Kayden II
by Ryan Keith
Chapter 1 - Lies
***Zac***
More than two weeks have gone by since Scott and I talked at his special place behind that old building. I didn't plan on coming out to all my friends until I was more comfortable with myself, and was positive they weren't going to butcher me when they found out. Coming out to Shin, Jett and Scott had proved to be difficult. Each in his own way, that is. Trying to get Shin to listen was much harder than I had anticipated. Scott and I had had the little misunderstanding the week before our talk, but that was eventually cleared up.
Scott and I had gotten in many fights when we were kids, nothing as serious as what happened that week; just more or less friendly fights. When we had first met, we had almost hated each other. As we grew up we got more and more into conflicts, but childish conflicts. At his house he wanted to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while I wanted to watch Samurai Pizza Cats. I would tell my dad whenever Scott was being bad at our house, and he would be near to tears when my dad lectured him over his behavior. Still, Scott depended on me when things were serious. I was the first person he went to when he found out his feelings for a girl. I was the first person he went to when she rejected him. When his parents got mad at him, he came to me. When people bothered him, he didn't ask me for help. He did what he could do by himself, but then came to me when his pride was shot. Scott is an irreplaceable person in my life. His wild, rebellious, irresponsible, mischievous, and charming attitude is unique. He is cocky and childish, but no one can pull both off like he does.
Jett was a surprise. I discovered that our bond of friendship means much more to him than had I realized. He was mostly just angry I'd never told him, even though we grew up together. We lost our first tooth within the same month when we were kids. I taught him the joy of swimming, and he taught me the rush of hockey. I was the first one he told about his relationships with girls. Jett watched over me more than I could watch out for him. He was always big for his age; not fat, just tall and big. He was always gentle with me when it came to physical stuff, like I was fragile or something. It wasn't until grade 6 that I noticed his developing muscles. Like Scott, Jett always seems to come to me when he has trouble. I like the way I'm helpful to him, but sometimes it feel like I can't do enough. Out of Shin, Jett and Scott, Jett knows the most about me, and understands the way I think. His father died when he was just a baby, and I have no mother. I guess we depend on each other to get through things. I was too overwhelmed to notice at the moment I came out to him, but Jett truly doesn't care what I am, as long as it doesn't change who I am. I'm truly blessed to have a buddy like Jett.
Shin. How boring would life be without Shin? I met Shin at about the same time I met Jett. His family had moved up to Whitby from Toronto to get away from the violence in that area. When Shin first came to school, many people liked him because he seemed to laugh at everything. However, he spent most of his time on the school computers just drawing pictures and shapes, using school programs. He was a bit chubby but really was easy to approach. Everyone was kind to him, and he was warm to everyone else. Yet, as a kid he seemed lonely. Everything changed when Jett and I approached him. He suddenly latched onto us and wouldn't let go. Soon after Scott came into the picture, and after an exchange of pranks, Shin attached to Scott, and drew him closer to Jett and me. After that, we were unbreakable. No one could mess with us, and no one could split us up. There was a meeting at school with the parents of the four of us when we were in grade 4, to propose that we be separated into two classes, because together, we caused too much disturbance. Our parents and the principal decided that the four of us combined showed more progress than most students, and were more constructive than destructive.
It was common for us to eat at each other's houses freely, and we walked in and out of each other's homes like we lived there. We had our own sets of clothing at each other's houses just in case we decided to sleep over.
Shin's house along with his parents and younger siblings creates a cozy atmosphere. They are always very kind, hospitable people, who show as much concern for our grades as for Shin's. Shin's parents always make sure we're comfortable, and take time to help us with our schoolwork. They keep us in line when it comes to grades.
Scott's parents make sure we never step out of line attitude-wise. His mom silences our profanity and his dad has taught us cool stuff, like fishing and camping. Scott also has the largest backyard and while we were growing up we often spent days camping or just playing back there.
Jett's mom is motherly to all of us. When we were younger, she always made sure we had our mittens and hoods, and she would read to all of us when we stayed over. She's the best cook we ever met.
My dad. Well, he's the guy you can tell anything to. Scott can joke with him and Dad loves it. Dad tells Scott about his days in high school, playing around or just causing trouble. My dad was a crazy kid. Jett looks up to my dad like an older brother and Dad treats him like a younger brother. Shin is obsessed over the fact that my dad is a baseball fan. There have been days when Jett, Scott and I have grown restless and antsy when Dad and Shin have sat around for hours organizing their baseball cards.
After everything was out in the open, I began waking every morning feeling like it was going to be the greatest day ever. I have my friends, my extended family, and the one who changed my life forever, Kayden Pierce, the boy who means the world to me.
When I first met Kayden, he took my breath away. When Kayden walked into that classroom, when he looked into me with his ocean-blue eyes, I knew my life would never be the same. I had never been so attracted to anyone. We immediately attached ourselves to each other. Within a month, the lives of my friends and myself were intertwined with Kayden's forever.
Because of the incident in Toronto, I was able to discover things about Kayden I would never have suspected. For one thing, he's a runaway. There's also the fact that he had been involved in some serious gang-related business back in Toronto, which haunts him even today. Yet, through all that, I discovered how caring Kayden is. I see how much he values friendship, and I see how interacting with people is important to him. I see how far he is willing to go for love. I can tell Kayden doesn't trust Alicia, and I can understand why. I can't stand the girls who buzz around Kayden after school, either. I'm just better at not showing it. I love Kayden. I don't know how I could ever live without him. Ever since he's come into my life, everything is much clearer. He completes me.
However, there's a secret with Kayden. One he keeps so guarded, and one it seems he wishes he could forget. I've never found out why Kayden ran away from home. I mentioned it once, but he just smiled sadly at me and said it wasn't a big deal.
It's mid October. Maya's recital was last week, a few days ago. She was phenomenal. I couldn't believe how well she played. It was the first event all our friends had gone out to together. Mai and Shin looked like a hot couple. He wore a nice suit with this cool collar that stuck out with style. He wore a tie and looked pretty styling. I know I wouldn't be able to do the same. It had an Asian look to it. Jett, Scott, and Kayden wore normal suits. They looked like they were going to a business meeting, but Kayden sure looked great. He would look great in a toga… Note to self: make sure to one day dress Kade in a toga. I know I went a little overboard in dressing up, but the only suit I had was the Armani one Dad got me. I felt embarrassed wearing it but everyone seemed to think it fit me.
When I came out to my close friends, the most shocked of all was Mai. She denied it several times before she heard it come out of my mouth. Even still, she thought we were lying to her. She didn't really treat me any different from before, but she was taken back a bit. She was raised in a family that follows the church strictly and frowns upon homosexuality, but she did give me her promise to try to accept me as a person instead of judging me based on my sexuality. So far, she has done a kickass job of it. Maya was most expressive about it. She hangs around Kayden more now, and they go shopping together, go out for coffee, and talk about me behind my back. It's weird to see Maya whispering in my boyfriend's ear and him turning to me with those sexy eyes.
I invite my friends over a lot more, and we just hang out in my basement. Shin is as stupid as ever. Scott has taken a liking in Kayden, and they get along pretty well. It finally sank in to Scott that I love Kayden and have no intention of replacing the Scott in my life. Everyone is cool about Kade and me, but Jett worries me sometimes.
I'm openly affectionate with Kayden around my friends. I grab him and playfully tackle him, or he sneaks up behind me and hugs me, or vice versa. Seldom do I kiss him in front of my friends, because they would stare at us intently as if we were in an exhibition and I feel too embarrassed to do that. Jett, however, always seems to have a neutral face whenever we're close. He has said he approves of our relationship, but he doesn't seem to show it. Maybe I have been just paranoid, because he's still the best friend I depend on. He asks me about Kayden, and tells me things Kayden may like; things Jett does for girls he likes. He really should write a book about these things because he is definitely a pro. Little things like making Kayden dinner or giving him back massages are fun to do. They're gifts for me, too. I enjoy the feeling I get when I rub Kayden's back. The way the muscles of his back are exposed is not only a turn on, but a great way to show my love for him. He has tried it on me several times but I'm too ticklish and I wiggle away rather than have his magical hands touch my sides.
Still, Kayden works wonders on me. He's made me feel amazing; he's shown me feelings I never knew I possessed. Kayden is my life, my love, my soul.
I must have looked like a fool as I walked into the school. A smile plastered my face and refused to disappear. Just thinking about my friends and Kayden could make even the worst day amazing. People greeted me as I walked towards the main foyer. I offered my greetings as well, but I think I might have missed a few of theirs. I was still kind of in my own little world.
"Hey, Zac," a familiar voice called out.
I turned my head and was greeted by my very best friend, Jett. His brotherly presence makes me feel stronger. I love Jett. He is true with all our friends, and he has the personality I could only wish to have. Not only is he very accepting, but also he's easy to approach, gentle, and nice to talk to. I'd go as far to say he is known by perhaps everyone in school, younger and older students. Having an older sister has its benefits.
I smiled broadly as he approached, and then walked by his side while we chatted idly.
"How did the swim meet go?" Jett asked.
"Not bad, but not my best. I came second in two of the events, but in the 200-meter freestyle I got first place."
"Wow, that's amazing, buddy," Jett said honestly. "I'm really sorry I didn't go to the swim meet."
"Don't worry about it, man. You had a game. I didn't go to your game, if you didn't realize."
Jett smiled like he'd just thought of it. "Yeah, I guess so. Did Kayden go to your meet?"
"Of course!" I said proudly. "He was one of the louder cheerers in the crowd."
He really wasn't, but he sure was proud when I grabbed that first place.
"Where is everyone?" he asked, as we walked into the cafeteria.
I looked around. Sure enough, our friends weren't there. Usually Shin and Mai are the first ones in among us. We stepped out of the cafeteria and heard a voice that couldn't belong to anyone but Scott.
"I said fuck off!"
Jett looked at me surprised before we ran towards the voices.
As we came to the open area in the La Place, I noticed Mai and Shin standing near Kade. Kade was looking rather weary. Turning to Scott, I was surprised. He stood in front of several guys who are older than us. I didn't know them, but I'd seen them before. They were guys most people would associate with jocks.
Maya stood beside Scott, staring daggers at the older students.
"This is rather low," she said, in a composed manner. "I thought there were some brains that went with those muscles. I guess it's a lost cause for these apes…" She turned to Mai and shrugged. "Looks like Jett is one of the only few with both brains and skill." She faced the guys in front of her again. "I won't stand my friends being pushed around like that."
I was impressed with Maya's words. A bit cruel for a girl like her, but simply straight to the point.
"What's going on here?" I asked, stepping toward Kayden.
The older students began throwing more comments and remarks, which I simply ignored.
Shin and Mai turned to me with serious faces. "Those... guys… were picking on Kade."
Anger flared in my mind. Turning to the juniors, I had the sudden urge to knock them all out.
"Guys, it's okay, really," a stern voice said.
The crowd that was gathering was doubling by the second. Mostly everyone turned to Kayden when he spoke.
"It's not a big deal, guy. It was a misunderstanding. I tripped, that's all." Kayden started.
"Oh, shut up, Kade," Scott said, shooting him a look. "You think I'd stand around and let you be bullied by these fucks? Maya saw what happened." Turning back to them, Scott sneered, "I'll kick their ass. They'll think twice before fucking with one of my friends."
"Sorry to say this, Kade, but you can't stop us." Maya said the words to Kade, but her stare kept the bullies at bay.
"Looks like the little pussy can't even defend himself," one of the older students mocked.
"He could easily kick your ass."
I had spoken loud enough for everyone to hear me. Faces turned as I stepped up towards Scott and Maya. A triumphant grin appeared on Scott's face and Maya's cold look became a smile.
"That's enough, Watkins," Jett said, stepping up. "Kayden is with me. Stay away from him."
I was impressed with all my friends. Mai and Shin made sure Kayden was okay. Scott and Maya stood up to the bullies, and Jett spoke to the juniors without fear.
"I don't believe this, Jett. Are you serious, man?" the guy asked.
"I'm dead serious, Ted. Fuck, man, who do you think you are? What are you trying to prove? If you want a fight then fight me"
I watched as a few of this Ted fellow's friends stepped back. That was understandable; who'd want to fight a guy like Jett?
"Whatever, man," the guy said, turning away.
The four jocks disappeared into the crowd and we turned back towards Kayden. The bystanders sighed with disappointment, understanding there would be no fight. Slowly, they dispersed.
"You okay, man?" Jett asked quietly.
"Y- yeah, thanks guys. No one ever did anything like that for me."
I had the sudden urge to hold my boyfriend in my arms. Every nerve in my body worked to keep me at bay.
"Oh, fuck the formalities, dude. The last thing we need is you in a hospital. Zac would have a breakdown if something happened to you," Scott said, grinning.
I blushed slightly, but I knew he was right. I would go a little crazy if anything ever happened to Kayden. I knew those guys wouldn't be able to touch him, anyways.
No one but me knows about Kade. Shit, they'd all piss themselves if they knew he didn't actually need their help.
"Who were those assholes, anyways?" Mai asked, grabbing Shin's hand. I could see my boy giving it a gentle squeeze. I couldn't help but smile.
"That's Ted Watkins. He's in grade eleven. He's on my hockey team, a real arrogant prick," Jett sighed. "He's aiming for team captain next year, but knowing how he is, the team will suffer." Jett smiled a bit. "I really don't need to worry, the coach has had his eye on me for a while, and he gets as pissed as I do over Ted's arrogance."
"You sound rather confident," Scott joked. "Is your so-called skill all someone needs to be captain? Maybe I should join. I wouldn't mind adding 'captain' to my title."
Jett smirked as the rest of our friends laughed lightly at the friendly banter. "Right, dude, I can skate loops around your ass."
"Shit, I thought Zac and Kade were the only ones into asses," Scott retorted.
I looked away with embarrassment. I could tell Kayden was in the same state.
All I heard was Scott saying "Oww". I knew either Maya or Jett had smacked him; perhaps both.
Our friends tease me and Kayden about our sexuality. Scott's the one who teases us the most. Scott's last remark was funny for them but embarrassing to me. I have no problem with them saying stuff with just us around, but we were in school. Plus, I'm still getting used to the fact that they know.
The warning bell sounded and we all smiled at one another.
"We'll see each other around, I guess?" Shin offered.
"Right, thanks a lot, guys." Kayden smiled.
Everyone nodded to him before splitting up. Maya, Kayden and I started walking towards our first class. Going to that class was a bit of a contradiction. We were walking into hell to learn about religion. We had all agreed that Mr. Sergeant is an avid follower of Satan.
***Kayden***
That morning I truly discovered I have friends.
I always thought Scott hated me, but all of a sudden it was like he changed. He wasn't hostile towards me when Zac and I were together. He was even quite supportive of our relationship. I suppose he thought I was a threat at first; that I was trying to take Zac away from him. Now, with the way things are, I couldn't be any happier. Yet still, there's always room for change. Rick always said that change can bring sadness or more happiness. He was right; there really is no limit to happiness.
That morning was a bit weird for me. I never realized I was a target for the school bullies until this Ted Watkins tripped me. I was surprised I was really calm. I guess having friends meant I didn't want to disappoint them. Everyone means so much to me. Jett, Shin, Mai, and Scott, friends I've never had. Maya, a truly beautiful person, inside and out, is my best friend, the closest I've ever been with another person, besides Zac.
But Zac is everything. Over the last few weeks, I've come to realize how much Zac completes me. Things that used to tick me off no longer bother me. I found myself opening up to him and other people. Zac is the only one who knows a bit about my past.
When I was a kid, I was afraid I wouldn't find the love of my life. Everywhere around me, relationships were as fragile as glass. My real parents were still together and they truly loved each other, but I knew relationships like theirs are really hard to come by. Being gay, I thought I would never get that opportunity. I was wrong, and I'm glad I was.
Scott standing up for me was the biggest shock. If I were at home I would have cried. I was that proud to be associated with him, and for him to call me a friend. It was like I was finally accepted. Everyone has been nothing but kind to me. I feel bad having to deceive them with the made-up story of my life. I'm just proud none of them have asked to come into my house. Nothing is really in there except Rick's furniture, a few memorable pictures, and some keepsakes. The item I was most afraid of giving up or losing, I had given to the love of my life. Even before I found out I love Zac, I gave him Rick's memento; the sapphire tear he had loved so much. Given to him by his love, and now, offered to Zac. I was basing everything on faith, hoping Zac would notice me, I was lucky God heard me.
Sometimes I prefer being alone, taking time to reflect on my life. As I stepped out of the servery with my lunch, I scanned the cafeteria looking for Mai. The teacher in our last class had asked to speak to her, so I figured she wasn't out yet.
It's amazing how things just happen. One minute I was holding my lunch and the next minute it was on the floor, and Ted was in my face.
"Hey, man. Where are your friends now?" he sneered at me.
I sighed inwardly. This is why I don't want those guys sticking up for me. It just makes bigger problems.
I looked around for a teacher on lunch duty. None… great!
"Listen, Ted. That is your name, right?" I asked. He sniffed arrogantly and tried to stare me down. "I don't want any problems, okay? Just leave my friends out of it. What's your problem, anyways? What the hell did I do to you?"
"You fucking annoy me, fucking faggot!" he said in a low voice.
Hardly dangerous, and a good example of a jock with no brains. No offense, Jett…
The next thing I knew, I was doubled over with my hands holding my body up, my gut hurting from the sudden pain. I grabbed my stomach, trying to ease the pain as I heard a few of Ted's cronies laughing. I heard him crouch down as he grabbed the back of my shirt.
"Don't fuck with me, new guy. People fear me. The faster you get that, the sooner you deal with the pain. You simply piss me off. You might think you're all that, but I'm here to show you that you're nothing more than a mark I leave on the floor."
"That's great, dude, but what are you going to say to the teacher who comes by in the next few minutes. It's kind of sloppy to pick on me when there are so many witnesses."
I knew that was weak. No one was going to stand up to Ted and tell the teacher, but I was just hoping he was stupid enough to believe it. I felt more pain in my stomach. I didn't realize being kicked was supposed to hurt that much.
I heard a few murmurs before I noticed a pleasant smell. It smelt like a combination of plums and peaches.
Mai!
"I said back off!" she shouted.
I looked up as she crouched to my side and tried to help me up.
It was then I noticed Ted on the floor, a bit disoriented. Knowing Mai, she probably saw me and kicked Ted while he was crouched beside me. She can be pretty vicious.
Oh my pretty, violent Asian girl. I smiled. She's been pretty open with her boldness, but that little experience opened up a whole new level for Mai.
"Hey, you okay?" she asked, helping me up.
"Yeah, sorry about this…" I whispered.
"Oh, stop it. Let's get you to the nurse's office."
I was worried that Ted and his goons were going to get in our way, but then I noticed two teachers shouting something at them. I smiled to myself. I warned them…
As we walked to the nurse's office, Mai understood I could walk on my own. I was feeling rather fine, but she insisted on going.
"I was wrong about you. I thought you were one of those people who reacts to bullies. But you don't even fight back," she commented.
"Well, I just don't want to make things worse. It was because of what happened this morning that Ted attacked me again. I wanted him to get it out of his system so he'll just leave me alone."
"Hon, people like Ted will keep coming at you unless you stand up to them. I know you saved the guys in Toronto. How did you manage that? You stood up to those bullies. You got your hand injured but you still stood up to them. What happened to the guy who was brave like that? Maybe you're getting soft."
The word hit me like a ton of bricks.
Am I turning soft?
"Mai, I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell Zac and the guys about this, even Shin or Maya."
She stopped and looked at me. "You're kidding me, right? Kade, your friends will help you. That's what friends do. I will even…"
"If they do, these things will just keep escalating. Ted won't bother us anymore."
"How do you know that?"
"The teachers caught them this time. They're going to be suspended, at the least. That should knock some sense into them."
She hesitated when I gave her a steady look. "Fine, we'll play it your way, but if they approach you again I'm telling the guys."
Smiling the best smile I could muster under those conditions, I thanked her.
***Zac***
"Come on, guy, you can do…" I encouraged him. Again I heard Kayden swallow and I smiled.
"Uh…I…"
"That's it, keep going, nice and slow," I whispered seductively.
"…I- I can't…" he groaned.
"Don't give up buddy, you're halfway there!" I stated. I listened to him push himself. I believed he could do it.
"I…uh…"
I knew he was at the point of no return, and I grinned happily.
"...I was wondering if we could see a movie tomorrow…"
"Fucking finally, dude!" I practically yelled into the receiver.
"It's just… I don't know, I'm kinda embarrassed," my cute boyfriend answered. I could almost hear him blush.
"But why? Shit, man, is it so hard to ask me for a date?" I asked, pretending to be offended.
"No, of course not! I want to date you. You and only you, Zac!"
I was a bit surprised at his sudden fierceness. I recovered quickly and felt myself blush. I was glad he felt so strongly about it.
"Well, the answer obviously is yes, dude," I said
"Really? Great!"
I love the way Kayden acts so innocent. He sure is a fighter, but emotionally, he seems innocent. Something about that seems really special and I value it.
"What's with you, anyways?" I asked, only half serious. "You weren't this shy before we started going out. And we've already done some stuff…" I felt my cheeks redden as I paused. "What's to be embarrassed about?"
"Sorry, Zac." He really did sound sorry. "I just don't want to screw this up, ya know? I don't want to seem too forward. I'm not, am I?"
Listening to my blue-eyed fighter worry about being too forward was way too cute. I was tempted to run to his house just to hug him.
"Of course not! You're not forward enough, man. You should be more expressive, like when we first met. Remember? 'I'm Kayden Pierce, I like pizza and ice cream, blah, blah, blah'," I joked with the best deep voice I could make.
His laugh was a heavenly note not found in any music piece.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I'll try to be a better boyfriend."
I didn't think my cheeks could get any more red. I knew we were going out, but just referring to each other as a significant other was still hard to believe.
"Don't be," I whispered. "I really like you, you know that?"
"I know. You might just like me, but I love you," I heard him say into the phone.
That caught me by surprise. I too tried to convey my feelings. "I- I… umm…" Now it was my turn to swallow dry.
"Come on, Zac. You can do it," Kayden chuckled.
"Shut up!" I said, embarrassed. I felt the skin melting off my face as Kade continued to torment me.
Dinner that night with Dad was pretty normal. He came home and ran straight to his computer to check his e-mail. I was in the middle of grilling some burgers as he came out with a beer in hand.
"Hey, Zac, what's new?"
I played along with the idle chat game we had going on. It was a whole new level of joking, with also highlights of our day.
"Well, I passed that religion test, for one thing." Actually, barely passed. I was really mad, too. I had made almost the exact points Maya had in a short-answer question on the test and I only got two marks. It was worth six! Maya got six marks, but I didn't want to confront our teacher, regardless how much Maya encouraged me. I figure Mr. Sergeant just hates me.
Dad took a swig of his beer. "Yeah, go on."
"That's pretty much it. Oh, and Kayden and I are going out tomorrow," I said proudly.
"Hey! Your first date!" Dad said happily.
"It's not our first date!" I argued. "It's like our tenth or so."
"Zac, having your friends tag along hardly counts as a date. This is going to be the first date with only you and Kayden. Come on, admit it."
I knew he was right, and he wanted me to tell him he was right. I stared at him, looking for loopholes, but he just grinned at me.
"The burgers are burning," he commented.
I cursed loudly as I turned back to the job at hand. I noticed Mrs. Morrison, our neighbour, giving me a chastened look as my dad laughed loudly.
***Kayden***
I couldn't understand why I felt so nervous. I've gone out with Zac plenty of times, but I guess I came to realize this was going to be the first time we would be alone. I became a bit self-conscious while I walked to his house. It felt like everyone was staring at me, but whenever I turned around they really weren't. I felt like I was becoming paranoid. Mai's telling me I was going soft was also hanging on my mind. I have to admit, since I came to Whitby I've calmed down a bit. In Toronto I was always trying to impose a tough-guy attitude, but when I got to Whitby I wanted to abandon it. I felt like I was back in… No. I promised myself I would forget about that place…
"Hey, you in there?"
I noticed I had stopped walking and I was staring at the ground. I looked up and felt my throat parch up. Zac Hunter stood in front of me. His calm eyes lay on me and I felt their warm embrace. His lips curved into a smile. I felt myself wanting to press my lips against his. His usually short, gelled hair had grown over the few weeks. I don't think he had gel in his hair; it looked wavy but kept its form. It was mid October so he wore a blue and black blazer, his breath clearly showing in the cold air. All my thoughts stopped as I stared at the boy in front of me.
"What?" he asked, giving me a curious look.
"Nothing," I said, eagerly shaking my head, "You just… you look great!"
He smiled again for me and I felt my heart cry out for him. I love Zac. Yet it feels so unreal to live this reality. He does so much for who I am. I can't understand what he sees in me. Sometimes I wonder if he will one day open his eyes and see the simple kid he is dating and decide to break things off. That's my biggest fear, bigger than being found in Whitby. In just two short months, I've come to depend on Zac for support. He is amazing. After Scott found out, I worried that Zac was going to suddenly decide he wasn't gay and turn on me. I had nothing to worry about. I…
"Okay, there you go again, am I that interesting to look at?"
I didn't care who was around to see. I grabbed Zac and gave him the most heartfelt hug I had ever given anyone. As I held him in my arms, I felt as if he were my lifeboat, and I would sink without him.
Zac was a bit embarrassed after the hug. No one was around, but I knew he wasn't worried about that. I felt him pressing against my thigh and grinned at him as he blushed uncontrollably. He was lucky it was nearly winter and he had a jacket to cover his condition.
"You're such an asshole," he joked as we walked towards the bus stop, "You did that on purpose."
The reason behind it would be a secret of mine forever. I was just really glad to see him.
"What were you doing waiting for me outside? I said I was going to pick you up," I said to him.
"Yeah, and I waited for you on the porch." I felt his hand brush mine and I felt electricity run through my body. He gave me that million-dollar smile and continued, "I saw you walking, but you suddenly stopped and started staring at the ground. You were like that for like two minutes. Do you usually blank out like that?"
"Nah, I was just thinking of you." It was the truth, but I loved the way I made him turn away, embarrassed. I hoped to God he would never lose that cuteness and innocence. Then again, in the future he might be more hunky without that.
"So, what's the plan?" I asked.
"You mean besides the simple dinner and movie, then back to my place where we shag?"
Zac had said it in such a serious tone that I almost dropped down to my knees in laughter. We hadn't really gotten that far in our sex life. We still hadn't done everything, but I was content with what we had done. I was eager to get on with it, but I knew Zac wanted to wait until we were both ready.
"Well, we could just skip the movie and dinner and go straight for dessert," I said, with the same tone he had used. I tilted my head to look at him and he was red in the face and gripping the bus bar rail pretty tightly.
"Wow, for someone who was just now really blunt in talking about sex, you sure embarrass easily." I winked at him.
He shot me a look that said, "Say no more!"
I chuckled and bit my bottom lip. We kept our gaze leveled, but I really wanted to just hold him and kiss him. Seeing it was a half full bus, we really didn't want to out ourselves to the whole world. We know where our sexuality stands with our friends; we just aren't prepared for the rest of the world.
"Well, besides the movie and just dinner," he looked at me with a challenging raised eyebrow, "I was hoping to get this game for Shin at Electronic Boutique."
"What? When is his birthday?" I asked, a bit angry I didn't know the birthdays of the important people in my life.
"Well, not until December, but I got this gift certificate that expires next week."
"Ah, I see," I said, doing my best detective act.
"That, and I want to get a new Speedo. I have a swim meet this weekend and I want a new suit."
I felt the lower half of my body stiffen, and was slightly embarrassed with my excited state. I was going to see my boyfriend try out a series of Speedos. Who wouldn't be excited?
"That got you going, didn't it?" he teased. I simply nodded my head.
"Will I get to go to your swim meet?" I asked. I had gone to his last one and he was amazing. I had watched his back muscles flex as he swam. Sitting down was a privilege for me.
"I was hoping you'd come. It's on Sunday. You seem to motivate me by just being there. Jett will be there this time, so you won't be bored staring at guys in Speedos."
I stepped closer to him, really close, compared to other friends. "There were some seriously hot guys there, but you outshone them all. Watching the water drip off you made me like, cream myself." Saying that wasn't a problem. I was pissed I could say things like that but got worked up just asking him out.
Surprisingly, Zac didn't get all flustered like I wished he would. Instead, he grinned rather arrogantly at me. With my right hand, I nicked his chin and stepped back. Looking to the side I saw a lone girl staring at us, but she turned away rather quickly when I made eye contact. My baby attracts the attention of schoolgirls. I felt a bit proud of that.
I was happy we were able to get a table at Casey's Bar and Grill. It is usually packed on a Friday night. Zac had already grabbed a game for Shin, but because of the lack of time, he decided not to buy a new Speedo. I was a bit disappointed, but I knew there would be more opportunities.
***Zac***
"So, babe, which movie?" Kayden asked as we strolled towards the lineup.
I smiled at being called “babe” by my boyfriend. It was cute. Kayden could call me whatever he wanted; I'd still be smiling.
"Well, what about 'Three Kings'?"
He looked at me oddly. "You just want to look at Mark Wahlberg don't you?" he accused.
I knew I wanted to, but I also had heard good things about the movie. "Well, obviously. He's like everyone's dream guy," I joked. I really don't like Mark Wahlberg. He has a great body, but something about him always seems to piss me off. "Plus, I like seeing his body a lot better than the one I've been seeing recently," I joked.
"Hey!" Kayden bit his bottom lip. That looked seductive, but I knew he was just teasing. "I'm trying, ya know. I've gone to the gym like three to four times a week just to get a body you can love."
I changed my expression completely; I didn't want him thinking he had to be the best to impress me. "Kade… you don't need to change who you are. I like you just the way you are. You don't need to do all that just to make me happy. I'm already happy…"
His smile never faded. In fact, I think it grew wider. He said, "I need the muscles just in case you say you're ready. There's this cool position using the wall. I saw it on the `net."
I almost choked on my own spit. We had agreed to hold off, umm, butt sex, until we're both ready for it. I knew he was, but I still felt a bit off about the whole idea. I didn't want to rush things, and he didn't want to hurt me. We occasionally joked about it, but to hear him say that after I had been serious completely threw me off.
"You… piece of…"
"Shit?" he finished my sentence for me.
My face was fuming with embarrassment. A couple people stared at us, and I was scared to know whether they heard anything.
"Whatever…" I said, turning my back. I walked to the benches as he started to chase me. Seeing he was going to lose his space in the line, he stayed. I smiled, knowing he was panicking by now. I just waited with a cool expression.
Let him feel what it's like!
He walked toward me with a dejected look. I calmly looked away and pretended I didn't see him. It was going great until I smiled, then he released his breath and jumped onto the bench with me. Our hands touched and I felt his apology through our skin. I turned to him and smiled, watching as he breathed out his relief.
"Okay, next time I choose the movie," Kayden said with an arm around my neck. To anyone else, it probably looked like two high school guys just having fun. I hope it did anyways, because no way in hell did I feel like telling him to get off.
"What's not to like? I thought it was a good movie," I argued.
"I didn't get half of it," he said in a low voice.
"Well, that's because you kept looking at me the whole time!"
I was right. I had watched the movie, but once in a while I had turned to Kayden and noticed him staring at me. We even held hands under the armrest, away from everyone's view.
"Honestly speaking, I'd rather watch the movie titled 'Zac Hunter' rather than any Mark Wahlberg film. There's a really hot guy in it," he teased.
Taking a cautious look around, I stepped forward and pressed my lips onto his. We were behind the theatres after taking the wrong exit, so we had to walk around to the front and cross the street to where the buses were. We stood in each other's embrace for a moment before I stepped back. There was a distinct shine in Kayden's eyes. They were pale grey, but they weren't cold. Rather, they were embracing. His smile complemented his eyes and I felt them lust for me. Without a word, but knowing each other's feelings, we started on our way home as a peaceful silence hung around us.
Dad greeted us as we went into the house. He sat reading a newspaper in the living room, something he rarely does. I knew he would be waiting up for me. I guess any parent would be worried about his child's first date.
"Hey, Dad," I said as we walked in.
Kayden stood behind me, a bit shy of my dad. I didn't understand why, because he knows my dad likes him. I guess he didn't want to look bad in front of my father. Dad is one of those people you just have to respect. He's young, kind, good looking, and still a kid at heart. He can relate to our younger generation.
"Take a seat, guys. How was the movie?" Dad asked, folding his paper.
"Not bad, but Kayden didn't like it," I said, rolling my eyes to my boyfriend. I told Dad we had seen “Three Kings”.
"Oh? George Clooney? Wow, didn't know you were into the old men, Zac," Dad joked.
"Aww, geez, that's so wrong," I grimaced. Kade chuckled beside me. "It was Marky Mark that attracted me."
"Yeah, but Zac was better to look at than some Hollywood actor," Kayden said, taking a seat on the sofa next to my dad. I followed suit, not planning on standing the whole time.
"Come on, dude, you wasted like twelve bucks to look at me and hold my hand when we could have done that here." If I'd known that was all he wanted to do, hell, I would have been game.
Dad raised an eyebrow. "You guys are being careful in public, right?"
I could tell he was concerned. I guess I would be too, knowing my only son could be attacked just for being different.
"We were careful, sir," Kade said in a formal tone of voice. He was trying to put on the goody-goody boyfriend face. I smiled.
"I just want you boys to be careful. A lot of things could happen to you. And you're both still young. You should have fun, not worry about those behind you." Dad was being dead serious. We had talked a lot about being careful in public. We try, when we remember, to be cautious and make sure we watch what we're doing.
"Aww, don't worry, Dad. I have Kade with me!" I beamed.
Dad nodded, which was surprising.
"If he could take on four guys and one with a weapon, I'm sure he could protect you, Zac, but I just don't want anything happening to you. I want you guys to promise me you won't get into fights unless your lives are at stake, like in Toronto." His voice didn't falter, and he held his stare like any parent would, reminding me of Jett's mom.
I turned to Kade, who shared my shocked expression. "How do you…"
"Zac, I'm not fucking sixty," Dad said with a curt smile. "Apparently, Kade showed up after you were all beaten, and chased your attackers away. Kayden managed to slip and cut himself on some sharp metal, right? That's what you boys told the police, right? I know it's total bullshit."
I felt my heart race. I knew I couldn't outsmart Dad, but this totally sucked ass.
"I know you boys said that so things wouldn't get worse for you. I'm glad you did, I wouldn't want some gang coming down on my boys. Let me clarify, Zac -- Jett, Shin, Scott and Kayden are also my boys, just so you don't get confused."
"But, how… " Kayden started.
Dad sat back and crossed his arms. "You expect me to believe some gang beat Zac, Shin and Scott, but when you showed up, they ran away?"
Kayden looked at me with some fear in his blue eyes. I tried to give him a comforting smile, but it wasn't working.
Dad continued, "Plus, I was talking to the doctor who bandaged your hand, Kade. He said no piece of rusted metal would make a clean cut like the one on your hand. He told me there was a knife involved."
Kayden and I sat in silence. We didn't dare try to correct him or make up anything else.
"I know you boys have your reasons, and they might be more simple or more complicated than I think. I doubt you wanted your parents involved, Kayden. How did you manage to hide that from them? I didn't even see them at the hospital."
Kayden looked a bit flustered. I didn't know what to do. Dad was just wondering about Kade's parents. I couldn't tell him to mind his own business.
"They were out of town. They don't know I went to Toronto to visit my aunt, so they also don't know about the knife."
"So there was a knife," Dad said, releasing a sigh.
"Yes, sir."
"What about your aunt?"
Kayden swallowed. "When I saw Zac run, I told her I forgot I was meeting someone. She lives close to the restaurant, so she didn't mind me leaving her like that. She also doesn't know."
I felt sick. Lies upon lies kept building up. If dad were to find out, it would make Kayden look really bad.
"So, you really don't want your parents knowing?" Dad asked.
"I'd prefer that, sir. They worry about me constantly. If they knew, they'd ship me off in a box to Antarctica or something."
I thought that was funny and Dad did, too. It made Kayden smile a bit.
"That's fine, I'll keep your secret. But call me 'sir' one more time and I'll beat you down with my T-square." Dad's T-square is this big ruler thingy that looks like a T. It's solid metal and heavy, used in his drafting projects, and could definitely hurt someone.
We all laughed again.
"Do your parents know about you two?" Dad asked.
Oh my God! Another lie…
"I don't get along with my parents, si- er, Mr. Hunter."
"Call me Kevin."
"Right, Kevin… I don't really tell them much. They're usually busy. They don't really know I'm around. It's better that way. They wouldn't understand," Kayden said sadly.
I didn't know if that was the truth or another lie. He looked seriously upset. Perhaps it had something to do with his running away in the first place.
"Sorry, Kade, I didn't realize," Dad said, getting up. He knelt in front of my angel and smiled at him. "If you ever need a place to escape to, this house will always be open to you. I'm hoping you get along with your parents. I really love mine, and they mean a lot to me. I can't understand how you might feel without that love. It's all right you don't get along with them, but try, son. God will know you made an effort."
Kayden nodded with his head downcast. I watched as a tear fell from his face.
"Kayden… is what you said about your parents true?" I asked when we went back to my room.
"Sort of," he said with a tight-mouthed expression. "It's… one of the reasons I had to run away, so it's not too far from the truth."
"I don't like this, Kade. You telling my dad these lies. If he found out…"
"He can't find out, Zac," he said nervously. "If he does, he might tell people. Sooner or later people will know I'm a runaway, that I'm a minor who owns property. They'll send me back, Zac!"
I took my love into my arms. "I'm sorry, Kade. I really don't know what your situation was back home. I hope one day you'll tell me. I really do love you. I want to be able to share your pain. But give my dad some credit. I'm sure he'd understand."
"I know, babe, but Rick told me in his will to be cautious. That's what I'm doing. I have to be eighteen to live alone. I can't legally own property, yet. Rick was my guardian, and he somehow took care of that with the children's aid. But it also said I'm living with his sister as my guardian. This sister doesn't exist, Zac. If I reach eighteen without being found out, I'm in the clear. If too many people know, I might be found out, and I'll be taken back. I can't go back there, Zac. I'll die!"
He was crying and I was hurting. I couldn't understand why he was so hurt. I didn't want him to be sad or afraid.
"I won't let you be taken away," I said fiercely.
I felt his lips on mine. I knew at this moment he needed my support. He needed to know I love him. He knows.
"I really want to tell you, but even now I'm… struggling."
"Shhh, it's okay," I whispered.
I don't care about his past. When he's ready, I know he'll tell me.
"But you know Jett knows about the knife, too. I don't think we can keep things from him much longer. They're all your friends, Kade. They'll understand."
"I know. I want to tell them, but I need to find the right time. I can't really walk up to them and say, 'Hey, guys! The reason you got the shit kicked outta you is because I was involved with some gangs when I was living in Toronto.'"
He was serious, but I couldn't help laughing. That got him started. With his head on my shoulder, we laughed.
I had a question in my head that I really had to ask. It had bothered me ever since I had found out Kade lives alone. "So, who pays for all the bills?"
"Rick had everything set up. It gets taken out of an account he has by another name. When I reach eighteen, I inherit it, but I also have to get into either a college or university to get it. I don't really care about the money, but I want to fulfill the plan he had for me."
He stepped back and sat on my bed. "The will said it would be enough to get a jumpstart on my life, and that I shouldn't worry, but just concentrate on my studies and be happy."
He stared at the floor, somewhat saddened. "He asked me in his will not to disappoint him. He said he knew I could make it; the rest was up to me. He had this all set up, like he knew his time was coming."
Kayden closed his eyes as tears dropped from his face. I crawled behind him and took him into my arms. He leaned back and we sat rather comfortably on my bed.
"He believed in you. It's amazing how far ahead he went in thinking about this."
"It's so typical of Rick, actually," Kayden smiled. "The house is full of whatever I will need. The lawyer had explicit orders to follow, and not question. The dude who showed me the will thought I was already living with my 'aunt'. He was totally clueless."
"Anyways, Rick opened up a bank account for me that gives me an allowance for food and supplies. The garage is full of stuff for gardening, like a trimmer and a lawn mower. There are even three different shovels. There's this cool bike, too. His will didn't mention anything about it, but I can't wait to get my M1 license early next year."
"That would be so cool!" I exclaimed. The M1 license will allow him to ride a motorcycle, but not carry passengers. Sixteen is the legal age to drive, but with the M1 license you can drive by yourself. It's better than the G1 that allows you to drive a car, but only with an adult who has a full license.
"What's sweet is that the waiting period to get the M2 license is only sixty days. So after that, I can get my M2, and drive you to school every day on my baby!" Kayden said, fully happy again.
I didn't realize how cool that would be. Even when kids are sixteen, they have to wait a whole year after getting their G1 to apply for their G2 which lets them drive by themselves and on the highways. We would have the luxury of travel that other kids our age wouldn't have. I was excited.
"Yeah, but that's only until I get my driving license, `cause then I'll have my own ride." I grinned.
"When's your birthday, again? Mine's January 14th." I knew he was playing, but it suddenly hit me I had to wait a good eleven months before getting my G1 license. Kayden had to wait for only two more months. I swore, knowing he had the advantage over me.
"We'd look a lot cooler on a Harley Davidson anyways, babe." He smiled.
I wrapped him in my arms as he chuckled and I thanked God I have someone as special as Kade.
***Kayden***
It was almost midnight when I left Zac's house. I would have stayed, but we both had lots of homework, and I wanted to go to Zac's swim meet on Sunday. If I slept over, we'd have stayed awake until four, talking or doing 'things'. Then we wouldn't have waked up until the next afternoon. I knew if I stayed over we would get no work done, so I decided to sacrifice.
I was still thinking about what I had said to Mr. Hunter. I hate the lies I have to create. There's no other way, though. I realized, when Zac told me, that when I finally tell people the truth, they might be angry. A lot of what I've told people has been a fabrication, yet I know it had to be done. That, or go back to the hellhole I escaped from. I had sworn I'd never return, and I meant it.
At that moment as I walked through the park with single lamps illuminating my path, I felt angry. I was enraged. I hated myself for deceiving people.
I can't even tell the one I trust most my past… Why the fuck is it so hard? Do I just want people not knowing what I did? Yeah… I just want to forget everything… forget what I did, forget what I caused…
"Now this is what I'm talking about!" a voice echoed behind me.
I turned around and felt like crying. Ted and two of his cronies were right behind me.
"Fucking amazing to meet you here, new guy." He smiled treacherously at me.
"The name is Kayden. Don't forget it… dumbass."
I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't want to fight them! Why was I provoking them?
"You little fucker… " he sneered, but suddenly smiled again. "Looks like you're alone. None of your friends can help you now."
His two friends laughed behind him. Both had been there when Ted had tripped me that morning.
"You're right," I said with total calmness. "Good for me… I'm really pissed right now. Too bad for you they're not here to interfere."
I started losing myself again. Unintended words were flying out of my mouth. I didn't want to fight them. Why was I doing this?
"Y- you're really fucked up…" the boy in front of me shouted. "What the fuck are you on? You think you can win when there are three of us and only one of you? Don't underestimate us, faggot!"
"Maybe you're getting soft…" Mai's voice echoed in my head.
I stepped forward, completely aware what I was doing, yet unable to stop myself.
"The name is Kayden… and you won't forget it."
END OF CHAPTER 1
Hey guys! How's that for a new chap release. I hope this is as good as my other chapters. I decided to make each chapter longer. I used to make every chapter about 10 pages long, this was 19^^. I'll keep writing until I think the next chapter is done, so that's good for you. Each chapter will be almost double what it used to be, so that's your bonus. It might take a bit more to edit, but I'll still release chapters regularly, so no loss in your part. It's all gain^^. Anyways, oooo, Kayden, what the f*** is wrong with you man? Hehe. Stay tuned buds, next chap to follow, in a bit^^ Tell me what you think about this new installment. Latez. Remember it's Ryan_Kayden@yahoo.ca
Special thanks to Aaron of www.themailcrew.com. The dude is gold. He makes these stories near perfect with his great editing skills. Cheerz guys^^.