Searching for Him

Chapter 11

The next morning the house was quiet as I stepped slowly down the stairs in my dressing gown. My boys were wrapped in each other’s arms sleeping soundly. The breakfast room with open floor to ceiling windows letting in bright sunshine and fresh morning air welcomed me. There were cups for tea and coffee but no one was around to serve. I sat down in one of the high back chairs and enjoyed the vibrant flowers in the garden. A “Good morning,” startled me. I turned and Godfrey was standing holding his cup in his hands. “Coffee or tea? Sugar? Cream?”

“Coffee American-style.” He turned as the butler entered, poured a cup and handed it to me. “Godfrey, it was an amazing party.”

“It was my pleasure. Better than ever with you and your boys here. What are your plans?”

“I know the boys have to return to London. They have one of their seminars this afternoon. I planned to accompany them. I have meetings later in the week. In fact, the meetings are with Arthur and his solicitors. I am selling my interest in the wine distribution business to him.”

“He has the money to buy a business at such a young age?”

“Not really, I am financing the sale but he has become quite a good businessman from our work together. He does spend quite freely. Honestly, it’s too difficult working with my former lover. I get sad and depressed thinking about what a wonderful time we had together until he got tired of me.”

“Enough of that sad talk. Why don’t you send the boys on their way and spend a couple of extra days with me? You have much more to tell me about your journey.”

“Thank you for the invitation. I might stay until tomorrow but then I must be on my way.” I turned back to gaze into the garden as Godfrey walked into another room. Soon I was joined by some of the boys from the party, in need of a cup of coffee.

By late morning most of the boys had departed. Arthur and Bart were dressed with valise in hand when they entered the breakfast room. Arthur said, “Godfrey, we must be going. Could you have one of your men bring my Roadster around? We’re expected at Noel Coward’s for a soiree this afternoon to celebrate his new play The Vortex.” They drank a quick cup of coffee and said, “Goodbye.” By 2pm either by automobile or motorbike, almost all the guests including Andrew and Harold had departed. One of the last to appear and then leave was Reginald with his two Nubian boys. He jokingly said, “Godfrey, me and my birthday gifts must be off. It was a wonderful affair.” The boys stood silent but smiled their thanks.

That left only Walter, an old friend of Godfrey and me. Seeing that the day was mostly cloudy but warm, Godfrey said, “How about we take a dip in the pool before we dress?”

“Fine idea. I’ll get into my swimming costume,” Walter said.

“No need. I have given the servants the day off. It is just us. Skinny dipping is what I am suggesting.”

“Fine by me,” I said. Walter seemed a bit uncomfortable.

Godfrey said, “Walter, don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”

He smiled, “But my body isn’t much to look at when compared to what we saw yesterday.” We both acknowledged him with a laugh.

Once poolside, we dropped our dressing gowns and pajamas and jumped into the cool water. There was no splashing and horse fighting, just quiet conversation between us. I noticed that Godfrey was well hung. His white hair and mustache were a small portion of the hair that covered his entire body. Walter was hairless except for hair in the expected places. After a while we were getting cold and decided to get out. We sat by the pool to dry off since we had failed to bring drying towels. No one was around to serve drinks or food so we went to the kitchen to see what the cook had left for us to eat. We followed Godfrey who carried his clothes as we did. Once inside, Walter seeing the grand clock in the hall said, “Oh my, I must dress. My driver is expected soon.” He left us in the kitchen and returned only momentarily to say “Goodbye.”

As we sat on the stools in the kitchen munching roast beef sandwiches on hard bread Godfrey said, “Michael, should we go into the village for some steak and kidney pie in a bit? The pub is the only place open with food on Sunday evening.” I was aware that Godfrey had reached over and put his hand on my thigh. He moved closer, put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently. I didn’t react but wondered what he was thinking. When he stood, his gown was not tied and he was exposed to me. I detected a slight expansion of his member. He started out of the room with, “I’ll see you here in thirty minutes or so. I make quite a good martini.”

Godfrey was, in his own naïve way, trying to seduce me. I wasn’t sure if I was interested. He was an interesting conversationalist. When we returned from our pub dinner Godfrey opened a brandy decanter and said, “Care to tell me more about your queer life? We got interrupted yesterday.”

“I don’t know exactly where I left off.” Boldly I said, “Why don’t you plan to travel to London and stay with me in my flat in Piccadilly so we can get to know each other better?”

“Is next weekend too soon? I don’t have any engagements.”

“That would be fine. What say you come around Friday afternoon in time for cocktails? I hate to disappoint you but the boys are going to Cambridge next weekend.”

“If you don’t mind me saying my interest is in you, not your boys. Don’t get me wrong, I loved to look but know I will never get to touch.”

Slightly surprised at his boldness I smiled and stood up. “I’m off to bed.” I knew he would have preferred that I slept with him but I decided this wasn’t the right time. I suspected we would be together in the same bed soon enough. The week flew by. Arthur and I completed our transaction. I identified a reliable business partner for Arthur. He was a man I knew from the club. I decided to write a clause in the agreement that allowed me to retake control of the business if they missed two loan payments.

I told Theodore about my expected guest and told him that dinner would be for two. Looking into his eyes I suspected he had been drinking but chose not to say anything. Promptly at 6pm Friday night Godfrey knocked at my door. Theodore opened it and escorted Godfrey into the parlor. Theodore took his coat and valise as Godfrey shook my hand. “Good to see you Michael. I have been looking forward to hearing more of your story all week. My life in the country has been quite dull since my wife died. She is the one who arranged all our social contacts.”

“Any more skinny dipping?”

“As a matter of fact, no, not because of the servants, but because of weather. It has been cool and rainy this week. Normally I swim without a suit for my exercise. The servants must know, but no one says anything. They know their role.”

I handed him a dry martini with an olive. He skeptically sipped, “Umm, quite good. Did you make it?”

“No, Theodore, is the master martini maker. Unfortunately, I have noticed that he is indulging too often. It is a problem I am dreading having to deal with.”

“Do you mind if I light up my cigar? How did your negotiations with Arthur go?”

“You might hear objections from the boys but I am OK with it.” I stood by my writing table where Godfrey sat taking a puff or two. “As for the sale of the wine business negotiations were completed successfully. You can congratulate me for being out of the wine import business.”

“What will you do now to keep yourself busy?”

“Oh, that won’t be a problem. Remember I still have the House and Pickwickhurst and I have investments to attend to.”

“I didn’t mean to be probing into your business.”

At that moment Theodore announced dinner. I could tell he was shaky. When we walked into the dining room the soup had already been ladled into the bowls which was unusual. I suspected he had the cook ladle it so he wouldn’t spill it. He cleared and served our plated meal without difficulty. As he stepped away he said, “Lord Michael, I am really feeling quite ill. Do you mind if Cookee serves dessert and coffee?” I acknowledged him with a nod, but was concerned that his condition might be more than drink.

After we were seated I said, “So Godfrey you want to hear more about my sexual adventures?”

“Well, if that is what you call them, yes.”

“As I told you I had my first childhood experience with my cousin Robbie.”

“Robert Cartwright, correct?”

“Then came the love of my life Jordan Lewis. He was not only good in bed but incredibly good looking and talented.”

“He was Mrs. Campbell’s co-star when I first saw him.”

“He performed in the West End for several years and often sat in the very chair you are occupying. I told you he lives in San Francisco more as a stage manager and producer than an actor.”

Cookee rushed into the room, “Lord Michael, excuse me but Theodore has fallen and doesn’t seem to be able to get up.” Both Godfrey and I followed her into the kitchen where we found Theodore on the floor holding his heart. Godfrey instinctively went to the telephone to ring up the emergency rescue service. Cookee and I tried to comfort Theodore as we waited. We heard the bell and voices before Godfrey showed the men into the kitchen with their gurney. Skilfully they hoisted Theodore onto the gurney and told us they were taking him to Westminster Hospital. I knew the hospital was well known for its treatment of heart ailments.

After he was gone Cookee asked if we wanted dessert and we both declined and went into the parlor where Godfrey lit another cigar. Godfrey asked, “Do you need to attend to Theodore?”

“There is nothing I can do for him sitting in a smelly hospital. They will call if they need me. I would like to delay our conversation about my life. Why don’t you plan to stay here for the week? There are several plays we can see. I have my regular subscription tickets for the London Symphony Orchestra this Thursday.”

“I would love to, but didn’t bring clothes thinking this was just a weekend visit. I can call and have my butler bring appropriate clothes. He may be able to assist Cookee since Theodore is disabled. When will your boys return?”

“Fine idea. I think on Tuesday but their plans seemed open. They will be happy to see you.” It was approaching 9pm when I followed Godfrey up the stair to the guest room. Seeing he was comfortable, I retired.

When I came down in the morning I noticed that Godfrey was dressed only in his dressing gown without pajamas underneath. He was reading the newspaper and looked over the top of his reading glasses. “Cookee doesn’t seem to be around so I boiled my own water for tea.”

“Sorry you had to do that. Theodore usually handles weekend duties. I must ring up the hospital to see how Theodore is doing.” When I returned I said, “Getting information was difficult. I have to go and see for myself.”

“I’ll come with you.” As he rose from his chair his gown again was wide open. He drew the waist belt around him and went toward his room. I did the same. At the hospital it was difficult finding someone who could tell us Theodore’s condition except to confirm what we thought, that he had a heart attack. We looked him sleeping in a ward with eight beds.

We went to my club for lunch. We found Arthur and Bart having lunch with two gentlemen. I called Arthur over and told him about Theodore. He seemed concerned and asked that he be kept informed. Before leaving I telephoned the hospital again inquiring about Theodore’s condition. The matron sister told me he was very sick and was likely to be in the hospital for some time. I relayed that message not only to Godfrey but also Arthur. Godfrey’s butler was waiting on my front stoop when we returned to the townhouse. His tall, stern manner had not changed. He carried Godfrey’s and his own valise into the house. He was directed to Godfrey’s room first and then to Theodore’s room on the third floor. I found clean sheets and towels which he took from me and abruptly informed me he would take care of things.

In an unusually jovial manner at dinner, Godfrey and I sat at the kitchen counter consuming leftovers which his butler had found and warmed. The butler stood holding his plate. He seemed uncomfortable sitting with us but Godfrey said, “George, don’t worry these are unusual circumstances. Sit down. When Cookee returns we will return to normal.” He weakly smiled, seated himself and ate quietly. He automatically stood when he sensed we were ready to leave.

After eating we went into the parlor momentarily. Godfrey said, “Michael, do you mind if I change into some lounging clothes?”

“Not at all and I will join you. Are you dressing for bed?”

“That is what I was planning. I don’t think George has unpacked my smoking jacket.”

“Fine, then pajamas it is.”

When Godfrey returned it was only in his dressing gown secured by his belt. I boldly asked, “Do you sleep without pajamas?”

“Always have. What about you?”

“Pajamas, as I have found that when I’m nude I get cold. That was not true before Arthur left me. We used to sleep naked together on occasion.”

“You mean when you or he had other things planned.”

“Yes and no. Sometimes we just would like to feel each other close.”

“Remind me, was Arthur your lover after Jordan?” I proceeded to tell Godfrey how Arthur and I came to be together. I also told him about Michael and Brother Walter.”

“How long were you and Arthur partners?”

“That is an interesting question because our relationship had several stages. In the beginning I was more of a mentor both in bed and in business. Arthur has an attractive body and engaging manner. You perhaps noticed that he mingles easily as he did at your party. That is why he has become so successful in the wine business. He and Bart tend to quickly rebuff people if they think they’re boorish. I find that their manner can be quite rude. To be straightforward, we had sex occasionally. I think I enjoyed it more than he did. He was always gentle with me.

“Part one lasted about three years. At that point I was beginning to believe he really cared for me. We travelled to France, Italy, South Africa and a couple of time to America. The sex was great but not too often. I had to be the aggressor. He never initiated. That phase lasted about five years when things changed. We were having good success with the wine business. At dinner one night he told me he wanted his own place. About that time he moved out of my bed and into the guest room. There was no more sex, but there was an occasional kiss on each of my cheeks.

“I don’t know when or how he met Bart but they have been fast ever since. To be honest I hoped Arthur and I would be together forever. I never got the feeling he looked at our relationship that way.” I could see Godfrey was erect under his gown. He didn’t seem to care as his gown fell open. His situation caused me to become erect.

He said laughingly, “See what your story did to me. Excuse me for being bold but I find you very attractive. I know I am older but you can see my willie still works.”

I smiled, “Yes, I can see that. Would you like to join me in my bed?”

“I would like that very much.” We walked upstairs together and slipped under the covers of my bed. I started with kissing which he did stiffly. His hard member pushed against my stomach. I asked him to be less physical and relax. He enjoyed hard kissing and pinching which I did not care for. I enjoyed nuzzling into his hairy chest and armpits. He was a noisy partner. I was concerned that his butler would notice the noise since he was on the floor immediately above us. When I mentioned that to Godfrey he brushed it aside.

The next morning as coffee and tea were served George smiled at me, “Sir, did you enjoy your time with Sir Godfrey?” I thought the comment was indiscreet but knew he knew our secret. From that time forward George was our loyal and faithful servant until he retired. George replaced Theodore who was never able to return to my service. I supported Theodore for several years before he had another massive heart attack and died.

*  *  *  *  *

Saturday, March 3, 1939 – Godfrey and I had been together for fourteen years. Earlier this month he passed away in his sleep. He had been feeling weak for a few days and the physicians didn’t have an explanation. He was 76 after all. He didn’t suffer. He was buried next to his wife in Cambridgeshire with a small contingent of neighbors in attendance. We appropriately celebrated his life on his 75th birthday at his estate with many of the same boys who attended the pool party in 1926. As it turned out, Godfrey was the right partner for me even though I never had thought I would fall in love with an older man. He was discreet when he needed to be and a sexual animal in bed. His willie never failed him even during our last sex three days before he died.

Godfrey and I travelled extensively in the Far East in the early years of our relationship. We particularly loved Siam where we were fawned over by the cute, brown boys. Godfrey thought he was in heaven when we had four Siamese boys giving us a joint massage. He and I were passengers on the maiden voyage of the RMS Queen Elizabeth. We were joined by Andrew and Harold who had come over for a visit from their home in Hollywood. We enjoyed New York but were anxious to get to Colorado to be with Andrew’s family on the ranch. Leif and May Lou were thrilled to have Andrew with them. He was now a successful banker in San Francisco. For the first few years of my relationship with Godfrey we saw the boys frequently. At social events their striking appearance always turned heads. Godfrey and I were so sorry when they decided to move to California. When his father died Harold took over the family business. They sent pictures of the magnificent mansion they built on Nob Hill.

The financial disaster that started in America in 1929 affected almost everyone. Fortunately, Godfrey decided early in 1927 to move all his liquid assets to gold. I couldn’t understand that move at the time, but it was definitely the right move. Unfortunately for me, I got the wine business back when Arthur missed many more than two payments. Unrelated to what was being called the depression was the change in the wine business. The Volstead Act was repealed and wine prices spiked. My shipments from California became less frequent and of lower quality. I was able to sell, or really give away, the business to another wine wholesaler who agreed to employ Arthur.

My personal financial situation didn’t change much because I had resisted the stock market. I had adequate assets except I had to let maintenance of Pickwickhurst lapse. Godfrey and I traveled to southern Germany one last time earlier this year. He and I disagreed on whether war was coming. He was convinced that Hitler was not going to be stopped by the pacifist government of Neville Chamberlain. He was correct, but did not live to see his prediction come true. When war came I closed my house in Piccadilly and moved back to the manager’s cottage on Pickwickhurst. I was again a warden for Devonshire. I helped at a local boarding school where girls and boys from London were sent for their safety.

The one personal fatality of the war was my house in Piccadilly. The local fire warden called and told me the townhouse took a direct hit from a German bomb and completely burned. I was sad about the house but fortunately no one was living there. My greater sadness was the loss of Gran’s day books. When I finally saw the house some months later I searched for the books but did not find a trace of them.

Final Editor's Note

I hope your enjoyed my great-uncle’s tale. His resilience in the face of losing so many lovers is sad. My life as a gay man is so much different than he had an opportunity to experience. I found the following death notice among the dusty papers I mentioned at the beginning of this piece. I am bringing finality to this work by including his death notice that appeared in the Devon’s Western Morning News on December 24, 1953.

Lord Michael Leyten-Walker, Sixth Viscount of Devonshire, died in his sleep on December 21, 1953 at Pickwickhurst in Devonshire. He was buried in the family plot on the estate.

Robert Leyton-Cartright, III, Eighth Viscount of Devonshire

Final Word

This is Max and me decorating our Christmas tree in the cottage. I’m on the left and Max is on the right. Our devious friend, Hank snapped the picture when we weren’t looking. We are excited that Pickwickshire Bed & Breakfast will be ready to open for the summer season. We will have twelve beautifully decorated bedrooms with private, modern baths. Next Christmas we plan for a twenty foot tree in the entry hall as we welcome everyone for festivities. Please come and step into my family’s history.