Geoff spent a lot of time in the basement. While Todd was in school, he was usually either helping Monica or working in the basement shop. While he was developing a wonderful relationship with and learning a lot from the housekeeper, while he enjoyed working with and talking to her, the time he spent in the basement was deeply satisfying as it filled a void in him and proved to him he was capable of achieving something good all by himself. For the first time in his life, he was being creative, working on something that was personal to him, something that allowed him to express himself, and that was the product of his own mind and the skill of his own hands.
When Todd came home from school, he spent time in the basement, too, watching Geoff work in the shop, taking his boxing lessons from him, or working out with the weights and exercise equipment he’d talked his father into buying for them both.
Talking his father into buying most anything was easy these days. Todd didn’t take advantage of it. He was amazed, pleased, hopeful, and he let it go at that. He was surprised that he didn’t have to spend much of the $100 he got from Mr. McCluskey every week to get most anything he wanted or needed. His father sometimes went with him to buy what he wanted, and had yet to balk at giving him money without complaint whenever he asked. Their relationship was still a work in progress, but the tensions between them were becoming less and less as time passed.
Todd got a wry grin on his face when he thought of what Geoff was teaching him in the basement. The term ‘boxing lessons’ didn’t quite fit. He thought calling what Geoff was teaching him ‘boxing’ was probably like calling a child’s finger painting the Mona Lisa. He wasn’t getting lessons in the finer points of boxing. Scuffling lessons probably was more accurate.
They had started the day after Todd had asked for help learning how to fight and continued most days thereafter. The first day had been awkward and took a while to get started.
“You sure you want to do this?” Geoff had asked, sitting on the bed in Todd’s bedroom while Todd got dressed.
“Actually, I don’t want to, but I’m going to. I need to. I have to get… uh… braver.” Todd didn’t look like he wanted to do it any more than he sounded like he wanted to. He wasn’t smiling as he pulled on a pair of old gym shorts, a tee shirt, then tied his sneakers, and was taking about twice the time needed to get ready. When he stood up, he looked smaller than usual to Geoff, his thin arms not even starting to fill the short sleeves on his tee shirt, his thin legs looking pathetic in the pant legs of his gym shorts. For some reason, Todd also was having a hard time making his eyes meet Geoff’s. Talking to him recently, he hadn’t been having as much problem with that as he’d had before. Now, he was again.
Geoff didn’t like the idea of Todd fighting. He knew the boy would get creamed. He badly wanted to talk Todd out of this, but knew that arguing the point, telling him how ridiculous standing up to someone would be, would only serve to hurt Todd’s self–confidence. He also knew that Todd was already aware that fighting anyone would be a disaster waiting to happen.
So he really couldn’t protest teaching him to fight too strongly, even if in his own mind he felt it was both futile and silly. He did try one last time, however, saying, “Sometimes standing up to people who are bigger than you, stronger than you, have more experience fighting than you and like hurting people a whole lot more than you do—well, that isn’t brave, Todd. It’s stupid.”
Todd nodded, then grimaced. “It feels that way to me, too, so I agree with you. But sometime, sooner or later, I’m going to have to fight someone. I know I will. When it happens, if I don’t have any choice in the matter and have to fight, I want to be ready. I don’t want to cower or cry or anything like that. I want to know what to do, even if it doesn’t work out very well.” He stopped, and then in a poor attempt to lighten the mood, said, “When I go down, I want to look good doing it.”
Geoff shook his head, not thinking that was a bit funny, but seeing Todd wasn’t going to be dissuaded, went ahead with what he’d agreed to do. They walked together down to the basement, and Geoff set to work. He knew he had to go easy with the training. He also knew Todd wasn’t ever going to be able to fight, unless he suddenly had a growth spurt and put on forty pounds or so. He was just too small. But Todd was showing courage just wanting to try, and Geoff wanted to help him.
“OK,” he said. “First, how you stand is important. You have to be balanced, feet slightly apart, hands up and clenched in fists. Make sure your thumbs are outside your fists, not tucked in. Flex your knees slightly so they’re loose and you can move. Moving is important. You don’t want to be fixed in place, but shifty and loose.”
Todd did what he said. Geoff thought he looked stupid, and almost laughed. He stopped himself. Stopping the smile was harder, but he managed it.
“OK, move either of your feet back just a little. You can’t throw much of a punch with your feet both directly even with your opponent, and standing a little sideways to him gives him a narrower target. Yeah, that’s it. But listen, and this is important. If you’ve got the chance to run, take it. Most of the time, the guy won’t chase you, and even if he does, you might still get away. That’ll be a lot better than fighting.”
“OK, but if I do have to fight, what do I do?”
Geoff shook his head again, but continued. “Most fights don’t last long, so don’t expect yours to. What you want to do is get it stopped as quickly as you can. Usually one good shot in the right place will do that. There are three right places. A good punch in the nose stops most people. A good kick to the nuts does too. Whoever you’re fighting will probably know that, and will be careful that you don’t hit or kick him in either place. You need to make sure he doesn’t get you in those places too.”
“You said three places. What’s the other one?” Todd had put his fists down now, and was just listening. This seemed more like a learning session now, and he liked it better.
“The third is more dangerous. It’ll do more damage, too. Usually a shot to the nose or the balls just hurts. A really hard shot to the nose can break it, but that usually doesn’t happen. Even if it does, a doctor can fix it pretty easily. But the other one, well….”
“So tell me!”
Geoff couldn’t help grinning. Todd actually sounded eager.
“All right, I’ll tell you. If you kick someone hard on the inside of his knee while he’s got his foot planted, if you force his knee joint outwards, you’ll end the fight right then. He’ll probably scream and collapse. And if you do it hard enough he’ll spend some time in the hospital. He won’t be walking again for a while, either.
“It’ll take you some practice to do it, however. It’ll mean really being in the fight, doing the things you have to do like watching him, watching his balance, setting him up even. And the problem with that is he’ll be trying to hit you while you’re doing that. So you’ll have to be dancing around, deflecting blows, faking him so he’ll set himself up for you. If you’re used to fighting, it isn’t that hard, especially if he isn’t trying to protect his knees. You distract him, then wham, take out his knee. But I really don’t want you thinking about that. It’s just something for you to know. Your best chance is still to simply run away. A few catcalls, putting up with a little teasing, that’s a lot better than getting trashed.”
Todd listened. Then he got Geoff to spar with him in slow motion, and tell him what he was doing wrong. He tried the same things again and again, trying to get it right.
They were doing this after school, and after a few days Todd was no longer afraid to go down to the basement for the lessons. That in itself, Todd told himself, was progress.
»»»» 0 ««««
Todd was also going to the basement other times. Geoff was usually there, in the workshop, and Todd would go to get him when it was time for homework. Todd was bringing Geoff’s homework to him every day, and Geoff was always reluctant to leave the shop to do it. Todd insisted because Mr. McCluskey had asked him to, telling him to tell Geoff that the demand was coming from him, and Todd was just passing it along. So, Geoff would bitch and moan, but come upstairs, eventually, always saying he just needed to finish what he was doing first. Todd had taken to watching him finish up.
Geoff had been uncomfortable having Todd just standing there watching; it looked like Todd was impatient, waiting. He found he liked the fact Todd was interested. It was just that he didn’t like him standing. Finally, Geoff found an old stool with a back on it out in the shed behind the garage and brought it in. When Todd was standing watching that day, Geoff gestured at the stool. Todd grinned and sat down on it. From that point on, when he’d come down to collect Geoff, he’d climb up on the stool and watch from there.
With Geoff working and Todd watching, it became natural for them to chat.
Geoff was shooting nails into plywood he was putting on a frame he’d made, making it into a low platform. The frame would be discarded later. He was making it to have a base for the main project he was building, a support to raise it to a comfortable working height while it was being built. As he worked, he asked Todd a question.
“You got Diana Roberts in any of your classes?”
“Yeah, a couple. Why?”
“Just wondering.” He went back to shooting nails.
Todd sat up straighter. “Something I should know about here?”
After a couple more nails, Geoff said, “You know, I like staying here. I like it a lot. But I miss seeing the kids at school. I didn’t know I would. I didn’t mix much with the other kids. That’s not surprising—everyone was afraid of me and I was an asshole. But just being around everyone… I miss it.”
“And you especially miss being around Diana Roberts?”
Geoff smiled a little bashfully. “Don’t tell anyone.”
Todd looked at Geoff in wonder. He’d never seen this side of him before. He actually seemed a little shy, a little embarrassed. “I won’t. Besides, I can’t let anyone know you’re here. Does she like you?”
“How the shit should I know?” Geoff rolled his eyes at Todd, and laughed. “She’s popular. Probably doesn’t even know who I am. But I liked looking at her. Watching her. I still like thinking about her.”
Todd didn’t say anything else. He was wondering about being isolated from other kids. He’d spent a lot of time at private school, then here, and while he hadn’t had a lot of friends at either place, or really any here, he’d still been around them. He decided being entirely separated from everyone his own age would suck big time.
Geoff kept working, then asked idly, “Anyone you like?”
Todd froze. He didn’t know what to say.
Geoff took his eyes off his work when Todd didn’t reply and looked over at him. He saw the wariness in his eyes. “So there is!” he said, and smiled. “Who is she? Does she know you like her?”
Todd finally met his eyes. “You done? I’ve got a lot of school work today and want to get to it.”
Geoff switched off the air compressor, then hit the light switch. He brushed sawdust off his clothes as he followed Todd up the stairs. It was obvious Todd didn’t want to talk about this. In the past, he’d simply have made him, but he wasn’t like that anymore. Now, he realized this might be an opportunity to make Todd see he was able to be nice, to be supportive. He wanted Todd to know that. He’d have to make sure Todd knew he wasn’t teasing when he brought it up again. He was surprised to find out Todd liked someone, though. He thought Todd was probably way too shy to even talk to a girl. Of course, talking to one and merely thinking about one were two different things.
And, of course, maybe that was why he froze up on Geoff. Maybe he was too shy to talk to her, and it embarrassed him to say so.
But no, that didn’t seem right. Being too shy to talk to a girl and revealing whether he liked someone or not didn’t have anything to do with each other. It didn’t make sense. It must be something else. Geoff frowned. He’d have to think about it.
»»»» 0 ««««
Todd had been to Andy’s house several times now. They were becoming good friends. Andy rarely blushed any more, and they were managing to look each other in the eyes with regularity.
“When are you going to come to my house? I’ve been here to yours, and I’d like you to come to mine.”
“You want me to?” Andy was being coy.
“Of course I do.”
Andy grinned at him. “OK. When?”
“That’s what I asked you,” answered Todd, giggling. “How about a week from this Friday?”
“Sure.”
“Really? That’s great!” Then Todd got an idea. “You want to stay for dinner?”
“That OK with your father?”
“He might not even be there. Or he might, but it won’t matter.”
“So if he isn’t, it’ll be just you and me? That seems strange. I always eat dinner with my family.” Andy’s forehead wrinkled.
“Can you keep a secret? I don’t mean just a kids’ secret. I mean an important one. One that’s serious.”
Andy saw that Todd was being serious. “Sure,” he said.
Todd stopped. He didn’t like the sound of that ‘sure.’ It sounded like it hadn’t been thought out, like there wasn’t much behind it. He looked at Andy. He really liked him, but he didn’t know him that well yet. He hadn’t known him long enough. Could he keep a secret? One that could cause a lot of trouble if he broke it?
He hesitated, and Andy noticed. “You don’t trust me?”
“It isn’t that. Well, maybe a little bit that. It’s more that I don’t know you well enough, and this is a big secret. It could be dangerous for someone if it gets out. I want to trust you. But, I don’t know if I should.”
Andy got up and walked over to Todd where he was sitting on Andy’s bed; he sat down next to him. “You can trust me. In the first place, there aren’t that many people I even talk to. Remember, the camera and all? I’ve told you how I feel like the invisible boy at school. But secondly, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and I wouldn’t do anything to screw that up. Really. I’ve been happier since we started talking to each other than I can ever remember being. Just us being together like this is great.” He stopped, then repeated, “You can trust me.”
Todd had a decision to make. He decided to go with his heart.
“OK, I’m going to trust you, and I’m going to tell you why it’s important.” And he did. He told him a condensed version that didn’t include Geoff’s name, feeling that before he did that, he should get Geoff’s permission. But he told him he knew someone whose life might be in danger, and that his staying at Todd’s house was the secret. He told Andy that he might or might not meet the person when he came to dinner. If the guy didn’t want to meet him, that was one thing, but if he did, Andy would have to keep it absolutely silent that he knew where the guy was.
Andy’s eyes widened as he listened, but when Todd was finished, he smiled at him and said, “You can trust me. I’ll come over, and I’ll stay for dinner, and I’ll meet this person if he’s OK with that, and your father if he’s there.”
Todd put his arm around Andy’s shoulders and squeezed, then said, “I’d like you to come over for a sleepover sometime, too. Hey, I know, how ‘bout doing that too when you come for dinner? Other boys do that, have sleepovers. I’ve heard about it, but I’ve never done it. I’ve never spent the night at anyone’s house, or had anyone at my house either. You want to?” he asked, his voice rising with his excitement.
Andy felt Todd’s excitement, and he did blush then. He looked up at Todd, saw how hopeful he looked, and then thinking about spending the night with Todd at his house got him excited, too.
Blushing harder now, he grinned at Todd, and nodded.
»»»» 0 ««««
Mr. Mortensen was eating at home much more often now. He’d found he liked Geoff. The atmosphere with Todd was much better, too, which he realized was because he’d relaxed around the boy and was no longer trying to control everything he did, no longer being overly critical of everything he said. In fact, he wasn’t controlling Todd at all. And he saw how the boy was no longer nervous, no longer hesitant to speak to him. He knew that was because he’d backed off.
He was meeting with the psychologist Mr. McCluskey had set him up with, too. At first, he’d been very reluctant to go and then resistant to what the doctor was trying to do, but the man hadn’t pressed him, had told him in fact that the sessions were entirely for his own benefit, not for anyone else, and since he was there, he might want to make use of the time. He very gently led him into talking about himself, talking about things he remembered from his childhood. When Mr. Mortensen became uncomfortable, he quickly moved away from that topic, but always managed to come back to it from a different direction.
Mr. Mortensen was a very smart man, and he recognized what was happening in the sessions. He realized that he did have problems dealing with other people, problems with control issues. He wasn’t very introspective, but being forced to look back at his upbringing and relationships with his parents was making him see things he’d long buried.
He knew he’d treated Todd badly. Having to tell the doctor what he’d done focused his attention on it more than he’d had to do in the past, and he saw it for what it was. He was ashamed at what he’d done.
The more he saw Dr. Swartz, the more apparent some of his problems were. He’d had a habit of only thinking about himself, and hadn’t seen anything wrong with that before. Now, he was beginning to see what he’d done and why, and how wrong it had been.
Of course, realizing what his problems had been and making a radical change in his personality to correct them were two different things entirely. He still got angry at trivial things, he still felt the need for absolute control and felt unsettled if he didn’t have it. He had to bite his tongue frequently when his wishes weren’t instantly obeyed, he had to quell his natural instinct toward sarcasm and disparagement, but at least he now saw why he felt the need for those destructive behaviors, saw why he’d done the things he had, saw why he was so quick to anger. He recognized, after a lot of agonized thinking, that he had to change. He was trying. He was also starting to make progress.
He was at dinner one night with Geoff and Todd. Geoff was asking him about the grounds, whether he had a mowing service in the summer.
“Yes, I have a service. Why, you looking for work?” He grinned. He was of late aware how offensive he could be, and how many statements he made were in a sharp tone that was at the very least passively aggressive. Dr. Schwartz was making him aware of it. He’d had no idea. Now he listened to himself, and was learning to soften what he said to take the sting out of it. Without the grin, what he’d just said could have put Geoff on the defensive.
“I wouldn’t mind. I’m not sure what’s going to happen to me when this is all over with my dad. But I like to work with my hands, and mowing yards and working in gardens is something I might really enjoy. I haven’t done it before, but would like to learn.”
“I’m a pretty stern taskmaster,” harrumphed Mr. Mortensen, and then grinned again. Geoff grinned back.
Todd watched the two of them. His father seemed to find it easier to tease Geoff, to banter with him, than to do the same with Todd. When talking to him, his father’s comments were generally more formal, more cautious. Todd was getting the idea that perhaps that didn’t mean his father was being cold, but rather that he was trying very hard not to upset him. Perhaps it was his way of apologizing for past behavior. Maybe being very proper was just a way to lead into the two of them becoming more familiar, more friendly.
Whatever, Todd enjoyed watching the two of them, and joining in when appropriate. Whenever he did, his father seemed to relax, to absorb his comments, and hadn’t stiffened or gotten upset for several days.
Things were improving. Watching Geoff and his father talk, he thought back to how the past couple of weeks had been.
»»»» 0 ««««
Todd was well on his way to becoming a normal teenager. Now that he was free to sleep late on the weekends, he took full advantage of it. His father had never permitted that before, but Todd was his own master now; he slept in.
He was still sleeping at 10:30 on a Saturday when he was shaken awake. He groaned, rolled onto his back and slowly opened his eyes. Geoff was standing over him.
Todd started to panic, then through bleary eyes noted the huge smile on Geoff’s face. He forced himself not to draw back from him, and instead changed the action into a stretch. “This better be good,” he groaned, his complaint that of a seriously aggrieved teen, “like the house is on fire or something.”
Geoff laughed. “Better. I made breakfast. Monica might have helped just a little, but it was mostly me. Come on. It’s ready.”
Todd smiled. “OK, if you insist. I seem to be awake anyway.” He said that with sarcasm and tried scowling again, but it was difficult when looking at the gleeful anticipation on Geoff’s face.
Geoff stood there, waiting. Todd stretched again, then went to pull the covers off. And froze.
Geoff waited. Todd waited. Neither moved. Then Todd said, “Uh, I’m getting up now, Geoff. I’ll be right down.”
“Great!” said Geoff, and stood, waiting.
Todd started blushing. He couldn’t help it; he blushed. Geoff noticed, and then suddenly laughed. “Oh, that. OK, I’ll be downstairs. You know, you don’t have to be embarrassed. I grew up with two older brothers and one bathroom. I’ve seen morning hard–ons my whole life. They don’t bother me a bit. But I know, things are a lot different here. Anyway, I’ll go. But hurry up. Everything’s ready, and I’m starving.”
“Be right there.”
And he was. In less than two minutes, he was sitting down at the breakfast bar, wearing his robe. Geoff was proudly taking up scrambled eggs and bacon, and was ready to pour batter into the waffle iron. Monica was sitting at the counter too, a cup of coffee in front of her, watching carefully but pretending not to.
Geoff poured the batter, put two plates on the counter, then he sat down next to Todd.
“You really did all this?” Todd asked, impressed and not caring that it showed.
“Yep, all by myself.” The pride in his voice was obvious.
Monica cleared her throat, chuckled under her breath and said in a sarcastic tone, just loud enough so both boys could hear, “Yeah, right!” Then she turned to look out the window, trying to make it look like she had no interest at all in their juvenile affairs.
“Well, I got lots of unneeded and useless advice, but I did all the work.” Geoff was looking at Monica, hoping she’d respond, but she ignored him and started humming. Loudly. Because she was sitting in profile to Todd, he could just barely see the smile on her face.
Todd laughed at their interplay. “Looks great!” he said to Geoff. He took a bite of eggs, then of crisp bacon, and started chewing.
Monica got up to go back to her room, refilling her coffee cup on the way, and Geoff said, “Thanks, Monica. You were a big help.”
She grunted, then turned and winked at Todd.
Geoff took the first waffle out of the iron, then poured batter for a second one. He tore the waffle in two and gave them each a half. They ate in silence for a few moments. Geoff was the first to speak. His voice was serious.
“You know, I was thinking about what we said in the basement that day. You know, about me liking Diana Roberts? And you liking someone but not wanting to talk about it?”
Todd paused, a forkful of waffle dripping with syrup and butter halfway to his mouth. “I don’t think I said that, but yeah, I remember.”
“Well, that’s what I assumed. Anyway, I got to thinking about it. About everything that’s happened. About what I did to you. About what you’re doing for me. And I wanted you to know something.”
He stopped then, and looked down at his plate. He stirred what remained of his eggs around. He seemed embarrassed. Geoff wasn’t someone who got embarrassed, and Todd wondered what was going on.
“I got to thinking,” he finally resumed. “You didn’t want to tell me the name of the person you liked. You froze up. You changed the subject. And you haven’t mentioned it since, even when I’ve talked about Diana. Now most kids, they want to talk about the person they like. I could only think of a couple of reasons you wouldn’t want to. And they both make me sad.
He paused, gathering his courage, then said, “Look, if I’m out of line, tell me, and I’ll shut up. But you’ve done so much for me, I want to give something back. And I haven’t known how to do it. This might be how.”
He glanced up at Todd. Todd’s face was blank.
Not getting any message to stop, Geoff forged forward. “As I said, I thought of two reasons you wouldn’t tell me who it was. One was simply that you didn’t like me enough to tell me, that you don’t consider us friends, and didn’t want to share that with me.”
He glanced up again. Todd’s face was still telling him nothing. “OK. I didn’t believe that. You’ve been watching me in the woodshop, and chatting with me there, you’ve been helping me with homework, taking a lot of time making sure I understand stuff, and you wouldn’t do any of those things if you still hated me. We’ve been having our boxing lessons, and I don’t think you’d laugh as much as you do when we’re doing that if you hated me. So I decided you don’t hate me anymore. I think, I hope, you think of me as a friend.”
He stopped then, looked at Todd, and Todd could see some emotion in his eyes. Geoff looked down and asked, hesitantly, “Do you?”
He looked back up at Todd. Todd was looking a little more nervous now, anticipating what might be coming. He didn’t answer the question verbally, but did nod.
Geoff smiled. A big smile. “Me too,” he said. “Whew. I thought so, but I was still worried. I know I hurt you a lot. You saying that… well, nodding that… anyway, that means a lot. And, that brings us to the other reason I could think of why you froze up when I asked you who it was you liked. And that’s where I think I can finally pay you back some for what you’ve done for me.” He stopped and took a deep breath.
He looked at Todd again and this time didn’t drop his eyes. He smiled, then said, “The only other reason I could think of was it’s a boy you like. And if that’s the reason, and you don’t want to tell me about it, that’s fine, but I want to tell you something. Because some of the times I bullied you, I called you names, like fag and queer. So you probably think I hate gay guys. This is what I want to tell you: I don’t. You might think that’s funny coming from a kid that got raped almost every day for a while, but it’s true. I know about sex, about the type of sex that gay guys have. I might even know more about it than you do, if you’re gay.”
He paused, just long enough for Todd to deny or confirm it, but Todd wasn’t responding. So Geoff, feeling the lack of denial meant he was probably right in what he was thinking, went on. “And I wanted to tell you, if you are gay, and need someone to talk to, someone who won’t tease you or rag on you about it, someone who’ll listen, if you need someone to talk to like that, you can with me. That’s what I can do for you.”
He stopped, and Todd didn’t say anything. After a moment, Geoff spoke again, quieter this time, and not looking at Todd at all, but looking out the window, talking almost like he was speaking to himself.
“See, when Ray was fucking me… raping me… I told you I got so I didn’t fight him, that when I did it just got me hurt more, so I didn’t fight, after a while. And when I didn’t fight any more, I got to realize that sometimes, what he was doing didn’t hurt at all.” Geoff’s voice trailed off at that point, and Todd, who’d been appalled when Geoff had started this, now saw that Geoff had tears in his eyes. He quickly turned away. Geoff cleared his throat after a moment, and then continued.
“I never got to like it because he was taking advantage of me, making me be part of something I didn’t want to be part of, and he was never gentle. He was just getting off, and I was just an object to him. It was demeaning, and I hated it. But I heard how other boys talked about gay guys and getting it up the butt and all, and I had a different feeling about it than they did. Because I knew something about that firsthand, and they didn’t.
“I knew I wasn’t gay. I liked girls. Boys didn’t excite me at all, that way. But with what Ray was doing, I realized that what gay guys do wasn’t at all what the guys who didn’t know anything about it thought it was. It was just another way to have sex. And sometimes, I got the impression if it had been done with love rather than the way Ray did it, I sort of thought it might not be so bad. I could sort of see what gay guys, guys that cared about each other, might see in it.”
He paused for a moment, then looked quickly at Todd before dropping his eyes again, unable to withhold a sniff. “I don’t know whether that sounds screwy or not. I mean, I was being raped. And it was never good. But I learned something from it. And if you are gay, and you want someone to talk to that knows something about that part of gay sex, even if what I was involved in wasn’t really gay sex at all, I can talk to you about it. And I can promise you that I’d never, ever, tell anyone anything you told me in private.” Todd could hear him holding back more tears, and instinctively moved closer to him. Geoff rushed to finish. “Todd, I’ll never do anything to hurt you again. I’m so sorry I ever did.”
Todd tentatively at first, and then with commitment, reached out and hugged Geoff. Geoff collapsed into his arms, and the two boys hugged, tears streaming down both their faces for very different reasons.
»»»» 0 ««««
They were doing homework together a couple of nights later and Todd had just helped Geoff with a math problem. Geoff was pounding his chest and roaring because he’d finally grasped a concept that had been eluding him, and in the midst of that, Todd said softly, “I am.”
Geoff stopped whooping. “Huh? You are what?”
“I am gay.”
Geoff looked up at him, and then he smiled. “I couldn’t tell. There’s nothing about you that screams ‘gay’. But I’m not surprised, either. I sort of figured, the way you wouldn’t tell me who it was. You can now, can’t you? Who you like? Do I know him?”
Todd grinned. “I can’t tell you. I’ll have to ask his permission first. He’s not out. Neither am I but I have your promise and I trust you, and you never see anyone anyway.”
“OK. I can see that. So now, if I want to talk about Diana, you can talk about old what’s–his–name, even if I don’t know who he is. Deal?”
“Deal. But, I want to say something else. It’s one of the reasons I told you. Maybe the main one.”
“OK. What?”
“I’m going to have a boy over for dinner this week. On Friday. He’s a friend from school. His name is Andy. He’s coming for a sleepover. Neither one of us has ever done that before, and we’re both excited about it. But, I don’t want you thinking, because he’s my friend, that he’s gay, or he’s my boyfriend or anything like that. He isn’t. He might be gay, he might not. He might be the boy I like, he might not. We’re just friends, and because I’m gay doesn’t mean he is. Whether I’ve told him I’m gay is my business. You’re not to even hint at it if you meet him.”
Todd lost some of his vehemence when he continued. “I’ve told him someone is staying with us in secret because his life is in danger, but not who you are. I didn’t violate the secret that you’re staying here. If you want to, you can. You can eat with us, get to know him, or you can stay in your room while he’s here. It’s up to you. He’s sworn, whatever happens, whatever you decide, he won’t tell anyone someone is staying here. I trust him.
“If you do join us, I want you to act like he’s just my friend, and like we’re having our first ever sleepover, because that’s the truth. He’s very shy. So don’t do anything to frighten him or embarrass him. You could ruin it for him just by frowning at him. He’s that fragile.”
Geoff wasn’t sure what to say. Something inside him told him the fewer people who knew where he was, the safer he was, and he shouldn’t let anyone else know other than those who already did. He knew his father, what he was capable of, and he doubted anyone else did. But, the fact was, Geoff was lonely. If company was coming for dinner and for the evening, someone his age, he wanted to be included.
What finally decided it for him was that Todd said he trusted this kid. If Todd could trust him, he felt he could, too. He really trusted Todd’s judgment. And he didn’t want to sit in his room Friday night and Saturday till the kid left. He wanted to eat with them, maybe play pool with them, watch TV with them, the whole nine yards. He wanted to meet him so he could talk about him with Todd later, too. He was starting to feel very protective, very brotherly toward Todd. It was different from what he’d felt with his older sibs, more like what he felt for his younger one. Although his younger brother was weird.
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Friday was exciting. Todd couldn’t think of anything but what would happen that night. He was having Andy over! He was nervous and scatterbrained all day, unable to focus on anything but what might happen that night.
He kept thinking about it, picturing it. They’d eat dinner. His father was supposed to be there. He’d said he would when Todd had asked him. Todd had told him he was having a friend over, and hoped his father would eat with them, and meet his friend.
He could see in his father’s eyes that he wanted to ask Todd more about the kid, that he was curious. But Todd also saw that he didn’t quite know how to start that conversation, and in the end, had simply smiled and said of course, if Todd wanted him there, he’d be there, and was looking forward to meeting his friend.
Todd was picturing the evening. Geoff would be with them at first, and he hoped Andy wouldn’t be too afraid of him for them to have fun. Geoff had changed. He had to get Andy to see that.
But most of all, he was picturing when they went upstairs. He couldn’t stop thinking of that. He knew Andy was shy, but he’d been less shy lately. Occasionally, when Todd had been reading or on the computer and Andy had been doing his own thing too, Todd had looked up and seen Andy looking at him. He’d been sort of flirty lately, too, in a very tentative and uncertain sort of way. Todd wasn’t sure what it meant, but hoped it might be what he himself was feeling. He’d grown to like Andy more and more, and thought Andy might be thinking and feeling that way about him, too.
Todd was feeling really horny. He was hoping, hoping a lot, that Andy was, too. That maybe something would happen. It had been a long time since he’d messed around with Adam.
He wasn’t picturing what might actually happen. Every time his mind started going in that direction, he started getting hard, and he sure didn’t want that to happen in school, or even at home where Geoff might see.
In gym on Friday, he dressed out, then found Andy. They were playing badminton in class now, all doubles of course so only a few guys had to sit out, and then only till a match was done. He and Andy were partners. Neither of them was a great player, but both were small and light and had fast reactions. Andy had pretty good hand–eye coordination. He got most everything back. Todd wished he was as good, but he almost was. They weren’t the best out on the floor, but they loved playing together, and probably had the most fun of anyone. Neither one criticized the other when he screwed something up.
They’d showered afterwards, both being careful not to look. Especially today.
It was when Todd was almost dressed, just tying his shoes, that he realized someone was standing over him. He looked up to find Frank Ryan.
Todd hadn’t been bullied at all since Geoff had become involved with protecting him. Geoff hadn’t been at school since he’d left home, but perhaps people hadn’t noticed, or perhaps they were afraid of what would happen when he returned, because Todd had been left alone. Now, Frank was looking down at him.
“Where’s your boyfriend. Haven’t seen him lately?”
Todd looked around quickly. The senior that always monitored the room wasn’t there. At least Todd couldn’t see him.
“Hey, fag, I asked you something.”
Todd stood up. He was scared, but he also was remembering his lessons in the basement. Run if you can, he kept thinking. If you can’t, look for a way to end things fast.
“Hey, I’m talking to you. Where’s Geoff? He hasn’t been around. If he’s gone for good, you and I have some unfinished business.”
“Leave me alone. I don’t have any business with you. Just leave me alone.”
“Awwwww. Is he going to cry? Is he that scared?” His tone was mocking and loud enough to draw a crowd, which is what he wanted to do.
Todd was looking for a way to run. He was sort of trapped against his locker, but there was a bench in front of it, and Frank was on the other side of that.
Frank was getting impatient. Several boys had come to watch and it was time to do something. He reached out to grab Todd by the shirt. Todd put his foot on the bench and pushed it hard. The bench tipped over, falling toward Frank, who had to jump back to keep his toes from being squashed, or his shins from getting shredded. While he was jumping backwards, Todd took off, running down the length of the lockers. He got to where the upset bench ended, and by then Frank was about two steps behind. Todd juked like he was going to go left, and Frank took a step in that direction to cut him off. Todd went right instead and hit the door out of the dressing room running. Frank, swearing, followed him out of the room. He was bigger than Todd but not nearly as nimble or quick or scared as the boy, and he had no chance of catching him.
Todd didn’t stop. He ran all the way to Mr. McCluskey’s office. He’d been told enough times that he had to tell someone when he was being bullied. This time, finally, he was going to do it.
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Vic Harper was worried. He’d put a feeler out for information on Allen. Supplying meth to the city, he knew lots of people. There was a janitor that worked split shifts at the hospital. He’d been getting free meth since Allen was admitted, and he’d been checking Allen’s chart when he swept his room. The guy had just met Vic in the bar and told him Allen was coming out of his coma. The kid had said a couple of words early in the morning, then fallen asleep again. They were hoping for something more later today, maybe tomorrow.
Vic slipped the guy a baggie, then finished his beer. The bartender looked at him, and Vic nodded. Nothing wrong with drinking beer at nine in the morning. He did it all the time. Breakfast of champions. Made from grain, wasn’t it? Just like cereal.
Allen. Shit! He knew he had to do something, but it was risky. He was too noticeable. Too big. If he was seen, and something happened to Allen, there’d be a manhunt much bigger than the one going on now. He’d got it from his source within the department that they only had one guy assigned to finding him now, and the guy wasn’t all that sharp, and was lazy to boot. They were only after him because of what his idiot son Geoff had told them. They knew Geoff was a kid who was in trouble all the time at school, so they probably didn’t really believe him. But if Allen backed up his story, and they’d probably get him to by telling him Geoff had ratted, then it would be a much bigger deal.
If they turned the whole department loose on him, they’d probably find him.
Now, they only wanted him for questioning so they weren’t looking too hard. Two people were missing, but they weren’t very important people and Geoff wasn’t very believable—they probably thought he’d made it up when he’d ratted out his father for making meth, said that simply to get out of trouble for fucking up Allen. As for the other two missing people, no one was making a fuss about them, so the cops weren’t looking hard.
He drank half his beer without taking the bottle from his lips, but realized he shouldn’t get drunk. He needed to do something, and probably tonight. He had no idea if Allen would wake up lucid, or whether he’d say anything Vic had to worry about. But he wasn’t about to take the chance. If Allen woke up with his head all muddled, who knew what he might say when they started throwing questions at him and acting like they were his friends and all.
Vic started thinking, then glanced around the bar. The janitor was sitting at a table by himself, drinking a beer and watching two guys shoot pool, probably going to go home and diddle his wife, maybe get some shuteye after that. He’d just got off his shift and was going back tonight. Vic got up and walked past him, and as he did, said, “Meet me in the parking lot,” without looking down at him. He kept going, and walked out the door.
A couple of minutes later, the janitor came out blinking his eyes in the bright sunlight, saw Vic and walked over to him. Vic took his arm and they walked behind the building; Vic didn’t want them to be seen talking together.
“Tell me what room the kid is in.”
The janitor was wondering if giving Vic more info meant he should ask for more meth. He could sell it if he had it, pocket some change. He was about to ask when Vic took his bicep in his hand and squeezed. The guy yelped, and said, “Room 313. Third floor, middle of the corridor, near the nurses’ station.”
Vic eased off, but still held on to him. He thought a moment and said, “Are there any empty rooms on that floor, any near one of the stairways?”
“Yeah, right at the end of the hall. They don’t use it unless they have to because the nurses don’t like to walk that far.”
“Any others open?”
“Not right now.”
“Which side of the hospital is it on, the front or the back?”
“The back.”
“Good. Here’s what you do. When you go in tonight, spill something that stinks in the kid’s room. Bleach, ammonia, something. Call the nurses. If they don’t automatically think of moving him to that room, sort of volunteer you could roll him down there because it was your fault. You got that?”
“Well….”
Vic squeezed the bicep again, harder, and the guy winced. Without loosening his grip, Vic said, “Do it just before the shift change, when they’re all thinking about going home. After you’ve moved him, which should be right around 11 PM, blink the lights in the room twice.”
Vic’s voice became threatening. “I’d better see those light blink.” He let go his arm, and the janitor reached up and rubbed it with his other hand. Vic glared at him, then turned and walked off. He was about three feet away when he turned back and said, “OK?”
The threat was still in his voice, and his eyes were hard. The janitor nodded. Vic stared at him a moment longer, then turned and walked back into the bar.
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At ten thirty, Vic was waiting in the parking lot behind the hospital. He was using the car of a friend who was out of town and that the cops didn’t know he was driving. The friend didn’t know, either.
At 10:45, Vic saw the lights in the room at the end of the building blink twice. He got out of the car, then opened the trunk and took out a white medical jacket he’d found at an industrial clothing and uniform outlet in the next town over. He slipped it on. It hadn’t been easy finding one in his size. He guessed there weren’t many doctors as large as he was.
He picked up a small bag that could easily be mistaken for a doctor’s bag. Then he closed the trunk and walked to the door on the end of the building. It was locked as he’d expected. He didn’t have the plastic card with the magnetic strip he’d need to open it.
While he’d expected the door would be locked, he’d also figured with the shift change about to occur, he wouldn’t have to wait long before someone opened it.