I wouldn’t tell Daniel about my dream at the beach until months later. But the dream bothered me. At odd times over the next few days, I would think of the evil doctor. At other times, the look of that lady at the hamburger stand would flash across my mind. I would see her face and feel condemned, unclean. I tried to reassure myself that I was not an “untouchable.”
Especially after the weekend at the beach with the cousins, I struggled with my feelings for guys in general, and for Daniel in particular. I still rode to school with Stef, but I spent what time I could with Daniel. We ate lunch together. We visited between classes. He filled my mind, and when we were together, I wanted to touch him. I wanted to hold him.
It was too fast. It was all happening too fast. Before it was too late, I decided I needed to get a girlfriend.
Tuesday night after workout, I called Rachael on the phone and we talked for a long time. Rachael was beautiful, and while we talked I tried to picture her. But eventually I wanted to end the call, just so I could talk to Daniel.
I had lunch with Rachael the next day.
Thursday morning, Daniel told me he wanted to meet for lunch. Uninvited, Rachael joined us. But that was to be expected. In her mind at least, we were becoming a couple. She sat beside me and Daniel sat across the table.
When one of Rachael’s friends joined her on the other side and the two of them began talking, Daniel leaned close. “No game tomorrow night, right?”
“Yeah,” I answered. “But Rachael and I have a date.”
Daniel nodded, frowning at me so slightly that it was only something that I would notice. “What about Saturday?”
I shrugged. “Nothing in particular.”
“How about we do a bike ride… down to the beach?” he asked with a faint smile. “Uncle James is taking his whole family to Houston to see my sick uncle.” He leaned closer. “They’re taking Austin and Ryan, too. And this time my parents are going. We can ride down, fish, spend the night, and ride back on Sunday.”
I leaned forward on my elbows. Finally, I thought, just us. I nodded enthusiastically. “Let’s do it.”
Rachael was listening now and laced her arms through mine, possessively. Suddenly, I was sorry I was going to be with her Friday night and not Daniel.
When I was with Rachael, I couldn’t be myself. Sometimes it wasn’t any better with Stef or Aaron. Stef wanted all my friendship; Aaron was always horny. But with Daniel, I could relax. He knew me, inside and out, and let me be myself; though I knew he wanted me to be gay.
Daniel was fun to be with. I never knew how much pleasure it could be, just to watch your lover move, or stand, or read, or any of a hundred things he’d do when he didn’t know you were watching. And more and more, when I was with him, I felt like I was who I was supposed to be.
Friday night, I made out with Rachael, but my mind was on the next day’s bike ride.
The phone rang early. There was a knock at our bedroom door. “Daniel on the phone,” Mom said. “He’s probably calling because it’s pouring rain.”
Over on his bed, Colin pulled his pillow over his head. He was uncovered down to his butt crack and I looked him over, proud that my brother looked so good. I pulled on shorts, popped Colin’s butt, and headed for the door. I was disappointed that Colin ignored me completely.
“I’m not sure about a bike ride,” Daniel said with a chuckle.
“Nah, me neither,” I said, looking out the back windows. Water was already pooling in the back yard. “What do you want to do?”
“Drive you to the beach. We can still go down there.”
“Hell yes!” I said.
Mom frowned, walking past.
“Oh my, yes!” I corrected myself, smirking at Mom.
She rolled her eyes.
“What’s with Rachael?” Daniel finally asked when we were half way to the beach.
“You have to ask?” I said. “She’s hot.”
He looked out through the rivulets of water on his window. “Still trying to not be gay?” he asked quietly.
Shrugging, I looked out my window. “I told you. I like girls, too.”
“You told me,” he said, “that you loved me.”
I pulled up my knees; hunkering down in my seat. “You know I do.”
“You sure?” he asked, giving me a hard look.
“Damn it, Daniel,” I grumbled. “We’ve both screwed around with other guys. Why are you worried about Rachael?”
He looked back through the windshield and chewed his lip. “Maybe because you don’t want to be gay and I’m not a girl.”
I studied his face; the face I loved. “If you were a girl,” I said quietly. “I’d go straight.”
A smile spread slowly across his face. “So,” he said, turning toward me again, and cocking an eyebrow, “if I were a girl, you’d go straight? Does that mean since I’m a guy, you’ll go gay?”
Frowning, I turned to my window again. “Don’t tease me, Dan.” I looked out at the sad rain and quietly said what I felt. “That’s exactly what my heart wants me to do.”
As I pressed my forehead to the glass, I felt his hand gently caress my shoulder.
Perhaps it was the weather. I felt quiet, subdued. We carried our bags into the house. And quietly, we undressed each other and made love tenderly, languidly. Afterward, we napped and then I went out to sit on a couch in the living room so I could watch rain clouds, low over the bay.
When Daniel woke, he joined me on the couch. Sitting sideways, he maneuvered me around to sit between his legs and I lay back against his chest. Daniel wrapped a blanket around the two of us and slid forward so that my butt was snug between his legs. I relaxed against him, and he kissed behind my ear. “You’re comfortable,” I told him, pulling his arms around me. “It’s always comfortable, being with you.”
He pressed his lips to the top of my shoulder. “Maybe because I’m comfortable with you,” he said.
The rain came down harder, pelting the windows. “Want some hot cocoa?” he asked.
“Not yet,” I replied, and laid my head back onto his shoulder.
Daniel stroked my stomach, and I murmured my appreciation. He nuzzled my hair. “It’s pretty out there,” he said. “The storm and all.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, looking out the window. “Romantic.”
Daniel leaned forward and I could feel his eyes close on the side of my face. “You’re a funny guy, Sean. Trying not to be gay, but being romantic.”
I shrugged. “We’re snuggled naked under a blanket, in a beach house on a stormy weekend, and you’re talking hot cocoa.” I patted his thigh. “We’re lovers, Daniel. Why deny it?”
He laughed and mouthed my neck. Pressing his hands flat on my stomach, he pulled me tight. “Does that mean,” he asked after a pause, “that you’ve come to any conclusions about yourself.”
I sighed. “About being gay? No. And I don’t have to,” I said. “All I have to know is how I feel about you. OK?”
“And you feel… love?” he asked, his breath on the side of my neck. “You love me?”
“You know I love you,” I said.
“And you feel other things?” Daniel nuzzled behind my ear. “Desire?”
“Yes,” I whispered and reached behind me for his hip. “Always, desire.”
A beach house in stormy weather, naked, blankets, pillows, cool sheets, hot cocoa. All those remain in my memory. Saturday night, we talked, played guitar, cuddled to watch TV, and slept. Sunday morning, the sex was hot and athletic. Sunday afternoon was sensual and sexually creative, as we tried a couple of positions Dan thought up when we discovered we could both suck our own cocks.
A thunderstorm gave us an excuse to stay late on Sunday. We ate snacks and traded back rubs. It was difficult to head back home.
I’d finally had my weekend alone with Daniel, on clean sheets. And I was sorry I’d started up with Rachael. But it would be hard to cool things with her now; now that we’d started. Besides, I wasn’t completely sure I wanted to. Crazy as it sounds, I wasn’t ready to completely let go the hope that I was at least half-straight. Daniel and I hung together and rode on weekends, but I continued to date Rachael.
Before the end of the football season, she and I had sex in the back seat of my car. It happened unexpectedly (for me at least) and I had no condom. We made love anyway, and the feel of her tight warmth and wetness, directly on my cock, skin to skin, the beauty and feel of her breasts, her soft wet kisses, and her total submission to my manhood, all allowed me to believe that I was truly bisexual. I drew comfort from that; even if Rachael and I did sweat out a couple of weeks to her next period.
After we turned in our football equipment, the coach called me into his office. “You aren’t going out for basketball?” he accused more than asked.
I shuffled my feet uncomfortably. Even though I liked basketball, I wanted more time with Daniel. “I’ve got a lot going on right now coach. I think I’ll wait for track in the spring.”
Our head coach was a curmudgeon of a guy, with thick gray hair and a weathered face. He looked up at me from under his thick, busy eyebrows and shook his head. “You’re too good an athlete, Sean. You need to stay in sports.”
“Oh, I am, coach,” I said. “I’ve been getting into bicycling. Some really long rides.”
Coach snorted. “You’ll never get a college scholarship for bicycling. I want you out for basketball.”
Well I liked coach, and he was intimidating. But I wanted to be with Daniel. “Sorry, Coach. Not this year.”
He studied me from under those eyebrows. “Then I want you in weight training and the off-season program. And you can get ready for track. Work on that speed of yours.” He said it with an air of finality. I was dismissed. And I had better show up for weights.
My personal tug-of-war continued. Even though I dated Rachael; I spent every moment I could with Daniel. We finally managed our bike ride to the beach the first weekend after our last football game.
Our idea was to ride into the gulf breeze on the way down and use that same breeze to fly home the next day. However, a “blue norther” (which is Texan for a stormy, wet, cold front) blew through that night with lightning and thunder. What with the storm, and having to fight cousins off, and then a brief lovemaking interlude toward the morning, we were exhausted. Unfortunately, the norther had changed the wind direction, and the next day we had to fight a strong breeze out of the northwest as we biked home. It was a hell of a ride.
Our football season had gone well. My football season had gone well. I was dating one of the prettiest girls in school (and she was “putting out” for me). My grades were good. Everything was going great.
Except that I was deeply in love with a boy.
Stef tried from time-to-time to get us to bed again. Austin came by, with the same idea. Ryan came by, but when he did, he brought a book for me to see, or a magazine article, or even a fish once. How I felt about Ryan surprised me. I found myself delighting in him, really delighting. Oh, there was a magnetism, a sexual tension between us, but we held it at bay and became… friends.
And then there was Colin.
Colin and I had always been good brothers for each other. We were best buddies as kids and now, good friends, supportive; better brothers than most. And yet, we had never really shared anything much that was personal, especially about our sexual sides. That was probably because of the religious nature of our home.
A few years before, he had caught me masturbating, and I was the one who taught him how. When I began to sleep in only my underwear, he did, too. And when I tried sleeping in the nude, Colin did so in his bed. We slept in the same room and had heard each other jacking off at night. We’d seen plenty of each other’s morning wood. (Colin wasn’t as long as me, but perhaps thicker.)
We shared the same bathroom. I knew Colin jerked off in the shower. He knew I did. We had each stumbled onto the other, but had backed out and kept discreet.
But now, ever since Austin told me that he had heard in the scouts that Colin messed around, I found it difficult to look at Colin in the same way that I always had. I began to notice his long muscular legs and torso, his slender hips and muscled butt, his blue eyes and deep red hair, and the thick little patch of red pubic hair over his long cock.
I had my dad’s coloring and Colin had my mom’s. I had her personality, Colin had my dad’s. Unlike my tan skin, Colin had smooth, creamy-white skin. But just like me, he had virtually no body fat. Every muscle showed.
Try as I might to not, I found my eyes occasionally drawn to Colin’s body with appreciation, and mixed feelings. I even imagined, that more than once, Colin looked at me the same way.
At the age of fourteen, Colin and James were still in the scouts because they liked it, and were both hoping to reach “eagle.” I’m not sure why Austin was still in. But they were in it together, and camped together.
In mid-November, Colin returned from a weekend campout and was unusually quiet. I caught him looking at me, almost speculatively, and I worried about what Austin might have said to him.
On Thursday night, I was already in bed, eyes closed, almost asleep, when Colin turned off our light for the night. He surprised me when he crawled into my bed.
“What are you doing?” I asked in a loud whisper.
“I want to talk,” he whispered back.
“About what?”
He was quiet a long time. My eyes adjusted to the dark and I could begin to make out his eyes, wide-set like mine, on his face. “James didn’t go this weekend,” he said. “So I shared a tent with Austin.” He swallowed hard and his eyes stayed on mine. “We messed around.”
“So?” I asked, “was that your first time?”
“Nah, course not… well, first time in a while.” He shifted. “And don’t tell me you never have. I already knew you had. But Austin says that now you and Daniel mess around all the time… that’s what I wanted to talk about. Sean,” he asked quietly, “are you and Daniel queer?”
I almost didn’t breathe. “Don’t be stupid,” I said. “Daniel’s dad is a psychiatrist and he says it’s normal for guys our age to mess around some.”
Colin nodded slowly.
“Colin,” I said, “Rachael and I have been ‘doing it’ almost every date.”
My brother’s eyes widened and a smile spread across his face. “Excellent!” he said softly.
“What about you and Susan?” I asked. “Have ya’ll ever done anything?”
“Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “We hardly even make out.” He fluffed the pillow under his head. “Tell me about you and Rachael.”
I chuckled. “She loves it, Colin. When I fuck her, she fucks back.”
His eyes went wide.
And so I told him about our first time and about the few times, ways, and places we’d had sex, trying to make it sound like vast, heterosexual experience. He listened enraptured and his face seemed flushed, even in the dark room.
“Wow,” he said softly when I finished. Then he frowned slightly. “But you still mess around with Daniel?”
I shrugged. “Yeah.”
He thought about that, eyes distant. Then he looked back at me. “Hearing about you and Rachael… I’m rock hard.” He raised his eyebrows. “You want to mess around now?”
“We’re brothers, Colin,” I answered.
Colin smiled. “Which means we could have been messing around all along. Lots of brothers do it.”
“Oh?” I asked.
“You know about Austin and Ryan. I know about a couple of other brothers who have.”
Then I felt Colin’s hand on my hip.
Well after telling him about Rachael, I was hard, too, and would at least need to jerk off. “What did you have in mind?” I asked. “What did you do with Austin?”
Colin flexed his hand, squeezing my hipbone. “He sucked me,” he said. “And then he let me cornhole him.”
“Well if you want any of that from me, we take turns.”
Colin grinned. “I’ll let you cornhole me, if you let me cornhole you.” He moved his hand from my belly to my cock, and that sealed the deal. I groaned and closed my eyes.
“You’ve got a great butt, Sean.” Colin said as he let go of my cock and ran a hand over my hip. “You know the cheerleaders voted you best ass.”
I laughed. I hadn’t heard that one.
“No kidding,” Colin insisted, and then in a quieter voice, “I always thought you had a great butt. I’d watch you when you were naked and then I’d try to look at my butt in the mirror to see if it looked like yours at all.”
I laughed, and put my hand on his hip. “I don’t know about mine, but you’ve got a great ass, Colin. Take my word for it,” I said, giving his hip a squeeze. “And a good cock,” I added, reaching for his and lifting it in my hand. “Guess we got ’em from Dad. I’ve always like watching your cock swinging when you walk around naked.”
“Same here,” he said quietly, giving a quick squeeze to my cock. “You ever like… put your hands behind your head and swing your hips around when you’re naked, so you’re your cock whaps?” Then he pushed down the covers and got up on his knees and did it. “Like this?”
“Yeah, sure,” I chuckled. “But it has to be thick, like when it starts to get hard.”
“Like I am now,” he said, nodding. Then he smiled and hunkered down like a turtle. “Wanna do it?”
Soft light from the window, gave his body a faint luminescence. The one place Colin had any body fat was his butt. It was slightly fleshy; a bit of a bubble butt. I sat up and ran my hand over his bent back and down his butt.
“Have you done this before?” I asked in a whisper.
“Yeah,” he said. “Go for it.”
Now you don’t normally think of doing that sort of thing with your brother. But Colin was a damn hot kid. And I was hot, as in really hard.
“Hold on,” I said, and retrieved the tub of lotion from where I kept it behind books in my headboard to use sometimes when jerking off. I lubed up Colin’s butt and my cock.
“You’re going to have to lift your butt ,” I whispered.
He did, keeping his head down, butt high. With knees on either side of his legs, I moved forward, placed my cock at his hole, and for a brief moment, looked over the long graceful lines and pale skin of my younger brother. I almost stopped, but only almost. My crown was in his crack, and a new sensation came on me, one of an almost brotherly camaraderie.
Grabbing his hips, I pushed forward and felt his tightness and warmth slide over me.
When he was done, Colin rolled off me. He patted my butt, and quietly left for his bed.
His breathing didn’t grow regular for some time and I had trouble falling asleep myself. That night, I dreamed of the doctor again. He was back with more blinding drops and wanted to put them in Colin’s eyes. I woke up in a sweat.
I looked over at Colin’s bed, where he slept quietly, and wondered again about the impact of what I’d done.
I dreamed again, and saw the lady from the beach again, the one at the hamburger stand. She looked at me with loathing and disgust. This time though, she turned from me to look on Colin with that same evil face. I turned to Colin and saw Stefan walk up behind him. Stefan squeezed Colin’s shoulders and smiled triumphantly at me.
I woke again, and lay thinking. I wondered if the dreams rose from my own demons; my own struggles with my love of Daniel, and my struggle against being gay. I thought of how much I had always loved my brother. And I thought of my Dad, and how he would feel with two gay sons. Not gay, I told myself, bi. Two bi sons. Would Dad need to know if we were just bi, not gay?
Suddenly I felt weary inside; very weary, and sad. And I felt afraid. Was I ever like the evil doctor of my dreams? And how many ladies like the one in my dream are waiting for me? For Colin? And then I shuddered as I wondered against my will what my face would look like if that evil doctor was suddenly standing here, in the flesh before me. Would my face have the same expression as that lady?
I was tired, and I was afraid of many things. I was afraid of my future.
Colin rolled over in his sleep. I was afraid for Colin’s future, too. I wanted to protect my brother. A shudder stole over me. I pulled the covers up around my neck.
I never prayed. But that night, I watched my brother’s slow breathing and I prayed for him. Then I prayed for my Dad. Then I prayed for me.
It was all I knew to do.
I didn’t see Colin much the next day, or that weekend. And after screwing with Rachael on Friday night, and camping Saturday night with Daniel, I almost forgot about what Colin and I had done. He might have been quieter than usual, but by Monday, we were pretty well back to normal.
By Thursday, I was feeling horny again. They say time cures all ills and in those few days, I forgot my concerns about being a proper “big brother.” I especially forgot them as Colin’s brief encased butt passed by my desk when he went into and out of the bathroom. They were old, loose briefs. His cock moved in them as he walked.
I sprung wood and it didn’t help when Colin pulled off his briefs and climbed into bed. I got up to turn off the light, trying to hide my erection. My plan was to jerk off in bed. But Colin glanced at me as I walked by. And when I turned off the light, I heard him clear his throat. “You going to jerk off?” he asked quietly.
Stopping, I looked down at him in the dim light from the window. “Yeah.”
Without a word, Colin threw the covers back off his slender, naked body and looked up at me expectantly. His cock was already thickening. Colin was horny too.
I tossed my underwear in the direction of my bed and climbed in beside him. His body was warm and smooth alongside my own. His hand found me and cupped my balls. I laid my hand on his shoulder and was about to ask what he wanted to do when I noticed his eyes. Colin had never looked at me like that before.
“Know what else Austin told me?” he asked hoarsely.
I shook my head.
“He said you taught him and Ryan how to kiss.”
I knew what was coming, but didn’t fight it. His hand had closed over my cock and I didn’t want to stop anything. Colin pressed his lips to mine, and I pulled his shoulder tighter and our mouths pressed together.
At the same time his tongue entered my mouth, Colin pushed me on my back and moved his body over mine. I opened my legs and he settled between them. Our kiss deepened and we ground our cocks together.
There’s a phrase, “like kissing your sister,” which means, no fun. Well there’s a good reason for the phrase not being, “like kissing your brother.” When we finally broke for air, he pressed his cheek to mine, kept his arms around me, and kept right on grinding.
“Hey, Sean,” Colin said quietly.
“Yeah?”
“You know how Austin told me that you messed with guys…”
“Yeah,” I answered, thinking, the little creep.
Colin continued, “And you know what we did last week, you and me — that was hot, Sean. I mean hot.” He pressed his cock hard against me. “Anyway…” my normally bold little brother continued in a most tentative manner. “You obviously know a lot of stuff. Right?”
“What stuff?”
“You know. Messing around stuff.”
I was quiet.
Colin continued, “So what feels the best to do?”
“This feels damn good,” I said. “Besides, you don’t seem to be much of a beginner to me.”
“Guess I’m a natural,” he said with a faint chuckle. “I mean, I cornholed Mitch Bensten; everybody cornholed him. We think he’s… that way.” Colin’s grinding grew shallower for a few thrusts. Then he picked up again.
“Mostly,” he said, “what you and I did was only my second time.”
“Yeah, right,” I laughed.
“No really,” Colin insisted, rolling off me, and grabbing onto my cock. “James and I use to mess around some, but just hand jobs. His dad has some Playboys and Hustlers hidden in his workshop. We use to look at those and jerk each other off. We tried sucking each other’s cocks once, but that’s it. At least until the campout with Austin.”
“But,” I protested, taking hold of Colin’s cock in turn. “Austin told me he’d heard about you doing stuff with other guys in scouts.”
“I don’t know what he heard,” Colin said, “but until he started wiggling his ass against my cock on the campout, I’d only been in on a couple of circle jerks.”
“So what happened on the campout?” I asked.
Colin stroked me for a while before answering. “Well, we took the two man tents this time. Austin kept after me to share a tent with him since James wasn’t along. I figured it was no big deal. Anyway, it was cold. Austin said he didn’t have enough cover and asked if we could zip our sleeping bags together. Well mine doesn’t zip like that. So next he asked if he could crawl in with me. He really sounded like he was freezing, so I let him.”
“I unzipped my bag and rolled on my side to hold it open for him to crawl in. He crawled in alright, and backed his butt smack up against my crotch. Then he wiggled his butt against me as he worked the zipper closed on the sleeping bag. We were both in our underwear so there wasn’t much between my cock and his butt. What can I say? I sprouted wood.”
“So then what happened,” I asked, my mouth growing dry.
“Well Austin just reaches back and grabs my cock through my underwear and says, ‘You’re the same size as your brother.’ All I could say was, ‘WHAT?’ That’s when Austin told me all about your beach trip.”
“Little asshole,” I said.
“Not when I got done with him,” Colin laughed too loudly. I shushed him. Then Colin asked. “So what do you guys do? You and Daniel?”
What the hell was I to say in answer to that? Everything you can imagine, but with more passion than you could dream of? Not hardly. I shrugged.
“Sorta like you and I did last week?” Colin asked tentatively.
“Well yeah,” I said. Then found myself wanting to tell Colin more. I wanted to tell somebody how incredible Daniel was. I wanted to tell someone about our times together. But there was no way I could tell him about that. “Well, I said. Sometimes we do like you and I were doing, you know, rubbing together. And sometimes we sixty-nine.”
His eyes shot up and he paused for only a moment, before stroking me faster.
“Well?” I asked. “Austin sucked you off, right? And you cornholed him?”
Colin moved closer to me. “About the hottest thing I did with Austin,” he said, “Was… don’t laugh, but one of the first things he did was ask if he could practice kissing with me. It took him a while to talk me into it, but once we got going, it was like one hell of a long kiss. And I don’t mean just pressing lips together. I’ve never been kissed like that. He locked onto my mouth and stayed stuck. We sorta hugged and rubbed together like you and I just did. And it was hot. I mean the kiss… it was like my mouth was wired to my cock and everything in between.”
Colin paused a moment, remembering, then continued, “And as for kissing you, well, I always wondered what it’d be like to kiss your mouth.” Colin pulled my body to his. “Guess that sounds queer doesn’t it?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “Course all of my other kissing practice has been with Susan.”
“If you’ve been kissing girls,” I said, “like you kissed me tonight, it’s a wonder you haven’t gotten laid yet.”
“Well, to be honest, Susan’s a lousy kisser. She sure as hell doesn’t kiss like Austin did. I’d never been kissed like that; that is until tonight.” We were on our sides now, our bodies pressed together and our arms around each other. Colin put his lips to my ear. “When you kissed me, well damn, Sean, it was the hottest thing-I guess maybe because we’re brothers-but mainly, you kiss even hotter than Austin.” Colin took a deep breath. “Can you teach me to kiss like that… big bro?” he asked quietly.
I rolled him onto his back and moved onto him. His eyes held mine as I looked down at him, and unspoken yes’s and no’s passed between them. But then I ground my hardness on his and his lips parted, his eyes closed. I kissed him.
The kiss lasted a long time as we embraced and I pumped my hips, grinding on him.
“Damn,” Colin panted. “I’ve got to practice that.”
His eyes sparkled up at me. “I don’t know what your answer to my question about what feels best would be,” he said, “but this could be my favorite thing to do.” He thought a moment, “But not with most guys.”
Smiling down at him, I said, “I like this a lot too. But not with most guys.”
He grinned, and pulled my face down to his. He spread his legs under me, pumping up with his hips. I pumped back, and he grabbed my butt, holding me tightly.
“Yeah, I like this a lot,” I said. “I could come this way, easy. But I also like fucking, uh, cornholing. That feels really good to me.”
Colin looked away. “Don’t think I’m queer or weird or anything,” he said, “but I’ve wondered, you know, about, like, doing a sixty-nine.”
If he was asking, I was willing enough, but what we were doing felt so good, I wasn’t in a hurry to offer.
“I could cum this way easy, too,” he said with a thick voice. “It feels real good with you laying on me like this. But can we try a sixty-nine, like you’ve done with Daniel?”
“You shower lately?” I asked with a smile.
“Yeah, after basketball,” he said, puzzled, then grinned as he realized why I asked.. Then the grin faded. “You’re sure this isn’t like queer or anything, right?”
I gave him a squeeze. “Quit worrying about being queer,” I reassured him, feeling like a super hypocrite. “We’re just horny teenagers. Like Daniel’s dad said — most guys our age experiment together.”
“Especially brothers,” Colin said, quickly agreeing.
“We don’t have to, you know,” I told him.
“Nah,” he said, squeezing my butt. “Let’s do it.”
Rolling off him, I pulled Colin up onto his side. “Just do what I do,” I told him. “And don’t let your teeth scratch me.” Patting his hip, I reversed position and buried my face in his crotch. I didn’t mean to make a big show of it, but caught myself taking a deep breath when I caught his scent. Damn, he smelled good!
Colin did the same to me. “Wow,” he said softly. “Your smell — I think I just got harder.”
Colin’s scrotum was soft and loose. His ballsack hung spread out over his outstretched lower leg and I licked it. Then I sucked in first one ball, and then the other. I licked down behind his scrotum, lapping up the taste that smelled so good.
Our sucking lasted past our orgasms and on until we were both drained and softening. Colin stroked the side of my butt while he rolled my cock around on his tongue. I swallowed the last of his cum, released his cock, patted his butt, and gave his balls a final nuzzle.
The after-sex feeling this time was very different than the first. We were relaxed, content, almost casual, and I knew I’d want to do it again. So I asked. “Can I come visit again sometime?”
“Any time bro. Mi cama, es tu cama. Any time.”
I hadn’t told Daniel about Colin after the first time. I didn’t intend to after the second. But on Saturday, I knew Daniel had something on his mind from the way he was acting. He was subdued and lacked his usual cool.
We hadn’t ridden far on our bikes when I finally had to ask. “Daniel, what’s up? You’re acting different.”
He smiled, ruefully. “I guess you’re getting to know me pretty good.” Then his smile faded and he turned his eyes to the road. “There’s something I think I ought to tell you.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, don’t be pissed, OK? But, well, Austin’s been over a couple of times lately, just after school and well, we screwed around yesterday.”
“Just yesterday?” I asked.
He cleared his throat. “Well, and last week.”
Daniel watched me and when I didn’t say anything, he shifted, nervously. “Well? You going to say anything?”
“Ummm. I sorta have something to tell you, too.”
“Nooo,” he said, frowning. “Who?”
“Colin.”
“Oh, shit. Your brother, Colin?” he asked, incredulously, forgetting to pedal.
I slowed to stay beside him. “Well, yeah. Lots of brothers mess around. Look at your cousins.”
“Sean,” he said, quietly, “your brother is… well, hot!”
Now I frowned. “You mad?” he asked. “Cause I think you brother’s hot?”
“Well, sorta. Are you mad?”
“Maybe jealous.” Then he smiled. “Of you both.”
“Well forget that,” I cautioned. “I’m not going to compete against my own brother for you.”
He laughed. “You? You don’t have to worry. You blew away the competition the first time I saw you naked.”
“Oh, so you just like me for my body?” I asked with a mock pout.
He looked me over. “Yep.” Then he reached over to pat my butt. “Can I have some?”
We didn’t say much to each other after that, about Colin or Austin. It was just understood we might mess around with them on the side. But I knew he wouldn’t like me messing with just anybody. And I didn’t want him to. He was my lover. And my friend. My… companion.
Daniel and I became serious about our bicycling. I decided that weight training could wait until after Christmas break and we started riding after school. We soon averaged twenty to thirty miles a day and longer on weekends. We made our first century (hundred mile) ride in mid-December.
Our riding became so serious that our opportunities for “little stops” diminished. We pushed ourselves and the hard riding diminished our libido while we were on the road. Though riding gave us hours together, the way we pushed ourselves made it hard to even talk at times, much less get horny. Daniel was a good coach and a hard trainer. We improved dramatically.
My bottom never seemed to catch up. It was always sore. I felt like I was beginning to walk bow-legged. It was noticeable enough for my family to laugh at.
Dad felt sorry for me and gave me a tube of heat balm. Though it smelled faintly the same as the balm the coaches used at high school, it wasn’t. The balm at school was strong stuff. It looked like Vaseline and burned like hell. The tube Dad gave me contained white cream. It smelled strong, but I figured it for a mild, home version of the school stuff.
Since Colin and I had been visiting each other’s bed on occasion, it seemed natural to ask him to apply ointment to my butt. He was willing and I think actually felt sorry for me.
I had just ridden hard for the fourth day in a row. It was late, and I still had homework, but my bottom was sore and my muscles were sore. I begged Colin, who was lounging in just shorts while he studied, to apply ointment to my sore bottom and maybe rub some of Dad’s heat balm onto my sore legs.
Having just showered, I was naked and trying to decide whether I could handle wearing briefs. When Colin agreed to give me a hand, I just collapsed, bare-assed and face down onto my bed. As Colin worked me over his hands became gentler, the rubbing became caressing. “You know, Sean,” he said as he smoothed the ointment onto my bottom, “you probably need a deep internal massage too.”
“Mmm,” I murmured, not really paying attention. That is, until I noticed Colin remove his shorts and caught a glimpse of a wagging erect cock as he moved behind me. He lay down on me, and rubbed his cock up and down my crack. I wasn’t exactly in the mood.
“Please, Colin,” I pleaded. “Just put on the heat balm.”
He grunted and got up. The pungent smell of the heat balm filled the room as Colin opened the tube and began applying it into my sore legs.
“That feels so good, Colin; when you’re done, feel free to screw my butt all you want.” I chuckled to myself, thinking there was no way Colin would want to ride me now that I was covered in the hot stuff. But I had not reckoned on the power of hormones.
“Cool,” he answered. “Sounds good to me.”
“Yeah, whatever,” I mumbled into my pillow and relaxed under his hands. The warmth seeped into my legs. Then Colin rubbed balm up onto my back muscles. I was grateful, both for the extra effort and because I was sure now that he wouldn’t care about butt fucking.
He finished massaging in the last of the balm at the top of my thighs. Then he asked, “Are you ready?”
My eyes flew open. He couldn’t really want to…
Grabbing my ankles, Colin swung me sideways so that my knees dropped to the floor and my butt hung over the side of the bed. And then he stepped between my knees and spread my legs with his feet. My sore ass was open and in position.
“Stay just like that while I go wash my hands,” he instructed.
I groaned. And then I noticed my body was beginning to feel really warm. Sweat broke across my brow.
In seconds, Colin was back. Kneeling between my legs, he lubed me. The cool KY felt good in my crack. “Oh, what the hell,” I thought. It might even feel good. I relaxed and spread my legs farther.
Colin giggled. “Sean, you figured I wouldn’t want to bang your butt with heat-balm on didn’t you? Well, ha! There’s no heat balm inside..”
Colin had lubed his cock and entered me before we both realized that he hadn’t washed the heat balm completely off his hands. Our connection heated up, and I don’t mean sexually.
I stifled a cry. He whimpered.
“What the hell are you trying to do?” I hissed. “You got heat balm on your dick, you fuck up!” I stuffed my pillow in my mouth. “Eeeeyowww!” Though inside, I was OK, my sphincter was on fire.
“You think I don’t know,” he said through gritted teeth. “I think I’ve gotten it on my balls too!”
“Wanna stop?”
“Hell, ooooh shit…no!” he hissed back. Pumping faster, he whimpered, “We’ll just… aaah… go faster.”
I chewed the pillow and groaned, “Asshole.”
Colin grunted. “Yeah… nice one.”
His pumping became desperate. Without thinking, he put his hands onto my back, realized I was covered in balm and pulled them off. He pumped a couple more times and then, again without thinking, he put his hands onto his own butt to keep them off me as he pumped.
He pumped hard and fast. “Oh, damn,” he hissed. “Now my ass is hot too.”
“There’s no way it can be as hot as MY ASS, you shit,” I complained.
“That’s no way to talk to your brother,” Colin said absently as he tried to concentrate on the feelings that would get him an orgasm.
My whole body was on fire. Putting that much balm all over my legs and back had been really, really dumb. If the inside of my butt hadn’t been on fire too, I don’t think I would have even noticed Colin’s fat, thick shaft up my butt. All I could think of was how soon I wanted him to get it over with.
Colin’s frantic pumping had now gotten balm off the back of my legs onto the front and sides of his own. I muffled a cry. Then he did. We began a chorus of stifled moans and groans. My Mom, who never comes into our room without knocking and waiting for an invitation (in case we aren’t “decent”), banged on the door and called out, “You boys quit wrestling and horsing around and get your homework done.” I was glad I had locked the door. I just hoped she wouldn’t send my Dad.
“OK, Mom,” Collin called out in a strained voice.
By the time his cum finally poured into me, we had been stifling our cries for what seemed like hours, though I know it was only minutes. Colin pulled out before he had even finished, splashing the last of his cum onto my butt; which was the only way he beat me to the shower. It didn’t matter. I climbed in with him anyway.
“Don’t ever ask me to do that heat balm stuff again,” Colin warned as he pushed me from under the water.
“I never said to apply it that way,” I said, shoving back.
He laughed. “How about trying that with your buddy Daniel?”
“Nope,” I said. “The only time I’ll do that again is to return the favor.”
“Yeah, well, if I’m ever afraid of turning queer,” he said. “I know how to cure it.
Though I never returned the favor, I was able to talk Colin into “ointmenting” me a few more times before I began sleeping over at Daniel’s on Friday nights.
Our rides were getting longer on Saturdays. We told our parents that if I slept over at Daniel’s, we could always get an early start. Of course.