Neil’s head was down as he trudged through the school gates. He didn’t care if he ran into Doug and his cohorts; the way he felt, it would be what he deserved.
“Neil, how was your holiday?” Clarissa asked.
He looked up at his other nemesis and dropped his head again. “It was okay.”
She slipped her arm into his. “You know I wanted to see you, but you said you were working.”
“I was.”
“Seven days a week, including nights and over Easter?” Her sarcastic tone told Neil that she wasn’t buying that story.
He glared at her. “What the fuck do you want, Clarissa? A detailed diary of everything I do? Can’t you get the hint: I wanted to be alone.”
“Actually, that’s not true,” Liam said as he joined them. “You wanted to be with your friends.”
“What do you want, Jerk Face?” Clarissa narrowed her eyes. “I told you: leave Neil alone!”
Liam smiled at Neil and then at Clarissa. “I have been, though I accidentally ran into him during the break.” He glanced back at Neil. “Thanks for your help, by the way. I think that’s going to be the best birthday present I’m ever going to have.”
“What game are you playing at? Your birthday’s not for another three months.” Clarissa turned to Neil. “What did Jerk Face do?”
Neil shrugged. What was going on between Liam and Clarissa didn’t concern him. He just wanted to be by himself, but he didn’t have the emotional energy to pull himself away from Clarissa’s grip. It was easier just to go along for the ride.
“I didn’t do anything. I happened to end up at the sports store where Neil was working, and he sold me an autographed football. Doug went in halves with me as an early birthday present.”
Clarissa glared. “Doug was there, too?” She turned to Neil. “Did anything happen?”
Neil shrugged again. “They bought a football. They left.”
Liam frowned. “Are you okay? You’re not yourself.”
“How the hell do you know what he’s like?” Clarissa asked. “All you’ve done for years is torment him.”
Liam ignored her. “Neil, mate? What’s going on?”
“Don’t call me ‘mate’!” The momentary surge of anger dissipated, leaving Neil feeling more drained. He bowed his head. “Please, go away.”
“You heard him, Jerk Face. He doesn’t want you around.”
“Neil, I wanted to say I’m sorry. It’s taken me a long time, but I know what I’ve done over the years is wrong. I want to try to make it up to you.”
Neil looked up when Liam put a hand on his shoulder. He stared for a moment into Liam’s face, trying to discern what trick his tormentor was concocting. Neil then scowled. “If you want to make it up to me, then leave me alone!”
Liam winced and dropped his hand. “Okay, for now, but I want to do more than that. I’ll see you around.”
Clarissa scowled. “If you fuck with him again, Jerk Face, you’ll regret it.”
Liam’s face was red as he gave Neil a sheepish smile. “Bye, Neil.” He nodded to Clarissa. “I need to talk to you, but that can wait. See you in class.”
“What the fuck was that about?” Clarissa continued to stare after her ex-boyfriend. “He’s acting strange.”
Neil sighed. “Clarissa, I just want to be by myself. Can you go, too? Please?”
She frowned, but it was one of concern, not annoyance. “Okay, but we’ll have lunch together, and you can tell me more about what you got up to during the holidays.”
Neil didn’t feel like arguing. He nodded, hoping that that would be enough for her to leave. To his mild surprise, it was. He stared for a moment and then resumed his trudge towards his locker. Todd had told him he had to finish school. Neil didn’t see the point, but he would do what Todd asked.
* * *
Liam was watching Neil from the corner of the building while waiting for the bell to signal the imminent start of school when a familiar voice spoke up from behind him.
“You can’t help yourself, can you?” Doug put an arm across Liam’s shoulders. “You know it’s not going to work out, so why torment yourself like this?”
Liam snorted. “Clarissa used that same word to describe what we’ve done to Neil for the last five years. I suppose that’s poetic justice.”
“Let him go. You’ll find someone much better than that loser.”
Liam spun around, dislodging Doug’s arm in the process. “Don’t call him that!” Liam grimaced. “We both saw him at the football game, and he wasn’t a loser there. If he’s a loser at school, it’s because that’s what we made him.”
Doug narrowed his eyes. “You’ve got it bad.” He sighed. “Okay, if that’s what you want, let’s work out how to do it. It’s going to blow up in your face—I’m telling you that now—but if you really want to try to date him, I’ll do what I can to help.”
“Thanks, Doug.” Liam turned back and resumed watching Neil. “I don’t know what to do, though. Clarissa’s trying to get to know him better, so I was going to talk to her later and see if we can share information.”
“That bitch? I thought she hates you.”
Liam shook his head. “No, she doesn’t. She doesn’t like me, and she’s still pissed off because her boyfriend turned out to be gay, but she doesn’t hate me.”
Doug chuckled. “I just realised. She left one gay guy and immediately hooks up with another. When she learns the truth, she’s going to be even more pissed off with Four-Dork than she is with you.”
Liam glanced around and then gave a sigh of relief when he realised that there was no one else in earshot. He glared at Doug. “I thought we agreed we weren’t going to use that nickname anymore.”
Doug held up both hands. “Sorry, old habits. It’s going to take me time to get used to the change.” He frowned. “Did you say you’re going to share information with Clarissa? I thought we weren’t going to tell anyone.”
“Not that. I was going to tell her about where Neil worked over the holidays and maybe about the Leopards. I’m not going to say anything about what we found out before the game on Saturday.”
“If you really want to keep that quiet, maybe you shouldn’t tell her about the Leopards, either.” When Liam raised an eyebrow at him, Doug continued. “Helena told us pretty soon after we got there. If it’s common knowledge and Clarissa goes to a match, she’ll find out by the end of the day.”
Liam made a face. “I don’t know if that’s good or bad. But I think you’re wrong. Helena only told us because I told her I’m gay and looking for a boyfriend. She probably wouldn’t’ve said anything otherwise.” He sighed as his eyes tracked Neil’s slow traversal of the schoolyard on his way from his locker to his home-group room. “How the fuck am I going to get Neil interested in me? We’ve got so much history; he’s not going to be able to look past it.”
“That’s why I keep telling you that it’s not going to work out, even leaving aside all the reasons why he’s not worth it.” Doug cocked his head. “If you want him interested, he can’t know that it’s you.”
“What do you mean?”
Doug scowled. “For the record, I’m only suggesting this because you asked. I think the whole thing is a bad idea, but if it’s what you want…. Maybe it’s time Neil got himself a secret admirer.”
Liam’s eyebrows shot up, and his jaw dropped. After a moment’s hesitation, a smile slowly appeared on his face. “That’s brilliant. Thanks, mate! I’ve tried to think of a way to get past all our history with Neil but haven’t been able to come up with anything. Your suggestion bypasses the issue completely!” The school bell sounded, indicating that classes would start in five minutes. “Shit! I’ll have to work out what to do later, but thanks, Doug. That just might work.”
* * *
Anne Flintlock glanced up at the knock on her office door. Her visitor was someone she didn’t expect, but she quickly smiled and beckoned him in. “This is a pleasant surprise, Ty. What can I do for you?”
Ty smiled and sat down in the swivel chair opposite her. “I want to bend a few rules, but I thought it might be a good idea to get permission first.”
Anne frowned. “Why me and not Peter? If it’s anything to do with the team, he’s the one who-”
Ty shook his head. “It’s not a team matter. At least, not directly. It’s to do with Neil Rosewood. I believe you’ve met him.”
“Neil…Neil…” Anne’s eyes narrowed as she thought. “Young guy, still at school? Came here looking for Jim?”
“That’s him. Todd’s been taking care of him, and I’ve been helping. What happened with Dave has affected Neil pretty badly, though, and Todd and I are looking at some options to help Neil recover. That’s where the rule-bending comes in.”
Anne rocked back in her chair, her gaze never leaving Ty’s face. “Go on.”
“There’s two things. The first is access to the gym. I know it’s for the team and staff only, but we’re trying to encourage Neil to exercise regularly, and being able to bring him to the gym with us would help that. We’ll be able to keep an eye on him as well as getting him involved with more people. He’s still painfully shy at times.”
“There are insurance issues associated with that, though the main reason we don’t allow more open access is because the gym would get too busy for when the players need to use it.” Anne fixed Ty with a steely gaze. “You said there were two things.”
Ty grinned, though there was a nervous edge to it. “We were wondering if Neil would be allowed on the bus for the trip to Bendigo on Sunday. We haven’t mentioned the possibility to him because we didn’t know if it would be allowed, but if it were, it’ll get him out of home for most of the day. It would also give him a chance to absorb some good Leopard team spirit.”
“The main reason we don’t allow spectators on the bus is that there are too many. Without some clear guidelines as to who’s allowed and who’s not, it runs the risk of alienating our supporters. We don’t even allow wives and girlfriends on the bus because of the potential to disrupt player preparation.” Anne frowned. “If you want the rules to be bent, Ty—and I’m not averse to allowing it in the right circumstances - you’re going to have to do better than just make a request.”
Ty scratched his head while giving Anne a sheepish smile. “I did have one idea, but it’ll need Peter’s approval, since it becomes a team matter.” When Anne cocked her head and raised an eyebrow, he continued. “What if Neil was one of the runners? That would make him a staff member even if it’s an unpaid one. Or maybe he can help Mark and Jackie with carrying the first-aid gear.”
Anne stared for a moment while thinking hard. She remembered Neil and his plan to drop out of school. More importantly, she remembered why he was going to take that drastic step: his unfortunate home life. She wanted to help him, but she had to be careful of the potential consequences.
“Okay, Ty, I think that could work. We don’t normally include the volunteers as official staff with associated privileges, but we could make an exception for Neil.” She held up a hand to stop Ty’s grin. “You need to get Peter to tell me it’s okay with him. I’ll do some checking, but we might also need Neil to fill in an employment form. I want to make sure the club is covered if anything goes wrong, which means dealing with the insurance issues.” She smiled. “But I think we can do it.”
Ty leapt to his feet. “Thanks, Anne. I’ll let Todd know the good news, and we’ll work out how to break it to Neil.”
Anne scowled. “You don’t have good news yet, brat. You need Peter’s approval first.”
Ty waved a hand to dismiss that issue. “He’ll be fine. I’ll go see him now. Thanks again. Todd and I really appreciate your help.”
She smiled. “That’s what I’m here for, Ty. I can’t always bend the rules, but if it’s in a good cause, I’ll do my best.”
* * *
Clarissa glared. “What do you want?”
Liam gave her a smile, though he knew it wasn’t very convincing. He only had a short period of time before they would have to head to their next classes. “I thought we could work together to help Neil.”
“Why the fuck do you care?”
“Because you were right at the end of last term. Neil needs help. Doug keeps telling me he’s a loser, but the only reason I’ve managed to come up with for that is because we made him that way. We never gave him a chance to be anything else.”
Clarissa crossed her arms. “And this is supposed to convince me…how?”
“I saw him last weekend with a group of people. He was happy. He was cheerful. He was nothing like he was this morning before school. It was as if he were a different person.” Liam threw up his hands. “I’m feeling guilty, okay! I’ve done something wrong and I want to try to fix it. Is that so hard to believe?” Clarissa stared, drawing out the moment and making Liam uncomfortable. “What else do you want me to say?”
“You mentioned before school that Neil wanted to be with his friends. You know these people?” Her gaze was still hard and uncompromising.
“I know of them, and I’ve spoken with a couple of them. They’re a good bunch of people from what I can tell. If you’re willing to work with me to help Neil, I’ll give you the details.”
Clarissa frowned. “If you want to help him, you wouldn’t be bargaining. What are you really after?”
Liam winced. She knew him too well, and she had already sensed he had an ulterior motive. “Okay, I’ll tell you about them. All I ask is that you share anything you pick up with me. I want to fix my mistakes. Neil deserves better than what we’ve done to him.”
“I’m waiting…”
Liam took a deep breath. He knew he was almost out of time with the school bell to signal the next period due to sound at any time. “Neil is friends with some of the Lilydale Leopards football players and their girlfriends. I saw him last Saturday when I went to the game. He was part of a large bunch of spectators cheering on the team. He wasn’t by himself; he was interacting with the other people around him and seemed genuinely happy.” He gave Clarissa a sheepish smile. “He was a completely different person.”
Clarissa’s eyes narrowed. “If he was just a spectator, how do you know he’s friends with some of the players?”
“Because one of the players’ girlfriends told us that Neil was staying with her and her boyfriend.” Liam shrugged. “One of the players also worked at the same sports store that Neil worked at over the holidays. I’m guessing he’s the one who introduced Neil to the other guys on the team.”
“You seem to know an awful amount of information about Neil.” Clarissa stared suspiciously at Liam. “Why are you telling me?”
“Because I know you want to do something for Neil. And if I help you do that, maybe you can help me reverse some of the damage I’ve done.” Liam shrugged. “As I said, he was a completely different person from who he is at school.” Liam made himself stop before he added something that might warn Clarissa about his attraction.
“Hmm…” Clarissa’s frown seemed no longer directed at Liam. He hoped that meant she was at least provisionally accepting the information he had supplied.
“Clarissa, one more thing.” The school bell went off at that moment, and the two started to walk in the direction of their next class. “I’m pretty sure Neil doesn’t know I saw him at the football game on Saturday. It might be a good idea to not mention that to him. He doesn’t need the stress of knowing Doug, Rod, and I were there.”
Clarissa’s expression softened. Her frown held a tinge of perplexity. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll think about what you’ve said. We’ll talk again later.” She marched off, leaving Liam to mentally cross his fingers that he hadn’t made things worse.
* * *
Julie was stretching when Ty and Jim approached her. “Are you guys ready, or do you need some prep time?” she asked.
Jim glanced at Ty and received a nod in return. “We’re ready. We warmed up in the gym.”
“We’re going to do the same thing as I did with the brat last week. Did he tell you what it involves?”
Jim smiled. “Only in rough terms. He mentioned torture, sadism, and cruelty to animals.”
Julie laughed. She grinned at Ty. “And you’re the animal?”
Ty shrugged. “Close enough.” His expression went serious. “We’re going to try for a half-marathon, with ad-hoc sprints thrown in for fun. Right?”
“Almost correct.” Julie gave each of the guys a searching stare. “This is not for fun. What we’re aiming for is to maximise your potential. Both of you should be able to run the entire game. Last weekend, we put you both on the ball for half the game, and I’m sorry to say I was disappointed with the results. You both tried and went for as long as you could—that’s a positive—but neither of you were able to give your best for all of that time.”
Ty nodded. “Understood. Focus. Push through. Don’t stop.”
Julie fixed him with a stern look. “Slogans are only words. Unless you feel them here,” she tapped his chest, “they’re not going to do you any good. You also left off the most important one: be smart. You’re not running for the sake of running. You’re running to achieve a result. That result is to win games, but you win games as a team, not as an individual.”
“Got it.” Ty glanced at his teammate. “That was my mistake last year, playing as an individual.”
Julie turned her attention to Jim. “Dad, you normally run a fair amount in a game, but even you were looking ragged by the end of the match. You currently cover one wing, from the half-back line to the half-forward. You should be capable of covering more, and that’s why I told you to be here today.”
Jim nodded.
Julie smiled. “Okay, let’s get started.” They started to jog slowly around the boundary line of the oval. “I do have some good news for you guys, though. This is the last time I’m going to make you do this.”
Ty frowned. “We’re not going to build up our endurance after only two runs - one, in the case of Dad.”
“No, you’re not, but I’ve got other things to do besides babysitting you. After today, it’s up to you. If you want to achieve your goals, if you want to achieve your best, you’re going to have to motivate yourselves to do the work required without me cracking the whip.”
Jim glanced at Ty. “We’re going to have to find the time on our own for a run. It’s no longer an optional extra for the week. It’s now a required part of our training.”
Julie shook her head. “It’s not required. But if you don’t do it, you won’t achieve your potential. Whether you want to get there is up to you.”
Ty scowled at Jim. “I’m going to do it, Dad.” He then grinned. “What about you, old man?”
Jim frowned and then caught Julie’s eye. “Time for the first sprint, brat. Go!”
Ty was caught unaware as Jim and Julie took off. “Hey!” He was too far behind to catch them before they reached the goal posts at the southern end of the ground and slowed back to a steady jog. “That wasn’t fair.”
Julie raised an eyebrow. “Fair, brat? Do you expect your opponents to warn you when they’re about to run? It doesn’t work that way. Now, sprint!” She took off, leaving Jim and Ty behind.
Ty gritted his teeth. The previous week the sprints were no longer than half the length of the oval. These were almost the full length. He knew it was going to be a tough session, but he wasn’t going to give up. Even if he wouldn’t admit it to himself, he wanted his name to appear as one of the selections in the AFL draft at the end of the year. That meant working hard.
* * *
“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” Doug asked as he and Liam strode through the school grounds.
“The library. I need to create a new email account and then print off what I want to say. I’ll slip it into Neil’s locker when he’s not around.” Liam took two more steps before he realised that Doug had stopped. He looked back. “What?”
“The library? Seriously? You can’t expect me to spend my lunch break in the library!”
“You don’t have to come. I can do this by myself.” Liam gave Doug a wry grin. “You’ve done enough for me already, especially the secret-admirer idea, so I’ll catch up with you when I’m done.”
Doug stared, his lips pinched. “I think I’d better see what you’re going to print out. I don’t want you to make a fool of yourself. Well…more of a fool than chasing after that los-” Doug’s jaw slammed shut when Liam glared at him.
“Don’t mess this up for me, Doug.”
Doug held up his hands in surrender. “I won’t. I’m not going to stop telling you it’s a mistake, but I won’t interfere.” The two resumed their march towards the building that held the school’s library. “You know your note is going to have to be really carefully worded if you don’t want Four…er…Neil to freak out. If he even suspects we know, he’ll go off his rocker.”
Liam glanced around to make sure they couldn’t be overheard. He lowered his voice to make sure. “Yeah. I spent most of last period trying to work out what to say. It was driving me nuts until I realised that I couldn’t even mention the possibility of being his boyfriend. If I did and he thought the note was from a girl, he’d have nothing to do with it. If it was from a guy, he’d panic, wondering how they know he’s gay. I think I’ve come up with something, though. That’s why I need to create a new email account. He has to take the next step; I can’t do it. All I can do is show that I’m interested and leave a way for him to contact me without him knowing who I am.”
“He might demand to know. After all, you know who he is. He might freak out at the idea of someone he doesn’t know stalking him.”
Liam grimaced. “Yeah…. I hope it doesn’t come to that. If he insists on knowing who I am, then I’m caught. If I tell him, he’ll freak out. If I don’t, he won’t have anything to do with me.” He glared at Doug. “Don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it.”
Doug grinned. “I didn’t say anything. If I did, though, and I’m not going to, I’d just say ‘I told you so.’” He sighed. “Seriously, if this is what you want, I hope it works out. I can’t see how it can, but you never know…”
“I’m so fucking nervous. I thought about working on the note tonight at home, trying to make it perfect, but I want to give it to him today. I don’t want to wait, but I don’t want to fuck it up, either.” Liam gritted his teeth. “I just don’t fucking know what to do!”
Doug held the door to the library building open for Liam and followed him inside. With other students in easy earshot, the two stayed silent while they made a beeline to the computers. A glare from Doug was all that was needed to obtain the use of the two computers at the end of the row, with the younger boy who had been using the end computer quickly moving elsewhere.
“What do you think of this?” Liam asked as he turned the monitor to make it easier for Doug to see.
Hi, Neil.
I saw you at the game on Saturday. I went there to see Jim Henderson play, and I was surprised to spot you in your Leopards jacket. I wanted to go up and say hello, but you had too many people around you. I’m writing this note instead, and I hope you’ll write back.
Another Leopards Fan
[email]
Doug frowned as he read it. “It doesn’t say a lot.”
“I know, but I can’t say too much just yet. I hope it’s just enough to make him interested. The reference to Jim Henderson should be enough to make him realise it’s a gay guy writing it. I was going to say he looked good in his jacket, but I thought that was going too far. This way, what happens next is up to him.” Liam moved the monitor back and brought up a browser. “Now, I just need to create a new email account, add it to the note, print it off, and slip it into his locker.”
“He probably won’t reply.”
Liam sighed. “I know, but it’s worth a try. It’s the best I could come up with, and thinking about it more is more likely to drive me insane than make any real difference.”
Doug snorted. “You’re already insane. Going after him is all the proof I need.”
Liam chuckled. “Maybe. But if it works out, it’ll be worth it.”
Doug shuddered. “That makes me regret suggesting it in the first place.”
Ten minutes later, the two were back in the schoolyard. Both were scanning the area, looking for Neil.
“There he is.” Doug pointed to where Neil was sitting with Clarissa and two of her friends.
“Great! I’m going to drop off the note, and I’ll meet you back here.” Liam slapped Doug on the back. “Thanks, mate. I really appreciate your help.”
Doug scowled. “I really shouldn’t be doing this, but you’re obviously crazy and can’t be trusted to be left by yourself.” He gave Liam a half-smile. “I’m not going to wish you luck, though, because I hope this doesn’t work. You know that, don’t you?”
Liam chuckled. “Yeah, yeah. I know. You’ve made your feelings perfectly clear, but you’re still helping, so thanks.” His lips twisted into a hopeful smile as he glanced back at where Neil was sitting. “Time to go.”
* * *
To his surprise, Neil was starting to enjoy himself. Clarissa, along with her two friends Mary and Evelyn, were good company. After a couple of aborted attempts to drag him into the conversation, the three girls had left him largely alone. He was given the opportunity to join in at times, but there was no awkwardness when he generally declined. He listened, though, his face going red at times with the explicitness of some of the comments.
“…so I dumped him. He couldn’t get it up, so I’m guessing he’s gay, even if he’s denying it.” Evelyn winced. “Sorry, Clarissa. That was rude of me. I didn’t mean to remind you of Liam.”
Neil idly wondered if he should try to find out more about Evelyn’s ex-boyfriend. He hadn’t been paying a lot of attention, but he had picked up enough to know that the guy went to a different school, and so it wouldn’t be easy to track him down.
Clarissa waved a hand to dismiss Evelyn’s concerns. “Don’t worry about it. Jerk Face is history as far as I’m concerned.”
“I don’t know. Adam mightn’t be gay,” Mary said, her brow wrinkled in thought. “If it was Adam’s first time, he might’ve been too nervous. And didn’t you say he had been drinking? Maybe he’d had too much.”
Evelyn shrugged. “Bad luck, if that’s the case. He was starting to get boring anyway, so I’m better off without him.” She looked into the distance for a moment and then back at Clarissa. “Are you sure Liam’s history?”
“Of course, I’m sure! Why?”
“Don’t look, but he’s over there by the side of the building. I’ve been keeping an eye on him for the last five minutes, and every time I glance in his direction, he’s staring at you.”
Clarissa frowned and turned in the direction that Evelyn had indicated as did Neil and Mary. “I don’t see him.”
“I said not to look! He moved away as soon as you went to check on him.”
Neil had seen Liam and Doug ducking away. He had developed a quick eye for spotting his three bullies, and the hint from Evelyn had been enough to trigger his warning senses. He frowned. They were up to something, but he didn’t know what it was or who was the intended victim: himself or Clarissa.
“He’s probably waiting for us to finish. He spoke to me earlier, and he indicated he might want to speak to me again.” Clarissa shrugged. “I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“You’re speaking to him?” Mary asked, surprise evident in her tone.
“Yeah, why not? He’s a jerk, but otherwise he’s not that bad.” When Neil grunted, Clarissa went red. “Sorry, Neil. I should’ve said that he hasn’t been bad to me. He’s still a bastard for what he’s done to you.”
Evelyn smiled at Neil. “On the other hand, Clarissa’s done a great job with you. She told us she took you shopping a few weeks ago, and I just wanted to say that it’s made quite a difference. You’re looking quite smart. Sexy, even.” She licked her lips.
Neil swallowed as he edged away. “Thanks, but I…that is, I’m not…”
“Put your claws away and leave him alone.” Clarissa glared at Evelyn and then smiled at Neil. “Ignore her. She’s in heat and needs to get laid. She doesn’t like staying single for too long.”
Evelyn shrugged. “Guilty as charged.” She grinned at Neil. “No offence intended, but I like a guy who fights back when I attack. I’m sure you’ll make some girl really happy one day, but it won’t be someone like me.”
Neil relaxed as he felt a small sense of familiarity in her attitude. After a moment, he recognised where it came from, and he chuckled.
“What’s so funny?” Clarissa asked.
“I was just thinking that Evelyn and Helena would get along well as long as they weren’t both targeting the same guy.” Neil smiled as he mentally compared the two girls.
“Who’s Helena?” Evelyn asked.
“Ollie’s girlfriend. I stayed with them over Easter.” Neil’s smile disappeared as he recalled what else had happened over the long weekend.
“I don’t poach, so she wouldn’t have to worry about me.” Evelyn cocked her head. “Which school do they go to?”
Neil shook his head. “They’ve both finished school. Ollie’s nineteen. I think Helena’s the same age or a year older.”
“Where do you know them from? Is Ollie a cousin of yours?” Clarissa asked.
Neil scowled and lowered his head. He didn’t want to say anything. He realised he shouldn’t have said as much as he had. The Leopards were his escape from school and home, and he didn’t want school or home interfering with them.
There was a short pause, and then Clarissa turned to Mary. “You said you went sailing over Easter. How was it?”
“Cold.” Mary shivered. “I wouldn’t mind doing it again but not until summer returns.”
The girls continued to chat until the sound of the school bell over the PA system told them that lunchtime was over. Neil was going to trudge along behind them, as he shared his next class with both Mary and Clarissa, but after he slung his backpack over one shoulder, he found them lining up on either side of him. Evelyn waved goodbye, while the other two girls entwined their arms with his.
“Come on, Neil. Time to return to the torture.” Clarissa smiled as she and Mary tried to escort him towards the appropriate school building.
“I…I’ve got to get a book from my locker. I’ll see you there.” Neil pulled away from the girls and, after one backward glance, ran away. He wasn’t lying, though he didn’t need the book in question until later in the day.
When he reached his destination, he paused and rested his head on his locker for a moment. He wasn’t sure, but he felt that the girls were only trying to be friendly. Despite that, when they had taken his arms, he had felt a moment of panic. He didn’t want to be held. It had been years since he’d been physically attacked, but having two people holding his arms still brought back some bad memories.
Shaking his head in a vain attempt to dislodge the memory, he opened his locker. He was about to reach in and retrieve the book he wanted when a folded sheet of paper fell out. Frowning, as he couldn’t recall leaving a loose piece of paper lying around, he reached down and picked it up. Unfolding the paper, his eyes widened as he scanned the contents. He glanced around, but apart from a couple of other stragglers at their lockers, there was no one in sight.
Neil stuffed the piece of paper into the bottom of his backpack and snatched his book from the locker. He needed to hurry if he didn’t want to be late, but his mind was churning.
* * *
Clarissa ambushed Liam as he rushed out the door at the end of the school day. She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to the side. “Okay, buster, what did you want to talk to me about? I’ve got a question for you, too.”
“What do you mean?” Liam glanced past her, trying to keep Neil in view. It wasn’t a major disaster if he couldn’t, but he was planning on following Neil home. Despite having been at school for over five years with the guy, Liam didn’t know where Neil lived, and he wanted to fix that oversight.
“You were watching me at lunchtime, but I was with Mary, Neil, and Evelyn, so you didn’t approach. What is it you wanted to say?”
“Er…” Liam thought quickly. “I wanted to check if Neil had mentioned any of his friends. You know, the ones I told you about.” He stretched up, trying to look over the heads of the other students.
Clarissa frowned as she peered in the same direction as Liam, but her lack of height meant she had little chance of knowing who he was watching. She turned back. “Yes, he did. Do you know an Ollie or Helena?”
Liam’s attention snapped to his ex-girlfriend. “Helena? I…umm…” He grimaced, knowing he was caught. His reaction had given too much away. “Yeah, I think that was one of the people I spoke to there. She’s Ollie’s girlfriend, from memory.”
Clarissa stared and then nodded. “That’s what Neil said, too. Who’s Ollie?”
“One of the Leopards players. A small forward. Fast and agile.” Liam gave her a smile, hoping he could cut the conversation short. “I’m glad he’s starting to talk about them. It means he’s opening up and beginning to trust you.”
She narrowed her eyes. “That’s about all he said. After he mentioned them, he clammed up again.”
Liam frowned. “I wonder why.”
Clarissa shrugged. “No idea, but it confirms your story. At least, partly. I don’t know what game you’re playing, Liam, but if you hurt him again, a certain video is going viral.”
He cringed. He then realised that it was the first time she’d used his name since they broke up. His brow wrinkled as he stared at her. “I won’t hurt him, Clarissa. I promise.” He winced, as he knew he couldn’t leave it at that. “Or, rather, I don’t intend to hurt him. If I do, it’ll be an accident, not deliberate. I do want to make this right…but I don’t know how he’ll react. I want what’s best for him. Please, believe me.”
She stared for a moment, a faint frown on her face. “Strangely, I do believe you. I don’t know why.” She poked a finger into his chest. “If you’re making a fool out of me…”
Liam held up both hands. “I’m not. Honest!”
“Good. Don’t make me regret trusting you.” Clarissa turned and marched off before he could respond.
Liam stared after her for a second before he recalled his goal for the afternoon. He grimaced when he realised that Neil was no longer in view. Pushing his way through the crowd, he reached the gate that Neil usually took when leaving school. Liam jogged along the road and then smiled with relief when he saw his target in the distance. Slowing down, Liam proceeded to shadow Neil, keeping as far away as was practical.
He didn’t need to know where Neil lived, but he wanted to. There was no chance that either Neil or Clarissa would give him the information—he wasn’t even sure if Clarissa knew—so Liam had decided to trail Neil home. Whenever Neil made a turn, Liam would sprint up and then peer cautiously around that corner to see where Neil had gone. There was a moment of worry when Liam had given Neil too much space while crossing the train tracks, but he had eventually caught up enough to keep Neil in sight.
Twenty minutes later, Liam was whistling as he strolled home. He didn’t think he would ever need the information, but he now knew where Neil lived. The whistling faltered as Liam frowned. The route that Neil had taken was not the most direct route from the school. Indeed, it had appeared that Neil had gone significantly out of his way but with no discernible reason to do so.
At first, Liam thought it was because Neil had taken a circuitous path in case he was being followed, but he had never looked back. Then Liam wondered if it was habit from earlier days when Neil had been scared about a possible ambush. He scowled at that thought, as he didn’t like the implication.
Another thought crossed his mind. Could it be that Neil was reluctant to go home? Despite the horrors of school—and Liam knew that he’d played a part in making school a horror - could it be that Neil’s home life was even worse?
Liam stopped and stared back blindly in the direction of Neil’s house. He stood there for almost a minute before he shook his head and told himself he was being melodramatic. The path that Neil had taken had added less than ten minutes to the trip. That wasn’t enough to make a difference if Neil’s home life was bad. Liam grunted as he went back to his earlier idea that Neil took that route due to habit.
It wasn’t a pleasant thought.
* * *
Neil glanced at his phone and grinned. He hadn’t developed a habit of checking his phone regularly because until recently he never received messages. That was why he didn’t see the text from Ty until he arrived home. He had been in a good mood since receiving the anonymous note at the end of lunch, and a message from Ty was the icing on the cake.
After making sure his bedroom door was securely closed, he lay on his bed and selected Ty from his short contacts list. He held his breath as the ringing tones sounded, hoping Ty was available.
“Neil! I was beginning to wonder if you received my text.”
“G’day, Ty. Sorry, I didn’t see it until I got home. You said you had some good news.”
“I do! Of course, you might not think it’s good news, but I do, and I’m the only one whose opinion counts, so you have to agree with me.”
Neil chuckled. “How about telling me what the news is so I can decide for myself?”
“Nope. You have to agree that it’s good news first, and then I’ll tell you what it is.”
“Okay, it’s good news, whatever it is.” Neil was smiling. Ty’s enthusiasm, even over the phone, was contagious.
“Actually, there’s two bits of good news. Which one do you want first?”
Neil knew enough to know how to play the game. “The second one.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, but if you want to give me the other one first, I won’t object.”
“You’re too easy. Okay, I’ve pulled a few strings, and I managed to get you access to our gym. You’ll need to be accompanied, but it means you can use it without worrying about whether it’s allowed. Anne said you’ll need to sign a piece of paper to make you an unpaid employee of the club for insurance purposes, but that’s okay because that also helps with the second piece of good news.”
Neil’s forehead creased as he thought. “What do you mean, I need to be accompanied?”
“Don’t worry about it, mate. Let’s be honest, you’re not going to get to the gym unless you’re with one of us anyway, but it means that any time you’re staying at Todd’s place, you’ll be able to go to the gym. Now, about the second piece of good news…”
“Yes?”
“Are you doing anything next Sunday? If not, I’ve got a job for you to do.”
“I’ll need to check with Mum, but I probably won’t have any homework, so I should be free.”
“Great! In that case, how would you like to be one of the team’s runners for the game on Sunday?”
Neil frowned. “I’d love to, but the game’s in Bendigo. How am I supposed to get there?”
Ty chuckled. “That’s the other string I pulled. If you’re a runner, that makes you a staff member even if you’re unpaid, and Peter’s agreed to let you ride on the bus with the team. Now, you can’t tell too many people about this because the other runners have to make their own way to the game, but given the fact that you don’t have a car or a license yet, Peter said you could come with us.”
“Yes!”
“I take it that you’re thinking about it, then, but you’re not sure. Okay, to sweeten the deal I spoke to Todd earlier, and he suggested that if your parents approve, you can stay at his place on Saturday night, and one of us will take you home Sunday night. How does that sound?”
Some of Neil’s euphoria faded away. Staying with Todd would mean sleeping in Todd’s room with the associated temptations and frustrations. He knew it wasn’t Todd’s fault, but it was still difficult for him.
“Neil?”
“I’ll need to check with Mum, but, yeah, I’d like that.”
“Great! After you’ve done that, let me know and I’ll finalise things on my side. Todd said he’ll be calling you tonight after he gets home, so you can sort out those plans then. It’s going to be a great trip, Neil.”
“How long’s the bus ride?”
“I’ve been told it’s a bit over three hours in each direction. It’s the ground furthest from us, but we don’t go there every year. Roughly every second year, I believe. The bus is going to leave from the club’s car park at seven-thirty Sunday morning, which will get us there in plenty of time for the game at noon. We’re scheduled to get back to Lilydale around six to six-thirty, so you’ll be home around seven. If your parents let you, you can have dinner with us and we’ll drop you home afterwards, but only if your parents say it’s okay. You’ll have school the next day and you probably shouldn’t have a late night.”
“Thanks, Ty. I really appreciate this.”
“No problem, mate, but you need to do me a favour. You’ve got a bad habit, and you need to break it because it’s annoying the shit out of me.”
Neil cringed. “Sorry, Ty.”
“You just did it again! The name’s ‘brat’. Start using it, Neil, because sooner or later I’m going to stop answering to ‘Ty’. Got it?”
Neil laughed. “Okay, brat.”
“Much better! Check with your mum and let me know, but hopefully I’ll be seeing you bright and early on Sunday for a trip to Bendigo.”
After finishing the phone call, Neil lay on his bed for awhile as he considered the best way to approach his mother. He quickly discarded the idea of mentioning Bendigo, as she would want to know what he did there after he came back. The only thing he’d be doing there would be watching a football match, something he couldn’t tell her.
Once he had his plan of attack worked out, Neil headed down the hallway. He found his mother in the lounge room, ironing some shirts while half-watching the television.
“Mum, I just had a phone call from Ty. Since it’s another long weekend coming up, he was wondering if I’d like to spend Sunday and maybe Saturday with him and the other guys. Todd’s offered to put me up for Saturday night.”
Mary Rosewood frowned. “I don’t know, Neil. You were away for all last weekend, and school’s started up again. It sounds like you’re trying to make this a regular thing, and that’s not going to be good. You need to concentrate on your schoolwork.”
“It’s only one more time, and only because ANZAC Day falls on a Friday this year. It’s the last long weekend until June, so…please? I’ll spend ANZAC Day doing any homework I have, not that I expect a lot, since we’ve only got school for three days this week, and that will mean I’m free for Saturday and Sunday.” Neil gave his mother a pleading look, hoping that she would see how much this meant to him.
“Last weekend didn’t go well…”
Neil frowned and then forced his expression back into a smile. “That wasn’t anyone’s fault. I had a good time up until Dave had his breakdown. Even after that, the other guys were really supportive of me and each other. You can’t blame them for what happened.”
Neil’s mother stared at him for several seconds, her lips pursed. Finally, she nodded. “Okay, but only as long as all your homework is done.”
Neil grinned and moved over to give her a hug. “Thanks, Mum.”
Neil was looking forward to when Todd would finish work. He had a lot to tell him. Not only the fact that he’d be able to spend another couple of days with Todd and the guys, but also about the note and how someone at school wanted to talk with him.
* * *
“…and he wants me to send him an email!” Neil’s voice rose with excitement.
There was something odd about the situation, and Todd was feeling uneasy. “Can you tell me exactly what the note said?”
“Just a sec and I’ll go get it.” Todd waited for Neil to return to the phone. “Got it!”
Todd listened, his worries growing as Neil read out the note. Todd asked him to read it a second time, which Neil did, though the tone in Neil’s voice indicated he was confused by the request. This time Todd used a scrap of paper to make a rough copy of the contents.
“Thanks, Neil. Yeah, I’ll have to agree with you; the note was almost certainly written by a gay guy…or someone who wants to come over as being gay without being too obvious.”
Todd could hear Neil’s scowl over the phone. “Why would someone want to do that? No one at school knows I’m gay. He’s only writing to me because I’m another Leopards fan. No, he has to be gay, and he’s shy. I don’t know who it is, but if I can get him to like me, I might be able to get myself a boyfriend!”
Todd’s heart went cold. There were people at school who knew Neil’s gay: the three bullies. Unable to prove it, Todd instinctively knew the note had to be from one or more of them. It was stretching coincidence for there to be another gay guy from school at the game who had also taken an interest in Neil. It only took a moment for him to select a prime suspect for who wrote the note: Liam, with Doug being the other main possibility.
It all came down to the motive. Neil had told Todd that Liam had tried to apologise earlier in the day. If the intent behind the note was relatively innocent, Liam was the obvious suspect. If the note was part of a complicated scheme to bully Neil, though Todd couldn’t think of how that would happen, then Doug was the likely ringleader.
The key questions that remained were 1) why the note was slipped into Neil’s locker and 2) whether he should say anything to Neil about his suspicions.
Todd gritted his teeth. Neil had been depressed the night before, and he was now happy and cheerful. Receiving that note had made the difference. Todd couldn’t destroy that without proof that it was from Neil’s bullies. All he could do was his best to make sure Neil didn’t put too much hope into the person behind that email address.
“Maybe it’s a girl, Neil. Just because Jim’s gay, that doesn’t mean girls won’t want to watch him play.” Todd didn’t believe it, but he wanted to dampen Neil’s enthusiasm.
“But why mention Jim at all if that’s the case? It doesn’t make sense. The only reason to mention him is to give me a hint. That hint has to be that the writer is a gay guy who goes to my school. He’s probably trying to sound me out to see what I think of Jim, and that will help him decide if he can come out to me.” There was a short pause before Neil continued at a slower pace. “I can understand being scared to come out. I am, too. Coming out anonymously via an email might be all he’s able to do at the moment. Unfortunately, I can’t do the same. He knows who I am.”
Todd grimaced, though he was glad that Neil wasn’t going to come out to the stranger. “Just be careful, Neil. Don’t tell him too much until you find out who he is. If he asks to meet you somewhere, let me know. I’ll make sure one of the team is nearby in case of trouble.”
“Thanks, Todd, but I don’t expect that to happen anytime soon. It’s clear to me that he’s too shy to approach me in public. I suspect it’ll be awhile before he comes out to me, let alone meet me in person.”
Todd hoped it would be a very long time before that happens. If the note writer was Liam, as Todd suspected, it didn’t bode well for Neil. It would be even worse if the note had come from Doug.
Copyright © January 2015 by Graeme.
The author copyrights this story and retains all rights. This work may not be duplicated in any form — physical, electronic, audio, or otherwise — without the author's expressed permission.
All applicable copyright laws apply.
Disclaimer: Some public figures have been included in this story for effect. This is fiction, and the words and actions of those characters are mine and not those of the real person. All other individuals depicted are fictional, and any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental.
I would like to thank trebs, C James and MikeL for the advice they gave on early versions and rec for editing this story for me. A special thank you to ricky for that crucial final review before publication.