We left the Jersey Shore five weeks ago. Since then, we worked continuously and got only one short breather when the circus played three days in Cleveland. I left the horses with George and Avery, and took a night train home to see Mother and Father. Thad wrote me that Mother could not get over her cold, but I was shocked when I saw her. It was a hot day, but she was wrapped in a light wool sweater and said there was a chill in the air. Father was standoffish when he found out that I wasn’t staying home for good.
I had written to Molly to let her know I would be home, but I didn’t get a response. She, however, walked into our yard as Mother, Father and I sat in the wooden rockers enjoying the evening. I was half-asleep and struggled to make polite conversation. Mother excused herself. Father followed her into the house. Molly mentioned mother’s appearance as soon as they stepped away.
Molly’s mood suggested that she had something on her mind but noticing my tired eyes she didn’t wait too long make her point.
“Seth who is the woman you’re seeing?”
“No one.”
“You’ve found someone in the circus. I knew it the night we had dinner. I don’t care, I just want to know.”
“Molly, first it is none of your business. Second, I work so hard that a liaison with a woman is impossible, believe me.”
“But you did earlier, right?”
“Why does it matter? It may have happened, but it’s over and she is gone.”
“Where is she?”
The conversation made me mad. I was tired and pushed myself out of the rocker giving Molly the impression that the conversation was over.
Molly stayed seated. “Seth, I really like you, and I am happy that you are working in the circus. Your trip to Europe must have been fantastic. Would you tell me more about it?
I sat down and felt the heat in my face subside. I told Molly about the wonderful New Years Eve party at Wolf’s chateau, about the interesting people I met in the country as we selected horses. I shared with her the nightmare of the Atlantic storm. She listened attentively, occasionally asking for more details. I admitted that I saw Raina in Hamburg without giving her the details.
“So she didn’t really disappear.”
“Molly, she is in Europe and likely to stay there. There is nothing between us.”
I felt strange saying the words because Wolf was the person I really missed. I could feel Wolf and me with our bodies entwined at the chateau. I remembered for the first time in quite a while the romantic candle-lighted dinners in the glorious dining hall. I smiled as I remembered the Inspector and the sauna. Molly noticed my distraction and got up to leave. She stepped toward me expecting a hug. I half-heartedly acknowledged her desire. I watched her walk toward the gate and disappear into the soft, cool air of evening.
I caught the first train for Cleveland. Sitting on my hard rattan bench I opened a letter from Wolf that had arrived at the farm just a day or two before. Mother hesitated as she handed it to me as we got up from the breakfast table. I read:“Dear Seth, It seems like months since we spent the holidays together. I think about your work and have decided to make you a business proposal. What if you and I set up a company to import horses from Belgium to the United States. I plan to travel to the United States to discuss the plan with you. I will find your location when I arrive about October 15. Sincerely, Wolf.” I really wanted to see Wolf but I wasn’t sure it was good for him to come around the circus. I sat with my head back because it was very hot, and the humidity matched the temperature.
We moved from Cleveland into New York heading toward Jamestown. That night drenched in sweat, I decided that I would sleep under 86 until the heat wave broke. I hadn’t ridden outside this season. The weather had been cooperative since we left Philadelphia. There had been just enough rain to keep the dust down and the cool nights made sleeping in the Pullman comfortable. I pulled my blanket out of the box and stretched out.
I thought about Molly and I thought about Wolf. I didn’t love Molly but she was a nice person. If I ever wanted to settle down on the farm, she would make a good wife and mother. Being with Wolf would be forever complicated not to mention the questions that would be spoken and unspoken about two men together. Mother’s health concerned me. She had assured me she would see a doctor. The giant wagon above me swayed back and forth as we made the short haul to Jamestown. Creaks and the groans from the massive under gear and the three hundred pound St. Mary’s wheels securely planted on the deck gave me a pleasant feeling. There was no moon to light our way through the tunnel of night.
We lurched slightly, and I heard an unfamiliar sound. I listened intently, hearing steel touch steel.
The train slowed fifteen minutes later and came to a dead stop. I assumed that we were waiting for a freight train to pass. The night sounds of the crickets chirping and the insects buzzing filled the blackness. The mosquitoes began to congregate near my ears. I swatted and batted hoping they would disappear.
I heard voices and boots crunching on the gravel. A chill ran through my body. I knew I was in the wrong place. I scooted on my butt to stash my old blanket in the box. I listened for the footsteps, trying to decide which side of the train the intruders were coming from. I felt the car shutter as someone swung themselves onto the deck. I was trapped. I sensed two sets of feet on the car gunnel to my right. The footsteps resonated through my body as they used the car’s protective lip as their bridge to my hiding place. I planned my escape when the steps stopped at the right front corner of the wagon. I smelled tobacco smoke but heard no voices.
I heard a motor in the distance, which became louder. Moments later, a truck stopped beside the flatcar. I pulled myself between the front wheels and tried to stop breathing. Box after box was loaded from the truck into the back of 86. I heard scratching and scraping over my head. The noise stopped.
“Pull the son-of-a-bitch out now,” someone whispered.
Two bodies scrambled in my direction on both sides of the gunnels. I grabbed the undercarriage and pulled as hard as I could. I jammed my head into a brake block and groaned in pain.
I sprung up not having the vaguest idea where I was going. As the train stretched and lurched forward I panicked. My hands were my eyes as I moved with the train’s motion. I could trip over a snubbing post and end up on the ground.
“He’s on this side. Stop, bastard!” a harsh voice yelled. I felt my way up the side of the next wagon, which I recognized by the shelving boards attached to the side. I jumped the abyss between two cars. I only heard the crunching of steel on steel as the train picked up speed. I sensed the corner of the wagon and decided to climb to the top of the wagon. If I got to the top and stayed flat, maybe they wouldn’t find me. I felt for the pull ring then ran my hand up the corner hoping to feel step plates that lead to the drivers perch. I found what I knew was there. Still no voices but I knew they were coming. The wagon swayed as I tried to the find the next step. I slipped and fell back with my boot hitting the deck with a thud. I reached up again, hoping to find the step. It was there. I stepped up onto the wheel and pulled with all my strength. My body moved upward. A sharp pain shot into my right shoulder and everything went black.
Doc is sitting beside me and I am in my bunk. I see his lips moving but I can’t hear his words. He takes my hand in his and slaps my limp wrist firmly with his right hand. The sun is shining through a slit in the drawn window shade.
“Seth, don’t move. Lie still.”
I try to move my lips, but they are glued together. I try again. The throbbing in my head closes my eyes.
“What happened?” I whisper.
“Looks like you fell off of the train. You are pretty lucky. You found a soft landing spot.”
“I didn’t fall.”
“Lie still,” Doc quietly ordered me.
“I couldn’t have fallen. Someone chased me, hit me, and then pushed me off. I’m sure I didn’t fall.”
Doc listened, felt the back of my head, and frowned.
“Seth, you’ve a huge contusion on your head… your explanation makes more sense.”
His face tightened up as he brushed my hair out of my face.
“The fellows who found you in a swamp about five miles outside of town said you fell off of the train. Your description is a more logical explanation for the lump on the back of your head. Any idea who?”
“You guess,” I said sarcastically.
“Stay in bed today. I am concerned that you might have a concussion. I will ask a few questions.”
As Doc started to walk away, I whispered, “If it isn’t too obvious, look inside Wagon 86 when it’s spotted. I can almost guarantee that there will be activity around the wagon today.”
Throughout the day, I wondered why I had decided to sleep under 86 last night. I was irritated at myself. We were so close to Canada, I should have known. I also wondered if Haskins had worked so hard to get himself killed. I became marked after we started working together. Ralph and his gang became convinced that I knew something.
Our porter, Robert, checked on me every hour or so after Doc left. I got the feeling that my being in bed or just being in the Pullman disturbed his routine. He couldn’t make up my bunk or the one above me. He didn’t say much but his abrupt strut and stares suggested his annoyance.
The day gave me a chance to examine my space. The linen on my bunk was more yellow than white. The afternoon sunlight warmed the stale air making the smell of horsemen more pungent. I cringed as I thought about the air quality in last year’s coach. I got hot and threw off the sheet to reveal my scratches and bruises. I tried to get up, and Robert scurried to my side.
“Master Seth, Doctor said to stay in bed. Do you need to use the toilet? I’ll help you if you do.”
I fell back on the pillows, and slipped off to sleep again. I stirred later and noticed that the sheets were tightly tucked around me. I realized that someone sat beside me. I moved slightly and felt pain. I opened my eyes to see the evening light illuminating George’s face. He wiped his eyes with a soiled bandanna. I instinctively reached out my free hand to comfort him.
“George, I’m going to be fine in a couple of days. Can you and Avery handle things until then?”
He was unable to speak until he said,“Seth, I want to kill those guys.” He started to get up.
“George, don’t do anything right now except protect yourself and Avery. Remember that little house you want to have someday.”
He gave me a small smile.“See you later, we’ll take care of things.”
Five minutes later, Doc came in with a plate of food. I had not eaten breakfast or lunch. But until he handed me a plate with ham, bread, mashed potatoes, and cold slaw, I hadn’t realized how hungry I was.
“Hungry?”
“Yes.”
“Have you tried to walk?” he asked.
“No, no place I needed to go.”
He smiled and sat down as I pulled myself up and leaned against the end of the bed. After I ate for a bit, he set the plate on the floor and told me to swing my legs over the edge of the bed. He tested my reflexes by thumping my knees and my elbows with a little red rubber hammer. After the examination, he let me finish eating.
“Your hunch was correct, but walls have ears.”
I shook my head in agreement. Doc helped me dress for a trip to the toilet and a short walk outside. He loudly said that he wanted to test my equilibrium and steadied me as I took a step or two. I was a little light-headed at first and I took each step slowly. He stayed near me and said there didn’t seem to be damage beyond cuts and bruises. I already had told him that I didn’t have blood in my urine.
We walked slowly along Pullman. The fresh evening air of northern New York felt soft and smooth on my skin.
“Son, you are a very lucky fellow. How you found the only soft spot in one hundred yards. I don’t know. God must have been watching out after you.”
“If He really is on my side, I wish He’d stop Ralph before I really get hurt.”
“I mean it,” Doc explained. “There were boulders and jagged rocks all around where you fell, but you were found in a bog filled with water and pine needles. The elements cushioned your fall. The situation around 86…well, I watched all day without being too obvious. Ralph was by only once. Some fellow unlocked one of the boxes and got tools out. I asked him what the wagon carried, and he opened the back door. The red section seats were out except for a few broken ones. I got inside and noticed that the floor was not level. The inside seemed shorter than the outside.
“The guy and I talked for a while so it appeared we were just shooting the breeze. I will watch tonight as we tear down. I do not want to draw attention to myself.”
Doc brought me back to my bunk.
“Seth, an incredible new act started today,” he said. “I saw them this afternoon over the center ring.”
“What are they called?”
“I didn’t catch it. You’ll see them soon. What fantastic aerialists!”
I knew she had come back.
Three days later when we played in Pittsburgh, I got a chance to see Raina, Rudi and the others perform. They were flawless. The audience reaction was genuine appreciation for their artistry. The straw crowd was on their feet three or four times. I stood in the shadows when Raina and the troop flew through the curtain in glorious new costumes. Shimmering regal scarlet capes with sparkling gold collars flowed behind them as they exited like birds with their wings tips brushing the ground.
I prepared myself for whatever reaction came my way from the steely-blue eyed German lady. I had seen her at meals, but she never acted as if she knew anyone except performers. The royalty of the circus would not relate to commoners like me. Our eyes met once near the end of a quick supper on a muddy lot in Danville, Illinois. She could not disguise her sadness. After that encounter, I knew we would talk, but she would have to make the first move.
Doc stayed on after July 1 because Dr. Monk had not returned. He monitored my recuperation and gave me details of the activity around 86. I never went close to that wagon. I did everything I could to avoid even pulling it to the train. He told me that he was sure a load of booze had come in from Canada the night of the accident.
He told me that he saw a Rawlings truck like the one we saw in Camden pull along side 86 one night before the big tent was struck. He said that the performance had ended and the roustabouts were breaking down the seats in the tent. Then he saw two men load a dozen or so heavy boxes out of 86 onto the truck. Within minutes of their departure, 86 was pulled into the tent and the seats loaded.
I asked Doc if he had ever observed any other people watching 86. He said that he not noticed anyone else. If men from the Bureau of Investigation were around, they kept a low profile.
A few days after the accident, I went back to driving. I pulled 86 rarely, but Williams directed me to hitch it as we left Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I felt nervous as the wagon started to roll. This wagon had almost gotten me killed twice. I had mixed feelings as I sat atop of it.
We loaded off the lot in Mattoon, Illinois in late August, five days after we closed in Chicago. There was a straw house for both afternoon and night performances. For late summer, the temperature was pleasant, and a gentle breeze blew across the lot.
I drove only six horses that night became one of my swings pulled up lame. I drove into the tent, and pulled out a wagon full of electric chandeliers and electrical gear. Avery rode along, but George stayed behind. On our return trip with me on the right wheel horse and Avery on the left, we pulled up short in front of the main entrance. There were about six teams ahead of us waiting for loads. Avery slid down to search for George. A three-quarter moon gave us plenty of light. It was barely eleven-thirty and the big tent had been struck and was almost baled. No one felt hassled.
I was talking to myself when I noticed George waving me toward 86. George stood beside the wagon. I moved the horses toward him. The site of the gleaming numerals made me shutter.
“Where have you been?”
“Let’s take her,” he replied.
Even though I didn’t like the wagon I thought of no good reason not to take her because she was closed up. I heard a chain and draw bar clatter across the gravel as I swung around to the pole. I slid to the ground and noticed a person sitting on the box. I assumed it was Avery. I positioned the horses, hooked the chains, and then threw the lines upward. Avery deftly caught them. I climbed up top, and George stayed with the leads to walk them out until they were stretched.
I took the lines. They were in order, something Avery rarely did right. Before I gave the commands to move out, I felt the wagon shift slightly. I looked over my right shoulder and detected a massive gray shadow. One of the elephant handlers had positioned his bull behind us. The giant creature had a donut contraption chained onto her head. She was ready to push.
“Ready,” I shouted in George’s direction.
He stepped away and the team pulled at the tugs and the bull pushed. The start was smooth, and the bull stayed with us up a small incline that led to the street. Up on the street, I took a deep breath about the time that I noticed the creamy, smooth hand of my brakeman protruding from a large flannel cuff. That hand did not belong to Avery. A few minutes later, George and Avery climbed up top as we rolled along the street. The town was quiet except for the clunking of the heavy wheels on their greased hubs and axles. The hooves hitting the concrete pavement broadcast an eerie rhythm in the night.
I took my eyes off the team and turned toward our passenger who had handed the brake stick to George.
“Whose your friend?” I asked George.
He kept his eyes on the horses. I looked again at the rider’s face.
“Raina,” I said softly.
“Yah.”
“Shouldn’t you be on the third unit?”
“Yah.”
“You’ll miss the train if you ride with us.”
“Maybe zo,” she said.
We rolled on but the silence was awkward.
” I vanted to see vhat you really did.”
Her accent was strong but her words easy to understand. I slowed the team making the ride last just as long as I could. We didn’t have to stop and we were able to pull right up to the run.
George and Avery climbed down. They detached the chains and mounted the wheelers. “We’ll take the horses back to the car,” George said. “I don’t think there is anything else to bring.”
I knew if there was. George could handle it easily. What startled me was George’s ability to make a decision. I had never seen that before.
My meeting with Raina was her idea, but George had to plan and execute it. I was pleased. I started to climb down, and she agilely followed. I had planned to hold her hand but she beat me to the ground. Disappointed I rationalized that there were too many people watching for me to be too gentlemanly.
“Raina, I’ll walk you to your coach if you’d like.”
“Later. I vant to vatch vhat they do.”
The pull up team had been unhitched and the pull over team of white Percherons was ready to slowly move the wagon over the top of the two remaining empty flat cars. Since they were working on the right side, we walked down the left side of the train. We rounded the end of the runs and kept pace with 86 as the pole man guided the hulking wagon filled with seats and other cargo into place. We stood in the shadows.
“Seth, some-vone kilt my fader and they finally succeeded. Some-vone on des show.” She paused. “I vant to find out vhy tey tricked him.”
I measured my words carefully because I did not want her involved in the Ralph business. “Are you sure? And what do you mean tricked?”
“Yah, I’m sure. No one seems to care. Oh, people presst zeir sympathy, especially performers who knew him. But never vonce has Mr. Rawlings or any of de bosses said a word. Zay know de person, I know.”
“What do you mean ‘they tricked him’?”
She didn’t answer immediately and she started to cry. She raised her cuff to brush away tears.
“Zay put dope in our trunks and fader found it. I didn’t know dis ’til Unkle Carl told me. He said zay tretened fader. Fader didn’t tell no one but zay kilt him anyway. My fader never minded anybody’s business. Police never came to vestigate vhen his rig vas cut in Los Angeles. Maybe zay vill now he’s died.”
I told her that the police would not get involved investigating an accident that took place in California almost a year ago, especially when the flyer fell again and died in Europe.
“If zay von’t I vill do something.”
“I care. I’ll help if I can. But looking could be dangerous. I mean very dangerous. There is more to this situation than just the death of your father.”
She pulled her hand away obviously irritated.
Wagon 86 was unhooked and the crew worked on the wagon ahead of her. I beckoned Raina toward me and with my finger to my lips and stepped further back into the tree grove that grew next to the tracks. I pointed out two men climbing up onto the flat car where 86 rested. One man looked like Ralph, but the moon hid behind a bank of clouds so I wasn’t sure. We waited silently as the wagon ahead of 86 was slowly pulled into place and choked. Voices were muffled. Pounding hammers intermittently shattered the blackness as wagon 88 was slowly pulled up and choked. With that wagon secure, the crew drew 86 up to the end of the flatcar, set the chocks, and moved on in a matter of three minutes.
The two men we observed climbing up on the deck stayed behind. I moved to Raina’s left ear to whisper. I drew in her naturally sweet aroma as I spoke.
“See the man on the left leaning against the wheel?”
She moved her head acknowledging my words.
“I believe he had something to do with my accidents and your father’s accident.”
I could feel her eyes pierce into me. “What do you mean accidents?”
“Two weeks ago in New York, they threw me off of the train again.”
“Vho?”
“I’m not sure exactly, but I am sure Ralph ordered it.”
“Vhy?”
“I really don’t know. I would tell you if I could. I think Ralph thinks I know something I don’t need to know.”
“Do you?”
“Now I do. But I didn’t when they tried to kill me last summer? What else did you Uncle Carl tell you about the dope?”
“Nothing ’cept fader found it in our trunks vhen ve came to U.S.A. two years now. You know more?”
“I do not want you to get involved. The federal police are handling this. I think they are trying to trap Ralph. He is very smart.”
We heard the whistle from one of the engines. Three short blasts.
“They’re going, and you’re here…”
“Yes we are,” someone said behind us. Raina and I both jumped simultaneously. We turned to see a big tall man, maybe six feet tall, step toward us.
“Don’t move; I think we are on the same side.”
“Jacobs from the Bureau of Investigation.”
He spoke loudly and I instinctively put my finger to my lips.
“They’re up top,” I whispered.
Jacobs came closer.
“What are they doing? Can you tell?” he said.
The silhouettes of the two men were in front of the wagon.
“I can’t tell.”
“You’re Newman, right? So who’s the other guy?”
I didn’t want to create any more suspicion.
“My assistant, George.”
“We may need you to help us get this guy, Ralph, in St. Louis.”
He proceeded to tell us of a plan to entrap Ralph with booze buyers who would propose a purchase while the circus was performing. The details seemed pretty loose to me, and we just listened.
“What if I need to find you?” I asked Jacobs.
“Look in the cookhouse.”
Raina and I watched Ralph and his companion climb down on our side of the flatcar and walk toward the end of the section. I knew there was still twenty to thirty minutes before the section was ready to be pulled away.
We walked in the opposite direction toward the cages and stock cars.
“What are we going to do? There’s no women’s car with this section.”
She seemed unconcerned as she reached out to take my hand which was strong but rough with calluses. She squeezed my fingers together but didn’t speak.
I was concerned about Raina getting to her coach. She acted like we were just out for a stroll as we walked slowly past the packed up circus, resting briefly before it would move again to rise again tomorrow.
“There!”
She pointed to a trunk wagon filled with props and performers’ costumes.
“I have the key. We’ll just stay in there.”
She pulled me along and we climbed on top of the flat and worked our way along the gunnel to the backdoor of Wagon 146. I saw the outline of a flat circular padlock that hung down. Raina unbuttoned her shirt, reached for a small chain with several keys on it, slipped the chain loop over her head, and handed it to me. I reached for the lock, inserted the bigger key, and turned it and heard a gentle click. I unclipped the lock and handed the keys back to her.
I put my hands firmly around her waist, and she sprang up. In a few seconds, a soft glow spilled onto my shirt. Raina was silhouetted by the candle behind her. She moved wardrobe trunks and other gear around. I was concerned that the light might reveal our secret place to the railroad detectives that walked the train.
Finally, she waved me inside. I hoisted myself up using my arms to swing my seat up to the threshold. I stood up and pulled the bottom half of the door closed and stepped back to close the top half. I stepped carefully over the boxes that held trapeze rigging and climbing ladders. Six trunks, all royal blue, were pushed to the side of the wagon. Buckets and stools were stacked in the corners.
I felt dirty the midst of shiny satin capes and sparkling chrome aerial bars wrapped in clean white gauze. I was covered with the grime and dust. I wanted to wash but there wasn’t any water.
Raina also wanted me out of my filthy clothes.
“Seth, I’ve made a place for us. Put this robe on. It’s father’s.”
Three blasts from the engine’s whistle, a gentle hiss, and a clunk, clunk, clunk followed in rapid succession. We were leaving. I pulled off my boots and socks, and stood up to unbutton my shirt. Raina came over to help me.
Like the mother of a five-year old who had been out in the dirt pile, she quickly moved from my top to my bottom. She boldly unhitched my belt and unbuttoned my pants. I slid my pants and the union johns down to my ankles and stepped out of them at the same time.
The candle glow highlighted her defined but soft profile. I stood before her naked. She grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the candle. She had set out a metal wash pan half-filled with water. The water moved in the tin pan from side to side as the wagon rocked rhythmically as the train moved.
We picked up speed, and the sloshing water became more vigorous. The water was cool and refreshing as she washed my face and neck. She raised my arms and the pungent scent of a man’s work spread. I tried to escape her steely grip but she washed under my arms and wiped my chest. There was no question that I was excited. She went no further and handed me the cloth to continue. She turned away and moved slowly toward the pile of blankets and robes she had arranged on the floor.
I finished washing, slipped into her father’s robe, and followed her to the soft cushion on the floor.
“Vhy did my fader have to be so stubborn?”
I bent down and sat beside her.
“Your father’s knowledge made him appear dangerous to their operation. Maybe he threatened to tell Mr. Rawlings?”
“You di’n’t know my fader. He vas circus. He wouldn’t have reported anything to anyone. He told us that if the police vere meant to know they vould have to find out on their own.”
“He had his disagreements with Mr. Rawlings and his partners over contracts, didn’t he?” I asked.
“Yes, but ve vere the biggest attraction dat zay had.”
“Why did you leave in the middle of the season? Remember, I was banged up when you left so I heard nothing.”
“Do you like the new act with Tomasini? she asked. “He’s pretty good and a real quick study.”
I reached across and put my hand behind her neck and pulled her into a kiss. It was long, warm kiss. I got closer and felt her robe fall away from her firm little breasts. I felt her hand loosen the belt of my robe.
As the train swayed rhythmically, we were swallowed in love-making. Each time was smoother, each time I felt more her equal.