Aaron sat pensively on his bed, not really seeing the contents of his room. It was a very gloomy day outside with a mixture of heavy rain and sleet that cast a pall over everything. The icy late November weather merely mirrored his mood. In all his 15 years, he’d never really doubted himself. Sure, middle school had been hell but he’d heard it was that way for everyone. In the end he’d come through it and even felt he was somewhat popular. But he never before doubted who he was. Thinking back, though, he realize he always thought of himself as an outsider - someone who just never seemed to belong.
High school had been a real eye-opener. What worked in middle school only made him feel out of place in his mid-teens. Yeah, he was growing up and his friends were too. He could get away with making friends in middle school by acting goofy and pretending to be one of the crowd, but now things were much more serious. Sure, life itself was all about acting a part, but there were expectations that just didn’t sit well with Aaron. Most of his friends were dating now and many of them even had girlfriends. He knew of a few guys that were openly gay and some that were suspected of being gay, but this was 2017 and even here in the Midwest, although they had to put up with some teasing, most kids accepted them for who they were.
Aaron liked girls well enough, but he just didn’t feel comfortable with them. His mom told him that this was normal - he was just shy - but he felt otherwise. Sure, he got excited thinking about having sex with girls, but he got excited just thinking of sex in general. The truth was he’d never really paid much attention to them. Some of his friends told him girls thought he was cute, but he sure didn’t see what they saw in him. As a freshman he’d always been surrounded by girls and only later did he realize they were probably trying to hit on him. By the time he was a sophomore, the seemed to have given up on him. ‘Funny’, he thought to himself, ‘I didn’t miss all that attention until it wasn’t there.’
But the troubling thing was that although he thought he liked girls, his dick kept telling him otherwise. Sometimes he found himself just staring at a really cute guy and suddenly turning away and blushing when the guy looked back at him. Aaron just didn’t feel gay. The thought of sucking some guy’s dick actually seemed repulsive and he couldn’t imagine sticking his dick up some guy’s ass or taking it in the ass. But, when he jacked off, he wasn’t thinking about girls. He wasn’t thinking about boys in particular either. Mostly he thought of generic nudist fantasies, but increasingly there were other boys who were also nude in his fantasies. This troubled him greatly. Aaron didn’t want to be gay, but deep inside he was coming to the conclusion that he probably was. But if he was gay, why didn’t the openly gay kids in school turn him on? The boys he really liked couldn’t possibly be gay - he was certain of that - and that made him very depressed.
“Honey?”
“Yeah, Mom,” he replied.
“We’re going out to a movie tonight. Would you like to go with us?”
Aaron didn’t feel much like going out, and certainly not with his parents. It was a cold, bleak day and it would be a cold, bleak night. He was depressed and he really didn’t want to leave his room. But even if it had been warm and dry out, teenage boys just shouldn’t be seen in public with their parents no matter what. Going with them to the movies was almost an admission that he had no friends to hang with.
But what good was it to just mope in his room? And he really liked his parents - they were cool and treated him more like an adult than a kid.
“What movie are you going to?” he asked.
“American Made.”
Hmm, Tom Cruise was in that one and he really liked Tom Cruise. Besides, it was supposed to be a pretty good movie. “OK, Mom, I’ll go.”
“Dinner’s almost ready - you’d better wash up if you’re going with us.”
“OK, Mom,” he replied. He didn’t want to get up. He didn’t feel like getting up, but finally he got the willpower to move and made his way across the hall to the bathroom.
Aaron looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. What made people think he was cute? His hair was a very basic brown, and it was wavy - neither curly nor straight. Hmm, he thought with some amusement - bisexual hair. His nose seemed too narrow and long, and a little bit crooked, and his mouth was too wide for his face. And scattered around his face were a few zits - nothing major, but no matter how hard he washed and how much stuff he put on them, they were always there. He took off his shirt and looked at his body. His chest was completely devoid of hair - God, some kids in his class had thick bushes on their chest. His pecs weren’t well defined and his abdomen didn’t exactly sport a six-pack. His nipples were dark and in the chill of the cold bathroom, very firm. In fact, feeling of the cold air on his chest was making him aroused. Everything seemed to make him aroused these days. He opened his zipper, pulled his dick out and watched it grow. Even fully erect, he was only 5 inches - nothing to write home about. It wasn’t very thick, but it was cut and at least his head was well defined.
He wrapped his hand around his member and started to stroke. As he did, he imagined that the air on his chest was cold because he was running naked through a lush green forest. The cold air felt good against his chest and his dick slapped freely on his thighs as he ran. He ran out into a clearing and the sun shone down upon his body. He came to a stream and walked into it, enjoying the feel of cold water running across his bare feet, sending shivers up and down his spine. But then he spotted another boy just a little farther downstream. The boy was beautiful - there was no other word to describe him. He was blond, smooth and young - perhaps only thirteen or fourteen. And on top of it all, he was naked! Aaron didn’t know why the boy was naked, but then it didn’t make any sense why he was naked either - this was a fantasy, after all.
Aaron was afraid the boy would spot him, so he slowly made his way back into the forest, crouching down slowly as he tried not to make a sound, but he never took his eyes off the boy. The boy stood with his feet in the stream and he had his hands on his hips, thrusting his chest and pelvis forward just enjoying the feel of the sunshine on his bare skin. And he had a gorgeous light tan and his dick was hard! Aaron marveled at the beauty of his penis. It was sticking up at a 45-degree angle and throbbing with each beat of the boy’s heart, just as Aaron’s was.
Suddenly the boy turned his face toward Aaron and he smiled slyly. They didn’t make eye contact at all - it was more as if the boy was saying, ‘I know you’re out there and this show is for you.’ The boy took his right hand off his hip, grasped his dick and slowly and sensually started to stroke it. He started stroking faster and faster as Aaron watched with excitement. Suddenly the boy’s dick exploded, sending jet after jet of thick white cum out into the stream. Aaron felt his own orgasm building. His balls drew up tight and his dick pulsed, spewing thick ropes of cum into the bathroom sink before trailing off to a few dribbles. Slowly Aaron returned to reality. He rinsed his cum down the drain - he liked doing it at the sink - no muss, no fuss. Yeah, he was a bit of a neat freak, too.
He felt his chin and it was still pretty smooth. He’d only recently started shaving and was a bit disappointed there wasn’t more stubble there since his shave yesterday morning. He quickly washed his face, combed his hair and put on a clean shirt. He bounded down the stairs and practically leapt into his chair, ruffling his younger brother’s hair on the way.
“Don’t be such a dork, Aaron.”
“Takes one to know one, squirt.”
Adam was a couple years younger than Aaron, but he looked nearly as old. They were nearly the same height, both being about five-foot, ten-inches tall, and Adam was perhaps even heavier and definitely more muscular. At thirteen, he was already dating and had a close circle of friends - something Aaron desperately wished he had.
“You going to the movies, too, squirt?”
“Yeah I am, but not with you, shitface!”
“Adam!” their father said with emphasis.
“Sorry, Dad.” Adam never liked it when Aaron called him ‘squirt’. He turned back to face his brother and said, “I’m meeting up with some of my friends when we get there.”
Aaron should have known. It bothered him terribly that he didn’t have the kinds of friends he liked to hang with. He had friends, but they never seemed to invite him to anything. So he was going with his parents to the movies - a fate almost worse than death. Aaron realized that his brother made him jealous. But it wasn’t just that. His brother was so “normal.” His brother was a great athlete, he was self-assured and he wasn’t at all shy. And Aaron had to admit that his brother was hot as hell. He had beautiful, piercing green eyes that could melt your heart. Aaron loved his brother and even had to admit that he was just a little bit turned on by him. This really repulsed him - it made him feel like such a pervert - but he sometimes just couldn’t help staring at him.
Earlier that day, Adam had caught him at it. Aaron was lying on his bed reading an assignment, when Adam ran out of his own room and in to the bathroom they shared, which was directly across the hall from both of their bedrooms. Adam had whipped out his dick and started to piss without bothering to shut the door. It was only the two of them up there, so what was the harm? But Aaron just had to look and he kept looking as Adam let his stream loose, shook his dick, zipped up his pants and turned back toward him.
“Watcha staring at, you perv?” Adam shouted at him, but then their eyes met and Adam just stared back at him and started to smile. At that moment Aaron knew that his brother knew. Adam knew that his brother liked to look at dicks, and he could have said something about it, but he didn’t. Somehow that was even more chilling to Aaron than if he’d said something. His brother knew his darkest secret! A secret he’d been keeping, even from himself.
“We better get going,” his dad said as he grabbed the car keys, snapping Aaron out of his melancholy. When they got to the movies, they all scampered inside to get warm while Aaron’s dad stood in line to pay. As soon as they had their tickets, Adam ran ahead and joined up with his friends, who were already there. Aaron watched Adam join the crowd, reach out and put his arms around a girl from behind. She turned and a broad smile took over her face as Adam tilted his head and they gave each other a brief kiss on the lips. Aaron blushed and his mother said, “Isn’t that sweet?”
He just looked around aimlessly at the typical suburban multiplex with its concession stands, food court and video arcade. Something caught his eye, however, as he scanned the lobby and it made him do a double take. Perched at one of the pinball machines was a blond kid - it was difficult to make out the details under his winter coat - but he was drop dead georgous. Aaron had never really thought about what kind of boy he liked any more than he had thought about what he liked in a girl, but if his jerk-off fantasies were any kind of guide, this boy was exactly what he liked. Indeed, he was a dead ringer for the boy in his recent jerk-off fantasy! Aaron couldn’t help but stare. Then one of the kids in the group Adam was with called out, “Hey Brian, better give it up, man. The movie’s gonna start.” The kid at the pinball machine shrugged his shoulders, turned away and ran to catch up.
From what his parent’s said, the movie had been excellent. Of course the events of the Iran Contra scandall had occurred long before Aaron was born but, according to his folks, the parallels to what was going on today were downright scary. Regan was supposed to have been a great president, yet he’d sold arms to our enemey, all in the name of funding a clandestine war we’d helped create in the first place. Aaron’s parents couldn’t seem to stop talking about the movie, but Aaron had pretty much missed the whole thing. He just couldn’t stop thinking about that kid!
Every time he thought about his long, blond hair and his hips seductively swaying back and forth as he played pinball, Aaron couldn’t help but get a raging hard-on. He had to get to know the boy. He just had to, but the thought of actually speaking to him had Aaron scared out of his fucking mind. When he and his parents walked out of the theater, his brother and his friends were already out in the lobby. They’d seen a different movie and were already sitting at tables in the food court, laughing and appearing to have a good time. And the boy was there! Aaron’s mom called out, “Adam, we’re ready to go home now,” as they approached the group.
Adam turned to face his mother and asked, “Can’t I just stay a while with my friends? Jenny’s parents’ll give me a ride home.” Of course Aaron heard none of this. As soon as his mom called out, the kid turned around to look at them. He was absolutely perfect! Aaron had never been drawn so strongly to anyone before - girl… or boy - but this was clearly the boy of Aaron’s dreams. His face was tall and thin with a perfectly proportioned nose. His skin was lightly tanned, apparently showing the last traces of what must have been a deep summer tan. His eyes were an amazingly piercing, deep blue, and he had a captivating smile.
Then it hit him - not only was he staring at the kid, but the kid was staring back! They both seemed to realize it at the same time as they turned their faces quickly away - too quickly. Aaron could feel his face on fire, but with his gaze averted, he couldn’t see that the other kid was also blushing. He felt so embarrassed - he knew the other kids must have seen him staring. And his parents! But if they did, they didn’t say anything on the way home. His brother didn’t go with them, so he assumed he must have talked his parents into letting him get a ride with someone else.
When he got home, he just flopped onto his bed and lay there for a long time. The rain had changed over to snow, but the wind outside was still howling, sending a chill through his young body. His mind was elsewhere, however. He just couldn’t get his mind off that kid! He kept seeing his stunning face… those beautiful eyes… that sweet smile… those lips that he so wanted to kiss. But why would he want to kiss his lips? Maybe he really was gay after all. No boy had ever turned him on before - at least not that way - but neither had any girl. He felt so confused, but still he felt captivated, and his dick just wouldn’t go down.
“He goes to your school, you know.”
Aaron looked up, completely startled. He hadn’t heard his brother come home. He hadn’t even heard him come up the stairs. His mind was just elsewhere, and now he finally saw his brother standing outside his bedroom door with his head peering in.
“Huh?” was all Aaron could muster.
“Brian’s a freshman at your school. We were both in band together last year.” Then Adam looked around the corner behind him, turned back to Aaron and said very quietly, “And he’s gay, too. But like you, he just doesn’t know it yet.” Adam smiled broadly and walked away.
Aaron’s jaw dropped. What was his brother saying? Was his younger brother actually trying to fix him up?
Disclaimer: This story is a personal exploration of the challenges and triumphs experienced by gay teens with disabilities. Some of the descriptions of sex may be graphic but, hopefully, in good taste. Although at times it may seem gratuitous, all such content is presented with purpose and is not meant to condone sex between minors. This story is under copyright. It is purely a work of fiction and any resemblance of characters to real people is coincidental. In most areas, one needs to be at least eighteen to read it and in some areas it may be illegal to read stories involving sex between minors, no matter how well intentioned they may be.
Please be sure to e-mail me your comments. I would like to thank Riley James, WriteByMyself and David of Hope for their editing skills and invaluable suggestions, and Trab for his proofreading the original version of Love in a Chair, which can be found at Gay Authors and Awesome Dude. It was originally hosted at Nifty and at the Rainbow Community Writing Project. I am greatful David of Hope for editing this updated version, and to all of these sites for hosting my stories.