Searching for Him
Chapter 8
Monday, December 10, 1910 – It has been wonderful having Michael visiting for a few days. He had so much to tell me about San Francisco and his adventures in the Napa Valley. He even left us a case of the red wine. I miss him already not knowing when I might see him again. He told me he would be coming back but things are so unsettled in Europe with all the talk of war. I wonder when he will be able to leave. He must return to England and take his rightful place in the House of Lords. He has received reports from Pickwickhurst that the receipts from the harvest were much less than in previous years. He suspects it’s mismanagement which is another reason he probably won’t be back for a while. I found Michael’s young traveling companion, Arthur, charming but a bit shy.
I must get Lewis to take me to San Francisco. Perhaps, we can convince Leif and May Lou to let us come along when they take their wedding trip. I don’t want to be intrusive but I surely would like to see Jordan and meet his new bride.
Arthur and I left Denver on the Missouri Pacific passenger service on a blustery December morning. I reserved a carriage with two suites. We were in the suite forward on the last car of the train furthest from the coal smoke and cinders. It was possible to have the windows open to let the cool autumn air come in. Arthur was pleasant and quiet but not shy as Gran suggested. He is tall and slender with an infectious smile. He is studious and reads constantly. He didn’t talk much but when he had something important to say, people listened. I loved our conversations. His clothes were neat. On our second day he commented that he was looking forward to a bath when we reached St. Louis. He undressed in front of me without hesitation as he did his limited toileting on the train.
In St. Louis we had an overnight at the American Hotel which had recently opened. Our room was richly appointed and had many new electric lights. There was hot and cold running water in our private toilet. Both Arthur and I bathed soon after we arrived. When he was drying himself his hard manhood stood before me. Jokingly I said, “Arthur, don’t tease me.”
“I don’t mean to but I was thinking how nice it would be if we slept together since we can’t do that on the train.”
Surprised but pleased I said, “It would be my pleasure.”
That was the first night of our sexual activity but not the last. He was a gentle, compliant partner in bed. Since that night and on our continuing trip I have become attached to Arthur. Before arriving in New York I encouraged him to accompany me to England where he could consider Oxford or Cambridge rather than Harvard. Arthur was not wealthy but comfortable by his own description. He suggested he didn’t have the resources to travel with me. When I told him he did not have to worry he agreed to join me on the trans-Atlantic trip on the Mauritania without making any further commitments.
Brother Walter had told me of Arthur’s personal situation. Having breakfast one morning Arthur unemotionally mentioned that his father was killed in the earthquake. I told him how sorry I was. He didn’t react and never mentioned his mother. He decided to travel to England with me so we cabled Brother Walter who wrote that he would notify the family in Massachusetts. Brother Walter’s note wished us safe travel.
When I returned to Pickwickhurst I was totally consumed, understanding the state of affairs on the estate. Arthur pored over the books and found gross errors in the bookkeeping, causing me to suspect misappropriation of funds. I had no way to prove it. I chose instead to relieve the estate manager and his girlfriend, the bookkeeper, of their duties. It was the right thing to do. My farm manager told me he suspected inappropriate activities. The embezzlement caused me to be short of funds, leading to a delay in much needed repairs to the main house. The roof needs to be replaced and the multiple fireplaces tuck pointed or sealed. Reluctantly I closed the house and moved into the estate manager’s cottage after doing renovations to its kitchen and toilet. Arthur and I were careful not to appear too close while we were on the estate. Arthur interviewed and subsequently enrolled in Trinity College at Cambridge.
Six Years Later
As I reread the passage from Gran’s journal I realized that six years have passed since I had been in the United States. The war in Europe was going full bore but the United States was not engaged except to provide war materiel and food. Our Prime Minister David Lloyd-George was frustrated that the United States government hadn’t sent badly needed troops. The German U-boats were causing havoc on the merchant fleet coming and going from the United States.
I had official duties in Devon as I was the warden for war preparedness in Devonshire and had monthly meetings in London. There was constant talk of a German invasion but the battlefield was contained in Belgium and France. The number and severity of British casualties was horrible. Thankfully, being an American, Arthur did not face conscription, as others did. He matriculated with a double degree in Spanish and mathematics. Being only sixty-five miles from London I saw him frequently. When he graduated he moved into my flat. He started as a researcher at the London School of Economics.
To make it more pleasant for both Arthur and me I had my flat painted, updated the furnishings and reappointed the bathroom and kitchen with new fixtures plus an electric icebox and stove. My neighborhood was becoming more fashionable so I decided it would be a good investment not only to upgrade my Piccadilly flats when they became vacate. Arthur and I could be together without suspicion. The renovation was significantly delayed because of wartime shortages of everything the craftsmen needed. It took more than six months to complete the project. Poor Arthur had to live in my messy flat for a month before my second floor tenant moved out. He moved down there until the project was completed.
My travel to London became less frequent because of the war. When we were together Arthur talked about establishing a wine importing business. He knew Tom, Walter and I had discussed setting the business up before we left San Francisco. In addition to war preparedness I set about finding out what needed to be done to get the proper licenses. My first inquiry was with Her Majesty’s Customs and Excise. Arthur assisted me and in his research and interviews discovered that the inspectors in Southampton were substantially subsidized by the French wine merchants. Rather than try to compete with the French I got permission to bring our wine into Liverpool. The transportation was made easier after the Panama Canal opened in 1914. The sea voyage from California to England was reduced by almost 8000 miles which meant wine shipped in the year following the harvest would arrive in Liverpool two months earlier.
Walter’s input was important. He wrote that he was increasingly convinced that the Congress would try and probably succeed passing a law to curtail the drinking of alcoholic beverages. He added that it appeared that vintners would be able to continue to produce sacramental wine. That information informed another decision which involved Tom’s distant cousins in Portugal. We discovered that it was easier if we bottled and labelled the wine in Portugal.
After multiple rejections we found a wine merchant in Cambridge specializing in Portuguese and Spanish wine who would consider selling our wine. We used the bottles we brought from California for him to taste the quality of the wine. He procured a first shipment of twenty cases which arrived in March, 1918. It was clear the war would be ending soon and, hopefully, wine would once again become a staple of the English dinner. The wine merchant invited his best customers and wine connoisseurs from London to sample both the Christian Brothers pinot noir and the cabernet sauvignon. The response was beyond what he anticipated. In less than two weeks he contacted me to order more wine. He told me the feedback was good regarding the taste, aroma and affordable price. Several of his regular customers immediately ordered a case and wanted more when the next shipment arrived.
I told him to expect more wine within a month. Arthur identified those who needed to be subsidized to speed the movement of our wine. The subsidy was expensive causing us to raise our prices slightly. I began receiving inquires from wine merchants in and around London about our wine that they had heard or read about. I was overwhelmed. Arthur was requiring more time for his studies so he was not able to help me as much. Arthur decided to learn Portuguese which came easily because of his proficiency in Spanish.
Without Arthur’s help I decided to hire a salesman to represent us and handle the customer contacts. Arthur helped me set up a small office in the basement of my flat. We, also, hired a clerk. That took most of our profit for the first year but we expected to do better the second year.
Tom’s journalistic reputation was growing quickly and as a result, he had limited time to devote to the wine business. That was not true for Walter. Shortly after the Panama Canal opened to ocean liners Walter took a trip to Europe. Arthur and I met him in Lisbon after his crossing. Walter’s tall stature and commanding presence was unmistakable as he came down the gangplank. He smiled broadly when he saw Arthur and me.
I booked a suite at the Avenida Liberdade Hotel thinking Walter would have one room and Arthur and me the other. From the first night Walter made his desire for group sex clear. When we returned to the suite after dinner the first night, Walter undressed to his unijohns as Arthur and I put on dressing gowns. It was obvious looking at the front of his underwear he was excited. I could tell from Arthur’s lack of conversation he was unsure what to do. He saw Brother Walter as a teacher and mentor not as a sex partner. Walter excused himself to use the toilet and returned totally naked. He said, “Let’s not be shy. Are you ready?” I was not shy getting in bed with him. Arthur held back until Walter literally walked over to Arthur and removed his dressing gown and led him to our bed. It didn’t take long for Arthur’s inhibitions to disappear.
Walter took the lead by kissing both of us in many places on our bodies. He encouraged us to do a triangle with one of us sucking each other’s cock. He was quick to position himself as the sucker of Arthur. Arthur sucked me and me Walter. No one reached a climax until Walter inserted a finger into Arthur’s rear end. I knew from personal experience that Arthur would climax quickly. I was correct as Arthur’s noises announced his cumming. I did the same thing to Walter and got the same result. Arthur rolled me on my back and inserted his long slender dick into my cavity. I continued to suck Walter as he returned to hardness. I was in heaven when Arthur was inside me. I came quickly and afterward the three of us languished in bed kissing and cuddling. Eventually Walter returned to his own room as Arthur and I fell asleep.
The following day the three of us drove to the warehouse and cooperage operation of our Portuguese partner. Arthur and I were unaware that Walter had brought twenty hogsheads of wine with him. They were sent directly from the ship to the warehouse. He explained that each barrel could fill 105 bottles with no spillage. We figured we could count on 100 bottles per barrel. With Arthur’s translation, the warehouse owner agreed to bottle half of the shipment and let the other barrels age for another year. Again through translation Walter explained that we would give the Bishop of Lisbon’s representative two hogsheads to demonstrate to US customs authorities that ours was sacramental wine. All we requested was a letter acknowledging the transaction.
Having the gift acknowledged turned out to be an important decision. Our export operation was never questioned because we were sending sacramental wine before the Volstead Act passed in 1920. The Christian Brothers wine making operation never lessened even though agents regularly questioned why so much sacramental wine was being made. Walter established our process before the law went into effect but we were still obliged to pay off certain curious tax agents.
After official business in Portugal was completed we took the train to Paris before going to Liverpool to meet our shipment of a 1000 bottles. Walter’s desire for sex was insatiable. When we were in Paris we shared a suite but did not see Walter except to bath and dress. Nightly, he found one or more young men in the Beaubourg area of the 4th arrondissement for his man-to-man liaisons. I was relieved that he found men other than us to meet his sexual needs. Arthur wasn’t comfortable with Brother Walter’s behavior and after two days returned to London.
Walter was not the least bit shy about his sexual conquests. At our regular lunch he bragged about his successes. It seemed the more men he could do the better mood he was in.
I was concerned when he appeared with a puffy lip. He explained that a young man got so excited he bit his lip. I laughed but he didn’t. In a week he had had enough and told me he needed a rest. From Calais we took the ferry across to Southampton where we caught the train into Waterloo. I invited Walter to stay in the flat. He declined and chose a small hotel close by. The three of us dined together regularly. We visited with wine merchants. We had an appointment with our solicitors to make sure we stayed within the law. We were busy.
For the remainder of Walter’s stay, Arthur was busy with exams he said. He often was late returning to our flat. I sensed he was not telling me everything. I had Walter to escort so I didn’t dwell on it. Walter accompanied me to Pickwickhurst for a few days before taking the train to Liverpool to board the Mauritania for New York. He planned to visit relatives before returning to San Francisco.
Eight Years Later
Friday, June 10, 1924 – I am thinking this may be my last entry into my “Day Book.” My eyes are tired, my handwriting has become atrocious and perhaps I have said enough. I still haven’t gotten used to Lewis being gone. His death from stomach cancer was so painful for me to experience. I would happily have taken his pain unto myself. I am so lonely without him. I am happy that Michael is coming to my birthday party. He wrote that he will arrive next Tuesday. He indicated he can stay for about two weeks.
I will be so pleased to see him. It has been more than ten years since he was here. I hope he is as proud of Leif and May Lou’s children as I am. They are getting into their teenage years. They are still so engaging and sweet. May Lou told me we are expecting 60 or so guests for my birthday affair. I try to help her and the staff prepare but she tells me that I am not supposed to.
I was spending a week in London and had a quiet evening to myself. I sat in my favorite chair and reached for one of Gran’s day books. I decided to read Gran’s last entry even though there are many of her pages I haven’t read. Gran wrote that it had been ten years since I saw her, in fact, it has been fourteen years. I remember the day Arthur and I left Denver to begin our journey. Being back for Gran’s 70th birthday party is important to me as, I am sure, it is to her. When I got to the ranch she was sitting on the porch with her hands in her lap. Leif and his oldest son, Andrew, met me at the train in Denver. We drove to the ranch in their new Buick automobile.
Gran tentatively rose to hug me and kissed me on both cheeks. I could feel her bony structure as she held me for a long time. She smiled and said, “Michael, it’s so very good to see you. You are looking so handsome.” Those were words she said to me over and over when I was a young boy. I was welcomed by the entire family as a returning warrior. I was almost embarrassed.
On the day of the party Gran wore a glorious yellow floor length gown which must have been ordered from New York. Her white mature hair was stylishly piled high on her head just as she wore it in England. Her eyes sparkled. She was regal as she moved slowly among the guests in the ballroom of the Antlers. Some guests seemed to genuflect as she spoke to them. She was a grande dame receiving the admiration from her subjects. I smiled thinking about the happy second life of this grand lady. I wondered how many more birthdays she would be having. Unfortunately, my answer came quickly. Three nights after the party and following a wonderful dinner with me, Leif and May Lou’s family, she retired smiling and happy. When Mrs. White Feather went to wake her in the morning she found the Gran had passed away in the night.
What might have been a sad time definitely was not. The funeral was held in the new Grace and St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church in Colorado Springs. The sanctuary was filled to capacity to honor a British woman who had done so much for the community. She and Lewis were the driving force behind the establishment of a children’s wing at St. Francis Hospital. Not only did the mayor attend Gran’s funeral but so did the Lt. Governor and his wife. The reception at the Antlers after the funeral was even bigger than Gran’s birthday party. She was buried next to Lewis in the family crypt near the church.
Leif and May Lou encouraged me to stay longer but I needed to get on my way to San Francisco. Walter had passed away shortly after the Volsted Act became law. I was told he had syphilis when he died but that was a rumor that I didn’t care to confirm. The wine was still flowing from the Christian Brothers Winery. I needed to establish a closer relationship to a new brother who took over for Walter.
My departure from the ranch was delayed for several days because Leif’s sixteen year old son wanted to go to San Francisco with me. I suspected that his parents were not totally comfortable sending their son to San Francisco with a single man. I told them I was happy with Andrew accompanying me if they were. When I finally said that I must be going they reluctantly relented to Andrew’s constant badgering.
On the night before we were to leave Leif sat with me under the magnificent antler chandelier as we sipped brandy, “Michael, we are entrusting our pride and joy into your care.”
“I am honored that you would do that.”
“That’s not my point. Andrew is a special child and his mother and I think he may be wanting to be like you.”
“What makes you think that?” I said with alarm.
“Well,” he stopped and seemed to struggle saying, “You know that place you and Jordan used to go. The hillside and the little pond.”
“You knew about that?”
“Yes, but that’s not the point. One of
my most trusted men saw Andrew and another boy naked up in the valley. He was out taking
pictures of new calves. He secretly snapped their picture. They were doing what you and Jordan
used to do.”
“Wait just a minute. Jordan and I went there only twice—once on my first trip to Colorado and then when you and May Lou invited us to go horseback riding before your wedding.”
“Whatever. May Lou and I have talked about this and we want Andrew to be happy and safe.”
“If he decides not to return to the ranch his mother will be devastated but she will get over it. We only care about his happiness.”
“Whoa, you are asking me to do what?”
“What we are saying—we are entrusting our precious son to your care. He has spoken about going to college in California. He has told us how much he would like to go New York, London, Paris and wherever. You should see his collection of travel material. Seriously, May Lou and I are very happy right here in Colorado. He wants to see the world and, hopefully, he will return here someday.” We got up and hugged. I could see tears in Leif’s eyes.
I was shaking. I am sure Leif could feel that. He released me and turned away to wipe his eyes. I chose not to say more and excused myself. The following morning when I entered the dining room there were red eyes around the table. Obviously Leif had informed Andrew that he could accompany me. We did not linger over breakfast and Leif’s foreman rather than Leif himself drove us to the train station in Denver. Andrew was chattering as I sat silently contemplating what I had been asked to do. I am a forty year old man with a sixteen year old Asian boy in tow. I was his uncle and his mentor in the ways of men.
We were heading to San Francisco where I would have to explain to Andrew’s real uncle, Jordan, what was going on. Leif sent Jordan a message informing him of our arrival. I decided we were not going to stay with Jordan, Heloise and the children. Jordan and Heloise met our train and insisted we stay in their Nob Hill home. When we arrived, all four of their children were there to excitedly meet their cousin. He was uninterested in them but was polite nonetheless.
After a few nights, I convinced Jordan that we should move to the Fairmount. He agreed but didn’t understand why.
I called Tom who already knew I was in town. We agreed to meet. I told him my nephew would be with me. He correctly said, “I didn’t think you had any siblings?”
I said, “Well, you’re correct, but he’s as close to being a nephew as I will ever have. He is really Jordan’s nephew but he has been entrusted to me.”
“Do his parents know about you?”
“Yes, and they think he may be like us.”
“OK, I will have Gerald, my partner, join us. Where should we meet? On second thought, I think we should eat here. I will have a small dinner sent around. That way we can drink some of the sacramental wine,” he said laughing. “See you day after tomorrow at 7pm.”