Jared Forrest moved quietly. He did not want to wake Libby. It had been a long, tiring day for both of them but Jared was more concerned about Libby. She had spent the day with Rachel, his brother Sim’s wife. Rachel had just had her fifth child, another girl. Jared smiled at the thought. They had been ten boys at home, and Sim, who so wanted a son, now had five daughters. Jared smiled because Sim would act disappointed but he’d dote on Mary Pearl just as he doted on his other daughters.
Jared looked at his sleeping wife. Asleep, she looked to be her cheerful, affable, beneficent self but Jared wondered how the day had affected her. She always remained buoyant and gregarious and was genuinely thrilled with each new family birth but with each she also felt more strongly the heartbreak of her own five miscarriages. But in her munificent mind, her heartbreak paled beside the disappointment and heartbreak of her husband. Jared so wanted children and she loved him so much. Why could she not give him that which he most wanted in this world?
Six of Luke Forrest’s sons had remained in ranching. Each of the boys owned and ran his own spread but they found it financially advantageous to buy and market collectively. They had, therefore, formed a loose corporation which made frequent communication with one another necessary. Today had been their monthly meeting and Jared had ridden the twenty miles to his father’s place, spent the day doing business, and ridden the very tiring twenty miles back. Any other time he would have fallen in bed and been asleep within minutes. Tonight, however, he was wide awake with excitement and a mild apprehension.
He had been pleased to find the letter from Dodd that Libby had left on the kitchen table for him, and he was thrilled with its contents. He had often thought of adopting a child but would never suggest it to Libby. Her demeanor notwithstanding, he knew her grief and sense of guilt. He himself carried some guilt because he felt that he could never quite make her understand that as much as he wanted children, she was what he really wanted and if it was not in God’s plan that they have children; having her was enough. Should he tell her of Dodd’s suggestion? It seemed so right. When they had talked of names they might give their children, Peter had often been mentioned. Would she accept this as God’s way of fulfilling their desire for a family or would she see his suggestion that they adopt as the ultimate evidence of his disappointment and of her failure as a woman and a wife?
But it wasn’t a decision that had to be made now. When Libby did something, she really did it. She had probably done all of Rachel’s washing, cooked all the meals, done up her ironing, bathed the baby and played heartily with the older girls. Sim’s oldest was eight and a real ball of fire. She loved her Aunt Libby and could talk her into anything. Jared smiled again as he envisioned a worn-out Libby and the girls in a lusty game of tag after the supper dishes were done. He knew that Libby had worked and played herself to the point of exhaustion. He might not sleep tonight but he would not wake her.
It had been a beautiful day and now the full moon cast the undulating shadows of tree branches on the walls of the room. Jared studied them, hoping their hypnotic movements would put him to sleep. But sleep was not to be his. He knew the boy would be with a Forrest somewhere. Dodd did not have to come right out and say it but he loved the boy. Every word Dodd had written of him made that very clear. And, as he thought, Jared realized that, although he had never seen him, he too loved Pete.
Jared thought of each desperately disappointing, heart-wrenching loss. Libby had carried one almost five months. He wasn’t sure he could face another loss. He did not want to love Pete just as he did not want to love the last three children they had lost. He knew that Pete was a live, separate human being but he was just as invisible as those who had so briefly grown inside Libby. From the time she had told him, Jared could not help himself. He loved those children and now, again, he could not help himself. From the very instant he knew about him, Jared loved Pete.
Jared looked again at Libby’s face. She was perhaps prettier now than when they had first met and in the bright moonlight, she absolutely glowed. God, he loved that woman. He would rather die than cause her additional sorrow.
She rolled over and as she did so, she woke enough to realize that she was leaning against Jared. She kissed him and sleepily said, “You’re home.”
Jared kissed her and said, “Go back to sleep. You’ve had a hard day.”
“I’ve had a wonderful day. Mary Pearl is so cute and… oh, did you see Dodd’s letter?”
“Yes.”
“What did he have to say? Is he all right? He almost never writes and when he does, it makes you wonder.”
“He’s fine. He’s working for Jess Roker over near Lawton and he’s seen Uncle Henry Glenn.”
“Why would he see Uncle Henry? I thought he didn’t want anyone to know who he was.”
In the room lit by bright moonlight, Libby could clearly see the expression on her husband’s face. She knew immediately that there was more to the letter than just that Dodd was all right and had seen Uncle Henry. “What’s the rest of it, Jared?”
Jared laughed. “I really shouldn’t have to tell you as well as you can read my mind. You do know that I love you so much, don’t you?”
“Are you trying to change the subject or does that have something to do with Dodd’s letter?”
Jared knew that stalling was futile. She read him like a book and she’d keep after him until he told her. He had to tell her but do it in a way that would protect her feelings.
“Have you ever heard of Eli Laker?”
“Jared, tell me what Dodd said.”
“I’m trying to. Have you ever heard of Eli Laker?”
“Only that he’s an awful man who lives over around Lawton. Oh, my God! Did Dodd kill him?”
“No, but Dodd did work for him for two weeks. Laker had some horses to break and Jess lent Dodd to Laker. That Dodd’s something. He hasn’t changed a bit. You remember how he could always get his way and we’d all end-up doing things for him we never thought we’d do just because he was so lovable and such a sweet talker? Looks like he’s doing the same thing to Jess. Jess paid him his regular wage while he was at Laker’s and he got five dollars a head for the horses he broke.”
“Jared, get to the point.”
Jared took a deep breath. He took on an expression that Libby knew well. It was deep, deep love and compassion. It said that he wanted most in the world for her to know that in spite of everything, she was loved and needed. It was the expression she had seen each time she’d lost a baby. It was the expression that showed her the soul of this good, good man.
“Jared?”
“Laker had an eleven year old bound-boy on the place.”
Jared stopped talking and looked deeply into Libby’s eyes, looking for a sign as to which direction to go next. If he saw hurt, he wasn’t sure what he’d say next. But he didn’t have to figure that out. What he saw was a glimmer of hope.”
“And?”
“And the boy was being treated so badly that Dodd took him from Laker and Uncle Henry has given custody of the boy to Dodd. Dodd is not ready to settle down and he wondered if we’d consider adopting him. He must be quite a boy. Dodd wrote of him in the same manner that my brothers speak of their children—with pride and love. Dodd loves the boy, Libby, and God help me, so do I. Can you understand this, Libby? I never saw any of our babies but I loved them. Libby, I…”
She threw her arms around him. “Oh, Jared. This is God’s way of answering my prayers. I’ve wanted to adopt for a long time but I was afraid you’d…”
“You, who can read me like a book, were afraid I’d not accept a child not of my own loins. Libby, they’re all God’s children but I was afraid that if I suggested it you’d feel a failure.
“Jared, let’s just say some parts of a book are harder to understand than others. Let’s not talk about why right now. Let’s talk about our son. What’s his name?”
“Peter.”
Jared lit the lamp and read her Dodd’s letter. Both of them intermittently laughed and cried. The situation was too big for any one emotion. They mused at the future, reveled in their good fortune and in each other’s love and went peacefully to sleep in each other’s arms.
Pete proved not to be a very patient patient. The first several days he was sore enough that he was glad not to have to move around much. When he was undressed, Dodd saw that the boy’s buttocks were deeply bruised. Dodd realized that area had taken the force of the fall and was then concerned that there might be some spinal injury. In a day or two, that fear was alleviated because Pete could easily move his toes, feet and legs. Pete hurt so many places that even lying in bed was uncomfortable but it was much preferred to the thought of having to get up and walk.
When the worst of the soreness was gone, however, it was quite a different story. Pete had worked hurt many times and could see no sense in staying in bed when he’d been hurt twice as much and Laker still made him work. Dodd tried to explain the importance of lying still because of the danger of puncturing a lung but Pete had never seen a lung and he couldn’t believe that anything about him was so fragile that a little running around would poke a hole in it.
Harriet Roker and Dodd had a real problem keeping the rambunctious boy in bed for a week. Harriet wasn’t sure that long was necessary. She said that she’d felt around on Pete’s side and she didn’t think anything was broken. She said that her boys were always getting hurt and she was a firm believer in, “Get them up as quick as you can. Get that blood flowing. They’ll heal faster.” But Dodd had been taught at Harvard that you can’t always tell by feel and that it’s better to be cautious with possible bone fractures in the area of vital organs. Harriet didn’t think much of book learned doctors. She felt raising eight children and the wisdom of the ages passed on from mother to daughter for probably centuries made her more qualified than any man, book learned or not.
Harriet was, however, a lady and one to mind her own business. Pete was Dodd’s boy so she kept her thoughts to herself. But she worried; she was sure that Pete’s blood, just lying there, would get lazy and everyone knew that lazy blood caused infections and sometimes even pneumonia.
Pete fussed to get up on the third day and Dodd found that he could be a doctor to this boy he loved and became quite stern with him. He found that love occasionally forced one to do and be whatever it took to protect the one you loved.
Pete had learned that Dodd meant business when he spoke firmly. He had lost the use of his horse for a day several time because he had to find out for sure if Dodd meant what he said about cussing. But he was puzzled now. He cussed on purpose. He could understand punishment for that. But he got out of bed when he had to go or when he just forgot and for that Dodd offered to do something he’d never done before. He told him that if he didn’t stay in bed, he’d get a switching.
Now that just didn’t make sense. He was already hurt. Why would Dodd want to hurt him more? He asked Dodd that. It still didn’t make sense but it did help him remember when Dodd asked him which he’d rather have, a sore behind or a grave. That scared Pete and Dodd was sorry he’d said it but it did keep Pete in bed.
Harriet allowed Pete out of bed after a week but he was told to be very careful and particularly to stay off his horse. Dodd had gone back to the roundup camp after three days. He had complete trust in Harriet but he couldn’t keep his mind off Pete so he came back on Saturday evening just to see the boy. Pete loved his horse and Dodd thought having the horse near him would cheer him up. It did but it also tempted him to disobey. Pete didn’t get a chance to ride but it wasn’t because he didn’t try. Lord knows what would have happened to him if Becky, not out of spite but out of worry, had not gone running to her mama for that’s what she called Harriet Roker now.
Harriet, Pete found, could be just as tough as Dodd. She said if she couldn’t trust him outside, she’d just put him back to bed. She did and since Pete didn’t know her well enough to test her, he stayed there—for another whole week.
But it wasn’t that bad. Even before the end of the first week, Becky decided that Pete was hers to take care of. She had the same feeling for Pete as he had for her and she didn’t want him switched the first week and she felt kind of bad about telling on him even though she knew she’d done the right thing. She tried to help Pete occupy his time by bringing him books to read. But Pete’s schooling had been shoddy and infrequent and he could barely read. Becky saw her duty. She would teach Pete to read and Pete soon found that when Becky decided something, it was going to happen.
Becky’s first few days with Harriet Roker were days of both apprehension and wonder. She was anxious, as any child would be, about her new life. She saw, right away, some qualities in Harriet she had seen in her mother but Harriet was not her mother and Becky didn’t know how to react to some of what Harriet was.
Becky was also awed by the house. She had imagined herself living in a fancy house many times but in her wildest imagination it was never as fancy as this. She had read of the fine things that were in medieval castles but she was now sure that they had been as trashy as that mountain cabin compared to this. Becky was afraid to touch anything so she just sat for the first several days. Harriet thought it was grief and adjustment but it was really awe and fear that she might break something.
Harriet did know how to deal with Becky’s feelings. She reassured the child and expressed affection and concern but she let the girl open up at her own pace. By the end of the first week, Becky had relaxed some but she did not really become her confident, outgoing self until Harriet’s daughter, Irene, brought her children to meet her new ‘sister’.
Irene’s oldest child was eleven, just about a year older than Becky. Her name was Flora and it wasn’t really a good name for her because no grass grew on her. Flora was an active, outspoken and assertive child. She was not a naughty child but she certainly was not a passive one either. She was confident but not arrogant, assertive but not rude, intelligent but not condescending, and demanding of her share and her space but not selfish. She had six younger brothers and sisters and she willingly assumed her share of the work that such a large, young family created, but she was just as willingly and enthusiastically eleven years old.
Becky could not remain passive and withdrawn with that lively group. They were a happy bunch, those seven Brians, and obviously delighted that she was now part of their family. Becky had always sensed a kind of condescension and rejection by other children when she had been taken to town but with these Brians she felt equal and liked. It took her back, somewhat. She wasn’t sure how to act around other children who liked her. She’d never had that experience before, but with Flory coaxing her to play and ten-year-old Clinton teasingly calling her Aunt Becky, very soon Becky had forgotten her apprehension and was her confident, somewhat playfully impudent self.
Her manner and her mode of expressing herself amused and delighted the Roker women, for she was much like Flory, and Flory was much like her mother and her grandmother. Becky fit right in and she was soon being teased and praised and hugged and she knew she had found a home.
Deak had often taken Becky to town with him and Becky had looked with envy at the pretty dresses and carefree play of the town girls her age. Irene had brought some of Flory’s outgrown dresses and both Irene and Harriet were busy making new ones. Irene had made dresses alike for her four daughters and she had enough material left to make a dress for Becky.
Pete should have known all this the night Deak died and he couldn’t sleep, thinking about Becky. He didn’t have to worry. Those Rokers knew how to see to a child’s feelings and they knew how to make a frightened little girl know she was wanted and loved and a valued member of the family. Before the Brians left that first day, Becky knew that she had the pretty dresses and the carefree life she had envied and she figured that if Irene was calling Becky her sister, Becky should call Harriet what Irene called her. From then on, Harriet was Mama to Becky.
Pete wasn’t thrilled with Becky’s insistence on teaching him to read. His inability to do so had been a source of embarrassment, and therefore anger, since he started school. The orphanage kids went to the township school and the teacher, Mr. Trask, didn’t like any of them. His ridicule and condescension created a tension in most of them so that concentration was next to impossible. Just the thought of having to read got Pete all tense and angry. In any other situation, Pete would have flatly refused to even try.
But Pete was flat on his back and Becky was the most persistent little girl he’d ever known. After a while it was just easier to let her have her way than to be angry. It was bad enough to be stuck in bed. No sense in adding to the misery by being angry. Pete decided that he’d just act like he was trying.
Becky was persistent but she was also very patient and very good at explaining things to Pete. She told him about sounds and how to think what the word must be from what you had already read. Pete always could think things out well and he was surprised to learn that that’s what most of reading was. You just learned the sounds and if a word started with ‘b’ and it was a long word but from the rest of the things you had read, ‘building’ made sense there, you knew that was the word. Sometimes you could tell what a word was just by how it looked. You didn’t have to take the time to sound out every word like the school teachers made him do. Pete had hated that. By the time you got a lot of those words sounded out, you forgot what you were reading about in the first place.
Pete didn’t want to act like it, but when he discovered that he could read and nobody made fun of him if he made a mistake, he realized that he liked to read. Dodd had told him many really good stories and Pete loved stories. Being able to read them himself made him want to learn how to read better and by the time he was finally let out of bed, it was Pete who was after Becky and Mama (Harriet had also become Mama to Pete) to help him with words he just couldn’t figure out. There weren’t many of them but some of those stories were so interesting Pete just had to know what happened next and once in a while it was one word he couldn’t think out that told you what it was. While Pete would never consciously admit it, he was very proud of his developing skill and took every opportunity to show it off to Harriet and Becky, and to Dodd when he made his weekend visits.
Dodd came to see Pete every weekend but he allowed Harriet to talk him into leaving Pete with her for a month. Part of Harriet’s motivation was a concern that, if Pete had broken ribs, he should have proper time to heal, but her real motivation was that she just loved having children around. She also knew of Dodd’s intent that Pete live with Jared and Libby. Harriet thought some experience at family living would serve the adjustment well and, while the separation did not decrease Pete’s love for Dodd, it did give him a chance to wean himself away from Dodd a bit.
Another thing that made his time in bed a little more tolerable for Pete was Clinton’s visits. Clinton had many girl cousins living nearby but all of his boy cousins lived too far away for him to see often. The idea of a boy near his age close enough to play with often really thrilled him. Clinton spent time in Pete’s room but two lively boys were not conducive to convalescence. Clinton’s grandma had to become quite firm with him, at first to get him to settle down but ultimately to keep him out of Pete’s room. Pete was still experiencing considerable pain and Dodd had insisted that the boy stay in bed. The problem was they were boys and they didn’t sit quietly and visit. Too often, in spite of his pain, Pete was tempted to join in some rowdy play, and out Clinton would go.
Although to Pete it seemed forever, his time in bed did pass. He missed Dodd but he became aware that he really didn’t want to go back to the roundup camp. He felt a little guilty about preferring this new life to being with Dodd but he couldn’t help it. He still loved Dodd and had to see him often but he also loved being a child and he loved the gentleness of Mama Harriet. He fell quickly into the routine of family life and he was gaining new insights into his value as a person. He knew Dodd loved him but he still did not quite understand how to receive unconditional love. Although he was not consciously aware of it, he certainly knew how to love unconditionally. But his own worth had been determined by the work he had done for so long that he still felt that he had to work hard to deserve Dodd’s love. When he realized that he was doing nothing to help Dodd but that Dodd still loved him and had to be with him, he began to grasp that it was him—not what he did—that Dodd loved. It occurred to Pete that he’d always known that but never really understood it until now.
Dodd had taught Pete to love but it was the time with Harriet and Becky that taught Pete how to be a child. Pete had been playful and boyish at the roundup camp but that was a man’s world. The Rokers’ home was the real world with women, to whom he was valuable and loved, not just additional work as was the case in the orphanage or a servant as was the case at the Lakers’, and other children who were also valued and loved, and Pete was their equal. Mistakes and even intentional misbehavior were treated more as an opportunity to teach than to punish, and Pete found himself being kind to the other children out of kindness rather than for survival.
He loved to go with Becky to the Brians’ home. He and Clinton became fast friends, just as Becky and Flory were, and although he had chores to do, it was with Becky and the Brians that Pete learned to play. He missed Dodd and frequently would ride out to the roundup camp just to see him. All the men were glad to see him and they let on like they’d gotten way behind since Pete had been hurt. Pete had liked the way the boys made over him and what he did. That had made him feel valuable and almost like a man. He was proud of the work he had done but he now completely understood that he was loved and that people were proud of him, not because of what he did but just because he was alive. He had liked the camp and being treated like a man but now he liked just being a kid better. Anyway, they had moved the roundup camp and he and Dodd no longer had the line shack to sleep in. Dodd didn’t want Pete bedding down on the open prairie and he felt the boy had already spent too much time with the coarse talk and actions of the men. Dodd wanted Pete to stay at the Rokers’ and Pete was now secure enough in himself and in Dodd’s love to be willing to do that.
During one of his weekend visits while Pete was proudly demonstrating for Dodd his increasing reading skills, Dodd said, “I have something here you might like to read.”
He handed Pete a letter. Both Jared and Libby had written of their pure joy at the anticipation of Pete becoming their son. Dodd had often talked to Pete about Jared and Libby and Pete understood that he would live with them one day. Pete loved Dodd but he also trusted him completely so he knew that if Dodd felt he must leave Pete with Jared and Libby, there was a very good reason. Since Pete had been at the Rokers’, he was beginning to get the feel of family living and he often fantasized about his own family. He already thought of Jared as his father and Libby as his mother and even though he had never met them, he missed them.
Pete looked up from the letter with tears in his eyes. Dodd had wanted him and Mama Roker had wanted him, but his Mom and Dad wanted him more than anything in the world. He reached up and hugged Dodd. “When can we go home?”
“Looks like the work will be finished in a couple of weeks. I made a promise, Pete. I think you understand why I need to keep that promise. It won’t be that long. You like it here at the Rokers’ don’t you?”
“Yes, bu— Dodd, how can you love somebody you ain’t never seen?”
“Pete, I’m surprised at you. You know that’s not the right way to talk.” Becky was a hard taskmaster.
Pete and Becky had developed an almost brother-sister relationship. They fussed sometimes but they were also very protective of each other. Becky was ‘educated’ and could help Pete learn things he needed to know. But Becky had had no real social opportunities and Pete, though most of them weren’t pleasant, had had many and had learned to cope. Since Dodd, he was learning to trust people and he found also that he loved being with people. He was a gregarious little thing and within minutes he had made a friend of anyone he met. Becky could teach him reading and proper speech but he could teach her how to relate to people and they both seemed to know the value each represented to the other. So Pete tolerated and even appreciated Becky’s corrections and Becky tried to copy Pete’s ways with people.
Pete re-asked the question in a manner of which Becky would approve. “Dodd, can you love somebody you have never seen?” Dodd felt a touch of what was perhaps jealousy and definitely emptiness at Pete’s question. He had become used to being loved and depended upon and, while he knew his decision was the right one, he also knew that he could never again live without love and companionship. He had not kept in touch with Elizabeth Hatcher and he didn’t even know for sure where she was. But Dodd knew where he’d be going after he had gotten Pete settled with Jared and Libby.
Dodd had gone to Carson City with his father in 1860 when he was seventeen, just before he left for the east. Luke Forrest had become the major stockholder in the Carson City Bank and he wanted to get to know Herbert Hatcher, the bank president. The two men became immediate and fast friends.
Luke had chosen to invest in Carson City because he eventually wanted to get into silver. His ranch had been very successful and, since he had such a large family, Luke thought it wise to diversify. He knew that not all of his sons were the ranching type and he knew that it was not wise to put all your eggs in one basket.
Luke had started investing in mining soon after the Comstock Lode was discovered in 1859. He had made a small investment in the smelter in Virginia City and slowly accumulated a larger percentage of that business. He then began to buy mining claims but insisted that banking remain his primary focus. Banking, he was sure, had the best long-range possibilities. The silver might run out but people would always need banks.
In 1863, however, he had sent Josh to Carson City to open the Luke Forrest and Sons Silver Mining Company. The mining claims he had purchased were all south of Virginia City, the center of the Comstock mining activity, and they had grown to the point that Luke wanted a family member there to manage them. He settled Josh in Carson City rather than Virginia City because he knew that to be the more permanent of the two and because of the rowdy nature of the boom mining town.
Josh, James and Matt had opened the Luke Forrest and Sons Silver and Gold Exchange, a banking and precious metals business, in San Francisco in 1856. The Forrests had purchased mining claims in California but that business was well grounded and Josh could be spared to see to the family’s growing business in the Comstock. Dodd’s interest in Elizabeth in 1860 was certainly not romantic. She was twelve, a beautiful child—bright and fun-loving and at the age at which girls are subject to crushes. Dodd liked her. She was funny and full of life and he was amused by her solicitous attention. He even answered her letters but was careful not to give any impression other than friendship.
They had continued to write off and on while he was at Harvard. Before Dodd had completed his medical studies, Elizabeth had moved east, to Vassar College, just opened, and the first women’s college that was something other than a finishing school. They wrote until Dodd left for his saddle tramping. Their letters remained just friendly, but as he got older Dodd began to have tender—and now he knew, definitely romantic—feelings toward that little girl who, so far as Dodd knew, had become the first woman college graduate in Nevada. He was anxious about what he might learn in Carson City but he knew that he had to go there.
It had been so long since they’d written and much longer since they’d seen each other. Dodd was, perhaps, thinking as much of Elizabeth as he was of Pete when he answered, “Yes, Pete, you can love someone you’ve never seen.”
Libby Forrest’s hands trembled as she tried to open the envelope. She knew from the postmark and the childish writing that it was a letter from Pete—a letter from her son. She paused, thinking she should wait until Jared was there. This was, perhaps a moment they should share but she also knew that it would be several hours before Jared arrived home and she knew that if she did not read the letter, she would get nothing done.
She took the letter from the envelope and held it to her heart. Could this really be happening? Could she really be about to ‘hear’ the words of her own child?
Becky and Harriet had helped Pete with form and spelling but the thoughts were his.
“Dear Daddy and Mama.”
Libby again pressed the letter to her heart. She could not, right now, read further. Those were words she thought she’d never have addressed to her. At first, it was just the tears that slowly filled her eyes that made the reading impossible, but as she mused on that salutation, the hope and anticipation in her soul burst forth in violent sobs of thankfulness and joy—and of love.
“I want Dodd to bring me home but he made a promise to Papa Jess so we can’t come until the branding’s done. Dodd says about two weeks. Dodd says you can love folks you have never seen and since I had Dodd, I know how love feels. I love Dodd so I know I love you because I feel the same way when I think about you as I feel when I think about Dodd. I’ve come to know that when you love folks, if you’re not with them, you miss them. I miss you.
“Mama, Dodd says your hair is like ripe wheat and you’re real pretty. Daddy, Dodd says you’re bigger than he is but how you are is some like him—soft and gentle. I try to think how you look when I’m trying to go to sleep at night and sometimes I miss you so much, I cry.
“I love Mama Harriet and Becky too but they aren’t my family. You and Dodd and a whole lot more people Dodd told me about but I can’t remember are my family.
“I reckon Dodd told you I got hurt some but not too bad. I saw from how Irene can get about her young ’uns, mamas worry. I didn’t want to tell you about me getting hurt, Mama, because I don’t want you worrying but Mama Harriet said if I was her young ’un, she’d want to know. I don’t know that much about mamas so I did like she said but don’t go to worrying, Mama. I’m fine now.
“I reckon Dodd told you about my horse and I got a lot more I want to tell you but I don’t like this writing. Becky makes me do it but I’m really better at telling than I am at writing. So some things I want you to know are going to wait until I get home.
“You can’t really tell how I am from this letter writing. I think you should know that I don’t always talk right. When I’m telling I say things like ain’t and done when it should be did, and I get fussed at by Becky. I want to keep learning to talk right. Mama, will you help me when I don’t have Becky anymore?
“Dodd let me read the letter you sent him and I know you love me. Sometimes when I’m trying to go to sleep, I try to think out how you can love folks you’ve never seen. I don’t have it thought out but I know you can because you have never seen me and you love me and I love you.”
The letter was signed, “Your Son, Pete.”
Libby worked in a kind of euphoric trance the rest of the day. It was almost two weeks since she knew about her son and within days of the first letter, she had his room ready and both she and Jared had bought things they thought he’d need or just wanted him to have. They had depended on Lukie, Scamper’s boy, who was also eleven, to advise them on things Pete might like. Lukie had so many suggestions Jared told him that if they bought them all, they’d have to build on a room just to keep them in. From what Dodd had said about Pete in the letter, they did go along with Lukie on the rifle and the fishing pole. When it came to other toys, they decided to wait and let Pete pick out what he wanted.
They bought clothes in several sizes, some the same, some larger and some smaller than would fit Lukie. They knew that some of them would have to fit and there were plenty of smaller boys in the Forrest clan and in the Schultz clan—Libby’s brothers and sisters—for those that were too small. Those too big, they’d keep and let Pete grow into them.
Libby was a bit surprised and embarrassed at her excitement. She couldn’t keep her mind focused and sometimes she seemed to herself to be as flighty and giddy as a new bride. She felt that she had always met life with thought-out resolve and consistency, but there were times now when she wasn’t sure what she was doing. Her mind was always on Pete.
She had wanted to go get Pete as soon as Dodd had told them about the boy, but after thinking about it, she agreed with Dodd and Harriet Roker. Too many changes too fast would be hard on the boy and letting the anticipation build would make for a quicker bonding than taking him abruptly from people and places he loved and trusted. It was the hardest thing they had ever done but both Libby and Jared agreed that it was the way it should be done.
Jared was really no better. Everything he did now he did with only half a mind. The rest of his mind was imagining doing the same thing with his son: teaching him, being proud of him and just reveling in his company. When Jared read the letter that evening, he reacted as Libby had—with tears of joy and love.
Harriet Roker saw the rising anxiety in Pete so she made a point of keeping him occupied. Pete seemed to understand what she was doing. He was given extra chores which he did willingly. He was sent on errands and was allowed now to ride daily to the roundup camp. Dodd also saw Pete’s excited anticipation and answered a barrage of questions about Jared, Libby, other children in the family, and whatever Pete’s yearning imagination could invent. Dodd no longer felt any jealousy over the sharing of Pete’s love. He knew that, although he might not always be with him, he’d always have him—as a memory and a family member.
Pete’s excitement was getting the better of him and he was finding it harder and harder to wait until Dodd came and said they could go home, so he was thrilled when Clinton rode over to ask his grandma if Pete could go to Lawton with him and his daddy. Pete hadn’t been to town since the day Dodd took him from Laker and the idea was exciting. Mama Harriet gave him a dime—a whole dime and told him not to make himself sick on candy and to be sure to bring some home for Becky. Mama also gave Clinton a dime and it wasn’t until they were riding back to the Brians’ home that Clinton told Pete that his daddy had also given him a dime for each of them. Between them they had forty cents, practically a fortune. A boy could make himself sick on three cents worth of candy and you could buy a steak dinner for twenty-five cents.
John Brian took his spring wagon. He had bought a new windmill and he was hoping he could get it all on one load. They left the Brians’ on kind of a sour note. Cyrus, Clinton’s seven-year-old brother, threw a regular fit because he couldn’t go and John had to whip his behind to get his point across. This was a time for Clinton and his friend. Cyrus had gotten to go with his daddy by himself a lot and he should just hush his mouth. But a Brian’s mouth didn’t seem to stop working until his backside was sore. John was a gentle man, some like Dodd, and it always put him out of sorts to have to whip one of his young ’uns, but the Good Book said, ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’, and John was a Baptist’s Baptist. He did what the Good Book said.
John told the boys they could have the town while the windmill was being loaded but to be back at the Wells Fargo as soon as the stage from Reno came rolling in.
Two hours on their own and forty cents—this was ten- and eleven-year-old heaven. Pete was careful to spend his first penny on some candy for Becky and he had the man double wrap it so it would stay nice in the breast pocket of his overalls until he got it home.
When you have that much money, you don’t spend it lightly. The first hour was passed going from store to store, seeing what was to be had, and the next half hour over a phosphate deciding which of the many wonders they had seen were of enough worth for them to part with their money. The decision made, they started back to the St. Louis Emporium for the tops. It was then to be on to Howell’s General Store, where they would load up on candy, which they had magnanimously decided to share with Clinton’s brothers and sisters.
They were just about to enter the Emporium when someone gabbed Pete from behind. “Well, I’ll be damned. I see little assholes don’t die so easy.” Pete knew the voice and was immediately angry. He swung around and planted his fist in Lyman Garvin’s belly. Garvin grunted but did not let go.
“You got me fired, you little shit, and you ain’t got Dodd or Billy here to protect you.”
“I ain’t no coward like you. I don’t need no protectin’.”
“You’re just as much of a smartypants as you ever was. I used to whip your ass any time I wanted to an’ I’m just a girl. Lyman’s a big strong man. You can’t do nothin’ and you ain’t nothin’. Dodd takin’ you away from my daddy don’t make you nothin’. You’re still a shit-ass nothin’ bound-boy and me and Lyman’s gonna kick the shit out of you so when we’re done you’ll be just what Lyman said you was, nothin’ but a asshole.”
“Get your daddy, Clinton. Tell him there’s some horseshit on the boardwalk needs cleanin’ up.” Clinton ran off toward the Wells Fargo.
“Well, I guess it’s like they say, a dog shits where he finds shit and you two make the biggest pile of shit I ever seen. Ain’t a pair deserves each other more. Lyman Garvin and Mable Laker. You been sweet-talking her, Lyman, or you been tellin’ her all your goddam lie whore stories?” Don’t make no difference. You better stick with Lyman, Mable. You sure as hell ain’t gonna find better.”
Lyman was again being put down by a boy, and in front of this girl he was trying to impress. He started at Pete but Pete stood his ground.
“Dodd and Billy ain’t dead, Lyman. You’re bigger than me and maybe the two of you can do what you say, but you’re as good as dead as soon as you do. Clinton seen you. He can tell folks who done it. So go on, hit me, Lyman. Or you gonna let Mable do it? Don’t reckon Dodd and them will beat the shit out of no girl. Be like you, you chicken ass coward to let a girl do your fightin’ for you.”
Garvin stood confused. He knew that if he laid a hand on Pete he was as good as dead but he had this girl thinking he was a big, tough cowpoke. What should he do?
There was no need to decide. Two pistol shots rang out and Lyman Garvin, driven by the force of two bullets in his back, pitched violently forward, his head landing at Pete’s feet. Pete gasped. Blood began coming from Lyman’s mouth, his nose and his ears. He knew Garvin was dead. As hard as his life had been and as much as he’d seen, Pete was horrified and stood frozen in fear.
He heard shouts of, “Look out, boy!” and “Down, boy!”, but he could pay attention only to the horror at his feet. He felt himself being flung to the ground—right on top of the bloody Lyman Garvin—and felt the heavy weight of a man’s body covering him, just as he heard two more shots fired in rapid secession, and heard the whistle of a bullet overhead. There was some of Lyman’s blood on his face and hands. He felt himself being pulled to his feet but he could think of nothing but blood and horror and death.
It was Mable’s scream that pulled him from his trance. He looked slightly to his left and saw Eli Laker lying on the dirt street, a bullet hole in his head.
Garvin had gone to work for Lakers after he was fired by Roker. He worked about like he did for Roker but he was the best Laker could do. Laker fussed and cussed as he always had and reminded Garvin daily that that goddam bound-boy Dodd Forrest took from him was a hell of a lot better worker than Garvin was. In Garvin’s mind, all his problems at Roker’s camp and the fact that he’d been fired were the boy’s fault. Garvin nurtured a hatred toward Pete. This constant negative comparison to the boy created in Garvin a passion for vengeance, both against Pete and Laker. But Garvin needed a job and Laker needed help so they lived with their mutual hatred and just put up with each other.
Laker had never gotten over having been bested by Dodd. For the first time in his life he had had to face honestly what he really was. He remained drunk all the time now and, even in that state, he knew that he could never take revenge on Dodd. It was Pete he came to hate and his mind was filled with drunken, fuzzy thoughts of taking his revenge on the boy.
It became obvious that he had become more than just a drunk. Laker’s grasp on reality had always been tenuous at best but now even that fragile tie was broken. The man was totally insane.
Laker frightened even his wife now. She would not allow Laker to sleep in the same room with her and she kept her bedroom door barred, fearing what he might do. He was sure that, had she not hit him with the frying pan, he could have outdrawn and killed Dodd. He had threatened to kill her and he did intend to do just that but his mind was too addled. When he had his current weapon of choice in his hand, he could not remember why he had it there. But he was a danger, so when she slept she always took the extra precaution of keeping a gun in her hand.
Mable was just becoming a woman and in his twisted mind, Laker had designs on her. Fortunately for the girl, Laker stayed too drunk and too confused to act on them. But when Laker found Garvin and Mable in an amorous embrace, it was not fatherly concern that drove him to run at Garvin with a pitch fork. It was his own perverted lust and the thought that something else was being taken away from him.
Garvin knew that he had to leave and it was not hard for him to talk Mable into leaving with him. Laker found her gone and surmised what had happened. His rage and his insanity took him to town, and…
After the crazed and very drunk Laker had shot Garvin, he had turned his gun on Pete. People had gathered around and Laker could not get a clear shot at the boy. That saved Pete’s life. Several men had tried to warn Pete but he was in too much shock to understand what they were saying. Had not Laker’s first shots alerted a deputy who arrived just as Laker was able to take aim on Pete, Pete also would have been lying dead on that boardwalk.
John Brian soon had both boys in his arms. Clinton cried but Pete, almost in a trance, sat stoically, staring at nothing as they rode back home. The boys still had thirty-five cents in their pockets.
When Harriet heard the story she sent one of the barn hands to get Dodd. She knew that Pete needed him. Pete ran to him and clung to him. Though the horror in Lawton was still heavily upon him, Dodd was there. He was safe again. He could stop being the orphan and bound-boy that that horror had again made him. He became a child, loved and protected. He did not cry but he clung to Dodd for more than an hour, being carried or sitting on his lap, never releasing the grasp of security he had placed with his arms around Dodd’s neck. Dodd spoke softly and soothingly, and slowly Pete relaxed. He became aware that Becky was sitting nearby, her sympathy, relief and concern running down her cheeks. Pete thought of the candy. He gave it to Becky. She hugged him and they held each other and both sobbed out their trauma.
Pete slept that night snuggled close to and in the arms of Dodd.
Copyright © 2003 Gordon L. Klopfenstein