Discovering Love

Chapter 12
Time Is on My Side

Greg and I entered a new period that suited me fine. He acted like he was happy to see me and sorry when I got up to leave. I would have stayed but I didn’t want to get thrown out after visiting hours ended.

I came the same time each day, and as soon as I entered his ward, his eyes were on me. As quick as I sat down the curtain was pulled to exclude everyone in the small world where Greg lived but me.

With the privacy came a more complete view of Greg. The sheet that had always stood between him and glory before, was almost nonexistent now. He left it up to me where I wanted to put my eyes and for how long.

Greg also became more graphic about his past and his status. At first I was sure it was his way to keep me coming back. Some of the most graphic descriptions of his encounter with the German boys came right away, but then he began to discuss his thoughts, frame of mind, and excitement level at the time of his encounters.

It was like he was searching for the reasons why he was the way he was. Herbie took a lot of the blame as the instigator of all the sexual stuff. The two of them had almost always had a sexual element to their friendship.

Even though Herbie took a hit for getting Greg involved in sexual pleasure, Greg regarded himself as Herbie’s protector and friend. They were obviously close and I’d seen it at the party, except Herbie ended up with Doug, which opened a different door. I also remember Greg coming into the television room with us that night, disappearing later.

Greg remained in his hospital bed as I lived my life. He was the most exciting part of it, but that was for two hours each evening and Saturday and Sunday afternoons. I finished going to high school and then graduated. I passed my Civil Service examination.

Answering a request for employees, I went to civilian personnel and put in my application. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I was on base every day and I figured applying for a job was a good idea.

The woman giving me my first interview was the boss of civilian personnel division. I was a little worried that one of the regular workers hadn’t taken my information. She was very professional with her questioning.

Apparently the woman in charge had seen me coming. What started out as a regular interview process, turned into me being interviewed for a job at civilian personnel. They were looking for a file clerk and I was the first candidate to interview for the job.

My first interview turned out to be a charm, and I went to work at civilian personnel the following week. While school didn’t interest me all that much, I did what was necessary to get by. Going to college was never something I pictured myself doing. Being trapped in classes for another four years wasn’t going to happen.

The job was almost too easy. There were stacks of files to be filed and lists of filed to be pulled. I was both the filer and the puller. All the employees were women and they were all nice to me. The job didn’t require anything but a working knowledge of the alphabet and the ability to be pleasant and not dawdle when one of the clerks wanted a file.

I never envisioned work being easier than school, but not only was it easier, it was fun and the clerks treated me like they were happy with my work. Whether it was sharpening pencils or retrieving ink pens or legal pads, I was on the job.

I had to be at work at eight in the morning. I had forty-five minutes for lunch, whenever I wanted to take it, as long as piles of files weren’t waiting for me. Going home time was five, or in my case going to the hospital time. I was sitting beside Greg’s bed by ten after five. My civilian personnel employee sticker got me on and off the base.

At lunch time I drove the five minutes to the hospital and I spent a half an hour with Greg. He was delighted that I came to have lunch with him, and there was always food for me and nurses to welcome me to C ward. I began to believe Greg really liked me.

Greg laid in the hospital and my life went on around him. I don’t know if this caused him any problems. He was seeing me doing what he should have been doing, but he wasn’t. In fact, he’d been there for months, and he didn’t complain. It was what it was. He didn’t make it into anything it wasn’t.

I don’t know I could have handled it as well as he did. He had become more cheerful, more friendly, and happier to see me. We were almost immediately talking about one thing or another, and I enjoyed being with him.

If he’d developed feeling for me, I couldn’t tell. I’m sure he felt good that someone was there to cut into the boredom, but I don’t know it ran deeper than that. He may have suspected I was in love with him.

What was once an invitation to be used for his pleasure, became a source of pleasure without him being able to use me. Oh, I thought about being used more, and it appealed to me, but not there. Only a piece of cloth stood between us and the rest of the ward. It was too little for my taste.

The work-a-day world was interesting to say the least, but I couldn’t wait for lunch, when I took Greg whatever fast food he’d requested, and at dinner, when he returned the favor and fed me. It added a new wrinkle to our friendship. It made him happy.

Somehow, when I wasn’t looking, and while my mind was elsewhere, Greg and I did become friends. It wasn’t me wanting him kind of friendship any longer, or him wanting me to want him friendship. It was a good to see you, what’s up at work, and what’s happening out there kind of friendship. It was like any friendship, when I had never had many friends. Greg had become one.

I suppose it began developing while I wasn’t there. When I came back, it was different. I thought Greg’s confessions about his German sexual connection, and exposing himself, were things he saw would keep me coming back for more. It may have been his way of trying to be friends.

I came back each day, even more often than before. If it started as his attempt to give me something to come back for, it mellowed into the glad to see you attitude that developed. He did confessed his sexual sins. He was open about his desire, and thoughts, making sure I knew how he felt about it by giving me easy viewing of the erection he grew when the talk turned sexual. He liked telling me about how the German boys related to him sexually.

I remembered the old Greg. I was certain he’d ditch me as quick as he was freed from the hospital. I encouraged him to spill every sorted detail about his earliest sexual exploits, figuring I’d have some neat memories.

Greg must have been ready to do more than use people and take advantage of what they’d do for him. I’m not saying he didn’t have the same dirty mind, but he was nicer about it. Being with him was more fun as time went on. I’d miss him when he was back on his feet.

My presence was all it took. We no longer needed to dig into the details of what Greg did to the German boys or what mad him do it. He’d developed a sexual appetite before he’d developed a natural resistance to liking it. Herbie opened the door and Greg didn’t mind walking through if it felt good.

I suppose we started relating to one another sexually before there was anything else. I wanted to go there and Greg wanted me to go there. Now that was at the bottom of how we saw one another. I couldn’t look at him without getting hot and having sexual thoughts, and he couldn’t look at me without remembering how it felt to have me working on him.

There was no one else and while he was denied for the first time in his life, my presence was a constant reminder that satisfaction was but a little bit away for both of us. He was always working on a way to get what he wanted from me, and I resisted the idea of doing it there. It wasn’t a matter of what to do, but a matter of when to do it.

Exposing himself to me was part of the deal. He didn’t want me to forget what I wanted, and I couldn’t miss what he had to offer. No matter where we were in a conversation or what else was on our mind, when he trust his thumb under the head, pushing it straight up, there was going to be a pause as I examined it and he examined me examining it.

It was just there. I knew it and he knew I knew it, but he wanted to make certain I didn’t forget I could reach for it any time I liked. The new openness and lack of embarrassment or shame made it enjoyable. I couldn’t make myself give into what he wanted, and he’d begun to accept it, but not enough to forget about trying to tempt me. Keeping me aroused was part of what he did.

Allowing him to keep me excited wasn’t beyond my less than wholesome side. I would be wholesome as long as I didn’t feel safe giving him what he wanted. It was no longer me wanting him, or him wanting me to want him, it was being together, liking it, and the wanting made it better.

It was summer and we could open the window so some of the outdoors came inside. Greg could hear the cars on the street and people talking below his window. The stale hospital air was replaced with the fragrance of summer.

Greg wanted out of there in a big way. I brought him a pizza, after I cashed my first paycheck and he decided to stay. I thought he’d propose after he took the first bite.

The nurses smiled and said hello every time I came into the wing. They knew I liked ginger ale and root beer and all I had to do was ask and they delivered me a drink with a class of ice.

The nurses were fond of Greg, but not when he acted up. Once I’d stayed away and then returned, Greg had been manageable. Once he realized that he depended on them and me, his attitude changed. Maybe he was growing up. Maybe he just figured things out and he wasn’t the center of the universe. He wasn’t even at the center of his own world.

I’m sure the nurses understood how difficult it was on a boy like Greg to be strung up on a ward for six months. By the time summer began, there was talk of the leg that was in traction being put into a cast. Greg talked about it every day for a week. They said, ‘soon,’ which could mean sometime in the next month or two.

The cast came off his right leg. He could swing the leg off the bed once. The first day after it came off, he had the sheet covering up the entire leg. It was usual hardly coving any of him anymore. I was suspicious of the cover up.

I didn’t think anything of it, until I sat down. He put his leg in my lap.

“It’s off,” I squealed, almost as delighted as he was.

“It’s off. I’m getting out of here soon. They’ll put the other leg in a cast and this place is history.”

“Yeah, and you’ll fall down the steps and get your ass right back in here again if you’re not careful,” I reminded him.

“Yes, but you’ll be keeping me from falling down,” he said, smiling at me. “I ain’t no fool. You’ll keep me safe.”

“Okay, you talked me into it, but I’ve got to work. I can’t slip out to rescue your ass every twenty minutes,” I said.

“You know where I live. You can come over after work. My folks won’t mind. They already love you for keeping me from going insane.”

“Sane?” I said. “You’re crazy as a bedbug.”

“After six months in this bed, I’d be crazy not to be crazy. You do keep me sane, you know. I don’t know what shape I’d be in without you.”

“I was just walking by. It was the least I could do,” I said, not sold on the idea of him being set free and no longer depending on me as his only companion.

I loved Greg more than ever. Being with him took up a big chunk of my life. Things couldn’t have worked out better for me to be able to spend a maximum of time with Greg, but it was coming to an end. Change was coming and I had no idea what form it would take.

It was difficult to imagine how we’d rearrange things so I still spend all my free time with him. Then there were the things he’d want to do with his time that he’d been unable to do for months on end. I was his best friend and constant companion here and now, but how long before he realized he didn’t need me anymore.

“How do you feel?” I asked.

“Like a new man. The knee doesn’t bend so well. It needs some work. The physical therapy people will come up at ten each morning. I’ll have to get up early I guess,” he said. “I’m use to getting up in time to have lunch with you.”

“You don’t,” I said.

“What do you think there is to do around here? Sleep is my best thing. Eating is good. I have breakfast and rest up until lunch. What a life.”

Greg smiled and moved his leg out of my lap.

“Oh, I’m getting a cramp. Oh, man, rub my thigh,” he pleaded, grabbing his leg, looking like he was in agony.

Immediately it was back in my lap. I began rubbing on his thigh just above the knee.

“Higher,” he said, leaning over toward me so his thigh was right under my nose.

I used both hands and massaged deeper as he moaned and twisted almost off the bed.

“Higher,” he moaned, and I rubbed higher.

As he pushed himself on one arm, I was at the top of his thigh and immediately found the problem. It was standing straight up and the next time he turned it was pressing on the back of my hand.

“Just a little of that for my dick. It’s cramped and it isn’t the least bit out of your way. Man, is it cramped. I’m dying here, Martin. I need someone to make me feel like I’m alive,” he said, leaning closer to me, using his fingers to push his hot dick against my hand.

Wrapping my fingers around the shaft, I squeezed gently at first. I could feel the steel that was his erection. He responded by pushing it hard against my hand as he twisted closer to me.

“Oh, yeah! I’m going to blow a gasket. Squeeze hard,” he pleaded. “Oh, man, harder. Harder. Squeeze me.”

“Be quiet,” I said.

“I can’t help it. You don’t know how good it feels.”

In the position we were in I could give him a lot of help. I didn’t mind at all. His reaction to my handiwork excited me no end. Squeezing for all I was worth, feeling him quivering in my hand. My big worry was that I’d make a mess in my pants.

“Oh!” he said loudly. “Yeah.”

“Greg, hush!” I said, stopping to listen.

“Don’t quit,” he said alarmed.

I still squeezed, giving him a couple of strokes for good measure. He lay back on the bed, covering his head with his pillow and screaming into it. I felt him vibrating and doing his best to muffle his lusty noise.

The sheet was off him completely and he was naked. I had his dick standing straight up in my hand. I squeezed to enjoy the power it gave me over him. He leaned up to watch my hand working on him. He had begun to sweat and he held my wrist as I squeezed.

“Oh, man. I’m dying. Do something,” he pleaded. “Anything you want.”

“Not here,” I said, wanting to shower it with kisses. “You’re too loud.”

It was easy to keep going, but I was too excited to listen for someone coming our way. It just wasn’t smart and if they didn’t hear him moaning, they’d gone death. I had to stop.

“You’re killing me,” he said. “Just a little more. Pleeeeease!”

“Greg,” I said with no give in my voice. “I’ve given you all you’re going to get today. Everyone heard you.”

He put his hands over his eyes and I felt the warm liquid leaking onto my fingers. I squeezed and he moaned, but he didn’t move. I studied his body and after months in the hospital, he was still beautiful, but I wasn’t getting him off there. It was too rich for my blood.

“See if you can get Herbie to come up. He’ll do it,” Greg said, unhappy with me. “He’ll do anything I ask him to do.”

“Why hasn’t he come up?” I asked.

“Claims he doesn’t do hospitals. He’s fooling around with my brother. Doug told me he’s been over a lot.”

“Doug?” I asked.

“Herbie’s always been hot for Doug. Says he’s hot. My brother hot? Give me a break. He’s a squirt.”

“Your brother is hot, but how does Herbie know that?” I said.

“Herbie’s crazy. I told you. He’d do his brother for a cigarette. He’d do his father for a cigarette.”

“Well, if I see him, I’ll mention you want him to give you a hand. He’ll figure out why.”

It was ten to eight when the last call came. They announced visitors should leave by eight. Greg and I were in mid stare as I stood, I slid the chair out of my way. I stood with my thighs pressing against his mattress.

“Nice to see you,” he said, and he took my hand as if we were going to shake on it.

“Yeah, nice seeing you,” I said, and his hand was against the front of my pants and my erection rubbed against his knuckles as he gave me his biggest smile.

“Thanks,” I said.

“Thank you,” he said, moving our hands down so the back of my hand brushed his balls as we continued smiling.

“Got to go. See you tomorrow,” I said.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“I’ll be here. Don’t go anywhere.”

“No chance of that. Thanks for coming up, Martin,” he said as I disappeared past the cloth at the foot of his bed.

I half way expected everyone to be looking down toward Greg’s bed, but no one paid any attention to my departure.

I heard him toss back the divider as I was walking out of the ward, but I didn’t look back. It was already like a scene out of some sleazy movie, I didn’t need any applause or a symphony to play me out at the end of the ward.

“You come on back to see that boy, you hear?” a nurse said as I passed. “We can use the help.”

“Yes, ma’am, we can,” another nurse said.

It was nice to be needed. There weren’t going to be a lot of days left. If they were talking about taking him out of traction, he’d go in a cast and be ready to get out of the hospital before the sun went down.

The jury was out on what that meant for me. Greg would be able to go back to his parties and pool. I could hang around or not. I’d miss him if it was not. I really liked Greg. I wasn’t ready to give him up yet. There were still a lot of things I wanted to do. I knew I could. I didn’t know if I would. It was all up to him.

PART 2