::Male voice:: “Good evening, and welcome to ‘Teens’ Talk,’ a weekly radio program whose focus is helping teens in our community with advice and answers to questions of importance to them. As usual, all voices on this show are electronically altered for anonymity, and we request that all names used by our callers be fictional. Our guest host taking your calls tonight is, as always, someone who works with teens in a professional capacity in WRLW’s listening area. Our former guests have included adults with experience working in such occupations as nursing; in one of our high schools as a teacher, administrator or guidance counselor; pediatricians; psychologists; a college dorm resident adviser; a sports coach; a child psychiatrist; a minister and a police officer. We keep their names and voices anonymous as well as the callers’ as the questions they answer and the advice they give may be controversial. You are advised that the opinions given are those of our guests and may or may not be those of the management of this radio station. This program is intended to be both informative and entertaining, but callers and listeners are strongly advised that if they have personal issues requiring professional advice, they seek private help from a trusted source known to them, or a licensed practitioner of their choosing.
“Tonight’s in-studio guest host is a psychologist. Our callers every week are local teens with questions about all aspects of their lives. A last reminder: there is a five second delay between the live conversation on the telephone and what our audience is hearing, and any remarks not fit for airing on the radio will be cut off, although we provide wide latitude for legitimate questions as teens have a variety of concerns and interests. We at WRLW dislike censorship in any form and try hard not to practice it; we must comply with FCC regulations, however. You are strongly cautioned that this program is not intended for children under 13, and parents should be aware the content frequently concerns sex, as sex and relationships are areas that teens have many questions about. Now, for the rest of this program, and our first call, I turn the show over to our guest host for the evening.”
::Host voice, female, slightly nervous:: “Teens’ Talk, can I have the name you’re using for us tonight, please?”
“Uh, this is, uh, Bradley.” ::Caller voice, male, high pitched and tentative::
“Hello, Bradley. Thank you for calling, uh, oh yes, sorry, thanks for calling WRLW and ‘Teens’ Talk.’” ::Host voice, slightly apologetic laugh:: “I hope I’ll become more familiar with saying that as the night progresses. Now, Bradley, what is your question this evening?”
“Uh, well, I have a couple of questions. But, like, you don’t know who I am, do you? I mean, no one knows that, do they?”
“No, you’re entirely anonymous, Bradley.”
“You don’t have Caller ID or anything?” ::Caller voice, sounding hesitant, worried::
::Slight pause:: “To tell you the truth, I’m not sure how that works at this radio station. I can tell you honestly that I don’t have any information about you or your telephone number. All I and everyone listening knows is that you’re using the name Bradley. Can I help you with something tonight?” ::Host voice, shows no impatience, perhaps a little greater warmth in response to the caller’s nervousness::
“I think so, but this is hard.”
“That’s why I’m here, Bradley. Just take a deep breath, relax, and then talk. I’m sure whatever it is you want to talk about is something many other kids your age are also thinking about. How old are you, Bradley?”
“I’m 15.”
“So you go to high school here?”
“Yes.” ::Caller voice, much more nervous::
“Do you get good grades? Let’s see, you’re probably a sophomore, right?”
“Yes, that’s right. I guess I get good grades.” ::Caller voice, sounding a little less nervous::
”That’s good, Bradley. And are you calling about something at school?”
“Uh, like, well. . . .” ::Empty air::
“Bradley, I’m here to help, but you have to talk to me. That’s why you called, isn’t it?” ::Host voice, still no impatience, sounding very warm, understanding and inviting::
“Yeah. Well, okay. See, I want to know if I’m normal. But it’s hard to ask.”
“I can’t help you if you don’t. But so far, you’re normal. You’re normal because most guys your age wonder if they’re normal. So, if you wonder that, then you are.” ::Host voice, a small chuckle, but an empathetic one, neither threatening nor demeaning::
“Well, okay. You’re sure you don’t know who I am?”
“No one knows, Bradley.”
“Okay. Well, here goes.” ::Caller, sound of a deep breath being taken and released:: “Is it normal to jerk off a lot? When you’re my age?”
::Very brief pause:: “Yes, Bradley. Most, probably all boys your age, do that. Didn’t you have sex ed? Didn’t they cover that in class?”
“Well, yeah, but I mean, I do it a lot. No, I mean, I didn’t mean that, what I mean to ask is, is it normal to do it a lot?”
“Different boys do it—. I’m sorry, let me rephrase that. Boys are all different. Everyone is different, there really isn’t any set number of times that is normal. From studies that have been done, once a day is very normal, but some boys do it more than that, some less frequently.”
“How much more?”
“What do you mean?”
“If I, no, what I mean is, if someone does it more than once a day, if he does it several times a day, is that still normal? And how many times a day can I, uh, he do it and still be normal?” ::Caller voice, sounding nervous again::
“Many boys masturbate more than once a day.”
“But how much?”
“Bradley, it simply varies so much, it’s a difficult question to answer. If you can tell me how many times, er, if I had an idea of what you’re asking me about, uh, perhaps if you’d mention a specific number, maybe I could be more responsive.” ::Host voice, showing small amount of strain::
::Dead air::
“Bradley?”
“Six times? Maybe sometimes seven?” ::Caller voice, soft and hesitant; scared::
“Every day?” ::Host voice, surprised, but noticeable attempt to mask it::
::Dead air::
“Bradley, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound like that. But now we can talk about your concern. I’m not a bit bothered that you might be hurting yourself, mentally or physically, masturbating up to seven times a day. As I said, this is something the vast majority of all boys do, and the number of times they do it varies. However, I want to talk to you some more about this, because there are aspects that concern me. You’ll hold on for a moment, won’t you? I’m being signaled that we need to take a break, and then we’ll be able to continue. You won’t hang up, will you? I have some things to say you’ll want to hear. Please stay on the line, Bradley. All right?”
::Brief pause::
“All right.” ::Caller voice, again soft. Sounding younger than 15::
::Five minute commercial break in which there are ads for acne cream, two current movies, McDonald’s, a pregnancy assistance clinic, the Xbox video game system, two video games, a public service message and several WRLW station promos::
“We’re back with Bradley. Bradley, you’re still with us?”
“Yes.” ::Caller voice, slightly stronger and more relaxed::
“All right. For those of you who are just joining us, Bradley was concerned about how much masturbation is too much. Bradley, my best answer is, it’s too much if it interferes with your life. If you can’t concentrate on your school work, or complete your assignments, because of, of, this activity, if it keeps you from hanging with your friends, if you think about it constantly so it distracts you, if you are avoiding other activities just so you can be alone to do this—in other words, if it interrupts normal teen activities, then you might want to consider spending more time on some of those things and less by yourself in your room.”
::No response from the caller::
“But then, that brings up another matter. I would guess if you’re doing this that frequently, then some of those times might be at school. And that might not be terribly safe for you. Your safety is very important.”
::Dead air::
“Bradley?”
“Yes?” ::Caller voice, softer again and shaky; stressed::
“Does this sometimes occur at school?”
“I don’t want to talk about that.” ::Caller voice, very nervous::
“All right.” ::Host voice, compassionate and gentle:: “So in summary, there’s nothing wrong with you, but you might want to consider spending more time with other kids doing other things. Hanging with your friends might be a good place to start.”
“I don’t have any friends. Well, I have one, but he’s always busy.”
::Brief pause:: “Could you make some more?” ::Host voice, very warm, supportive::
“I don’t know. I’m a little shy. And, and. . . .”
“And what, Bradley?”
“I, uh, well, I think I’m gay.”
::Brief pause::
“Bradley, that shouldn’t stop you from having friends. There are many gay teens, and almost all of them have friends. Does the friend you have know you’re gay? Do your parents?”
“No!”
“You said you think you’re gay? What is making you think that?”
“Uh, you know. Stuff. Like, I’m always thinking about the boys in school. In gym class, we have to shower and I look. I try not to but I can’t help it. There’s this one kid—”
::Dead air; followed by an obviously recorded male voice giving the station call letters and the station motto, then a brief pause::
“Bradley, no names, please. We cut that off before it went out, but try not to use names. But please continue. You said there was this one kid. . . .”
“Yeah, he’s a jock, he’s a senior, on the football team, I think he plays tight end, and he’s in my gym class, and I watch him all the time, especially in the shower. I sometimes fantasize about him, too, you know, when. . . well, and he’s really big, uh, I mean, he’s built, I didn’t mean down there, but, well, he is there, too, and—”
::Interrupting:: “That doesn’t mean you’re gay, Bradley.”
“Well, there’s other stuff, too.”
“Can you tell me about it?”
“I went on a date last weekend. With my friend. We doubled. We went parking after the movie. Je—uh, my friend drove, and he was in the front seat with, uh, his girlfriend and I was in the back. We’d been there a while, and I couldn’t see, uh, the girl’s head any longer but Je—, uh, my friend was sort of moaning, and I thought he was probably getting, uh, oral sex, can I say that?”
“Go on, Bradley.”
“Oh, okay, well, that’s what I thought, and that made me excited, thinking about that, and I got hard. But, see, I hadn’t been hard before that, even with what we were doing.”
“Well, you don’t need to be very explicit, but what were you doing?” ::Host voice, still warm, supportive, but slightly guarded::
“We’d been kissing, you know, and sort of rubbing each other. She was rubbing me down below, sort of squeezing, feeling me. I was rubbing her—”
“We don’t need quite that much description. I guess it would be fair to simply say you were doing things that you feel should have caused arousal, but hadn’t?”
“Yes, but when I thought about Je—, uh, my friend, and, uh, well, sort of visualized what was happening, and saw a picture in my head of his ere—”
::Host voice, interrupting:: “All right, Bradley. We have to be a little careful here. I think what you’re saying is, you were more aroused by thinking about your friend having sex than what was happening with your girlfriend.”
“She was a date. I really don’t have a girlfriend.”
“I understand. But it was thinking about the sex in the front seat that aroused you?”
“It was really thinking about, uh, my friend’s, uh, my friend being aroused, and what that would look like.” ::Caller voice, evident embarrassment, possibly some fear::
“But you did go on a date with a girl.”
“Yeah, but it was Je—, uh, my friend’s idea. He said I should. He’s been wanting me to. And I wanted to, well, find out. About me.”
“Bradley, there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Lots of teens are. Some are out, some aren’t, and they’re all learning who they are. Schools have policies these days to protect gay teens. Other teens and adults are more accepting these days. And there are clubs at many schools for gay teens, and lots of support sites on-line. I can give you some references if you’ll hold as we go to another station break and these messages.”
::Station break, station promos, ads for a horror movie and two date movies, two video games, afternoon TV shows for teens, CDs, Burger King, a pregnancy clinic, a right to life organization, Planned Parenthood, and an acne cream. WRLW station promos::
“Welcome back. We’ve been talking to Bradley, and during the break, he said he had more questions. All right, Bradley, what else can I help you with?”
“So do you think I am?”
“Do I think you are gay?”
“Yes.”
“You could be, Bradley, but you’re still young. Many men don’t decide they know that for sure till they’re in their twenties. Your thoughts right now could just be natural curiosity. Your masturbation could be the result of excessive hormones due to puberty, or other factors like loneliness or stress, and your frequency is probably temporary. Your worries about this are very natural. Most boys worry about being normal, and worry about sex-related issues. That’s why we have this program, so many of these questions can be answered.”
“But do you think I’m gay?”
“I don’t know you at all Bradley, and I couldn’t say based on our short conversation. It might make you feel better to talk to someone you know, and if you can’t discuss this with your parents, I might suggest your family doctor could be a helpful resource. Or your minister if you go to church. Or someone at school you respect. Your sex ed teacher might be someone you could talk to.”
“No, he’s sort of weird. He’s always pressing his crotch into his desk while he’s talking to us, and looking at the boys’ crotches when he says something that he thinks might make us hard. He does that all the time.”
“Well, maybe your doctor, then. Now, is there anything else?” ::Host voice, warm and supportive::
“Yes, I’m really worried.”
“Why is that, Bradley?”
“Well, I don’t know if I can say all this.”
“Just start in and we’ll find out.”
“Okay, I’ll try.” ::Brief pause:: “It’s just that, well, this might be silly, but I don’t know who to talk to about this. I mean, someone who’d really know, not just guess. Or laugh at me.”
“Go ahead. What’s your question?”
“Well, I need to know, if, well, how a girl can get pregnant.” ::Caller voice, very worried::
“Bradley, you’re 15 and this has to have been explained in you sex education class.”
“Oh, I know about that. But, well, I guess I have to tell you. I can’t ask anyone else. I need to know something.” ::Caller voice, sounding desperate; suggestive that caller may be restraining himself from crying::
“All right. It’s okay, Bradley. Please take your time, relax again, and then tell me what the problem is.” ::Host voice, warm, gentle, compassionate::
“Well, this is again about my date. I told you how she was sort of touching me, and I hadn’t got hard. Well, see, actually, my pants were open, and she was touching my, uh, skin. It felt good and all, I mean it was very nice, and I did get a little, well, I’m not sure what I can say here, but, well, I did get a little bit bigger. Not really all the way hard—sheesh, this is embarrassing—but bigger, uh, yeah, bigger, when she was doing that.” ::Caller voice, emotion increasing:: “But then, I started thinking about Je—, uh, my friends di—, uh, erection, and I told you that got me hard. Well, when that happened, uh, my date, got excited too. When I got like that. And she started, well, this is difficult, but she started to more stroke me than rub me, and it felt a lot different from when I do that myself. And that day, I hadn’t had time to do it more than a couple of times, so I was pretty ready. What I didn’t say before was, I wasn’t the only one with my pants open and everything. I mean, I was touching her, uh, skin, too, while she was touching mine. This was what I wanted to do, see, to find out. On the date. About me. So I was touching her, and she was rubbing. . .well. . .stroking me, and I, I was thinking about Je—, uh, his, uh. . .and I came. Can I say that? But, well, I mean, she was stroking me and I had an orgasm.” ::Caller voice, shaky, very nervous::
“And she was real excited when that happened and what I was doing to her and I think she had one too because she was sort of jerking around on the seat and making little gasping noises, and I was too, and my stuff, you know, well, it was sort of going everywhere because we were both sort of jerking around, but what worries me is, when she started to have her orgasm, she pushed my fingers off of her and started rubbing herself, but she had my stuff on her fingers by then, and, well, I don’t know if she can get pregnant or not, and I can’t be a father now, I just can’t, and I might be gay, and my mom would find out and she’d kill me, and she’d be so disappointed in me because she’s always telling me to be safe” ::Caller voice, highly emotional, highly distressed:: “and it’s just her and me, my dad left, and I don’t even like this girl all that much because I think I’m gay anyway, and Jeremy said it would be all right but I don’t know” ::Caller voice, shaking, possibly crying, rushing his words:: “and I am so worried and when I got home my mom saw that I was upset and asked me if I’d had a bad time and why was I crying, and—”
::Host voice, astonished and angry:: “Jacob?! Jacob Andersen?!”
“MOM?!”
::Call disconnected::