The call to Brian’s mother had been terse, but at least she reluctantly agreed to meet for lunch the next day. Mrs. Sandler was already seated when Mrs. Johnson arrived at the restaurant.
“Hello, June. Have you been waiting long?”
“Hello, Ruth. No, I just got here a few minutes ago. Please, sit down.”
The two women sat quietly as the waitress took their orders.
“June, I really want to thank you for meeting with me. I know how difficult this all is and I just want you to know that our hearts go out to you and Alan, and especially to Brian.”
“I appreciate your concern, Ruth. I really do, but we shouldn’t be meeting like this. We’re probably going to be suing you, you know.”
“We’ve been expecting that. But this isn’t about money and I think you know that. We’re all much more concerned about Brian than anything else. All the money in the world won’t take away what he’s going through. And Aaron has been devastated.”
“If it weren’t for your son, my Brian would still be able to walk!”
“June, what our boys did was terrible… I won’t deny that,… but it wasn’t just Aaron. Brian was injured because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time, and they were together because they love each other.”
June Sanders snorted and said, “Love! How can two boys love each other? It’s not natural,… at least not in the way I was raised. Maybe… I guess don’t blame Aaron for the accident, but he’s still the one who made our son this way.”
“Do you really believe that, June?”
June sat silently for a minute and finally responded, “No. I guess I don’t know what to believe. I mean, I was always taught that homosexuality was wrong and that anyone who practiced it would go to Hell.”
“He’s just a boy, June. Do you really think that a loving God can hate a child?”
“But he’s old enough to choose to do this.” She sat silently for a minute and then continued, “I don’t know if he would have chosen this if it hadn’t been for Aaron,… but a part of me knows that he wouldn’t choose to sin at all. He’s a good boy and I guess I’m having a hard time accepting that he’s gay. My God!… My son is… My son is… gay.… He’s our only child… The thought that he could be damned forever to hell is just so horrifying, but he knows this. We raised him to be a good, God-fearing human being. No, my son wouldn’t choose to be gay. No one, not even Aaron could talk him into being gay. The only explanation is just too much to swallow right now. I guess I’ve been in denial for a long time. He didn’t choose this. I don’t know what we did to deserve this punishment…”
“June, Brian’s being gay isn’t a punishment. No one knows why some people are gay. I sure don’t know why Aaron’s gay, but I love him just the same.”
“I love my Brian no less. Nothing can change that. Not even… not even this.”
“All we can do is to raise our children the best way we know how, June, but at some point, the rest is up to them. It’s between Brian and God now, and deep down I cannot believe that God hates gays. I know you believe that the Bible is the word of God, but it was written down and interpreted by man for thousands of years. The Bible tells us that the sun moves around the earth, and we know that’s not true. It’s written in the Bible that we can’t wear red dresses, and yet we do.
“What about the shrimp in the salad you ordered? The Bible says that fish without scales are forever unclean. Eating shrimp is an abomination. What makes it right to stop keeping Kosher, but wrong to accept homosexuality? There was so much fear in biblical times. None of us really knows how God feels about gays, but since we cannot change our sons, the best that we can do is to give them a loving, caring environment. It’s not up to us to tell them what they can do, or who they can love.”
“I wish I could believe you, Ruth… Perhaps in time I will. I know you’re right about one thing, though. Brian isn’t going to change, and keeping him apart from Aaron has been the worst thing we could have done. It’s affected him horribly. If it weren’t for Mrs. Watson’s visits, I don’t know what he would have done. And, yes, I know what she’s doing… I’m not blind. Some day I’ll thank her for extending my son a lifeline.”
Just then their meals arrived and they started to eat. June continued, “Ruth, I know what we’ve done is wrong, and keeping the boys apart is making things a lot worse, but we still have to deal with what they did…”
“Of course we do. They violated our trust,” Ruth interrupted, “but now is not the time. And we must remember that they still love us… but they did what they did because they love each other.”
“Deep down, I know that, and if Brian is gay, it’s not up to me to change the way he feels. If Aaron is the one my Brian loves, then I will love Aaron no less than if he were a girl. I know it sounds strange for me to say this, but I’d rather go to Hell because I loved my son, than to go to Heaven because I hated him.
“The problem is that my husband is so headstrong. I’ve always believed in the teachings of the Church, but he sees the world in absolutes. He’s the one who wants to take Brian to Atlanta. There’s no way we could afford to stay down there for all of his rehabilitation. It would be just plain cruel to leave him down there, severing his ties from everyone he knows.” She paused for a bit, and then continued. “I can’t promise anything, but I’m going to have a talk with Alan.”
“Thank you, June. I know how hard this must be for you, but we both want the same thing for our boys. I hope that when this is all behind us, we can be friends.”
“I never thought I’d say this after the accident happened, but I think I’d like that.”
After they finished their meals, Ruth Johnson insisted on paying the check. They chatted amicably as they left the restaurant.
It was later that day, at dinnertime that Mrs. Sandler confronted her husband. “Alan, we need to talk about what’s best for our son.”
“What do you mean, June. We’re sending him to the best rehab program around.”
“But there is an equally good program right here. Why should we uproot him from his family and friends to send him clear away to Atlanta?”
“After what’s happened, do you really think he’s better off here? No, he needs a clean break with this place. He’ll get his rehab in Atlanta, away from his homo friends, and then maybe we’ll move away from here.”
“What do you mean move? I’ve got a great job, and this is our home. It’s our son’s home. I’ll tell you right now that I’m not going anywhere.”
“Don’t give me that, June. You know he’ll be better off away from that faggot who seduced him.”
“Do you really think he was seduced? What makes you think he won’t be seduced by ‘faggots’ wherever he goes?”
“He just won’t be. We won’t let him.”
Taking a deep breath and choosing her words carefully so as to appease her husband, June continued. “Alan, I don’t like the thought that our son might be gay any more than you do, but we have to face reality. It hurts to think our son might be condemned to burn in Hell, but I’m not about to sacrifice his future on the altar of my beliefs. If we keep him from Aaron, Alan, we’re gonna lose him. Alan, Brian’s gay.”
“No!”
“Yes, he is, Alan. He’s your son, and he’s gay.”
“No, I don’t believe that! I won’t let him be gay! God damn it, he doesn’t have to be! I know it!”
The vehemence of his reaction startled June, but she also sensed something else going on. Her husband was looking down at his food, staring at it but not eating it. Trained as a psychologist, the reality of what was going through his head suddenly dawned on her. She knew that some of the worst homophobes are often secretly gay themselves, and Alan’s behavior struck her as being way out of character. She wasn’t sure but, suddenly, everything seemed to fit. She was taking a big risk, but she wasn’t going to lose her son, no matter what.
“Alan, are you gay?”
His face flushed deep red for just a second, and then he looked up at his wife and seethed with anger. “Are you crazy? Me, gay? Are you out of your fucking mind? Don’t you know me better than that? Have I ever been unfaithful? I’m a God-fearing Christian. I could never be gay! Homosexuality is wrong. It’s a sin against God!”
June wasn’t sure if her husband’s flushing was from anger, or from perhaps her hitting too close to home. She’d never seen him behave this way before, however, no matter how angry he’d become. She didn’t want to lose her husband, but she wasn’t about to sacrifice her son’s welfare to protect something she now was starting to suspect.
“Alan, I’m not accusing you of anything. You’ve been a wonderful husband and father. You’ve been a gentle lover and I love you deeply. I don’t care what thoughts you may have in your head when you make love to me, and if you do have homosexual tendencies, but don’t act on them, that’s a sign of strength. I can only imagine the turmoil you must feel and if it’s true, I just wish you’d talked to me about it sooner, but right now, this is our son we’re talking about. If you are gay, just because you’ve managed to ‘overcome’ it doesn’t mean that our son can, too.”
“June, if you think I’m gay, then we don’t really have anything to talk about. You and your fag son can stay here, and I’ll just leave.”
June was frantic now. Maybe she’d pushed it too far, but she wasn’t about to give up. “Alan, I love you and I don’t want you to leave, but I have to ask you one more thing.” June again took a deep breath as she composed herself. From her training, she knew that most men are physically attracted to their teenage daughters, although very few actually succumb to their temptation. Although not part of her training, she reasoned that gay fathers are probably just as attracted to their teenage sons. Asking Alan about that would be taking a monumental risk — a risk she was prepared to take in the interest of trying to preserve her family. Try as she might, she saw no other way. “Please don’t hold it against me, and please be honest with yourself as much as with me. Alan, are you physically attracted to Brian?”
The look on Alan Sanders’ face was not what she had expected. It wasn’t one of anger, but of pain. Now she knew she’d pushed too far, and she’d hit the bulls eye, but she’d done what she had to do.
“Honey, what you feel for Brian is no different than what most men feel for their daughters. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t know if it’s Satan planting these thoughts in your head, but the bottom line is that you are strong and you don’t act on your impulses. You’re a good man and you have a good heart, and I will always love you, but your son needs you now more than ever. I can’t remember the last time you told him that you love him. Right now, he needs that support. Please don’t leave. I think you know and feel how much Brian needs Aaron. He needs him very, very much.”
Alan found it difficult to speak. He just sat there in tears. “God will be my salvation,” he whispered.
June felt terrible. She’d broken her husband. Deep inside she knew this was a necessary step before the healing process could begin, if it could begin. Somehow she knew everything would be alright — she had faith that they were meant to be together — herself, her husband, and their son — their gay son.
Having a gay son and a gay husband wasn’t what she’d expected in life, but she loved them both more than life itself. Her own faith had been tested that day, and it came out stronger in the end. Gone was the belief that it was up to mankind to pass God’s judgment, and in its place was a belief in the ultimate sanctity of love and family.
The next morning at the Johnson household, Aaron awoke to, “Good morning. Rise and shine!”
“Mom, what the… What time is it?”
“It’s eight o’clock.”
“Eight? Why are you waking me so early on a Sunday morning?”
“We have to be somewhere at ten, and you know how long it takes you to get ready in the morning.”
“Where are we going?
“You’ll see,” she said with a grin.
What did his parents have in mind? Aaron didn’t have a clue. He showered and dressed, and for some reason he shaved, even though he didn’t really need it. Somehow he just felt that he should. His mom fixed pancakes for breakfast as she often did on Sundays, and he wolfed them down along with juice and oatmeal.
Finally, he and Adam were in the back seat of their father’s Jetta and the four of them were on their way, but to where? It didn’t take Aaron long to realize where they were going, however, and he felt his excitement mount as they got closer to the hospital. This could mean only one thing. He was going to see Brian! He just hoped that it wasn’t to say goodbye.
Aaron froze as they approached Brian’s room and he saw Brian’s parents inside. It took all his will power to walk through the door, but his desire to see Brian overtook all of his fears. Brian had been talking to his parents at the time and when he looked to see who it was that had come to visit, his face immediately brightened and he practically shouted, “AARON!”
“Hello, Aaron,” Brian’s mom said.
Brian’s father then started to speak. “Aaron, Brian, I want you to know that I still think that your relationship is wrong. I hope and pray that you’ll someday return to Christ and accept his teachings, but I also know that’s something only you can do. I can’t make you be straight. If you ever want help, I’ll be here for you. Someday perhaps I can explain more about why I know that you can be straight if you want to be, but for now the most important thing is your recovery. More than anything, I know now that what I did in keeping you apart was wrong. I’ll never condone the two of you having sex, but I’ll never keep you apart again. You have my promise on that.” He turned to look at his son and continued, “And I’ve decided not to send you away for your rehab. You’ll be doing it nearby.”
With that, Aaron ran to Mr. Sandler and threw his arms around him, wrapping him in a viselike hug. Brian’s dad clearly was not pleased, but he took it in stride.
Then Aaron turned to face his lover. God, even in a hospital gown, he was beautiful. He now had a bit more peach fuzz on his upper lip and it made him look even more sexy. Aaron tried his best to keep things low key, but when he looked at the love of his life, he couldn’t help himself. Aaron leaned forward and began passionately kissing Brian on the lips. Brian didn’t exactly smell fresh, but Aaron didn’t care in the least.
“Boys, I’m willing to let you see each other. Making out in front of us is another matter. You’re going to have to give us some time…”
“Alan, maybe we should just leave the boys alone for a bit,” June Sandler said to her husband. He looked back at his wife and shrugged, and both sets of parents left the room and closed the door behind them.
Aaron and Brian resumed making out, but after a few minutes of this, they realized that there was another set of eyes looking at them and Brian broke the kiss. Aaron turned around to see another boy of perhaps 17 or 18 lying in the next bed.
Brian blushed a bit and then said, “Sorry Zach. I hope we didn’t freak you out or anything. Zach, this is Aaron, my boyfriend, and, yes, we’re gay.”
“’S OK with me. I mean, I’m not gay or anything… You’ve met my girlfriend, but man, when you two were kissing, you were so hot.” Zach repositioned himself in bed and it was clear that he was trying to hide an erection. The boys chuckled at his comment.
“Brian, I’ve missed you so much.”
“Me too, Aaron.”
“Brian, I’m so, so sorry. It should have been me that was injured. It shouldn’t have been you.”
“That’s absolute bullshit, Aaron. It wasn’t your fault.”
“But I walked away with nothing more than a few broken ribs. It isn’t fair!”
“What, you would rather that both of us be in wheelchairs? It was a freakish accident, Aaron. I was just unlucky. From what I understand of it, when the truck hit us, it forced me almost into your lap and out of my shoulder restraint. When we hit the telephone pole, I slammed into the steering wheel and it snapped my spine. There was nothing you could have done.
“Aaron, they tell me there’s hope, but I know they’re only trying to make me feel better. I have a complete injury. I’ll probably never walk again.”
“That’s OK, Brian. I’ve been doing some research on the Internet and I’ve been chatting with people in an SCI chat room. There are some really promising things going on out there and there definitely is hope. Maybe not right away, but someday you really may walk again.”
Suddenly Brian got very serious as he looked at Aaron. “Aaron, I don’t expect you to wait for someday. It’s not just that I’ll be in a wheelchair. Aaron, I’m not going to be able to have sex with you. I don’t have any feeling down there. None at all. I won’t be able to satisfy you the way I did before.” Tears started to stream down Brian’s face. “ You have your own life to live. You need to find someone else. Someone whose equipment is still functional.” Brian started to sob uncontrollably.
Aaron leaned down and hugged Brian tightly, nestling his head on his shoulder. “First of all, Brian, after all we’ve been through during the past week, I’m never going to leave your side. Never, ever. Whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me. As far as I’m concerned, it’s for better or for worse, man. Second of all, I love you, and I don’t mean ‘like you a lot’. I mean real love. You’re the first thing I think about in the morning when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep at night. You’re always in my thoughts, my love. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sex, but that’s just the icing on the cake.”
“I’ve watched you, Aaron. You always take the piece of cake with the most icing.”
Aaron couldn’t help but laugh. “Brian, seriously, I could live without sex, but I couldn’t live without you. I mean it. My life was meaningless before we met. I’m not letting go of you. And thirdly, we are going to have sex. Great sex!” Aaron thought he felt the temperature in the room increasing and he turned around to see that Brian’s roommate, Zach, was indeed blushing. All three boys laughed. “Brian, I told you I’ve been chatting on the Internet. I’ve met a gay quadriplegic named Steve. He’s given me some real ideas. It won’t be the same, but we’ll still have a lot of fun, and we’ll have a satisfying relationship.”
Aaron then reached down and tweaked Brian’s left nipple. Brian couldn’t believe the sensation. If anything it was even more sensitive than it was before.
“And, as Steve said, we still have our mouths.”
Aaron moved his head backwards a bit and looked directly into Brian’s beautiful eyes. He tilted his head and both boys closed their eyes and pressed their lips together, opening their mouths and sucking on each others’ tongues. The kiss went on for several minutes until Zach finally went, “Ahem.” Aaron barely broke the kiss long enough to reach back and pull the curtain separating the two beds, and then he resumed passionately kissing his boyfriend.
When they finally came up for air, Brian asked, “How can you kiss me when I have so many zits?”
Aaron pulled back a bit and looked at Brian’s face. For the first time he noticed it. There were only maybe six or seven, but he imagined how Brian must have felt since his skin was usually clear.
“Brian, don’t sweat it, man. Until you mentioned it, I didn’t notice it at all. And I’ve been reading about this. It’s from the drugs they gave you in the emergency room. It’s normal to have a few zits from that, and some people get a lot more than you have. They’ll eventually go away and, frankly, I don’t care. Would it bother you if I had zits?”
“Well, you do have a couple,” Brian teased, “but I see your point. I’d love you no matter what.”
“Me too. So… When do you start rehab?”
“They say I could be ready to go by Tuesday.”
“Wow, that soon?”
“Yeah, I guess I’m healing up OK.”
“That’s great, Brian. You a little nervous about rehab?”
“I guess. I mean, it’ll be different.”
“Brian, like I said, I’ve been reading up a lot about this. Up until now you’ve just been focusing on healing from the surgery. When rehab starts, you’re going to start to have to live with your injury. Damn right, it’ll be scary, but one thing you need to know is that I’ll be there every step of the way.”
“But it’s over an hour away.”
“I know, babe, but I’ll still be there, one way or the other, even if I have to catch a ride from… your parents,” he said with a gulp.
Brian looked at Aaron with such longing. Aaron knew exactly what Brian wanted and needed and he leaned back down and they were once again engaged in a major league kiss. After several more minutes of making out, Aaron broke the kiss and said, “You’re going to one of the best SCI rehab programs in the country. There’ll be a lot of kids like you going through the same thing at the same time, and I’ll be there with you. We’ll get through this together.”
Just then, there was a knock at the door. It swung open to reveal Detective Bronson and another sheriff’s deputy. The detective approached Aaron.
“Aaron Johnson, you are under arrest for criminal negligence in the operation of a motor vehicle, resulting in serious bodily harm.” The deputy then pulled Aaron’s hands behind his back and handcuffed him.
Aaron screamed out in pain as this put tension on his broken ribs.
The detective continued speaking to him as he was led out the door, “You have the right to remain silent…”
Brian was in shock — too much shock to even cry as he watched his love being yanked out of his life once again.
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I would like to thank WriteByMyself and David of Hope for their editing skills and invaluable suggestions, Trab for his proofreading and Captain Rick for providing incomparable advice on the legal aspects of the plot. This story can be found at Gay Authors and Awesome Dude. It was originally hosted at Nifty and at the Rainbow Community Writing Project. I am grateful to all of these sites for hosting this and my other stories. © Altimexis 2005–2024