Being Greg free for the first time since Friday evening was a relief. I knew Greg was high maintenance but yielded a minimum on the return side. While my affection for him had grown as I’d watched him healing. My feelings for him were changing. I was only going to go so far and then I’d reevaluate my options.
I wanted to help him readjust to some kind of a life at home. I was in no hurry to see what it would get me. Greg didn’t seem to be that influenced by people who did what he wanted. He had an expectation that people would do that. I’m not sure he understood why they did.
I wanted something to develop between us, but with his attitude, I wasn’t sure what. I’d never felt so deeply for anyone before. It was difficult to understand what I did feel and what I wanted to come out of it. The situation was constantly changing now and I’d take my time making decisions about Greg.
It was a cool Sunday evening and that was a refreshing change. It was still summer and the heat of midday was oppressive. Add Greg to the heat and everyone was sweating big time. Being with him was exciting and leaving him at the hospital gave me some time to myself.
Watching him smiling while getting what he wanted was nice, but he wore me out. The mixture of feelings he left me with kept me off balance. It wasn’t like he could do a lot on his own and he hadn’t asked me to turn over his care to Herbie yet.
Greg wanted to survive his rehabilitation and Herbie wasn’t the one to depend on if he wanted to do it successfully. Herbie was a big child, not unlike Greg, but two big kids together don’t add up to much responsibility.
I was satisfied with his willingness to give me what he thought I was there after. It came with a truth that I couldn’t deny, but the whole truth was in what Greg wanted, and he wanted the attention I gave him. That attention came in many forms, Greg mostly noticed one.
My desire ran deep when he gave me access to his body with lusting in his mind. The restrictions were off after all this time. He didn’t say what he wanted but once the pajamas came off, he knew he wasn’t going to be ignored. I got everything I wanted. Well not everything, but enough to keep my mind from wandering.
After two days with Greg I was exhausted. I worried about taking responsibility for him. I worried about him hurting himself, while I was supposed to be keeping an eye on him. I worried about going too far or not far enough. I worried he’d get tired of me.
To tell the truth I was happy to have a break. The boy wore me out, but shortly after I left him behind, I was thinking about when we’d be together again. I was a mess.
On Monday I made my usual trip over to the hospital after work. Greg was sleeping soundly when I got there. The nurses said he’d slept most of the day. He’d been out for two days and that was probably a lot for someone who hadn’t been out of bed in six months. I sat beside him but he didn’t move. I left when I was sure he wasn’t going to wake up. I headed for my car.
Work was working out well for me. I got along with all the women in my office. They treated me well. I was pretty much free to do anything I wanted, after pulling the files they needed to do the day’s work. When they stacked the files back on my desk, they had to be filed by the end of the day, so they’d be available for the next day’s work.
As work went, it was easy and the people were pleasant. If I had to work this was fine for the time being. I wasn’t sure what I would end up doing or what I was suited to do. For now filing was fine. In time I’d move on to things that were more appealing. I was in no hurry.
At eighteen I wasn’t sure of much, but I had to work if I wanted to eat. I couldn’t fail at what I was doing, so there was no pressure on me. The longer I worked the more comfortable I became with my routine.
I had a routine five days a week. The routine at work was followed by the daily trek to go up and see Greg. Work was five minutes from the hospital, so I was sitting beside Greg by fifteen after five. I usually stayed until eight. I ate dinner with Greg.
It was so routine that Lee began to meet me on my way in or out. His schedule gave him time between patients. He was free to do what he wanted as long as he was on time for his appointments and left his patients smiling.
Lee was different from anyone else I’d known. Which wasn’t so different as Greg. Lee was totally comfortable with himself. He knew what he liked and he didn’t pretend to be anything but what he was. The kind of sexual relationships he said he had wasn’t anything I wanted to experience.
At nineteen Lee was no hornier than Greg was, but Lee had gone out to find sex wherever it happened to be. He didn’t like being alone. When he was too young in my mind, he was out looking for affection. The best way not to be alone was to find someone to spend time with and so he did.
Lee was Lee and that was fine with me. He didn’t know anyone local. Being with plenty of guys in the military didn’t solve his problem of loneliness. Looking for affection and the attention he wanted were good ways to be put out of the military. It wasn’t the place love was supposed to flourish.
I really hadn’t been that close to many people since I was twelve. That was about the time the boys I grew up with were becoming interested in girls. As I grew up I maintained a certain distance from most people, until there was Greg.
Meeting Greg shook up that trend. I didn’t just want to know him. I needed to know him. The power of the reaction he set off inside me was something I’d never experienced before. I didn’t expect him to be anything like he was. His friends were even more baffling to me. Did they react to him the same way I did? Did their familiarity with one another result from their proximity to each other over an extended period of time while in a foreign country?
Each of them were as different as night and day, but they did fit together in some strange sexually charged secret society that depended on each other. Some seemed more responsive to Greg than the others but in spite of the forbidden nature of their game, they came back for more.
I could see these things the night the night at the party I attended. I’d had my baptism when Greg took me home alone. He knew where it would go before it went anywhere, but there was still something out of control about what he’d allowed me to do. I knew that because Doug told me. Greg was very careful without how far he’d let someone go.
Doug was so much like Greg, but completely different. Doug was gentle and sensitive. He knew everything about what was going on but he didn’t feel like it was his job to explain Greg’s extreme appetite to others. He didn’t have any explanation for me, but what did he need to say when he caught me with Greg.
If everyone of these boys were different. Herbie was from another planet all together. He wasn’t like the rest of the boys I’d seen but didn’t really know. I didn’t know Herbie either, but he spent all his time with his hand in Greg’s pajamas.
I know it wasn’t all the time but it was a lot of the time. He made it look natural. How many other boys did Herbie practice this technique with? Greg did say he thought Herbie was spending too much time with Doug, which might explain why he didn’t have time to come to the hospital.
The other boys came to Greg’s pool games for their own reason. I didn’t think any of them worried about being exposed as one of Greg’s admirers. From the watchers to the doers, they didn’t look uncomfortable to me. When Tony had looked like he had gone as far as he was willing to go, he got dressed and left. It was all too complicated for me.
Greg, Herbie, and Doug came from the same source, but none was like the other. Doug was a copy of Greg. Greg was flawed, not quite perfect, and he suffered from the excess of attention his good looks got him. His open display of sexuality and lack of modesty got him another kind of attention among the boys he grew up with.
Doug had no flaws. His face was a perfect construct. Greg was the prototype, Doug was perfection. Doug’s skin was slightly more gold than Greg’s skin. Doug’s hair was slightly more blond. Doug’s body was more precisely proportioned from what I could see. Greg was taller and broader, but not necessarily evenly proportioned.
Neither of them was going to be lonely from what I could see. Then I thought of their mother and what a gorgeous woman she was. I’d never seen a better looking mother. I began to feel a little left out. Neither of my parents were all that attractive. I hoped I faired better as I aged. I’d have to work on it to be sure.
Greg stood alone as the hottest guy I’d ever known. Greg with Doug and Herbie circulating around them, creating a universe all their own. When all was said and done, these three stayed on after everyone else was gone. After six months of experience and conversation, these conclusions were well developed by the time I had Lee to wonder about.
The other boys got what they were looking for by exposing themselves to Greg’s gravitational pool. It still was a game I couldn’t explain. I imagined that being overseas together created a dependence on each other. Greg had the strongest personality and was easy to follow. As they grew up together they grew closer. When they returned to the States, old habits were hard to break. They still trusted one another and stuck together to get what they needed.
Lee had experiences that ran through the colleges and the truck stops of Texas. I wouldn’t think of such places as being hot beds of sex, but apparently there was a lot of that going on behind the scenes.
Lee went where he could find what he was looking for. I had nothing to go on but his description. He was completely different from anyone I’d seen around Greg, but Greg didn’t hesitate taking advantage of Lee’s interest in the body he bathed.
It tended to validate what Lee said about his past. He wasn’t bashful when it came to getting what he wanted, while I was watching them. He liked Greg and had enough experience to give him what he wanted besides the bath.
Lee decided I was safe for him to be friends with and on his days off he met me to see the sights when I had time to take him around. He talked about his past that went back as far as Greg’s if not further.
Lee left me feeling as if I was retarded in the sexual sciences. Nothing ever happened to me until I met Greg. If I judged Lee too harshly, I might need to look at Greg more closely. I liked what I had and didn’t want to think of Greg as anything but the hunk I love. While Greg and Lee arrived at their destination on different roads, they did end up at the same place at the same time. What they did about it wasn’t unexpected as far as I could see.
“You aren’t retarded, Martin. You live in the sticks and sex is kept behind closed doors. When you live around truck stops and college campuses, well, if you’re horny, those are places where there are people who want to solve that problem for you. I was the kind of boy who wanted in on a good time. It came natural to me. Give me a beer and I was born to fool around.”
“You weren’t worried? What about the crazies who are out there?”
“I’m sure there are crazies, but I never met one. The crazy dude’ll come and get you if he wants you. You aren’t likely to find one at college or the local truck stop. You have any truck stops around here? Truckers are good people. They’ve been around. They know stuff.”
“There’s one down in Brandywine. Just a small one. Maybe ten or twelve trucks overnight. There’s no restaurant but there’s one next door,” I explained.
“The 76 in Denton is big. They had stores, a big restaurant, showers, and a television room. Must be a hundred trucks there most days at night even more. All you have to do is walk out in the lot and someone will start talking to you.
When I worked at the 76, I met guys from all over the country. They might be there for a few hours or a night. Then They’re on the road again. They want a little company before they go. Gets lonely being on the road by yourself all the time. I’d just ask if they needed a little something before they left. You’d be surprised how many said yes.”
“I’d be afraid of that,” I said. “You just ask someone that?”
“Nothing to be afraid of. I liked talking to them. These guys had been like everywhere. They liked that I listened to their stories. I was thrilled to know one of them wanted me. I’d never been anywhere or done anything back then. I had big ideas though.
“I wanted to go everywhere. That’s why I joined up. The guys in the military are not as friendly as truckers, but you get stationed at places like this and I meet people like you.”
“I guess when you’re obligated to follow orders, it changes your perspective,” I said.
“That’s for sure. I’d never mess around with anyone in my barracks. Don’t think I’d trust anyone that much.”
“Do you need to fool around everywhere you are?” I asked, still trying to figure out the ground rules.
“I don’t guess I do. If I don’t, and I’m lonely, what good does that do me? Fooling around means not being lonely,” Lee calculated as he spoke. “Once you do full around, it’s not so easy to quit.”
“It means not being alone. Once you do it, do you stop being lonely?”
“You ask too many questions. That’s why they made so many guys. You can’t get lonely with so many guys. For the time being I’m not lonely. For the time being I’m not alone. You’re with me. Fooling around is for when I’m not out with someone I don’t fool around with.”
“That makes sense,” I said.
“Greg said to get you to show me his house the next time we went out,” Lee said.
“He did? When?”
“Last night. Maybe the night before.”
“You’ve seen him?” I asked.
“Ten every night. He’s on my schedule for the next two weeks. One sponge bath, 10 p.m.”
“You don’t mind if I make sure he said it is OK,” I said.
“What, you think I’m going over there to molest the boy. Can’t rape the willing, Martin. I don’t need to lie to you. Ask him and he’ll tell you, just like I said. I don’t mind.”
“Cool,” I said. “I don’t want to be doing stuff he gets pissed off about. If he tells me it’s different than you telling me.”
“I won’t be able to get over there without you,” he said. “You’re the only wheels I’ve got. No one I know can afford a car.”
“It’s really not all that far. You could walk it in half-an-hour, maybe forty-five minutes if you go out the back gate. Do you do him every night?” I asked.
“During the week. Oh, you mean do I… No, in fact the night after he came back from his pass, he just wanted to sleep. I bathed him and he didn’t even get hard. That’s a first. He’s usually way ahead of me. I don’t need to touch him for it to be hard.”
“Sounds like Greg,” I said.
*****
It was the following evening when I was with Greg the next time. He was back to his old self and even therapy each day wasn’t wearing him out. When he saw me, he was all smiles. No one was that good an actor. Seeing me made him happy. If he was happy I was happy.
There were two dumbbells on the table beside his bed along side his water pitcher. They looked like seven or eight pounds. He used them a couple of times while I was there. He didn’t have a lot to say but we’d talked all weekend.
“Want to feel my muscle?” he asked.
“You didn’t get enough this weekend?”
“Not that muscle. My arm muscle. Feel it,” he said, making a muscle.
“Nice,” I said.
“Hard,” he said.
“Yes,” I said, and I didn’t take the bait. “Very nice.”
“I’m a stud,” he bragged, smiling broadly.
“Saw Lee last night, after I left,” I said.
“Ah, that’s why I didn’t get my usual service last night. You had him. We’ll need to talk about that,” Greg said smiling. “I wasn’t in the mood. I hope you weren’t.”
“No. Lee’s just a friend. He says I should show him your house. I said I had to ask you before I’d show him.”
“Good man, Martin. Yeah, you can show him. He won’t be a problem. I figure to set him up with Herbie. My mom says Herbie has been coming over a lot to see Doug. I think Bobby-Lee would be just the ticket for Horny Herbie, don’t you?”
“Your plan not mine. I think Lee has high hopes for you,” I said. “He likes you. Herbie’s a bit weird.”
“He’s cool, but I don’t aim on dating the guy. You think he’d like Herbie?”
“I don’t know Herbie that well. I don’t know Lee that well. I suppose they could hit it off. I’d say Doug is more Lee’s type. Then, you’d have Herbie and Lee both after Doug.”
“I’ll tell Doug no. They both like me. They should like each other,” he said. “That’s how I see it.”
“There is that,” I said. “You want me to come and get you right after work Friday?” I asked, wanting the plan.
“Unless you have a date. Not so many guys coming up this weekend. Doug will be staying home. He said he wanted to say hello. He wondered why you hadn’t come by. My brother likes anyone who likes me. It’s in his genes.”
“I come up here,” I said. “Not a lot of time left once I leave you.”
“No, and we should keep it that way, don’t you think? Herbie keeps him busy but he knows Herbie’s a dick hound.”
“I like Doug. I think about him from time to time. What’s wrong with Herbie going over to see Doug.”
“Doug was staying away from Herbie. While I was there all the time it was easy to keep Doug with his teenie booper buddies. With me gone, Herbie’s back to fooling around with my little brother.”
“I don’t understand. Isn’t that what you guys do?” I asked.
“Doug’s a little young for Herbie to be messing with all the time.”
“Wait a minute. Doug was with Herbie when he found the German boys. That had to be a while ago. Doug is way older now,” I said. “Herbie’s a year younger than you. That makes him the same age as Doug. He’s not that old,” I said, figuring it out as I went along.
“He’s too young for my brother than. Have it your way. I don’t like him doing to Doug what he did to me. He’s on my dick all the time.”
“You could tell him no.”
“Not so easy as you think it sounds. I like it. I don’t want Doug to like it. He’ll get to be as warped as I am.”
“You’re warped?”
“Whatever I am, I don’t want Doug following in my footsteps. He’s almost normal, which is a miracle since he lives with me.”
“Because you want it all the time,” I said. “Herbie’s responsible because you don’t tell him no? I think if you didn’t encourage him, he would keep doing it,” I said. “Herbie doesn’t look very assertive beside you.”
“Some guys aren’t equipped to say no. It’s a challenge. How many times in a day, a night, a week. With someone like Herbie around, it’s a lot. I don’t want Doug to be like me. He can take it or leave it. He isn’t all that horny, but if someone is at you all the time. It changes things.”
“Makes sense. Doug’s down to earth. I got the impression he knows everything about what goes on but isn’t all that interested.”
“I’m not down to earth? I’m hurt. Doug lives in the same house with me. How could he not know what’s going on? He also knows to steer his buddies clear of my buddies.”
“No. You are not down to earth. You don’t even come close to getting down to earth. You’re out there a ways compared to most people. You sound like you care about Doug. I didn’t get that sense before.”
“I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or an insult. I do love my brother.”
“Doug might like Lee. Lee’s a pretty attractive guy,” I said. “There’s a lot more there than you get with Herbie.”
“Lee’s like everyone else. I’ll keep him busy and get him to keep Herbie busy. Problem solved. I know what I’m doing.”
“I’ll keep Doug busy,” I said.
“I trust you not to do him any harm. I doubt Lee would but he does know his business,” Greg said.
“Yeah, he can make short work of big business,” I said.
“Oh, yes he can. Boys got talent. I’m surprised that doesn’t upset you,” Greg said, looking at me closely.
“I can’t do what he does. I need practice,” I said.
“I know just where you can get it,” Greg said smiling wide.
“I was thinking the same thing. Good teachers are hard to find.”
“I suppose. I don’t get many complaints, but you don’t need all that much practice. I don’t have any complaint. You have a certain knack of knowing how to get my juices going.”
“Thank you. That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“Is not. I say nice stuff all the time,” Greg said.
“Like what?”
“Help me get my pajamas off,” he said still smiling. “I say that a lot.”
“That’s nice too,” I said, smiling back.
“Just the way I feel about it. It’s hard to beat help,” he said.
“Depends on what you’re beating,” I said.
“You’re bad, Martin. You turn everything into a conversation about sex. I was being nice.”
“Very nice,” I said.