The guys stayed around to help me clean up our gear, which took the rest of the afternoon. I was so tired, I stumbled through the washing, sweeping, oiling, and putting away. Stefan barely said “good bye” when he left. Daniel shook my hand and held it when he said “good bye”.
It was early when he called that night, but I was tired, and already about to hit the sack. My brother, Colin, and the rest of the family were out in the den.
“Thank you again for this week,” he said.
“I can’t believe you’re thanking me,” I answered. “I had fun, too. Well, more than fun.”
“It almost seems like a dream now. I had to call to make sure it wasn’t.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and find out it was.”
“It was no dream,” I assured him. “I never got this sore, or tired, in a dream.”
He chuckled, but then grew quiet. “I never felt like this in a dream.”
I was tired. And in a way, I almost wished it had been a dream. I wished that I could wake up tomorrow, straight, and realize that I’d only dreamed about Daniel. Being home was real. Having my life back was real. But then, so was Daniel.
“Sean?” he asked. “Are you OK?”
“No,” I answered quietly.
“I’m sorry.”
Suddenly, I could see him in my mind’s eye. I could remember the smell of his hair, and the feel of his skin. I cradled the phone in both hands and lowered my voice. “You’re turning my world upside down, Daniel. Just give me a little time to sort through things, OK?” I wished that I was sitting beside him. “I miss you.” I said, softly.
Sunday, after church, I dozed through the games on TV. As I drifted into and out of sleep, thoughts about Daniel became dreams about Daniel. I called him on the phone that night. He had questions about football. Workouts were to begin the next day. We didn’t talk about the things we’d done at the beach, but still, I grew hard talking to him, especially whenever his boyish voice broke when he laughed.
That night, I snuck a sock into bed with me, and jerked off into it, trying to be quiet so Colin wouldn’t hear. I thought about Daniel and imagined him in my arms. When I was finished, and calming down from my climax, I resolved to quit thinking so much about him, before I turned myself homosexual for sure.
Monday was the first day of two weeks of two workouts a day. The first was early in the morning, before the South Texas sun rose too high. The second was late in the afternoon, when the sea breeze was up. During the middle of the day, the coach wanted us to rest.
That first morning in the showers, guys noticed Stef’s and my tanned/burned butts. (Aaron’s just looked darker.) And they teased us for it. Stef got a kick out of it, and smiled at me as his ‘tanned butt’ buddy. Things began to thaw between us.
Daniel and I spoke on the phone that night. He wanted to know how workouts went. I wanted to know what he did that day.
I didn’t see him the next day either. And that night, he told me that his mom had decided to take him with her to stay with her brother’s family at the beach for a few days before school started back up. “I’ll miss you,” he promised.
“Just don’t forget me,” I warned.
“No,” he said with a light laugh. “I don’t think I’ll ever do that.”
Meanwhile, things started getting back to normal with Stef and me. And better than normal with Aaron, who decided that he and I were best buds. Oh, we’d always been friendly, but now he gave me rides to practice and wanted to spend our afternoons between workouts together. Since we lived so close together, it made sense.
At night, Aaron saw his girlfriend, Barbara. I hadn’t picked up my “Fall’ girlfriend yet, but had started to consider candidates. I wasn’t really interested in a girlfriend at the moment and that was part of the problem. I thought that I should be.
About the fourth morning workout, Aaron and I were off to one side together, watching some drills. “I got Barbara to suck my cock last night,” he confided.
“Cool. Did she like it?”
“Hell, it took forever just to get her to put her mouth on it. She kept fussing about ‘smell’ and ‘mess’ and ‘that big thing’… I think she liked it. But, shit, I didn’t. She just put her mouth on it at first. Then I got her to suck, but she never got it right, and she wouldn’t swallow my cum. She just jerked me off.”
Leaning closer, Aaron said, “No one can suck cock like you do, Sean.”
“Oh shit, thanks,” I replied in mock gratitude. “Like you’re an expert with only Barbara and me to compare.”
“And,” he started to say.
“Stefan?” I asked
“Yep.”
“I wondered about that.”
“No shit,” he continued, “You suck better than Stefan and you taste better too, and… you have a bigger cock. Shit, Sean, don’t you ever tell anybody, but I liked it… you know… the sixty-nine thing.” He leaned close. “Come over to my house after practice.”
I looked him over to check his sincerity. He sounded sincere. He looked it too.
“Not worried about turning queer?” I chided.
“Naw. I’m fucking Barbara,” he said matter-of-factly, but I wondered how true that was. “Besides, you’re smooth as a girl,” he elbowed me.
“Fuck you. Come to think of it, I have.” I elbowed back.
“Yeah, like you’re the virgin ass.” He shot back. “So, are you comin’ to my house after practice or not? My mom’s taking my brothers and sisters to the mall today, buying school clothes.”
With Daniel at the beach, I had banished deep thinking from my mind. And I wasn’t about to re-introduce it. I was horny. Aaron was horny. It was just messing around. “Yeah, sounds good, but Aaron…”
“Yeah?”
“Clean it good when we shower up after practice.”
He laughed and swatted my butt.
No one else was at Aaron’s house, just as Aaron had promised. I led the way back to his bedroom. As we got there, he let out a loud whoop from behind me. I turned just in time to take a shoulder to the gut as Aaron tackled me, lifting me up onto his bed.
Almost before my back hit the bedspread, he was on top of me, laughing, straddling my hips and pushing my shirt up. “You crazy asshole,” I shouted, “are you horny or what? Hey, don’t tear the shirt.”
That was the wrong thing to say to Aaron. My shirt was an old, black T-shirt, complete with holes. He laughed, and to my surprise, grabbed one of the holes and ripped the shirt open, exposing my belly and chest. His eyes widened and he grinned lopsidedly. “I’m gonna rip your clothes off.”
“Like hell you are,” I said, clutching at the remnants of my shirt.
With a grin, Aaron pulled more shreds from my shirt and didn’t stop until I had only a little shirt left around the collar. “You fuck up!” I said accusingly, “Just what am I going to wear back to workout?”
Aaron looked down at my bare belly and chest with a shit-eating grin and grabbed the waistband of my shorts. “Oh hell,” I pleaded, “Don’t tear those. I’m not going to leave your house naked.”
He yanked my shorts down. My hard cock sprang up, waving, announcing to Aaron “Sean’s enjoying this!” Aaron laughed while tugging my shorts down. I held my legs tightly together. He pulled off my sandals, but couldn’t get the shorts past my crossed ankles. He grabbed my balls. I gasped, my legs spread, and he got my shorts off.
So there I lay, on my back, cock hard and flat against my stomach, wearing only a black t-shirt collar. Aaron stood beside the bed looking at me with a satisfied smile. He rubbed his crotch, looking me over, and then grasped the bottom of his shirt. The muscles of his chest and belly worked under his skin as he raised his arms overhead to take the shirt off. Next, he dropped his pants, and his large, uncut cock pumped up in front of me. As he stepped from his pants and shoes, Aaron stroked. He looked hungrily down on me as he walked to the head of the bed.
In one leap, he jumped up over me and I found his cock and balls hanging in my face. Before I could react, I felt his hands at my crotch. Grabbing his ass, I pulled him down and couldn’t help but notice that Aaron smelled good. He had showered well.
Afterward, as we lay side by side, I looked over Aaron’s wall posters. Aaron’s dad was a Budweiser distributor, and over the last year or two, had let Aaron put up advertising posters on his walls and ceiling. Every poster had at least one bottle of beer, and at least one almost-naked chick with big boobs.
“She’s new,” Aaron said, pointing to a busty blond in a blue bikini. Her poster was on the ceiling, inviting us up for a screw and a beer.
“I jacked off this morning, thinking about puttin’ it to her,” he said.
“It’s no wonder you’re horny all the time,” I commented, looking around the room. “And so you decided to take it out on me. You owe me a t-shirt,” I said.
He laughed and promised one, as he laid his large hand on my hipbone and rubbed in a friendly way. “You and me need to do a girl together, Sean,” he said and turned on his pillow to look at me. “It’d be cool; two big cocks like ours.”
“What? You need help?” I asked with a grin.
“Fuck you!” Aaron said with a frown and looked back up at the blond. He squeezed my hip. “My cousin and his buddy have fucked a couple of girls together. They like it.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, sometime,” I said, yawning. I closed my eyes and we dozed off. He left his hand on my hip.
I got a strange look from Stefan that afternoon, when I showed up for practice in one of Aaron’s shirts. (I think Stefan recognized it from the beach.) My mom accepted my explanation that my shirt tore when I was wrestling around with Aaron after practice. “I would have thrown that old thing away a long time ago if you had let me,” she said.
Aaron and I met again after morning practice on Tuesday. Aaron was always cool. We got our rocks off, and then hung together. No big emotional thing at all. He was just a great fuck/suck buddy.
The magazine arrived with the morning mail on Wednesday. The cover of Newsweek showed a handsome guy in his early thirties, briefcase in hand, walking toward the camera on a crowded street in New York. “Today’s Gay,” said the print to one side. And beneath, “He spends forty dollars on haircuts, has his teeth cleaned every two months, is a popular professional, and he is openly homosexual.” I waited until no one was around before reading the article.
Daniel called that night; he and his mom had returned home. The beach had seemed so long ago. But now his voice brought it all back. I found myself cradling the phone and fighting an erection. But we didn’t talk about the things we had done together. Nor did I mention the magazine article. I was still trying to work through my own feelings. I wasn’t ready to discuss them with Daniel.
But, as he talked, the feelings I had for him came bubbling up. I never came right out and told him how much I liked him; neither did he. But how we felt was in every word we said. It was in the warmth of his voice, his pauses, and his inflection. I wanted, no needed, to see him.
The Sunday afternoon before school was to start for the fall, Daniel surprised me by turning up at the front door of my house. “I thought you were going dove hunting with your dad and uncle,” I said, holding the door open for him to come inside.
Daniel smiled and looked me over. I was wearing only gym shorts and a sleeveless, tight T-shirt. He brushed past as he stepped in, and waved hello to my folks who were sitting in the den. “Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “Uncle James decided to take his family to the beach and one of Dad’s patients has some kind of crisis.”
He tilted his head. “I’ve got two twelve gauge shotguns in the jeep, with lots of shells and a place we can hunt. Can you go?”
“Hell yes!” I said, enthusiastically. Then paused. “Better ask my folks.”
Daniel followed me into our den. My dad stood up from his recliner. He was a tall man with big hands and a warm smile. While he shook Daniel’s hand, my fourteen year-old brother, Colin, stood up too. Colin was already as tall as me and would grow taller. He had a slender frame, and his coloring was like my mom’s; deep red hair and creamy skin. His features were pleasant and honest. He had a smile like my dad’s and, like dad, was really smart.
Mom remained in her chair. I was proud of my mom. She was beautiful and took good care to stay that way. She was smart, too, but in a sharper way — like the archetypical redhead, she could be fiery. My nine year-old sister, Laurie, took after my mom in a number of ways. Laurie was off at her friend’s house.
“You’ll need to get a hunting license,” Dad pointed out. “Do you need any money?”
I smiled. Dad always talked about us needing to learn to work and earn money, but he was a pushover whenever we wanted to do something with our friends. He gave me a twenty.
Mom shook her head at Dad’s predictability. “Will you be home late?” she asked me.
I glanced at Daniel. “We’ll probably be back after dark,” I said, speculatively.
“You think it’ll take you that long to get your limit?” Daniel asked with a grin.
Dad chuckled. “You better change clothes,” he said.
I nodded and motioned with my head for Daniel to follow me back to my room. Dad sat back down to watch the game on TV.
As I pulled off my shirt, Daniel sat on my bed to watch, so I took my time. But then Colin came in and sat down on his bed.
Colin wanted to go. I knew him and I could tell. I felt guilty not asking him, but I really wanted to be alone with Daniel.
As we walked to his jeep, Daniel nudged me. “Your brother is almost better looking than you. I bet he drives the girls crazy.”
I gave Daniel a sideways glance as I felt a pang of jealousy. I wasn’t sure I liked Daniel looking at other guys, especially my brother. “Colin’s hot and he knows it,” I said. “I just wish I was better looking than him.”
Daniel smiled gently. “Well, if you don’t realize it, that’s fine with me. I don’t want you thinking you’re too good for me.”
While he walked around to the driver’s side, I opened the passenger door and sorted through some feelings. Even though Colin was my brother, I knew he was cute. Was Daniel just trying to be nice, saying what he did about me? I wanted him to like how I looked.
We bought sodas and ice when we stopped to get the hunting license, and filled up a small ice chest. It was a hot day and would probably hit a hundred degrees. We both wore skin-tight tank tops and ball-caps. While my hair sorta fanned out from under my ball-cap, Daniel’s longer, blond hair hung down thickly over his neck and ears. He looked damn cool in a black cap.
Daniel drove us west of town to some open grain fields where his dad had permission to hunt. The problem was, the farmer had given permission to lots of people.
Back then, the annual white wing dove hunt was a big deal. Hunters came from all over Texas, and even from other states, for the two consecutive weekends. I’d only been a couple of times because Dad wasn’t really into it, but it had been fun each time.
Daniel drove onto a dirt road that followed along the edge of a field. Hunters lined both sides. We parked when we found almost a hundred yards of open road between hunting parties. Where we stopped, the road ran along the edge of some woods. In the late afternoon, dove would be coming from the grain fields into the woods to roost. It was a good spot.
“Oh, damn!” I gasped appreciatively when he pulled the first gun from its case. Daniel smiled and handed it to me, holding it properly, by the stock. The gun was elegantly engraved, had excellent scrollwork, and was beautifully maintained. Then he pulled out the second gun. Both shotguns were over-and-under, double-barreled, and fine guns. I lifted mine and sighted toward a tree. “I’m in love,” I said.
He grinned and handed me a box of shells and a campstool. We sat down in the shade of some trees, about ten yards apart; close enough to talk, but far enough away to each have our own clear shots at the birds.
It was going to be hard watching for birds, though. It was more fun watching Daniel. He grinned back. “What are you doing next weekend?” he asked.
“You mean other than Friday night’s game?” I asked, resting the shotgun in my lap.
He rested the butt of the shotgun on his leg. “Yeah, like Saturday and Sunday,” he said.
“What do you have in mind?”
“Well you know my Uncle James has a beach house, right? The one Mom and I just stayed at?”
I nodded. Daniel and Stef were cousins because their dads were brothers. But Daniel had an Uncle James, on his mother’s side, who was really cool. James had three boys, Austin (14), Ryan (13), and Jeremy (9). All three were on the small side and Austin and Ryan were late hitting puberty. They looked younger than their age. I had gotten to know Austin a couple of years earlier when I was in scouts and he was a newbie. He was a cute kid, but mischievous; into anything and everything, especially things he shouldn’t be.
There was something else I remembered about Uncle James. “He’s got a pontoon/party boat, too,” I said, smiling. He had a Sunchaser, which was a long, roomy, flat-decked boat; really more of a floating platform than anything else. A railing ran around the perimeter of the deck, and inside the railing were padded seats. Toward the stern was a pilot console (seat, wheel, and throttle), amidships, and a large canopy that could be opened over the deck for shade. It also had a small deck galley and bait wells at the very stern.
It was the only boat like it at the beach because pontoon boats weren’t practical there. The pontoons were susceptible to rust, the profile of the boat was high for the wind and weather, and the draught was slightly deep for some of the shallow (and best fishing) areas of the bay.
But to me, it was a dream. I was interested in biology and especially marine life. I had always wanted a houseboat, or a big raft I could just camp on which had plenty of room to fish, snorkel, and examine bay creatures.
Daniel grinned. He knew of my interests from our phone conversations. “Austin and Ryan both have games next Saturday,” he said, his grin growing wider. “And Uncle James isn’t taking them down to the beach house until Saturday night. He told me that you and I can use the boat Saturday, sleep on it Saturday night if we want, and return it to him Sunday early enough for them to use it before they have to head back home. Wanna go?”
“First thing Saturday morning? Come back Sunday afternoon?” I asked, hopefully.
He nodded.
“Oh, hell yes.”
Daniel smiled, satisfied. And then shooting began farther down the road.
We looked out toward the field, two dove were flying low, coming abreast of us. Daniel raised his gun, and I followed. The birds turned our way and just as I was about to shoot, Daniel dropped the first, and then the second. The first bird fell almost at his feet; the second glided down and fell in the brush behind him.
I retrieved the second and handed it to him. “You going to let me shoot any birds?” I asked with a rueful smile.
“Next one’s yours,” he said, taking the bird. “You know how to aim your gun?” he asked with a wink.
I shot him the finger, playfully of course, and returned to my chair just as another bird headed our way. It came at us, flying low over the tops of grain. I raised my gun and sighted. When it was only about fifteen yards away, I shot. The bird dodged some of the shot, but folded, flying over my head and plunging into the brush behind. I followed after, but had trouble finding it.
Daniel joined me as I looked under bushes and behind trees. In the brush, the air was still, and hot. Besides the smell of mesquite, there were other brush smells, almost thick in the humid air. I finally found the bird at the base of a scrub oak tree and bent to pick it up. When I stood up, Daniel was close beside me.
“That was a good shot,” he said, putting a hand on my back.
His hand felt good and we grew quiet. “Sometimes,” I said, clearing my throat, “I wonder if what happened at the beach really was just a dream.”
Daniel smiled gently and stepped closer, rubbing my back with his hand. I looked around. Trees screened us from the road. Daniel’s face was close.
“Before that night… at the beach,” I said quietly, “I’d never kissed a guy before.”
Daniel slid his arm on around my shoulder. “But you liked it,” he said softly, as his lips came close to mine.
I dropped the bird, slipped my arm around him, and pressed my mouth to his. We stood there, holding a shotgun in one hand and each other in the other, kissing open-mouthed. When we broke for air, Daniel chuckled breathlessly. “Make love, not war.”
Kissing again, we pressed our hardening crotches together. “Damn, you kiss good,” I said, when we paused for another breath.
He pressed his cheek to mine. “I never kissed this good before,” he confessed. “I think it’s who I’m kissing.” He rubbed my back one last time and stepped back. I started to bend over to pick up the bird, but looked again at Daniel. His eyes met mine, and we moved back into each other’s arms.
I pressed my lips to the side of his neck. He brushed his lips over my ear. “I missed you,” he whispered.
There was something about being back in each other’s arms that felt so right, so good. Though we were sweaty, we clung to each other, tightly.
I was thinking of looking for a tree to lean the guns against when we heard the laughter of young, male voices. Dan and I pulled apart and looked around. The sound came from farther into the brush. With a glance at each other, we headed in that direction.
A few yards in, we came upon a large irrigation canal. It had earthen banks and was full of muddy, but cool looking water. The laughter came again, and looking to the right, we saw several Hispanic guys, our age and younger, skinny-dipping. Two crawled out onto the bank and dove back in, cocks dangling.
They hadn’t seen us. I leaned toward Daniel and whispered. “Wanna cool off.”
He smiled and shook his head. “Can’t leave the guns. But the water does look good.”
“Not just the water,” I chuckled softly.
Daniel softly patted my butt. “Next weekend.”
I sighed. That would seem like forever. I nodded and we returned to hunting.
When Stef came by to pick me up for school the next morning (we always rode to school together), I was in the kitchen, finishing breakfast. Like the rest of our house, the kitchen was small. We weren’t very wealthy, but Mom and Dad kept the house nice. Oh, it’d be great someday to have a room of my own, but Colin and I had always shared a room, and I liked that. At least we shared our own john.
Stef sat down at the table beside me and picked up a bacon strip, studied it, and took a bite. I listened as he talked about the pro football games of the day before. I didn’t mention hunting with Daniel.
Normally, the first day at school was sort of exciting. I was a little worried though, about who to hang with; Stef or Daniel. In our first class together, Daniel had saved a seat for me. Fortunately, there was one Stef could take on the other side of me. Stef looked unhappy, especially when Daniel mentioned the dove hunt.
The three of us had the next class together, and I saved seats for each of them. Daniel and I met for lunch, like we’d planned. Stef tagged along since we’d been in the previous class together.
All day long, I felt like I was doing a bit of a juggling act, trying to be with both of them. Of course, once football practice started, Stef and Aaron were the ones I hung out with. And at night, I talked with Daniel.
When Stef picked me up for the second day of school, he seemed quiet. Finally, when we were almost to school, he reached over and patted my thigh. “How about if we go fishing this weekend?” he asked. “I’ll pay for the room.”
I bit my lip as he watched me, expectantly. “Damn, Stef, I’m sorry, but I already have plans.”
“With Daniel?” he asked with a frown.
I nodded. “Yeah. He’s got his uncle’s boat and we’re going to stay out on the bay.”
Stef looked out his window and said nothing. We both knew that if Daniel and I were just friends, I’d ask Stef to go too. But then, Daniel and I weren’t just friends.
When Daniel called Wednesday night, I lay back on my bed with the phone. Colin lay on his bed studying. I thought about asking him to go to the other room, but then he’d wonder why I needed privacy to talk to another guy.
“Can you talk?” Daniel asked.
“Sorta,’ I said.
“We’re still on for this weekend, right?” he asked.
“Hell yes!”
“Well then, I want us to make an agreement.”
“What?” I asked.
“No jackin’ off from now till then.”
I chuckled. “Is that so we… save ourselves?”
“Yep. I plan for us to have a great weekend.”
“You think you can last that long?” I asked, laughing.
Colin looked across at me and raised an eyebrow. I frowned at him.
“Oh, yeah,” Daniel said. “I’ve got big plans for you.”
On Thursday, Stefan asked what I was going to do between school and the game the next day. I told him honestly that I was just going to relax at home and try to rest up. He almost begged me to come over to hang and rest with him at his house. So I agreed.
When we got to Stef’s house after school, his Mom greeted us with cookies and milk. Stefan told her we were going to go to his room and rest, maybe even sleep, before the game. He stressed to her that we needed quiet so that we could get ready to do our best at the game. She promised not to interrupt and to keep his little brother and sister quiet too.
Once in his room Stefan shut the door and, with a serious expression, walked to where I was standing in the middle of the room. “I need to talk to you, Sean,” he said, and indicated for us to sit on the bed. We sat on the edge, facing each other.
“I’m not sure how to say this,” he began. He was obviously nervous and an involuntary shudder passed through his body.
I put my hand on his shoulder, “Steady, Stef. It can’t be that serious. We’re best buds, remember?”
“Best?” he asked absently, then looked up into my eyes. His face was contorted with strain. “Sean, I think I’m queer.”
I almost let out a nervous laugh; Stef and Sean, what a mess. I was glad I didn’t laugh though. Stefan wouldn’t have understood, and he was obviously stressed out.
“You’ve never worried about turning queer before,” I pointed out. “Why are you worrying about it now?”
“Because I’ve never fallen for a guy before,” he answered. “It’s because of the way I feel about you.” He looked steadily into my eyes.
I wasn’t sure how to answer that.
“I wanted to tell you before you take off this weekend with Daniel,” he continued, stepping closer. “I know I was an asshole at the beach-damn it, I was just jealous. I didn’t want to be. I can’t help how I feel about you.” His face was screwed up with an almost pleading sincerity. “I wanted to… no I had to, tell you how I feel.”
I started to open my mouth.
“No, no,” he said, frowning up at me. “Let me finish. I know you and Daniel have something going. Maybe you guys are queer too. Have you thought about that?” he asked.
“Yeah, I have.”
“What do you think?”
“Damn it, Stef. I think you’re my best bud. OK? I think we probably will always be good friends.” I lowered my hand and looked away, “I have… strong feelings… for Daniel, in a different way. It’s like I have a bad crush on him, Stef. But I don’t know if I’m queer. I don’t want to be.”
“But you like sex with guys.”
“I like messing around…”
He cocked his head.
“Yeah,” I admitted. “I like it. But I like girls too.”
“Well you’re going to have to make a decision.”
“Do I?” I asked speculatively, and turned to face him. “I don’t know that I do; at least not right now, if ever. I just read a magazine article that said there are guys who like both guys and girls.”
“Newsweek?”
“Yeah, the new one.”
“Yeah, I read the article, too.”
“Made sure no one was around when you read it?” I smiled.
“Yep. You too?”
I nodded. “Read it twice.”
“Three times.”
“Well, especially after reading the article,” I told Stefan, “I’m not sure I’m queer. I don’t get excited at the idea of having sex with some hairy man. I just like messing around with other guys our age. Anyway, all I really have to decide right now is that you’re my best bud.” I put my hand back on his shoulder. “I am going to stick by you, Stef.”
“And Daniel?” he asked looking into my eyes.
“Like I said, I have strong feelings for Daniel-I don’t have a decision to make there. I sort of can’t help myself. I think about him all the time. In fact,” I added, looking steadily back into Stefan’s eyes, “I hope he and I ‘mess around’ this weekend. I like him, Stef.”
“But you and I are best buds?” Stefan asked skeptically.
“Yes,” I said with certainty in my voice. “Absolutely.”
Now he put his hands on my shoulders; both of them. “I don’t want to settle for that, Sean. You may think about Daniel all the time, but I think about you all the time.” He leaned forward slowly, hesitantly. When his face was close to mine, he stole one final, nervous look into my eyes, then closed his eyes and kissed me. (We had never kissed before.) “I need you, Sean,” he whispered.
He kissed me again, longer. I didn’t respond.
He sat back and sighed. “Can we still ‘mess around’? Even if we’re only ‘best buds’?”
What could I say? He had been my best friend for years. I’d just told him that I liked messing around. And I didn’t want to hurt him. Hell, I had been messing around with Aaron. If I could mess around with Aaron, I could mess around with Stef, couldn’t I? So I nodded.
He kissed me again, and this time, I kissed back. He wrapped his arms around me and opened his mouth to mine; our tongues met. It felt weird kissing Stef. But hot, too, and I felt my hands slipping to his butt.
I hadn’t forgotten my promise to Daniel to not jerk off before our trip. And I wasn’t going to try to get out of it by saying this wasn’t jerking off. I just thought I’d make sure Stefan got a good hug and got his rocks off if he needed it.
We lay back on the bed, our arms around each other. His kisses were hungry. I had no idea Stef could kiss like that. He pulled up my shirt and ran his hands over my belly and chest, caressing my pecs. He pulled my shirt over my head and sucked my nipples like he would a girl’s, but damn it felt good. He kissed my chest and down my belly, scooting his body down mine. He undid my pants. (We had never undressed each other before.)
Kissing and licking me all over? Stripping me? He was so hot and horny! Maybe he was turning queer. Maybe I was too, because I sure liked it.
He shoved his hand into my briefs and grabbed my cock. He’d grabbed my cock before, but this time there was possessiveness to it, and a firmness that felt good.
I reached down and pulled his shirt off him. I could do this sort of thing too.
He pulled my pants and briefs down to my ankles, removed my socks and shoes, and then pulled my pants off. I was naked now, on my back, my rock hard cock pointing up my belly. Briefly, I mused that this seemed to be happening a lot lately — guy sex — but unfortunately, not with Daniel!
At the foot of the bed, Stefan kicked off his shoes and socks and shucked his own pants and underwear. Then he crawled up to lay his naked body on mine.
With our cock and balls pressed together, he put his mouth over mine and we kissed. “Damn,” I worried inside my head, “I could cum like this.” After all, I hadn’t jacked off since Wednesday.
Stefan ground into me. His hands were all over my shoulders and in my hair. I stroked his muscled back and butt. Damn, Stef had a fine body! Things were heating up too fast. I wanted to at least try to be faithful in my promise to Daniel, but my resolve was wavering.
I had to get us into something less stimulating. Knowing Stefan liked to fuck me while I was lying on my stomach, I grabbed his pillow, got Stefan off me and rolled over, tucking the pillow under me. That put my butt up. “Go for it, Stef,” I encouraged in a voice thickened with my own heat. I was going to have to be really careful not to cum.
Stefan didn’t help. Instead of just lubing up and plunging in, he began massaging my thighs and between my legs; giving me the kind of rub down I like, beginning with the good stuff. I tried to relax, thinking, “It’s just a rub down. It’s just a rub down.” Then he started on my butt, and as he did, he kissed and licked up my back.
I tried thinking about other things. Football. Going through defensive sets and keys in my head. Stefan’s hand massaged my crack. Damn. His gentle rubbing there felt good. Then he rubbed between my legs again. “Shit, Stefan!” I thought. “Just get started, PLEASE.”
Maybe he read my mind. Stef grabbed some lotion from his nightstand and lubed us up. I spread my legs in invitation and he crawled up over me. I felt his cockhead at my butt hole, and then he pressed in. A little at a time, he filled me. I had forgotten how in this position, his cock could work my prostate. I was soaking his pillow with precum. “He’ll love that later,” I thought.
When he was all the way in, he laid his body down on me. With his weight on his elbows, he ran his forearms under my chest and grabbed my shoulders from under me, pulling forward on me. He kissed over the back of my shoulders and my neck as he moved his cock in me.
It felt damn good, inside and out. The weight of his body, his warm skin on my back, his breath on my neck. I couldn’t help myself; I ground back onto him as he began thrusting into me. But then I concentrated on other things. I mentally ran through the playbook and tonight’s game plan, I hiked a mountain trail in my mind, I even thought about homework — honest. His cock kept rubbing my prostate and I felt like cum was being squeezed out to mix with my precum. I fought it, though. I fought my rising orgasm. I kept thinking, “Tomorrow, wait for tomorrow. Tomorrow is Daniel.”
Stefan was pounding now, and moaning. I was moaning, too, doing my very best to hold off. Stefan kept going and going. “Damn, Stef, you’re lasting longer than usual,” I observed between panting breaths.
“Yeah,” he grunted. “I jerked off twice already today, thinking about doing this with you.”
I groaned. And gritted my teeth.
“Yeah,” he panted, “it feels real good to me too.”
While my body wanted desperately to orgasm, I filled my mind feverishly with other thoughts. Through sheer force of will, I finally reached a plateau that was just short of climax, and held there. And held, and held.
Stefan thrust faster, grinding in. I was thinking, “Oh Stefan, you’d know how much I care about you if you knew how hard this is for me.” And I was thinking, “Oh Daniel, you’d know how much I care about you if you knew what I was saving for you.” And I was thinking, “Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Daniel, I’m going to rape the shit out of you tomorrow.”
Stefan made a final deep plunge and shot his cum into me. It almost took me over the edge. My butt spasmed involuntary before I willed it to stop.
“Ummmmm,” Stefan purred into my back, and kissed my neck again. His body relaxed on mine. “Did you cum yet?” He asked dreamily.
“Sort of,” I thought some cum had to have been squeezed out by him, but I hadn’t orgasmed.
My lower lip hurt like hell and I realized I’d been biting it. No blood though.
“You can do me,” he offered.
“No, no. I’m fine,” I said. I wanted him out of my butt, now! If he didn’t pull out soon, I’d come for sure; Stef was still thick in me. “That was terrific, guy,” I said. “You are soooo good at that. But I think we need to rest now. You know how coach says no smokin’, drinkin’, sex, or jackin’ off before a game.”
“Yeah, guess we blew that, huh?” Stefan said. With relief, I felt him rise up and pull out.
“Really,” I agreed, and to myself I thought, “Thank you coach.”
There was a blanket at the foot of the bed and he grabbed it. Pulling it up over us, he lay down next to me. I rolled onto my side to face him and let him cuddle into me. I tried to keep my rock hard and dripping cock from rubbing against him. We dozed, and at some point, I finally got soft.
I woke, thinking it was time to get ready. Stefan just lay there, looking at me. His eyes were wet. “I do love you, Sean,” he said.
“I know, Stef. We’ll work it all out, guy.” I hugged him and patted his back, “We will work it out.”
We didn’t eat. I never eat before a game, or I lose it.
It was only a pre-season game that night, but I was excited. I was hoping to start for the varsity for the first time.
Both teams were slow starting. The first half was full of mistakes and neither side scored. It was a fumbling match. During a second quarter time-out Aaron came over to me on the sideline and said, “I hear you and Daniel are going fishing this weekend.”
There were reasons I hadn’t told Aaron about the weekend. One was that I didn’t want him inviting himself along. “Yeah,” I answered cautiously. “His uncle has a boat.”
“Well,” Aaron said, looking over at me with a big grin. “Practice real hard for me.”
The second half, both Aaron and I were sent in. I went in as left cornerback. We were playing one-on-one coverage and on my third play, an opposing end got past me, caught a pass, and outran me to our goal line. I was humiliated and angry.
But Coach left me in, and when, in the next series of plays, they tried the very same play again, I was ready. I dropped under and intercepted the pass, running it all the way for a touchdown. I was redeemed, and we went on to win.
Afterward, it was free malts for varsity players and cheerleaders at the DQ (the reward for any win). People back-slapped me. Jodi, a cheerleader, and my girlfriend from Spring, hung all over me. And Rachael, the girl I was considering for my Fall girl friend, smiled at me every time our eyes met.
It was an incredible night for me. My first game on the varsity and I had made an interception and touchdown. All the guys praised me, and all the girls smiled at me. But all I could think of was Daniel, and tomorrow.
I begged out early. Jodi asked me to take her home and I knew she wanted to make out. I figured that if I wanted to keep dating her, I could lay her in a couple of dates, tops. When I begged off, explaining that I needed to get a good night’s sleep because I had to get up early for a fishing trip, she looked angry.
When I got home, my brother Colin, also my biggest fan, was all over me. So was his buddy, Tommy, who was sleeping over. My parents and little sister had gone to bed, but Colin and Tommy had been allowed to stay up to congratulate me on the game.
Tommy and his family were Chinese. He was a cute kid with an adventurous streak. He and Colin were alike. Both of them always seemed a bit hyper, but especially tonight.
We relived the interception and touchdown. The guys would have talked all night, but they finally let me make it to bed.
I didn’t sleep that well. I was too excited about tomorrow.
The next morning, Mom greeted me with a hug and congratulations. She had gotten up early to fix me a good breakfast before I left for the beach. I’m afraid I just picked at it. I was far too excited about the day ahead. It was all I could do to sit in front of my plate long enough to be polite. While I was picking at my food, I felt Dad’s large hands grip and squeeze my shoulders from behind. “Good game, Sean,” he said, then came around the table to his seat. “I thought your mom was going to climb up my back when you caught that interception. You never heard so much yelling and screaming.” He winked at me.
“Your dad is joking,” Mom said, walking past to kiss Dad on the forehead. “There was no way anyone could crawl up his back; he was jumping up and down too much.”
There was more talk about the game, and then Dad asked, “So you and Daniel are becoming good friends, huh?”
“Yeah, Dad. He’s cool.”
“You’re not just becoming friends with him because his uncle has the kind of boat that you love are you?” Dad teased.
“Yeah, Dad. If you’d just buy one of those boats, I wouldn’t need any friends at all.” I teased back.
He laughed. “Really, I’m pleased about your friendship with Dan. His dad and I probably don’t agree about anything, but we’ve always been friendly. I think we could actually be good friends. Maybe your friendship with Daniel will give us a chance.”
My Dad was friendly with just about everyone, but he always chose smart people to be his close friends. Dad would probably deny it, but he was quite an intellectual, and he loved talking about everything under the sun with people who were intelligent and erudite. Daniel’s dad was both.
Dan showed up in his dad’s jeep at 8:00 AM, just as I finished eating. Dad and I started carrying out my gear. “Hey,” Daniel said, “I thought you decided to leave your guitar at home.”
“It’s not mine,” I explained, “It’s my Mom’s old one. She says it’s no big deal if it gets messed up at the beach. She said we can make it our beach guitar. I told her I could go for that.” I snuck Daniel a meaningful smile.
Dad gave me a hug and shook Daniel’s hand, wishing us a good weekend (if only he knew). We were off within minutes.
First we stopped at Daniel’s Uncle James’ house. His uncle was rich, and though he didn’t live very far from my house, there was a world of difference in our homes. Theirs was modern, two story, and on a couple of acres. Daniel led us in by the back door. We walked into the den and found Austin, Ryan, and Jeremy stretched out on couches, watching Saturday morning cartoons in just their shorts.
Especially with his thick head of blond hair, Austin looked like a younger, smaller, thinner version of Daniel. Jeremy, the youngest, shared his oldest brother’s gregarious smile and bright eyes. Ryan, the middle brother, had hair that was thicker and darker than his brothers’, and he had the slightly more rounded hips of an early teen. All three were well tanned from a summer at the beach, and a fine down of golden hair covered their legs and arms.
They were small guys, with fine features, and faces that you would have to call pretty. There was little fat on them, though there was a softness to their bodies that was definitely boyish. It was hard to believe that Austin and my brother Colin were the same age, and that Ryan was only a year younger.
Austin and Jeremy jumped up from the couch and came right to me. “Wow, Sean! Great game!” Austin said, reaching up to pat my back..
“Yeah, that was a terrific interception,” Jeremy agreed enthusiastically. Like his brother, he patted my back.
“Hey!” Daniel interrupted. “I thought you guys had football games today.”
“Yeah, later,” Austin said.
“We’re resting,” Jeremy informed us, and patting my back, continued. “The way you cut right under that guy and just stole it; just stole the ball like… that. Man, it was like the pros.”
Ryan approached quietly. I only knew the brothers like you know other guys in a small town, and I hadn’t seen Ryan in a while. Like his brothers, he had dark, wide-set eyes that dominated his face, but where their eyes were bright, Ryan’s were thoughtful. He leaned quietly against the wall, watching me. I smiled at him and he smiled back, shyly. Sometimes you meet someone, and you just like them right off. I liked Ryan.
Austin squeezed my bicep, feeling my muscle, as Jeremy went on about the game. There was something different about the way Austin smiled at me. Oh, it was a friendly, admiring smile alright, but it was a different kind of admiring look than Jeremy’s. The way Austin looked at me; it was easy to believe he really was fourteen after all.
“Where’s your dad?” Daniel asked.
“Right here,” came a man’s voice from behind us. We turned as Uncle James entered the room. James was normal in height. The boys got their smallness from their mom. “Here are the keys,” he said, handing them to Daniel. “They have a set at the marina, but that set doesn’t have the beach house key.”
Daniel shrugged as he took the keys. “We’re just going to sleep on the boat. Sean here,” he said, nodding my way, “wants to be a biologist. Sleep with the fish.”
“Hey,” Jeremy said, “Ry wants to be a biologist.”
Uncle James snorted. “Ry wants to do lots of things, but he won’t buckle down on anything.”
Ryan’s eyes dropped to the floor and his face turned red.
Uncle James held out his hand toward me. “How are you doing, Sean? That was a great game last night.”
“You mean, after I let a touchdown get by?” I asked with a wry smile.
“He was super, wasn’t he, Dad!” Jeremy said, patting my back.
“You redeemed yourself well enough,” James agreed. “That was a terrific interception. You made the other guys regret trying that play on you again, that’s for sure.” He turned to his sons. “You boys can learn from Sean, here. He’s got lots of hustle. And what have I told you. Hustle’s important, especially for you guys since none of you have started growing yet.” His eyes rested pointedly on Ryan.
My dad never picked on us like James seemed to be picking on Ryan, and he never spoke highly of me without complimenting Colin, and visa-versa. And he never said anything negative about us in front of others. I felt sorry for Ryan..
The cousins followed us out to the car when we left. Daniel chuckled as he drove us onto the road. “You have quite a fan club.” Then he looked over at me. “I’m a member, too,” he said with a wink.
We talked about the game for a while. Like his cousins, Dan talked as if my interception was the greatest event in high school football history. But he also repeated, in detail, every move I had made the whole time I was on the field. Daniel’s eyes must not have left me the entire game.
I resolved right then, that I wouldn’t worry about being or not being gay; not this weekend. I was with Daniel, and whatever happened, happened -I really wanted it to happen.
Our conversation moved on to the beach and what we would need to do to get the boat ready, and our overall plan for the day. Then there was a lapse in the conversation.
Daniel held out his open hand between our seats, and said, “Damn, it’s been a long week.”
I took his hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. “Especially the last three days,” I said. “I have the blue balls to prove it.”
As soon as I said that, I regretted it. Here Daniel was being warm and serious and neither of us had said a word about sex, and I have to get all gross with “blue balls.”
But he laughed. “Poor Sean. How much do you jerk off anyway? Only a couple of days holding off and you already have blue balls?”
I smiled at him, “I jerk off a hell of a lot more since I met you.” No way was I going to tell him about the afternoon before with Stefan.
“Here,” he said. “Put your feet over here,” and he patted the side of the driver’s seat.
I kicked off my sandals and put my feet up on the side of his leg, and prodded him with my toes. He chuckled, and checked the rear view mirror before leaning over, and with his hand, he gently massaged my crotch. “Here. Let me help you with those sore balls,” he said.
His gentle caressing actually did feel good. I started to get hard, though, and reached into my swim trunks to pull my cock out of the way. Daniel gently cupped me and rubbed me through my suit. “You know, that does seem to help,” I admitted.
“Pull your shorts down,” he instructed.
I raised my eyebrows.
“No one’s coming. Just pull them down so I can get to you.”
I picked up my butt and pushed my trunks down to my ankles, then sat back down and let my knees fall out to either side, legs spread. My cock rested semi hard over my hip. Daniel reached over and cupped my balls and gently worked my ballsack. I leaned back and sighed.
The jeep drifted and Daniel had to swerve back onto the road. I kept quiet. I didn’t want him to stop. That is, up until he started including my cock in his ministrations. I got hard instantly.
“That,” I grinned, “is only going to make it worse.”
Just then, a large eighteen-wheeler came from the other direction. I saw the shirtless driver looking down into the jeep as he went by. “Maybe we better save some of your ‘medical attention’ for the boat.” I suggested.
Daniel took back his hand. “OK. We’ll make it a real hospital ship,” he grinned. I pulled my suit up.