Vic waited, and as he expected, nurses and orderlies, lab workers and other hospital staff began using the door. He waited, standing off to the side, fiddling with his cell phone with his back half turned away, acting as though he couldn’t get the darn thing to work, being as unnoticeable as he could.
A pair of nurses, complaining to each other about a surly supervisor who’d rebuked one of them, wholly absorbed in their discussion, pushed through the door and walked off into the parking lot. They appeared to be the last of the exiting group and oblivious to Vic’s presence. He took a quick glance inside and didn’t see anyone coming behind them. He sidled closer to the door, waited, and at the last moment, just before the door shut, reached out and grabbed the edge with his fingers. A moment later, he was inside.
A long corridor stretched away in front of him with nurses and various other people moving purposefully here and there, talking to each other or looking at papers in their hands. He was at the very end of the hallway and no one was looking in his direction. The door to the stairs was right next to him. He pushed it open and stepped inside.
He was alone in the stairwell. Taking two steps at a time, he quickly climbed to the third floor, then peeked through the glass window in the door. Two nurses were coming out of a room three doors up the hall. As he watched, they turned and walked the other way.
He was about to open the door when a man stepped out of the room he was sure Allen was in. Vic froze. The man was wearing a white coat and had a stethoscope draped around his neck. Vic slowly stepped back so he couldn’t be seen through the window and hoped the man wasn’t going to use the stairs. The door remained closed. Counting to thirty without moving, Vic took a deep breath and then looked again. The corridor was empty.
He eased the door open, took three quick steps and he was in the end room. There were two beds in the room, only one of which was occupied. Allen.
The boy was hooked up to a life–support monitor recording his vitals. There was an IV in his arm; another tube snaked from under the covers in the middle of the bed and went to a graduated container hanging on the side containing a yellowish liquid.
Vic stepped to the bed. He opened the bag he’d brought and took out a ball peen hammer. Without pause, he hit Allen in the side of the head that had a thick bandage on it. Hard, causing a viscous squelchy sound. Then he dropped the hammer back in the bag, closed it, and was already at the door when the high–pitched squeal from the monitor shattered the silence in the room.
Vic was standing in the stairway, looking through the glass of the closed door, standing back far enough so he wouldn’t be seen. When he saw two nurses turn the corner in the middle of the corridor and come running down the hall pushing a crash cart, he turned and started down the stairs.
He hoped the opinion would be that Allen’s original injury had caused his death. But, even if they recognized that he had been hit a second time, there would be nothing tying him to it. Sure, the cops might think that he’d done it if they were morbid enough to think a father could do that to his own son, but they might think it had been Geoff, too. Maybe he had still been angry with Allen for trying to rape him and he’d come out of hiding to finsh the job he’d started.
The cops’d thought a lot of things about him in the past that hadn’t got him locked up. They’d have to prove it was him, and if his luck held for just a few more minutes, they’d have no chance of doing that. All that was left was to get out of the hospital and ditch the hammer and coat without being seen and he’d be free and clear.
»»»» 0 ««««
Mr. Mortensen liked Andy right away when he met him Friday night. The kid was adorable. He had a problem meeting anyone’s eyes, and seemed either afraid of Geoff or in awe of him, but Mr. Mortensen thought it was probably just shyness; it certainly did add to his appeal, and made Mr. Mortensen want to hug him. He was very polite, he didn’t say much, which was a plus in Mr. Mortensen’s eyes, and it was obvious he and Todd liked each other.
Mr. Mortensen didn’t mind that Todd was gay. He’d only cared when he thought it would reflect badly on him. He had finally started to see Todd as his own person, not as a flawed extension of himself, one likely to jeopardize his career. Dr. Schwartz had worked hard to get him to realize that, and a lot of other things, too. He was seeing things about himself he hadn’t been aware of, and was beginning to understand himself better. He had a long way to go, but he could now see the merit in his bi–weekly sessions, and he no longer fought them.
He watched how the two boys interacted. To him, it was apparent their interest in each other went beyond simple friendship. He didn’t know if they’d done anything romantic yet, or even if they’d admitted to each other how they felt. But he could certainly see how they looked at each other when they didn’t know anyone was watching.
He was quite a little bit surprised at Geoff, too. Geoff was all boy, a very macho boy as well. A little loud, a lot rough around the edges, not modest, a definitely not easily embarrassed. Todd wasn’t a bit feminine, but he was softer than Geoff in most aspects, not as tough, more, more what? Refined, Mr. Mortensen guessed. For one thing, if Geoff was frustrated, he’d say a cuss word or four to express how he felt, and made no attempt to still his temper. Even if he was just excited, he’d swear and make his feelings known. You always tended to know what emotions he was experiencing at any given moment. With Todd, you seldom knew what he was feeling. He was very self–contained, self–protective, and Mr. Mortensen now was aware that he himself had been a seminal cause of that.
What puzzled Mr. Mortensen was that by all rights, Geoff should have seen what he himself saw, the obvious feelings the two younger boys shared, the chemistry between them, and the Geoff he’d come to know, the macho, bluff, outspoken boy, should have been appalled. He should have reacted with teasing at the very least, maybe even sarcasm, and it would have been well within his character to have shown scathing hostility. He hadn’t. Instead, he had gone out of his way to be nice to Andy, and ignored what Mr. Mortensen found so transparent.
Mr. Mortensen sat back and watched, instead of leading the conversation as he usually did. He found what was happening interesting. Something to figure out later.
“Could you pass me the beans, please, Andy?” Geoff smiled at him.
Andy was having a hard time figuring Geoff out. This kid had been the worst bully in school, getting in fights all the time, picking on smaller kids. Of course, that meant almost everyone in school as Geoff was one of the biggest kids there, even though he was only 15. Even the seniors steered clear of him because Geoff made it clear he was always ready, even eager, for a fight. He’d never picked on Andy, but then that probably was because Andy had been adept at making himself nearly invisible, and he’d made it a habit to move away when he’d seen Geoff. Geoff simply hadn’t noticed him.
Andy, on finding Geoff at Todd’s house, had expected him to be as he remembered him. But, instead, the boy was being really nice. He wasn’t behaving a bit like a bully. And Todd made it clear the two were friends. Andy could always tell when kids were friends, or weren’t, and these two were. Yet he knew Geoff had picked on Todd in school, and not just once or twice. He’d done it lots of times.
But then, that one day in gym, Geoff had kicked Frank Ryan’s ass for taking Todd’s jock strap.
Andy didn’t get it. But, he was glad that Geoff was being nice, as even being in the same room with him, this close to him, made him nervous.
He passed him the beans, and Geoff thanked him. Andy returned his smile. Couldn’t hurt. If the meanest, scariest thug in school wanted to be friends with him, or just wanted to be nice to him, he was all for it.
“Todd told me you take pictures. And even develop them, too. How long you been doing that?” Geoff asked.
Hesitantly, Andy began talking. Todd watched. He knew Geoff was trying to pull Andy out of himself, to make him part of the group. He hadn’t known Geoff was capable of that. And, he suddenly thought, maybe Geoff hadn’t known it before, either.
Andy answered the questions, even volunteering some things once he got to talking, and some of the things he said got Mr. Mortensen interested. When Todd mentioned that he’d seen some of Andy’s work and it was fantastic, and Andy had blushed, Mr. Mortensen asked if he could see some of Andy’s pictures. He wasn’t really expecting the thought to go anywhere and mostly just asked the question to be part of the discussion. But, once he said it, he also said that if the pictures looked as good as Todd said, he might want to have Andy do some photographic work for him.
That stirred Andy’s interest, so Mr. Mortensen told him that his company was just beginning work on a corporate PR brochure, showcasing headquarters and then some of their manufacturing operations around the country with pictures of the facilities and the key people who ran them, and maybe Andy would be able to submit some shots.
Mr. Mortensen went on to say that his company used professionals for this sort of thing, but if Andy was interested, and his work appealed to Mr. Mortensen, he’d be happy to have someone besides their regular photographers get involved in the project.
When there was a lull in the conversation, Todd told them what had happened in gym that day. Andy already knew. Mr. Mortensen and Geoff both had the same reaction; they got angry.
“That son of a bitch! When I can get out of here, he’s dead meat!” Geoff exploded, his face turning red. He glared at Todd, then realized that might give him the wrong impression, and glared at the table instead.
Mr. Mortensen put his fork down and sat very still for a moment. He was shocked at the anger he was feeling. When he spoke it was with a frosty, very controlled voice. “Has this sort of thing happened before?” Todd knew that voice. It was the prelude to violent anger. Except, this time, Todd didn’t think it was directed at him, but maybe in support of him. It occurred to him that for maybe the first time his father was showing an interest in what he dealt with so often, and some compassion for him as a person.
Todd nodded at his father. “It used to happen a lot. Not so much any more. I told Mr. McCluskey about it this time, like he’s asked me to. He said he’d take care of it. Then I heard that Frank has been suspended. Later, Mr. McCluskey called Tom Sweeney in and talked to him, too. He’s a friend of Frank’s and someone else I’ve had problems with. Mr. McCluskey told Tom that he knew Frank was his buddy, knew that they hung together, and he’d be watching him. He told him the two of them had better stay well away from me. If either one tried anything, now that they’d been forewarned, they wouldn’t just get suspended, they’d be expelled.”
Mr. Mortensen, looking intense, asked, “These guys have done this before, then. Anyone else?”
Todd was very surprised to see his father seething because of problems he’d had. “I had a lot of trouble at first, but it’s better, now. And I’m learning to defend myself. Geoff’s been helping me.”
Mr. Mortensen slowly shook his head. “I sorry. I wasn’t much help, was I Todd? I will be now, if I can. You can tell me if this sort of thing happens. I want to know. I want to help.”
Todd smiled at him, and tried to hide the surprise he was feeling over his father’s change of attitude; he didn’t want anything to disrupt this new dynamic between the two of them. “OK. I really like hearing you say that. Thanks.”
After dinner, the boys went to the family room. Andy hadn’t ever played pool before, so Todd spent some time showing him how. He sank a few balls himself, telling Andy to watch how he did it. Then he had Andy try. As with most beginners, Andy didn’t quite get how to hold the cue. When he tried to hit the cue ball, the cue stick itself often would glance off the ball ineffectively.
Todd watched as Andy grew progressively more frustrated. “This looks so easy, watching you do it, and I can’t do it at all!”
Todd walked over to help. “Here, look. Holding the cue steady in your hand so it can’t wiggle around is the key. If it moves sideways or up or down when you’re striking the cue ball, your tip won’t contact the ball correctly, and you’ll never make a clean shot. Here. Line up your shot, get ready to hit a ball, and then I’ll help.”
Andy got in position, leaning over the table, and when he did, Todd got behind him, leaning over him, getting Andy’s left hand and fingers in the correct position. Almost immediately, he became aware of just how much body contact he was making to Andy, what parts of their bodies were touching and how intimate it was, and he had to excuse himself and ask Geoff to do it instead. Todd quickly moved to a chair and sat down.
Not long after that, Monica came in. “Any of you boys want ice cream sundaes?”
“Yeah, Monica, that sounds great! I’ll help you make them!” Geoff got up and followed her towards the kitchen.
Todd caught Andy’s eyes, which were very bright, and filled with complicated emotions, including indecision.
Todd, feeling he could read Andy’s mind by what he was reading in his eyes, dithered. Andy seemed as excited by what might happen later as he himself was. Nothing in Andy’s eyes was saying no. But, Todd was also 14 and liked the idea of sundaes. He figured that whatever might happen with Andy, they could wait for a few minutes longer. Still…. But, deciding, he called out to Monica. “All right. Chocolate syrup, vanilla ice cream, and peanuts for me if we have any.” He glanced at Andy, saw a nod, and yelled, “For both of us, please.”
Andy grinned, and seemed to breathe again. “Yeah. OK. That’s good.” And then softer, not wanting Monica to hear, “I hope it doesn’t take long.” Both boys looked at each other then, and couldn’t help giggling. Their eyes were wider than usual, and their hearts were pumping faster.
The sundaes didn’t take long. The two boys went to the kitchen where Geoff already had the ice cream out of the freezer and was scooping it into bowls. Monica was setting the syrup and nuts out on the table.
The two boys started eating as soon as they built their sundaes. Taking large spoonfuls, swallowing quickly, looking at each other, they raced to finish. Geoff watched, not sure what was going on, but feeling something was. There seemed to be electricity in the air, and he had no idea why.
Andy finished first, and Todd wasn’t more than a few seconds behind. Geoff had half his sundae left.
“Thanks,” Todd said, to both Geoff and Monica. He exaggerated a yawn. “I’m really tired, and Andy is too. I think we’ll go up now.”
And they did.
Geoff looked bemusedly at Monica, and then suddenly a huge grin spread across his face. Monica just looked at him as he began laughing.
»»»» 0 ««««
“You want a shower?”
Andy wasn’t sure how to answer, what to do. This was all new. The one thing he knew was, he really liked Todd. And he was excited about what might happen, sort of wanting something to, sort of afraid it would. He’d been thinking about it, and now here they were. But his main worry now was, how could they ever start doing anything without him being totally embarrassed? Just an innocent question like this one left him with no idea how to answer, because he wasn’t sure what it meant.
A shower sounded good. But it meant getting undressed. And Andy wasn’t sure if he was supposed to do that in front of Todd, or if Todd was going to shower too, or, well, or what? Of course, they’d already showered together after gym. But this was much, much different.
“I’m going to take one. You want to also?” Todd could feel the anxiety, the uncertainty in Andy and tried to help.
OK, there it was again! What did Todd mean by that? Damn, Andy just didn’t seem to know what anything meant tonight! Did he mean they should take their showers together? Did Todd want to do that? Andy’d be too embarrassed, and probably hard, too, and if Todd wasn’t, well…. But he didn’t want to say no to Todd if this was what Todd wanted.
So Andy just stood there, blushing and feeling more awkward with every passing second.
Todd walked over to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Then he said, “Come here.” And walked to the bed and sat on it, patting the space next to him. Andy slumped onto the bed next to him.
“Are you nervous?” Todd asked.
“Yes.” Andy’s voice was very soft, and he nodded while speaking, looking down.
“I am too. Real nervous. But I’m happy and excited, too.”
“Me too.” Andy looked at Todd very briefly and smiled. “I’m really nervous, and excited, too,” he said to his lap.
Andy wouldn’t raise his eyes or say anything else, so Todd continued, trying his best to make the boy loosen up.
“Andy, I really like you. A lot. Maybe even more than that. I want to do things with you, but I want you as a friend too. I want tonight to be great, maybe the first of many sleepovers. I’m nervous and excited and have been all day.”
“Me too.” Andy was still looking down, but risked a quick glance up and saw Todd grinning. Andy was grinning, too, even if it was nervously.
Todd laughed then. “Look, instead of being so nervous now, let’s just tell each other what we’re feeling, and if something is embarrassing, or confusing, let’s get it out in the open. The embarrassing thing is, we don’t know what the other is thinking. So, let’s ask! I asked if you wanted a shower, and I could see all sorts of wheels turning in your head, and it was obvious you didn’t know what to say. If you asked me about a shower, at your house, I’d probably act the same way. I’d wonder if you meant anything by that. And probably all you did mean was, did I want a shower? We’re both so nervous, we’re overthinking everything.”
He stopped. Andy kept his eyes up and chuckled, relaxing a little. “You’re right. I didn’t know if you were going to take a shower, or if you meant we should take one together. I didn’t know whether I wanted to do that or not. It seemed to be rushing things. You’re right: we should talk. It’s easier if we talk. I know I’m a little embarrassed and not sure what to do, and maybe you are too, and we shouldn’t be. We both like each other. We’re probably both thinking and feeling the same things. We don’t need to be embarrassed.”
Todd relaxed a little. “Yeah. Me too. I feel the same way. OK. I’m going to take a shower. I think it would be better if we took separate showers tonight. I want to take one with you so bad”—he stopped and grinned at Andy—“but not tonight. How’s that?”
Andy laughed. “That’s perfect. I’ll take one too, then. Who’s first?”
“Either way. You’re the guest, why don’t you go first? Is that OK? You go first, I’ll go second. While I’m showering, you can get in bed.”
“OK. But that’s another thing to talk about. OK?”
“Sure. And I know what you want to talk about.” Todd laughed. This was fun!
Andy blushed. “Yeah, you probably do. What do you wear to bed? No, wait. That won’t tell me what I want to know. OK, this is better. What are you going to wear to bed tonight?”
Todd grinned and didn’t blush. His eyes sparkled. “I’m going to wear whatever you’re going to wear.” And then he laughed.
“That doesn’t help a bit!” Andy yelled in exasperation. He was grinning too.
“All right, if you want me to make the decision, I will. I’m going to sleep naked.” He paused, but then added quickly, “If you will.”
Andy didn’t say anything. He looked at Todd, dropped his eyes for a moment, then looked up at Todd and his eyes were sparkling too. Two could play this game!
“Well, I think I’ll take my shower now. Which towel is mine?”
“Hey, wait a minute.” Todd tried to sound outraged, and didn’t quite pull it off; there was way too much grin in his voice. “You can’t do that! What do I do when I come out of the bathroom? Do I put something on or not? You’re not telling me anything! You can’t leave me hanging!”
“I guess if you don’t put something on, hanging is what you will be doing!”
“Andy! A sex joke! I don’t believe it! But that doesn’t answer my question!”
Andy got up and, making like he was nonchalantly whistling, started toward the bathroom, looking up and pretending to whistle, pretending either great unconcern for any petty problems Todd might be having, or that he simply didn’t hear anyone talking to him. “I’ll just use whatever towel I want, I guess.” He walked into the bathroom and closed the door, and Todd could hear the shower start.
»»»» 0 ««««
Nervously, Todd finished brushing his teeth. He was hard. He had been since half way through his shower. He was anticipating what was to come, even if he wasn’t certain anything would. But he thought it would. Something at least. Andy was acting too excited, too giddy. There was no way Todd would simply get in bed and they’d both go to sleep. No way at all!
Andy had come out of the bathroom after his shower looking all rosy cheeked and fresh, wearing only a towel, and looking as cute as Todd had ever seen him. He’d had the greatest smile on his face, all shy and alive and eager and, well, it had been a great, great smile! He’d walked to the bed, sat down, and said, “Your turn!”
Todd had looked. Of course he’d looked. Andy’s towel wasn’t tented at all. Maybe Andy wasn’t feeling as randy as he was. Maybe he was but was able to control it better. Maybe he was hard, but small enough that it was hidden in the towel. Or maybe he’d tucked it between his legs.
No point in speculating. He’d find out in a few minutes. At least he sure hoped he would.
Now, he spit and rinsed and wrapped a towel around himself. There was no question what he was feeling. The towel pushed out in front. How was he going to walk out like this? Or should he just do it? That would be too much like advertising. No, he didn’t want to do that.
He figured out what to do. He wrapped the towel around himself, then grabbed it in the front to hold it from slipping, his hand placed strategically both to hold the towel and press against his erection which was pointing up toward his belly button.
He walked into the room. Andy was in bed, his eyes even more alive than they had been earlier. He seemed to be breathing faster than normal, too.
Todd switched off the ceiling light. His bedside lamp was still on, providing the only light in the room.
He walked to the bed. “I don’t have anything on under this,” he said. His voice sounded funny to him. He wondered what it sounded like to Andy.
“OK,” was all Andy said.
Todd reached down and turned out the light, and before Andy’s eyes could accustom themselves to the darkened room, Todd dropped his towel and slipped into bed.
Both boys lay on their backs, about a foot apart. There was silence for a long moment.
Then Todd moved. He rolled onto his side, so he was facing Andy. And then he waited. It was up to Andy now.
Andy didn’t hesitate. He rolled over to face him. Todd put out his hand, and reached for Andy. His hand, his fingers, barely touched his face, brushing it, then stroking it. “You have the most beautiful skin,” he said softly. Then, feeling bolder, asked, “Can I kiss you?”
Andy didn’t answer. Instead, he wriggled closer.
Todd did too, until their bodies were against one another. No question, now. Todd felt Andy’s body, and knew he’d not put anything on either. They were both as hard as they’d ever been, and they were pressing against one another.
Todd kissed Andy, very gently at first. Andy returned the kiss, just as gently, pecks and quick, soft pecks at first, but quickly, very quickly, they became firmer, more emotion–filled, longer kisses, gentleness giving way to passion. Andy stopped, took a deep gasp of air, then started kissing more passionately still. Todd copied him, and quickly the two were kissing like starving men having their first meal in days. The more passion Todd put into his kisses, the more passion Andy returned.
Todd didn’t even know when it had begun, their kissing had been so frenzied, so avid, but realized suddenly he was grinding into Andy, and Andy was grinding back. They were kissing, and grinding, and it was as though neither one was conscious of what was happening any longer. Todd pulled his lips away. He had to breathe. Andy did too, once he had the chance. Then they were back together again, fiercer than before if that was possible.
Todd was moving his hands over Andy’s body, his back, sliding down to his butt, back up again, feeling his sides, his ribs, all and everything there was on the boy’s back and sides he could feel. He was doing it fast, unable to control himself, everything was going fast now, no holding back, and Andy was doing the same, just as excited, just as unable to slow down. The feel of Andy’s fingers over Todd’s skin fired him up even more, increasing the excitement, the lust, the need.
Todd was squirming, gasping, panting, grinding. Andy kissed and licked Todd’s neck, then his face. Todd wet Andy’s neck with his kisses and nibbles, releasing an odor of soap and boy that almost overpowered him. Moaning, Todd moved to and nuzzled Andy’s armpit, where the clean scent of him, mixed with a spicier aroma that was all Andy, was even stronger and more exhilarating. Andy had a sparse crop of hair, just like he did, and he tickled it with the tip of his tongue. Andy groaned, and thrust against him harder.
Todd crept back up to his neck, but it was hard to kiss it because Andy was moving, writhing over the bed now, in the grips of a gigantic passion he’d never, ever felt before. Then they were both clutching each other’s back, pulling themselves together, grinding, rubbing and kissing, kissing and rubbing whatever they could reach.
Andy settled into Todd’s arms as deeply as he could, kissing his lips, his face, his neck, rubbing his hands over him alternately while hugging him as tightly to him as he could. After only a few moments of this, he felt the stirrings inside, the ones that told him he was getting close, that the end was approaching, the tension building, and his body began to stiffen. His grinding became faster, shorter, more insistent, and he wasn’t even aware of the sounds he was making, uhs and ughs from deep inside him and longer, higher pitched moans. Todd was grinding hard, too, holding Andy as Andy was holding him, and he felt his body begin to ascend the mountain, too, climbing towards the peak, towards his personal nirvana. It was coming, and there was no stopping it now.
Todd pressed into Andy, his own movements now erratic, thrusting, moaning too, pulling Andy tighter to him, Andy doing the same thing, vocalizing noises that he’d never made before, not even hearing them, not aware he was making them. Andy was totally absorbed in sensations that seemed more than he could handle. He was panting, gasping, grinding, stiffening, and he could feel it beginning. He grabbed onto Todd as tightly as he could, fiercely, pushing against him as hard as he could, and then he was there, and there and there again.
Todd felt Andy climax, and he pulled Andy to him, too, as strongly as he could, and he too felt the rush, and the ultimate moment, the pause like that at the top of a roller coaster, and then release, the awesome release that had him screaming out in ecstasy. Both boys held on tightly then, not wanting to let go, hardly moving, just a slight grind, now and then when they dared, a fainter spasm now shuddering them, then slowly relaxing, not holding quite so tightly now, now spent. Only their raspy breathing continuing, continuing, then slowly easing.
Todd’s was a queen–size bed. It was way too big for two small teens. Both boys were used to sleeping alone. But that night, the two teens slept in each other’s arms, and most of the huge bed went unused. Neither had ever slept with someone else in his bed, but that didn’t matter a bit. They slept the sleep of the dead, and when they woke, they both nestled even tighter together and fell asleep again, smiles on both their faces.
»»»» 0 ««««
“I never felt anything like that before.”
Andy was sitting on the edge of the bed. He’d come back from the bathroom and hadn’t gotten back under the covers, just sat down, sort of staring at nothing, and smiling. Remembering.
Todd, still lying on his side, reached out for Andy, touching his leg, then letting his hand rest on his thigh. Fighting against the sunlight streaming into the room Todd willed himself to return to the half asleep state he’d just emerged from. He’d had the best moment in his life, then the best dream he could ever remember having, and was resisting leaving it behind. He was as hard as he’d been last night.
“I didn’t know I could feel like that.” Andy was looking down at him, his expression beatific. “I was just overcome. Everything was almost too much, but it wasn’t enough, either.” Andy struggled to say what he’d never tried to say before, to find the right words. “I was scared to start, and then I couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to stop. Ever. Part of the time it seemed almost like I was outside myself, watching myself, feeling things I didn’t know I could feel, that were there to feel.” Andy seemed somewhat dazed.
It had been Andy’s first time. Todd had already had a first time, with Adam. But this, this had been even better than that had been. Though he had idolized Adam, his feelings were different with Andy. More complex. Deeper.
He’d thought for the last week or so that he was falling in love with Andy. He wasn’t thinking that any more. He now knew he had fallen.
He sighed, then wriggled over so he was a little closer to Andy. He moved his hand a little, and was touching him between his legs, finding Andy in the same state he was in.
Andy giggled. He stretched, luxuriously, reminding Todd of a very contented cat. “I was scared, and shy,” Andy continued. “I didn’t know it would be like that. I didn’t know I could do something like this, either, sit here talking to you like nothing was happening, and you touching me like this, just like it was nothing.”
“Andy?”
“Yeah.” A little breathlessly.
Todd raised the covers. “Shut up and get back down in here with me.”
Andy grinned. And did.
It wasn’t the same as the night before. Andy was more aware of what was happening. Todd didn’t feel the need to make it happen so abruptly, so immediately as he had then. Last night, neither of them had been able to hold back. Now, there was a little less rush, a little less urgency, a little more time for exploration, a little more time to feel and prolong the moment.
The passion, the overwhelming sense of being together, the joy they shared—that hadn’t changed at all, however.
»»»» 0 ««««
Before they went down for breakfast, urged for the third time by Geoff who was getting impatient, they stopped by the bedroom door. Andy took Todd in his arms, or Todd took Andy in his—they both had different opinions of exactly how it was—and they went to kiss each other, and somehow, though they both meant it to be lips against lips, Todd ended up with both his lips around Andy’s top lip. He sort of sucked it in, and licked it, and snuggled his lips around it, and Andy was immediately hard and pushing his body against Todd’s, whimpering slightly.
It was a great surprise to both of them that they did go down to breakfast soon thereafter.
»»»» 0 ««««
Geoff had his trusty waffle iron fired up and buttered, he had warmed a pitcher of real maple syrup, he had both bacon and sausages cooked, he had the eggs mixed and ready to roll, and they still weren’t coming down! He started to go up a fourth time and met them on the stairs. The beginnings of a sarcastic comment were forming on his lips when he really looked at them. He bit his tongue and smiled.
He wasn’t about to tease them. His own life had been hard, and he knew Todd’s had been, too. Todd hadn’t told him everything, but in their talks in the basement, he’d let things out. So he knew Todd’s life had been pretty bad, too. Because of that, he wasn’t going to tease them. He liked Andy, and he felt like a big brother to Todd, the kind of big brother who cared. If these two were together, and were happy, and it sure looked like that to him, he’d do all he could to see no one made any trouble for them.
Besides which, the way they were looking at each other, and letting their hands brush against each other’s as they walked down stairs, he didn’t think they were ready for teasing. They looked like they were mostly ready to go back upstairs again!
»»»» 0 ««««
Todd came home from school on Monday and saw from the hallway that Geoff was sitting in the kitchen with Monica next to him. Her hand was on his shoulder. Geoff was almost always working in the basement when Todd came home in the afternoon. He stopped and watched the two before they noticed him, and something about their body language told him there was a problem of some kind. Trouble.
He dumped his backpack and walked to the kitchen. “What’s wrong?” he asked, stopping in the doorway.
Geoff looked up, and Todd could see the pain in his face. The boy started to speak, then stopped. Monica squeezed his shoulder before answering Todd herself. “He just got a call from Mr. McCluskey at your school. He told Geoff that his brother Allen has died. Geoff thinks it’s his fault.”
Geoff turned his head and wiped his eyes, then spoke in a raspy voice. “It must be. I hit him in the head when he was trying to rape me, like Mr. McCluskey told you. He’s been in a coma. Now he’s dead. I killed him.”
Todd walked over to him and pulled him into a hug. “You were just protecting yourself, Geoff. You weren’t trying to kill him. You were just stopping him from raping you. It was self–defense.”
“No matter what it was, I killed him. And now that he’s dead, I don’t know if the police will even believe it was self–defense. Do you think they’ll buy that?”
Todd thought for a moment. “What did Mr. McCluskey say? If the cops were going to arrest you, they’d have had Mr. McCluskey tell them where you were. He’d have had to do that. But they haven’t come for you, so I don’t think they’re going to. Did Mr. McCluskey say anything other than that Allen had died?”
“Yeah, he said there was going to be an autopsy, that the doctors who were treating him said he shouldn’t have died when he did, that he was getting better.” Geoff gulped, and Todd could see tears forming again. He walked to the refrigerator and got the water pitcher out, trying to give Geoff time to compose himself.
“OK. Maybe it was something else, then. Geoff, it just happened, and whatever the reason, you can’t feel it was your fault. Allen attacked you. He was on top of you, trying to rape you. Really, any blame for his death was his own.”
“It still hurts. I killed him. I know I did.”
Todd didn’t say anything else, but stayed by his side. Eventually, Geoff got up and went down to the basement. When Todd joined him later, Geoff wasn’t working on his project. Instead he was standing and hammering the heavy bag, over and over, pounding it with his fists, dripping with sweat and shaking. Todd went over and stopped him, had him sit down, and got him a bottle of cold water from the refrigerator. They sat in silence for a long time. Todd finally went upstairs to do his homework. He was pleased when Geoff joined him a few minutes later.
“I didn’t like Allen much,” he said, less emotion in his voice now. He reached for his book, then opened it to where Todd was in his. He looked up at Todd. “I didn’t like him, but it seems so strange to know he’s dead. I used to have three brothers. Now I only have one, and I don’t even know where he is.”
»»»» 0 ««««
School was better now. Todd hadn’t stretched the truth to his father about that. Geoff wasn’t there to either harass or protect him, so that was about a toss up. Frank Ryan had been suspended for a week, and when he’d returned, he’d had to sit through a lecture from Mr. McCluskey that left him in no doubt of what would happen should there be any other incidents involving Todd. The women outside his office in the administrative section looked at each other and shook their heads at the shouting that went on and on.
So Frank was now leaving Todd alone, too.
There were of course other bullies at school as well, but they sensed a difference in the mood of the school now, and in any case tended to follow the leads of Geoff and Frank, and as Todd wasn’t being bothered by either of those, they were leaving him alone as well.
Todd was carrying himself differently now. He was standing up straighter, keeping his eyes raised, and he wasn’t slinking around the halls, hoping not to be noticed. The fear that had lived in his eyes was no longer present. While there were many reasons for this, some of the change in him was because of what he and Geoff were doing in the basement most days.
Geoff had recovered quickly from Allen’s death, at least on the surface. Todd has asked Mr. McCluskey and found out the cops were keeping quiet about the autopsy results, which suggested to him that there might be more to his death than his original injury. When Todd had mentioned this to Geoff, he had just shrugged.
The training in the basement had become more intense as Todd had become more fit, and Todd gritted his teeth while they were doing it. He didn’t like it, but was learning, and Geoff was noticing.
“No! No no no! Keep your left hand up! Turn sideways a little, and for god’s sake, keep moving.” Geoff’s exasperation showed. Todd simply wasn’t a natural fighter, and trying to teach him often took more patience than Geoff could manage.
Todd laughed. “Well, jeeze Louise, I thought I was holding my left up.”
“Don’t call me Louise! And no, you weren’t holding it up. I could have snuck my right in with no problem at all. I should probably tap you a few times when you leave an opening, let you see what it’s like.”
“Uh, Geoff? I know what it’s like. Remember?” Todd laughed again, but then Geoff did remember, and he lowered both his gloved hands and head. He didn’t like being reminded of how he’d treated Todd.
Todd saw his reaction and hurried on with what he’d been about to say. “Hey, I’m sorry. You know I appreciate what you’re doing here. I am learning. But I don’t have the athletic ability to be really good at this. I can see where you need balance and strength and anticipation, and I’m not very good at any of those. Courage, too. I now see why you said running away would be my best strategy. But I still want to know what to do if I have to fight. Instead of you trying to teach me everything, though, wouldn’t it be better for me just to learn a couple of quick and dirty ways to end the fight?”
“Yeah, well, we already went over that, but maybe we should concentrate on it. That and building you up, working with the heavy bag, and the weight lifting, and calisthenics. But I think sparring a little is good, too. It helps your confidence, and that’ll show if you’re ever confronted. I know how things go, and just being able to stand, ready to fight, stand there looking the part, that’ll make some guys back off.”
“But won’t it also clue them in that I do know what I’m doing, and make them more cautious when they go about destroying me?”
Geoff shook his head. “Most guys are working on adrenalin at that point and aren’t spending much time analyzing anything at all. They’ll be working on instincts and experience then. You need to be the one who’s thinking.”
He grinned at Todd, then said, “Come on, put your hands back up. I’m the teacher here, you’re the student. You can tell me what to do in algebra, and why my book report sucked, but on the mat, you’re in my hands.” He threw a quick left which Todd awkwardly managed to block, and Geoff said, “Good! That’s what I want to see! You wouldn’t have stopped that last week. You are getting better!”
Todd grinned at the compliment, and when Geoff raised both his gloves for Todd to tap with his own, Todd blushed. He rarely got compliments from Geoff. This one felt good.
They continued to work, dancing, throwing punches, working on defense, Todd not liking it but sticking with it, Geoff encouraging him, correcting his mistakes. When they were tired, Todd dripping with sweat, Geoff gave him a short break, then had him drink some water before getting him to hit the heavy bag again. Todd hated the heavy bag, but he’d been doing it for weeks now. Geoff had had him shorten his punches to quicken them, shown him how to get his weight behind them by using more of his body, shown him where to hit, how to turn into the punches, and Todd was learning. Hating it, but learning.
»»»» 0 ««««
Andy watched Todd as he moved through the cafeteria, carrying his tray. When Todd sat down, Andy spoke.
“You look different. From what you did a couple of weeks ago.”
“I do?”
“Yeah. I can’t describe it exactly, but there’s something about you. For one thing, you don’t look so worried. And every now and then, you even look happy.”
Todd wrinkled his forehead, thinking, then smiled. “You know, I am. So much has changed in such a short time, but yeah, I do feel happy. Sort of free.”
Andy smiled back. “I have a suggestion for you.”
“A suggestion? Pour moi? What?”
“Something that might help you. Here at school. Help you fit in better.”
“What do you mean? What could I ever do to fit in better? I’m already perfect, you know.”
Andy laughed. “Well, you are to me, but I don’t notice you spending a lot of time talking to other kids. You should be one of the popular kids, and you’re not.”
“I don’t want to be, either. That’s not who I am.”
“Well, maybe not. Still, I think you’d be more comfortable if you had more people to talk to. Even if you don’t want to be an elite member of the popular crowd—and I don’t blame you a bit for that—you probably do want more friends, more kids you know and can talk to, and I think I can make a suggestion to help.”
“OK, but I probably won’t like it. I can’t be anybody other than who I am.”
“I don’t mean you should change your personality, stupid! I love you the way you are. Uh—” Andy stopped, suddenly realizing what he’d said, blushed, but then forced himself to continue “—well, I worded that wrong. I mean, you have a great personality, but no one knows about it.”
Todd grinned at Andy’s clear discomfort. “OK, OK, tell me what you’re talking about.”
“Your clothes. You look different from almost everyone else, and it’s because of how you dress. Your clothes are great, but they’re not what everyone else wears. I bet your father picked your clothes, right?”
“Well, yeah. Actually, he had a clerk at a high end department store pick everything out. He didn’t let me make any of my own decisions, and how I dressed was just one of those. You know that; we talked about it.”
“Yeah, I know. And it’s a problem. You wear polo shirts, or dress shirts that button up the front, pressed khakis or even wool slacks, polished leather shoes, and everyone else”—Andy glanced around the cafeteria, and indicated for Todd to do the same—“wears jeans and tee shirts. And sneakers. That’s probably one reason you were picked on.”
Todd thought about that, then looked around the room. He saw almost no one dressed as he was, with the exception of a few kids, all of whom he knew were labeled nerds and geeks. He’d known he dressed differently, and had been upset by it at first, but he’d been doing it since he’d started at this school, forced to do it by his father, and by now he was no longer really conscious of it.
“OK, I see your point. I guess we need to go shopping. Hit the mall. Um, you know, I’ve never done that, gone shopping for clothes by myself. You want to go with me? Please?”
Andy laughed. “Yeah, it’ll be fun. But I can’t tonight. Saturday would be better. How’s that sound?”
“Great! Want to stay over again Friday, then hit the mall Saturday?”
Andy grinned. This would be the third time he’d stayed over. He nodded, and then Todd grinned too.