Lavender

Chapter 4

We made the most of our final days off before school resumed on the Wednesday after Labor Day.

During our last baseball game, I fell awkwardly as I was chasing a ball in the outfield. Immediately, I began to scream as I lay on the ground. Parker ran over saying, “Let me see your leg.” I looked down at my leg and saw a bone sticking through the skin. I started to feel faint and I was still screaming. By then, all the players were gathered around us.

One of the boys ran to my house and soon Dad jogged up with several newspapers and adhesive tape. He rolled the newspapers around my leg to make a temporary splint and taped them closed. Meanwhile, Mom drove up in our car.

Dad helped me into the car. Parker said he would take care of my glove and anything I had left there, and then Dad, Mom, and I drove to the hospital in Hyannis.

Dad took me into the Emergency Room while Mom parked the car before following us. I was put into a wheelchair and pushed into one of the cubicles, while Mom and Dad had to wait outside. From there I was wheeled to the X-Ray department where several pictures were taken. When I was back in the cubicle, a doctor came in with the x-rays and put them up on a lighted frame on the wall. After looking for a minute, he turned to me and said, “Well, fortunately it’s a good, clean fracture.”

“What’s good about it?” I asked, half in jest.

“If the tibia hadn’t broken all the way through, we would have had to break it the rest of the way.”

“Ouch!”

“Exactly. As it is, the bone broke through the skin. First, we’ll set the bone. Then we’ll need to clean the wound, stitch it up and watch you carefully over the next few weeks to be sure there is no infection. Before you leave, we’ll give you a cast, and in a few weeks, you’ll be good as new.”

“Will it hurt when you set the bone?” I asked, not feeling very brave.

“No, we’ll give you a mild anesthetic and you won’t feel a thing.”

Soon, another doctor came in, introduced himself as the anesthesiologist, and gave me a shot. The next thing I remember was slowly waking up and being aware that my foot and lower leg were in a cast.

The anesthesiologist smiled and said, “You slept very peacefully.”

Since the plaster had dried, I asked him to sign my cast for me. After he did, an orderly came in and handed me some crutches, helped me adjust them, and wheeled me out to my parents. They were just finishing talking to the doctor who had set my leg.

Mom went to get the car while the orderly wheeled me out to the front door with Dad following behind. Then the orderly helped me into the back seat of the car and off we went.

The doctor had given my parents a prescription for my pain, so when we got back to town, Mom went into the pharmacy and got it filled while Dad and I waited in the car.

“How’s it feeling now?” Dad asked while we were waiting.

“Not too bad,” I said, “but how am I gonna get by in school? Am I gonna miss some? What will my teachers do?”

“Oh, I’m sure the teachers will cut you some slack,” he replied.

Parker must have been watching for the car, because as soon as we got home, he was at the door. I was lying on the couch, so Mom opened the door to him. Coming in, he put my ball glove and my shirt on a chair, asking if that was all I had left at the field.

I nodded and thanked him.

“Tell me what the doctor said.”

I told him all I could remember, and then asked him to sign my cast. He said he would give me any help I needed at school, then he left, giving me some time to rest.

I wasn’t very hungry at supper time, but I had some soup and crackers.

I discovered that going to the bathroom was a little awkward as I had to balance on one leg. I finally got the fly unzipped and pulled out my pecker. After I finished, I had some trouble stuffing it back into my underwear, but eventually I succeeded.

When I got ready for bed that night, Mom asked if I needed any help. I told her I didn’t think so, but I’d call if I did. Doing the zipper was a little easier the second time and I managed to get into my PJs, although Mom had to cut open the bottom of one leg so I could get my cast through it.

I slept on the couch that night, so I didn’t jerk off, but I quickly fell asleep.

School began the next day. My parents had suggested that I might stay home for a day or two, but I was determined not to miss the first day. My dad drove me to school. I thanked him and told him that I’d call if things got too tiring but that otherwise I’d take the bus home.

Parker met me inside the front door and carried my backpack as we walked to our lockers. It being the first day back, I had some difficulty remembering the combination to my locker. I knew I had written it in my notebook, so Parker fished the notebook out of my backpack. After he reminded me of the combination, I had trouble managing the lock as I was balancing on one foot. Parker offered to help, but I really wanted to do it on my own, because Parker might not always be around when I needed to open my locker. Finally I got it open. Then Parker and I, with me swinging along on my crutches, made our way to my homeroom, which was right next to his, and he said he’d come and get me at the end of the class.

PE was the most boring part of the day. I just sat and watched. I didn’t even go into the locker room and of course I didn’t take a shower, so I didn’t have a chance to check out how my friends had grown in certain departments over the summer.

At the end of the day, Parker and I rode the bus and then walked to my house, where we helped each other with our homework.

In the late summer, Parker had gotten his driver’s license, and, as a result, he was able to go on a few dates with girls. Of course, in our small town there weren’t a lot of places he could take a date. They went to the ice cream parlor, and they went for burgers and fries to the McDonald’s which had just opened in our town. If they went in the evening, they eventually wound up necking at the skating pond.

I was despondent about his dates. Whenever I asked him how they went, he just replied, “They were okay.”

When I was cleared to take PE I was delighted, although I didn’t really enjoy the games that much. I did, however, enjoy the sights in the locker room and showers. We had a couple of new boys, one of whom was really well-developed and looked promising. Sadly, I soon found out that he was very straight and already had a girlfriend.

I figured from the statistics Kinsey had given that there had to be a few more queer boys in the school, but I couldn’t think of a way to find them.

At Thanksgiving, my brothers came home but my sister did not, assuring us that she would come for Christmas. When I greeted William, he asked how I was doing.

“Okay, but I’m frustrated.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t find anyone else like me. I’m sure there must be a few but I have no idea how to make contact.”

“I’m sorry. Boys like you stay pretty well hidden. But you’ll find someone eventually.”

“I guess, but ‘eventually’ doesn’t seem to help much.”

He thought for a moment before he said, “I’ve told you that I have a queer friend, haven’t I?” I nodded. “Would you like to meet him, not as a boyfriend because he already has one, but as someone to talk to?”

“I think I’d like that.” So William called his friend Todd, who said that he’d drive out on Saturday and stay until Sunday. My parents agreed to the arrangement, saying that Todd could have our sister’s room for the night.

Thanksgiving was a happy family time. As always, we ate too much, but we laughed and talked, and it was good to have my brothers home.

Saturday afternoon, Todd arrived. He was a good-looking older teen, nearly six feet tall, with floppy blond hair and a cute smile. Of course, I immediately formed a crush on him, although I knew it was doomed from the start.

After greeting him, the rest of my family vacated the kitchen so Todd and I could talk. He asked me about my experiences first, how I knew that I was queer, how I felt about the other boys at school, and whether I had any special friends.

I told him about Parker, but assured him that Parker was straight.

“Can I meet him?” Todd asked.

I told my parents that we were going to Parker’s house for a few minutes but would be back in time for supper, which would be leftovers.

As we walked, Todd said, “By the way, you might like to know that queer men like me are beginning to use the term ‘gay’ to describe ourselves. Of course, the press hasn’t caught on to that yet, and certainly the government hasn’t, but we do use it among ourselves.”

I liked the term. It was neither as clinical as “homosexual” nor as judgmental as “queer” or “faggot”, so I decided I would adopt it and use it when I could.

At Parker’s house I knocked on the door, and when he came out, I introduced him to Todd as being William’s friend. Parker looked a little curious for a moment, perhaps wondering why I had brought Todd over, but he shook Todd’s hand and invited us both in.

Parker’s grandparents were in the living room, so, after saying hello to them and introducing Todd, we went to Parker’s room and sat talking for a while. “Why are you here?” Parker asked. I told him that Todd had asked who my friends were, so I wanted him to meet my best friend. We just chatted for a while and then said goodbye.

As Todd and I walked back to my house, he laughed and said, “That boy is queer.”

“But he’s not,” I insisted.

“How do you know?”

“He told me so.” Todd laughed and asked, “Have you told him that you’re queer?”

“Well, no, but that’s different.”

“How?”

I thought for a minute and then realized it wasn’t different at all. I was hiding and, if Parker was queer, he was hiding too.

“So what should I do?”

“Well, the first thing you should do is tell him about yourself. You can swear him to secrecy if you want, but maybe he’ll come out to you. If he doesn’t at first, give him some time.

I told him I’d think hard about it and he made me promise to let William know of any developments.

When Todd and William left on Sunday, I gave them each a hug and thanked them.

The next Wednesday morning, very early, Dad came into my room and woke me. “Get up and put some clothes on. The Johnstons’ house is on fire.”

I shot out of bed, pulled on some pants, and joined my parents racing over to the Johnstons’, hoping that everyone was safe. By the time we got there, the fire department was there, and the house was completely engulfed in flames. Frantically I searched for Parker and his grandparents.

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