Leopard Spots

Chapter 22

After a night where he had little sleep until Dave had returned home, Jarrod was awakened early on Easter Sunday by the sound of someone banging on the front door. He lay in bed for a moment, but then he realised that someone would have to see who it was.

After rolling out of bed and pulling on a pair of tracksuit pants, Jarrod padded down the hallway to the house entrance. He glanced back once to confirm that his housemates had either not heard the noise or had elected to have someone else respond.

Opening the front door, Jarrod encountered a frantic-looking, middle-aged woman and a young man who appeared to be in his mid-twenties.

“Where’s Dave? What’s happened to him?” The woman grabbed Jarrod’s arm. “I woke up to find a message on the answering machine saying he’d been taken to the hospital, but when I went there, they told me he’d been discharged earlier this morning. I’ve tried a few times, but he’s not answering his phone. Where’s my son?”

“Mrs. Islington, come in, and I’ll get Dave for you. He’s probably still asleep since he didn’t get home until around three.” Jarrod stepped back and let her into the house.

The young man stepped forward and flashed Jarrod a quick smile. “I’m Rod, Dave’s brother.” His expression immediately changed to one of concern. “Is he okay?”

Jarrod cringed. “I think it’s best if he explained things.” He led Dave’s family into the lounge room. “I’ll go get him.”

Jarrod sped down the hallway to Dave’s room. He took a deep breath and then knocked. When there was no answer, he opened the door and peered in.

Dave was lying on his side, the doona cover pulled halfway up his bare chest. As Jarrod approached, he heard a soft snore. Cautiously, he reached out and gave Dave a shake. “Dave? You need to get up. Your mum and brother are here.”

There was no response, so Jarrod shook Dave a little harder. “Dave? You have to get up.”

Dave groaned, and one eye opened. “Fuck off,” was the weak comment before the eye closed again.

“Your mum’s here. She got a message saying you were in hospital, and she’s very upset. She needs to see you.”

Dave’s eyes snapped open. “Fuck!” He pulled himself up into a seated position and stared bleary-eyed at Jarrod. “Can you stall her? I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Sure, Dave.” Jarrod smiled. “Whatever you want.”

Dave lifted an arm and sniffed. “Do I need a shower?”

“It’s only your mum and brother. They’re concerned about how you are, not how you smell.”

Dave sighed as he rolled out of bed. “You don’t know my mum.”

* * *

Jarrod glanced out the front window and watched the white Holden Commodore back out of the driveway. He gave an exaggerated sigh and turned to Dave. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but your mum’s rather intense.”

Dave snorted, a faint smile playing on the edges of his lips for a moment. “She’s always been like that.” His shoulders slumped. “I suppose we’re all lucky that she didn’t get the message until this morning. Otherwise, she’d have been at the hospital last night. I don’t think I could’ve handled that.”

“Do you want another coffee?” Owen asked Dave.

“No, thanks.” Dave shuddered. “I’m supposed to try to stay off caffeine.”

Jarrod frowned. “But you’ve been drinking the stuff all morning.”

Dave sighed. “I know. I needed it to deal with Mum. But the doctor said it could raise my anxiety levels, and that might lead to another incident.”

Owen sat next to Dave on the couch. “I noticed that you were vague with her about what had happened.”

Dave glared. “How the fuck do you tell your Mum that you were…that someone…?” Dave shook his head. “That she and Dad were supposed to protect me…and they failed?” The momentary anger faded away. “I couldn’t do it. Someone else needs to tell her, because I can’t. I just can’t.”

“At least you’re able to talk to us about it now.” Jarrod dropped into the chair opposite where Dave was sitting. “We’ve been worried about you. At least now we can start helping.”

“How the fuck do you help with this?” Dave put his head in his hands. “I…”

Jarrod caught Owen’s eye, and the two shared an unspoken feeling of helplessness. Jarrod didn’t know what to do next, and he had no idea of how he could assist Dave. All he knew is that he’d do what he could.

Owen tilted his head towards the bedrooms. “Do you want to see if Charlie’s up? I’m surprised he didn’t come out while Dave’s mum and brother were here.”

Jarrod’s mouth twisted into a half-smile as he stood up. “I’ll see if they’re ready to join us.”

“They?” Owen’s eyebrows rose.

“Stacey stayed the night. The door to their room was slightly open when Mrs. Islington arrived. I was going to wake him after I got Dave up, but when I saw he had company, I closed the door instead.” Jarrod grinned. “I’ll go knock and see if they’re awake.”

“No, wait.” Dave looked up. “Let him be. Charlie deserves some time off. He’s been…dealing…with me for a few weeks now.”

“Only because you wouldn’t let anyone else get close.” Owen’s tone was soft.

Dave grimaced. “I didn’t know what was going on.” He shuddered and his face screwed up in remembered pain. “Now I do.”

Owen put a hand on Dave’s shoulder. “We’re here for you, mate. Whatever it takes, we’ll help you get through this.” Owen glanced up and caught Jarrod’s nod of agreement. “You’re not alone.”

Dave’s body shook, and he dropped his head into his hands. “I wish I could just forget it ever happened.”

Jarrod frowned but stayed silent. He didn’t think it would be useful to remind Dave that he’d already tried forgetting, and it hadn’t worked.

* * *

Ryan stared, perplexed, at Deon, who was fiddling around at the back of the television. “What are you doing?”

Deon poked his head out. “Trying to hook up my laptop so I can use the TV as a monitor.”

“Why?”

“I’ve got some videos I need to watch, and it’ll be easier on the big screen.” Deon moved the television back into its normal position. After a few seconds of playing with the remote control and then his laptop, an image of Deon holding a football appeared.

Ryan chuckled. “Admiring yourself?”

“No.” Deon’s reply was blunt, though with a distracted tone. “Trying to work out what I’m doing wrong.”

Ryan sat down in a nearby chair. “What do you mean?”

“There’s something wrong with my kicking action. At least that’s what I hope is going on. My accuracy in front of the goals is down, and I don’t know why. Marcus and Dad took some videos of me kicking earlier, and I’ve uploaded them onto my laptop. I want to see if they show anything.” Deon moved the laptop as far from the television as the cable would allow. “Now, to work.” He clicked on the play button.

The two guys watched Deon take a few steps and then kick the football. The video ended, and Ryan glanced at Deon. “What are you looking for?”

“I don’t fucking know. Something’s wrong, but I don’t know what.” Deon selected another video. “This is one where it all worked right, and the ball went where I wanted it to go.” A minute later. “And this is one where it didn’t.”

Ryan shrugged. “They’re different, but I didn’t see anything obvious.”

“Yeah…” Deon sighed. “This is going to take time. I’ve got the videos tagged as to which ones were good and which ones show a kick that went off. I’ve got front, back, and side views. Trying to work out what’s happening isn’t going to be easy.”

“Did you think about putting them on a CD and giving them to Will to check?”

“I’m going to do that later, but I won’t be seeing him until Wednesday. I was hoping I’d be able to work it out for myself before then.” Deon selected another video. “Dad suggested it might be my stride.”

“Did Jim say why he thought that?”

Deon snorted as he smiled. “Not Jim, my father. I mentioned the hamstring injury I had at the end of last year, and he said it might’ve changed my run-up slightly. Not a lot, just enough to make a difference.”

Ryan glanced at his watch. “I can spare an hour if you think another pair of eyes will help, but I’m taking Fiona out for dinner tonight, and I can’t stay.”

Deon gave him a look of appreciation. “Thanks, mate.”

The two sat and watched videos, bouncing comments and ideas between them until it was time for Ryan to get ready for his date.

Deon glared at the television. “Why is it so fucking hard to work out what’s wrong?”

Ryan smiled and patted Deon on the shoulder. “You’ll work it out, or maybe Will’ll spot it. I think your running action is fine, and I didn’t see anything different between the good and bad kicks, but he’s been at this game a lot longer than both of us. Experience counts, especially for finding something subtle. Don’t give up.”

“I’m not going to give up. I’m just getting frustrated because I want this fixed!”

Ryan chuckled. “Take a break. I think you’ve been concentrating so hard that you can’t see the details anymore.”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” Deon’s body slumped. “I just want it over and done with.”

“As I said, take a break. Take Pamela out for dinner or a movie or something. Come back to it when you’re fresh.”

Deon grunted. He stared at the television screen for a moment longer and then turned away. “Do you think Dave’s up to having visitors?”

“I don’t know.” Ryan grimaced. “I’ll admit I’ve been reluctant to contact him. He hasn’t been particularly approachable for a few weeks now.”

“Maybe that’s changed.” Deon pulled out his phone. “I’ll send him a text. Charlie, too. One of them should reply. If it’s okay, I might head over there for an hour or so.”

“If you do, tell Dave that we’re here to help, too. If he needs anything, tell him to just ask.”

* * *

Charlie was working on his laptop when he felt a pair of hands sliding over his upper arms. A moment later, Stacey rested her head on his shoulder, her cheek nestled against his.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Looking up information on what’s going on with Dave.” He pointed at the screen. “That’s the fact sheet on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from the Beyond Blue website. There’s a set of dos and don’ts for him, one of which I’m not sure about. This is the section for friends and family, and I was just reviewing it to see if there’s anything useful.”

Stacey rolled Charlie’s chair back and then sat on his lap. “Sorry, I couldn’t stay bent over like that, and you don’t have a spare chair.” She grinned and gave him a quick kiss. “Plus you’re comfy.”

Charlie felt himself going red, but that didn’t keep the smile from his face. “I’m going to print off the fact sheet for us here and email it to a few other people. It might help, though we’ll need to make sure that any instructions from Dave’s doctor take precedence.”

Stacey stared at the laptop. “You said there was a do or don’t that you weren’t sure about.”

“It says that it’s important that Dave maintains his routine and keeps doing normal activities. It also says to avoid stressful situations, not work too much and not stop doing things you enjoy. Football’s stressful, but it’s part of his routine and something he enjoys. At least he used to. Is it a good idea for him to keep playing, or is that going to make things worse?”

Stacey’s brow wrinkled. “Not really our call. You need to support him with whatever is decided. If he keeps playing football, that’s good. If he doesn’t, you need to make sure he’s still part of the group, still one of the guys.”

“Yeah…” Charlie thought for a moment and then smiled up at Stacey. “I don’t really want you to move, but I’d like to forward this to a few people, and I can’t do that while you’re on my lap. If you don’t mind…?”

Stacey laughed as she stood up. “Okay, and then I want you to take me home.”

Charlie tried to keep the disappointment off his face, but when Stacey smiled and gave him another light kiss, he knew he hadn’t succeeded. “I thought we could spend the rest of the afternoon together.”

“We will. I just need to change my clothes.” It was Stacey’s turn to blush. “And, if it’s okay with you, I’ll pack a small bag so I can stay here another night.”

Charlie swallowed nervously while grinning. “That’ll be more than fine with me. But, Stacey…you need to know…” He swallowed again. “I’ve never…”

Stacey put a finger on Charlie’s lips. “Whatever happens or doesn’t happen, I don’t care. I just want to be with you. That’s all.” She turned her head away. “I’m not particularly experienced, myself.”

Charlie stood up and pulled her into an embrace. He felt the warmth of her body through his T-shirt as well as a slight tremble. He squeezed her lightly, trying to pass on his feelings with his touch. He knew he should say something, but the only words he could think of felt too cheesy.

Stacey rested her head on his chest, her arms around his waist, with one hand slipped under his shirt and gently caressing his back. “Oh, Charlie…”

After simply enjoying holding each other, Charlie kissed the top of her head, revelling in the faint scent of shampoo as he did so. “Time to send that email.” He reluctantly released her.

Stacey stretched up and gave him a peck on the cheek. “I’ll get ready so we can go once you’re done.”

Charlie watched her for a moment and then sat back down. He had decided to send the PTSD fact sheet to Peter, Roger, Ty, and Jim. The first three had been obvious — the coach, captain, and vice-captain — but he had only decided on Jim after a lot of thought. Jim was clearly a part of Dave’s issues, simply because he’s gay; Jim’s appearance in Dave’s nightmare made that clear to Charlie, and working out how Jim fitted into Dave’s support network was going to be tricky.

* * *

Dave kept his head bowed. “Thanks for coming over, Deon.”

“No problem, mate. You’d do it for me.”

Dave looked up at Deon’s smile. “But you’re not crazy. You’ve never been…” Dave pulled a face.

“You’re not crazy, either. You’re hurt. I get that. We all get that.” He glanced around. “Where are the others?”

“Charlie and Stacey should be back soon. They’d gone back to Stacey’s place for something. Owen’s in his room; I couldn’t stand him hovering around me all the time, so I told him to get lost, and Jarrod’s gone to the supermarket for some shopping. My mum and brother were here this morning, and we’ve run out of milk.”

“How did your family take the news?” Deon regretted the question as soon as he asked it.

Dave glared. “How the fuck do you think they took it? They were over the moon with happiness! It’s just what every family wants: some crazy, stuffed-up mental case that everyone can pity!”

Deon winced at the sarcastic tone. “I just hope the police get the bastard who did this to you.”

Dave sighed and dropped his head. “They spoke with me earlier. I’ve given them everything I can remember, but ultimately it’ll be my word against his. The police are going to start some discreet enquires to see if anyone else has been…if he also…” Dave shuddered.

“Do you want to talk about this, or would you prefer to talk about something else?”

“I…” Dave gritted his teeth and visibly made himself continue. “I don’t like talking about it, but I can’t hide away from it anymore.”

Deon put a hand on Dave’s shoulder. Dave flinched. “Sorry,” he said as Deon quickly withdrew his hand.

“It’s okay, mate. Let me know what the limits are, and I’ll stick to them.”

Dave glared. “I don’t fucking know what they are!” He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Deon. I’m still on edge.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Maybe what you need is a break. Do something to take your mind off things.”

Dave’s eyes snapped open. “Yeah, what? I’m not supposed to drink. I’m not in the mood to go to the cinema. I’m not even supposed to go out for a coffee! How the bloody hell am I supposed to take my mind off things?”

Deon gulped and edged away. Dave grimaced and looked away. “Sorry. I shouldn’t snap. I’m supposed to try to stay calm. But it’s so bloody hard!” He took a deep breath. “Thanks for coming over. It means a lot to me, but maybe you should leave. I’m not good company at the moment.”

Deon stood up and looked down. “It’ll work out, Dave. Have faith. It’ll get better.”

“Please…just go.”

Deon looked back once before he left. Dave had his head in his hands and his body was shaking. Deon knew his strong, tough teammate was sobbing his eyes out, and there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

Jim and Tony were at Tony’s apartment, sitting entwined on the couch and supposedly watching a movie, though neither was paying the television a lot of attention. The general mood was sombre, and Jim was the first to verbalise the reason. “What can we do? For Dave, I mean. I feel so helpless.” Jim sighed as he rested his head on top of Tony’s. “Charlie’s sent me something he found on the web, but it doesn’t tell me what I should be doing. I want to do something, but I haven’t the faintest idea what.”

“That’s the sportsman in you, part of who you are. You need to be doing something to help the team, and that includes Dave.” Tony pulled away so he could smile at his boyfriend. “However, there’s something you will be doing this coming week that will help. Not Dave, but hopefully others.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve got your first school visit on Wednesday. Roger and Ollie will be leading it, since it’ll be the first time you’ve done one of them, but you’ll be there to show those kids that there’s nothing wrong with being gay. That’s going to help the big picture: working to eliminate homophobia. It’s not going to stop what happened to Dave, but it’ll stop other forms of abuse that kids suffer. Get out there and show them that you can be gay and not worry.”

Jim winced. “I know I agreed, but I still feel awkward talking about it. I’m a footballer who happens to be gay. Being gay isn’t the centre of my life; football is.”

Tony gave Jim a mock frown. “And where do I fit into this picture?” The grin he had been trying to hide crept out.

Jim tackled him, pushing him back so Tony was lying on the couch instead of sitting. “You’re up there with football.” He chuckled as he held his boyfriend down. “But if you want to be number one, you need to work at it. No one gets to be number one without a lot of effort and constant training.”

Tony lifted his head enough to reach Jim’s lips. Seconds later, Jim’s hold was broken as the passion rose. “How’s that for effort?” Tony whispered when their lips separated.

Jim smiled. “For a warmup, not bad. You’ll need to do a lot more than that, though, if you want the top possie.”

Tony chuckled. “I don’t think you meant that the way it came out.” He sighed and gently pushed Jim off him. “Later, Jim. To be honest, it feels wrong to be doing that when Dave…” He grimaced.

“Yeah, I know. I’m the same.” Jim moved so the two were again seated side by side. “I noticed that there was nothing in the newspapers today about it. That’s good.”

“Colin hoped that the media would ignore the press release we put out, but if anything comes up later, we’ve got the official statement already in place.” Tony chuckled, though there was little mirth in it. “One of the benefits of not being in the top tier of sports. Can you imagine what would’ve been the reaction if we were an AFL club?”

Jim rolled his eyes. “There would be swarms of media everywhere. It’d be like when I came out, but probably worse. No privacy for anyone.” He frowned. “That reminds me; who sent out the warning to everyone to not say anything? I guessed that I didn’t get the message because I was with you, but I don’t think Ty or Ryan have received it, either. They certainly haven’t said anything, and I’m sure the brat would’ve mentioned it to me if he had.”

“I assumed Colin was going to do it, but it may be he decided it needed to come from the president. Eric left early on Saturday, and I don’t know if Colin has gotten hold of him yet.” Tony paused. “Do you think I should chase up on it?”

Jim shrugged. “Can’t hurt. It’s better to be sure.”

* * *

Todd glanced across to where Neil was sitting, taking in the slumped-over figure. He turned back to Lorraine and gave her a soft kiss. “While I’d like to stay the night again, I think it’s better if I stayed with Neil. He’s still not over what happened.”

Lorraine sighed. “I know. I was in shock myself last night. After I put the kids to bed, I just sat there shaking. Wondering if that was going to ever happen to Sean or Becky and what I could do to stop it.”

Todd gave her another kiss. “Neil and I had this same conversation at the footy oval this morning. What happened to Dave is the exception, not the rule. We can’t put the kids in cotton wool to try to protect them from harm. All we can do is to keep a wary eye out and teach them to trust us enough to tell us if something isn’t right. We have to allow them to be kids while doing what we can to make that as safe as possible.”

“I know, but…” Lorraine made a face, and her head dropped. “I feel so useless.”

Todd pulled her into an embrace and tried to gently squeeze the negativity out of her. “You’re not useless. You’ve done a great job with Sean and Becky, and you’re going to continue to do a great job. They couldn’t ask for a more loving, caring mum. Just keep doing what you’re doing; your instincts are generally right.”

Lorraine rested her head on Todd’s chest. “Do you really mean that?”

Todd rolled his eyes, since he knew she wouldn’t see it. “Yes, I mean it. And it’s also true. You’re a great mum, and you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.”

“But there’s never—”

Todd used his favourite method to silence Lorraine. After the kiss ended, he smiled. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll call you later. Be good.”

She smiled back up at him. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you.”

Todd gave her another kiss. “Just be yourself. That’s all I want from you. Now, I have to take Neil back to my place. He needs some attention, too.”

* * *

Helena pulled away from Oliver. “Ollie, there’s something I need to tell you.” The two had only been in his bedroom a couple of minutes, but his shirt was already off, and both were slightly flushed.

Oliver’s smile became plastic as various nightmare scenarios ran through his mind. The number one was that she was leaving him. “What is it?”

“It’s about Neil…”

Oliver grinned with relief. “I hope you’re not going to ask for a threesome with him, because I’m not going there.”

“Be serious!” She frowned, which sobered Oliver immediately. “I did something wrong yesterday, and I’m worried. I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone, but I…” Helena shook her head. “I want you to know, just in case.”

“What is it?” This time Oliver wanted to know the answer.

“Yesterday, at the game, I met three guys, one of whom was gay and single. He was looking for a boyfriend, so I thought I’d introduce him to Neil.”

Oliver narrowed his eyes. “He turned out to be a creep?”

“Sort of.” Helena glanced away. “You know the bullies that have been hassling Neil… It was them.” She looked back, her lips quivering with distress. “I outed Neil to his bullies.”

“What the fuck?” Oliver scowled. “What did the bastards do? We need to tell Neil so he’ll be prepared for school.” He stood up and put his hands to his head. “Shit! The guy’s been through enough hell already. Tuesday’s going to be the worst day of his life!” He glared at Helena. “And you weren’t going to tell anyone? What the fuck were you thinking?” He grabbed his shirt and pulled it back on. “I’ve got to tell Todd. Hopefully, we can work out what the fucking hell we can to do.”

“Ollie, please…”

When Oliver saw how distressed Helena was, his anger crumbled. He sat back down next to her and pulled her into an embrace. “It was an accident, I get that, but it’s just made his school life worse. He’s more likely to want to drop out now, and I’m not sure I’d blame him. I haven’t a clue as to what—”

Helena’s finger on his lips silenced Oliver. She gave him a weak smile. “It’s not as bad as you think. They agreed to not say anything. They’re not going to out him at school.”

“Why the hell not?” Oliver was suspicious.

“I’m not exactly sure. One of the guys didn’t seem to care, but the other two were adamant that Neil was to be left alone. They didn’t even want Neil to know that they knew, saying it would freak him out if he did. They both threatened the third guy to be sure he wouldn’t say anything.”

Oliver frowned as he thought about what he’d been told. “Could it be an act?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so, but that’s why I wanted to tell you. I was going to after the game last night, but…”

Oliver nodded. Other matters had taken priority. “What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know!” Helena’s body shook. “They promised me that no one would know. That they wouldn’t tell anyone. But if they do…”

“I’ll tell Todd as soon as I can. Sometime when Neil’s not around. I’m sure Neil will tell Todd if he’s outed at school, and if he is we’ll know that they did it. I’m not sure what happens after that, but we’ll play that one by ear.”

Helena hugged him. She gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you.”

Oliver smiled and stood up. He held out a hand. “I’m glad you told me, but it’s been a bit of a mood killer. Let’s go out and see if Todd’s back. If not, we’ll watch some TV.”

She took his hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet. “Thanks, Ollie. You’re a wonderful guy.”

* * *

“I’ll sleep here on the couch,” Neil said, his head bowed.

Todd shook his head. “No way. You’re the guest here, and you’re not sleeping there. You get the bed.”

“I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me.”

Todd frowned at the emotionless tone. Oliver had told him earlier that evening about Neil being outed to the three guys from school. Neil had been helping Paul with the barbecue at the time, giving Todd and Oliver some privacy inside the house. Todd didn’t like the possibility of a depressed Neil discovering he had been outed at school, and he was worried about the potential consequences. He was hoping that the three guys would keep their word and not say anything.

Oliver spoke up from where he had been cuddling with Helena. “A bed’s a lot more comfortable, Neil. Trust me; I’ve tried that couch, and it’s not that great.”

Helena stared at him. “Why were you sleeping on the couch?”

Todd chuckled as Oliver went red. “End of August last year, wasn’t it, Ollie? You were in commiseration mode because we didn’t make the finals.”

“You! Shut up!” Oliver turned and smiled sweetly at Helena. “It’s not really that important.”

Neil lifted his head. “What happened?”

Todd grinned as Oliver glared across the room. “Ollie had brought someone back to help him commiserate, but she had a few…quirks…I suppose you could say. His room stunk for a couple of days, and he ended up buying a new mattress. He slept on the couch in the meantime.”

“And that’s never going to happen again. Right, Helena?” Oliver gave her a quick kiss.

She smiled. “I don’t know…” She cocked her head and then turned to Neil. “As an alternative to the couch, Ollie was talking about a threesome earlier. If you’d like to join us, I’m sure—”

Oliver put a hand over her mouth. “Ignore her, Neil. I’m more than capable of looking after all her needs. She doesn’t need a threesome. Hey!” He took his hand away and gave it a shake. “Don’t bite!”

Helena giggled. “But, Ollie, you were saying how good-looking Neil was, and—” She stopped, laughing, as Oliver started to tickle her.

“I think it’s time for your bedtime.” Oliver hoisted her into a fireman’s lift and started to carry her off. “Night, everyone!” Helena grinned and winked at Neil as she and Oliver disappeared.

Todd chuckled. “Those two suit each other, but don’t take anything they say seriously. I’m pretty sure Ollie’s 100% straight.”

A smile appeared on Neil’s face, and then he scowled. He started hitting his head with both his fists. “Stop it! Stop it!”

Todd grabbed Neil’s wrists. “Neil, what’s wrong?”

Neil stared at Todd. “I’m a pervert. I’m dangerous. I’m going to molest someone!”

Todd pulled him into a bear hug. “No, you’re not.”

“Then why am I thinking of having sex with Ollie? It’s wrong!” Neil buried his head into Todd’s chest. His muffled voice still reached Todd’s ears. “I shouldn’t be thinking it!”

Todd glared in the direction where Oliver and Helena had disappeared. He knew that Helena’s comments had been her normal teasing of his housemate, but Neil wasn’t able to handle the sexual innuendo that was regularly exchanged by those two. He turned his attention back to his young friend. After giving Neil another squeeze, he moved Neil slightly away, keeping a grip on both of Neil’s upper arms.

“Neil, listen to me. It’s okay to think about other people sexually. There were girls at school that I used to fantasise about regularly. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s only perverted and disgusting if you follow through on those fantasies. You won’t do that. You’ve got the self-control to stop yourself. I believe in you. In a couple of months, you’ll be old enough to go visit some gay bars and nightclubs and maybe find yourself a boyfriend. Then you’ll find out for yourself what sex is all about, and you won’t have to worry anymore. Please…don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“I can’t sleep in the same bed as you, Todd. I don’t trust myself!”

Todd struggled to keep a frown from his face. The next steps were going to be critical for Neil.

“Neil, all I’m asking you to do is to trust yourself. You’re not going to molest me, but you need to believe that, too. If you can’t do it, then I’ll get out the airbed, and I’ll sleep on that tonight, just like we were going to do the first time you stayed here. I’m comfortable sharing the bed with you, but if you would prefer I didn’t, that’s okay. The one thing I don’t want you to do is hide from me. You’re my friend, Neil. You’re the little brother I never had. I’ll never hurt you, and I don’t want you to hurt yourself. That’s what you’re doing at the moment; you’re hurting yourself over something that’s not going to happen.” Todd stood up and smiled down at Neil. “Come on. Let’s get ready for bed. Tomorrow morning, you need to pack up so I can take you home.”

Neil stared up, his face almost expressionless. He then grimaced and nodded. “Okay, but can you get the airbed out? I…I’d prefer that.”

Todd nodded. “Sure. If that’s what makes you comfortable, then that’s what we’ll do.”

* * *

“Rise and shine, sleepyhead!”

Neil opened his eyes. He gave a quiet sigh of relief to find Todd was already dressed. He’d had enough trouble the night before knowing that a near-naked Todd was sleeping next to the bed. He didn’t want to deal with temptation and frustration again.

“You’ve got to get everything packed immediately after breakfast. I’m going to Lorraine’s for lunch, and I’ll drop you off on the way,” Todd said as he gathered Neil’s cast-off clothes into a pile.

Neil stifled a yawn. “What are we going to do until then?”

“No real plans, but if you’re looking for something to do, I can take you to the gym for an hour or so. If that’s okay with you, I’ll go steal some of Ollie’s clothes for you to wear, and you can shower and get changed at the club. We’ll probably head off from there.”

Neil shrugged. “That sounds fine.”

“In that case, I’ll go annoy Ollie.” Todd gave Neil an evil grin. “I’ll be back soon. If you hear yelling and screaming, ignore it. It’ll only be Ollie waking up.”

Neil blinked and then chuckled. The smile on his face faded away as he wished he had friends with whom he could have that sort of relationship. Todd was the only person he felt comfortable with, but he couldn’t bring himself to play a practical joke on Todd. There was too much risk that it wouldn’t be taken the right way and he would lose his one close friend.

Ty was friendly, but Neil sensed a reservation within him. His relationship with Ty was not as close as the one with Todd, though he didn’t know why.

Neil rolled out of bed and stretched. He then organised some clothes to wear and started to pack his bag. He was still doing that when the door was flung open and Todd rushed in. Todd grinned broadly as he closed and locked the door.

“Here’s some training clothes for you.” Todd tossed a pair of shorts, T-shirt, and tracksuit on the bed. “I’d wait a few minutes before you go out, though. There’s a rampaging naked Italian out there.”

There was a bang on the door. “Todd! Get your fucking body out here!”

Todd smiled at Neil as he put a finger to his lips. He turned to the door. “What is it, Ollie?”

“You know what the fuck it is! You’ll pay for this!”

“What did you do?” Neil asked.

Todd shrugged. “I might’ve accidentally opened up and poured out a bag of frozen peas in Ollie’s bed.” He grinned. “But it wasn’t on purpose. Anyway, it’s about time he changed those sheets. They’ve been getting a heavy usage all weekend. Plus, now he can join us at the gym for a workout.”

Neil smiled. “I thought he’s been working out with Helena all weekend.”

Todd laughed. “He has, but he needs to work on some of his other muscles.” He grinned. “You seem better this morning.”

Neil grimaced. “A bit.” He sighed. “Thanks, Todd. Last night…what you said meant a lot to me.”

“Todd!”

Todd chuckled as Oliver banged on the bedroom door again. He then sobered up and focused his attention on Neil. “I meant every word, Neil.”

“I know, it’s just…” Neil stared down at the bag by his feet and took a deep breath. “I’m still not sure I can trust myself.”

“You will. Give it time, mate. You’ll learn to trust again, I’m sure of it.”

* * *

“Neil!” Mrs. Rosewood smiled broadly. “Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah, I suppose so.” Neil trudged towards his room, carrying his bag.

His mother raised an eyebrow at Todd. “What happened? Did something go wrong?”

Todd grimaced. “Unfortunately it did. Nothing to do with Neil,” he hastened to add. “One of our friends had a breakdown on the weekend. It turned out he had been traumatised as a kid, and it all came out that night. That upset Neil.” He scowled. “It upset all of us. None of us had a good Easter.”

“Is your friend okay?” Mrs. Rosewood gave Todd a weak smile. “I’m sorry. Would you like a cup of tea or coffee?”

Todd glanced in the direction where Neil had disappeared. “I wasn’t going to, but yes, thank you. I might stay a bit to make sure Neil’s okay. He was fine first thing this morning, but he seems down again.”

“I’ll just put the kettle on. Make yourself at home.” She disappeared into the kitchen.

Todd settled himself in one of the chairs in the lounge room. The sound of a lawnmower out the back of the house ended, and Todd readied himself to explain what had happened to both of Neil’s parents. He had been debating with himself if he should say anything, but Neil’s obvious depression had forced the decision. Todd had hoped that Neil had his problems under control, but the change that had come over him in the time it took to drive from the football club to Neil’s home was worrying.

A few minutes later, Mary and Phil, the latter smelling of sweat and freshly mown grass, were seated opposite Todd. Neil hadn’t made a reappearance.

“…and then the paramedics took Dave to the hospital. He was released early the next morning. He’s being referred to a specialist psychologist for treatment, but from what I’ve been told, it’s going to take months, and there’s no guarantee he’ll be completely healed. I can’t say too much more, I’m sure you appreciate that Dave deserves some privacy.”

Todd did his best to keep things vague. He’d received a text message from Colin on Sunday night, asking that details of the incident be kept confidential in order to not jeopardise the ongoing police investigation. He felt he had to give some sort of explanation to Neil’s parents, so he tried to ride the line of being informative without supplying too much information.

Mr. Rosewood scowled. “I know you haven’t told us what happened to him as a kid, but I can guess. Bloody poofs! Doing that to a child… I’d like to rip their bloody balls off and stuff them down their throats!”

Todd shook his head. “I don’t know exactly what happened. It might’ve been something else, but I don’t want to speculate. I’d prefer it if you didn’t, either. For Neil’s sake, if nothing else. He doesn’t need ideas of what might’ve caused Dave’s breakdown.”

Mary nodded. “We understand.” She turned to Phil. “We’ll wait to see if Neil wants to talk about it, and we’ll discuss it with him if he wants. Until then, we won’t ask him. We’ll just tell him that we’re here for him if he needs us.”

Todd smiled. “Neil and I had a few good chats yesterday and another again this morning. He knows he can speak to me at any time, and he’s promised he’ll do so if he’s concerned.”

Phil narrowed his eyes. “Why you and not us?”

Todd gave them a sad smile. “Part of growing up, I think. He’s trying to stand on his own two feet, and it’s easier to talk to someone closer to his own age than to his parents.”

Phil stared for a moment and then nodded. “Yeah, I suppose that’s true.”

Mary glanced in the direction of Neil’s bedroom. “Is he going to be okay?”

“I think so. It’s been a nasty shock to all of us.” Todd drained the rest of his coffee. “If it’s alright with you, I’ll go say goodbye to Neil and head off. I think he’ll want to be left alone for the rest of the day, but I’ll ring him tonight to check on him.

Phil and Mary exchanged looks. Mary then turned to Todd. “Yes, that’s fine. Thank you, Todd. We’re really pleased that you’re looking out for our boy, and we’re sorry for what’s happened to your friend. If there’s anything we can do to help, please let us know.”

Todd stood up, triggering Neil’s parents to do the same. He smiled. “Thanks, Mary, Phil. I’m sure everything will work out now that it’s all out in the open, but the thought’s really appreciated. I’ll see Neil now, and then I’ll go. Thanks for the coffee, too.”

Phil smiled. “No, thank you. With guys like you, Paul, and Ty looking out for Neil, we feel he’s in good hands.” He scowled. “We know there are disgusting perverts out there, but if he’s got friends like you guys looking out for him, Neil’s as safe as he can be.”

“Phil…” Mary’s tone showed her disapproval of his speculation.

After a few more pleasantries, Todd padded down to the door indicated by Neil’s mother. He knocked.

“I’m busy!”

“Neil, it’s me. I’m just about to go, and I wanted to say goodbye before I left.”

The door was flung open. A red-eyed Neil stared up at Todd. Neil opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

“Can I come in?” Todd asked.

Neil stepped back. After Todd was in the room, Neil closed the door. “Todd…I can’t do this.”

Todd moved over to the bed and sat down on the edge. He patted the spot next to him. “What is it you can’t do?”

“Hide from them. Hide from him!” Neil sat down, his body slumped over as he rested his elbows on his knees. “I heard what he said. He hates me!” Neil continued in a softer, depressed tone. “He just doesn’t know it yet.”

Todd frowned for a moment and then painted a smile onto his face. “I didn’t realise you were eavesdropping.” Todd gave Neil a one-arm hug. “Your father is confusing paedophiles and gays. He hates paedophiles — I do, too — but that’s not you. We’ve had this talk; you’re not attracted to kids.”

“Tell that to him.” Neil looked up at Todd. “You heard what he wants to do to me!”

“That’s for guys who rape kids, not for you.”

Neil grimaced. “Dad wants to do that to all the gays, too. You haven’t heard how he rants about them whenever they’re mentioned on the news.” Neil gave Todd a pleading look. “Take me back to your place. Please? I don’t want to stay here anymore.”

Todd used his arm around Neil to give a squeeze of encouragement. “It’ll be okay. You’re upset — I’m upset — because of what happened with Dave. Give yourself time to calm down and let yourself settle back into a routine. I’ll call you tonight, and we can have another chat. For now, get yourself unpacked, get things ready for school tomorrow, and just relax.” Todd silently prayed for an uneventful Tuesday. Neil seemed to be on edge, and it wouldn’t take much to set him off.

“I don’t want to stay here. I want to go home with you.”

“You know that’s not going to happen.” Todd knew he had to be firm. “You’re staying here for as long as you can, or you won’t be staying with me in the future. I’m not an option just to make your life easier, Neil. I’m a safety net in case things blow up.” Todd gave in to Neil’s distressed look and pulled the younger guy into an embrace. “It’ll all work out in the end, mate. Just see it through. Don’t give up on your hopes and dreams; they’re still alive.”

Disclaimer: Some public figures have been included in this story for effect. This is fiction, and the words and actions of those characters are mine and not those of the real person. All other individuals depicted are fictional, and any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental.

I would like to thank trebs, C James and MikeL for the advice they gave on early versions and rec for editing this story for me. A special thank you to ricky for that crucial final review before publication.

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