Chapter 14

“Va-voom” I giggled as Michelle strutted out of her apartment modeling her new tennis gear.

She smiled, twirled once, and slid into my arms.

“You like?”

“Are you wearing it? What’s not to like.”

“You’re sweet, Carrots.” Her lips were soft, and when I felt her tongue brush my lips I remembered to get my tongue into action. She giggled instead of saying that “m-m-m-m” thing.

“You are such a pansy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re a pansy. A sweet pansy.”

It was on the plane ride to meet her parents that I had broached the idea with Shelly.

“Shelly, you should learn to play tennis. That would be one more thing we could do together.”

“Aren’t you afraid of a girl showing you up?”

“In your dreams.”

“You’re on, Mr. Macho Man.”

When we returned to school and went to set up our lessons, I was disappointed to find out the only instructor available to me for the time slot Shelly had taken was… You guessed it – Elijah Cohen.

At first, I considered taking a different course for my PE credits, but the more I considered it, the more I thought that taking lessons from Elijah might actually work to my benefit. If Shelly could see my interaction with him on the court, she would observe first hand exactly how disinterested I was in the guy she thought was in competition with her for my affection.

“So,” I asked her as we made our way into the athletic building, “who’s your instructor?”

“Her name’s Rebecca Jameson. That’s who Lisa had last year. Lisa really liked her. Who’d you get?”

“Some punk named Elijah Cohen,” I casually told her.

Her eyebrows made an arc at the top of her face. “This should be interesting.”

“He was the only choice I had for the time slot you picked.”

“Did you say ‘hunk’?”

“No-o-o, I said punk,” with a bit of an edge in my voice.

“This should be ver-ry interesting.”

“You must be Michelle,” a tall dark girl, with a long ponytail, said as she greeted Shelly. “Have you ever played before?”

“No, I’m just taking lessons so I can keep my eye on my boyfriend.”

They both glanced at me and giggled.

“Well then, I’d better start with the basics” she announced in a loud enough voice for me to overhear. “This is a tennis racket,” she said holding up the obvious. “And this is the attention getter,” she said as she tossed the ball up and took a vicious swat, sending the ball crashing against the far wall.

Shelly wriggled her brow at me and said “I think I’m going to like this sport.”

By the time Shelly and Rebecca were getting situated, Elijah had made his way over to where I was standing and sheepishly greeted me. He definitely seemed as nervous about this as I was.

“Let’s just volley for a while so I can see where you are, and then we’ll go from there,” Elijah told me as he turned and walked to his side of the court.

“Incoming,” I hollered as Shelly’s first ball headed straight for Elijah’s head. He turned just in time to pick up the ball mid-flight, and swat it back to Shelly. We both chuckled.

 “Shut up Phillip,” she shouted.

“Hey,” I yelled back, “we all have to start somewhere.”

She stuck her tongue out at me, and then returned her attention to Rebecca’s instruction. I just laughed.

“That’s a good start, Michelle. Now just keep watching the ball all the way into your racket and remember to keep your wrist locked – use two hands,” Rebecca explained. I was so glad Shelly had the kind of instructor who would patiently instruct her instead of harp on her about what she was doing wrong. …and I was impressed with how quickly Shelly soon began to return the ball over the net.

“Okay,” Elijah said jumping the net. “I can see we’ve regressed a bit.”

I could have kicked myself for not concentrating on what I had learned last semester, because before I knew what was happening, he had his moist scratchy arms around me taking me through the swing – his hands firmly holding my wrists straight. As uncomfortable as it made me feel the first time he did it, today it was at least ten times worse.

After a few swings, he dropped his arms and spoke.

“I don’t mean to presume anything here, but this is for credit, right? I mean,” he said, looking into the other court, “if she’s going to be too much of a distraction for you, we could try to schedule this for a different time.”

“It’s not that. It’s just that it’s tough getting my mind back into school after the break,”

Actually, it wasn’t Shelly, per say, or school that had been distracting me. Shelly hadn’t said anything more about the test, so up ‘til now, I was more than a little hopeful she hadn’t been serious about me actually doing what it was she told me I had to do. On the other hand, she still wasn’t wearing the ring, so that’s what was going round in my mind, keeping me from concentrating on tennis.

Call me crazy, but while Elijah was taking me through the swings, I actually considered getting it over with. The test, I mean. All I would have had to do was turn my head, kiss him on the lips, and then pretend like it was just some sort of freak accident.

It was just a fleeting thought though. She can’t be serious about me doing it.

I tried to look upbeat as I made my way onto her court after the lesson was over, smiling broadly.

“Oh my god, Phillip,” she said, “I actually thought you were going to do it.”

“Do what,” I asked, feigning ignorance. She’s is serious about it. I cringed inside.

“You looked like you were practically drooling over him when he put his arms around you.”

“Get a life Shelly, I was so-o-o not drooling.”

“Oh yeah? Well it looked to me like you were thinking of licking his tonsils clean before he let go of you. Probably a good thing you had a tennis ball in your front pocket, too.”

“Shut up, Tootsie. You said I only have to kiss him, not stick my tongue in his mouth.”

“I’m just teasing you, Sweets.”

I sighed in frustration.

“It just looked to me like you might’ve wanted to,” she tweaked.

“Michelle, you know I’m not like that.”

“Prove it to me, Phillip,” she said, suddenly looking conciliatory. “We both need to know.”

“What is there to know? Come on Shelly, this is crazy. What if he reports me to the Dean’s Office for sexual harassment?”

“I’ll come to Campus Security and tell them it’s my fault, and that you were simply an accessory to my crime.”

“Look,” I whimpered to Shelly, “don’t you understand? There is absolutely no point in this. Things like that are choices a person makes, and I’ve chosen not to be that way. When God gives someone a new life, he doesn’t expect them to act like perverts.”

I knew she wouldn’t budge. Once she made her mind up about something there was no changing it. I guess that was one thing on my side, though. Why she ever dreamed up this stupid test in the first place is beyond me. But at least I knew that if I passed it, she would never back out of her commitment to our marriage. I just wish I knew exactly what a passing grade was.

“Why don’t you hang around until after his next lesson, get it over with, and then tell me later what it was like?”

“If you want to know what it’s like so badly, why don’t you kiss him, and tell me what it was like.”

“Phillip,” she softly assured me, rubbing my cheek with the back of her hand. “I just want you to be sure, that’s all. I know you love me. …and I love you too. You have to believe me when I tell you this is harder for me than it is for you.”

“Right, where have I heard that line before? Oh, yeah, just before mom gave me a whack on the backside for mouthing her off when I was like eight years old.”

Shelly sniggered. “I’ll be praying for you, Phillip,” then she got serious. “Praying that God will show what’s best for both of us.”

I nervously glanced across the court to where Elijah was talking with his next student. It didn’t help my nerves any when I saw his eyes quickly dart away, like he had been watching me.

How could God have let me get into this situation? I had tried to be so faithful to him.

Last time I was home, the preacher at our church had proclaimed “My friend, God will not allow you to be tempted above that which you can bear, but with the temptation will make a way of escape for you.” He read it right out of the bible. So why now did I suddenly feel like I was the proverbial sheep being led to the slaughter? How was He going to provide me with an escape hatch for this mess? If I had just been better at controlling my eyes when I was with Shelly…

I turned around and pled with her one more time. “Shelly, I don’t think I can actually do it. I don’t think I should. It’s just not right. It’s you I want to spend my life with.”

She gently grabbed the sides of my face and kissed me tenderly on the lips. “Just once, Carrots. Do it for us.” Then she looked at me and said, “and in case you’re wondering, I still think red hair’s sexy.” 

I glanced over at Elijah again, and this time his eyes didn’t dart away.

I was out of options, so I showered, dressed, and returned to the court, taking a seat on the bench near the locker room door to wait. Elijah looked over at me and smiled the huge grin that always seemed to get me smiling too. Today though, I was too busy feeling nervous to return his cheer. He quickly turned and refocused his attention to the slender frosh who was his new student. What do I say to him when he finally makes his way to the locker room? How do you tell someone your girlfriend wants you to kiss him on the lips before she’ll agree to marry you? Pulling a textbook out of my bag, I tried to keep my mind off of what I had to do by working ahead for class.

“Hey, Phillip, what’s up,” Elijah said as he walked past me on his way to the locker room, still discussing tennis with his trainee.

Exasperated, I shoved the heavy book into my backpack, slung it over my shoulder, and pushed the door open.

When he saw me enter the room, he jumped slightly and pulled his shirt back down as if he was uncomfortable with me seeing him without it. God must be answering Shelly’s prayers, I thought to myself, at least I don’t have to deal with that. I was glad about that too. I had never even stopped to think that I might find him changing his clothes, or worse, heading for the shower with just a towel around his waist.

Trying to sound as casual as possible, I found my voice.

“Hey, man, I was wondering if you had a class after you’re finished here. I just sort of want to run something by you and get your input.”

“I was wondering why you were hangin’ out after your lesson.”

I had never really seen Elijah nervous before, but he seemed to be a bit tense now. I wondered if Shelly warned him what was going down. I started to relax a little, thinking maybe this was just a big dare, and Shelly and Elijah were working together just to see how I’d react.

“Nothing earth shaking, I just need to ask you a quick question, that’s all.”

“Ask”

I looked around and saw several other guys changing.

“It’s kind of personal, so I’d kind of like to ask you in private. I’ll wait outside.”

“Sure thing. …be finished in a few.”

He turned away for a moment and then looked around.

“So, how’d it go over the holiday? Did you give her the ring?”

“That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Feeling my face beginning to glow because of what I needed to ask him, I spun around and headed for the exit.

“Be out in a few,” Elijah called from behind me.

“Later, man”

I was pacing around the entrance to the athletic hall like a turkey before Thanksgiving who’s been informed of his fate – my shirt every bit as wet as the one I had just changed out of after my tennis lesson.

“Hey Phillip, what’s up?” Elajah asked, staring at the dark rings of perspiration under my arms.

“Nothing much, just the same old same old,” I nervously chuckled.

“So, what’d she say when you asked her to marry you? I saw you guys after your lesson; looked like she couldn’t keep her hands off you.”

“Yeah, we’d definitely qualify as a couple of space cadets right now. We spent the entire break with my family and hers. It was definitely worth the price of the ring to have so much attention showered on us. We got some nice steak dinners out of it too. Shelly’s mom just couldn’t stop gushing the entire time we were there.”

“At least they like you then.”

“Yeah, I was kind of nervous when I called her dad to ask his permission. That’s a stupid rule. They should never make up rules to force a guy to do anything so difficult.”

“I know what you mean. I hate it when I have to do stuff I’m totally uncomfortable with. “So,” Elijah asked next. “What’s up?”

I hesitated. I can do this! I told myself. It’s for Shelly. One kiss and it’s over. Then we can get on with life.

“Well, you know how I was just saying I hate to do hard things?”

“Uh-oh. Here it comes. She wants you to do some impossible task, in order for you to prove your undying allegiance to her. My sister’s the same way.”

I felt myself relax. He knew. She had to have told him, and he actually seemed okay with it.

“Dude you don’t how relieved you just made me by telling me you understand. You’re okay with it?”

“Okay with what?”

“Yeah, right. Shelly told you what I had to do for her. …Scared the crap out me too.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever even met your girlfriend.”

I looked at him suspiciously, not wanting to believe he was telling the truth.

“Okay. I’m guessing she also told you she wanted you to make me beg you, so here goes. Shelly told me, and correct me if I’m wrong, that before she’ll put my ring on her finger, I have to kiss you on the lips. Right?”

Elijah’s eyes flew open wide with alarm, and right then I knew I was in trouble.

“She what?” he gulped like he was in shock.

“She really didn’t tell you?” I feebly asked.

“No way, man. That’s the first time I heard anything about this, I swear.”

My hands instinctively flew up to the sides of my head, which was slowly shaking back and forth in disbelief.

“Okay, so now you know. Can I… can I do it anyway?”

“Why’s she want you to do that?”

“I wish I knew. Just being a woman I guess – wanting to establish female dominance in the home? I don’t know. All I know is that for some reason she won’t budge until I do it.”

“But why me? Did she tell you it had to be me?”

“That’s was her stipulation. I must have been daydreaming or something, but she said she thought she saw me staring at you one time, and somehow she must think that if a guy looks at another guy, he might have a hidden gay side to him.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Do you have a hidden gay side?”

“Of course not, I asked Michelle to marry me. Would a gay guy ask a girl to marry him?”

Elijah just shrugged, giving me the impression he thought it wasn’t out of the question.

“Did she tell you how long you had to hold the kiss?” He was smiling now. …a huge smile which made me even more nervous than before.

“Just a kiss. That’s it. I told her I was not going to be licking your tonsils.”

“Rats,” he laughed. “Oh my God, I can’t believe she’d do that to you. Maybe the diamond wasn’t big enough?”

“Shut up”

“Hey,” Elijah said tenderly, seeing as I was rather uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going. “No problem, man. I’ll just stand here, and you can do whatever you need to do.”

I looked up nervously at him. “Thanks, Elijah. This is gonna be so hard.”

“…but if you wanted to lick my tonsils…”

“I don’t, thank you very much. Can we do it after dark? I kind of don’t want anyone accidentally seeing us.”

“Meet me by my car at six. We can hit Romano’s when the dirty deed is done.”

I watched, as he turned and walked away from me, shaking his head in disbelief and smiling like I had never seen him smile before.

My knees were shaking as I watched him head toward me. He looked like he was dressed to kill in his cargo pants and leather jacket which he left hanging open to reveal his tight black tee-shirt. Not feeling at all confident in myself, I had pulled on my oldest pair of jeans and had my hoodie pulled forward to hide my face.

“Even if you don’t,” he said, tucking his locks neatly behind his ears, “I think I’m gonna like this.” The car lights flash and the horn tooted when he pushed the button on his key fob. “Oh God, please provide a way of escape” I pleaded as I climbed in.

We pulled out of the parking lot, drove down a dimly lit side street and pulled up to the curb.

“Okay,” Elijah told me, again smiling broadly. “You tell me what I have to do, and then you do your thing. …not that I want to rush you, but I am kind of hungry.”

“I guess just sit there. You’ll have to turn your head toward me.”

“You want me to pucker, or would you rather it be au naturél?”

“Dude, you are not making this any easier for me.”

“Well then, you can tell Michelle you had to slay the beast before you could taste the fruit of victory.”

“Just shut up and turn your face towards me.”

He closed his eyes, puckered his lips tightly, and turned toward me. It was plainly evident by the look on his face he was enjoying my torment.

“Don’t move,” I ordered as I tentatively leaned across the consol of the car.

I stopped just short of touching his lips. Afraid …so very afraid of what I was about to do. It was at that moment I realize I was sitting face to face; not with Elijah Cohen, but with the reality of my deepest, darkest desire. As much as I loved Shelly, I knew this was so much more than a just a kiss. In this one simple act, I was about to break down a barrier that I had determinedly kept in place for five years.

He opened his eyes when sensed my hesitation, then very gently put his hand behind my neck and drew me toward his lips.

“I won’t bite you,” he whispered, almost reverently.

I was not fully prepared for the surge of emotion that hit my body as our lips came together. To say the touch of my lips to his was a shock is understating the truth by a lot. Not just his lips, but the prickling of his unshaven whiskers which sent tiny jolts of electricity through my entire body. I felt Elijah’s hand leave my neck, and I quickly drew back from him. We just stared at each other for the longest time without saying a word to each other; then I looked away.

“I’ve wanted to do that since the first time I met you, Phillip.”

When I looked back at him, he was leaning forward; so much desire painted on his face. His breath smelled of peppermint, and almost as if he was willing me to do it, I felt myself moving toward his lips again. This time it was my hand that involuntarily found the back of his head pulling him in. Our tongues fought each other’s for dominance as I ran my fingers through his dark curls. They were as soft as I had imagined. Totally out of breath, heart racing wildly, I pulled back once more and slumped into my seat. I was stunned …and I now knew what Shelly must have suspected all along. I wanted to cry. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what I might tell her when she asked me.

The backs of his fingers lightly brushed my cheek. “Did I pass the test?” Elijah asked, breaking the silence.

“It wasn’t your test,” I solemnly whispered. “Oh god, what have we done.”

“Let’s see…” he began, wriggling his left eyebrow.

“Just stop it, Elijah. I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Sorry, Phillip. So, I take it you don’t think you passed?”

“I’m so confused. Why couldn’t she have just put the ring on her finger and been happy?”

“Maybe God has other plans for your life.”

“Like what?”

Before Elijah could answer, his stomach complained loudly that he hadn’t swallowed what he had been chewing. “Like maybe eating pizza? I’m starved.” He chuckled.

“You should have seen you face, Phil. You’re eyes got all big, and then they started blinking” he laughed as he batted his eyes a million miles an hour. He looked so ridiculous I had to chuckle at him laughing at me.

When his laughter died down, Elijah locked my gaze to his by putting his hand behind my head again. “Did you actually tell her you wouldn’t lick my tonsils?”

“I… I’m sorry… I just never expected…”

“You’re a Christian, aren’t you,” Elijah asked, seemingly out of the blue.

“I thought so. At least before tonight I thought I was.”

“We kind of believe in the same God then, because I’m Jewish.”

I looked at him wondering where he was going with this.

“Do you believe God sometimes answers your prayer the way you want him to, Phillip? …‘cause I think God answered my most earnest prayer tonight. The first time I saw you, I felt like God was smiling on me – like he had meant for us to be together in some way. For years, I had a hard time believing God had actually made me gay – or at least that maybe he was okay with it. …then when I saw you standing on the tennis court that day, it was like I could feel God telling me he was going work things out in my life. I just had this sense you would be part of that. I used to see you watching me sometimes, and it made me hopeful that…

“Phillip, I felt so lost over the holidays, knowing you were going to ask Michelle to marry you. …thinking that maybe I misinterpreted what I felt.

“I don’t want to assume anything. I guess I just wanted you to know in case you felt it too. I’m glad Michelle made you do this.”

There was nothing I could say to him at the moment other than, “I’m starved. Let’s get out of here.”