Disclaimer: This story is a personal exploration of the challenges and triumphs experienced by gay teens with disabilities. It contains considerably more sex than is typical of my other stories, and descriptions of sexual acts are definitely a lot more graphic but, hopefully, in good taste. Although at times it may seem gratuitous, sexual content is presented with a purpose in mind and it is by no means intended to condone frequent sexual activity between minors. On the contrary, the author believes that the emotions of love, sexual energy and teenage angst are things that are better explored gradually over time and not simultaneously. Still, few of us can choose when we fall in love, and occasionally some of us are lucky to meet the “love of our life” at half the age that others do.
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Aaron sat on his bed looking pensively at his room. It was a very gloomy day outside with a mixture of heavy rain and sleet that cast a pall over the whole room. The icy late November weather merely mirrored the mood he felt inside. In all his 15 years, he’d never really doubted himself. Sure, middle school had been hell and the teasing was relentless, but he’d come through it and even felt he was somewhat popular. But he never doubted who he was. Thinking back, though, he realized that he always thought of himself as an outsider — someone who just never seemed to belong.
High school had been a real eye-opener. What worked in middle school only made him feel out of place now that he was a “real” teenager. Yeah, he was growing up and his friends were too. He could get away with making friends in middle school by acting goofy and playing along, but now things were much more serious. Sure, getting along was largely an act, but there were expectations that just didn’t sit well with Aaron. Most of his friends were dating and many had girlfriends. A few guys he knew were openly gay, and although they had to put up with a lot of teasing and even more serious abuse, most people accepted them for who they were. Aaron liked girls, but he just didn’t feel comfortable with them. His mom told him that this was normal — he was just shy — but he felt otherwise. Oh, he got excited thinking about having sex with girls, but he just didn’t think about girls much. He never really paid much attention to them. Some of his friends told him that girls thought he was cute, but he sure didn’t see what they saw in him. In ninth grade he always seemed to be surrounded by girls and only later did he realize that they were probably trying to hit on him. By the time he was a sophomore, they just seemed to have given up on him. 'Funny', he thought to himself, 'I didn’t miss all that attention until it wasn’t there.'
But the troubling thing is though he thought he liked girls, his dick kept telling him otherwise. Sometimes he found himself just staring at a really cute guy and suddenly turning away and blushing when the guy looked back at him. Aaron just didn’t feel gay. The thought of sucking someone’s dick actually seemed repulsive and he couldn’t imagine sticking his dick up someone’s ass or taking it in the ass. But, when he jacked off, he wasn’t thinking about girls. He wasn’t thinking about boys in particular either. Mostly he thought of generic nudist fantasies, but increasingly there were other boys who were also nude in his fantasies. This troubled him greatly. Let’s face it, he didn’t want to be gay, but deep inside he was coming to the conclusion that he probably was. But then, if he was gay, why didn’t the openly gay kids in school turn him on? The boys he really liked couldn’t possibly be gay — he was certain of that — and that made him very depressed.
“Honey?”
“Yeah, Mom,” he replied.
“We’re going out to a movie tonight. Would you like to go with us?”
Aaron really didn’t feel like going out. It was a cold, bleak day and it would be a cold, bleak night. He was depressed and he really didn’t want to leave his room. Besides which, teenage boys just shouldn’t be seen in public with their parents. Going to the movies with his parents would almost be an admission that he had no friends to hang out with. But what good was it to just mope in his room? And he really liked his parents — they were cool and treated him more like an adult than a kid.
“What movie are you going to?” he asked.
“War of the Worlds.”
Hmm, Tom Cruise was in that one and he really liked looking at Tom Cruise. “OK, Mom, I’ll go.”
“Dinner’s almost ready — you’d better wash up if you’re going with us.”
“OK, Mom,” he replied. He didn’t want to get up. He didn’t feel like getting up, but finally he got the willpower to move and made his way across the hall to the bathroom.
Aaron looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. What made people think he was cute? His hair was a very basic brown, and it was wavy — neither curly nor straight. Hmm, he thought with some amusement — bisexual hair. His nose seemed too narrow and long, and a little bit crooked, and his mouth was too wide for his face. And scattered around his face were a few zits — nothing major, but no matter how hard he washed and how much stuff he put on them, they were always there. He took off his shirt and looked at his body. His chest was completely devoid of hair — God, some kids in his class had thick bushes on their chest. His pecs weren’t well defined and his abdomen didn’t exactly sport a six-pack. His nipples were dark and in the chill of the cold bathroom, very firm. In fact, feeling of the cold air on his chest was making him aroused. He opened his zipper, pulled his dick out and watched it grow. Even fully erect, he was only 5 inches — nothing to write home about. It wasn’t very thick, but it was cut and at least his head was well defined.
He wrapped his hand around his member and started to stroke. As he did, he imagined that the air on his chest was cold because he was running naked through a lush green forest. The cold air felt good against his chest and his dick slapped freely on his thighs as he ran. He ran out into a clearing and the sun shone down upon his body. He came to a stream and walked into it, enjoying the feel of cold water running across his bare feet, sending shivers up and down his spine. But then he spotted another boy just a little farther downstream. The boy was beautiful — there was no other word to describe him. He was blond, smooth and young — perhaps only thirteen or fourteen. And on top of it all, he was naked! Aaron didn’t know why the boy was naked, but then it didn’t make any sense why he was naked either — this was fantasy, after all.
Aaron was afraid the boy would spot him, so he slowly made his way back into the forest, crouching down slowly as he tried not to make a sound, but he never took his eyes off the boy. The boy stood with his feet in the stream and he had his hands on his hips, thrusting his chest and pelvis forward just enjoying the feel of the sunshine on his bare skin. And he had a gorgeous light tan and his dick was hard! Aaron marveled at the beauty of his penis. It was sticking up at a 45-degree angle and throbbing with each beat of the boy’s heart, just as Aaron’s was.
Suddenly the boy turned his face toward Aaron and he smiled slyly. They didn’t make eye contact at all — it was more as if the boy was saying, ‘I know you’re out there and this show is for you.’ The boy took his right hand off his hip, grasped his dick and slowly and sensually started to stroke it. He started stroking faster and faster as Aaron watched with excitement. Suddenly the boy’s dick exploded, sending jet after jet of thick white cum out into the stream. Aaron felt his own orgasm building. His balls drew up tight and his dick pulsed, spewing thick ropes of cum into the bathroom sink before trailing off to a few dribbles. Slowly Aaron returned to reality. He rinsed his cum down the drain — he liked doing it at the sink — no muss, no fuss. Yeah, he was a bit of a neat freak, too.
He felt his chin and it was still pretty smooth. He’d only recently started shaving and was a bit disappointed there wasn’t more stubble there since his shave yesterday morning. He quickly washed his face, combed his hair and put on a clean shirt. He bounded down the stairs and practically leapt into his chair, ruffling his younger brother’s hair on the way.
“Don’t be such a dork, Aaron.”
“Takes one to know one, squirt.”
Adam was a couple years younger than Aaron, but he looked nearly as old. They were nearly the same height, both being about five-foot, ten-inches tall, and Adam was perhaps even heavier and definitely more muscular. At thirteen, he was already dating and had a close circle of friends — something Aaron desperately wished he had.
“You going to the movies, too, squirt?”
“Yeah I am, but not with you, shitface!”
“Adam!” their father said with emphasis.
“Sorry, Dad.” Adam never liked it when Aaron called him ‘squirt’. He turned back to face his brother and said, “I’m meeting up with some of my friends when we get there.”
Aaron should have known. It bothered him terribly that he didn’t have the kinds of friends he liked to hang with. He had friends, but they never seemed to invite him to anything. So he was going with his parents to the movies — a fate almost worse than death. Aaron realized that his brother made him jealous. But it wasn’t just that. His brother was so “normal.” His brother was a great athlete, he was self-assured and he wasn’t at all shy. And Aaron had to admit that his brother was hot as hell. He had beautiful, piercing green eyes that could melt your heart. Aaron loved his brother and even had to admit that he was just a little bit turned on by him. This really repulsed him — it made him feel like such a pervert — but he sometimes just couldn’t help staring at him.
Earlier that day, Adam had caught him at it. Aaron was lying on his bed reading an assignment, when Adam ran out of his own room and in to the bathroom they shared, which was directly across the hall from both of their bedrooms. Adam had whipped out his dick and started to piss without shutting the door. It was only the two of them up there, so what was the harm? But Aaron just had to look and he kept looking as Adam let his stream loose, shook his dick, zipped up his pants and turned back toward him.
“Watcha staring at, you perv?” Adam shouted at him, but then their eyes met and Adam just stared back at him and started to smile. At that moment Aaron knew that his brother knew. Adam knew that his brother liked to look at dicks, and he could have said something about it, but he didn’t, and that was even more chilling to Aaron. His brother knew his darkest secret!
“We better get going,” his dad said as he grabbed the car keys, snapping Aaron out of his melancholy. They all grabbed their winter coats and piled into their VW Jetta — his parents were such environmentalists. Aaron cared about the environment very much, but he and his brother were way too tall to sit comfortably in the back seat. Usually they each sat diagonally with their legs crossing over each other’s, but not tonight. Adam sat straight with his knees practically against his chest. When Aaron started to stretch out, Adam gave him a piercing look that said, ‘Don’t even think it, you perv.’ That really hurt Aaron deeply, even more than if he’d said it aloud.
When they got to the movies, they all scampered inside to get warm while Aaron’s dad stood in line to pay. As soon as they had their tickets, Adam ran ahead and joined up with his friends, who were already there. Aaron watched Adam join the crowd, reach out and put his arms around a girl from behind. She turned and a broad smile took over her face as Adam tilted his head and they gave each other a brief kiss on the lips. Aaron blushed and his mother said, “Isn’t that sweet?”
He just looked around aimlessly at the typical suburban multiplex with its concession stands, food court and video arcade. Something caught his eye, however, as he scanned the lobby and it made him do a double take. Perched at one of the pinball machines was a blond kid — it was difficult to make out the details under his winter coat — but he was a dead ringer for the boy in his recent jerk-off fantasy! He couldn’t help but stare. Then one of the kids in the group Adam was with called out, “Hey Brian, better give it up, man. The movie’s gonna start.” The kid at the pinball machine shrugged his shoulders, turned away and ran to catch up.
The movie itself wasn’t all that great. The special effects were cool and Tom Cruise was cute, as always, but the plot didn’t hold together very well. And Aaron’s mind was elsewhere during the whole movie. He just couldn’t stop thinking about that kid! Every time he thought about his long, blond hair and his hips seductively swaying back and forth as he played pinball, Aaron couldn’t help but get a raging hard-on. When he and his parents walked out of the theater, his brother and his friends were already out in the lobby. They’d seen a different movie and were already sitting at tables in the food court, laughing and appearing to have a good time. And the boy was there! Aaron’s mom called out, “Adam, we’re ready to go home now,” as they approached the group.
Adam turned around to face his mother and asked, “Can’t I just stay a while with my friends? Jenny’s parents’ll give me a ride home.” Of course Aaron heard none of this. As soon as his mom called out, the kid turned around to look at them. He was absolutely perfect! Truly he was the boy of Aaron’s dreams. His face was tall and thin with a perfectly proportioned nose. His skin was lightly tanned, apparently showing the last traces of what must have been a deep summer tan. His eyes were an absolutely piercing, beautiful blue, and he had a captivating smile.
Then it hit him — not only was he staring at the kid, but the kid was staring back! They both seemed to realize it at the same time as they turned their faces quickly away — too quickly. Aaron could feel his face on fire, but with his gaze averted, he didn’t see that the other kid was also blushing. He felt so embarrassed — he knew the other kids must have seen him staring. And his parents! But if they did, they didn’t say anything on the way home. His brother didn’t go with them, so he assumed he must have talked his parents into letting him get a ride with someone else.
When he got home, he just flopped onto his bed and lay there for a long time. The rain had changed over to snow, but the wind outside was still howling, sending a chill through his young body. His mind was elsewhere, however. He just couldn’t get his mind off that kid! He kept seeing his face, his gorgeous face. Those beautiful eyes. That sweet smile. Those lips that he wanted to kiss. But why would he want to kiss his lips? Maybe he really was gay, after all. No boy had ever turned him on before — at least not that way — but neither had any girl. He felt so confused, but still he felt captivated, and his dick just wouldn’t go down.
“He goes to your school, you know.”
Aaron looked up, completely startled. He hadn’t heard his brother come home. He hadn’t even heard him come up the stairs. His mind was just elsewhere, and now he finally saw his brother standing outside his bedroom door with his head peering in.
“Huh?” was all Aaron could muster.
“Brian’s a freshman at your school. We were both in band together last year.” Then Adam looked around the corner behind him, turned back to Aaron and said very quietly, “And he’s gay, too. But like you, he just doesn’t know it yet.” Adam smiled broadly and walked away.
Aaron’s jaw dropped. What was his brother saying? Was his younger brother actually trying to fix him up?
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I would like to thank Riley James, WriteByMyself and David of Hope for their editing skills and invaluable suggestions, and Trab for his proofreading. This story can be found at Gay Authors and Awesome Dude. It was originally hosted at Nifty and at the Rainbow Community Writing Project. I am grateful to all of these sites for hosting this and my other stories. © Altimexis 2005–2024