Bryce & Damon IV

Chapter 25, Troubling Thoughts

On Thursday morning Bryce welcomed the workout with Curtis and Roland.  He was still feeling that things were not going well, but he could not exactly define where the problems were.  He was not ready to discuss his doubts with those two, but working out with them was a release which put him in a better mood for dealing with the day and its stresses.  When their time at the gym was over, Roland remarked, “You seemed almost as though you were at war with the equipment this morning, Bryce.”

“I’ve got some things on my mind.  I guess I was taking it out on the machines,” Bryce admitted.

“Better than taking it out on people, like me, for example,” his pledge commented.

“If it looks like I’m doing that, you have my permission to tell me so,” Bryce assured him.

“So far, so good,” Roland replied.

During their Art History class, Dr. Padgett was still talking about the Greeks.  She obviously had a great admiration for classical Greek civilization, so now it was the sculpture of the period which was being discussed, accompanied by illustrations shown on a screen which dropped down from the ceiling and was controlled from a computer.  Another student, presumably someone who had worked with the instructor before, was operating the computer, and flashed illustrations on the screen as Dr. Padgett mentioned them.  That was interesting to Bryce both in terms of the material itself, but also in terms of the presentation.  He considered how this could be applied to his chosen field of English history.  Would it help students understand the English Civil War, for example, to have illustrations of King Charles and Cromwell on a screen in front of the class?  If he were going to be a teacher, he had to consider such things, and learn both the positive and the negative from his own teachers.

Between 10:30 and 1:30 Bryce was free, and Damon was also until his Spanish class at 1:00.  Both of them went to the library to continue work on their various term papers, and just to put in some time studying for their up-coming classes.  At lunch time, they again connected with Caroline Koehler, who once again took pity on Bryce, and spent at least as much time talking about Mozart as she did about cooking.  Shortly before 1:00, Beau Lyle came into the cafeteria, so Bryce introduced him to Caroline.

“Kay-ler?” Beau said, “I don’t think I know anyone else by that name.”

“It’s a German name,” Caroline said, “spelled K O E H L E R.”

“Oh, I know someone who went to high school with me who had that name, but he pronounced it Coal-er.”

“We’ll have to consult your cousin about the proper German pronunciation,” Bryce suggested to Beau.

“There are several branches of my family, and we don’t all pronounce it the same way,” Caroline said.  “There is no exact English equivalent of the German pronunciation.  And not everyone with that name is necessarily related.  It’s an occupational name.  The English equivalent is Collier, and it means a coal miner.”

“Fascinating,” Bryce declared.  “Evidently, the Germans, like the English, get most of their family names from four sources: occupational names like Caroline’s, patronymics like Mendelssohn, descriptive names like Schwartz, and place names like Ratzinger.”

“You’ll have to excuse Bryce,” Damon said.  “He’s kind of weird when it comes to people’s names.”

“Yeah, I remember that from the horse show,” Beau confirmed.

Bryce began to defend himself, then, seeing the looks in the eyes of his friends, threw up his hands and gave up.  For now, anyway.

Damon put an arm over his shoulder and said, “Don’t take it too hard.  We’re all entitled to one or two peculiarities.”

“If you mean that as something comforting, it’s a total failure,” Bryce replied, “but knowing you, I suspect you meant it to needle me.”

“Moi?” Damon acted surprised.

Everyone laughed.

After Damon departed to his Spanish class, Bryce thought to check the campus Post Office.  There he found a response to an earlier request to the Illinois vital statistics people for information on the family of Cpl. Benjamin Ernest Watson.  He was presented with birth and death certificates for all those mentioned in the obituary, and with marriage licenses for the parents and three of the children.  More data to add to his collection of what he hoped would be a genealogical record of Damon’s background.

In the Renaissance class, Dr. Belzi was continuing his presentation on the political situation of Italy during the later fourteenth and early fifteenth centuries.  He proposed that the uncertainty of the times was a catalyst for the development of modern diplomacy.  It was important that governments not only have contact when a treaty was being signed, or some similar event, as in the past, but on an on-going basis, in case the powers were plotting against the home government.  There were exiles from just about everywhere, representing the ousted factions in the various towns.  Were they being encouraged by this or that prince?  And so, the phenomenon of the resident ambassador arose – someone more or less permanently residing in a foreign land and sending information back to his home government – a kind of licensed spy.  With some relish, Dr. Belzi repeated the old saying that “an ambassador is a person sent to lie abroad for his country.”  He then paused to see whether his students got the several levels of meaning, and was pleased that at least some, including both Bryce and Marc Rimbault, did so.

That evening, the French study group met.  Dr. Anjot had spent so much time on Molière, and was not yet finished with him, that it was a good bet he would be on the mid-term exam, which was coming up next week.  Consequently, the discussion was on that writer and his most significant plays, Les Précieuses ridicules (1659), Tartuffe, ou l’Imposteur (1664). Le Misanthrope (1666), Le Médecin malgré lui (also 1666), L’Avare, ou L’École du mensonge (1668), Le Bourgeois gentilhomme (1670), and Le Malade imaginaire (1673).  That was quite a list, seven major plays, not to mention all the lesser ones, which had to be digested prior to mid-term.  In each play, there was some person who represented a type who was being satirized.  The pretentious society woman, the hypocrite, the hater of humanity, the clod pushed into prominence, the miser, the social climber, and the hypochondriac all came in for the devastating wit of Molière.

By the time the study group broke up, Bryce felt he knew the various plays better, but something was missing.  What was it that tied all these plays together?  There was the obvious, the making fun of social types, what in the literature of contemporary England was called the comedy of manners.  But how did this fit into the emphasis on balance in the classical outlook of the times?  That deserved further consideration.

In class on Friday morning, Dr. Anjot gave him the answer to his question.  Each play was not focused solely on the title character, the type who was being satirized.  There was also in each play a character called “le raisonneur” – the reasoner.  This was a critic of the title character, but someone who was not involved, kind of standing aside and commenting on the action.  As such, he was often not an attractive character, but kind of cold and cynical.  The classical balance lay in the interplay between the two, between the title character and the reasoner.  It was a dynamic balance, which moved the action forward, but gave neither side a victory in the resolution eventually arrived at.  That was a great insight to Bryce.  It seemed to apply not only to the plays of Molière, not only to the French literature of the seventeenth century, but to human life in general.  Humans have a tendency to go to extremes, represented on the one hand by the egotists and followers of fads represented by the title characters, and on the other hand by the cynical uninvolved observer represented by the reasoner.  True humanity, and true satisfaction or fulfillment lay in a balance between the extremes.  It was Aristotle’s golden mean once again.

Later that afternoon, Dr. Dickinson was expanding on the impact the crusades had on England.  The role of King Richard as a leading crusader definitely enhanced the prestige of the English crown with not only his own subjects, but the peoples of the West in general.  Richard was one of the most popular of medieval kings, despite the fact that he spent only about six months of his ten year reign in England.  According to 1066 and All That, Richard “went roaring about the Desert making ferocious attacks on the Saladins and the Paladins.”  It was also generally considered a great scandal that first Duke Leopold of Austria, and then the Holy Roman Emperor Henry VI actually imprisoned a crusader and held him for ransom.  This went counter to the values of society.  Hence, when Richard died shortly after his release, he was definitely looked upon as a hero.  All this was grist for Bryce’s paper, but he was going into other aspects of the King’s reputation, not just in his own day, but later as well.

But the crusades had far greater importance than the activities of King Richard during and after the Third Crusade.  By syphoning off some of the excess energy of restless feudal lords, the crusades significantly aided in the process of creating stronger national governments, not only in England, but across the West.  They also contributed to a major rise in trade between East and West, and, while it did not directly affect England, to the establishment of the Italian city-states as naval powers, recovering control of the Mediterranean from the enemy.  The negative impact was felt largely in the Levant, where there had still been a majority Christian population when the crusades began at the end of the eleventh century, but reacting to these invasions from the West, the native Moslem governments became less and less tolerant, oppressing their Christian subjects, leading to a majority Moslem population by the time the crusades came to a close at the end of the thirteenth century.

Bryce considered that the advance of Islam was, indeed, a threat to the very existence of Western Civilization, as he now understood it thanks in part to Dr. Caldwell.  The kind of fanaticism found in the Middle Ages in the assassins and, somewhat later, the Janissaries, and in modern times in the Islamist extremists who carried out terrorist activities, like blowing up buildings and themselves, was definitely incompatible with the best aspects of Western Civilization.  In the West, there are always critics of the extremists in our own society.  Why is it that there are no critics of the extremists from within Islamic society?  That seems to be a major difference between the two civilizations.  Why is it then, that the public media seem to be hostile to the upholders of Western Civilization, and very careful to present only the positive aspects about alien cultures?  Bryce had no answer to that question.  Not at this time, anyway.

Following his class, Bryce retreated for a time to the Sigma Alpha Tau fraternity house, even though he could not meet his pledge as agreed upon.  Roland had been asked to see his academic advisor at that time, and that took precedence over fraternity business.  Bryce was at loose ends, and so he just sat with a beer and his thoughts, seeking a bit of quiet and lack of conflict in order to consider the issues which were troubling him.  Was it just him?  Was it his ego which was the problem?  Did everything have to conform to his ideas in order to be valid?  Again, Bryce resolved to speak to Father Miller about his ego and the possibility that it was the sin of pride which was bothering him.  That, in turn, led to musings on the seven deadly sins.  The final list had been compiled in that very disturbing period of the Late Middle Ages, although earlier versions go back at least to Pope Gregory the Great around 600.  ‘Deadly’ sins was another translation usually rendered as ‘mortal’ sins, that is, sins which killed the soul.  Something really serious in a spiritual context.  What was the list?  Pride always came first, but Bryce could not remember in what order the others came.  Envy, Greed, Anger, Sloth, Gluttony, and the ever popular Lust.  Letting any one of these sins dominate one was a sure formula for disaster, spiritually speaking.  Contrary to what a lot of folks seemed to think, Bryce did not consider lust the dominant sin of his times, but was undecided whether it was greed or pride.  And spiritually speaking the matter of sin involved one’s eternal salvation.  Will one spent eternity in happiness or in torment?  A lot of people seemed to be of the opinion that everyone was destined for happiness, regardless of their beliefs or their actions while on earth.  That kind of assumed that God and Jesus, as seen in the Bible, and particularly in the Gospels, were liars.  Bryce did not understand how people could come to that conclusion, unless they were just fooling themselves, accepting what was most convenient, with no real concern for the truth.  That was why he needed Father Miller.  That was why he needed that outside control he spoke to Damon about.  Something outside himself which kept him connected to reality, not allowing himself to fall into the egotistical error of believing that whatever suited him was necessarily true.

While pondering all this, Bryce found that he had absorbed two beers.  It was his pledge, Roland Lyle, who came upon him as he sat indulging his uncertainties, who pointed this out.  Seeing Roland, Bryce said, “How about getting me another beer?”

Being a conscientious as well as a faithful pledge, Roland asked, “Are you sure you need another.  I see two empties next to your chair, and it’s only four o’clock.”

That jerked Bryce up.  He realized he was letting his worries dominate things, and in the absence of concentration on the immediate, he was overdoing it.  “Thanks for being the kind of pledge who can go beyond the surface, and see what is really there,” he commended Roland.

“Thank you for being the kind of mentor who can accept my impertinent observations,” Roland replied with a grin.

“For that, you have to recite the fraternity motto and sing the fraternity anthem, not once, but twice,” Bryce replied with a grin.

“You are a real taskmaster.  A dictator.  A tyrant.  Sir,” Roland said with another grin.  He then proceeded to recite, “The motto of Sigma Alpha Tau is copula inrupta, which means ‘the unbroken chain’ linking brothers today to the past and to the future.  The motto of Sigma Alpha Tau is copula inrupta, which means ‘the unbroken chain’ linking brothers today to the past and to the future.” Roland then sang the fraternity hymn, not once but twice, exhibiting a fine singing voice.  When he completed the second time, he saluted Bryce and ended with, “Sir!”

“Thanks, Roland.  I’m in a foul mood today, in case you haven’t noticed.  I have a number of things on my mind.  I really don’t mean to take it out on you,” Bryce semi-apologized.

“If this is the worse you can do to me all semester, I think I’m lucky,” Roland smiled.

“Oh?  Do you want me to devise more infernal torments?” Bryce kidded.

“No, Sir!  No way, Sir!” Roland immediately responded.

Bryce grinned.  “I think that’s enough for now.  You may relax.  In fact, I think you raised my spirits enough that we can share that beer I asked for earlier.  Do you think I’m able to handle it?”

Roland gave him an appraising look.  “You do seem in better spirits than before, so I guess I can trust you with one more,” he quipped.  He then disappeared before Bryce could think of an appropriate comeback.

While he sat and waited, Bryce mused on the fact that he was very fortunate to have a pledge like Roland, someone he could joke with, but who also had a serious side, and who had the integrity to tell him when he thought he had enough.  By the time he had completed this appreciation, the subject of his musings was back with two beers.

“What’s the problem?” Roland asked, clearly concerned.

“Damon says I think too much.  There are times when I get to wondering whether I am on the right path, following the road laid out for me by God, or whether I am simply indulging my personal preferences.  When I get in that mood, I’m impossible to live with,” Bryce commended.

“Then I’m glad Damon is the one living with you,” Roland cheekily replied.

Bryce gave him an exasperated look.  “It’s because of people like you that I have all these doubts.  You keep pulling me back to reality.”

“Just part of the service pledges are here for,” Roland replied.

Bryce looked at his pledge.  He had come to respect Roland as a person of integrity, who would tell him the truth, and someone who was more than a mere surface individual, reflecting the leading trends around him and the fads of the day.  He decided to take a chance.

“Do you think having some kind of religion is important?” he asked.

Roland recognized that this was important, not just a toss away question from his mentor.  He really liked Bryce, and in some ways admired him, and knew he was bothered in some way he did not quite understand.  He also knew that Bryce would not appreciate a trite, superficial response.

“John Luke is Lutheran,” Roland began.  “I’m Episcopalian.  We might not be the most dedicated Christians, but I don’t think either of us would be comfortable jettisoning that part of our lives.  A lot of kids don’t think about such things.  They just go along with the crowd, or whatever is convenient.  But I think we all need something to give us some sense of who we are, and where we fit into the grand scheme of things.  That means we have to have a set of values based on something other than self-interest.  If we don’t we can’t be relied on in a crisis.  And if our values are in conflict with those of the greater society, we are a problem.  I don’t mean we have to be conformists.  But if we are too far from the basic values of our society, then we simply don’t belong.  I think, from a purely utilitarian perspective, if nothing else, we need a religion, and a relationship to others, which is in harmony with our basic society as a whole.  Not the latest society fad, but American society as it historically developed.  Otherwise, we’re not a nation, but just a collection of individuals who happen to live in the same locality.”  Roland then grinned at himself.  “How’s that for a freshman history major?”

Bryce looked up with gratitude.  “Thanks.  It’s good to know that I’m not the only one who thinks religion is important.  It’s been bothering me lately.  I kind of know that some of the brothers think I’m too religious, or too concerned about this, but I really do think it’s a major question we all have to deal with.  So far, my answers to that question are not the same as …,” Bryce paused.  He did not want to involve Roland in any disagreement between himself and Damon.  “… as a lot of kids today,” he lamely finished.

“Bryce,” Roland said, looking his mentor squarely in the face, “some of the brothers might make fun of you, and a lot of them might not agree with you, but I haven’t heard any of them say anything which indicates they think you’re some kind of fanatic, like the fundamentalist who buttonholes you and insists on knowing whether you’re saved.  Generally, I get the impression that the other brothers respect you.  You worry too much.”

Bryce broke into a wide grin.  “I’m very lucky to have you as a pledge, Roland.  Thanks.  Damon says some of the same things.  Maybe you’re both right.  Maybe I do over-analyze things.”

About that time, Damon himself appeared.

“Is this a mentor/pledge thing, or can I interrupt?” Damon asked.

Glancing at Roland, Bryce answered, “I think the mentor/pledge thing is finished for now.  What’s up?”

“We did have plans to visit El Rincon Latino this evening.  Have you forgotten?” Damon asked.

“Oh, geez!  Is it that late?” Bryce asked, looking at this watch.  “Yeah, I guess I lost track of time.  Again.  Let’s get back to the apartment, and then set off for the restaurant.”

“I feel like a baby sitter sometimes,” Damon humorously complained.

Roland simply grinned.

“Watch it,” Bryce admonished his pledge.  “A few more smirks like that and I’ll have you singing the anthem all night.”  Bryce then gave Roland a friendly grip on the arm and an appreciative look, and left with his partner.

At the restaurant, Bryce and Damon were naturally seated in Mike’s section.  He appeared, gave them a disgusted look, and said, “What sin have I committed to result in this penance?”

“Now Uncle Miguel, behave yourself.  Is that any way to greet a regular customer?” Bryce teased.

At the term ‘Uncle Miguel’ Mike immediately softened.  “You know, it really is great to have a new kid in the family.  It has really brought out sides of my brother I never knew before.  There’s a lot more to him than I realized.”

“Only one of many benefits of being an uncle,” Bryce replied.  “You should see Damon when we go to visit his sister’s kids in Chicago.  He is definitely Uncle Damon then, and nothing comes between him and his nephew Nathan.”

“And why should it?” Damon demanded.  “Just because you’re deprived in this respect does not mean you get to take it out on us more fortunate types.”

“Are you guys going to order?” Mike asked, bringing them down to the immediate.

“Oh, you want an order, do you?” Bryce kidded.

“It’s customary when you come into a restaurant,” Mike noted.

So they did order, and Mike departed for the time being.

“Am I really different when I’m with Vanessa’s kids?” Damon asked.

“Yeah.  You’re very … what?  Protective?  Mentoring?  You’re Uncle Damon.  I like seeing you that way,” Bryce replied.

“Kids are important,” Damon declared.  “Taking advantage of kids, depriving them of opportunities, abusing them, is one of the worst crimes I can imagine.”

“I can’t argue with that,” Bryce agreed.  “With every new child, we get another chance to get it right.  Oh, and from the hints I’m getting from home, I may not be the only one disadvantaged for too much longer.  Nan is definitely serious about that Irishman of hers.”

“When can I call you Uncle Bryce?” Damon kidded.

“No answer as yet.  I did send her a rather pointed account of Kyle and Kathy, as Mom seems worried that there will be a premature wedding in Lincoln.  Nan basically told me to mind my own business, but assured me she and Brian are being responsible.  But something is in the air out there on the Great Plains,” Bryce replied.

Even when one is confused, and even when one is troubled, some things go right, and the universe does not stop until we figure it out.