“How can you say that?” Chip yelled.
“Makes sense to me,” Bryce replied.
“You’re another of those damned liberals who are undermining the whole Church, trying to turn us into a moral morass just like the Episcopalians or Methodists,” Chip rejoined.
“I don’t think I’m especially liberal, and I sure don’t want to create any more problems than there already are. But as I see it, the present attitude of the hierarchy of just digging in their heels is what is creating a big part of the problem, and losing the Church thousands of souls every year,” Bryce defended himself.
“If people leave because the bishops are teaching the truth, then they’re going to hell anyway. What the Church needs is a cleansing, getting rid of the pinko pseudo-Catholics, and working to spread the true faith.”
By this time Chip was yelling, while Bryce was attempting to keep his cool, but having great difficulty doing so. The brothers never were close, and this was just another arena of conflict between them.
“You’re way off, Chip. I’m not questioning Church doctrine. I’m just saying that some of the rulings of the hierarchy are based on outworn and now harmful concepts,” Bryce attempted to explain his position.
“You’re denying the truth taught by the Vatican,” Chip insisted.
“But is it the truth? … or is it merely an outmoded ruling, like Friday abstinence?” Bryce insisted.
“If the Vatican says it’s so, then it’s so. I’m loyal to the magisterium,” Chip stated at a high decibel, evidently thinking that settled everything.
“That’s a really stupid approach, and completely contrary to any understanding of the history of the Church. Disciplinary rulings can and have changed over time,” Bryce the historian insisted.
“You claim you’re Catholic, and you go to church, and even receive communion, but you’re a fake, a fraud. It’s all because you’ve decided to join those disgusting perverts, and linked up with some lower class welfare cheat. I’m the one who’s maintaining the traditions of the Church,” Chip yelled.
At that, Bryce lost the cool he had been struggling with, and began to approach his brother with balled fists and mayhem in his blazing eyes. “You take that back! I won’t have you badmouthing Damon or any of my other friends!” he yelled.
At that point, their mother, who had quietly entered the room to see what all the shouting was about, intervened.
“Stop! Both of you! No! Not another word! Chip, dinner’s over, so you may leave at any time. Bryce, go out to the pool, where Damon is behaving himself. Now!”
When Martha Bryce Winslow used that tone of voice, none of her children dared argue, even though they were legally adults and entitled to their own opinions.
“Hypocrite. Secularist,” Chip mumbled as he left the room, and shortly after drove off to his apartment.
“Redneck. Robot. Birdbrain,” Bryce mumbled as he left to find his partner.
Martha sighed.
It had been like that ever since the boys entered the Winslow home on Wednesday evening. Martha had been so excited to welcome her younger son home, and she had a real affection for his partner, Damon, as well. She and her daughter, Nan, had waited impatiently at the airport there in Lincoln as the flight from Chicago landed precisely on time at 6:14. After what seemed like an eternity, Bryce and Damon deplaned, and she wept for joy as she smothered first the one, then the other in her embraces. Nan had likewise been very glad to welcome her brother and his partner, although not as openly emotional as her mother. Still, she hugged both and kissed them on the cheek.
They gathered up the boys’ luggage and took off for the Winslow home in an upscale section of town, where others were awaiting the returning travelers. Sterling Winslow, Bryce’s father, had been his usual unemotional self, but had shaken hands with both Bryce and Damon, and welcomed them back. Brian Maguire, Nan’s boyfriend, and an increasingly present part of the Winslow family picture, just grinned and slapped Bryce on the back, and gave Damon five. Before the evening was out, Nan informed her brother with something closely resembling a smirk that she and Brian got along very well indeed. In fact, she confidently predicted that by this time next year she would be Mrs. Brian Patrick Maguire.
But Chip was sulking, obviously not glad to welcome his younger brother back, and even less happy about the presence of Damon in the family home. Chip had moved out to his own apartment in the spring, but was present because his parents insisted. It had not gone well from the outset, when Chip welcomed Bryce by saying, “Well, have you finished spending Dad’s money for a while?” He then completely ignored Damon.
Dinner had been strained. Rosita, the cook, had outdone herself with a special welcoming meal, but even that did not cancel Chip’s sour influence. Every time things started to loosen up, Chip would make some comment which freeze-dried conversation. After dinner, Bryce opened some of the packages he had shipped home from his travels in Europe, and showed off some of his mementos. He also had purchased small gifts for family members, not because they needed anything he could supply, but just as a sign that he was thinking of them as he and Damon pursued their travels. Martha and Nan seemed to really appreciate the eau de Cologne Bryce purchased for them in Cologne, for example. All went well except for Chip, of course. When Bryce presented him with a ceramic tile depicting the coat of arms of the faculty of law at Paris, because he was a law student, and an alpine cap from Switzerland, because he liked hiking, Chip’s lip curled as he commented, “Tawdry tourist junk.” It went downhill from there. After Chip’s departure, these gifts had been found in the trash. Later, Bryce found the ceramic tile on his father’s desk. “I’m a lawyer, too, you know,” Sterling said when questioned.
That night, as Bryce and Damon shared Bryce’s old bedroom, Damon began to make apologies, saying he should have remained in Chicago. After all, he had family there. They had met his sister Vanessa and her son Nathan at the airport during their layover, but had come on to Lincoln without a real stop there.
“I’m really sorry me being here is causing so much trouble in your family, Bryce.”
“No. It’s not you being here that’s causing the trouble. Not at all,” Bryce insisted. “Chip is a prejudiced snob. He cannot accept the fact that I’m gay, because some of his buddies at his fraternity or at the country club might find out and make a remark about it. That would not change if you were half a world away. Let’s face it, Chip and I have never gotten along, and my coming out last fall only added fuel to an already existing fire. None of this is your fault. Now, go to sleep. I don’t know how you can even keep your eyes open after that trans-Atlantic flight and then dinner with my family. I’m exhausted.”
Bryce kissed his boyfriend, and promptly followed his own advice. He was asleep in minutes. Damon grinned. He soon followed, but he was not convinced his coming to Lincoln had been such a good idea, nonetheless.
Over the next week, everything was fine as long as Chip was absent. The argument between Bryce and Chip, which took place on Sunday after dinner, came about when Bryce mildly expressed the opinion that Father Flannigan’s sermons had not improved during his absence. For the most part, Bryce and Damon relaxed after their vacation. Why was it that vacations, which were supposed to be down times for relaxation, often left one as tired as whatever it was one was taking a vacation from? Bryce knew the answer, of course. The word “vacation” is derived from the Latin vacuus, and is related to the word “vacuum.” A vacation should mean an empty time, but our vacations are not empty. They are filled with activity, often strenuous activity. Hence, we come back exhausted. So Bryce and Damon rested up from their European vacation, and sorted through that portion of their photographs, souvenirs, and other mementos which they carried with them or had shipped to Lincoln. Others remained to be picked up in Clifton. This was not so much putting things in order as it was showing off what they had to other members of the Winslow family, and deciding what to take with them back to campus, and what to leave in Lincoln for now.
This was also a time when Bryce and Damon, but especially Bryce, came to know his sister’s boyfriend better. Or was that fiancé? No, it was not official yet. The predicted nuptials were Nan’s assessment, not anything like a ring on her finger or marriage counseling sessions at church. Bryce found that, even though he and Brian had little in common, he liked the man. Brian was a football player, but he was not the stereotypical dumb jock. Actually, Bryce should have known that his sister would not fall for a dumb jock, but you never know where Cupid’s arrows might strike. Nan was the most sensible person he knew, even if she was just a teeny bit bossy. Bryce noticed that, when Nan got too demanding, Brian just kissed her and went ahead with whatever he was doing. It seemed to work for them. Besides, Brian accepted him and Damon with no problem. Not being the stereotypical dumb jock, Brian realized that sexual orientation was not a choice, but something built in from the beginning, maybe even from the moment of conception. And, being a football player, he had been teammates with black guys since grade school. Yeah, Brian was okay. And Nan was clearly pleased that her brother thought so.
During this period, requisite visits were paid to the grandparents, of course. That had predictable results. Bryce’s paternal grandparents, James Wentworth and Alice Morton Winslow, were correct but cool, obviously not pleased with Bryce’s coming out or his choice of a partner, but at least not making an issue of it like Chip. On the other hand, his maternal grandparents, Philip Ludlow and Anne Armistead Bryce, were warm and welcoming, not passing judgement on either Bryce or Damon. They, at least, seemed to appreciate the mementos Bryce brought back for them from his travels, such as his explanation that he happened to think of them while at Burgos in Spain, and thus brought them a small statue of El Cid, for example. They seemed genuinely interested in his account of his adventures, and encouraged Damon to contribute to the conversation as well. They were also very interested in the guys’ account of their meeting with Father Long in Rome, and Bryce’s description of the seven pilgrimage churches there. After all, it was the decision of the Bryces back in the 1970s to convert to Catholicism which was responsible for his being raised in the Faith.
Another activity during this period was riding. Just as during the Thanksgiving and Christmas and early summer visits to Nebraska, Bryce insisted on getting his equine fix. As they had driven from Clifton to Lincoln in Bryce’s Mustang back in May, it was readily available for the trip to Springfield and the stables. By this time, Damon was becoming, if not proficient himself, at least accepting of his boyfriend’s affaire with the equine world. They spent an afternoon on horseback, and Bryce, at least, came back refreshed. American Saddlebreds were awesome, Bryce proclaimed. Damon was not convinced, and was definitely sore, walking awkwardly for a day. But it was one of the things he accepted because he loved Bryce.
In addition to paying courtesy visits to the grandparents, and visiting the stables, and arguing with Chip, and partly because of arguing with Chip, Bryce and Damon reviewed their plans for the period between returning from Europe and the first day of classes at Clifton. Back in May, it had been decided that the guys would spend several weeks in Nebraska, and return to Clifton, and to their rooms in Clay Hall, on August 16, the Monday prior to the first classes. However, a reassessment during those first days back home resulted in a major change of plans. It was now envisioned that the guys would rent a place off campus, and this meant returning to Clifton two weeks earlier than initially planned. The new plan required some preliminary work, including several lengthy sessions with Sterling about the details, financial and legal. Although it would be a lie to say Sterling was happy about the fact that his younger son was gay, and had chosen a black man from the Chicago ghettos as his partner, Sterling had been convinced during his visit to Clifton back in December that sexual orientation was not a choice, but a given, and that he should not attempt to dictate his son’s most significant personal decisions. He valued his relationship with Bryce more than his social hesitations. After all, the boy was over eighteen. In fact, he had celebrated his nineteenth birthday while in Europe. Although it surprised him when he realized it, he was also getting to like Damon.
And so the discussions went well. The most important decision taken at this time was that the guys would not move back into Clay Hall, the dormitory on campus where they had lived during their freshman year. Instead, they would rent an apartment off campus. This, in turn, meant that they had to get back to Clifton earlier than originally planned in order to select an appropriate apartment. There were apartments listed on line, but just knowing square footage, street address, and rental fees was not sufficient. It was necessary to actually see the property in order to know whether it would do. Sterling discussed with them how to read a rental contract, what to look for in terms of who was responsible for what, whether owner or renter, and similar things which occur to lawyers. They discussed what was a reasonable rental fee, and for what type of accommodations. By the time the guys left Lincoln, they had acquired a store of information which would proved invaluable once they reached Clifton.
In addition, Bryce privately discussed the situation in Damon’s family with his father. He knew that Damon would be embarrassed by this, and so kept these talks just between the two of them. From what he had seen before leaving for Europe, Bryce was convinced that there was a pressing need to rescue Damon’s sister Vanessa and her children from the situation in which they now lived. Growing up in a home where drugs seemed to rule the roost, and where hatred and irresponsibility dominated, could not be good for those children. Bryce had come to really like Damon’s nephew Nathan, and wanted him to have a decent chance for a good life. Sterling had many contacts in Chicago, and Bryce wanted him to use them to do something, although he was not entirely sure what.
They did intend to visit Damon’s family in Chicago before settling in Clifton for the fall semester. Not a long visit. Damon was still apprehensive that his half-brother Tyson would do him some harm if they actually met. But he did want to visit with Vanessa and her son Nathan. Those were the only members of his family with whom he felt comfortable. Vanessa had two smaller children, but Damon did not seem able to work up much enthusiasm for them, perhaps because he had not liked their fathers.
For all these reasons, a week after arriving in Lincoln, Bryce and Damon departed in a car stuffed with their belongings. The decision to rent an apartment resulted in taking much more with them than originally planned. They drove, taking turns, north and east, passing through St. Louis, where they stopped overnight and did some sightseeing, including the great arch called the Gateway Arch and the Gateway to the West. The next morning, July 30, they arrived in Chicago and rented a room at the same motel near the place where Vanessa lived where they had stayed at the beginning of the summer.
Damon called the apartment where his family lived, and once again had difficulty with his mother, who did not recognize who he was. Finally, he simply asked in a loud voice to speak with Vanessa.
“Well, why didn’t you say so?” his mother said, and evidently dropped the phone, as there was a loud ‘clunk’ before the voice of his sister appeared.
She, anyway, was delighted to know that Damon and Bryce had arrived in town as planned, and again wanted to see her and her son. Nathan, too, was anxious to see his uncle. Fortunately, Vanessa’s part-time job did not require her presence that day, and fortunately, also, Alondra, the younger sister, was willing to babysit the younger children. So, before too long, Vanessa and Nathan were once again the guests of Bryce and Damon for lunch at the restaurant not far from their motel where they had eaten before. Five year old Nathan selected a hearty meal from the children’s menu. It happened to be the same order as last time: two hotdogs, fries, and a milk shake, indicating Nathan’s partiality for hotdogs. The others had a more substantial repast. At this time, Damon presented his sister and nephew with gifts he had acquired for them during his travels. Vanessa greatly appreciated the eau de Cologne, while Nathan was ecstatic over a Roman soldier’s costume acquired in Rome and shipped to Lincoln. He insisted on trying it on, so Damon escorted him to the restroom, where he could change.
And just as last time, Bryce paid attention to Nathan while Damon caught up on family matters with his sister. When Damon and Vanessa talked to each other, they used a patois which Bryce hardly understood in any case, although she could handle standard English fairly well when speaking to him. Damon was pleased that Vanessa was still gainfully employed, even if it was a part-time job at close to minimum wage. He was especially pleased that she was taking good care of the children entrusted to her care. Quietly, Vanessa provided Damon with an account of how she had spent the money Bryce had given her last time. This reinforced the idea that she could be responsible, and really was not into drugs like others in the family. Then she launched into other family news. Although his sentence was on appeal, their brother Tyson was still in jail, which assuaged some of Damon’s fears. Their mother was still incapacitated by her drug use most of the time; their sister Wanita and her boyfriend were still missing; and their younger sister Alondra was still crazy about boys, so overall the family presented a depressing picture.
Speaking of pictures, as soon as Damon got the latest family news digested, he turned his attention back to his nephew. All through Europe, Damon had mailed postcards to Nathan from each place they visited. Nathan had with him all the postcards he had received during the summer, although Damon noted that some of the last ones, mailed from Rome, had evidently not yet arrived. Receiving postcards from foreign lands, with foreign stamps on them, had given Nathan a certain patina of being special at his day care center, which Vanessa said he exploited to the hilt. Like his Uncle Damon, Nathan was a go-getter, and would not spend his life in the projects. But now he wanted an explanation of each of the images on those postcards. That took quite a while, and seemed to interest Vanessa as much as Nathan. Bryce allowed Damon to do all the talking, only putting in his two cents worth when asked.
Only when each postcard had been thoroughly explained was Nathan willing to let his uncle off the hook. Then, he innocently asked, “Are we going to ride the Ferris wheel again?” Vanessa attempted to shush him, but Bryce immediately intervened.
“Of course. You really liked that last time, didn’t you?”
“Yeah. I was up so high I could see everything,” the boy enthusiastically answered.
Bryce noted that Nathan, like his mother and his uncle, was acquiring a facility with both the patois of the ghetto and standard English, and kind of knew what Bryce required the latter. That was a good sign as far as future prospects were concerned.
And so it was that the rest of the afternoon and early evening was again spent at the children’s museum and other attractions on Navy Pier, including the Ferris wheel. Nathan had protested mightily when told he would have to don his regular clothes for the trip, but he eventually acquiesced, doffing his Roman legionnaire’s outfit. And once again, the boy wore out his uncle and his uncle’s friend, but was asleep in the taxi when they arrived back at the motel. Vanessa, called as they left for the motel, arrived to take him home. Once again, Bryce presented Vanessa with a cash gift, after having ascertained from Damon during the day that she had carefully documented what she spent the last one on, which included clothing, food, medicines, and some toys for the four children, her three and the niece left behind by their absent sister. Once again, too, after she left with Nathan, the two guys discussed how to get Vanessa and her children out of the projects and into a more productive and satisfying life. It was only at this time that Bryce mentioned to Damon his talks with his father. After seeing Vanessa and Nathan, and hearing of their continuing struggles, Damon was willing to put aside any personal embarrassment he might feel about their situation in order to help them escape their background.
The following morning, Bryce and Damon left Chicago and drove to Clifton, stopping in Indianapolis for lunch.