Mystery and Mayhem by Joel |
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Some of the Characters Appearing or Mentioned:
Mark Henry Foster The story‑teller
Tristan (Tris) Price‑Williams His well‑proportioned boyfriend
Gordon Foster Father of Mark and Francis: Fiddles for a living
Maria (Angelica Matteoli) Foster Mother of Mark and Francis: Teaches singing
Francis Michael [Microbe] Foster Alias Toad: just growing and wondering
Ivo Richie Carr Mark's cousin: chunky and cheeky with it
Adam Benjamin Carr Ditto, as his twin
Albert Tomkins A Head Porter with an elephantine memory
Jason Knott An Assistant Porter with long antecedents
H.E. Sheik Sayed Al‑Hamed Erstwhile Ambassador for a Middle‑Eastern State
Khaled Al-Hamed His elder son: a financier
Dr Safar Al‑Hamed His younger son A knowledgeable Music don
Colonel Lachlan Cameron‑Thomson Ex‑Military Intelligence
Dr Jacques Thomson Reader Emeritus in Modern Languages
Dr Francis Thomson His eldest son
Monday morning after the newspapers came both Tris and I had lectures to attend.
He said he'd meet up with me for lunch. I knew the reason why. Both of us would be in for
some comments on our first appearances in Hall. Fiona and Dina had their go first as I met
them outside the Mill Lane Lecture Room. 'Why wasn't I labelled a hunk like Tristram?
Tristram?? Just a Maths whizz!' that from Dina. 'And who's this Henery? Henery the Ninth
hI hAm, hI hAm!' Fiona trilled. Dina said to take no notice, newspapers always get
everything wrong. Of course, later, I had to open my big mouth and ask the second lecturer if
the second of his equations he'd just written up should also have had a constant added as
well. "Thanks for noticing," he said, "Had a heavy weekend. My wife gave birth to our
second!" Instant cheer and I didn't feel too bad. Fiona asked, "How did you know that?" I
shrugged. I didn't. It just looked as if it should.
Tris was waiting for me just in our stairway. "Got a cheer when I went into the
lecture." "I didn't," I said, "I don't think mathematicians can read." Well, it seemed other
students could. There was a chorus of wolf whistles as we entered Hall. "Wow, it's the Page
Three boys!" was one call. "Get yer tits out next time!" was another. I saw a couple of the
dons at High Table looking disapprovingly in our direction. Then, to a great cheer, a top‑
hatted, black frock‑coated, pin‑stripe trousered Jason ‑ the full formal Porter's rig, ‑ came
from the kitchen and led us to a table where four of Tris's Basketball team in their sub fusc
of black jackets and white ties were already sitting. They stood up and another cheer erupted
as they had their dark red silky basketball shorts on below their formal gear.
Anything after that couldn't be too bad. That afternoon there was a note in my
pigeon‑hole. 'Mr M H Foster is invited to a reception in the Senior Combination Room on
Thursday the twenty‑third of January at eight p.m. to present an outline of how the coded
message was solved and to hear an analysis of findings so far by members of the archaeology
team'.
I found Tris, Gabe, Josh, Ben, Oliver and Boz all had invitations to the presentation.
As Charles said at our 'Nine o'clock Knock' that evening, as he displayed his note asking
him to show the ring and paten as his part in the discovery, it was to his certain knowledge
the first time the bastions of that redoubt of academic eminence had been breached by so
many of the lower orders at the same time. Usually, he said, only the President of the
Students' Union was ever invited or the younger sons of Earls and above. Tris said that as
long as Gabe kept his expletives to a minimum we would survive. I said I was going to point
out we, and I emphasized 'we', might have solved the puzzle earlier if it hadn't been for his
bloody expletive! We all toasted a bowing Gabe for hindering the advance of academic
progress.
Before all that, I had my Monday tutorial with James Tanner. He just grinned and
asked no details of what had happened. He was more interested in what I had made of the
second book by the author ‑ the one on Fermat's Last Theorem. I said I'd looked at the bits
of the proof given and what was interesting was the use of several different approaches
where ideas linked up. I said I had an inkling into the interest of doing that as I'd noted the
convergence of two different approaches in the work last term. I showed him the two sheets
on which I'd done the rough work ‑ I hadn't got the neat solutions I'd written up in my
'commonplace book' as I called it. When he'd finished reading through the two pages he
just sat back, intertwined his fingers and rested them on his chin. He looked at me steadily
for almost a minute without saying anything. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with your
reasoning, Mark. A short note in Annals of Pure Mathematics is called for."
I was rather flustered. It was just a couple of results which linked. "It's not just that,
Mark, it's given me a couple of ideas to follow up, too. When you get to my age the
mathematical instinct or whatever you like to think it is, seems to wane. Most of my
colleagues will agree on that. We can still manipulate with the best of them but it's these
points of interest where ideas are generated which get fewer and farther between. You
probably realise I'd made my name by the time I was twenty‑five. The ten years after I
graduated were the most fruitful. I couldn't get to that level of thinking now. I publish, but
it's using the material generated all those years ago. I'm speaking quite candidly. Your
Head of Maths at school recognised you had a flair for the subject. We'll try our best to
cultivate it. This is just a start. While it's still fresh tidy it up. I'll help with any notation but
it's your name on the article. I can't guarantee they'll take it but it does make a point."
What could I say? I knew I liked Maths. Did I have a flair? At the end of the two
hours we had worked through several ideas and by that time my senses were reeling. I went
straight to the Chapel, apologised to the researchers still there, and played for over an hour to
calm down. When I finished I found Fiona and Dina, who I was supposed to meet, sitting in
the choir stalls quietly going over the notes of the morning lectures. There was no reproof
from forthright Fiona.
"We felt you needed to play after all that's happened the last few days. Dude let us in
as long as we didn't pocket any of the coins the man showed us. Thanks for playing. It's
helped us, too."
Dina leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Thanks, Mark. But we want to know what
the great man said."
We went over the problems the lecturers had set. Then I showed them the ones James
had given me. They grimaced, but we managed to tackle at least the first three. I could see
what he was doing. He was leading us step by step to much more abstract and much more
general ideas. Ideas that could generate a whole cloud of new theorems, and riders, and
lemmas.
Dina was smiling as we completed that third problem. "I wish I could be a proper
mathematician," she said. "I know what I can do and I want to teach it to others, but it takes
a different sort of mind to make progress, doesn't it."
I didn't dare show them what I had done that day. Was I capable of making progress?
Tuesday lunchtime I was recovering from two rather intense lectures and deciding I
had to master the ideas, or else! Tris came to my study looking rather pensive.
"Mark, I've had a letter this morning and I'm a bit worried."
"What letter?" I wondered if Jacob or Paul had had second thoughts about offering
him a job.
"It's from Safar's brother, Khaled. Apparently he's a trustee of the Al‑Hamed
Foundation. There's him and another two at the top of the paper. That James Thomson's
one of them and someone called Iyad bin Ibrahim Al‑Quereshi. Anyway, it's the offer to pay
for my Law School and giving me a hundred pounds a week towards living expenses." He
shook his head. "I can't accept all that. It'll be much more than your harpsichord is worth.
Why give me so much and not you?"
I stood up. "Tris, that harpsichord is priceless as far as I'm concerned. It was given
to me with love. I can't place a value on that. I don't think you should count up the pennies
like that. That was a gift of love as well. The Sheik saw something in you, I'm sure."
Tris smiled. "I saw the way he was looking at you while you were playing. He had
such a look of concentration on his face it was as if he was trying to see inside you." He
laughed. "I had a sort of funny feeling he was looking at your soul. I had all sorts of funny
feelings at that place. I need to talk to him and the others there. Not to say thank you but to
find out more about Ulvescott and the influence it has on people." He paused. "You think I
should accept it? The only conditions are that I get my Law degree and that I study for the
Law Society exams. It's such a gift. I won't be dependent on Dad. And I will succeed.
There'll be too many people I mustn't let down."
"You write and accept it," I said, "You are part of that wider family now and you
know it."
He smiled and nodded. "As long as you don't think...."
I put my arms around him and hugged him tight. "It's for both of us. Your success is
my success and whatever I have or do is yours as well. The Sheik saw us together. He
knows."
One thing during our 'NOK' evenings was the pleasure listening to others talking
about what they were doing. Boz was going great guns on the translating of the Templar
documents. Charles commented several times he was sure there were connections between
Templar ideas and the College. Holy Grail and all that was bandied about. Gabe and
Charles with their common subject of Philosophy sparked off many arguments, most of
which left me mind‑boggled. I was quite certain the Meaning of Life could be number forty‑
two, or quarante‑deux, just as any of the numerous ideas postulated. I think we came to the
sensible conclusion that what gives life value was as important as seeking what gives life
meaning.
It was during one of our sessions that first week when Gabe mentioned how various
ideas in natural philosophy, as science was called in the early days, held sway for so many
years. The idea in medicine that man was comprised of the Four Humours which had to be
in balance. The idea that Aristotle put forward that everything was comprised of Four
Elements, Earth, Air, Fire and Water. I was able to join in this as I reiterated all that Gran
had said about the music that had been written, especially on the idea of the Four Humours.
It was at that moment that another connection was made. I was in mouth‑open mode.
"And as far as the four elements are concerned you can still find echoes," I said,
"These deaths so far, one was Earth, one was Water and Mr Finch‑Hampton died in a Fire."
"True," said Ben, "But there's only been three deaths and the connection may not
stand. Where's the fourth? Where's the death by Air?"
"Sorry," I said, "It just seemed odd to me. There was such an emphasis that Bryce
died by inhaling mud..." Tris gave a gulp. "...Sorry, Tris, but it just struck me as odd. Could
it be accidental that Bryce ended up in that mud and the inquest did mention it and Whippet
kept on about earth, the idea could have got back to whoever did them all in."
"You believe it's the work of one person?" asked Boz.
"What we've been told points to that," said Tris, "And there's more as Charles can
tell you."
Charles then went over the latest with the search and the over‑doses and the purified
drug. We said we'd seen the track‑suit and it tied in with the person being small. But what
was the general motive? There was a general shrugging of shoulders and we passed on to
another topic.
Of course later I had to tell Tris what James Tanner had said to me. We were in bed
and having our usual personal resume of our day. "You've got a lovely talent," he said
nuzzling just by my Adam's Apple, "You are so musical and you can do Maths. You're a
beauty, too, and I love you deeply." He licked up under my chin with predictable results.
"There's me. Just going to be a lawyer helping old ladies sell their houses and defending
kids prosecuted after being caught pissing up alley walls."
"Tris, my love, you've got brains and beauty. I've told you that before. Jacob and
Paul wouldn't have offered you that job otherwise." I felt for his erection, pressing against
mine. "As long as it's not just your beauty they're after. I don't think they're into
adolescents though, so they might have detected a brain ‑ much smaller than this, I expect." I
gave his shaft a squeeze. That did it. No more resume for that night. We were lost in each
other's love.
On Thursday evening in bed he was rather quiet. I'd noticed that from the time he
came back from a Basketball match earlier in the evening.
"Mark," he said as we snuggled together and put our arms round each other, "Aubrey
Fullerton said I was right. That summing‑up. The judge quoted the wrong precedent and the
defence didn't pick it up. He phoned someone as soon as I showed him and we checked. I'll
find out tomorrow what's going to happen. That chap may have been guilty. It wasn't a very
pleasant thing he did but he was sent down for the wrong reason and he's done two years
already. He had other offences in the past so I don't suppose anyone was too worried. Have
I done right? He could be out under a miscarriage of justice. He could do it all again."
"Tris, it's what lawyers are for. You can't be held responsible for what someone may
do. If the law has been applied incorrectly I don't see that as a fair trial. I shan't ask you
what he did but is that the reason you're worried?"
He nodded. "Yes, I think so. I will tell you what he did anyway. It was on
Hampstead Heath and he beat up a chap who was gay and that's what caught my eye. It
wasn't the first time. He'd done it at least twice before and had got off as he said he'd been
solicited. This time someone called the police and they caught him kicking this bloke's head
in and shouting out homophobic insults. Aubrey said I wasn't to worry about it but it does
concern me. The least that'll happen is his sentence will be cut. Aubrey said that with the
police evidence and the past record he would still get a term in jail."
"You are not to worry," I said, "As I said it's what you stand for is the criterion.
Come on, relax, but not too much!"
Friday night at the Club only Dude and Carlo were there, no Brad. They said he'd got
a lot of paperwork to do but they'd make sure he was there for the next night. He would be
forty‑five! Dude had half‑a‑dozen leather peaked caps which he handed out to us. "Anything
else leather, wear it." I had ideas.
There was a letter for me on Saturday morning saying the archaeologists and museum
people had finished cataloguing and photographing. In fact I knew Lenny had been contacted
and had photographed most of the things so they could be exhibited in College. All the
objects, including my book and coin, had been taken into the safe‑keeping of the Fitzwilliam
Museum and a horde of people from there, the British Museum and the British Library,
would be descending to do research on the mass of things.
Tris came back from a rather rough match looking slightly bruised and battered. Still,
after a bit of gentle massage he said he'd be fit for the evening at the Club. I'd been to see
Josh and Gabe in the morning and borrowed some things: the gift Gabe had for Adam, and
Josh's purchase for himself. The lederhosen. They fitted very well though Bavarian arses
must be a bit more ample than ours. With the caps on as well Tris and I just about fell apart.
"I've got two pairs of long white socks I had when I wore that kilt. You can have a pair of
those," he said, "Those dark green Matteoli shirts will be just right, too. Might even ask you
for a dance, sweetie!"
The evening was a real hoot. Shawn and Charlie, the owners, had put on a buffet and
the first round of drinks were on the house. Looking round almost everyone was sporting
something leather, even if just a cap. Danny had a dog's collar round his neck and Jonty was
holding him with the attached lead and wearing a very revealing cutaway leather shirt. Our
lederhosen got a special cheer as we came in. Brad was serenaded and made to lead a conga
which snaked round the whole Club. Then a huge cake with '45' iced on it was brought in
with a large single candle in the middle. It was an everlasting candle so that as much as he
blew, it still flickered back into flame. Ever resourceful he grabbed it and upended it in the
pint pot of lager belonging to Carlo. "Dipped your wick there, Mr B! Never knew you had it
in you!" Carlo said to shouts of laughter and picked up the glass and drained it in one long
draught. Two people who made a quiet entrance were drawn into the group. Brad's son,
Tony, and his mate, Terry, were made welcome and after a while Danny was contentedly
sitting on his brother's lap, still wearing his dog's collar, with Tony holding the leash.
Sunday it was my turn to play for the morning service so afterwards I was having a
relaxing gin and tonic before going across to Hall for lunch. Tris said he would be back in
time but must, absolutely must, make arrangements with some clot who was having second
thoughts about playing in the Basketball team. Apparently his girlfriend needed his
undivided attention on Thursdays when matches were usually held.
I had just had a satisfying slurp when my mobile phone played the little bit of Bach I
had as my ring‑tone. It was Frankie.
"Hi, are you OK?"
"Yes, just the same."
"Mum's had a phone call. She's picking up Adam from Heathrow Tuesday
afternoon.. He's staying here and Auntie Sophie's coming up to see her little boy as well."
"Well he has been away four months. I think Mum might even want to see you...."
"....I know," he interrupted, "But there's more to tell you."
"What's that?"
I could hear him suppressing a giggle. "They've all gone next‑door for drinkies
before lunch back here so I must be quick."
"Well, get on with it then."
"It was Auntie Dil's birthday on Friday...."
"....I know that. We sent a card and Mum had the present to give her...."
"....Shut up, and listen! We had a big dinner last night next door instead of going out.
Auntie Dil said it's criminal paying out loads of dosh for crap nosh..."
"...I don't think she'd quite say that..."
"...Bugger it, Marky, listen! Anyway, Pugsy was there and was necking the gravy as
if there was no tomorrow. Mum said no way were his parents seeing him as rat‑arsed as that
they'd do a bundle..." I didn't interrupt as Mum was unlikely also to use such terminology.
"....Anyway she said he'd better stay over. Bastard came straight into my room and stripped
down to his boxers and was in my bed snoring before I'd even got my shoes off. And doesn't
he snore. Kept me awake for ages and he took up more than half the bed. I did get to sleep
but he woke me up in the middle of the bloody night 'cause he was clutching me and
humping my leg, you know, like Mrs Coombs' bloody dog. You there, Marky? Are you
listening?"
"Yes, I know the dog."
"I'm talking about bloody Pugsy, you fool. He was humping against me and he was
whispering, like, 'Come on Shell, let me have it, I need it, please, Shell'." His voice rose in
excitement. "Then he shot a humungous load all over me and stopped humping and started
to fucking snore again. Huhn, you can tell Tris he hasn't had it yet. Shell must be holding
out on him. Prickteaser!"
"Not the thing to say about my boyfriend's sister, Marky. I might just tell him that
bit."
"You do and I won't tell you anything else."
"OK, and after he'd had a spontaneous emission?..."
He laughed. "...Mine wasn't spontaneous and the bugger slept through it, too. I had
to take my boxers off to mop up." he laughed again. "Sorry, Marky, but they were those
rather nice black ones of yours. Rather sticky when I finished..."
"...My silk ones?"
"..Sorry, yes.. I daren't put them in the wash. I'll keep them and you can take them
back to College for washing..."
"...Complete with two boys'...."
I was cut short. "..Never thought of that. You might want to keep them..."
"Frankie!"
He was cackling now. "He wanted to know why I wasn't wearing anything when I
got out of bed this morning to go for a pee. I said it was rather hot in bed. Was, too, but not
the way he thought. He never remembered a thing! Anyway, Shell would be well‑pleased.
Not too long but thick poking out of his fly when I pulled the duvet off him." He began to
sing in a falsetto voice. 'Pug‑sy is a vir‑gin, Pug‑sy is a vir‑gin!'"
"Frankie! Just because you got lucky. Tell you what, you could play dead beetle with
him. On your back you'd give him the time of his life."
There were a few moments of silence. "That's not for discussion. That's for you and
Tris. Give him my love."
"Wait a moment, Frankie. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything like that."
"Apology accepted, Marky. Love you. Must go or Pugsy'll have all the drinkies. Ta‑
ra!"
The connection clicked off. So, Pugsy was still seeking. He'll get his end away and
I guessed it wouldn't be too long now. But, in the meantime I would have to censor the
retelling of the conversation to Tris. But, I guess he would understand the stalwart Pugsy's
basic urges.
Term was going rapidly on. Tris heard that the villain's sentence had been reviewed
but the Appeal Judges considered that seven years was correct even if the summing‑up
wasn't. In fact Tris had a note from one of the Counsel on the defence side congratulating
him on his knowledge and perception. He was also working extra hard as he wanted to do as
well as he could in his Finals next term.
Adam turned up all full of bounce and transatlantic bonhomie. He'd had a
marvellous time giving a few lectures but also being taken around and visiting as much as
possible. He said he'd never realised how big America was, at least seventeen of the states
were bigger than England, nor how little ordinary Americans he spoke to knew about
England or Europe. They knew some history as that was taught in High School but it was
almost as if the rest of the world was a different planet. Most couldn't make out how 'little
England' had ruled such large amounts of the World before the break‑up of the Empire and
they all wanted to know if he knew the Queen. He said the students were keen but over‑
reliant on being told what to do and what to read. He said he had to be careful even with
gentle irony as he realised very early on that Americans did not understand English irony.
One thing he had to do was grade 'Term Papers' and noted three were almost exact
copies of a fourth which he knew was done by one of the best students in the class. He
showed the four sets of essays to the Professor in charge of the course whose comment was
simply "Dumb fucking jocks. Wouldn't know if their peckers were in their pants unless
Coach checked!".
He'd asked the three to see him and he said all were huge, blond and very nervous
and, from what he could see, all had their peckers tucked well away. He said he'd noted the
similarity between the papers, any explanations? They had looked at each other and at last
one blurted out that Coach had them on the field at 6 a.m. every morning and worked them
for three hours solid so they missed the eight o'clock class which was History and Reuben
had offered to show them what he'd written. He said should he speak to Coach? They
looked panic‑stricken. Here were huge lads of about nineteen dead scared of Coach. Adam
laughed and said he could see why later.
Anyway, he said he would be willing to take them over the course at a different time
as long as they promised not to copy another's work. They looked so relieved because one
said if they didn't pass they would be in line for losing their Scholarships. Adam said he
missed lunch for three whole weeks while he and they toiled over the set book. He said the
looks of gratitude were something after they did the resit and the Professor graded them two
B's and one A. Unheard of!
Coach he discovered was a three‑hundred and fifty pound, that's twenty‑five stone to
the Brits, ex‑footballer, who had the reputation of driving his charges rather hard. A slight
case of light irony as he ruled them with a rod of iron metaphorically, but with a tongue
which lashed them repeatedly with threats of emasculation and hints about their non‑
masculinity in any case. Adam said he'd been the star when he joined in one of these
sessions and managed to keep up with the punishing routine, so much so that Coach had
finished up the session with the words, "If that skinny‑assed English dude can do it the rest of
you pansy‑livered mother‑fuckers should do double, but the Brits have grit, d'you
understand? My Grandaddy was in London during that War and he said even when London
was bombed the King and Queen were there and that takes grit, d'you hear!" Adam said he
was then bear‑hugged and if you've been bear‑hugged by a three hundred and fifty pound
grizzly you'd know what bear‑hugs were. As he was hugged Coach had whispered, "Thank
you, sir, those boys woulda been in deep shit otherwise, I'm most grateful."
He said it also led to invitations to a couple of their parties and as he was over twenty‑
one he was most popular as one of the lads took him to the next town where he stocked up
the car each time with several cases of beer. He also had invites to visit various places. He
said one of the lads who he'd helped, who got the A and was rather sweet, had invited him to
his Daddy's farm in Iowa and was most interested to find Adam's father was also a farmer and they'd swapped tales of farming as the lad was taking the Agricultural course and was
destined to go back and run the vast acreage. As Jed also didn't have a girlfriend he just
wondered!
Adam was assigned to Mr Finch‑Hampton's set. In fact, though he and James Al‑
Hamed would be sharing it for tutorials he was bedding down there when not at Dude's. To
the comment 'a bit spooky' he pointed out that Simon Finch‑Hampton had been a cousin of
sorts and he was just as interested as anyone else in finding out who did the dirty deed and it
sounded as if Simon had had a pretty rough early life.
On the Wednesday after Adam reappeared I was in my study late afternoon when my
mobile rang. It was Frankie.
"Hi, had a letter today. I've passed!! Brill!!"
"Oh, Frankie, congrats, I am pleased. Ask Mum to give you a big hug from me."
"Can't, she's hugging me already. ....Mum I can't breath! OK here's the phone."
"Hi Mum, that's good news. But don't give him too many hugs or I shall think he's
the favourite."
"He's my little precious boy, aren't you darling?" Mum said, knowing that would
bring out a typical Toad response. But I don't think it did, he was too euphoric. I could hear
him in the background. "I love you, too, Mum..." Creep! But it was good news.
"Tell him there's a present for him on the top shelf of my wardrobe. It's wrapped."
It was, and labelled, "To Francis Foster ARCM", as I was sure he'd pass. But what
had I parcelled up for a randy, over‑sexed, over‑endowed, rather bright seventeen‑year‑old?
A bound copy of a year's issues of Playboy? No! A pack of three‑dozen fruit‑flavoured
condoms? No!! A copy of the Kama Sutra, lavishly illustrated? No!!! (In any case he had
the translated book and also 'Paul's Odyssey' to keep his right hand active.) No, I'd left
him something to keep right and left hands, plus both feet, active. A copy of his own:
Bach's Eighteen Chorale Preludes. I thought, in years to come he could say what an old
stick‑in‑the‑mud brother he had.... But, underneath, I knew Frankie better than that!
"Oh, and Mum," I finished up as he was still burbling on in the background, "Tell
him there's a letter in the post to him telling him to go to Moss Bros for a fitting for a kilt
and there's one for Dad, too." I shut my mobile. Charles had decided that Mother's account
would be raided for the special occasion at Ulvescott. I think he was rather envious he
wasn't invited. We would have to see what we could do about an invite for him later.
The presentation of the solving of the code had to be organised. I had a meeting with
the Physics don who was in charge of the computerised presentation, or Power Point as he
called it. He had digital photos of my book and the coin but wanted the Latin and the coded
message in the records typed out, then my solution, in two colours, etc. etc. Yes, he would
operate the gadgetry, I just had to talk.
It wasn't too bad. I put on my best suit, with College tie and polished black shoes. In
fact the row of us looked like very smart tailor's dummies except that Gabe's rather thick
neck over‑filled his collar and he was going rather red in the face until the Chaplain's wife
suggested he undid the top button of his shirt.
There must have been well over sixty people in the very beautifully panelled and
subtly lit room. Rows of chairs had been brought in after the usual furniture had been
removed we were informed by Charles, who was talking avidly most of the time with the
Bursar's wife. Heavy curtains were drawn over the end of the room and we were regaled
with plates of tidbits and glasses of good wine by Liam, Sean and the two servers. As well as
the Museum people I'd met, there were dozens of tutors and assorted wives and companions.
I was grabbed by James Tanner, who was with Paul Phillips, and introduced to
several dons I'd seen around but had no idea what they taught; Anglo‑Saxon, Veterinary
Studies, Political Economy, Land Economy, German and a very tall blonde lady who was
Reader in Scandinavian and Icelandic Studies as far as I could gather. All were hugely
friendly and James kept looking at me with a quizzical air. Safar was there with his wife and
was surrounded by a group, including two men I recognised as being in the University
Orchestra in the viola section. They turned out to be Fellows in Medieval History and
Organic Chemistry. I saw Tris with Gabe talking to Aubrey Fullerton and a very severely
dressed, middle‑aged lady. Oh, yes, Gabe's Philosophy tutor, 'Doc Miss Bloody Anstruther‑
Lamb', as he usually referred to her, with awe and reverence I might add. What a mix. Me,
Maths and a musician and I had no idea all these other things were going on.
After a while the Master stepped forward. "My Lord, Ladies and Gentlemen, may we
begin. Please take your seats."
'My Lord'? Oh yes, the Fellow in Political Economy had recently been given a Life
Peerage.
The heavy curtains were withdrawn to reveal a screen and a long refectory table with
various of the artefacts on it. At the end was my box and that was where the evening's talk
started. The lights went off and the Physics don showed the first picture of the presentation.
'Vox audita perit...' At the bottom the code beginning:
'O Q I T H N P
L N Z B A O L
J Q D P Q O F'
I explained about our Nine O'clock Knock meetings and there was a ripple of
subdued laughter. Then how the translation had been done and my idea that the code might
be letter substitution but the clue came while listening ‑ and I did say half‑listening and
looked at the Chaplain who grinned ‑ to a sermon about light and realised that was in English
and 'Fiat Lux' in Latin had seven letters and used that. There was another subdued rumble
and nodding of heads. More pictures, of my main room and of the organ‑stops. I then
explained how I'd solved the 'PULL THE GAMBE' puzzle and how Tris, my room‑mate,
had found the body and that solved another puzzle. I glossed over that. Then we'd realised
the lower cellar was not the same size as the Pennefather Set. And that was how the
treasures were found. The first being the box.. I said that had a message, too, and another
picture showed that, followed by the solution. I put on white gloves and opened the box and
took out the book and then showed the coin. There was subdued, then a crescendo, of
clapping.
After that the archaeologists and Museum people took over and described a good
number of the things found in the various boxes. It was a fascinating evening. At the end
there were lots of questions. But first, his Lordship, the Fellow in Political Economy, looked
over to me where I was sitting near the back. He said first of all that the find had set all sorts
of bells ringing in Whitehall, Downing Street and Lambeth Palace, and even as far as the
Chancellor of the University, the Duke of Edinburgh. The Archbishop had told Whitehall
and the Prime Minister it was none of their business and as far as he was concerned the
treasure was safe in perpetuity. And, here he paused, "He also said, and I pass on his
message, 'Mr Foster has every right to the box and its contents but did he realise its value and
could he afford the insurance?'..." There was a round of applause again and also suppressed
laughter. So the College had the right to the treasure and I had the right to the box and
contents. And that from he who should know! "....He said that no doubt the Museum
authorities would be glad to assist by having the objects on loan." He paused again. "Have
you had a valuation on the coin?" he asked me. I stood up and shook my head. He nodded.
"As a precaution I asked the man at Sotheby's and he estimates for the Double Leopard coin
not less than one hundred and fifty thousand pounds..." There was a concerted gasp. "...But,
he was not prepared to hazard a guess for the Book of Hours. On the international market it
would be bid up and up was his opinion. No limit!" He looked at me. "Mr Foster. Use
these gifts wisely. Do not be pressurised into any decisions. If you need advice at any time,
just ask. And by the way, the Chancellor will be here soon for a Convocation so be
prepared."
I said in no way would I ever sell the gifts. As far as I was concerned they belonged
to the College and, in the wider sense, the country. They had been loaned to me. I would
take advice on where they should be placed and as far as insurance was concerned I would
ask the Chaplain if there could be a retiring collection after the next service where I would
play as the outgoing voluntary something based on themes from ‘Half a Sixpence’!
The Museum people when questioned said there had been several enquiries already
about a travelling exhibition, not only in this country but also abroad. Dr Palfrey laughed.
"It'll be a question of insurance again. Mark isn't the only one, but I can assure him his gifts
will be safe in our hands, if we may have the loan of them."
At the end I was congratulated on all sides and there were a number of requests to see
the 'Gambe' door opened. I wondered what might happen if Nat Temple was right and there
were lots of wall paintings as well down in the cellar.
It was also odd that around me were all these other people working away in subjects I
never knew existed. Perhaps I lived in a rather restricted world even in College? I had my
group of friends and I had got to know individual members of the choir but, other than that, I
was fairly oblivious about everything else. I heard the gossip about Tris's involvement in
Basketball and Rugger and the general chit‑chat, say, about the drinking and dining clubs and
the so‑called Hooray‑Henries which the College seemed to have in a decreasing number.
Outside College I had made friends at the Club. A gay enclave and some very nice people.
I'd got to know Jason and Liam fairly well. Jason came regularly for an organ lesson each
week and was progressing well. He said now that Adam was back he was getting on with the
History A Level and the two PhD students who were helping him with the other two subjects
were great.
I think I had made friends with James Tanner and Safar especially and the Chaplain
and his wife were most solicitous about not only mine but everyone's welfare. I felt all
treated me as equals and discussed this in a NOK session later. Even Gabe said although
Doctor Alice Anstruther‑Lamb scared the bloody knickers off him she was a friendly old soul
and was always ready for a cup of tea and a chat after knocking his bloody brain for six. He
said Lorenzo felt the same about his tutor even if he did have the habit of tapping Lo just
above the knee to make a point when sitting side by side poring over some Italian text.
Tris was especially voluble that night after the presentation. "Marky, old love, I just
watched you with admiration. First up and you didn't show any nerves. You had poise and
his Lordship saw that, too, when he spoke to you at the end. And I watched James Tanner
when he was talking to you earlier. You and he, and I mean it properly, were like father and
son. Paul told me James can't quite make you out. He said he thinks he recognises a bit of
himself in you..."
"But, Tris," I said interrupting him and moving my head up to look into his eyes,
"He's an internationally known mathematician and I'm...."
He silenced me with a kiss on my lips. "..But he had to start somewhere, too, don't
forget," he said quietly as we parted and started to make serious, ardent, impassioned love.
However much we did each night only meant that it primed us ready for our next
encounter. There were always differences, subtle differences now, in our approaches to each
other. We never set out to be the dominant or the submissive partner. In fact, there was no
dominance even with one or the other thrusting and ramming ever more insistently before
speeding to that final release of all our love. We lay afterwards caressing the one spent by
his exertions until the other was ready for whatever pleasure he wanted to share. Sharing it
was. If, for example, Tris brought me to a staggering culmination with my spunk spraying
uncontrollably over one or both of us our lips and tongues would be ready both to receive and
give. We knew that all belonged to each other.
The Burns Night weekend at Ulvescott Manor came all too quicky. We both felt our
work was mounting up but the weekend would be a welcome break. Safar said he and his
wife would drive Tris and me to the Manor. Adam said he would go on the motor‑bike as
long as we carried his luggage. Cheek! Ivo would make the cross‑country journey from the
village where he was staying. Uncle George and Aunt Sophie would be travelling by train all
the way from Dorset and would be collected from the station by one of the guards. That left
Mum, Dad and the Toad who were driving up ‑ Dad had chuntered on that the A1M would be
hell on a Friday afternoon. Toad wangled the afternoon off from school so they could set out
earlier.
That meant when we rolled up the rest of our family were all there. We were
welcomed by the Sheik and the elder Dr Thomson and had to recount a bit of the discovery.
Frankie was nowhere to be seen. He'd been commandeered by Saf's two young sons again
and appeared with the elder one grasping his hand and the younger one being carried, with
the wolfhound trotting along beside them. "Just been to see the workshops," he said in
explanation. Tris and I were then leapt upon and had to listen while the elder one extolled
Frankie's virtues ‑ the virtuous one just stood and grinned while making a fuss of the huge
dog. I asked where all the others were. Mum and Dad were still at the musical instrument
workshop and Uncle George and the Colonel, with Aunt Sophie, were in the study reliving
army life. I'd forgotten that Uncle George had been a soldier and was an officer before
getting married and taking over his father's farm. It was a bit chaotic to say the least.
Frankie said we three were in the Horsebox and Ivo and Adam would be in Piers' room. I
asked, first of all, before making any comments about him sharing with us, where the Thugs
were at the moment.
"Last seen going into the room upstairs, arguing as usual. Don't laugh when you see
Ivo," he said and would not be drawn on what about Ivo would make one laugh.
So to find out we trundled upstairs with our bags and went to the Horsebox first.
Even there we could hear Adam's raised voice so we dropped everything and went through
the bathroom and into Piers' room through the open door.
"And I tell you, shave the bloody thing off before dinner tonight," Adam's aggrieved
voice was loud and clear. There was Ivo standing on the other side of the bed. He was
sporting a neat little goatee beard as black and as dense as his shock of hair. "You look like
one of Mum's bloody goats and that's the nanny! Your balls aren't big enough to be a ram!"
Ivo saw us and held up a hand. "Hi, just getting an earful from Popeye here. He
couldn't grow a beard if he wanted to." He directed the rest at his brother, who was standing
with his back to us. "Needs testosterone, matey, and that's something you woefully lack.
Little gland in your little brain, sunshine, you ought to get it to work a bit."
Adam swung round. "You two, tell him what a dickhead he looks!"
"Haven't seen any dick heads with such a crop of hair. Hairy balls but not hairy dick
heads," said Tris.
"I need backing up, great prune he looks," said Adam to Tris with quite a vindictive
tone.
Ivo wasn't too pleased either. "Trust you to make mock, too. I can tell you this style
is all the rage in Rothenia at the moment and as I'm going there for Easter with 'Tory I want
to show willing."
"Show willing, as long as it's not...."
"...Shut up," I said interrupting the ebb and flow, "I can hear the patter of tiny feet."
It was too. Little Jeremy rushed in first followed by Frankie carrying Andrew.
"Uncle Ivo! Uncle Ivo! Grandpa Lachs wants you! He knows where you're going.."
A muttered 'More than we do!' was heard in the land.
"You know which one's Uncle Ivo?" I asked
"Yes, I saw him downstairs," he looked from one brother to the other, "They're twins,
aren't they, like Daddy and Uncle Jak?" He looked pointedly at Ivo. "I know him though
'cause he looks like Mr Sampson's Billy."
"Billy?" I asked.
He nodded. "Billy's got a beard like that but it's straggly." His nose wrinkled. "And
he smells. We don't go near him."
"Very wise," said Adam, "Sniff Uncle Ivo."
A very obedient boy did just that. Ivo lifted him up and he brushed his nose against
his cheek. "You smell nice. Not like that horrible goat!"
Honours were even. Billy must have balls! Something for Ivo to point out to his
brother later.
Ivo went off carrying both small boys. Frankie had a smile on his face.
"I didn't think I liked small kids but they're smashing. Jeremy's full of questions and
Andrew tries to imitate all he does."
"Getting broody, duckie?" I said and reached up and ruffled his very neat gelled‑up
hair.
He didn't even duck away. "If you put it like that, yes, I suppose so. I suppose we
were like that..."
"...Once upon a time," said Adam with a laugh. "I must say I feel the same when you
see two bright kids like that. At least he recognised Ivo's male!"
"D'you think we'll have kids like that in a few years time, Adam?" Frankie was in a
really pensive mood.
"Frankie, to tell you the truth I don't know about me." He nodded. "You, definitely,
and Uncle Adam will be there to keep them in order."
"It's just.." he hesitated, "..It's this place. I feel I keep being told things and I'll know
about them later."
"Yes," I said, "I know what you mean. I think Ivo and Adam will learn more as well.
I feel at home here, too."
"Funny you should say that, Marky," said Adam, "As soon as I came through that
front door it was like I'd been here before, or I'd known it all my life."
I said how this room was the 'peaceful room' of my dreams. Tris said we had better
ask the younger Dr Thomson to tell us more.
After unpacking we went downstairs again where there was a general buzz of
conversation. Ivo was sitting with his father and the Colonel. The Sheik had Mum and Aunt
Sophie either side and his dark eyes were glittering with fun as they were laughing over
something or other, I think it was a photograph of Aunt Sophie as a young girl in her bathing
costume showing off the birthmark. Dad and Safar were with the older Dr Thomson and
were studying a music manuscript and the other twins, Jak and Saf, were playing with Saf's
two small boys and Frankie joined that group immediately. Of course, there were questions
about the finding of the treasure and all the other things. I heard Jak ask Frankie how far
he'd got in the translated book. Frankie wrinkled his nose, 'About page 10 I think.' The
twins laughed, knowing full well that most boys would read and re‑read those opening pages
where the youngsters are observed as I had done.
Before dinner the young boys had gone off to bed. Their mother, Chrissie, came
down and beckoned me and Tris. "Mark, Jeremy wants you two to read the bedtime story
tonight to them and tomorrow he wants Uncle Ivo and Uncle Adam and could they play with
Francis all day tomorrow?" She laughed. "I think I'll pack them up and you can take them
off to College about fifteen years early!" Five minutes into the joint telling from a very old
battered copy of 'Swiss Family Robinson' they were contentedly fast asleep.
Dinner was quite formal. Exquisitely cooked by the resident chefs and served by lads
from the local Catering College we heard. We also heard that the Burns Night Supper the
next night would have more attending. I was rather open‑mouthed when the Colonel
announced that his son and wife would be there as well as Jody Fuller and Peter DeLisle. I'd
heard of them. In fact I'd seen a ballet they had choreographed at Sadler's Wells. Yes, I had
seen the dotted lines on the family tree in Piers' room. Jody Fuller was Dr Thomson's sixth
'son', and the Colonel's son had been adopted by him and was number three. All rather
complicated.
Bed that night was no complication. We said goodnight to Ivo (still with neat beard)
and Adam and warned Toad if he so much as moved during the night he would have to sleep
in the bath. We were called decrepit old things and we needed our beauty sleep more than he
did and was only shut up when Tris took down a very whippy riding crop, labelled
Gymkhana 1927, from the wall and said 'one more word, laddie!'.
No, it wasn't bad. The bed was big enough and wide enough to accommodate three
hefty lads and what with the good food and the very nice wine, or grape juice as it was
delicately called, we all soon fell asleep. My recollection of the night was such a peaceful
atmosphere broken by what could only be described as a sort of storm. Dark clouds but these
were dispersed suddenly by the bright rays of the sun breaking through. Whatever that
foretold I knew I would survive, somewhat affected, but essentially unscathed.
Frankie woke us just before seven o'clock as he had been sleeping between us.
"Must go for a pee and I'll check on the others." We grunted. Being woken up like that
meant I needed a pee, too. After I heard the flush I sidled out, discharged a copious amount
and peeked in through the half‑open door of Piers' room. Frankie was sitting on the upright
chair by the bed gazing at the still fast asleep twins. They were facing each other head to
head. I could see Ivo had his arm round Adam's shoulder and their breathing was absolutely
synchronous.
He stood up, smiled at me and we left the room. "I slept like that last night," he said,
"I felt once that somebody had their arm round me just like that. I knew I was safe."
We had just got back to the Horsebox when the door handle was rattled. I tipped
Frankie out to investigate. He opened the door and there was young Jeremy with little
thumb‑sucking Andrew in tow.
"Mum and Dad are asleep," Jeremy announced, "And Andrew wants to do a wee and
I can't find the lav."
Uncle Francis was patience itself. I watched as he led the two boys through to the
bathroom and left them to it. I'd noticed there was even a small stool for small boys to stand
on which must have dated back to Piers' young days.
"Is he still asleep?" was Jeremy's first question when they returned. He was pointing
at Tris who was pretending to be asleep. "And where is Uncle Ivo?" was the second.
Frankie and I took the boys through to the other room and perched them on the bed
with the sleeping Ivo and Adam. Jeremy put his arm across Ivo as he lay down. "I think
we'll stay here. The boy can tell us another story."
I said to Frankie I thought I would wash and dress and he might as well follow as
things would get crowded. In fact we were down having a quiet breakfast with the Colonel
who was also an early riser when the other three lads came down. They were laughing as the
two little'uns wanted to come down in their pyjamas but were trundled back to their parents'
room where Chrissie, now awake, was wondering where they had got to.
Tris asked the Colonel a bit about the Manor and we sat, fascinated, as he told of his
early visits but he said we should talk to Dr Thomson of how he had first experienced the
place way back in the early 1940's.
There was plenty to do and see that day and also to prepare for the Burns Night
Supper. Ivo and Adam were particularly calm all day. No argy‑bargy, no arguments, just
talking together quietly and going around with very satisfied smiles. They also talked to the
three old gentlemen and Ivo spent ages with the elder Dr Thomson as he had taught French at
one of the other Colleges. Tris and I at lunch sat with the younger Dr Thomson and his
friend, Ibrahim. They said the arrangements for the evening would include a piper and they
hoped we would be dressed appropriately.
During the afternoon other guests began to arrive. It was going to be quite a gala
evening. Mum and Dad knew several, the ballet contingent especially, and there was much
laughter. Frankie was itching to get changed and was warned he wasn't to think of going
'commando' as he put it. We said the dog would be on sentry duty and he would sniff out
any uncovered appendages. Anyway, the contingent of kilted warriors would have put
Braveheart to shame even if great‑grandmothers were the nearest we could get to the glens.
The Colonel was in mess jacket and tartan trews and the other two wore dinner jackets with
their trews, otherwise it was the wearing of the kilt. Then it was the Grace, then soup followed by the piper leading the chef carrying the dish of haggis. The Colonel did the address to the haggis and plunged his dirk and let free 'the gushing entrails..'. There were tatties and neeps and plenty of the golden 'gravy', a rather special Highland malt whisky, to accompany. As the dinner progressed we had the usual toasts, 'To the Ladies!' and the ladies response, which Aunt Sophie did to much applause, to 'Absent Friends' and 'To The Queen'. These were interspersed with the usual poems and after Ivo had brought the house down with 'On seeing a louse on a ladies bonnet in church', Saf recited 'My luve is like a red, red rose' and raised his glass to Chrissie, his wife.
After dinner we were all commanded to entertain. Safar, in a Cameron tartan kilt,
accompanied Dad in his Frobisher kilt, which we had discovered was one great‑grandmother,
in a selection of Scottish airs and dances. We had an impromptu sword‑dance performed by
the retired ballet stars, and the ladies, swathed in tartans of all sorts, grabbed gentlemen and
did a rather hectic and unpolished eightsome reel, with Frankie whirling like a dervish and
his kilt rising as he twirled. I played and Tris sang two Scottish ballads and we all ended up
in a glorious circle linking hands and singing 'Auld Lang Syne'. It was, no doubt, one of the
happiest evenings I had ever had.
Next day we had all sobered up and people were departing. Tris and I sat with Ivo
and Adam during the morning and they said they'd both experienced that quiet presence. Ivo
said he knew his destiny now and we didn't ask. Adam was more unsure we felt. He had a
career most probably mapped out. Research and lecturing. But he needed love in his life.
He confided that he and Dude got on very well. They were ardent lovers but they knew they
would not be life‑long companions. Dude had said that Adam really needed someone
younger but he was content at the moment. Ivo did say he missed the daily tussle of mind
and body with Adam. To be parted now after twenty‑one years or so was strange and he
hoped he was coping. Adam said the trip to America had helped him adjust to the changes in
his life. He was glad though he was back in College and there were good friends around.
At the first NOK session all the others wanted to know how the weekend went. As
Jak had taken numerous photos with his digital camera and had sent copies by e‑mail to Tris
there were many questions about the guests and plenty of giggles over the stories told. We
then heard that another of the 'druggie crowd' as Josh called them had ended up in
Addenbrookes at the weekend. The Master was having a meeting with the President of the
Students' Union and his committee to discuss matters and as Josh was Acting Social
Secretary he would be there. Also Drew was making himself even more obnoxious as he was
not only ranting on the Market Square even on bitterly cold days but was now more
determinedly banging on doors and demanding the occupants should give up their sinful
ways. He seemed to have targeted the new double‑occupancy sets in particular.
"What calumnies, my dears," said Charles, rather aggrieved at this and shaking his
head, "I'm sure there is no more activity of a morally reprehensible nature in those sets than
in the others to which I have seen numerous young ladies, and even young gentlemen, being
escorted."
"Keeping your ear to the ground, eh Charles?" said Ben, "Or do you have a
telescope?"
"Benjamin, my sweet, if you cast your eyes further than studying the causes of the
Great Depression...," He was reading Economics with Mathematics. "...you would be aware
that two of your confederates on the self‑same course are spending more time studying the
curves of a different order of supply and demand most evenings. The progress of input and
output are readily discernible as one takes a stroll to and from the Porter's Lodge. I am sure
the names will spring effortlessly to mind if I mention my little difficulty in assigning
compatible pairs. At least with single occupancy they are not encumbered with having to
make excuses to the other inhabitant."
We were laughing at this usual Charles‑type rigmarole and Ben snickered. "Yes, Mr
Pretty has landed a rather stunning young lady, much to the annoyance of a fellow student at
Pembroke, but I am not aware of Phil Orford's paramour. He seems a bit of a loner in
lectures."
Charles held up his glass, "Benjamin, even if you freshened my gin and tonic I would
not divulge such particulars but I know that Drew Penry‑Jones has made him a particular
object of his attentions. Whether it is because he is the choir or whether he is seen in the
company of certain persons I would not hazard a guess to the cause, except I have heard him
exhorting the young man in no uncertain terms to abjure various evils and then listing their
consequences in relation to his soul and the afterlife."
Ben took the hint and 'freshened' the glass. 'Freshened' being another term Charles
had imported from the States.
"But, Charles," said Adam, "Why doesn't he just give Drew the Bryce treatment and
up‑end him in the fountain?"
"I think there may be some differences, pardon my observations dear Gabriel and
Joshua, between the more exuberant belligerence of some of the Antipodean brethren as seen
in their annihilation of other countries in the matter of Rugby Football and the more placid
nature of young men brought up in the Home Counties in England. A mere observation, I
must make clear."
"Fucking too right," grunted a rather amused Gabe, "Namby‑pamby little gits."
Before war between the hemispheres broke out it was time for some conciliatory
gesture. Tris was to the fore, even though he was definitely Home Counties material and
played Rugby Football. "Hey, Boz," he said with as straight a face as possible after the
previous interlude, "You haven't divulged how far you've got with your Templars for ages.
Tell all!"
"Not much really. I'm still trying to make out whether the Confraternity of the Holy
Sepulchre who are supposed to have built the Cambridge Round Church had anything to do
with the Knights Templar. It's obvious the Knights were around this area at the time,
somewhere around 1170 and I've had some pointers looking at an old document supposedly
written by Aymeric de St Maur who was at the church in 1200. He notes the rumours of
treasure and mentions what can only be Baldock from studying the old map with the
document."
"Treasure again!" said Ben with a laugh. "If it's the Templar treasure it'll rival all
the stuff found below here!"
"Too true," said Boz, "But don't get too excited. There are so many guesses to what
the treasure might be from a phial of Christ's Blood, to the Holy Grail, to actual money and
jewels."
"Like those books?" asked Ben. "My Dad's had so many people asking if he believes
Jesus Christ married Mary Magdalene and, if so, who's related now. He's also had two
women in the parish who believe they're the Virgin Mary. Being a vicar you meet some real
wierdos!"
"I can believe that," said Gabe, even more amused that his provocative statement
hadn't taken wings. "There's a bloke parades around bloody Sydney saying he's the
Messiah."
"Need one for Australia!" said Oliver, hoping to stir the embers a bit. No takers! We
looked at each other. Gabe must be mellowing.
Boz ignored the interruption and went on. "That about the Blood is odd as the Holy
Sepulchre church in London was supposed to have it. In fact Henry the Third had a
procession from St Paul's to Westminster in 1247 carrying the relic. And what is interesting
is that it has disappeared since then."
"And it may be around still?" asked Josh.
Boz shrugged his shoulders. "There are a number of documents around which
suggest it might have been brought to Cambridge, or might be in the vaults of Westminster
Abbey where he's buried. No codes though, just ecclesiastical Latin."
"Are you going digging?" asked Gabe.
"Only for documents," laughed Boz, "I've got plenty to read now, but anything else is
always welcome. I hope to be allowed to trawl through all that stuff from the monasteries
because none of the wealth of the Templars has ever been found and they did act as bankers."
All this speculation! Boz had shown me his listing of all the places where Templar
treasure might be found and had said how excited the people of Royston, just along the road
from Cambridge, had been in the 1700's when a cave had ben discovered and shown to have
been painted with religious imagery. No treasure. Then there was a church fairly near in a
village where rumours had always been around. Perhaps more excavation. But it was
evidence he needed, he said. Still, making sense of the documentation he had got was
fascinating in itself.
There was something rankling with Gabe though. There were a few moments silence
while glasses were refilled then Gabe grunted. "Anyway got some news for you all. My
fucking little brother's coming over. Dad's got fed up with him idling his arse off surfing
and sunning and thinks I should look after the little bastard here."
"At the College?" asked Tris.
"No. Bastard's only bloody seventeen and he needs a fucking firm hand I can tell ya.
Mum's little boy he is and got a mouth like a bloody sewer. Ya may think I have a bloody
one or two too many but he's had the push from two schools for telling the bloody beaks
where to shove their bloody rules.
"He's not too bad," interjected Josh, "Mum says he's OK with her."
"Your Mum's a bloody saint," said Gabe vehemently, "Fucking put up with you and
that lairy bloody sister of yours." He quietened down. "Sorry, Josh, you know what I mean.
Raph did the dirty on me over me best mate. Fucking squealed to Dad that I was being
porked when he was caught videoing those kids shagging in the dunes. Mum said he was
getting shots for his school project but we fucking knew he was going to post it on the Net."
We were all giggling even though poor Gabe was getting even more worked up. Boz
was being conciliatory. He ignored the 'porking' and the 'shagging in the dunes' ‑ things to
be returned to at some time. "What's his name, Gabe? You said Raph. Another angel?
Raphael?"
Gabe grunted. "Too bloody true! Bastard's no bloody angel I can tell you." He took
quite a swig from his glass. "Mum's got this thing about angels. Looks like a bloody angel.
All blond curls but no fucking halo!" He laughed. "Still he's been caught shagging the
daughter of a mate of Dad's who's not too pleased."
It was Josh's turn to laugh. "Her dad's a bloody politician. Bent as a bloody
corkscrew! There, Gabe, I've said it for you."
Gabe nodded. "The bastard's said he goes, or he'll get Dad chucked out of the Golf
Club. God, she's at least twenty and I should think every prick at the Golf Club's been
entertained to at least eighteen holes. How fucking Raph got a look in I don't know."
"He was at that school with her brother and they've both got quad bikes," said Josh,
"He was always over at their house."
"House!" said Gabe vehemently, "Fucking mansion! Nearly did the dirty on Dad over
that. Blamed him 'cause of some regulation he broke when it was built but talked his way
out of it. It was that brother with Raph up the dunes."
"So, what will he do when he comes over here?" Tris asked.
"Fuck knows," said Gabe rather disconsolately, "Need a bloody strong hand to keep
the bugger under control."
"What about that chap at the Club. The DCI, Brad? His son and mate are in the
house as well," Oliver said.
Gabe brightened up. "Fuck me!" he breathed, "Bloody good idea! He'd have to toe
the line there! D'you think I could ask him?"
"Worth a try," said Tris. "I'm sure we'll help. What's his school work like?"
"Last I heard from my Mum he's not too bad," said Josh, "He's living at our place
and he seems to have settled down a bit. Mum says he just needs a bit of understanding."
Gabe began to gobble. "Little bastard. I'll understand him!"
Tris leaned over and filled Gabe's glass. "Cool it, lad. He did you a kindness.
You're over here and you're enjoying it. You've got Lorenzo now and you've told us he's
what you've always wanted. So, give your brother a break. You can't do much about it.
He's coming, full stop, eh?"
Gabe sat back. "S'pose so! Will you come and see Brad with me? Appreciate it."
Tris nodded and Gabe was mollified and took a satisfied swig from his glass. But,
other things were rankling.
"Bloody students," he began. "Josh and I were coming across the bridge from the
boathouse in our sweats and I was in front and passed a coupla hoorays perving at the
boaties." There were always students and others peering at the eights passing underneath the
bridge and Tris and I had 'perved' on numerous occasions at the hunky straining biceps and
thighs of the oarsmen and wondered if they put as much effort into their bedtime activities.
Probably too tired was our opinion. But... "Musta been Classics twats 'cos one looked
round at me and said to his pal, 'Vervex' and the other sniggered and said 'merus inepta'.
Bloody hell! Bloody sheepshead and bloody stupid! I just turned and pointed at the first one
as Josh came up and said in my best fucking la‑di‑dah 'Ecce, stercus pro cerebro habes' and
for bloody good measure pointed at the second one and said 'hic scholasticus prothex!'.
There was a slight silence, broken only by a snort from Boz, until Gabe looked round
at the rest of us. "Bloody hell! I forget you fuckers ain't had a proper education." He shook
his head and enunciated carefully, "'Shit for brains' and 'arsehole'! God! I don't know what
this bloody world is coming to!" He sniggered. "Shoulda seen their fucking faces, though.
Thought they were in for a bloody dip in the river!!"
Of course, in bed that night, there was plenty to discuss. We had a little giggle about
Gabe getting worked up and also his reaction to the students. I said Tris was such a good
friend to everyone and he told me he was very fond of Gabe anyway. Yes, he'd go with him
to see Brad and we should all be in on this. I said OK, mate, but you'll be off next year to
Law School. He said we'd cope without him. It took a moment or two to sort that out.
Cheeky hound! I did give him a kiss. Then Tris wanted to know if I knew who Philip Orford
was 'friendly' with, given that he'd had a very intimate dance with him at the Club when the
Freshers ended up there. I said I didn't know but he wasn't to get any ideas as I'd noted both
Pretty and Orford were members of the Basketball Club and there was to be no sharing of
soap or towels and was the lad well‑hung? Tris said moderately. My chance! We giggled
together even more as I tackled him both bodily and verbally. Verbally over having eyed the
lad's equipment; bodily to determine whether I would assess him as being well‑hung. I did.
Then he assessed me and this lead to a tussle and a rather exuberant end to the day.
The next morning was cold and we wrapped up well before embarking on our run.
This was now a staircase ritual and as we filed out into a cold, damp, Cambridge morning we
all moaned about how conditioned we'd become to such a rite. "Think of breakfast after,"
said Josh. "I'm thinking of it before," said Boz, who led us that day.
It was chilly and we decided to turn back after about two miles or so, my third hedge,
and as Tris and I stripped off for our showers we looked at each other and grinned. "More
wrinkles than inches this morning," he said. Thank goodness the hot water thawed us both
out!
I had a busy morning. Two lectures and a quick coffee with the girls to sort out
whether we had everything down in our notes. I wanted to practice most of the afternoon as I
had decided to take the Fellowship next Christmas and I needed an hour or so to think quietly
about the problems set. Must be calm even though Part One was looming next term.
I was back in my study about quarter past twelve and realised I hadn't collected my
post from the Porter's Lodge. I had just got out of the staircase door when the Chaplain
came hurrying up.
"Mark, Mark!" he looked worried, "There's an awful noise coming from the Chapel.
The organ's going full blast and the main door and the vestry door are locked and my keys
are at home."