September 1, 1987

Dear Journal,

Well, this is my first entry. I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to write, but here it is anyway.

I got you from my Dad and Matt (Matt is my Dad's husband). My Mom moved to California when I was only a baby. I guess that made my Dad swear off women all together. Anyway, today is my 14th birthday, and my Dad said that if I kept a journal, maybe it would help me clear my thoughts and be less depressed. What I really should tell him is that I am not depressed because of anything other than that I miss my friends and my old school.
Vermont is so fucking boring. There's nothing to do up here. I liked it better in Baltimore where all I had to do was go outside and all my friends were right there.

I got some hiking gear too. That might be cool at least I can finally look around. We've been here for almost a month and I have only really seen probably a tenth of the 50-acre piece of land my Dad and Matt own. I like the orchards because the apples are always good. I guess in the city you don't realize how far the orchards are and how apples taste right off the tree. That part of being here is cool.

I'm gonna go to sleep now. School starts in a week.

September 5, 1987

Hi Journal,

I got my hiking stuff on and went our for a walk around the land we have now. It actually is pretty cool. There's a lot of animals around here that I never saw before. I never really spent any time alone out in the woods and I never heard a place so quiet. My Dad was saying that in a few weeks the leaves are going to start changing and it will be really pretty. I don't know how seeing a forest full of dying leaves could be pretty but I guess I will have to wait and see.

I went for the first time down to the end of the property where our closest neighbors live. I met them when we first moved in but really don't see them much. I realized that their house is only about 50 feet or so from the fence that divides out land and there is a barn there that has a couple horses. They have pigs and chickens and cows and all kinds of other animals. I never really went to a real farm before. Once you get used to the smell I guess it can be pretty cool.

They have a little lake on their land with a dock and a small boat. My Dad said that Mr. Bristol (the guy who owns the farm) said that sometime we can go out on the boat and fish with them. He said that in the summer its pretty fun to go swimming too. I wish we had a pool like our condo did in Baltimore, but I guess swimming in the lake can be fun. I wonder if bass bite people.

School starts tomorrow. I'm nervous. I think I'm gonna wear my new hiking shoes because they look cool on me. So, now I'm gonna spank off and go to sleep.

September 12, 1987

Yo, journal.

School has been very cool. I can't believe I was so nervous. All the kids are pretty mellow, and there's even a couple of other guys who have gay parents like me. I was scared to death to tell anyone back home because you could get beat up for that shit. But here its okay. I guess there are a lot of couples like my Dads here.

Matt picked me up from school today and said that Mr. Bristol was asking if I could help his son Andrew pick the apples from the little orchard they have on their farm. Their orchard isn't as big as ours, but they seem to get a shitload more apples off their trees than we do. So when we got home I changed out of my school clothes into a pair of jeans and my South of the Border t-shirt. I put on my old sneakers too because I don't want to ruin my cool new ones.

I got to the Bristol farm and got to meet the Bristol kids. The oldest was their daughter Margie who is 22 and in college, and then their youngest son Todd who I guess is about 3. Their middle son is Kevin, who I was gonna help with the apples. He's 17 and goes to my school, but I never remember seeing him there. That's probably because he's a senior and I'm only a freshman. He's a really good-looking guy, really tall and lean but definitely muscular from all the work he did on the farm.  His blonde hair is really curly but he keeps it cut really short. I bet
he scored with all the chicks because he has a killer smile and really nice bright blue eyes.

We went out to the orchard and I couldn't get my eyes off him. My Dad and Matt always made me feel comfortable with homosexuality, and always said that it was natural. I guess I look at other boys in a gay way
sometimes but usually it's guys my age. This was the first older guy that I ever caught myself kind of checking out. But he's way out of my league even if I was gay.

Tomorrow is Saturday and I'm going to do a little more hiking.

September 20, 1987

Hey journal-bo-bournal,

This was a really funny day. I went for another little hike down by the Bristol's lake. It was actually a little warmer than it had been lately, and when I got to the water I decided that I would go for a swim. I saw that the Bristol's car was gone so I figured that they weren't home or whatever, and plus they had invited us to take a swim sometime, so I figured what the fuck.

I didn't want to go all the way back to my house to get a swimsuit, so I went down to the end of the dock, and took off my clothes except my underwear. I looked around, didn't see anyone, so I pulled off my undies (I'm wearing my green boxers today) and dove in. I had no idea how cold the water was going to be! When I popped back up to the surface, I let out a loud yell that echoed through the woods. My body felt like one huge goose bump. I just treaded water for a few minutes, and then I got used to it. It felt kind of weird to be in the water naked- I had never been naked swimming before. But I liked it. I kind of felt like a cave man or an Indian or something.

Here's the funny part. I started back towards the dock when I noticed Kevin was there! He was sitting on the edge of the dock with his jeans rolled up and his feet in the water. He was smiling at me and sticking out his finger with my underwear. On the end of it! At first I was scared that he was going to be pissed that I was swimming in his pond, but I could tell by the way he smiled that he thought it was funny that he caught me. I stopped and looked at him. I didn't know what to say.

He looked at me and said, you shouldn't be on someone else's property in nature's own, kid! Then he laughed. I said I didn't think you were home. He said that everyone else was out and that he was thinking of going for a swim himself because it was so warm out. I said well I'm sorry I'll get out then I asked him to hand me my underwear. He said, what are you gonna do, put them on while you're still in the water? I said well I don't have anything on so... then I sort of hesitated. He said that's silly you just need to come out here and get your clothes on. I got a weiner too man, I know what one looks like.

I got right up to the dock, and Kevin reached down and picked up my clothes. I kind of was shy a little because nobody except my parents and my doctors had ever seen my dick before. Plus he was an older guy and
mine will probably look tiny compared to his. But then I figured it might be funny so I pulled myself up onto the dock, and stood straight up.  Almost right away I started to shiver. Kevin looked down at my pecker and
pointed and laughed. Fuck you, I said, that water's fucking cold!

Kevin said he wanted to play a game. He said he would ask me questions and for every right answer I gave him, he would give me one of my articles of clothing. I said I'm too fucking cold to play this game! He said fine then go home naked. I said ok just be quick.

Kevin asked me the first question. What is the square root of 144? 12 I said, that was an easy one. He threw me a sock. Fucker! Can't I have my underwear? Not yet he said. I put the sock over my cock. (Hey that rhymes!)

Second question: what year was Vermont made a state? He didn't think I would know that one. 1791. Ha ha, I got that one now give me my fucking underwear! He threw me my shirt. I put it on quickly and kind of held it
down so that it covered up my weenis. Third question, he said! Then we heard the sound of his Dad's car and he threw the rest of my clothes to me. He said to get dressed quick and he ran up to the house.

I pulled on my clothes and shoes and ran back to my house with my clothes all matted to me because I was still wet. Dad and Matt were in the living room, so I ran in through the kitchen door and right up to my room and
dried off. Then I picked up my journal and well I guess you know what happened after that.

I'm all warm now and getting kind of a boner from telling you about this. I think I'm gonna jerk off and take a nap.

September 21, 1987

Psst... journal!

The whole time I jerked off last night all I could think of was Kevin.  Weird.

Maybe Vermont isn't so bad after all.

September 26, 1987

Hey Journal,

I had the day off from school because of some fucked up thing at the school building, so I got on my hiking stuff and went for a walk. I got down to the fence again and Kevin was outside shopping wood. He was in a pair of jeans and workboots and gloves but no shirt. I hid behind the brush so that he couldn't see me watching him. I looked at him the whole time. I didn't know he had so much hair on his chest. He's fucking muscular too. He could pin me down without a problem. Not that I would resist being pinned down by him in the first place.

I had the binoculars in one hand and my dick in the other because I decided I wanted to jerk off while looking at him. He's practically a grown-up. He has a 6-pack and awesome pecs. I think I might start working out with Matt's workout stuff so that I could look like him. He's got like a mat of hair on his chest and I barely have any pubes. That doesn't seem fair.

I never jerked off outside before but it was cool. I think it was nervous because it took me a long time to cum even though I didn't jerk off yet.  It was kind of cool out too so I kept getting breezes across my cock that felt nice but a little cold. He would raise the axe over his head and bring it down onto the piece of wood so hard that he would always cut them with one big chop. While I watched my wood was pretty hard too.

I guess I'm gay. I don't care. I used to mess around with that kid Paul back in Baltimore but I thought we were just having fun I didn't really think of it as gay. But Paul's dick was pretty small and I bet that Kevin's cock is huge.

Kevin went back into the house after piling the wood up next to the house. I shot a load all over the ground. I think I'm in love.

I'm gonna jerk off again thinking about it then go to bed now.

October 8, 1987

Dear... well... you know who you are,

I was walking home from school today when Kevin stopped and offered me a ride. He was smoking a cigarette! I didn't know he smoked. He offered me one and I said no I don't smoke but I wish I did because then I would
have looked cool.

He has this old pickup truck that must be about 20 years old and the paint is all faded but it runs really well. I asked him where he got it and he said it was his Dad's before he got a new one. He said that him and the guys at the shop in school put all these modifications on it so that it goes really fast. I don't know anything about trucks, but I can tell you that this one sounds really tough. It has like this low and deep rumble sound to it and goes pretty fast. He said you wanna see what it can do? I didn't know what he meant by that but I said okay.

Kevin pulled quick off the road into this wooded kind of area and then came out into this clearing that looked like it was a spot where guys like him and his friends go baja and stuff. He started racing up and down this field, taking these really sharp turns and stuff and was like hollering the whole time. It was very cool. There's no seat belts so I kept getting thrown against him when he took a turn too hard or whatever and I thought that was awesome. This was the first time I got close enough to smell him. He smells like leather and something else but I
don't know what it is. It's kind of like he smells like a really hard working man but not like gross and sweaty.

I tried the whole time not to stare at him too long because he seems like a tough guy plus he's a senior and I think he would tell all the tough buddies he has at school that I'm a fag. That would really suck for me.  There are other fags at the school who are kind of like queer acting and I see how some of those guys treat them. So I really don't want to act queer but I would be queer with Kevin if he wanted me to.

He dropped me off at my house and drove home. I took a wrench off the floor of the truck before I got off and dropped it in my book bag but he didn't see me do it. I don't know why I did, but I did. I wanted to have like a momento of today because I know I'm gonna think about it a lot. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna think about it just before I go to sleep while I polish my favorite helmet!

October 17, 1987

Hey Journ,


I had gym class third period today just before lunch and I left my wallet in my gym locker by accident. I went to the cafeteria and got my lunch and realized what I did, so I had to go all the way back to the gym to get my wallet, and the guys were in there changing for the next gym class. KEVIN KEVIN KEVIN was in there!!! he was almost in the exact same spot as where my locker is and he was in his fucking underwear!!! I SAW KEVIN BRISTOL IN HIS UNDERWEAR!!!!!!!! And he was wearing briefs! Fruit of the looms to be exact! I can still close my eyes and see it. And yes, ladies and gentlemen, Kevin is HUNG. I could see by the outline in his undies that his cock was like 5 inches and thick and he wasn't even hard! His dick is as big soft as mine is hard! I opened my locker and he
said to me hay what are you doing in here? I said that I forgot my wallet and he said oh do you want a ride home today and I said yea that would be cool. I wanted to say I will give YOU a ride, but I didn't feel like getting the shit beat out of me.

So I got my wallet and said fuck lunch and went into the bathroom and jerked off.

Then after school I went out to the student parking lot and waited by his truck when he came out he was walking with these two other guys but then they went over to their own cars and took off. Kevin walked up to me and
said hey Charlie! I didn't even think he really knew my name because I never heard him say it before.

When we got into the truck one of his friends drove by in a really nice older car and gave him the finger. We both laughed and I said to him why does his car have the name Maggie written on it? He said that was the car's name. I said does your truck have a name? He said yeah it's Butch. I said don't most cars have girls' names and he said yes but this truck is a boy. I said how do you know, and he looked over at me an winked and grabbed the shifter and said because it's a stick shift! Then he jerked off the truck's stick shift a couple times and laughed.. I got
an instant boner.

When he dropped me off I SWEAR I saw him grab his crotch! I felt like saying what did you do that for but I think guys with big dicks just have to do that sometimes to move them around or whatever.

(Sorry I had to stop and jerk off again just now. Hope I didn't get any on ya, journal.)

Anyway as I got out he said I can give you a ride home every day of you want cuz it's gonna get too cold to walk pretty soon. I said sure that would be cool. Now I get to see him every day! WOO FUCKING HOO!!! I gotta
jerk it now. Good night!

October 31, 1987

It's Halloween, journal!

BOO! Did I scare you?

Anyway, I love Halloween. I'm too old to go trick-or-treating but I told Dad and Matt that I would go downtown with Carrie and bring her around to go. All the little shops stay open late so that they can give candy out to the kids trick or treating. The houses in this little town are too far apart. Its not like Baltimore where you could just walk around your building and get shitloads of candy. But this was more fun. There didn't seem to be any store-bought costumes. It looked like all these kids' Moms made theirs. My substitute Mom, Matt made Carrie her costume. She was dressed like a Hershey's kiss. He made it out of this silvery-shiny material like a bag that tied around her neck but had holes for her arms and was filled with those little foam cheese-doodle shaped things. I always called them foam weiners in my head HA HA HA.

I knew Kevin would be working in the haunted house that they had set up in the old barn behind the hardware story so I made sure to go in there with Carrie. It was pretty scary! They had it set up like a tour of a mad
scientist's lab so that you had to go through each room of it and it was mostly dark but there were candles and stuff. Each room was set up like a different experiment gone wrong. I was walking through with Carrie and a
group of other kids who all got there at the same time. When we got to the Frankenstein room, it was Kevin dressed up like him. Kevin is tall anyway but he had on these shoes that made him look even taller! The
costume was VERY cool and authentic. He jumped up off the table as we went in and acted like he was breaking through the restraints that were supposed to hold him down, and let out this loud scary groan as he did it
too. All the kids were scared and actually so was I kind of. He came towards us and GRABBED me and held me tight against his body like he had caught me and the other kids ran into the next room. When they left, he
started laughing and said hey Chuck, what's up? I laughed at him and said awesome costume. I came really close to saying you want to grab me every time a group of kids comes in? But I didn't want him to know how
much I liked it. He asked me why I wasn't in a costume and I said I'm too old for that. He said ahh bullshit dude, look at me! This is just fun. Then he said I guess the city boy is too cool to dress up and then he laughed. We hear the next group of kids walking in and Carrie was calling for me to catch up with her so I had to go. He said see ya man, and punched me lightly on the shoulder as he got back onto the table. I walked out with yet another Kevin-induced boner.

I gotta remember to see if I can work at the haunted house next year with Kevin.

November 6, 1987

I saw Kevin chopping wood again today. He didn't take off his shirt because it was too chilly out to do it but he was in this red plaid flannel shirt and blue jeans. He looked like a real cowboy.

Ride `em, cowboy!

Dad told me that this is the peak of the leaf-changing season and I can't believe how beautiful it looks. From our back porch you can see the hillside and it has so many colors. It's beautiful. I've seen pictures and paintings and stuff, but nothing compares to seeing it in real life. Now I know what everyone was talking about. I stood on the
porch looking at it with my Dad, and he put his arm around me. We stood there looking at it for a few minutes and it was really nice.

Masturbation time! Good night!

November 10, 1987

Dear Journal,

Something weird happened today. When Kevin and I were driving home from school, he had his hand in his crotch the whole time. He hardly said anything at all then when he got to my driveway, he said I'm gonna be
chopping wood again today. I didn't know what to say. I don't know if he was just saying it like that's just something he has to do, or if he way saying that he knew I was watching or what. It was really fucked up and I didn't know what to say. So I acted like a geek and said oh well, have a good time with that! What a fucking dork I am! I don't know what to make of it.

I went up to my room and just kind of sat there and thought about it. All that thinking made me really nervous. Carrie came in and started bugging the shit out of me and I just yelled at her to go away. Now she's gonna
tell Matt and I'm gonna get in trouble.

Tomorrow is Saturday and I probably won't see Kev again until Monday.

November 13, 1987

Dear Journal,

Kevin drove me home from school today again like nothing ever weird happened on Friday. I'm so glad it didn't get all weird between us. I  still don't know what he meant about chopping wood the other day but I don't really care because everything is normal now.

I have this stupid paper to write on the Emancipation Proclamation so I really can't write too long in here but I just wanted to tell you that everything seems normal again.

November 22, 1987

Kevin asked me today if I was a fag. He just came right out and said it when we were on the way home. I was so fucking nervous. He said are you a homo and I didn't know what to say, so I just said no I'm not. He looked over at me and said I seen you checking guys out. I know your Dad is a homo so you probably are too, right? I said just because my Dad is gay doesn't mean that I am too. He looked at me again and said, aww come on... you don't like to suck rod? And he put his hand on my thigh and I pushed it off and said no I don't. He laughed really hard. We didn't say anything for the rest of the ride but when he dropped me off, he slapped my ass as I got out of the truck and said seya tomorrow queer boy.

I thought I was going to cry. I looked at him and didn't say anything but he could tell I was upset about it and said I'm sorry man I was just kidding with you. I yelled why would you say that? He said I was just joking around Charlie I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I started crying and he said hang on Charlie get back in. I got back in the truck
and he put his hand on the back of my neck and said I am really sorry man. I said you don't know what it's like then I realized that I just told him I was gay! But he said no I don't but it must be tough to have everyone see your family and that you have two Dads and shit. I was relieved that he thought I was talking about having a gay Dad. And I said yeah, man it's not fun. He squeezed my neck and said well dude, I am your friend and I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. When he squeezed my neck it sent a shiver down my spine. Then he leaned in and hugged me.
When he began to pull away I kissed him on the cheek. I don't know why I did. He stopped and looked at me for a second, and then leaned totally out and put his hands on the wheel. Then he said I will see you in the morning, okay man? I said okay and got out of the truck. I just stood there and watched as he drove off. I really liked the way his cheek felt against my lips even though it was just for half a second. It was soft but kind of rough from his beard stubble.

So this means that I just got finished telling him I wasn't a homo and then kissed him on the cheek. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking!  Fucking stupid!

I hope tomorrow everything is back to normal. I'm definitely slappin it tonight.

November 23, 1987

Everything's back to normal, journal!

Kevin picked me up today and then dropped me off and wasn't all weird and quiet or anything. He was talking about football practice and how last season he knocked this kid's teeth out and all I could think about was him in a jock strap. I am SUCH a fag!

We drove home and then he dropped me off and said see ya tomorrow like he always does. And then... well... that was it. The rest of the day was pretty boring. We did have fettuccine alfredo for dinner with broccoli
that I really love though.

December 1, 1987

It snowed today!

Hey Journal,

So today was the first time it has snowed since we moved here. Its weird but now that we're here in the snow it really feels like home. I look at how pretty the trees look all covered in snow and can't think of why people would want to live in the city.

My Dad got us a toboggan! I am so psyched! I never sledded before. I wanted to go out and try it but Matt said that the snow isn't thick enough and that it really wouldn't work. I can't wait until it snows more!

Ooh, maybe I can convince Kevin to ride down the hill on the back of my sled so that I could feel him wrapped around me... oh, hell yes.

December 8, 1987


A guy in school today called me a fag in the hall. I can't believe that people can tell I am. I watch Matt and see all the faggy things he does and try so hard not to be like him. I love Matt and stuff but he is such the stereotypical homo.

I told Kevin about it on the way home because I wanted to see how he reacted. He got all pissed and said who is it. I told him I didn't know the guy's name but that I know he's a senior. I described him to Kevin and he said oh that's Brett Green and I remembered that that was his name. Kevin got all kind of quiet and I don't know why.

I was thinking about it and I think that maybe Kevin was pissed because someone knows that I am a fag and that I hang out with him.

I am pissed. I don't want to be a fag.

December 9, 1987

Hey Journal!

What an awesome day! Get this- KEVIN BEAT UP BRETT GREEN!

I was coming out of my Earth Science class when I could hear like a ruckus down the hall and someone told me it was a fight! I ran down to see what was going on and I saw Brett Green on the floor and Kevin was holding his body up by his shirt and POUNDING THE SHIT OUT OF HIS FACE!!!  It wasn't long before Mr. Hirsch and Mr. Benton broke up the fight but I saw Brett's face afterwards and he was beat to shit! I was so fucking happy! Mr. Benton dragged Kevin off to the principal's office and Mr. Hirsch brought Brett to the nurse.

I found out later that both of them got suspended for a week.

I figured I would have to walk home but when I came out the front door of the school I saw Kevin's truck sitting there. He waved at me and I got this huge stupid smile across my face. I got into the truck and saw that
Kevin's lip was a little busted but he still looked a lot better than Brett. I was gonna ask him what happened but I didn't want to bring it up because I thought he might get pissed because it got him suspended. I just kind of chattered all the way home about miscellaneous bullshit and then when I was getting out of the truck he grabbed my arm to stop me and said if anyone else fucks with you at school, you let me know.

HE BEAT BRETT UP FOR MEEEE!!!! I can't fucking believe it! It's like having the big brother I never had AND a knight in shining pickup truck!

I am DEFINITELY in love with Kevin.

December 10, 1987


I don't know WHAT happened today, but it was the coolest thing ever.

When I came out of school, Kevin was waiting again to pick me up. On the way home, he said that since he was suspended from school for a week that his Dad was sending him to his Uncle's to help out on their farm, and
that he wouldn't be about to pick me up until he was back in school again. I can't stand the thought of not seeing Kevin for another week!

Then he asked me if everyone was cool at school I told him that I think my popularity quotient rose about 50% because everyone heard that Kevin Bristol kicked Brett Green's ass because Brett was fucking with me and
that must mean I am cool. Kevin thought this was really funny and laughed. Well then it was all worth it, he said.

When I was getting out of the truck, Kevin said well I guess I'll see you next week and put his arms out like he wanted to give me a hug. So of course, I went in and hugged him and HE KISSED ME! It was on the cheek,

I went inside and jerked off THREE TIMES thinking about it.






December 16, 1987

THE GREATEST DAY OF MY FUCKING LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And to think, it started out as the WORST day since I moved here!

My hand is shaking as I write this so I'm sorry if it's hard to read.  Ok... here it is. Matt has been driving me to school because it's too cold to walk and Kevin is still away. Today I expected to go to school with Kevin again because I thought he would be back, but when I called his house to see whey he was late Mr. Bristol said that he had some trouble with his truck and was stuck at his Uncle's place. I was pissed because I haven't seen him for almost a week but Matt said he was going to drive me there. But I would have to walk home, just like last week, it
usually isn't that bad a walk but it's fucking cold and shit.

Anyway, I was at school and it started snowing. Normally I would be psyched about it, but I knew I had to walk home in this shit. I was pissed. I called Matt and my Dad both at work but they said that they couldn't get out early enough to pick me up.

Well, I was walking all pissed off when I saw a truck like Kevin's coming down the road. It was Kevin! To my rescue once again!

He stopped and opened the door for me and said, hey stranger, you want a ride? I laughed and jumped in. He gave me a big hug. He said dude, you're soaking wet! You gotta get a better coat if you're going to be
living up here! I said yeah , I know. He reached behind the seat and pulled out this huge beach towel. It was wrinkled like it had been there for ages but seemed clean. It smelled like him. I wrapped it around my
back and up over my head.

The whole ride home Kevin was talking about how awesome his Uncle's farm is, and how it's an actual working dairy farm and that he helped a cow give birth. I thought the visual of that was pretty gross, but it was really nice to see Kevin again and to see him all psyched about something.

I got back to the house and he dropped me off, and I hugged him again and said I'm glad you're home. His hug was really long this time. He stopped hugging me but kind of kept me in his arms like a little longer and I thought he wanted to say something but he didn't. Then I got out and he took off.

I got up to my door and went into my bag to get my key but I couldn't find it. I went around to the back door and it was locked. I tried to push open the window but it was locked too. I looked inside and saw my key sitting on the kitchen counter. I was fucked. Usually Carrie would be home about half an hour after me, but today there was this ting going on down at the Park and Rec center so she wouldn't be home until Matt picked her up after he got out of work.

I walked back to The Bristol's house to use their phone or whatever, and it took me fifteen minutes to get there, even though most of the time it's about a 5 minute walk. I knocked on the door and Kevin answered and
said what's going on man? I told him the whole story about getting locked out and he said to come in. I was dripping all over the place. We went into the mud room and he said there are some towels in the dryer so
just take them out and put your clothes in and put on a towel. He went into the kitchen and closed the door behind him to give me some privacy.  I peeled off my wet things, right down to my underwear and even that was
soaked. I put it all in they dryer and put a big pink towel around my waist.

I went into the kitchen and Kevin was making hot chocolate. Like, REAL hot chocolate on the stove with milk. Not that instant crap I drank every morning. It was funny to see this big tough dude making hot chocolate like someone's grandmother.

I picked up the phone and called my Dad, because where he worked was closer to the house. He said that he couldn't leave and that I would just have to wait for him to get home. I guess Kevin heard what he said
because he offered to drive me down to my Dad's place to pick up the key, but my Dad said no, I don't want you doing an unnecessary driving in this weather. Kevin said it's no problem, you could stay here until he gets home. I kept having to stand in weird positions because my boner kept making a tent in the towel.

I hung up the phone and Kevin handed me a cup of hot chocolate. I took a sip and I don't remember ever having a better cup of hot chocolate.

We went into the living room and there was a fire burning. They had a cool big old leather couch that looked like it has been through a way but was comfortable and soft as hell. I sat down on the end closest to the fire, and Kevin sat on the other end. It was really cozy and felt good against my skin as it dried.

We talked a little while, abut what was going on at school, how all the kids were asking me about him, how he was happy to be back home, etc. I was doing my best to hide my growing boner. I couldn't believe I was
sitting this close to him almost completely naked!

I shifted my weight and the towel slipped open for a second. Kevin was in the middle of saying something and stopped dead when this happened. I thought he was afraid it was going to fall open! I quickly re-fastened it
closed. He said, wow you almost lost it there! I remembered back to the day he caught me skinny dipping and said, well, not like its anything you haven't seen before! He laughed. Then he said yea but I haven't seen it
in it's full glory, and winked at me. I was puzzled by what he meant by that until I realized that my boner was pitching a perfect tent in my lap. I quickly moved so it wasn't sticking straight up. He laughed again. You got a boner he said! I guess there was no denying it at this point. Yea I said and I looked for a reason. I think its just that I'm naked and the fire feels so good and stuff. He said yea, sometimes I like to get naked in front of the fire too. There was a long silence while I pictured him naked sitting in this very spot.

He broke the silence and said you know, I really mean what I said that day. If anyone ever fucks with you they have to answer to me. You're a good kid and I don't want anyone to hurt you. I felt a little tingly when he said that. He had a sweet smile on his face. Then he said I really would do anything for you. I would do anything for you too, I
said. He moved closer to me! I didn't know what he was trying to do! He said I really have to know something for sure. My heart was pounding so hard I could hardly ask him what. He said seriously, I need to know if you're gay. Why do you NEED to know I asked. THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENED!  HE LEANED IN AND KISSED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I COULDN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT!!! His lips were warm and soft and I could feel a little bit of stubble on his upper lip. He leaned back, and looked at me again. He said are you okay? Yeah I said! He leaned in again and kissed me again but WITH HIS TONGUE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I COULDN'T BELIEVE HE WAS KISSING ME!!! He put his hand on my thigh and I jumped a little. He stopped kissing me again. Is this alright, he said in a deep voice. Yes, Kevin I said. I don't know why but I had to say his name when I
responded. He shifted his body closer to mine and we kissed more. This time I got more actively involved in it. I put my arms around his neck and he put his around my waist. I reached down and started pulling up his shirt. He was going for it! I don't know why, but I thought maybe the kiss was just out of sympathy or whatever, but when he let me begin to pull off his shirt. I knew it was more than that. He stopped kissing me just long enough to pull his shirt off. I ran my hands down the smooth skin of his sides, and back up his chest, feeling his chest hair run
through my fingers. He started touching me all over too... his rough hands were so warm against my smooth skin. He was so tender, being careful not to touch me in the spots where he thought I might not be ready to let him. But he didn't know that at this point I would pretty much let him put his hands wherever he wanted to. He leaned hard into me, and our chests came together. His hands were running all up and down my spine and through my hair. His tongue was doing things in my mouth that I never thought a tongue would be able to do. I still was expecting to wake up like it was a dream. His breathing was getting harder in and out through his nose as we kissed wildly. I leaned back against the couch and pulled him down on top of me. My head was up against the armrest and now
he was on top of me. He started rubbing his body up and down against me and I could feel his tremendous erection. All of a sudden, my towel fell off, and my 5 inch cock was against his hairy stomach! The hair was so
smooth and soft, and his skin was so warm I couldn't believe how incredible it felt! He stopped kissing me and looked down at my hard prick. You want to stop? He asked. No, I don't I said. He reached down for the towel as if to cover me back up (I think he thought he was taking me too far), and I said no leave it off. He smiled at me and leaned down to kiss me again. I kissed him even harder. Shoving my tongue into his mouth. He responded to this by grinding his stomach even harder against my cock... he knew how good this was making me feel. I began to moan and I felt like I was going to cum. I said wait Kevin we have to stop. For some reason I thought he might be grossed out if I shot a load all over his stomach. Plus it would make me look like a little kid who couldn't even control his cum. He stopped suddenly, pushed his body away from mine but was still on top of me. What's wrong? Are you okay? He was being so sweet thinking he was making me do something I wasn't ready for. I said
nothing im sorry I just didn't want to cum all over you. He looked at me, and said you can cum wherever you want to, Charles. (Hearing him say my proper name was so fucking hot!)

I looked up att him and by now had lost all shyness or fear I had. I said I want you to make me cum Kevin. I knew that what I meant was that I wanted him to suck me off till I came, but I didn't want to say that. I STILL didn't know if he was intending to do anything more than kissing... what a moron! H leaned down back into me and kissed me on the lips... then across the cheeks... then down my neck to my chest. My mind raced. He knew what I wanted! I didn't even have to say anything, but he knew what I wanted!!! He got to my left nipple and licked it softly and
kissed it. He licked his way across my chest to my other nipple and did the same. My dick was throbbing. I got the feeling that he had never done this before but that he had thought about it for a long time. Somehow
strange thoughts went through my mind, like how he never talked about girls. I thought he could have any girl in school he wanted, between his awesome looks and his being on the football team. Maybe he's gay. Maybe
this is what he wanted all along but never had a chance to do it until the city boy came along.

He licked and kissed his way down my stomach. I looked down and saw the triangle of saliva he left behind. He had me bad but he didn't know it.  As his head moved lower and his mouth neared my cock I almost passed out
from the excitement. His chin brushed against my dick. He looked up at me. Do you know what I'm going to do to you he said. Yes I whispered. He kissed the tip of my cock which was pressed hard up against my body. He
said and you're okay with that? Yes I said again. Please. He took a long hard look at my dick for what seemed like forever. He took it is his hand, and it felt wonderful wrapped safely in his warm fingers. He took the head into his mouth and began to suck instantly my whole body shook from the feeling. He gradually worked his head up and down and sucked it harder with each stroke. I could feel my orgasm building up slowly in me.  With his free hand he slowly and gently ran his hand up my stomach and chest. I took his other hand in mine and held it firmly against my body.  He was bringing me to cum with the slow, deliberate motion of his mouth.  I loved the way he was sucking me. His lips were tightly clenched against my dick, and with each up-stroke he twisted his head a little and flicked his tongue under the head. He really seemed to be enjoying this as much as I was. I realized that his body was in a position that would allow me to rub my foot against his dick. He was still in his jeans, but finding
that hard cock wasn't difficult. When he realized what I was doing, he spread his legs a little to let me get to it. He started slowly humping my foot when I felt my balls pull up tight to my body. I was getting ready to cum.

I'm gonna do it man... I'm gonna cum I said. He looked up at me without taking my dick out of his mouth. He winked at me. He didn't slow up on the steady pace of his sucking. He was moaning with each stroke his mouth
took. My dick spasmed in his mouth. I knew I had just shot a little load of that slick stuff you let out before you cum. Kevin liked it. He wanted more. So I gave him more. Unnnh I said and I shot a huge load into his mouth. He moved his head a little so that he could swallow it better. Unh  I let out another. It shot into him so hard I think it went right down his throat. Then another shot and another. He was sucking me in a very controlled manner to make me cum long and hard. He may have never done this before, but he knew what the fuck he was doing. He kept sucking until he had completely drained my balls.

When he was done, he leaned back on the sofa and wiped his mouth. He actually swallowed it all!!! for a minute we just sat at opposite ends of the couch and tried to catch our breath. I could see his cock straining to get out of his jeans. I leaned over to him, and kissed him. Our kissing was softer and sweeter this time. I slid my hand down his hairy chest and found the button to his jeans and then undid it. It popped open under the pressure from his cock. With one motion of my hand, I slid the zipper down and pulled out his cock still in his underwear. He was
wearing briefs again. He pulled my face away from his, and looked me in the eyes. I think I love you Charles he said. I love you too Kevin. I stood up, and got closer to him. I sat on his lap, straddling him. His hands were all over me again. I think he liked feeling his smooth body ass much as I loved feeling his rough hands and hairy chest against me. I began to grind my crotch into him, making his cock harder. The friction between us caused his underwear to pull down a little, and I got the first glimpse of his cock. The head was pretty big. Definitely bigger then mine. It was a real man-cock. I stood up and pulled his jeans off by the cuffs and dropped them on the floor. He pulled his underwear off himself, and I saw him totally naked. I just stood motionless for a few seconds looking at him. His muscles all were taut, and he had this incredible line of dark-blonde hair that connected the hair on his stomach to his pubes. He stroked his cock slowly looking up at me. He must have been 8 maybe 8 ½ long and as thick as a baby's arm. It was covered with all these veins while mine was pretty smooth. His balls hung really low, almost covering up his ass crack! Each of his nuts was as big as both of mine. I began to go to sit down on him again and has said wait. I said what's wrong. He said nothing, I just want to look at you.  I stood in front of him, showing off my boy for his pleasure, as he slowly stroked his enormous cock up and down. I turned around and showed him my butt. I jumped a little when he lightly touched one of my cheeks.  He rubbed it up and down slowly and tenderly, like he was inspecting a fine suede. With his final stroke of my butt, his thumb ran up the length of my crack, sending another shock wave up my spine. I turned around, and he leaned back on the couch. I leaned down, and kissed him, and held his cock in my hand. It was so fucking hot. I couldn't even fit my hand around it it was so big. I could feel the warmth from the fire on my backside. I couldn't take anymore, I had to have that thing in my mouth.  I knelt in front of Kevin, and held his huge-looking cock in my hands. I began to stroke it up and down, slowly. For a moment Kevin let out a deep groan and arched his back. He sounded what I imagine a bear would sound like. I went in for it and put the tip in my mouth. He went very quiet, I think he was trying to not scare me. I was salivating like crazy. With my other hand I began to play with his balls. They were so fucking big and heavy like golf balls! And I couldn't believe how low they hung. I took as much of his cock into my mouth as I could but didn't even get half of it in. This didn't seem to bother Kevin. His cock filled my mouth and
his hips rose as he slowly began on hump my face. I wanted him to do it.  I needed him to. I looked up at him and he had this incredible look of ecstacy on his face, but also of a little concern. He was still worried about making me feel uncomfortable, even with his cock in my mouth! I reached up and took his hands in mine, and brought them to the back of my head. This was the signal that it was okay to do what he wanted to. He ran his fingers tenderly through my hair, and then held my head still while he worked his cock in and out of my mouth. I wanted to taste his cum so bad. I had never swallowed when I was messing around with what's-his-name back in Balto, but I loved Kevin and wanted to do whatever it took to please him.

Kevin's cock head grew in my mouth and I knew it was time. Be brought me off through slow steady paces with his mouth, but I wanted to make him cum hard and fast. I quickened my pace, and sucked his big prick as hard
as I could. His moaning got louder and higher pitched. I could tell that he was getting ready. I put my hand under my mouth so that I would be stroking his whole rod, and he shot a powerful load right down my gullet.  It tasted salty/sweet and I wanted more. I began making slurping sounds and moaning as I got more and more tastes of his jizz. He was giving me all I wanted. He seemed to cum forever, and I knew I could suck him as long as he wanted or needed me to.

He finally pulled his softening cock out of my mouth. I looked up at him and giggled. He smiled down at me. I sad I guess I did good Kev? He said yes, very good.

I looked at the clock and realized that his parents would be home with his little brother soon. Kevin went upstairs and got his robe for me to wear while my clothes finished drying.

When they got home, we were sitting in the kitchen playing cards. Just a couple of boys sitting innocently playing a game, I thought to myself.  HEE HEE HEE... little did they know!

My Dad called when he got home and Kevin drove me home. I gave him a hug before he said I'll seya tomorrow, like he always does. I said yup and looked at him. He had a very different expression on his face than normal. It was like he was satisfied, not so much like the angry teen guy he usually looked like. I knew I had something to do with that.

Wow- this is my longest journal entry yet! I'm going to sleep now. I won't need to jerk off.

December 19, 1987

Hey Journal,

Kevin and I see each other every day like we always did, but its different now. He's's so sweet to me. Sometimes he holds my hand while we're driving, but it's funny because he has to let go every time he has to shift. I am definitely in love with Kevin Bristol.

Kevin Bristol.

Kevin Henry Bristol.

Kevin Bristol + Charles Jamieson

... Charles Bristol HA HA HA

I want to spend more time alone with him but there's a lot of work for him to do on his Dad's farm and I never get to be alone with him. He said it's ok, we'll have time together. He said that we don't need to rush anything.

Yup, I am in love with him.

December 25, 1987



What a cool Christmas! I got a Nintendo, a portable CD Player that I can hook up in the car when we drive places OR listen to with head phones OR attach to the stereo in my room, a bunch of new clothes that are very cool (I can tell Matt picked them out) and we went over to the Bristol's for dinner.

It was both our families together... Kevin, his parents, his sister and brother, my Dads and my sister. We were having a really nice time. The dinner was excellent- ham and mashed potatoes, green beans, and a bunch
of other stuff I didn't eat. We brought over the dessert- apple pies that Mad and Dad had made from apples from our orchard. The whole time we were at the table Kevin was smiling and winking at me from across the
table. It was a nice smile, but a little sly. Even if someone noticed it they would guess that we had shared some sort of secret, but they would never guess what it was.

After dinner, we went into the den and Kevin and I sat next to each other on the couch, right in the same spot where I made him squirt his man juice in my mouth. HE HE! We sat close enough where we were touching each
other from the hips down. It felt really nice to be that close to him.

We talked for a little while and then exchanged presents. Mr. And Mrs. Bristol gave me a nice sweater that Mrs. Bristol knitted herself. Mr. Bristol gave my Dad this very cool antique meat grinder, and said that come spring, he would show us how to use it. My Dad and Matt thought it was very cool.

I was surprised when I opened my present from Kevin. It was a cool silver ring, with a lapis stone in it and these really cool eagles hand-carved into either side. I put it on my ring finger and it was really big. Kevin said that he got the bigger one so that I could wear it still when I got bigger. I chuckled at him saying got bigger but nobody noticed. I said I wish I could wear it now. Mr. Bristol said that if we wrapped a little duct tape around the bottom of the band it should fit nice and snug.  Kevin said hey Dad, isn't there some downstairs in your toolbox? His Dad
said yeah, so Kevin said hey Charlie let's go downstairs and fix it. I knew that he had more in mind than fixing my ring.

We went down to the basement and I was walking behind Kevin. When we got down to his Dad's workbench, I leaned up against it and smiled at Kevin.  He came up to me and put his arms around me and smiled. He said I have trying to think of a way to get alone with you all night and tell you how much I love you. I said I love you too and we kissed. It was nice to feel his kiss again, the first real kiss we'd been able to share in a while.  I hooked my arms up under his and over his shoulders. He pulled his body tightly into mine. He was always sweet with me but this time he was a little more aggressive. I didn't feel like he wanted to hurt me or anything, but I could definitely feel that he was hornier than usual. I knew we didn't have long before someone would wonder why we were down here for so long, and I wanted to bring him off bad. I reached down inside the khakis he was wearing and felt his throbbing hot cock. I stopped kissing him and got down on my knees. He was breathing really
hard. I unzipped his pants and pulled his shorts and pants down to his ankles really quick. I gobbled down on his cock, so happy to have it in my mouth again. He put his hands on the back of my head and started fucking my face fast and hard. I was slurping and moaning and he was breathing hard in and out with each stroke. He reached down and was rubbing my back. He pulled my shirt up and ran his hand up and down my spine. He knows how much I like that. With each down-stroke of his hand, he went a little further into my pants. Soon he was rubbing his rough finger hard into my ass crack. It felt so fucking good. I know what gay sex is all about and I know what anal sex is, and I was afraid that someday he would want to fuck my ass. I knew that I wanted to get fucked
by him too- anything to make him cum somewhere in me. But while I was sucking him I couldn't fathom how this huge cock of his was going to get into my tiny little asshole. Soon he had my pants pushed down under my
ass cheeks and was busily trying to find my hole. It felt unbelievably good. I had to take my mouth off his cock for a minute to let him know how much I liked it. I didn't even say anything- I don't really think I could have if I wanted to, when he said oh, you like that, Charlie? I said yes. He reached down and pulled me up by my arms. Turn around he said. So I turned around and leaned forward on his Dad's workbench. He pulled up a chair and sat down with his face right up to my asshole. He spat on it, and I kind of jumped a little, and giggled. He said, are you okay? I said yea do it Kevin! (I got a little forceful there!) He spread my cheeks apart and found my hole. He put his finger up against it and it felt AWESOME. He stuck it in a little and it hurt a lot but felt good at the same time. He put it in up to about the second knuckle and just kind of held it there. I loved the feeling as my ass clenched hard around it.
He spat on my hole again and stuck his finger in more. It felt like a knife going right through me and I yelled a little, but then said I'm sorry, I'm sorry! He laughed and said it's okay, nobody heard you. Does it hurt he asked. I said yea but don't stop. He put his finger all the way in and held it there. He wiggled his finger a little bit and it sent
a shot of pleasure from my ass through my body. Unh! I said, and said I'm sorry again. He chuckled and said just don't get too loud! I said I can't help it! He started stroking his finger in and out. I felt like I was entering another world. So THIS is why guys sometimes like to get fucked in the butt, I thought! IT FELT SO FUCKING AWESOMELY GOOD. Then he pulled it out and I felt another finger go in. He pushed in slowly as he
did the first time, and kept asking me if I was okay, and if I really wanted him to do this. I thought if he just could feel how good this feels to me he would now he didn't have to ask. I SAID TO HIM, STICK IT IN Kevin. I want you in me. He said I dunno Charlie, you're really tight. I said I don't care Kevin, I want u to put it in me! He said ok,
and stood up. I spread my legs a little more to accommodate him. I felt him get up behind me and put his hot tip against my hole. Man, I wanted him to fuck my ass BAD. He put the tip against it, and I kind of pushed away from him instinctively and he grabbed me by the hips laughing and said where ya goin? I laughed and said you just have to be slow Kevin. He tried to push the tip in but it wouldn't go. I felt him drop some spit right on my hole, and he tried again, but it still wouldn't go. I begged him to ram it in, but he said no I cant Charlie, you're too tight and
it's too dry. I said you have to do something and laughed. He put his shaft hard up against my crack and started to hump my crack. He reached around and began to jerk my cock with the spit he had on his hand. This
wasn't getting fucked really, but it felt really good.

Just then, we heard the basement door open! From where we were nobody at the door could see us, and Kevin didn't stop the motion. His Mom called down, is everything okay down there? And Kevin and I answered in unison, uh-huh! Kevin's voice was normal-sounding and even, but I was so fucking turned on that it came out a little loud and high-pitched. I heard his Mom laugh- she thought I was just making a funny voice! Little did she
know that her son was raising me to unbelievable heights of ecstacy! She said well, we're heating up the apple cider now, so hurry up! I didn't say anything but Kevin answered, we'll be up in just a minute Mom! What
an angelic voice! HE HE HE!

The door closed and Kevin quickened the pace. I had lifted up one of my legs and wrapped it around Kevin a little. He picked me up by both legs and wrapped them around under his butt with my feet just above his crack.
I could feel that he had a little soft hair just above his butt with the heels of my feet.. I tried to picture exactly what we looked like from the side for a moment and laughed a little. He was still humping my crack and pumping my dick but still managed to hold me up in this weird position. Just when I felt like I was getting ready to squirt my load, Kevin said Charlie I'm gonna cum. I said awesome me too. I told him to pump his load out all over my butt. I wanted to feel his hot seed all down me and on my crack. He started moaning, being careful not to be too
loud, and I felt his pace quicken. I shot my first squirt really hard and could hear it hit the floor. I felt his first shot at the exact same time shoot at the top of my butt crack and dribble down onto my hole. It made a squishing noise as he used it for lubrication for his motion. His hand brought me 5 or 6 more shots and he shot a bunch more times all over my butt.

I heard my Dad call downstairs without opening the door, Charlie come up stairs now.

We quickly cleaned up with the paper towels his Dad had on his work bench and went back upstairs. At the top of the stairs I grabbed him from behind and pulled him down to me and kissed him hard. He giggled, and said okay, you're okay to go up there now? I said hell yes I'm okay!

When we got back to the den, Mr. Bristol asked how the ring felt now. I forgot about the ring by then. Kevin said oh, we're all out of duct tape. And he winked at me.

I am gonna play with my asshole tonight when I jerk off. I gotta figure out how I can get Kevin inside of me.

Just in case you were wondering, I LOVE KEVIN BRISTOL.

January 1, 1988.

Happy new year, journal!

Last night I got to go to a real adult party with my Dads. It was a real party, not one of those ones you go to that have all these families and little annoying kids running around. They let me have a glass of champagne when it hit midnight.

At about 12:03 I called Kevin. I knew he would be home watching his brother while his parents were out. I thought it was unfair, but he didn't really mind. I said happy new year and that I love him too. He said he loved me. I could tell in his voice that he meant it.

I am not going to jerk off tonight because I think I'm drunk... my Dads said I could have a glass of champagne but didn't know that I had 4! HE HE HE!

January 2, 1988

Hey journal, why didn't you tell me that champagne is evil? My head feels like there's an anvil sitting on top of it.

That is all.

January 6, 1988

Hi journal,

Matt and Dad are bringing Carrie to see the Ice Capades in Montpelier.  They're going to be gone for most of the day and evening. I have to snoop in their room and see what it is they use to fuck. I think it's kind of gross to be doing that in my Dads' room, but if I don't get Kevin in my ass soon, I think I might just die.

Okay, I just got back and in Matt's night stand I found a bunch of tubes of something called KY Jelly. This has got to be the stuff. I'm gonna play with it and see what happens.

WOW THIS IS THE STUFF!!! I just lubed up my hole and slipped a carrot in there with no problem! Man that feels good! The carrot was cold, though.  I can't wait to tell Kevin about it and feel his HOT COCK IN MY HOLE!

Well, I already just jerked off, but I'm gonna do it again tonight with this carrot. I should be sleeping well tonight!

January 8, 1988


I told Kevin about the KY stuff and he said yea he's heard of it but didn't know that was what it was for. I said I don't know if that's specifically why they make it, but I guess that's what they use it for.

He said that this weekend his parents will be away and they are taking Todd with them, so we could have the place to ourselves. I don't know if I can wait that long!

I was gonna jerk off tonight with more of the KY but I don't wanna waste it because I don't know how much of we'll need.

January 11, 1988


The best AND worst weekend of my life just happened. I will never be the same.

I went over to Kevin's after I told my Dads that I was going to spend the night there. Dad was acting kind of weird about it but whatever. I think he is wondering why an older guy would want to spend so much time with me.

When I got to Kevin's, he answered the door wearing nothing but his underwear. I laughed at it and he said come on in. We went into the den and he had just gotten the fire burning. He pushed the furniture away from the fireplace and there was a bear skin rug there instead. I didn't know they even had a bear skin rug. He had brought down the pillows and the really soft fuzzy blanket from his room and put them on the rug.

We went over and Kevin sat down on the rug. There was some music playing and I asked him who it was and he said it was Sadé. He was really setting a mood! I was really turned on. I think we both knew that it was going to
be a big night. I took off my shoes and socks and then took off my shirt.  Kevin leaned down on one elbow and watched. He really liked to watch and I really liked to let him watch. I slowly unzipped my pants and slid them
down. I was wearing my silk boxers. Then I sat down next to him. He put his hand on my underwear and said wow these are soft. He said he really liked them. I ran my hand up his muscular arm. I am still fascinated at
how little fat he has on his arms. Just pure muscle. He flexed it and grinned at me. I leaned in and kissed him. Every time I kiss him it's like brand new. He ran his hand up my side. I could tell that he had used
some moisturizer or something because it was a lot softer than usual. I liked it when his hands were rough, but this was nice. I laid down and pulled him down on top of me. He was now lying on his side kind of next
to me but kind of on top. He worked his hand down to my chest, running his thumb lightly over my nipples. He turned his hand over and ran the kinda hairy knuckles across my chest. That drove me nuts. It kind of
tickled. He never did that before. He was learning new tricks!

I put my hands around him and could feel one of his shoulder blades protruding out from his back. This is where his wings fell off, I thought. He kissed me gingerly. I was just now noticing how soft the bear fur felt against my back. His hands slid slowly down towards my underwear. He ran his fingers just under the waistband and thought my little patch of pubes. I was already hard as a rock. His palm slid into my shorts and down the length of my shaft. I heard nothing but the sounds of the hot breath coming from his nose as his tongue swirled and darted
around my mouth.

I pushed against him indicating that I wanted him to lay down and let me get on top. Without unlocking our mouths, we rolled over so that he was flat on his back and I was completely on top of him. His hands slid down my back and back under my underwear. He was kneading and squeezing my ass cheeks like bread dough. His chest hair was lightly brushing against my nipples. I kissed down his neck and to his chest. I felt the soft hair from his torso brushing my cheeks as I slowly went kissing down his body.  When I got to his navel, I kissed it and stuck my tongue inside. I never did this to him before and I really liked it. Kevin did, too. I got to his underwear and took the waist band in my teeth and pulled them down under his cock. Somehow it seemed hotter tonight than it ever had been. I pulled them completely off, and kissed his dick all over. I love his cock so much. It seems to represent everything about him... strong, determined, and warm. I picked up his dick and slowly took it into my mouth. I took deep, hard strokes down on it, but slowly. I wanted to see how good of a cocksucker I had gotten to be and see how much of it I could take without gagging. I also thought it would surprise the hell out of him if I could get the whole thing in my mouth. I was normally able to get 4 maybe 5 inches in my mouth, but tonight I was so relaxed that I thought nothing could hold me back from bringing Kevin pleasure. I took a little more in my mouth with each suck soon, I had 6 inches in there.  Kevin whined in pleasure. I could see that he was straining to look down
at me, unable to believe that I had taken this much of him in. I got to about 7 inches when I felt it hit the back of my throat. But then I went for it and got past my throat to take him all in. His body tensed as he realized that I had his whole cock in my mouth. I couldn't believe I was able to do it!

I sucked him slowly for a few minutes, taking a breath every once in a while, and looking up at him to see the waves of pleasure wash across his face. I slid down off him, but still kept sucking on that huge rod. I turned my body hoping that he would get the signal that I wanted to 69 with him. I ad been dying to try that since we first sucked each other off! He got the message loud and clear, and took my shorts off, throwing them across the room, and began to suck my cock. We were now side by side sucking on each other. If I positioned my head just the right way. I could suck him off and see him sucking me at the same time. It got to the point where we were almost in competition to see who cold give the other more pleasure. When I sucked him hard, he sucked me harder. When he drooled all over my cock, my mouth got wetter for him. Soon we were pumping our dicks into each other's mouths. He put his arms around me and rolled over onto his back, never taking my cock out of his mouth. I was now on top of him, and this gave him more room to explore my ass. He played with the hole with the tip of his finger. It felt so good I had to suck him harder. He probed my butt a little more, and I practically couldn't stand the shockwaves of pleasure it sent through my body. He took my cock out of his mouth and pushed my ass up a little. I wasn't about to let his dick free of my mouth yet. He began to kiss around my butthole. Then I felt something wet and hot slip up against my pucker. He was licking my asshole! I couldn't believe this shit was happening!  KEVIN LICKED MY ASSHOLE! He flicked his tongue against my hole a little harder and began to stick his tongue IN MY HOLE!!!! Right IN it! The feeling was intense! I couldn't help but whimper like a puppy as I
sucked his cock harder then I ever sucked before. At one point he got my heart racing so hard that I had to stop sucking because I thought I was going to pass out. I held his cock in my hand, and it was totally shiny
and slick from all my spit so I jerked it off hard and kept saying oh god Kevin. And moaning and stuff. He took his tongue out and put a finger in its place. He was finger fucking me good when I reached over into my pants pocket and got the KY. I handed it to him and he squirted it onto his index finger. I couldn't believe how easily it slid in. It felt so smooth and hot and AWESOME.

I sucked on his cock slow as he got another finger down my hole. He was sliding it in and out at the same rate I was sucking his dick. By the time he managed to open me up enough to get a third finger in, I knew I was ready. I took his cock out of my mouth only long enough to say I'm ready Kevin. With that, he lightly pushed me forward and slid out from underneath me. I was on all fours, and reached down and started stroking my cock. Reached down and picked up the tube of KY, and then squirted some of it on his dick. I looked back at him to see the awesome sight of him stroking his cock, getting it all slick and ready to put into me. I wanted him in me so bad right at that moment. He got up behind me and pressed his tip against my hole. He swirled it around my hole a couple of times and I said please put it in Kevin. He leaned down on top of me, and pressed it hard against the hole. His chest and stomach were right against me, while his cock slowly pushed its way against my opening. He
whispered gently, are you ready, baby? I said yes, please Kevin, put it in, I want you in me now. He pushed harder against my hole and got the whole head inside. I threw my head back and arched my back from the pain
that was quickly followed by agonizing joy. He was slow and gentle as always. He lightly kissed my shoulder and neck as he slowly pushed his way in. I felt like I was sitting on a baseball bat, but had no intention of telling him to stop. He whispered are you ok baby? Uh-huh I said barely bale to speak. I reached down and put my hand around my cock, and it felt bigger than it ever felt in my hand.

Kevin was soon all the way in my. He was whispering in my ear how good it felt and how much he loves me. I wanted to tell him the same things but all I could get out were wails of elation. Then just when I thought it
couldn't feel any better, he started stroking in and out. He was manipulating my prostate now, I thought. I never wanted him to stop. He reached around and held my dick firmly in his hand as he fucked my ass.  His deep groans told me that he was enjoying when he was doing. As I got more comfortable with him inside my tight little cavern and I started to loosen up around him, he picked up his pace a little. I NEVER FELT ANYTHING THIS INTENSE IN MY LIFE AND DIDN'T WANT IT TO END. I pushed back against him until I felt his balls slapping against my ass, and his pubes lightly tickling my lower back.

He stopped, only for a moment, and without taking his dick out of my hole, picked me up and turned me around so that I was now facing him, and laid me gently down on my back. He said I want to see your face. With his
cock still in my ass, he leaned in and kissed me hard. I put my arms around him hard and kissed him deeply. I was his forever.

He leaned up, and put my ankles up on his shoulders. He slowly started to fuck me again. From this angle it was easier for me to jerk off my cock.  I think that having him inside me made my dick bigger somehow. He stroked
my hole with his cock, looking down at me, smiling and making faces of pleasure. I love you I finally was bale to say to him. I love you Kevin.  I love you too Charles, he answered. He turned his head to the side and was licking and kissing my legs.

We stayed in this position forever. I glanced over at the clock and realized that about 45 minutes had passed since we started. It seemed like longer, but at the same time not nearly long enough. I could see that Kevin was wearing himself out, and was covered with sweat from his hard pounding of my butt hole and the fire burning next to us. He finally couldn't keep up this motion anymore, and said I have to rest. I reluctantly let go of my grip on his cock with my hole, and he flopped down on the rug, his head hitting the pillow perfectly. I looked over at him, his chest rising and falling form his quickened pulse, the sweat making his skin glow under the fire-light. I rolled over to him, and laid next to him with my leg up over his still steel-hard cock. I kissed him on the cheek, and got an idea. I said, let me do the work now, baby.

I sat up and laid down on top of him. I positioned myself so that his cock was snuggled right up against my ass crack. I leaned down and kissed him hard. His arms were down at his sides, and now I felt in control. I slid up a little, and then back down so that his dick was pressed against my waiting hole. Without even touching me, his dick found my hole like a snake looking for its home. I backed down further on it and got it about halfway in. I sat up, and lowered myself the rest of the way down. When I was completely sitting on his body I knew that it was all the way in. I
could feel the muscles inside my ass quivering and stroking it without my even moving. Kevin looked up at me with a look of amazement on his face.  I was letting my ass suck his cock. I began to slide up and down. Each
time I went down, my balls would brush against his stomach hairs.  

Kevin reached up and began to stroke my cock. He held his hand still and as I fucked his fingers, each motion would make my asshole stroke his cock. With his other hand, he ran his fingers up and down my chest. Every
once in a while he would grab my pectoral muscle and squeeze it smoothly.  I had my back arched, and leaned back so far I had my hands on his thighs. I put all my energy into raising my hips up and down. I had no
idea the human body could endure such pleasure. The intensity was increasing, and the tightness of my ass was beginning to feel really tingly, almost numbingly exquisite. I could no longer control the motions of my body. I was on auto-pilot. I was moaning loudly. If I was back in Balto moaning this loud, the whole block would have been wondering what the hell was going on. Kevin began to moan in kind, and my hopes that we would once again cum together were coming to fruition. I began shaking, almost convulsing on top of him. He stroked my cock harder. His dick was getting bigger inside of me. The moment was coming. I couldn't stop now if I wanted to. I could feel the precum squirting into my hole, as I did the same down Kevin's hand. MAN IT WAS INTENSE! I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO START SPEAKING IN TONGUES! Then, all of a sudden, it happened. Kevin and
I came for each other. His hot load filling up my insides, mine shooting straight up 10 feet into the air and raining down on the both of us.

BEST................. ORGASM.................... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

I was practically screaming like a bitch as Kevin fed my butt his jizz.  We were moaning and groaning in unison.

After squirting more cum than I ever thought I could hold in my body at once. I began to come down off the intense high I had just reached. We both struggled to regain our breath as I pulled up off his dick. My body was weak and drenched with perspiration. I laid down on top of him and could feel that all his chest and stomach hair was matted with sweat. Oh my god... oh my god I kept saying. I wanted to kiss him but we were both too out of breath to kiss. I slid down off him and laid next to him with my leg and arm still up over his body. His arm was wrapped tightly around me. He turned his head and our faces were fraction of an inch apart. I love you, Charles, he said. I love you too, Kevin I answered. We laid silently, blissfully for a few minutes, when I began to shiver. He pulled
the blanket up over us and we went to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up to the sun shining in the room, and found that Kev and I were still in the same position that we were after what we did the night before. I looked up at the clock and saw that it was only 7:45 a.m., so I put my head down on Kevin's chest and went back to sleep.

It didn't seem like much longer before I heard a little voice giggling.  I opened my eyes slowly and saw the faint image of a little kid standing above us. It was Todd, and he was standing over us. Why are you naked, he said to me. I sat silently and didn't move. I think that I thought if I didn't move, he wouldn't see me. But he just started laughing again. I shook Kevin's chest as I realized what was happening. His parents were home early. He wasn't awaked by me, but rather by his Mother's scream as she came into the room. What are you doing, she creamed. I didn't know what to do but Kevin jumped up and pulled on his underwear. Mom, don't freak out it's not what it looks like he was pleading with her. Mr. Bristol quickly came into the room and his jaw nearly dropped to the
floor. He looked at me naked on the floor and said what are you doing you little faggot. I got up and started pulling on my clothes. There was no denying what was going on, so I just calmly got dressed as Mr. Bristol shouted at me in the loudest voice I ever heard anyone use. I couldn't even tell what he was saying, it was so loud. Mrs. Bristol was crying and pushing her other son into the kitchen as Kevin was trying to calm his parents down, saying that it wasn't what it looked like. I was wondering how the hell he would explain what it was then.
I got all my clothes and picked up my bag as Mr. Bristol was still yelling at me. I went past Mrs. Bristol who looked at me as I walked by with her eyes all red and a look like she was pleading with me. I don't know what she was pleading for, but that was the look anyway.

I walked out the door and started towards my house. The morning was quiet, and I could hear the Bristols yelling relentlessly at each other.  The further I got from their house, the more their yelling was muffled by the sounds of the snow crunching under my boots.

I got to my house and realized that I would probably never be able to see Kevin again. I finally found the one and only person in the world who really understood me... who really cared about me... and now that was the end of it.

When I walked in, Dad and Matt were just cooking breakfast, and were surprised to see me home so early. When they asked why I was home, I said I'm not feeling well, I just want to go up to my room. Matt asked if I needed anything and I just said no, I just want to lay down.

When I got to my room I started crying. Too many things were going through my head all at once. The Bristols... school... Kevin... the smell of the inside of his truck...

I just heard Mr. Bristol's car pull into the driveway. He slammed the door and jumped up on the porch and started pounding on the door. My Dad and Matt let him in, and I could hear him using words like fag and homo and sissy and how did he turn my son into that and all kinds of other shit.  My Dad and Matt tried arguing back but Mr. Bristol hardly let them have a word in edgewise.

I'm going to jump out of my window and go see Kevin one last time. I don't have to leave a note for anyone because this journal will explain everything.


Excerpt from "The Times Argus" newspaper, Montpelier, Vermont, January 9, 1988.

"... the two boys from the rural northern town of Westfalia were last seen in the 1979 Blue Ford pickup truck which belonged to the older youth. Sources say that the two had been having a sexual relationship when confronted by the older youth's parents.

"Anyone with information regarding the missing teens should contact the Westfalia Police Department."

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