Searching for Him

Chapter 10

One of the many elegant ivory cards delivered to our stateroom on the ship was one from Lord Godfrey Woolsey. He was also a member of the House of Lords. Lord Godfrey, a distinguished man in his late 50’s or early 60’s, was the Duke of Essex. He wore a monocle and sported a thin pencil moustache which was the fashion in the 1920’s. When I recognized him in the ship’s first class dining room he was seated with an attractive woman who he introduced as Mrs. Woolsey. I assumed she was his wife. For the remaining days of our voyage I did not see Lord Godfrey. However, several weeks after the boys and I were settled in my newly renovated Piccadilly house an invitation arrived inviting us to attend a weekend party at Lord Godfrey’s estate in Cambridgeshire.

By happenstance I saw Godfrey shortly thereafter at a meeting in the House of Lords. While I had formally acknowledged the invitation I reiterated that Andrew, Harold and I were looking forward to the event. He smiled wickedly and asked me to have the boys bring their new-style swimming costumes. His comment made me curious as to the type of party we might be attending. I was puzzled because I remembered him introducing me to the woman I thought was his wife. When I got back to our house I told the boys what Lord Godfrey said.

Harold said, “Oh, we know what kind of party Lord Godfrey is having. On the ship he invited us over for tea one afternoon. He made it clear that the invitation was only for the two of us. We didn’t say anything because we didn’t want you to be offended. We didn’t really know what to expect.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing really. He talked to us about attending Cambridge and reading for the law. As we were about to leave he boldly said, “Are you boys fairies?”

Harold said, “I’m sure we looked shocked but Andrew said ‘yes’.” We shook hands, thanked him and left.”

Andrew said, “Sorry we didn’t tell you. He wants us to bring our new swimming costumes? We don’t have any.”

“That’s what he said.”

“That means we have to buy new ones to please him. Do you want to come with us as we shop? We understand there’s a shop on Old Compton Street that has the kind of swimming costumes Lord Godfrey is referring to.”

“I might find something fashionable for myself.” The boys laughed.

The following day after I completed meetings in the City of London I met Andrew and Harold outside the Leicester Square tube station. We walked together to Old Compton Street and starting looking for number 34. We found the doorway marked 34 that opened onto stairs that led up to the second floor. Harold led the way as we followed him up the dark stairs. We found a door with 34 painted on the glass. We knocked and a small, white haired man with a prominent nose tentatively opened the door. “Yes?” he asked. I thought we had come to the wrong place but Harold said, “We are looking for new swimming costumes.” The man smiled and opened the door.

The shop was filled with racks and shelves of men’s sports clothing. There were rugby jerseys, running apparel, colorful men’s dress shirts and plenty of the skimpiest swimming costumes I had ever seen. While we stood in the middle of what appeared to be chaos there was a knock at the door. The little man unlocked the door carefully before allowing two dark skinned men in their 30’s into the shop. They were interested in sports clothing so the man encouraged us to look on our own. The boys wanted to try on many swimming costumes. Harold selected four and Andrew gathered an equal number to take into a curtained changing room in the back of the store. Andrew said, “Uncle Mike, come with us. I don’t want to parade around almost naked. You can give us your opinion.” I would get to see their beautiful bodies naked as they tried on the suits.

While Harold was pulling a costume over his bare butt the little man opened the curtain and said, “Find something that you like?”

Harold said, “I really like this white one with the navy belt.”

Andrew laughed, “That one’s obscene. It doesn’t cover your butt.”

Harold putting on and English accent, “You’ve seen mine plenty of times and so has Uncle Mike. I am ready for my arse to be seen with others.”

Andrew handed the little man two suits equally small but of different colors. He directed, “Uncle Mike go get one for yourself. You would look good in one of the full body types that covers your hairy chest.” I left the changing area determined to find something that I could wear in public. I returned to find both boys dressed and waiting. I stripped off my clothes and modestly turned away. I stuck my head and arms through the openings of a blue costume. The costume pulled against my balls and did not hide my manhood. Harold smiled, “Now whose being the showoff?”

“I don’t think I can wear this.”

“It looks great and shows off your sexy self.”

“Too much, I fear. I’ll buy it and, hopefully, at Lord Woolsey’s party I’ll have the courage to wear it.”

Harold selected a tailored yellow dress shirt and smart patterned cravat. Andrew selected a pink pin stripe and a white sleeveless sweater. They said they would wear these items at the party. The dark skinned men had left so the little man with foul cigarette breath returned to serve us. He could see we were in a buying mood. He said, “I have some trousers that just arrived that I would like you boys to try on. The trousers are not the full cut that is so popular currently but are cut for slim, muscular legs.” The boys affirmatively shook their heads and followed the man. He handed them identical blue jeans. “These were made by a French designer. I don’t think they will sell so I only bought a few pair. You boys will need to change out of your boxer underwear and put on briefs.” He held up infinitely small male panties which the boys retrieved from him.

I waited for the boys to change. They returned shirtless and barefoot. They were glorious to admire. Harold said, “Where would we wear these?”

I said, “Have you ever considered trying high top athletic shoes? This man has them.

“Those are for sports.”

“I don’t have much design sense but try on a pair with the jeans and your new shirts. I have a feeling that Lord Godfrey would like to see you dressed that way.” Both boys frowned but agreed to try them on. They didn’t like the black athletic shoes but when the man brought them the white high tops they were enthusiastic. When they finished dressing they looked like they were ready for a fashion photographer. “Lord Godfrey will approve.”

When the purchases were tallied we had spent over one hundred pounds. I was pleased and the boys couldn’t wait to parade around in their new clothes. As we left Harold said, “We are off to Saville Row to get you clothes for the party. I agreed I needed something more contemporary. My tailor measured me for a pair of cream colored loose gabardine trousers to wear with my tan and white travellers. Harold picked out a loose white shirt topped with a navy sweater vest with white piping around the neck and arm openings.

We ended the evening at my club for drinks before going home. I suggested that we go back to Piccadilly. I knew Theodore would have dinner waiting but I had only recently told the boys I had hired a butler. Having a butler had fallen out of fashion after the war. Some months ago I received a letter from my old butler, Theodore, who had stayed in New York on my first trip to America. The letter indicated that he had returned to Devon and was in need of employment. I rang him at his sister’s house. I could tell by his raspy voice he was not well. I told him I did not have employment at Pickwickhurst but might have something else. Several days later when I was in Devon I met with him. He told me he really liked America but found living in New York City oppressive and expensive. I was about to end our conversation but decided to go one step further. I boldly said, “Theodore, we need a butler who can cook and tidy up for us in London.”

“Who do you live with, Lord Michael?”

“I own a townhouse in Piccadilly. I am the mentor and guardian for two young Americans – Andrew and Harold. One is my cousin’s son and the other is his partner. If you suspect that we are queer you would be correct. My life is very busy with the House and my wine import business. The boys decided to register for an eight week course at the London School of Economics because they are too young to be regular students. We need someone to organize our lives with meals, laundry and the like.”

“I like the small town feel of Devon, but you have employment which is something I need right now.”

“If you accept my offer there is no drinking of alcohol.” I suspected he might have that problem.

“Lord Michael, you suspect I have that problem. You are correct but I have matured. I assure you my drink will not interfere with my duties. Do you want me to wear traditional butler’s clothing?”

“On a day-to-day basis that is not necessary. You should know we are quite relaxed in the flat. The boys aren’t modest nor am I. We will buy appropriate clothes for you later.”

“I understand. I respect your honesty.”

“I did not mean that. I meant be prepared and don’t turn away when a nude man or boy comes into the room.”

“I understand, but please understand that old habits are hard to break. I remember when you were young you enjoyed watching me as I bathed.”

“Yes, I remember looking at your maturing body.”

He smiled, “Time hasn’t been too kind to my body.” We agreed on terms and he said he would come to London in a few days.

When I told the boys I had hired a fifty year old butler they were initially concerned that their bedroom activities would be stifled. I assured them that Theodore was my butler of many years ago. I also told them I had informed him that ours was a queer house. Andrew said, “It will be nice to have someone around to clean up the place and cook. I am tired of having to dress and go out for dinner.”

The weekend of Lord Godfrey’s party arrived. We took a train to Cambridge and a motor car drove us to the estate some miles into the country. The invitation indicated that the daytime apparel was casual but formal wear was expected in the evening. Theodore had our valises packed with all the necessary items. Originally, I had not asked him to accompany us suspecting the weekend activities might upset him. Then I thought Lord Godfrey’s other guest probably would have servants along. I telephoned the estate and got a stiff “Good morning, Lord Godfrey Woolsey’s residence.”

Momentarily I paused before saying, “Yes, this is Viscount Devonshire.”

The knowing voice cut in, “Yes, Lord Devonshire, how might I help you?”

“Is it convenient to have my butler accompany us to Lord Godfrey’s event?”

“If he understands the discreet nature of the party and if he doesn’t mind sleeping in our bunkroom.” His comments gave me pause. I decided to tell Theodore what was said and see what he said. Theodore indicated that he would accompany us. The four of us approached the austere frontage of Lord Godfrey’s estate. Theodore opened the automobile door as the massive front door of the estate house opened. A houseman approached our automobile. He greeted me first, and then the boys. He did not say a word to Theodore.

The man ushered us inside. There were no other guests in the entry hall. The houseman left us uncomfortably standing there so he could assist Theodore taking the luggage up to the second floor. Hearing voices we turned to see Reginald Brandon, Earl of Colchester, enter from our left. Knowing him from the House I shook his hand warmly. He, like Lord Godfrey, was a tall man in his sixties. He was handsomely dressed. He looked toward the boys. “May I know your boys?”

“Yes, excuse me. Sir Reginald this is Andrew, my nephew, and his companion, Harold.”

“They’re handsome Chinese boys. You’re fortunate.”

From another room Lord Godfrey came hurrying in. “Michael, you made it. And who are these fine young men?”

Slightly miffed I said, “Lord Godfrey, you met Andrew and Harold on the SS Roosevelt.” I could see his face turn slightly scarlet as he smiled at the boys.

“So I’ve been found out.”

“Yes, the boys told me about your secret rendezvous.”

“Please stop calling me Lord Godfrey. I prefer Godfrey. I am happy you could attend my party. Some of my guests are already by the pool and others will be arriving soon.”

Emboldened I said smiling, “I understand you want to see my boys in new swimming costumes.”

“Are there no secrets?” he said looking surprised.

“Andrew, Harold and I are queer which you know.” My boys had moved toward the windows to look at the pool. I suspect they were uncomfortable with the bold way I politely confronted Godfrey. “On the ship you were always seated next to a woman. Wasn’t she introduced as Mrs. Woolsey?”

“That was my sister, Miss Woolsey. My wife died several years ago of cancer. Reginald’s wife divorced him when she found him shagging their stable boy.”

“God, Godfrey, you don’t have to tell of my indiscretions,” Reginald said sourly.

At that moment the front doors were opened and in walked Arthur and his partner, Bart. I was surprised but not shocked since it was well known at my club that Arthur and Bart were together. Seeing Arthur made me sad as I thought back on what I had hoped would be a lifelong relationship. We stiffly embraced. I smiled trying hard to make sure he thought well of me as a friend. He was still my business partner. He spoke first. “Michael, I haven’t seen you this week where have you been?” Not waiting for a response he continued, “Hello, Godfrey and Reginald, this is Bart, my companion.” His familiarity suggested he had socialized with them previously.

Arthur and Bart excused themselves. As Godfrey, Reginald and I chatted Andrew and Harold boys disappeared upstairs. Godfrey welcomed us onto the terrace overlooking a crystal pool where several men were floating. The sun was shining brightly on the pool.

Lord Godfrey's Estate HouseDrinks of lemonade and gin and quinine were offered. I started with lemonade considering it was early in the day. The lemonade was not only lemonade, as I should have suspected. There was conversation behind us as the four young men emerged. Andrew and Harold had on short white bathing gowns and espadrilles. Arthur and Bart were dressed in matching full body swimming costumes. They were also wearing espadrilles. When my boys reached poolside they dropped their gowns and Godfrey gasped, “More beautiful than I imagined. I want to get a closer look.” With drinks in our hands we walked to a table with an umbrella and four chairs. We sat quietly watching the young men frolic. Before long Andrew was on Harold’s broad shoulders engaging Arthur and Bart in a horse fight. Bart being smaller rode on top of Arthur. In short order several other equally attractive young men joined the pool party. Most of the light skinned English boys could tolerate the bright sun for only a short period. Andrew and Harold were dark but they didn’t want to get any darker.

During one drink break Harold came to our table and said, “Well, Godfrey do you like my swimming costume?” He turned provocatively exposing a small bit of his butt crack. Godfrey seemed stunned but reached out his left hand and tentatively touched the cleavage. His eyes glazed and he didn’t speak immediately. When Harold jumped in the pool he turned to me. “Do you sleep with your boys?”

“I have, but honestly only a couple of times. They are totally into each other. I love them too much to pursue intimacy with them. Unfortunately for me, Arthur and Bart are the same way. There are some boys who like to be with older men but not the four of them. I don’t mean to disparage older/younger relationships, but too often those boys want money for sexual favors.”

“You are so right. But there is no harm in looking and wishing.” We returned our attention to the boys in the pool.

At 2pm the butler announced that lunch was being served in a tent by the pool. By that time there were about 16 or 17 young men with Andrew and Harold probably being the youngest. The group included two Nubian boys. Our group of admirers had grown to six with me definitely the youngest at 42 years old. Without changing clothes we gathered under the tent.

The day was a delightfully warm as we sat at four round tables. Proper names cards lay in front of each place. That removed any question about where people were to sit. To my surprise I was seated near Godfrey with five boys I did not know. After a delicious lunch of vichyssoise, crab salad and Italian ice, Godfrey ordered the server to pour the champagne. When everyone had their glass filled Godfrey rose, “Welcome, one and all. Raise your glass and help me wish our friend Sir Reginald ‘Happy Birthday.’” There were “Here, here’s” all around.

Godfrey continued, “I have invited Rodney and Jerome, our Nubian friends, to be his birthday gifts. There was laugher as the two black boys stood and took a bow. I blushed but the others seemed comfortable with what Godfrey said. Godfrey proceeded to describe the program for the remainder of the afternoon and evening. He said, “Guests, this afternoon is yours. There are paths through the gardens, more time in the pool, rest in your rooms or go to the lower level where you will find a billiard table. At 7:00pm we will gather before dinner in the hall where you entered. Cocktails will be served. Non-alcoholic drinks are available for those who do not wish to drink alcohol. I have one request and those of you who have attended my other parties know what I’m about to ask. I have a photographer, a Mr. Platt-Lynes, to photograph each of you. He will do individual and group shots. You will receive copies in due time.

After he was reseated we continued our conversation while the boys slowly dispersed. I noticed that Reginald and his two boys headed toward the house. I knew from my earlier interactions with Godfrey that he was a forthright individual who spoke his mind. When it was only he and I at our table he asked, “Michael, when did you first know you liked boys?”

Slightly surprised I said, “Godfrey, I began to discover with my cousin Robbie when we were very young. We used to sleep naked and rub our willies under the sheets at my grandmother’s estate in Devon.”

“Your cousin is Robert Leyton-Cartright, I believe. He lives near me in Gramercy Park.”

“Yes, we called him Robbie. He came to Pickwickhurst when he wasn’t in school. We traveled to America for the first time with our grandparents when I was twelve and he was thirteen. I became familiar with his body and he did mine.”

“He is not like us?”

“No, when he got a older he decided he liked girls. After our trip to America he and I never spoke about our mutual exploration of sex. He knows I am a homosexual and we see each other frequently. He is always cordial and I adore his son and two daughters.”

“Interesting. I know you and Arthur are business partners but were you more than that?”

“Before I tell you more of my story I need to use the facilities.”

He said, “The loo is through those doors on the right. When you are finished join me in the arbor in the garden.” We rose together and went different directions. When I returned Godfrey was seated in an overstuffed wicker chair under a lush growth of clematis of multiple shades of pink, white, purple and maroon climbing the lattice. He invited me to sit in a chair next to him. He offered me a cigar which I politely refused. He said, “Do you mind?” I shook my head.

He directed me, “Continue…please.”

“Well, as I mentioned my sexual interest began to flower on my first trip to America. My grandmother, the late Lady Devonshire…”

“She and my oldest sister were friends from their days in finishing school before she married that toad, Malcolm. She moved to America, correct?”

“Yes, and lived there until she passed away earlier this year. She remarried a man from Colorado who had two sons – Leif and Jordan Brown.”

“Jordan Brown, the incredibly handsome actor. I saw him with Mrs. Patricia Campbell in the Wilde play, The Importance of Being Earnest. He was brilliant but he disappeared.”

“He was my first love and lover. I met him on that trip to America. To be precise he didn’t disappear. I whisked him away from London because his reputation as both a womanizer and a sodomite was becoming too well known.

“Yes, I was told he liked to be with men.”

“We told his close acquaintances that we were traveling to Colorado for his brother’s wedding. I was concerned his career would be doomed if he didn’t stop his nighttime activities. He didn’t argue when I suggested we travel to America. We stopped briefly in New York City before traveling west. When we reached Denver my grandmother arranged a meeting for Jordan with Mrs. Pat who was performing there. Gran was familiar with Mrs. Pat when she was starting her career in the theater. Mrs. Pat encouraged Jordan to come with her to San Francisco and perform the Wilde play that they had done together in London. As you said he performed with her in London. She knew he was a good actor. While Jordan and I had pleasant sexual activities when he was first in London it was during our trip to Colorado that he and I developed a close friendship. However, our sexual activities were coming to an end.”

“Did you continue to have sex with him?”

“Yes, but that lasted only until we reached San Francisco. Within our first few days there he met his future wife and they now have four children. Andrew is his nephew but I will tell you that story later. What about your story?”

“Not nearly as interesting as yours. I met my future wife at her presentation. I was an escort for another young lady who was my cotillion dance partner. I was introduced to my future wife that evening. My mother made sure I kept in touch with her. You may know that I did not attend Cambridge, which is nearby. My father and uncle were graduates of Carroll College at Oxford so that is where I went. Like all boys in public school I messed around a little but never really hooked up with anyone who wanted more than mutual masturbation. I was quite a proficient athlete and played tennis for our college. I took a shot at the rowing team which was truly enjoyable but very physical. Boys ran around in tight clothing which was willingly stripped off in the shower room. There was playful grabbing and butt swatting but that came to an end at Oxford.”

“Forgive me Godfrey for asking. You aren’t a virgin, are you?”

“No, no. My wife, Maggie, and I had sex regularly when we were first married. Unfortunately, she could not become pregnant so I have no heirs. I may be the last Earl of Essex unless my nephew decides to take up the responsibility.”

“Pardon my bluntness but are you a virgin regarding male sex?”

“No, on occasions in my early married years I secured the service of young men. I would hire a room at a West End hotel and meet boys. My favorites were the rougher boys. I loved their earthy, manly smell. The sex was good… really better than good. I got frightened when one boy showed up with white bumps on his willie. I knew what it was even if he didn’t. That really stopped my interaction with the boys, but not my interest. There are several bachelors in my club who were known as ‘players’ but I never got to know any of them well enough. I was afraid of getting discovered. As I have gotten older I have satisfied myself watching handsome lads like the boys here today. I know they are not interested in me for sex. I can understand that. I am an old man whose skin is sagging and eyes are drooping. Why would they be interested?”

“Godfrey, don’t sell yourself short. You are a distinguished gentleman. You have maintained your posture and kept your weight in check. I cannot say the same for me.”

“Now, you are selling yourself short, Michael. To me you’re a handsome,younger man.” We laughed. We turned toward voices. Harold and Andrew approached us. They were dressed in their new clothes. Both were ravishing in their colorful shirts, snug jeans and white tennis shoes. Godfrey asked, “Boys you look really good. Have you had your picture taken yet?”

“No, Lord Godfrey, but we thought you and Uncle would like to come with us. We have never done posing before. We pushed ourselves up from the overstuffed chairs and followed them to a forested glen outside the garden boundary. Mr. Lynes had his camera tripod set in front of a curved log that he was using as a seat. The four of us stood watching him pose and shoot pictures of a fellow with long blond hair and brilliant blue eyes wearing a checked Cardigan sweater. Mr. Lynes had the fellow first look right and then left. In a few minutes he was finished and the fellow stepped next to us to watch.

Godfrey spoke, “Boys, it’s your turn.”

Harold said, “Lord Godfrey, we want a picture of you with Uncle Michael. You look like you are enjoying each other’s company.” Godfrey looked at me and smiled. “Are you willing to sit with me for a photo?”

“Of course.” We sat close with hips touching. Mr. Lynes had me put my arm around Godfrey’s shoulder and then put it around his waist. I intentionally pulled him into me. He did not resist. The photographer encouraged us to smile and finally to look at each other and smile. I could feel that Godfrey was tense.

It was time for Harold and Andrew who happily hopped onto the log seat. Mr. Lynes came forward and smoothed their garments. As he prepared I was aware that his flat fronted trousers were pushing outward. He didn’t try to straighten himself but I could tell he was excited by his subjects. His many directions: “Boys, look this way... Boys smile at each other... Young man, on my right, wrap your arm around your friend.”

When he seemed to be finishing Harold asked the photographer, “Sir, would you take our picture more naturally?”

“It is fine with me if Lord Godfrey approves.”

“Do what the boys ask,” he said to Mr. Platt-Lynes.

At that point as if planned Andrew pulled his sweater over his head and handed it to me. That was followed by his new shirt. At the same time Harold untied his cravat and unbuttoned his shirt. They returned to the log for several shots. The audience had grown from three to six as other boys gathered to watch. Harold stood up and reached down to untie his high tops as did Andrew.

Andrew (L) and Harold (R) posingProvocatively, both unbuttoned the top button of their tight trousers. They returned to their perch as Mr. Lynes clicked away. He questioned, “Are we finished?”

Harold looked my direction, “Can we go all the way?”

“Fine with me if Godfrey approves.”

“God, yes, let me see all of your glorious bodies. They turned away and slipped off their trousers exposing tiny briefs which they slipped over their smooth butts. They turned with their hands in front. As if on cue they returned to the log and put their arms around each other. Mr. Lynes snapped many shots with many admiring comments: “Go for it…God look at their smooth skin. There are no blotches like mine. I would be too embarrassed to show my willie.” When Harold and Andrew were satisfied they retrieved their briefs and dressed.

By this time Arthur and Bart had joined the audience. Arthur spoke, “If the boys can bare it all so can we.” He and Bart, who had been photographed earlier, were naked in a matter of moments and were seated on the log. Rather than sit, Mr. Lynes had them stand in such a way that their willies were partially covered. He tried several other polite poses and then several straight on shots. Before the afternoon was over more than half the boys had stripped for the camera. I wondered what was going to happen to the pictures.

Before the picture taking was over Godfrey put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me in the direction of the arbor. Once we were seated the butler served two tall gin and quinine with a slice of lemon. After one sip Godfrey said, “Do you want the pictures of your boys?”

“Absolutely, it’s a shame that lovely young men who are as beautiful as women can’t be seen nude.”

“Your boys are exotically attractive. You’re a lucky man. Arthur is very handsome, too in a more mature way. I don’t see what he sees in his little Bart.” We sat and sipped. Godfrey put his head back and dozed off. I nursed my drink until the boys came up to announce they were going to bath and dress. I followed them into the house and up the stairs to our room. Theodore was waiting and began to draw our baths. He was accustomed to our nudity and no longer winced as we paraded naked before him. He had the tuxedos pressed and hanging in the closet. He waited patiently as each of us bathed. No one dressed until we were all finished bathing.

Two men dancing togetherWhen we descended the main staircase Mr. Lynes was positioned to take formal pictures. He took shots of the three of us until I insisted he take shots of only the boys. A traffic jam was occurring on the stairs as others waited. The evening was magical. It started with drinks in Lord Godfrey’s library. Cocktails were followed by a four course dinner with different wine served with each course. After dinner there was a five piece orchestra in the third floor ballroom for dancing. The boy couples were totally comfortable being close to each other whether they were doing the Charleston, the Lindy Hop, or a slow waltz. Two couples were able to do a stylish Argentinean tango. By eleven the group was dispersing except for a few boys who seemed to be waiting for an invitation to someone’s bed. I suspected that no one who wanted to sleep with someone was disappointed.

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