Chapter 22

"Phil," my best friend from Quaker Hills High School, Alex Harper, excitedly shouted into my ear.

Elijah was sitting next to me, and leaned in to eavesdrop when he saw me smiling.

“Alex. Whoa, what’s up?” I asked wondering what was making his voice so animated.

"I'm getting married!” he gushed.

“What?”

“The Saturday before Memorial Day weekend. I’m tying the knot, Phil. …and I want you to be my best man."

"You're in Massachusetts?" I asked without thinking. I had met Alex on the first day of my junior year of high school and it hadn't taken me twenty-fours before I was reasonably certain he was gay.

"What? I'm in California, Doofus. University of Southern California, remember? Why would I be in Massachusetts?"

"Since when is it legal to get married in California?" I asked, thinking I had missed some news."

"What are you talking about? It's legal to get married in any state."

There was a pregnant pause as we both suddenly figured out what was happening.

"Phil, I'm marrying a woman. Her name’s Beth Ann Caruthers."

"You’re kidding," I blurted out, again without thinking what I was saying. “You used to loathe the female species. Are you sure?” My brain must have been totally disengaged. …or maybe it was that I was sitting next to someone who I had begun to contemplate calling my boyfriend, with all the implications of what that meant, but before giving thought, I found myself asking,” …I mean what about ...you know. What if you can't… Are you sure about this?"

"Phil, if you’re worried about that, you can relax. Beth Ann’s pregnant. We’re going to be parents by the end of August."

After a long pause, Alex asked if I was still there.

"What?" I asked in astonishment. “You’re gonna be a father?”

"Yeah, we’re gonna have a baby, so I figure if I can do it once I can do it again."

“She’s pregnant?” I asked again. “Are you sure it was you?”

I noticed Elijah looked like he was about to say something, but after all Alex and I had been through together, and after hearing him tell me that his own conversion to Christianity had altered the path of his life, I wasn’t ready to explain to him about the new direction my own life seemed to be taking.

"Wow. Congratulations, guy. I have to say I'm really surprised."

“You and Ed are the ones who told me; ‘as the mind thinks, so follows the person’s actions.’ …or something like that. After you led me to the Lord, Phil, God really changed me, and before I knew what was happening, he sent Beth Ann into my life, and we fell in love.”

“You don’t even think about guys anymore?” I asked, feeling both a twinge of guilt and a pang of jealousy.

“I wouldn’t exactly say that, but I feel so alive and happy when I’m with her. I know we’ll be able to make it work.”

My voice sounded less than convincing to my own ears, as I assured him with a scripture verse I had often quoted to myself when I found myself lusting over another guy. “God can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, Alex.”

"I know, Isn’t He amazing?”

“…and full of surprises too,” I told him, although I was thinking more about the surprise I might have for him one day, than I was about his announcement to me.

“So, is it a yes or a no on being in my wedding?"

"Are you kidding, Alex. How could I possibly say no?"

“Great! Beth Ann and I are making out an invitation list.”

I almost choked when he asked me if there was anyone special in my life that I wanted him to include on my invitation.

Alex must have heard me choke, too, or at least sensed my hesitation, because he immediately asked who she was.

“Who, who is?” I stumbled.

“I’ll bet your ears are red.” God, does everyone know about my ears? “The significant other in your life; what’s her name?”

I turned away from Elijah again, hoping he wouldn't hear my response.

"Why don't you just add, 'and friend,' to my invitation."

In his excitement, Alex just wouldn't let it go and pressed "What? She doesn’t have a name?"

"Ellie," I finally blurted. "But just write 'and friend, okay?"

I could tell the wheels were still turning in Alex' head, and I just didn’t want to tell him about the turn in my life, before I was actually sure there was a turn.

“Alex, hey, I’m in the middle of watching a movie with a friend. I’ve got to go. I’ll call you sometime soon to get all the details.”

“Phil? …just one more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“I never thought something like this could possibly happen to me. Thanks for believing in me, and telling me about God. It feels so good knowing that I’m pleasing him. …well mostly anyway. I guess he would have preferred that Beth Ann wasn’t pregnant yet.”

“I gotta run, Alex.” With that, I hung up.

"Ellie?" Elijah laughed. "Her name? What was that all about? "

“It’s kind of a long story.”

“We’ve got all night.”

I sighed, and began recounting the story of how Alex and I had become friends, and how I quickly learned that he was gay. Elijah laughed, when I told him how I had inadvertently witnessed Alex standing in his parent’s bedroom, doing a certain something while voyeuristically watching his neighbor and his neighbor’s girlfriend, through the windows.

“He kept tripping himself up when he was trying to explain why he was doing it. He kept saying stuff like he was watching Jason, that’s the guy’s name, and how he’d often check him out like that. Then after he ate supper at my house, every time I’d look up from my school book, he was sitting there checking me out.”

“Oh my gosh, Phillip, that must have been so embarrassing.”

“It was. But after I figured it out, I really kept my guard up. …except for once.”

Elijah looked on with interest.

“He was really feeling bad about everything at the time. His first boyfriend, if you could call him that – who was also the guy I had messed around with when I ran away from home, took what he wanted from Alex, and then dumped him. …no, it was more like, ‘body slammed him into the ground.’ Anyway, he got really messed up at a party and ended up in the hospital. The next day he told his mom he was gay, and she went nutzo. He lived with my family for three weeks while his parents went to marriage counseling, and one day he was feeling down, so I tried to tell him about how important it was to be touched by another person.”

“You told him?”

“Well… that’s kind of where I made my mistake, because I hugged him for a really long time until he kind of calmed down. That’s when he kissed me. I was like in total shock until he tried to really kiss me.

“He totally respected me after I explained to him that I wasn’t going to allow anything like that to happen to me ever again. …I mean doing gay stuff with guys. Even after he met Eddie Herrera, he used to shield me from Eddie’s advances. That guy was a total horn dog. In the end, it’s what caused them to break up. Alex wanted a partner, but Eddie just wanted to have a good time with anyone he could.

“I moved the summer before our senior year, and didn’t get to see Alex much, but I know he had another boyfriend. They even lived together on the guy’s dad’s farm. Then he went to college and his boyfriend split with him. That year, he spent the winter holiday break with my family, and I shared the gospel with him. I was so surprised when he gave his life to God that first night home during winter break. You could see he was a totally different person after that, but he told me the next year that he still caved in to his desires for male affection once in a while.

“I guess I feel really confused about you and me again. Like if God changed Alex to where he’s marrying a girl, then maybe Shelly really should be the one for me. …or maybe I just need to hold out, and trust that someday, God will bring the right girl into my life.”

“Or the right guy, Phillip. When are you going to accept that maybe God brings two people together to be special to each other, and that He isn’t hung up over their gender?”

“Maybe never,” I honestly answered him; my mind feeling like it was nothing but a ball of fuzzy yarn. “…maybe never.”

Elijah started the movie and snuggled up close, wrapping his arms around my flaccid body, and pulling me in. I felt his lips nuzzle to my cheek, but then pull away. My heart was overwhelmed at the moment, thinking about how wonderful it would be to have a life partner who was so sensitive to my every need.

We must have both fallen asleep during the movie, because the next thing I knew, we were startled awake by the noise that accompanies two obviously drunk teenagers entering a room. I squinted to see that it was Sarah and Mordecai, then felt my ears turning red as I watched them pawing at each other and disappearing into the bedroom.

Elijah went over and turned the lights off again, then offered his hands to lift me from the sofa. I almost broke my own rule as our lips came within inches of each other’s before we both looked away. I lie on my bed a few moments and wondered if Elijah’s ears ever turned red. Maybe one little kiss wouldn’t hurt anything, I thought to myself. I’d have to get him to pull his hair back into a pony tail first though, so I could see his ears.

Elijah walked, half asleep, into the kitchen the next morning. “I read in my bible this morning that God’s people should greet another person with a holy kiss.” He looked uncomprehendingly at me as I approached him, and hastily greeted him with a quick but firm kiss to the lips. “It makes sense to me now,” I told him as I watched the bleary eyed mask which had been covering his face twist into that patented ear to ear grin.

“You should pull your hair back into a ponytail,” I told him.

“Like this?” he asked as he held his hair behind his head.

“Something like that,” I answered, disappointed that the top of his ears remained hidden from my view. “Ready to start the day?”

What I had done must have just sunk into his hazy mind. “Did you just do what I think you did?”

“They say rules are made to be broken.”

“Okay,” he said, his voice becoming more animated. “I’ve get a new rule for us. When you greet me next time, no prying my lips apart with your tongue.”

“You,” I emphasized, “are one sick puppy. I’m not agreeing to any rules you make up before you even drink a full cup of coffee,” I told him as I handed him the mug I had just filled. But I did give him another quick kiss as I allowed myself, for maybe the first time, to imagine what it might be like for us if what Pastor Wallace had told me really was true.