As dawn’s light seeped into our nest through the doorway cracks the train crawled onto the railroad trestle that spanned the Mississippi River. The wheels made weird sounds high above the churning brown water. Raina and I held onto each other. The train inched along but when it stopped I kissed Raina one last time, got up, and dressed. I pushed the wagon door open and went into the brilliant morning light.
“I vant revenge, I mean it,” Raina said. Don’t leave me out.” I acknowledged her statement with a quick glance and was anguished by her declaration.
“I know you do and so do I but we have to be careful because these are mean, bad people.”
“Do you plan zu do anything?”
“Yes, but how will I let you know since we can’t talk around the circus.”
“Have your Black boy send me notes. They won’t notice.”
I swung to the ground as she stood at the door with her blond hair slightly messed and her robe untied. She smiled, brushed me a kiss, and closed the door. Raina was going to stay inside until the wagon was spotted and there would be activity to disguise her escape. As I walked along the train I thought about our lovemaking. She was soft and smooth except for her hands. She made love with determination not passion like I experienced with Wolf. But she seemed so vulnerable and so much a little girl. Living with Raina would be difficult if not impossible. I smiled as I jumped down wondering when Wolf and I would be together again. After last night I was sure.
I surveyed the skyline of the gateway city to the Great Plains. It was settled at the convergence of two historic rivers, the Mississippi and the Missouri. Tall buildings stood where Indian teepees once were pitched. The morning air heralded another hot day. The route card said we were scheduled in St. Louis for three days. I told Raina that I wanted to see her again but I really didn’t know how to make that happen.
I walked toward the stock cars and I was determined to hitch eight. We had been using six for the last week because of a gash on the lower front foreleg of my lead, Whitey. George had been salving her leg and wrapping it daily. She was ready yesterday, but we gave her one more day. I hoped she was her ready for St. Louis because I wanted Raina to see my beautiful team. They were royal as they pranced together, pulling cages or canvas bales. They held their heads high and performed like they were on parade.
I climbed up into our stock car and found neither Avery nor George. Other grooms were busy. I stood momentarily looking at eight alternating white and black rumps. Even in the dim morning light, they were a beautiful sight. As I moved forward to check on Whitey’s leg, there was commotion behind me. I turned to see two men pulling out a horse shoot from it rack beneath the door. I watched as the heavy ramp fell to the ground. They picked up the end nearest the car and hooked it below the door’s threshold. They positioned guard rails on each side.
The routine day went predictably. I kept the big team hitched even though the heavy wagons were all spotted. I waited to spot 86 away from the main tents. The government man had told me last night that he hoped to buy booze while 86 was spotted. I was to position the wagon on the fringe of the lot to avoid injury to innocent bystanders, since agents expected scuffles.
With George and Avery’s assistance, we moved a few wagons to look busy. The other big teams unhitched as quickly as they could to get out of the heat. I didn’t want Avery and George to get suspicious, so I kept coming up with things to do until activity around #86 subsided. I drove toward it as another team of four was headed that direction.
“Let me get it,” I called out. The teamster looked at me strangely but didn’t argue.
I hitched to 86 and drove to the south perimeter of the lot near a few trees and low scrubs. George naturally asked why we were going so far, but I didn’t answer. We dropped the wagon and drove back to the horse tent. We fed and watered the team and had time to brush them before the cookhouse flag was raised. We walked slowly to breakfast and I glanced to see if anyone was moving around 86.
As the day dragged on, the temperature pushed steadily upward. Few people were visible on the lot off Market Street between Compton and Grand Avenue. Dust was stirred up by anything moving. An occasion trolley clanged down the middle of Grand immediately in front of the main entrance. I stood near the menagerie tent trying to figure out where twelve hundred people were hidding themselves to get out of the heat.
Two teams of gray Percherons pulled tanks that poured water on the dust. People trickled off the trolleys starting about two-thirty. There were only enough patrons to fill half the seats in the massive tent.
The performance started as advertised at three o’clock. I stood in the wings waving off persistent flies. The flaps were up all around the sides of the big tent making the opening spec less dramatic. The audience didn’t seem to notice that several acts were shortened. Raina’s troupe, however, performed their entire routine but couldn’t rouse the audience out of their seats with the double fly away. The performance ended before five. As I walked away from the tent Avery approached me waving an envelope. “Seth, Mr. Wells told George to find you.”
“Where is George?”
“He asked me to find you before you left the lot.” I took the letter and told Avery that I would be gone for the night. I told George earlier. He stood waiting for me to open the envelope. I tore the end off of the message. The handwritten message was brief, “Seth, I am at the new Jefferson Hotel on Grand Avenue Room 1204. Come when you can. WDG.” My look must have radiated confusion because Avery said, “Something wrong?”
“No, just complicated. You go get your supper. See you tomorrow.” As he stepped away I had to rethink my plan. Originally, I told Raina we would meet after the show and go to dinner in downtown St. Louis but I never sent her the message. That was good but after last night the thought of being with Wolf was appealing in a different way. She was soft and muscular as was Wolf and in an odd way Wolf was like Raina in that they were both determined but vulnerable. I decided to go see Wolf.
I walked toward the trolley on Grand Avenue. I would still carry forward with my plan to be with Raina but I would do that tomorrow night. Not knowing for sure when Wolf would arrive I planned to take the trolley downtown and find a hotel with a nice restaurant. As soon as she was dressed after the afternoon performance, Raina would follow, and we would have supper together at a restaurant. I would stick to that plan. I had Avery deliver Raina a message describing the plan. We talked about a walk along the river but the heat probably made that idea ridiculous.
Feeling confused but determined I decided to find a hotel for Raina and me before going to see Wolf at the Jefferson Hotel. One streetcar after another stopped at Market and Grand. I took a trolley marked #70 Grand Avenue, which was headed downtown. A man standing next to me informed me that I had to change to a #10 Delmar or a #11 University to get where I wanted to go. I rode for two blocks and disembarked and waited a few minutes for the correct car. It swayed and bumped along with muffled clicking as each wheel crossed a rail joint. The green car was so full that I stood all the way to Union Station. There half of the people got off. I continued to stand for the next fifteen blocks until we arrived at the trolley turnaround at Fourth and Broadway. I worried that Raina would never find me because of the transfers.
Everything and everyone seemed to be moving in slow motion. When we reached the turnaround, I got off. The immediate area was not as nice as the three or four blocks before but the storefronts were tidy. I began looking for a place for supper. As the streetcar passengers boarded for the trip west, I stood trying to decide which direction to walk. I followed Market Street.
Within a few blocks, I came to the Mississippi River. The neighborhood I walked through was full of old steamboat warehouses. I decided to walk a couple of blocks south before returning to my starting point. I found a small hotel with a restaurant on the first floor about three blocks south of the trolley stop. As I walked by the front door, I felt cool air pouring into the street. A few steps further brought me in front of restaurant tables that were pushed up to the window. Lace curtains draped from either side of the two scrolly, etched windows. I saw candles on the tables. It was too early for them to be lit. An older couple was seated at a table near the window.
I entered the tiny, dark lobby that smelled of old cigars. None of the worn, overstuffed chairs were occupied. The grandfather clock in the corner sounded one chime at five forty-five.
I looked at the clerk, a bald man maybe sixty years old.
“Can I be of assistance?”
“It’s pleasant being away from the heat. Is the restaurant also cooled?”
“Yes, the entire hotel has cooled air. The machine is new, only last week. Perfect timing. Would you like a room?”
“Maybe,” I said confidently, “Could I see a room?”
“Certainly. For yourself?”
“Yes, tonight but tomorrow night for three of us.”
He scowled but asked no questions and handed me a key. The door was not locked when I turned the knob. It was a spacious room with a double bed on the far side near the lace-covered window and a single bed to my left. Cool air poured in through vents in the ceiling. I put my hand up to feel the air.
To my right was an alcove cutout that held a bathtub and a sink. The tub had a shower that sprayed down into the center of the tub. I closed the door to the room and walked toward the top of the stairs. I was sure it was too expensive.
“Acceptable, Yes?” the desk clerk asked.
“How much?”
“I’ll encourage you. Only two dollars a night. Thirty-five cents for each extra person.”
My long awkward silence had nothing to do with the price.
“Fine, I’ll make it four dollars and fifty cents even.”
“I’ll take it,” I said. “After I clean up I will be late tonight.”
He nodded uninterestedly.
“Please pay now,” he said crisply.
“Now!”
“Yes, that will hold the room no matter how late you return. I’ll even let you keep the key.” He handed me the key frowning, “I really shouldn’t do this.”
I returned to the room and took off all of my clothes and stood for a long time under the totally refreshing shower. I was conscious that I was washing off the residue of loving making with a woman and preparing for loving making with a man. I knew what I wanted but I didn’t know if it could work. Raina was unique and she would always be special but my heart belonged to Wolf. I left the hotel and started toward the trolley stop.
Fifteen minutes later I stood in front of Room 1204 at the new Jefferson Hotel. I knocked gently. There was no response immediately so I rapped harder. I heard, “I’m coming, I’m coming.”
The door opened and there stood Wolf in his silk dressing gown. He extended his hand and pulled me inside. After an awkward moment I moved forward to kiss his soft lips. When finished I smiled, “Hi, my name is Seth,” which caused him to laugh. He pulled me toward the middle of the room.
“Do you want to shower and change into the dressing gown I brought for you?”
“Actually, I just showered and I will tell you about that in a few minutes but I will get out of my work clothes.” He stood next to me as I undressed. It was as if he would tackle me if I tried to leave. With nothing on except our gowns we sat before a meal of guinea hen on wild rice with fresh green beans. We sipped on white wine. As we finished I sheepishly told Wolf about last night with Raina.
“Do you love her?”
“Honestly, I thought I did until I met you. And until she returned to the show I really didn’t think about her very much. You know her father died.”
Coldly, Wolf said, “The inspector told me.”
“I think she came back to get revenge and is using me to help her carry out a plan which I am sure she doesn’t have. Also, men from the government are on the lot with a plan to break up the smuggling ring. It could be happening tonight or tomorrow night I don’t know which. I am just trying to keep Raina from getting hurt. In fact, I had plans to be with her and one of mates tonight at a little hotel not far from here. But I never got the message to her. I am just hoping nothing happened on the lot tonight.”
“Did you like making love with her?”
“Wolf, I told you I want to be with you but being with a woman is not that bad. I know she and I could never be married. She is circus through and through. I am not.”
Changing the subject he said, “What did you think about my business proposition?”
“I am interested in what you are thinking about because I really think this is my last season on the show or maybe one more. My mother is not well and I may need to go home for a while.”
“The season doesn’t end for a month or so, correct.”
“That is correct.”
“Are you staying with me tonight? I will call and have the dishes taken away.”
“Yes, I want to stay with you.”
After curious looks from the waiter who came to retrieve the table we went into the bedroom. I pulled Wolf to me and slipped his dressing gown over his shoulders. He stood before in skin never exposed to the sun with a fully erect penis. I playfully grabbed hold of it as he untied my gown to reveal an equally hard male organ. I pulled him into a kiss and rubbed my hands over his soft skin covered with fine reddish hair. In bed we cuddled and kissed for a long time before climaxing. He rolled onto his side still hard and said, “Seth, are you sure you want to be with me.”
“Wolf, seriously, I think I do. I know what we are doing is illegal in England and the United States. I know my family and friends will never understand. But they haven’t understood me for a very long time. I really enjoyed our time together in Europe. I like your friends.”
“I hope I get to meet your family and friends sometime.”
“If we are together you will meet them. I have decided that I don’t care if they don’t understand. But right now I want to sleep because tomorrow is going to be an interesting day.”
“If you stay in the hotel with Raina do you think you will make love to her again.”
“I might but it is not for love just to take her mind off revenge. Have you ever been with a woman?”
“Oh, I have kissed women and some passionately but never explored the erotic.”
“Do you want to meet her and who knows what might happen?”
“Would she permit two men? What if I don’t get hard?”
I stopped him and related the time with her and Rudi on the banks of the Wabash. “I just have to convince her that you are a friend and not police.”
“Tell me about your plan.” I gave him a few details but fell asleep within minutes.
# # # # #
“We better eat quickly,” Raina said as she, Wolf and me were seated at one of the tables by the window. “We really don’t have very long,” she spoke to me as if Wolf was not sitting with us.
Wolf was not going to be rushed.
He questioned, “So what happens if we miss the spec? There were so few people this afternoon because of the heat and humidity.”
Raina raised her right hand in a mock salute.“Herr Equestrian Director Brandon vill care.”
Raina spoke to the Maitre d’ in German. He smiled and responded graciously ordering delicious sauerbraten and noodles. We were served with German efficiency because we were in a hurry. She and I talked about our time in Hamburg. When we were ready to leave, I whispered to Raina that I had rented a room upstairs with a shower. She wanted to see it.
Conscious of the desk clerk, I gave her the key at the table. She slipped upstairs while Wolf and I had another cup of coffee. A few minutes later she came down the stairs smiling. Wolf followed as we sprinted toward the trolley stop. By the time we transferred and reached at the lot, it was jammed with people. I hoped the crowd would disguise our return. Unfortunately, twenty yards onto the lot we encountered Ralph and Williams. Ralph looked up and sneered at me.
I didn’t try to keep up with Raina and Wolf was a few steps behind. I don’t think Ralph recognized that we were together. She went off to the spec call. I headed toward the horse tent, hoping to find George or Avery. I encouraged Wolf to go into the menagerie. I spotted Avery among a group of Negro men glistening with sweat. I got close enough to call his name. Avery came over and told me that our horses were hot but okay. He related that there were two deaths in the horse tent. I wanted to see for myself the condition of our horses. I found George so we could walk and water the horses. A hot breeze stirred up the dust, and I tasted the grit.
We each took two halters and slowly walked the horses near the main entrance. I wanted people to see these beauties. I was proud of my performers even if the spectators didn’t know about my show. Doc walked in my direction.
“Saw you had your horses out. Good idea to get them out of that stifling tent. All of them healthy?”
“All seem fine. Happy for a cool breeze.”
“Understand we lost a few today,” he continued. “Tonight’s the night. Stay away from 86.”
The flag was still up on the cookhouse. With nothing else to do, I went in to see if iced tea or coffee was available. I sat alone, anticipating my night with Raina and Wolf.
Thirty, maybe forty minutes later, I emerged from the tent and noticed a truck parked in the shadows near 86. I jumped as a hand was placed on my shoulder. I turned, expecting one of the Bureau of Investigation guys, but found Shorty.
“Watch yourself tonight,” he said.