Searching for Him

Chapter 4

Thursday, September 3, 1894 – Our time in Colorado has gone by so quickly. Lewis has been a charming host – a true Western gentleman. Michael and Robbie have had one interesting experience after another. Both have become accomplished western-style riders. They persuaded me to buy them western saddles and send them back to England so they can continue to ride western in Devon. I am quite sure Malcolm will not approve but honestly I don’t care what he thinks.

I am a bit concerned that Michael and Robbie have seen a few too many intimacies between Lewis and me. I am tempted to ask for their discretion when we are traveling back. I haven’t decided if that is the right thing to do or not. I know I do not have to be concerned about Hilda even though I know she is disturbed by my relationship with Lewis. I promised him that I will write frequently.

Tomorrow we travel to Denver where Lewis’s railcar is ready for us. Lewis told me a new cooling system has been installed that does not need ice. We will hook onto a Missouri Pacific passenger train bound for St. Louis. Lief will travel with us. He will be attending Washington University in St. Louis. Lewis asked that I accompany him to the registrar. He is a fine young man who tells his father constantly he loves the ranch. His father insists that he read the law. Secretly, I think his father wants him to be governor or senator.

I was disappointed that we were leaving but I was thinking more about attending Waynesboro Academy in Plymouth. That was weeks away. As I sat in a rocking chair on the massive front porch I thought about all that we had done. One definite highlight was the trail ride we took for three days into the Rocky Mountains toward Pikes Peak. I didn’t talk about the trip very much because Mr. Lewis did not permit Robbie to go. I didn’t want him to be sad. He was weak from the diabetes but his wound was almost completely healed.

Our trail ride started on a Wednesday with the ranch foreman, Ike, leading Leif, Jordan, Lewis and me and two burros carrying equipment and food. We rode into the canyon not far from the place that Jordan and I had our picnic. The ride took us further and further into the mountains. We carefully forded rapidly flowing streams at their widest points. The first night I learned that the youngest rider gets the job of selecting a secluded spot for doing personal business and digging a hole to accommodate waste. It was not a bad job digging the hole but I also had to fill it before we rode on.

That night Jordan and I sat together across from the others near the campfire. He and I talked about getting together again. I wanted Jordan to come to England and stay with us. There were so many things I wanted to show him. The second day we moved slowly upward past abandoned silver mines with rusted equipment strewn around. We stopped for lunch at a small lake. Ike got out his fishing tackle and quickly caught three trout which he fried over the fire. They were delicious and I wanted more. My butt was sore from so much riding but Lewis said we had to keep moving. We camped at the base of Pikes Peak. It was much colder and Jordan asked if I wanted to sleep with him in his bag. Lewis thought it was a good idea since I was shivering and my lip was quivering. I slipped off my outer clothes and got into his bag in only my long johns. He got in and pulled me close to him. I remember his strong arms around me but must have fallen asleep because when my eyes opened the sun was shining. Ike had the fire going and Lewis dressed only in long johns stood close grasping his coffee cup. Jordan’s arms were still around me so I stayed quiet enjoying the closeness.

After breakfast we started our return trip along a roaring river that we did not dare cross. By mid-afternoon I recognized the Manitou Springs buildings from several weeks before. We arrived back at the ranch before dinner. Robbie wanted to know all the details which I shared with him when we were in bed that night. Jordan came in his underwear and sat on Robbie’s bed as I talked. Robbie excused himself to use the toilet so Jordan and I were alone. He put his hands on my shoulders and pulled me toward him. We kissed for a long moment. I thought my legs were going to give out. We heard Robbie so our kiss was broken.

Less than a week later we were sitting in the spacious dining room for our last dinner before we started our return trip to England. I was sad to be leaving especially since I didn’t know when I would see Jordan again. I could tell Lewis did not want Gran to leave. I sensed that if she didn’t have Robbie and me she might have stayed. She made Lewis promise to come to England. He made her promise to come back and meet him in New York. With a blushing smile she promised she would.

Three Years Later

Friday, May 14, 1897 – At long last my dear friend Lewis is coming for a visit. Michael is expected this afternoon having finished his exams at Waynesboro. He is such a handsome young man who reminds me so much of his father. I know he is excited to see his friend, Jordan, who is accompanying his father. When Michael arrives we will discuss what we want to do not only at Devon, but also in London. I am sure Michael will want to take Jordan to Cambridge and show him where he will be matriculating in the autumn. I have not heard his final decision but I know he was admitted to Kings College and Cavendish College. I prefer Kings where Malcolm attended but I know that his father was fond of his time at Cavendish. I hear Michael speaking to Morris, our houseman, in the front entry hall. I must go greet him.

Saturday, May 15, 1897 – I was so pleased to see Michael who is truly a handsome young man. We spoke throughout tea about our plans for the Lewis’ visit. He is so excited to see his friend, Jordan who he hasn’t seen in three years. I have decided that Lewis will use the room attached to Malcolm’s since Malcolm is in India on business for the East India Company. His room will be convenient to my room. I can’t believe what a sweet man he is compared to Malcolm. It has been more than a year since he and I spent two wonderful weeks in New York and Newport, Rhode Island. He asked me if I would marry him but I told him that just wasn’t possible. He agreed that a liaison was an alternative that he was comfortable with. Michael informed me that he and Jordan would be using the same room which was not his usual room. He said his room was too small and asked Morris to move a second bed into what I call the summer room, which has flowery wallpaper. The decor doesn’t seem masculine enough for two strapping young men.

As Gran and I sat in the drawing room waiting I remember three years ago when Gran took Robbie and me into her confidence on the trip from St. Louis to New York. She explained that she and Lewis were good friends. She explained that grandfather would not be pleased so she asked us to keep her secret. Both Robbie and I had observed their frequent touches and smiles. I would never do anything that would hurt her so I promised. Robbie seemed to feel similarly. The conversation was almost forgotten with all that went on getting back to England and getting started at Waynesboro Academy. As Mr. Cook hoped, I excelled in all my tutored subjects. I struggled in my second year when chemistry was required. I was tutored by a 6th Form proctor who demanded more than money to help me. I was not afraid to do what he asked but I was angry that he threatened to tell my advisor if I mentioned a word about the sexual favors he demanded. He was not the only sex partner I had at Waynesboro but he was the most unpleasant.

I was unsure what Jordan would be like after our being apart for three years. He sent mailed me a picture of himself in his athletic sweater at the University of Colorado. He had finished his second year and told his father he was studying to become a doctor when really he was preparing to teach. He wrote me that whenever he could he acted in school dramas. He told me the names of the plays in his infrequent letters. He told me how much he wanted to go to London to see a new play The Importance of Being Earnest by the discredited playwright, Oscar Wilde. I had heard about the author in our lectures on the arts at Waynesboro but knew nothing of the content of the play.

From the moment Lewis and Jordan arrived plans became fluid. Lewis insisted we go to London as soon as possible because he had business to attend to relating to making a major land purchase for an English syndicate. Gran did not object and rang the Hotel Claridge which had reopened after a complete reconstruction. She spoke to the reservations manager and requested two suites. I correctly presumed that she and Lewis would be together. When she told us the arrangement neither Jordan nor I showed any surprise.

On their first night we dressed in evening wear for cocktails and dinner. Jordan was absolutely elegant in his tuxedo as was Lewis. Gran was wearing a new gown that she told me had arrived from Paris. Morris and Hilda made sure that the silver was polished to a mirror finish. The crystal sparkled similarly as the candle light reflected off of their surfaces. We stood in the anteroom holding our martini cocktails which Morris had perfectly blended. I found the taste enticing but Jordan whispered that martinis are an acquired taste and he preferred beer. I thought that beer was for common tradesmen. He told me beer was the preferred drink of students in Colorado. He spoke in glowing terms about a beer brewed in Colorado called Coors, made near the university. Gran and Lewis were talking quietly in the corner intent on not having Jordan and me hear their conversation. I opened the ceiling to floor glass doors that led out to the veranda overlooking the garden. We had the same view from out of our bedroom window.

I said, “Jordan, do you know what they’re discussing?”

He said, “I suspect father is trying to convince Mrs. Walker to accompany him not only to London but to Paris and Venice. I know his return voyage is from Venice not Liverpool. You know father and your grandmother have been having a liaison for some time.”

“Yes, I was first aware when we were at the ranch three years ago.”

“Well, father told me it actually started in Chicago before you came to the ranch. According to father your Gran will not divorce your grandfather. Father thinks he can convince her if they have time together.”

“It is obvious they are more than friends. No English gentleman would fawn over a woman like your father does my grandmother. He needs to be careful when we go to London because grandfather has many friends in the banking business. You know he is in the House of Lords.”

“I think father is aware. I know he would do nothing to hurt Mrs. Walker.” Morris rang the small crystal bell signaling dinner. When we walked into the dining room Morris directed Jordan to sit across from me as Gran and Lewis took seats at the end of the table. Morris decanted a claret and proceeded to serve an aromatic mushroom soup. That was followed by lamb, new potatoes and fresh green asparagus spears.

Lewis’s face showed his displeasure with the meat. Gran said firmly, “Lewis, before you object taste the rack of lamb.”

“I don’t know.” He cut a small bite and put it in his mouth. After swallowing he said, “OK, it has a pleasant flavor but philosophically I am against eating lamb.”

Gran said, “Lewis, you are going to eat many things you aren’t used to. Food is more than beef steak and potatoes.” Jordan and I looked across the table and smiled at each other. Jordan didn’t have the same reaction to the lamb that his father did. He commented to Gran how delicious everything was including the dark chocolate cake that was served for desert. Because neither Jordan nor I smoked tobacco we didn’t join Lewis for brandy which he shared with Gran. We went to our room to continue our discussion of our upcoming trip to London.

The following morning as Jordan and I sat having breakfast I suggested that we ride around the estate. He said, “Western or English?”

“Western, of course, in your honor. We have my saddle and Robbie’s here in the tack room. Our groom will get them saddled if you are willing to ride out for a picnic.”

“You mean our kind of picnic.”

“We’ll see. It depends on the weather. You know it rains often.”

We finished and went to our room. I got into my riding jodhpurs but I wore my Marshall Field & Co. cowboy boots which still fit. Jordan could not fit into my jodhpurs so I rang for Morris who found a pair of pants that grandfather had when he was younger. He wore my riding boots. We were an eclectic looking pair as we stepped out toward the paddock. Our groom had secured a picnic basket behind my saddle. I tied a wrapped blanket behind Jordan’s saddle. It was cloudy and cool. I suspected our picnic would be short if, at all.

Jordan commented, “Michael these are beautiful animals. Do you have more like this?

“There are approximately twelve which are used mainly for fox hunting. Have you ever jumped?”

“I have jumped across small streams at home but never over culverts and fences. Do you do that?”

“Yes, Robbie and I were taught to jump when we were younger. I tried it once with my western saddle and it crushed my willie and balls so that was the last time I tried that.”

We did not see Gran and Lewis as we rode off on the road that led across the estate. After a short distant I dismounted and opened a gate that led to a trace along a stone fence line. Jordan said, “Mike, any idea when this stone fence was built?”

“I never thought about it but I suspect it was before 1750 when our family was granted this land by King George II. It was he that bestowed the Viscount title on a great grandfather.”

“Shit, you mean your family has lived here that long?”

“Yes.” We rode quietly along the path that I knew well. We watched the farmers finishing the harvest of the winter oats in some fields and preparing another field for planting. We rode through a forested area and saw a doe and her fawns in the distance. Jordan pretended to raise a rifle to his shoulder and shoot. His mouthed sound frightened the deer into the deeper forest. As we rode in the forest I noticed sunlight streaming through the leaf canopy. When we emerged the sun was bright and warming.

We rode through a small hamlet where several women were hanging clothes on the line. After a couple of hours Jordan suggested we take a break. I encouraged him to stay in his saddle for a few more minutes. We were rewarded by a small lake where the reeds grew around the water. A sunny hillside was my destination. As we dismounted Jordan said, “A perfect place for a picnic and a swim.” We tied the horses. He unrolled the blanket as I untied the basket from behind my saddle. Before I set the basket down he was taking off his boots getting ready for a swim. I told him to expect cool water but he didn’t seem to care.

He stood in all his naked glory before me waiting for me to undress. He was muscled in the right places with light brown hair covering his chest. His manhood hung heavily between his legs as he had his hands firmly on his hips. He said, “Hurry up, I want to see if you have grown any? As I pulled my underwear off he said, “OK, big enough.” I straightened myself to extend myself for his pleasure. He grabbed my hand and we walked to the water’s edge.

My feet touched the cold water and I drew back, “I think it’s too cold. I may shrink up to nothing.” He laughed and pulled me forward before we both fell forward. He swam vigorously as did I, to try to drive off the cold. In only minutes we were out of the water. The sun was warm on our skins as we stood looking at each other. As he had done in our bedroom in Colorado he reached forward with both hands on my shoulder and drew me into a kiss. We stayed attached as my willie grew. By the time we separated we were both stiff. I led him to our blanket and we lay down with our hands behind our heads. I asked the first question: “Have you been with other guys?”

He turned to me, “Only one, my paranoid roommate, who panicked every time I touched him. He let me do him but he refused to do me even though he liked to watch me cum. Not very exciting. What about you?”

“Some. When you go to an all boys public school there is a good bit of mutual masturbation. Not much more except with one detestable tutor I had who made me suck him as partial payment for his help. I didn’t mind but he was overweight and had a bad smell in his privates.”

“Sounds unpleasant.”

“Only happened a few times but I managed to get a good enough grade in chemistry to avoid him.” I reached over to Jordan and turned his face so I could kiss him again. My hand took hold of his willie and he drew in a deep breath. “I’m ready if you are.”

“Go for it.” That was all I needed to hear as I put my mouth on his dick. He took in another deep breath. “I know I won’t last. It’s been too long.” He was right because in no more than two minutes his hips bucked up and semen was filling my mouth. I kept my mouth in place and then began to move up and down. He was whispering then screaming for me to stop the torture. I kept going until he went soft and his breathing was slowing. He finally said, “You sadistic bastard. Will you do that again?”

“I’m going to show you something else I learned at school.” I lifted his legs up. Jordan said, “I’ve heard about men fucking. Do you know how to do this?”

“Yes, I have had it done to me and have done it. I will be gentle because the first time can be painful.” I pulled a small jar of Vaseline petroleum jelly from my jacket pocket.

“You planned taking the virginity of this innocent American lad?”

“Let’s just say I wanted to be prepared if the opportunity presented itself.” We both laughed. I proceeded to grease my finger and touch his anal hole. He jumped. As I pushed against the resistance he relaxed and began to coo like a dove. My own willie was dripping like a faucet. I rubbed lubricant over my willie. I lined up behind Jordan and pushed forward slowly.

“Ouch,” came loudly from Jordan. I stopped and waited. Again I pushed and this time a softer “Ouch” came out of his mouth. I knew I was in past his sphincter. I waited as his hand clutched my hips. I pushed forward and knew I hit his love knot because he squeezed my hips. I slowly moved in and out. I knew I could not hold off my climax very long. But I wanted it to last as long as I could. I reach down and kissed Jordan softly not wanting to pull out too far. He grabbed my butt cheeks and pulled me more into him. I had thought about this moment for three years and now it was here. The sex was better than I could have hoped. He said, “Mike, let loose I want to feel your warm juice in me.” Not more than a minute later I felt my quiver and my climax. With his hands on my hips he moved seductively causing me glorious pain.

I collapsed on his chest as he held my head kissing me and said, “I want to do you.”

“I suggest we eat lunch and let each of us recharge. I will put the food out. I suggest you go to the pool and expel my juice. Sometimes if you let it stay inside, your bowels will become loose. He did as I suggested and washed his rear end before returning for lunch.

When he returned I said, “Jordan, I imagined how fucking would feel but it was ten times better than I expected. Let’s have lunch.”

“What are we having?”

“It’s called a plowman’s lunch with hard bread, cheese, and ham. I brought along two large bottles of beer. There are some spiced apples for a finish.” We ate quietly and drank enjoying the cool breeze of mid-afternoon.

“We can have intercourse tonight in the comfort of our bed. Are you concerned that Gran or your father are suspicious?”

“Truly, I think my father is so enamored with your Gran that I don’t think he notices anything we’re doing. Your grandmother is more astute. Do you care if she knows?”

“I do care because I have a great deal at stake – this estate and my inheritance. But I want you to be my companion if you want to be.”

“It’s too early for me to decide, but I will share a secret. I don’t plan to return to the States with my father. I plan to see if I can study theater and perform in London. We can see each other as often as you want to.” He paused to take a bite of the spiced apples. “Anyway, father won’t care because he has what he wanted. Did you know Leif finished the law course in St. Louis.?He has returned to sit for the bar in Denver and manage the ranch while father is gone. He told me as soon as he becomes a lawyer he is going to try to get elected sheriff in our county. I will not be surprised if he doesn’t become governor someday. That is not a life I want.”

“Whoa, did I tell you I own a flat in London already? That is where we will stay after we spend a couple of days keeping up appearances at the Claridge.

NEXT CHAPTER