Bryce & Damon in Europe
by Pertinax Carrus
Chapter 29: Rome Again, Part VII
Second Dinner with Father Long
Leaving the Libreria Babole, Bryce and Damon walked briskly, but not hurriedly, down the Corso Vittorio Emmanuele to its junction with the Via del Corso, passing on the way the Jesuit church of Il Gesù. Bryce explained that this was sort of the mother church of all Jesuits. Damon commented that it looked kind of lacking in proportion.
“Your aesthetic sense has definitely developed during your stay in Europe,” Bryce declared. “Does this remind you of anything?”
“Well, some parts don’t seem to fit with other parts,” Damon mused. Then he snapped his fingers. “Kind of like the Medici Chapel – those altars or shrines or whatever they were to the two minor Medici.”
“Great. You’re spot on. This church was designed by a couple of guys, but completed by Giocomo della Porta, the same guy who completed the dome of St. Peter’s. It was finished in 1573, as the cornerstone notes,” Bryce congratulated his partner while pointing to the cornerstone mentioned. “This is a prime example of the Mannerist style in architecture.”
“I am definitely going to take that course in Art History back home,” Damon declared.
They passed up the Via del Corso to the Via dell’Umilità, and thus to the Casa Sancta Maria. Not surprisingly, they again had to wait a few minutes before Father Long was free to join them. This time, under Gil’s direction, they walked north to the area sort of behind the Trevi Fountain to another small restaurant. Gil explained that there were many exclusive and expensive restaurants in Rome, but he was unable to afford them, so he learned about many very good but inexpensive places.
“That sounds like our friend Tony,” Damon commented, which, of course, offered enough fodder for conversation until they were settled in their dining establishment for the evening.
As they settled, Bryce said he hoped there would be no argument about his intention to cover all costs. No one responded, so he got his way. Once again, he ordered a carafe of wine as they perused their menus and selected an antipasto as well as main dishes for the evening. Damon mentioned that he had never had lamb before this trip, but he was becoming quite fond of the taste. That gave Bryce an opening to launch into the acquired tastes of his boyfriend in the arts as well, with comments on their discussion of the style of il Gesù, encountered on their way to meet Gil that evening.
“You both seem to have developed quite a bit as a result of this summer vacation,” Gil suggested.
“You’re right,” Bryce agreed. “Damon not having been exposed to most of this before has a different way of looking at things, and is full of questions, so I’ve had to think out a lot of what before I just took for granted. I learned a lot by having to explain things.”
“I’ve heard some of my best professors say the same thing. If you’re planning on an academic career, that’s something you will experience over and over. It works the same way with counseling. I’m studying pastoral theology, and a lot of that involves counseling parishioners and others who have questions about the faith. Even before coming here to Rome, I experienced that back in Lincoln,” Gil told Bryce.
“That’s only one of the things I’ve learned this summer. Have you ever heard of the Gay Village here in Rome?” Bryce asked him in return.
“Heard of it, yes, but I have no personal experience of it,” Gil replied.
“That’s where we encountered the guys Tony and Ray we were telling you about. But the point I wanted to make is this. I felt comfortable there. I felt like I was part of what was happening, because I was accepted for who I am, and I did not have to be defensive about my sexual orientation. I shared that with those around me. And I realized later that this was just like attending Mass. I feel comfortable in church because there I am accepted for who I am in another context. I do not have to be defensive about my religion, because I share that with those around me. I am accepted as another Catholic. Tony said he did not feel comfortable in church because he is an unbeliever, and I understand that, too,” Bryce attempted to explain the parallel he noted.
“Being a part of the group is a natural human desire,” Gil suggested. “In the Apostles’ Creed we say we believe in the communion of saints, which is another way of saying we like being with others like us and helping each other out.”
Damon inserted the information that, thanks to Bryce’s persuasiveness, Tony did attend Mass with them the next day.
“It was not my eloquence which got Tony to St. Peter’s,” Bryce protested, “but the fact that he knew Ray wanted him there, and the fact that he knew you, another non-believer, would be there so he would not feel all alone.”
“Maybe,” Damon said, “but Tony was very grateful when you told Ray to lay off the nagging. And I’m very grateful that you never started pressuring me.”
“In my opinion, you have done a good job of evangelization, Bryce,” Gil stated.
“Evangelization? But nothing has changed. Tony made it quite clear that he was still an unbeliever when we had dinner after the visit to St. Peter’s,” Bryce protested.
“Ah, but he went. And you have also aided evangelization by removing the negative force of Ray’s nagging. You never know what consequences these things might have,” Gil insisted. “And I’m not sure Damon, here, qualifies as a complete unbeliever, like Tony, from what I’ve seen. How about it, Damon?”
Bryce immediately turned to his partner, thinking he might get an answer to some of the questions he had been pondering for the past week.”
Damon took his time answering. “I’ve learned a great deal about the Catholic Church since we landed in Lisbon six and a half weeks ago. There’s a lot I admire. I realize how very important it is to Bryce to be part of something stretching back two thousand years, that ‘communion of saints’ thing you mentioned, and I envy him that feeling of belonging. I appreciate it that the Church gives Bryce a sense of purpose as well, and I agree that it’s important to have some meaning to life other than just existing for the moment. I admire the cultural achievements I see in the churches, the paintings, the statues, and the like. I have no doubt that a good part of that was inspired by your faith. I also admire the social aspects of your church, like what we talked about in Paris with St. Vincent de Paul. I can understand why someone like Bryce, who was raised in the Catholic faith, would never want to leave it. But it’s different for someone coming to it from the outside. I’m sorry if this upsets anyone, but I can’t see joining a group led by people who hate me.”
Gil and Bryce simultaneously tried to object to this view of the situation, but Damon was not convinced.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard it all before. Hate the sin, but love the sinner. Well, let me tell you, it works out to the same thing in practice, no matter what you say. As long as your leaders keep telling me I’m ‘unnatural’ and ‘inherently disordered,’ you can forget about me joining the Catholic Church,” Damon declared. “I’ll keep attending Mass with Bryce if he wants, and I’ll pray to God. That is a change this vacation trip has brought about. Now, I’m sure there is a God. But that’s as far as I’m willing to go.”
After a few more comments, they all three agreed to shelve this issue until the indefinite future. For the remainder of the meal, they discussed Naples and other sites visited by the two travelers, including the scavi under St. Peter’s, but steered away from matters of personal faith. Even so, Damon felt a coolness from his partner, which caused him sadness.
Later that evening over drinks at the hotel bar, Damon returned to the issue at least briefly. Noting that Bryce had been somewhat cooler towards him since his declaration, he said, “I’m sorry if what I said disappoints you.”
“Well, yes. I can’t deny it. I am disappointed. But not upset,” Bryce insisted. “I do understand where you’re coming from. I can’t help but wonder how many people have been driven out of the Church by the narrowness and inflexibility of the hierarchy on sexual matters, and how many like you have been dissuaded from entering. And I also wonder how those leaders will be judged for that by God,” Bryce unhappily commented.
Although Bryce claimed he was not upset, he was still more distant and less loving as they prepared for bed on this penultimate night in Rome. It affected him more than he wanted to admit.
St. Mary Major
The next morning, beginning their last full day in Rome, Bryce wanted to complete his pilgrimage to the seven major churches with a visit to St. Mary Major, and Damon agreeably went along. After breakfast they set out, walking down to the Piazza Cavour, across the Ponte Cavour, through the Via Condotti where they had enjoyed shopping the day before, through the Piazza di Spagna, and then down the Via Sistina. Along the way they passed the Triton Fountain in the Piazza Barberini, where Bryce informed Damon that the piazza and the neighboring palace were not named for the barbarians, as he thought, but for the Barberini family. Maffeo Cardinal Barberini became Pope Urban VIII in 1623. Because of the use of ancient monuments to provide materials for some building projects, the enemies of the Barberini made the same pun as Damon had unknowingly made, saying, Quod non fecerunt barbari, fecerunt Berberini, that is, “What the barbarians did not do, the Barberini did.” In addition to the extensive commissions given Bernini for the Church, Urban also authorized him to complete the Palazzo Barberini after the death of the previous architect, Carlo Maderno in 1629. Maderno was the artist who completed the façade of St. Peter’s, and who was being assisted at the Palazzo by his nephew Francesco Boromini. This preference for Bernini fueled the rivalry between the two architects which dominated mid-seventeenth century Rome. Today, the Palazzo Barberini houses the National Gallery of Ancient Art.
From the Piazza Barberini they diverged from the direct route to Santa Maria Maggiore to visit Santa Maria della Vittoria, so named to celebrate the Catholic victory at the Battle of the White Mountain in 1620. That church also contained the standards captured after the Christian victory over the Turks at the siege of Vienna in 1683. But the real purpose of the visit was another of Bernini’s sculptural triumphs, the statue of Saint Teresa in Ecstasy in the Coronaro Chapel.
As they stood before the sculpture, Damon whispered in awe, “She looks like she’s having an orgasm.”
“I know,” Bryce whispered. “That’s what I thought the last time I saw her, too. I love it! In my opinion, this is another example of how wrong the hierarchy are on sexual matters. Both in the writings of St. Teresa of Avila and in this depiction by Bernini, the experience of communion with the divine is equated to sexual ecstasy. To put it in language the hierarchy would not even understand, much less approve, God is fucking St. Teresa. Just look at her face, and there can be no doubt about it.”
“Another example of the power of this guy Bernini, whom I had never even heard of before we made this trip. How can anyone work marble to make it so mobile, so life-like? He really is a genius,” Damon said, agreeing with thousands before him.
Inspired, perhaps, by the ambiance, Bryce turned to his boyfriend. “I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass since last night. I guess what you said disappointed me more than I realized. I’ll get over it. You know I’d never want you to join the Church just to please me, don’t you?”
“I know. I meant what I said before about you not pressuring me. And I understand that, if I could make the commitment, it would bring us closer together. But I just can’t see it at present, Bryce.”
They sealed their understanding with a kiss, witnessed by St. Teresa.
From Santa Maria della Vittoria they walked to the Piazza della Republica, which borders on the Baths of Diocletian, part of which houses the Church of Santa Maria degli Angeli. They did not stop there, however, but passed down the Via Torino to the Piazza Santa Maria Maggiore, which crowns the Esqueline hill, another of the seven hills of ancient Rome. According to legend, the site of the church was indicated by a miraculous snowfall on August 5, at the height of the Roman summer. Another name for the church is St. Mary of the Snows, or Santa Maria ad Nives. The pope at the time was Liberius (352-366), who, at least temporarily and under pressure from the Roman Emperor Constantius II, subscribed to the Arian heresy, illustrating that popes in their private capacity can err just like the rest of us. At least the core of the present structure was built under Pope Sixtus III (432-440), although there have been many later additions. Pope Sixtus chose rebuilding this church as a way of announcing his adherence to the decisions of the Council of Ephesus. In 431 that Council proclaimed the Blessed Virgin to be Theotokos, the God-bearer, usually rendered simply as the Mother of God. Of all the churches in Rome dedicated to Our Lady, this is undoubtedly the most important, justifying the name Santa Maria Maggiore, St. Mary Major.
In the nave are impressive mosaics from the fifth century depicting the Blessed Virgin, emphasizing the association of the church with the doctrine of Ephesus, and in the upper loggia and in the apse are additional, thirteenth century, mosaics of considerable interest and beauty. The interior is the typical basilica structure, but a notable feature is the ceiling overlaid with gold. The legend repeated by tour guides says this is Inca gold presented to Ferdinand and Isabella by Christopher Columbus, and by them to the Spanish pope, Alexander VI (Rodrigo Borgia). This cannot be true, as the Inca Empire was not conquered by the Spaniards until 1534, by which time Columbus, Ferdinand, Isabella, and Alexander were all dead. In any case, it is American gold presented to the church by the Spanish monarch, probably the Emperor Charles, and is truly impressive. In recognition of this gift, the King of Spain is ex officio a member of the chapter of the basilica.
Under the high altar is the Crypt of the Nativity, which houses relics believed to be parts of the manger in which the Christ Child was laid at his birth in Bethlehem. In this same crypt is the tomb of St. Jerome, the scholar who, around the year 400, produced the first complete translation of the Bible into Latin, called the Vulgate. To the right of the high altar is the Sistine Chapel, named for Sixtus V, not Sixtus IV for whom the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican is named. At the entrance to this chapel, Bryce and Damon paused to honor the tomb of Gian-Lorenzo Bernini, whose works so adorned Rome, everywhere from St. Peter’s Square to the Saint Teresa in Ecstasy. In the Borghese Chapel is an icon known as the Salus Populi Romani, or “Salvation of the Roman People.” The image supposedly averted a visitation of the plague in the year 593. This icon of the Virgin and Child is believed by some to have been painted by the Evangelist St. Luke, one reason he is the patron saint of painters.
Leaving the basilica after their extensive tour, Damon commented, “I’m in no position to judge whether all these relics you guys have are genuine or not, but it’s clear to me that an awful lot of stuff associated with the origins of Christianity is to be found in Rome. What do others have to say about all this?”
“Well, several times I’ve mentioned doubts about the authenticity of this or that relic. I’m no expert either. But Christianity has very deep roots here, from the tombs of Saints Peter and Paul down to the present, in unbroken succession. Generally speaking, the Protestant position has been to regard all the relics and the like as superstition and fake, usually without any real basis for making that judgment. My faith is not based on these things, but they contribute to my appreciation of my heritage,” Bryce answered.
“But how can people simply dismiss so much without solid grounds for doing so?” Damon questioned.
“If you start off with the a priori assumption that the Catholic Church is a false version of Christianity, and even a manifestation of the Antichrist, as historical Protestantism did, you simply dismiss everything Roman is irrelevant to the true faith,” Bryce declared.
They completed their tour of St. Mary Major and emerged into the Roman sunlight. “In some ways, this is my favorite of all the seven pilgrim churches in Rome,” Bryce declared.
“Not St. Peter’s?” Damon questioned.
“St. Peter’s is impressive,” Bryce admitted. “But there are too many tourists at St. Peter’s. Besides, Julius II’s decision to pull down the original basilica and replace it with the present structure interrupts my sense of continuity, and you know how important that is to me.”
“Yes, I do,” Damon agreed.
The Afternoon
After the visit to St. Mary Major, Bryce suggested that there was still another place in Rome that should be visited, as this was their last chance. “I never saw the movie, but Fellini’s ‘La Dolce Vita’ was set in Rome, and everyone seems to have some kind of expectation of the city based on that film. If I understand it correctly, the theme is a contrast between the religious setting all around one and the modern and fruitless search for meaning in physical pleasure. Anyway, a lot of the action is set on the Via Veneto, not too far from here, so let’s go exploring. The only times I’ve been there have been on trips to the American embassy with my family.”
“The American embassy? It’s on the Via Veneto?” Damon questioned.
“Sure is,” Bryce responded. “Let’s go have lunch there and see what happens.”
And so they set off, retracing their steps back to Santa Maria della Vittoria, then down the Via Bissolanti to the Via Veneto. Officially, the street is named the Via Vittoria Veneto after an Italian military victory in World War I, which is sort of justified, as the Italians do not have many military victories to celebrate. Most of the Roman streets are named for local attractions or local persons, like Cicero. But, in popular parlance it is just the Via Veneto. The street boasts some of the most famous and most expensive shops in Rome. It begins at the Piazza Barberini and kind of snakes its way to the fringes of the Borghese Gardens. Bryce and Damon came out on the corner of the Via Bissolanti and Via Veneto, where the American Embassy is located, guarded by US Marines. As they had no business to conduct, they made no effort to enter, but did attempt to converse with the Marines on duty there. That was perverse, as Bryce knew the guards were supposed to be helpful, but constantly alert rather than distracted.
Nearby is the Café de Paris, featured in the Fellini film. They learned that it had been acquired by the Mafia, but then confiscated by the Italian government in 2009 as part of the efforts to combat organized crime. Also on the Via Veneto is Harry’s Bar, likewise appearing in ‘La Dolce Vita.’ One look at the prices sent Bryce and Damon searching for alternative places for lunch. Even Bryce thought it was way overpriced. There was no dearth of other venues, so the two young men had lunch on the Via Veneto, spending an hour watching the passers-by. Most of them seemed to be tourists rather than locals.
The northern end of the Via Veneto found them again at the Borghese Gardens. Bryce remembered that there was a zoo connected to those gardens somewhere, so the two went in search of exhibits more exotic than the humans seen on the Via Veneto, which would take some doing.
Continuing through the grounds of the Villa Borghese they found the Roman Bioparc, and spent the afternoon there, making faces at monkeys and admiring the antics of bears as they swam and played in the waters provided by one of the oldest public zoos in Europe. This facility was first opened in 1911, almost a hundred years before Bryce and Damon visited.
Alexanderplatz
Bryce and Damon walked back to the Hotel Cicerone, where they spent some time just hanging out in the bar, enjoying the freedom to do so before returning to the more restrictive conditions in the United States. They also did whatever packing still needed to be done for the morning. Then, they set out for the Alexanderplatz, the jazz club where they had reservations for the evening. As the club did not open until 9:00, and they did not think they could wait that late to eat, they had dinner reservations at a nearby restaurant. There they met Tony and Ray, their friends from the Gay Village. The four young men had an enjoyable dinner, again as Bryce’s guests, spending the time talking and getting better acquainted.
Then they made their way to the Alexanderplatz. Although Tony was a native Roman, he had been to the jazz locale only once before, as food and drink there were relatively expensive. They were admitted after becoming members for only six Euros each, and wound their way down a winding staircase to the lower depths where the club was located. On the walls are the autographs of past performers, many of whom Damon recognized. Thanks to the efficiency of the concierge at the Hotel Cicerone, they had a well-placed table near where the performers set up to play. As there are several spaces, divided by arches from each other, it was important to be near the performers if one wanted to hear the music and the vocalist at all well. In this respect, it reminded Bryce of their experience in Freiburg.
They spent three hours at the Alexanderplatz, enjoying both the music and the company of Tony and Ray. It was a fine conclusion to their visit to Rome, even if the drinks were overpriced. After all, Bryce’s father would be the one paying the bill. Tony and Ray were added to the list of persons with whom they wanted to remain in contact after returning to the United States. They had proven interesting companions at the Gay Village, at St. Peter’s and in Trastevere, and now at the Alexanderplatz. Ray did not have e-mail, but Tony did, and Bryce now had his address.
Bryce’s Dream
Leaving the Alexanderplatz just after midnight, the four split up, with Bryce and Damon making their way back to the Hotel Cicerone. They would be departing in the morning. Their flight did not leave until 9:40, but the process of checking out of the hotel and getting to the airport on time would take a while. Hence, Bryce again set his travel alarm for what he had described as “an ungodly hour.”
Perhaps because of his continuing disappointment at Damon’s refusal to consider entering the Church, and perhaps because of the natural tension felt before a long flight, Bryce felt uptight as he prepared for bed. He fell into an uneasy sleep, during which he experienced a dream. It seems he was on trial before a hazily perceived judge, adorned in the British manner with a wig. His accuser was a stout man with a florid face who looked a great deal like Father Flannigan, the Pastor at St. Thérèse back in Lincoln. For some time, Bryce was uncertain of what he was being accused, but eventually it emerged that his crime was his failure to bring about the conversion of his partner, Damon.
The Accuser painted a lurid picture of Damon suffering the eternal torments of hell because of Bryce’s failure. Feeling disappointed in his hopes that Damon could share this important part of his life, Bryce felt guilty. He felt as though he had failed his partner in some way. Damon’s suffering was all his fault. He found himself weeping and pleading for another chance.
Then, he realized that the Accuser was wrong. “No!” he loudly proclaimed. “I am not the one who should be on trial here. I am not the one who has made the Church unattractive to Damon. Let those who have narrowed the broad welcome of Christ answer for their deeds.”
“You did not insist. You did not compel,” the Accuser insisted.
“It is not my place to force anyone to act against conscience. Damon is a human being, just as I am. He has been endowed by our Creator with free will, just as I have been. It is this which is the glory of the human species. It is in this that we are made in the image and likeness of God. It is this which gives us dignity. I will not deprive anyone of that dignity,” Bryce announced his defense. “Again, I say, let those who have made it impossible for Damon to enter the Church while retaining his human dignity as a gay man and a Child of God be put on trial, not me.”
At that, the Accuser began to shrivel up, like a balloon with the air escaping. Bryce looked to the judge, who now was no longer hazy, but surrounded by light. He began to look familiar. The judge looked an awful lot like the face on the Shroud of Turin, the face promoted by Louis Dupont of Tours.
“Case dismissed,” the judge declared. “Go in peace.”
Bryce felt as though a great burden had been lifted from his shoulders. In his sleep, his troubled tossing disappeared, and he rolled over and embraced his partner.
The next morning, Bryce awoke before the alarm went off. He was spooned against Damon, and felt warm and knew he was where he was supposed to be. The coolness, the unease, the disappointment of the previous day and a half were gone. He nibbled on Damon’s ear, awakening him for some expression of their love before setting out on the long journey back to the United States. Their European adventure was over, but they would never be quite the same ever again.