Bryce & Damon in Europe
by Pertinax Carrus
Chapter 5, Lourdes
Lourdes
The shortest route from Pamplona to Lourdes led through the Pyrenees at the Pass of Roncesvalles, where, according to the medieval French epic Le Chanson de Roland, Charlemagne’s nephew Roland had an heroic but fatal encounter with the Moors. However, the roads were questionable, and all the sources consulted by Bryce ahead of time advised against it. So, they were crossing the border from Spain into France much farther west, on the coast of the Bay of Biscay. They would follow a more round-about route, arriving in Lourdes about three and a half hours after leaving Pamplona. As they crossed into France, Bryce breathed a sigh of relief. At last, they were in a country where a language which he understood was spoken. He even tried joking with the border guards, but he must, in his enthusiasm, have said something wrong, as he noticed them exchanging amused glances. Just before reaching Tarbes on the E80, they turned south for another dozen miles or so to reach the pilgrimage site of Lourdes. Bryce noted that in standard French, as in English, Lourdes has one syllable, but in the local dialect, as in Spanish, it has two. The original language in this region just across the mountains from Spain has many similarities with Spanish, and is in fact a dialect of the Langue d‘Oc or Provençal language. When Our Lady appeared to St. Bernadette, she identified herself by saying, Yo soy la Inmaculada Concepcion. Bernadette only imperfectly understood standard French. Today, the local dialect has mostly disappeared, thanks to insistence on standard French in the schools and on all public occasions.
Bryce and Damon arrived in the very center of town at the Hotel Saint Sauveur, only a few blocks from the entrance to the religious site, as at Fatima called a sanctuary, the Sanctuary of Our Lady of Lourdes. The hotel was an older one, dating to the early twentieth century, but very comfortable, so much so that, rather than go out to dinner, they remained at the hotel and ate at the restaurant there. As the legal drinking age in France is 16, two years younger than in most of Europe, they had no difficulty getting a drink at the bar, so after dinner they sat, and over tumblers of Bourbon Bryce attempted to explain what was going on here.
In 1853, on 8 December, Pope Pius IX formally proclaimed the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception, i.e., the teaching that Mary, the mother of Jesus, in anticipation of her role in bringing the Savior into the world, was “without sin from the moment of her conception.” This was not a new idea, but up to this time there had been some who did not accept it. It was now no longer optional. However, it is very doubtful that this proclamation made its way into the consciousness of the peasants of the remote mountain village of Lourdes by 1858.
There a fourteen year old girl lived named Bernadette Soubirous, or, in her local dialect Bernadeta Sobirós, daughter of an impoverished miller who was living with his family in a former prison, called the cachot. Bernadette, with her sister and another girl, were out near the Grotto of Massabielle, a shallow cave alongside the river Gave, gathering firewood on 11 February 1858 when she saw a vision of what she described as “a small young lady” - uo petito damizelo in her local dialect. This was the first of eighteen apparitions in all, ending on 16 July.
After the first vision, realizing that she alone had seen anything, Bernadette asked her sister, Toinette, to say nothing about the experience, but she could not resist telling their mother. That earned both girls a whipping for lying. On her second visit, Bernadette took a little holy water from the parish church, to ward off evil in case the visions came from the Devil. She sprinkled the lady with the holy water, but the lady only smiled at her. Bernadette also noted the bare feet of the lady, adorned only with one rose on each foot, as local lore held that a demon had cloven hooves, even when in human form. On the third visit, the lady spoke, in order to dispel the possibility that she was a soul in purgatory, as a local belief held that the souls of those in purgatory could return to earth, but could not speak. The lady promised to make Bernadette happy, not in this life, but in the next. She requested, in formal language, that the girl come to the grotto for fifteen more days.
People began to accompany Bernadette to the grotto. On 20 February there were 30, on 21 February 100, on 23 February 150. The authorities became involved, with the Police Commissioner, Dominique Jacomet, pressuring Bernadette’s father to put an end to the affair. But the visits continued. By 27 February about 800 people were present. On 1 March, with about 1,500 people present, the first miraculous cure took place. A local woman, Catherine Latapie, was pregnant and had a paralyzed arm. After bathing her arm in the spring at the grotto, she was completely cured, but immediately rushed away to deliver her child. The next day, Our Lady told Bernadette to tell the priest to come in procession, and to build a chapel there, but he refused. Father Peyramale called Bernadette a liar, and asked who the lady was. Bernadette said she did not know. She had to ask four times before the lady replied to that question. On the fourth occasion, the lady replied, “I am the Immaculate Conception.”
Because of official opposition, the remaining appearances were scattered. In April the local physician came with, as he reported, the intention of proving that a sane person could have illusions. He was convinced by what he experienced that something beyond the ordinary was happening. But on 8 June the mayor of Lourdes had the grotto barricaded, and stationed guards to prevent anyone from approaching, kneeling near the grotto, or speaking about it. The last, and eighteenth, vision was on 16 July. Bernadette prayed outside the barricaded area and across the Gave, and saw the lady for the last time. “She was more beautiful than ever,” the child reported.
News of the phenomena spread throughout France and beyond. Prompted by his devout wife, Eugénie, in October Emperor Napoleon III ordered the barricades removed. Lourdes quickly became a place of pilgrimage. Today, only Paris in all France has more hotels than Lourdes, with visits from about five million people annually. Bryce only partly jokingly commented that if Lourdes disappeared the French economy would collapse. But Bernadette did not return to the grotto after that last vision in July. After first being taught to read and write, at age 22 Bernadette joined the Sisters of Charity at Nevers. She died there in 1879 at age 35. In 1933 she was canonized as a saint of the Church on 8 December, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception.
After relating this story, Bryce paused, then added, “and before you ask, yes, I believe this is true. I have been to Nevers, and have seen her incorrupt body in the chapel there. Yes, I believe.”
They finished their Bourbon.
At about quarter after eight they left the hotel to walk to the Sanctuary, after first obtaining candles with paper holders at the hotel. Hundreds, maybe thousands of people were gathering for a candlelight procession, similar to that at Fatima. As at Fatima, during the procession the rosary was recited, led by someone on a loudspeaker. They began the first Glorious Mystery, the Resurrection, with the “Pater Noster” in Latin, to which Bryce responded, Panen nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie (Give us this day our daily bread) and so on. This was followed by ten “Ave Maria’s” in French, with Bryce responding, Sainte Marie, Mère de Dieu, priez pour nous pauvres pecheurs maintenant et a l’heure de notre mort. Amen. (Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the house of our death. Amen.) The decade ended with the leader intoning, Gloria Patri et Filio et Spiritui Sancto (Glory be to the Father and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit) to which those in the procession answered sicut erat in principio, est nunc, et semper, et in saecula saeculorum, Amen. (as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.) Each mystery of the rosary was set off by singing a verse of the Lourdes Hymn. This was done in French, and Bryce did not know the French words, so all he could do was join in the Latin refrain, Ave, ave, ave Maria. Ave, ave Maria The first ‘Maria’ is sung differently at Lourdes than at home, as well. They went on to other mysteries of the rosary, with the ‘Aves’ of the third mystery being said in English. Bryce was not certain, but he thought the second was in Spanish, the fourth in Italian, and the fifth in German.
The people ahead of them in the procession joined in with great gusto in the last mystery, so, taking advantage of a pause, Bryce asked. Yes, that was German. They were a youth group from Bavaria. There were about two dozen of them visiting Lourdes. They did not get time to talk more, as the procession reached Rosary Square in front of the basilica. There, they recited the Nicene Creed in Latin, and received a blessing, after which they were invited to exchange a sign of peace with those around them. This they did, not only Bryce but Damon joining in with spirit. They again spoke with the young people from Bavaria, and also with an elderly couple from New Jersey, and a family from Vietnam. Damon espied a black face, and went to investigate. He found himself talking (with Bryce as translator) to a family from Bamako in the Republic of Mali, the home of the Bambara speaking people, from which he himself was descended according to the DNA analysis done for him as a Christmas present. This greatly affected Damon, who actually shed tears when speaking with the Ngolo family. Damon made certain he obtained the contact information for that family.
Damon was very quiet on the way back to the hotel. Once in their room and prepared for bed, Damon kissed Bryce passionately, then wordlessly rolled over and fell asleep. Bryce did not understand just what his partner was going through, so he simply resolved to be patient and available.
The people at the hotel had informed Bryce that there was to be an English language Mass at the Grotto at 8:30 the next morning, Thursday, June 10, so Bryce made certain he was up in time. Damon insisted on accompanying him. They arrived to find the area packed, with only standing room behind the rows of benches. At the appointed time, a line of priests emerged, about ten of them, who would concelebrate the Mass. Judging from their accents as they recited various prayers, some were English, some Irish, some American, and some Bryce could not place. He later found that there were also priests from Canada, Australia, and South Africa among the celebrants. As they did at home, Bryce received, and Damon went forward for a blessing. As he did, he kept his eyes on the statue of Our Lady in a niche above the altar. After the Mass, they joined the line of worshipers who filed behind the altar, under the overhanging rock, and used the spring water to bless themselves. Damon followed Bryce, and also blessed himself with the Sign of the Cross.
As they left the grotto, Damon noticed a line of people at an enclosure labeled Piscenes. “Is that something to do with pissing?” he asked.
Bryce laughed. “No, that means ‘baths.’ Some people go through and bathe in the waters coming from the spring in the grotto as a kind of symbol of washing away their sins. I guess some of them are also hoping for some kind of cure.”
“I think I’ll try it,” Damon said, somewhat to Bryce’s surprise.
“Okay, if you want. I did it years ago when I came here the first time with my family. I don’t think I’ll go through again, unless you want me to,” Bryce said.
“No. I’ll do this on my own,” Damon decided.
It did not take very long. A half hour or forty-five minutes later, Damon was again walking along beside Bryce. He looked a little damp, but mostly he looked serious.
“What’s that?” he asked, indicating the large building across the creek from where they walked.
“That’s the lodging for sick pilgrims, called the accueil. Behind it is the city hospital. Lots of the people who come here have a medical problem and are hoping for a cure. Many of them can be taken care of with ordinary medical treatment, but some are in really bad shape, so there has been a medical facility here since the nineteenth century,” Bryce responded.
“And the Church does not object?” Damon asked.
“No. In fact, the hospital was founded with Church support, and the accueil is part of the Sanctuary. Associated with it is what is now called the Lourdes Medical Bureau, which has always been independent of the Church authorities. The physicians there also investigate any claims of a miraculous cure.”
“I guess there are lots of those,” Damon hazarded.
“Claims, yes. If I recall correctly what I read, over the years since the modern Bureau was founded in 1905 at the request of Pope Pius X there have been about seven thousand claims of a miraculous cure, but only 67 have been declared by the Medical Bureau to be unexplainable to medical science,” Bryce replied.
“And what does the Church say about that?” Damon wanted to know.
“Oh, the Church authorities accept the decisions of the doctors. It really is not in the best interests of the Church to be deceived by false claims. That only gives fuel to the scoffers. Besides, the medical testimony is useful, for example in the canonization process of St. Bernadette,” Bryce related.
Damon was quiet and thoughtful after that as they explored the Sanctuary. There are quite a few chapels and other venues on the grounds in addition to the main basilica, which had facilities for prayer both on the main level and in the undercroft. After a while, they ended up back at the grotto.
“You said back at Fatima you would show me an image of Mary that you liked better than the one there. Is this it?” Damon asked Bryce, indicating the image on the niche above the altar.
“Not exactly,” Bryce replied. “According to the guide book we bought back at the stand, this image was sculpted by an artist from Lyons in 1864. When Bernadette saw it, she did not like it. According to Bernadette, the lady she saw was about her own age and size, but the sculptor made Mary older and taller. I don’t know why. Bernadette was quite small, as was typical of malnourished peasant girls. God and the saints tend to come to us on our own terms. Anyway, I saw an image which is supposed to adhere more closely to the description given by Bernadette. I haven’t seen it since we’ve been here this time, but I’m keeping a lookout for it. Even this better known image is better than the Fatima one, though. Mary looks warmer, more welcoming. Fatima is so otherworldly that I cannot relate to her, but Lourdes, while spiritual, is also approachable. In an odd way, Our Lady of Lourdes reminds me of my mother.”
“I’m glad she does not remind me of my mother,” Damon commented.
They left the Sanctuary and had lunch. All around was a plethora of shops catering to the pilgrim/tourist trade, what Malcolm Muggeridge called “the bric-a-brac of piety.” In 1982 at the age of 79 Muggeridge and his wife joined the Catholic Church, largely under the influence of Mother Theresa of Calcutta, but his sense of the absurd did not abandon him when he witnessed the commercialism just outside the Sanctuary at Lourdes. After searching through several shops and stands, Damon found a version of Our Lady of Lourdes he liked in a small, six inch version, and purchased it.
In the later afternoon they took a guided tour to the cachot, the converted jail where the Soubirous family once lived, and also the local parish church, where Bernadette and her family attended and she was baptized. After dinner at a restaurant outside the hotel this time, they again joined the candlelight procession as night descended. Unfortunately, the weather gods chose to show their disapproval by sending a light shower, which snuffed out candles and soaked pilgrims. That did not prevent the procession from continuing to its normal conclusion, but it did tend to restrict conversation with fellow processors to a minimum. They encountered some of the youth group from Bavaria again, and exchanged greetings. Most of those young people spoke some English.
Returning to their room not quite dripping, but definitely soggy, Bryce was rattling on about the Bavarians, and regretting that he had not included a visit to Oberammergau in his plans. The famed Passion Play is performed there only every ten years, and 2010 was such a year, but he had simply not thought about it when making plans, and it was probably too much hassle to alter their reservations elsewhere. As Bryce was prattling on about this subject, his partner suddenly attacked him. Damon was entirely nude, and was kissing and caressing Bryce forcefully. Never one to pass up a good thing, Bryce abandoned whatever he intended to say, and responded to the demands of his lover. It developed into the best session in their entire trip, and that is saying something.
The next morning, after a hearty breakfast, and with Damon more than a little self-conscious about his aggressive love making the night before, they returned to the Sanctuary. Along the way, Bryce assured his partner that he not only did not object, but positively welcomed such shows of affection. Right there on the street, he kissed Damon. Despite the hostile glares of a few, he repeated it, but then they moved on into the Sanctuary. At the Grotto of Massabielle they found a Mass being celebrated in some African language by six priests, five of whom were native Africans and one a European, presumably a missionary of some sort. Although they could not understand the words, just as at Santiago they knew the movements and gestures well enough to be able to follow the progress of the Mass. They remained, and again Bryce communicated while Damon received a blessing.
Afterwards, they spent the remainder of the morning exploring the huge basilica, which was technically several churches joined together. The original structure, begun during Bernadette’s lifetime, was the lower basilica or the crypt church. Her father was present for its dedication in 1866. Above it is the upper church, or the Basilica of Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception. More or less in front of the other two is the Rosary Basilica, with a series of depictions of the mysteries of the Rosary. The first two churches are in a modified Gothic style, while this one is more Byzantine, and crowned with a golden crown over the dome.
By the time the guys completed their survey of these works, it was time to get some lunch. Then, to Bryce’s surprise, Damon asked that they go their separate ways for the afternoon. Realizing that something was going on with his boyfriend which he did not fully comprehend, Bryce acceded to his request, agreeing to meet back at the hotel at six to plan dinner.
Bryce found a path, called the Chemin de Croix, leading up a steep hillside, along which were the Stations of the Cross. He climbed the path, reciting the rosary between stations with the intention that his partner find whatever it was he was searching for. Reaching a high vantage point not far from the twelfth station, Bryce looked out over the entire Sanctuary, imagining that he could recognize Damon among the small figures spread out before him.
In fact, Damon wandered back to the grotto area, and stood for a long time in thought, looking towards Our Lady in her niche. He then retraced his steps some and crossed the small stream called the Gave de Pau. On the maps it was called a river, but it was really no more than a small creek. On the other side were the facilities for ailing pilgrims, the Chapel of Reconciliation, and some administrative offices. Wandering near the Chapel of Reconciliation, Damon encountered a priest leaving the chapel. He accosted him.
“Father, do you speak English?”
With a lilt and a smile, the priest answered, “Well, now, I suppose some might question that. But it’s English as spoken in Limerick I’m speaking.”
Damon smiled. “I understand you just fine. I hope you can understand me.”
“You’re an American, then,” the priest said. “I’m Father O’Malley. What can I do for you?”
“I suppose you have to be Catholic to do this reconciliation thing?” Damon asked.
“Yes, it’s customary,” Father O’Malley chuckled.
‘Well, can I just ask you to pray for me and my partner?” Damon asked.
Father O’Malley eyed him critically. “Partner now, is it?” Then, with a great sigh, he added, “We all need praying for. You pray for me, and I’ll certainly pray for you and your partner.”
They parted, and Damon continued his wanderings along the bank of the stream opposite the grotto. He came to a place where there was an open field. It looked so inviting, he almost threw himself down and enjoyed the grass and sunshine. The drizzle of the night before was long gone (which did not guarantee it would not show up again that evening as well). He saw a woman with two small children who also seemed to want to run in the field. A boy of about five or six took off running. Damon heard his mother call to him, but he ran and laughed as he did. The woman became more insistent, but the boy only laughed the more, and ran, his head down, simply enjoying the exuberant expenditure of energy. As he did, he ran directly into Damon, who caught him and held the squirming boy.
Pardonnez moi! Pardonnez moi! Laissez moi va libre, s’il vous plait! (Excuse me! Excuse me! Let me go, please!), the boy cried as he squirmed.
“I don’t think so,” Damon replied, guessing at the boy’s words. “I think Mama wants you back, you lucky boy.”
The woman quickly approached, speaking rapidly in French. Damon grinned, but said, “Sorry, I don’t speak French. Here’s your boy. Love him.” At that, he delivered the still squirming lad to his mother.
Damon turned away quickly so the woman could not see, but he began to weep. He thought about his last words with his own mother in Chicago. He realized there was a huge gap in his life. Maybe more than one.
Turning, he noticed a modern, tent-like structure on the fringe of the field. He headed in that direction, leaving the mother and son looking after him confused. Although he did not understand the sign at the entrance, Damon understood that this was another chapel of some sort. He entered and found about a dozen people scattered about, some sitting, some kneeling. At the center was a small altar with an elaborate gold article looking a little like a sunburst on a stand. In the center of the sunburst was a white area behind a glass. He sort of remembered something like this from one of the times he had accompanied Bryce to church.
Damon sat towards the rear of the chapel. For a long time, nothing happened. He was still feeling the emotions he had experienced with the mother and son out in the sunny field. Gradually, a peace settled over him. He felt a need, but was not certain what it was. Then, the words of the Irish priest came to him: “You pray for me, and I’ll pray for you and your partner.” In the past, Damon had not prayed. He had thought about what was going on when he accompanied Bryce to church, and had observed everything and everyone. He had let his feelings roam. Now, he prayed. He did pray for the Irish priest. But mostly he prayed for his mother and sisters, and even for Tyson. He prayed for little Nathan. He prayed for the mother and son in that sunny field. Then, he prayed for Bryce. As he did, somehow he knew that Bryce was praying for him at that same time. He settled back and thought about nothing. And it came to him that if he were praying, he must be praying to someone. And he knew that God existed.
As it happened, at that moment, high above the Sanctuary on the hillside where the Stations of the Cross ended, with the majestic Pyrenees in the background, Bryce was indeed praying for Damon. He knew Damon was going through something important, but was not yet ready to talk about it, so he prayed simply, Lord, have mercy on Damon. Draw him closer to you.
When they met in the lobby of the Hotel Saint Sauveur at six, Bryce immediately noted that Damon looked confused.
“What’s up, Boyfriend?” he asked.
Damon looked intensely at Bryce. “Nothing is simple, is it? Now I know that God exists, but I don’t know what to do about that.”
“Just remain open, and God will tell you,” Bryce replied, hugging his partner.
They decided to dine at the hotel again, and afterwards enjoy their Bourbon until it was time to go to the candlelight procession for the last time. Tomorrow they would leave Lourdes. Most of the time, they were silent, but it was an intimate, companionable silence. They were enjoying each other’s company as they let the events and impressions of the day sink in.
At the procession that evening, thankfully free of rain, they did not meet anyone they had encountered previously. Before the procession began, they were talking to an extended family, including uncles, aunts, and cousins, from Canada. Then, behind them, Damon recognized the language, and greeted a small group from Peru. He was glad he had a year of formal Spanish instruction, which very definitely modified what he had learned from the Hispanics in the projects. The Peruvians were from Cuzco, and claimed to be of entirely native Incan ancestry, but they were joking about such that Damon did not know whether to believe them or not. Before he could decide, the procession began.
When they reached Rosary Square and completed their rosary, there were some prayers led by a priest in front of the church, and then the Nicene Creed again. As the priest began, Credo in unum Deum ..., Damon asked, “What’s that mean?”
“It’s what we say at every Mass: ‘I believe in one God, the Father almighty,’ and so on,” Bryce replied.
“Oh, okay.”
Damon paid especial attention, and when they got to the article Et incarnatus est de Spiritu Sancto ex Maria Virgine, et homo factus est (And was born of the Holy Spirit by the Virgin Mary, and became man), and people bowed or in some cases genuflected, Damon also bowed. He wasn’t quite sure at this point about unam sanctam catholicam et apostolicam ecclesiam (one holy catholic and apostolic Church), but, as Bryce advised, he would remain open for further communications.
After the ceremony, Damon declared he was going back to the Grotto. Bryce accompanied him. Damon found himself talking to the lady in white with the blue sash, up there in the niche. In his head, he complained bitterly about his own mother, so that tears ran down his cheeks. Then he became quiet, not just not saying anything, as he had not been saying anything aloud since they got to the Grotto, but quiet inside. He closed his eyes. In his soul he received the words, I know. I love you. Be at peace. He felt the message, rather than heard the words. Damon stood up straighter.
After a few more minutes, he turned to Bryce. “I’m ready to go back to the hotel. I’m very tired.”
Following a restful night, the partners checked out of the Hotel Saint Sauveur and got back in the car, back on the road. Their longest trek of the entire trip awaited them.