One Saturday I took Teddy to spend the night in Lancaster with Jamie. Derek and I were to pick him up in the morning for church. After chores and supper, Derek and I were sitting at the kitchen table playing chess. Derek had become quite a good player. I could usually beat him, but he was very patient and sometimes saw something that I didn’t.
As we played he said, “I really wish I was working with Garrett.”
“I know.” I replied. “But it’s just not going to happen.”
He thought briefly before asking, “Greg, did Josh and Garrett have sex together? Is that why you were so angry with them?”
“Yes,” I replied, “and it was a terrible mistake. Derek, I don’t believe that sex should ever be casual, especially after you’ve committed to somebody.”
“But wasn’t what you and Josh did pretty casual at first?”
I laughed. “You got me. Yes, it was, and that’s why I added the part about being committed. You’re growing up, Derek, and you need to realize what a powerful force sex is. Promise me you’ll always be careful with it.”
“I promise,” he said, smiling.
Returning my attention to the chess board, I was about to make my move when the phone rang and Derek got up to answer it.
“It’s Josh,” he mouthed.
“No!” I mouthed back.
Derek listened for a minute and then said with alarm, “Teddy’s been hurt.”
“Oh God!” I sprang up and grabbed the phone from Derek. “What happened? Is he OK?”
“He was beaten up by three older kids. Somehow, he made it to my house and I called the cops. The ambulance has taken him to the hospital in Berlin.”
“How bad is it? Who were the boys? Is he gonna be all right?” Questions poured out of my mouth, propelled by anger and fear.
“I don’t know much. I know he’s got a bloody lip and probably a broken nose, and his arm’s badly broken, but he may have other injuries I couldn’t see. You go ahead. I’ll meet you at the hospital.”
I slammed down the phone, grabbed Derek, and headed for the door. As we drove I told Derek what Josh had said. There wasn’t much traffic and we made good time.
Entering the ER I asked for Teddy. The nurse said the doctors were with him and they’d talk to us when they knew more.
Derek and I sat down in the waiting room… And then Josh entered. Briefly I wondered what I should do before I stood as he came over. He reached out to hug me but then pulled back.
Instinctively I really wanted him to hug me; I wanted his comfort. But I held back, too. I just wasn’t prepared to cross that line. Officer Metzler from Lancaster came through the door from the patients’ area, saw us, and joined us.
“He’s going to be OK,” the officer said. “He’s banged up and he hurts but I think they have everything under control. He really wasn’t able to tell me much although he said the leader had a blonde crew cut and a scar like a Nike swoosh on his cheek.”
All three of us said in unison, “Cory.”
“Tell me what you know about him.”
“Well,” I began, “he’s in eleventh grade and he’s a bully. He looks at me and Josh as though we’re scum.”
“I think he’s very homophobic,” put in Josh.
The officer nodded before saying, “I’m not going to do anything until I get a more complete statement from Teddy, but I will say that I do know Cory. Give me a call as soon as Teddy’s home and can talk.” I agreed and he left.
Officer Metzler was on the small force in Lancaster which covered all the farm country around. “He’s a good man, Greg,” Josh said. “He’ll see that those bastards get what they deserve.”
“I’d like to take them on myself,” I said.
“Don’t even think about it. First, there are at least three of them, and second, it’s a matter for the law. Taking them on would just muddy the waters and get you in trouble as well. You just take care of Teddy.”
“I thought I was,” I said sadly. “I thought he was safe with Jamie.” Then I realized! “Oh gosh, what happened to Jamie?”
“I don’t know,” replied Josh. “I didn’t see him at all.”
There was a phone in the waiting room for patients and families to use so I called Jamie’s home. His father answered. When I told him who I was his first question was, “Where’s Teddy?”
“We’re with him in the hospital in Berlin. Where’s Jamie?”
“He’s home and OK, but he was sobbing so that he couldn’t tell us what happened until just now. I was about to go out looking for Teddy. Is he OK?”
“We haven’t seen him yet. Somehow he managed to get to Josh’s house and Josh called the police. All we know now is that he was beaten up by three older boys.”
“Jamie said there were five, but he was so scared he turned and ran, so I wouldn’t put much faith in what he said. I’m sorry Jamie ran. I think we’ll have to talk about that with him. I’m sure he feels very guilty. Would you call us and tell us when you know more?”
“Of course. And I’m not sorry Jamie ran. If he hadn’t there’d now be two boys in the hospital. There was nothing he could have done.” I hung up and went back to sit with Derek and Josh.
When the doctor came out he asked, “Who here is responsible for Teddy?”
“I am,” I said, and at his invitation, followed the doctor through the door. When I went into Teddy’s cubicle his eyes tried to smile at me even though his mouth couldn’t because he had stitches in his lip which was very swollen on one side. He looked awful. His eyes were black and blue and his nose was swollen.
“Teddy was beaten rather badly,” the doctor said. “Apparently he was hit in the head and stomach a few times. When he fell awkwardly he broke his arm. Then, for good measure, one of the boys kicked him in the side. He has three cracked ribs. I’ve taped them and there’s nothing more we can really do for them. They’ll heal on their own. His arm was broken in two places and one bone came through the skin. I’ve cleaned that as well as I could and set the bone. We have a temporary air cast on it because we’ll need to check him out in a few days for infection. As you can see, his lip was cut and now has six stitches in it. His nose was broken and he’s beginning to get a couple of really colorful shiners. But right now I’m mostly concerned about his head. When he fell he banged it on the pavement. X-rays don’t show any fractures but he does have a pretty good concussion, so I want to keep him in the hospital overnight.”
“Can I stay with him?” I asked.
“Absolutely,” he replied. “We can even put a cot in his room so you can get some sleep.”
“I doubt very much that I’ll sleep, but thank you.” Turning to my brother I said, “Teddy, I have to go and tell Josh and Derek what the plan is. Then, when they put you in your room, I’ll spend the night with you. OK?”
Teddy nodded and I left.
I walked back to the waiting room and told Josh and Derek what the verdict was. Derek asked if he could see Teddy but I said I thought he needed to wait until morning.
Josh volunteered, “I’ll take Derek to the farm and stay there with him. That way we can take care of the animals in the morning before we come back here.”
“Give him my love,” said Derek as they turned to go.
“Mine too,” Josh said softly as they left.
Before going to Teddy’s room I called Jamie’s father again and related what the doctor had said. Jamie’s dad said he was very sorry. He had always looked at Lancaster as a safe place where kids could roam without danger. Now he knew he’d have to revise his belief. I agreed and said I thought it was a shame. We agreed to stay in communication as Teddy recovered.
When I went to Teddy’s room the nurse told me that because of the concussion the doctor didn’t want him to sleep deeply, so she would be in from time to time to wake him. He had been given some pain medication and he looked a little out of it. She gave me a glass of water and a straw for him, encouraging him to drink a little so he didn’t get dehydrated.
When the nurse left Teddy look up at me and said softly, “I’m thowy.”
“Don’t try to talk, Teddy. And you have nothing to be sorry about. I want to know everything that happened but that can wait until you can talk better. OK?”
He nodded.
I told him that Derek and Josh had sent their love. “Now try to get some rest.” I pulled a chair over to the bed at his left side and he reached for my hand. I took his and just held him.
It was a long night. I don’t think either one of us got any sleep. The cot went unused. As promised, from time to time the nurse came in to check on him but he was always awake though groggy. I did manage to get him to take a sip of water a few times through the uninjured side of his mouth.
Early in the morning, a new nurse came in and checked him over before an aide brought in a tray. Slowly he drank the milk. He tried the orange juice but said it stung his mouth too much. He did manage to slurp a little Jello. When the aide returned for the tray she asked if I would like anything and I asked for some black coffee. She brought not only a cup but also a carafe. The coffee didn’t take away the anxiety but it did make me feel a little more alert.
About 8:30 Josh and Derek arrived. Derek took my place holding Teddy’s hand while Josh and I went into the hall to talk. He said that he thought neither he nor Derek had slept very much. He mentioned that he had slept on the bed upstairs. When I told him he could have used my bed he looked a little uncomfortable and said he just didn’t want to do that. Our conversation was stilted, awkward, and brief. After I thanked him for taking care first of Teddy and then of Derek, we went back into Teddy’s room.
In the late morning the doctor returned. He looked at the charts closely, checked Teddy’s eyes with a flashlight, and pronounced him ready to go home. Derek had thought to bring some clean clothes for Teddy, so we helped him get dressed and I went to get the truck while the three of them waited for the wheelchair which the hospital required.
When we left, I again thanked Josh who asked Derek to keep him up to date on how Teddy was doing. I noticed that he had asked Derek, not me. I wasn’t surprised by that. After all until last night I’d hardly spoken to him since I’d told him to leave the farm.
Because of his arm Teddy had some difficulty climbing into the truck but he made it with our help. On the way home he tried to talk, but it was difficult for him because of his lip which still hurt a lot. I told him that Officer Metzler wanted to talk with him but I thought it could wait until tomorrow. Teddy said something that sounded like, “Thanth.”
At home we got him up the stairs and into bed. Derek wanted to be his nurse so I told him that was fine, but if Teddy needed to use the bathroom I needed to help him. We certainly didn’t want him falling. Finally, Teddy fell into a deep sleep. He was so deeply asleep that he wet the bed, but I told him not to worry about that. Derek washed him off and I changed the bedding.
In the morning, I told Derek he had to go to school. I asked him not to say anything about Teddy until we had talked with Officer Metzler. After he left, I called the officer and told him he could come when he was ready.
When he arrived, the officer and I went upstairs together and he pulled the desk chair over to Teddy’s bunk while I sat on my old bed. Very gently, Officer Metzler asked Teddy to tell him what happened.
Apparently, Teddy and Jamie were on the main street going to get ice cream when they encountered three older boys, one of whom grabbed Teddy and said, “So here’s the faggot’s little brother. What should we do to him?” At that point, Jamie turned and ran, but the older boys, who were focused on Teddy, didn’t notice. They dragged him down an alley between two buildings and, while two boys held his arms, the third hit him a couple of times in the face, splitting his lip and breaking his nose, sending blood spurting down his face. Then the boy hit him in the stomach, saying, “Tell that faggot brother of yours we don’t want him in the school or in the town. Tell him to get the hell out!”
At that point, Teddy vomited and the other two boys let go of him. He fell to the ground with his arm under him. He knew right away that it was broken and the bigger boys apparently heard it snap. One of the boys who had held him said, “Fuck!” and the two started to run off, but the one who had hit Teddy kicked him hard in the side a couple of times before he walked away, calling back, “Be sure to tell the faggot!”
Teddy had lain on the ground trying to figure out what to do. He called for help a couple of times but there didn’t seem to be anybody around. He had to try three times before he could stand, holding his broken arm with his other hand. Unfortunately, when he got to Main Street it was deserted, which was almost never the case. Somehow he managed make his way the four blocks to Josh’s house then kicked on the door until Josh answered.
The officer asked Teddy to describe the three boys. Except for the scar the descriptions were pretty general and Teddy did not know any of them. I told the officer again that the description of the one boy sounded very much like Cory.
The officer nodded saying, “We’ve had trouble with him before.” Then he said, “Teddy, I may need you to come to the station in a few days to identify the boys involved. Would you do that?” Teddy nodded and the officer thanked him and departed.
When I went back upstairs, Teddy said, “Gweg, I nee oo ell oo thumthin.” I nodded and he said, “Gweg, I wath tho thcared I thit mythelf.” He began to cry.
I sat on the bed, held his hand, and said, “You had every right to be scared. And you shouldn’t be embarrassed about shitting yourself. People do that when they’re really scared. Did you know that sometimes soldiers do that in combat?” He shook his head. “So,” I said, “you don’t need to worry about it at all. Only you and I know and nobody else needs to. OK?” he nodded and I said, “Now get some rest.”
When Derek returned from school he went straight upstairs. After a while I heard them laughing. Later, over supper, Derek grinned and asked, “Did Teddy tell you what he did when he was scared?” I nodded. “He was really upset about it at first but then we began thinking about poor Josh dealing with it in his car and we got to laughing. I think he’s fine with it now.”
Derek called Josh each evening to fill him in on Teddy. Meanwhile, Teddy had gotten some rest and was beginning to feel a little better. If he moved the wrong way his ribs hurt, so when he wanted to sit up or get up we helped him. Going to the bathroom was another issue. I helped him with his fly or taking down his pants depending on his needs. That embarrassed him a little, but what really embarrassed him was me wiping him. Of course he had never tried to wipe himself using the “wrong” hand. Probably few people have. It’s difficult and takes some practice. But Teddy kept trying, and eventually got it, although we did a lot of giggling along the way. Derek and I helped him get into the tub for a bath, being careful to keep his arm dry. Teddy insisted on washing most of himself, but Derek or I did the parts he couldn’t reach, which again momentarily embarrassed him but he got over that when I reminded him what I had done for Grandpa.
On Wednesday I took Teddy back to the hospital where the doctor checked his arm and said it was healing nicely and that, after the skin which had several stitches in it healed some more, they would put him in a regular cast.
That afternoon Officer Metzler called to say that Cory had confessed and that, being the coward he was, had quickly broken down and implicated the other two. Confronted with Cory’s identification the other two had also confessed, so probably Teddy wouldn’t have to ID them unless the case went to trial, which the officer didn’t think it would. The three were juveniles so it would be up to the juvenile court to decide the punishment, and the officer promised to let us know how everything turned out.
One evening, Garrett called to ask about Teddy. Derek, as usual, answered the phone and talked to him. I could hear the wistful tone in his voice. Before he hung up he gave the phone to Teddy who also talked for a few minutes and then hung up.
Derek reported that the story of the beating was now all over the school rumor mill and that kids in Teddy’s classes kept asking how he was doing. Some wanted to come out to see him but I thought that was impractical for the time being because I wouldn’t let more than a couple come at a time and that would put Teddy in the position of having to choose, so I just said no. Teddy was fine with that except that he really wanted to see Jamie, saying he wanted to talk with him. I realized the two of them needed to do that. Teddy needed to let Jamie know that he didn’t blame him for running. So I arranged for Jamie to visit on Saturday. When Jamie arrived I showed him upstairs and left the two of them alone while Jamie’s parents, Derek, and I sat at the kitchen table. Derek and I both assured the parents that Teddy didn’t blame Jamie at all for what had happened and neither did we. When Jamie came downstairs it was clear he had been crying, but he was also smiling through his tears. They all thanked me and left.
Through all of this, Derek remained steadfast, as did Charlie, who lay by Teddy’s bed except when he needed to go out. Derek did Teddy’s chores, helped him with bathing and dressing, stayed with him constantly and helped in any other way he could. By that time Teddy was able to walk to the bathroom without me so, if he needed to go in the night, Derek helped him. Derek never complained and never got upset no matter what he had to do. While he was sympathetic, he treated Teddy as though he was able to do nearly everything himself. They had always been buddies, but now they were closer than ever.
By the end of the weekend, Teddy was coming downstairs on his own although he still needed a little help with the bathroom. Except for that, he said, he was ready to go back to school. His ribs were feeling better and the swelling in his lip and nose had gone down while the bruises around his eyes were fading. “But,” he asked, “how could I go to the bathroom alone?”
I gave him an old pair of Derek’s gym shorts that had elastic in the waist and no fly, asking him if he could manage those on his own.
“I think maybe, but what about my underwear?”
“Don’t wear any,” I suggested. “Nobody will know and anyway it’s none of their business. If somebody asks why, which I don’t think they will, you just ask them if they want to help you take a shit. I’m sure they’ll get it and it won’t be a problem.” He giggled.
Teddy and I returned to the hospital again on Tuesday. The doctor was very pleased with his recovery and gave him a regular cast saying there was no reason why he couldn’t go to school when he felt up to it.
So on Wednesday I drove the boys to school. I had asked Teddy if he might do just half-days for a few days and he thought that was a good idea. I went with him to his room to talk with the teacher. She welcomed him affectionately and soon he was in a crowd of classmates retelling his story. His teacher was fine with the half-days and I asked her to call me if there were any problems.
At noon I picked up Teddy and we returned home. After lunch he decided to take a nap. I told him I was going to work in the apple orchard and that he could ring Grandpa’s bell out the upstairs window if he needed me.
We went through the same routine on Thursday and Friday, Teddy saying he thought he could return to school full time on Monday. We left it at that. I was very relieved by Teddy’s recovery. He had been brave through the pain and had never once complained. At first he was very subdued but he soon returned to being his cheerful, garrulous self.
So life on the farm returned to normal, the only difference being that Derek and I did Teddy’s farm work for him until his ribs healed and his cast came off. In return, he took over some of the cooking, even learning to crack and cook eggs with one hand, his left hand at that. In the evenings, as before, Teddy and I played chess or Parcheesi while Derek wrote. And Derek continued to call Josh. Each time when he finished he looked sad, but said nothing until finally one day he asked, “Greg, do you think Teddy and I could visit Josh again? We miss him and Teddy really needs to thank him for his help.”
I finally agreed. He was right. Teddy did need to thank Josh. I took the boys to Lancaster on a Saturday morning and dropped them off near Josh’s house. In the afternoon, Josh brought them back, dropping them at the end of the driveway in time for chores. I didn’t see Josh and the boys didn’t say anything about their visit except to ask if they could go again. I agreed, and the visits, which at first were occasional, quickly became quite regular.