Rhythm

by

John Terry Moore
 

CHAPTER 7

It was late, around 10.30pm, when Adam drove into the yard and parked in the barn.  Barney ran over, sniffing at the passenger door.   ‘Jesus,’ thought Adam, ‘he’s looking for Pat.’  Prince and old Hector, the stock horses snickered quietly, forcing Adam to dig into the storage bin next to their paddock and find them a carrot each, as Patrick did.  He grinned at himself; ‘What a hopeless case I am,’ he thought. ‘I’m as bad as the animals.’ 

The light was off in his parents’ room, so he showered and slipped under the covers in his bed.  He sighed, and pressed the quick dial on his phone.  A sleepy but amused voice answered.  “Thought you’d never ring,” said Patrick.  “It’s as quiet as a tomb up here.” 

“Like a graveyard?” said Adam, not realising there was a line there. 

“Yep,” came back the reply, “complete with a stiffy!”  Adam roared with laughter.  “Oh you’re so bloody crass,” he laughed.  “Y’ miss me?” he asked. 

“Yeah, of course I do," came the reply.  “Talk tomorrow, darlin’, ’night,” and the connection was severed.  Adam smiled and shook his head; ‘How is it we’ve now started calling each other darling?’ 

Adam’s shout of laughter had woken his dad who tapped on his door.  “You forgot to say goodnight,” he admonished.  He walked over to Adam’s bed and kissed him on the cheek.  “It’s all right, mum’s sound asleep, let’s leave her there.  You want to talk now?” Tom asked. 

“Nah,” said Adam, “leave it until the morning, I’m buggered.” 

“Adam, are you OK?” said Tom with a concerned look on his face.  “We’ve been so worried about you, and coming down here without Pat is unusual, to say the least.  You two haven’t had a fight, have you?”  Adam laughed in spite of himself.  “No dad, we’re really cool, just give me until the morning to get my head straight, will ya?” he pleaded. 

“Sure,” replied Tom. “Sleep tight, we love you”.  He kissed his son again and padded out the door, a little reassured, but nonetheless puzzled. 

*****

It was a cold morning, so Tom had the big slow combustion stove gunned up and had begun to open doors to warm the remainder of the house.  “Looks like a frost out there,” Adam said. 

“Yeah,” said Tom laconically; “that’s the end of my late tomatoes I’m afraid”.  They skipped around the reason for Adam’s trip home; Tom cooked breakfast and took some to Mary, still in bed; her usual Saturday morning treat when they weren’t harvesting or shearing.  Then when he and Adam finished eating, they loaded the dishwasher and Tom patted the seat on the comfortable settee next to him.  Tom Church liked to think of himself as a progressive parent; he had been blessed by a loyal, supportive and free-thinking partner in Mary, and together they had encouraged their kids to talk to them before problems became insurmountable, no matter what they were.  And it appeared to have worked.  Tom and Mary had raised their kids by example, and the kids had certainly all followed that example.  Tom in particular had tried to stand alongside his two boys and his daughter rather than stand over them, as his own father, Percy, had done to him and his big brother Will.  He and Will had endured an unnecessarily cruel upbringing for no reason.  It had just been the two of them; Will, the eldest, was a gentle creature, but Tom, surprisingly, was the tough one.  The more Percy bullied Will, the more Tom fought for him.  Percy would thrash the boys with a stock whip until one day, as a fourteen-year-old, Tom could take no more.  He grabbed the whip from his father and belted him back.  He remembered screaming at him at the time, that if he ever hit either of them again, he was going to the police.  When his father laughed at them, he and Will had produced Polaroid photographs of their injuries, together with a meticulous account in writing which he and Will had documented with great accuracy. 

Their mother, realising the shift of power in the family, sided with the boys, and they had some peace at last.  Fortunately, once Percy’s bluff had been called, their upbringing settled back into a reasonably normal lifestyle.  But Tom in particular was so deeply affected by the early trauma in his life, that he decided when he had children it would be because he wanted children for themselves, not just slave labour in the line of succession to take over the family business; the property.  So that’s why all his kids had chosen their own fields; David was a successful accountant, and Megan an IT consultant and mother.  And the youngest kid, sitting next to him was his greatest joy.  Perhaps because he looked so like his mother; with the sandy hair and the freckles, and yet the slightly upturned nose reminded him so much of Will.  So instead of demanding that Adam spit out immediately what was on his mind as old Percy would have done, he simply said to Adam; “And how may this generation be of assistance to the new generation?”  Adam looked at his father, and, as millions of kids have done through time immemorial, he said in a steady voice, “Dad, I’m gay, or I think I am,” and then promptly burst into tears. 

“Oh thank Christ,” shouted Tom, “is that all!” as Mary swept into the room.  “I thought you were going to tell me you were hooked on some new party drug and that your life as a functioning human being couldn’t continue without ongoing chemical enhancement!” 

“Dad, did anyone ever tell you that you’re a bit loopy?” smiled Adam, blowing his nose. 

“Yes, your mother does, all the time,” he laughed.  “But being gay is like having blue or green eyes, it doesn’t matter ----- ”  He stopped speaking and smiled, “It’s Patrick, isn’t it?” 

Adam nodded, “I’m in love with him,” he said to them both, as his mother joined them.  “Totally, completely and without doubt.” 

“So what’s the problem, love?” asked Mary. 

“Well, I haven’t told him yet and he may not like me all that much, you know,” he mumbled.  His parents roared with laughter.

“You have to be joking son,” she said.  “Dad and I thought you two were an item ages ago and you just wanted to keep it to yourselves.  Patrick loves you, Adam, he adores you.  We noticed it the first time you brought him home.  And Adam, he is so special.  Even the animals know he’s special and they all know he’s yours.  I’ll bet Barney and the horses are looking for him with your car in the barn and no sign of Pat.”  Adam nodded miserably. 

Suddenly, Tom spoke.  “So mate, is the problem that you’ve never been gay before and don’t know what to do?” 

“In a nutshell, yes,” he replied, looking more defeated than ever.  “I’ve never done anything gay with anyone and I’m frightened I’ll stuff it up because I don’t want to ruin it all with Patrick.  I mean if the sex doesn’t work out, I could lose my best friend and the person I love most in the world.  But if I don’t do anything, he’ll probably find someone else, and I couldn’t stand the thought of that.  You see, dad,” he said, “it didn’t seem to matter with all the girlfriends I’ve had because there was nothing emotional at all there; nothing,” he emphasised.  But the one person I have an amazing romantic connection with is a male and I don’t know what to do!  It’s like being a virgin all over again and not knowing what to expect,” he said dispiritedly. 

“Mare, can we have some more coffee please, darling?” Tom said, and Mary jumped to her feet, sensing he needed the space with their son. 

*****

“Adam,” he said, “remember how we have often talked about how genetics continue to be the single most dominant factor in animal husbandry, and how the central traits, both good and bad can emerge again in future generations?  Just when you thought you had been so clever and eliminated them altogether?”  Adam nodded and Tom continued.  “Well, humans are the same.  Time and time again, you young people think you are the only person in the universe ever to have a problem, right?”  Adam grinned.  “That no one else has ever been in the same situation that you find yourself in.  The fact is, other generations before you have faced similar challenges, and most particularly in our family!”  Adam’s mouth fell open.  “Yes,” said Tom, “now I need to tell you a story about two lovely blokes named William and Maurice, your uncle and his partner”. 

“We’ve not talked much about Grandpa and Grandma Church with you kids,” began Tom, “because there’s a lot of negative stuff, and none of it very useful.”  “Well I knew about old Grandpa being violent and whipping you and Uncle Will,” said Adam.

“Yes we had a tough time, but both your uncle and I were determined never to be victims; so we just got on with our lives and tried to put it all behind us.  Uncle Will was engaged to be married; and for the first time, old Grandpa was actually pleased with something!  Her name was Joan Woodbridge.” 

“The Woodbridges”? asked Adam. 

“The same family; owned half the Western District; had about twenty properties,” smiled Tom.  “All Grandpa could see was the money, bucket loads of it!  So the wedding day was set, but I was uneasy, because I knew my brother so well.  He wasn’t happy, and I couldn’t put my finger on it.  Your mum and I had started going out at the same time and it was she who first understood what was happening.”  Just then, Mary entered the room, bringing fresh coffee.  “Perhaps you should tell the next bit,” he said. 

“Sweetheart,” she said to Adam, “guess who was to be Uncle Will’s best man at the wedding?” 

“Maurie?” said Adam. 

“Yes, darling Maurie,” she smiled.  “He was your uncle’s best mate, just like Pat is yours.  Put simply, he and Uncle Will fell in love.” 

“And the shit hit the fan in a big way,” continued Tom.  “After some gentle prodding from Sherlock, here," he said, pointing to Mary, “Uncle Will admitted to us he was beside himself with worry.  He felt he would be totally dishonourable going ahead with his marriage to Joan when he had such strong feelings for Maurie.  Now that was still the era when gay men married women anyway and played on the side.  Uncle Will would have none of that, because he loved Maurie so much, and because he was and is a good and decent person.  Maurie was a committed gay man, just like Patrick.  Uncle Will, just like you, had no experience at all with men between the sheets, as it were.” 

“So that’s when I actually fell in love with your father,” said Mary, sweetly.  “Your dad was amazing.  When Grandpa was told the wedding was off, the old bastard went totally crazy, and your dad stuck by both Uncle Will and Maurie.  It was like World War Three.  The community here got wind of it and we were treated as outcasts.  Your dad and I were thrown off the property, as was Uncle Will, so the three of us moved into town, into Maurie’s little flat until the volcano subsided.”  “You mean to say you two were living in sin, back then?” laughed Adam.  “Absolutely,” said Mary.  “We were in one bedroom and Will and Maurie were in the other.  We were all a bit shell-shocked, I think, but there was an enormous sense of relief that we had escaped from Grandpa’s clutches.” 

“Uncle Will and I had a few drinks that first night,” Tom continued.  “Somehow with almost no money at all, we managed to scrounge a bottle of brandy from somewhere.  I’ve never really liked that stuff ever since!  That night we went to our separate bedrooms; Uncle Will went in with Maurie a straight man, and came out the next morning a proud gay man with a smile on his face, and despite the hangover we’d given ourselves, he told us everything worked just so well, and importantly, he was so glad he trusted his heart, not his wallet.” 

“So that’s why we’re so close to Will and Maurie,” said Mary.  “They’ve always been in our lives because loyalty runs both ways in good family relationships.  I think they have been wonderful role models for you kids; forced you all to focus on the important things in life, like human relationships, and above all, to ignore community attitudes based on hatred and ignorance.” 

“I had no idea about most of this stuff,” said Adam quietly.  “I feel very humble.  Makes my problems seem silly.” 

“You don’t have any problems, silly boy,” said his mother, “only opportunities.” 

*****

“Grandpa never made it,” Tom continued quietly.  “He had a massive stroke shortly after we left and died in the local hospital before he could change his will and disinherit Uncle Will and I.  Grandma Church was devastated; even though she had a terrible life with our father, she too passed away only a few weeks later.  After Grandma’s funeral, Will decided not to continue on the farm, but he would be close by if we needed an extra hand at shearing or harvesting,” said Tom.  “There was some money from the estate, which gave Will and Maurie some working capital to start their business, and I needed the rest to keep this place going.  Will still has an interest in this place, but both of us will soon have to consider our future, because we’re not getting any younger.” 

“Anyway Ads, that’s the Church family version of War and Peace; or a re-run of Days of our Lives,” chipped in Mary. 

“You’re amazing, you two,” Adam laughed.  “Can you imagine the conversation at uni ----- ‘Y’ ’ave a good weekend?’  ‘Yeah, went home to me mum and dad and talked ’bout sex all weekend.  ‘Oh yeah ----- and the family history.  Subject matter didn’t change much, actually!’” 

*****

It was late afternoon when Adam drove into Will and Maurie’s front courtyard.  Maurie threw open the front door and hugged Adam.  “He’s on the phone, and yes, as you would expect, they’ve been talking to each other,” he said.  Adam’s eyes clouded a little and then he smiled.  “No secrets in this family are there!”  “Only complicates matters further, darling,” replied Maurie.  “I suppose you’ve finally heard the potted history of our generation, though; when the Church family decides to create a scandal, darling, we have a good one!  Well in those days it was, no one worries about all those useless social ‘norms’ these days.  Your uncle and I were the only out and proud same-sex couple in the district in those days; now there’s at least fifty couples, and probably two hundred singles for all we know.”  Maurie turned to look at Adam.  “So given your current mindset, darling, how are you feeling?” 

Before Adam had a chance to answer, Maurie continued; grabbing both of his hands; “Adam, Uncle Will and I have always adored you, I know you understand that.  You are more ‘country’ than your brother and sister, just like we are.  You have the kindest, most beautiful and loving nature and I always expected, from a very early age that you would be just like Uncle Will.” 

“But if you knew, why didn’t you say something?” Adam whined. 

“Because Uncle Will was in denial about you for one thing and because you have to make your own journey through life and make your own decisions.  Am I making sense?” he asked.

 “Perfectly, and thanks, I love you Maurie,” said Adam, his eyes misting up again.  “Hey kid,” came Will’s voice from the doorway, as he strode over and cuddled his nephew.  Then Maurie watched fondly for the first time ever, as uncle and nephew were lost for words.  They studied each other’s face, and in the end it was Adam who broke the spell and said in a throaty voice; “Well, who’s a girl got to fuck to get a drink around here!”  It did what it promised and broke the tension in the room and Will and Maurie roared with laughter. 

“Ahh,” said Maurie, “straight from Patrick’s repertoire, I’ll bet.” 

“Of course,” smiled Adam, “who else?”  Whilst Adam had been slightly miffed that his father and Uncle Will had talked about the reason for his visit, there was no doubt that as a result, it was like a curtain had been lifted on the relationship between himself and his uncle.  “So how can I help in all of this, mate?” said Will.  Maurie, ever the diplomat, moved swiftly towards the kitchen to check on the dinner, and give them some space. 

“Well, I certainly feel a lot better after talking to mum and dad,” replied Adam.  “But I still feel anxious about doing, having, um, you know, sex.” 

“I know,” responded Will, “and I understand, because I’ve been there as well.  Even with your dad’s very agricultural philosophy, his view on genetics is pretty much spot-on.  I faced exactly the dilemma that you find yourself in right now.  Frightened you’ll stuff up the sex act if you do something, but even more scared you’ll lose him if you don’t.” 

Adam nodded his head to confirm history was indeed repeating itself. 

“But it’s not really about sex, it’s about people, Adam,” Uncle Will continued.  “It’s not correct to say that all gay people are so because of their genetic history, but it does explain why various family members like you and I respond in the same way.  I hate the gay tag at times, because I’ve met so many people who are from same-sex partnerships who have never thought of themselves as gay at all. Yet they have loving and lasting long term partnerships simply because they love each other.” 

“What?” said Adam, obviously shocked.  “Even two straight guys?” 

“Yes, we know of two couples who started out that way; younger boys, in your age group actually, who don’t feel bound by the old clichés or the societal models.  In fact, one of those couples has just started their own family by surrogacy.” 

Adam’s mind went into overdrive.  “Uncle Will,” he said, “how do you define bisexual guys?  Am I bisexual?” 

“Adam,” he replied.  “I think all men have that capacity, obviously including you and I.  In the past, many guys have classified themselves as bi when they’ve known full well they were gay, but wanted to kid themselves, their mates and everyone around them that they’re not a full card-carrying gay man, because society was still somewhat disapproving.  There are guys, of course who regularly have sex with both men and women, many of them happily married to women with families.” 

“Happily?” said Adam with raised eyebrows. 

“Well for those guys,” said Will patiently, “they see themselves as having the best of both worlds.  They usually have an emotional attachment to their wives, but their real sexual attraction is to men, and they get that wherever they can, at public toilets, the saunas and clubs and the Internet, of course.” 

“I couldn’t pretend like that,” croaked Adam, feeling depressed.  “What a way to live!” 

“Yes, I agree,” smiled his uncle, “I couldn’t live a double life; I didn’t even try, Maurie meant too much to me.  But times have changed yet again and there is a lot more honesty than ever from young people and the lifestyles they choose for themselves.  The one thing that binds us all together as humans is that we are all different!  So it is impossible to apply hard and fast rules to human beings!  Granted, where there is an obvious genetic link such as you and I, then I think we will probably turn out very similar.  Frankly, I have a feeling that maybe ninety-five per cent of young people know from birth where their sexual inclinations lie.  It is in the other five per cent that you and I fit; along with all the so-called straight guys, bi guys etc, who end up with a same-sex partnership. 

You know the girls have been much more flexible than boys in same-sex unions, always.  It’s been quite normal for them, where one or both partners see themselves as straight sexually, yet they seem to bond for life very easily.  In those cases, and in cases like Maurie and I; one thing separates us from the others ----- that famous four letter word; love!” 

Adam’s eyes widened as he tried to process all the information, but he knew his uncle’s advice was spot on.  “It’s really not about sex at all Adam,” repeated Maurie softly, as he entered the room.  “It’s all about people.  The difference in our case is that we formed a strong emotional attachment for each other before we had a physical relationship.  And dinner is on the buffet, gentlemen, so let’s eat,” smiled Maurie.  “I take it you won’t be hanging around down here tonight,” Maurie teased; “going back to uni, are we?” 

“Of course,” smiled Adam, knowing he was being wound up.  “You two are as bad as mum and dad.  Mum had the sheets off my bed straight after breakfast; they knew I wouldn’t be staying!”  Just then his phone buzzed.  “Hey,” he said.  “What’s up?” 

“When are you coming home?” said Patrick’s voice. 

“Not you too,” he grinned, I’m getting the wind up down here to the point I’m beginning to think no one loves me!” 

“Well I love you,” Patrick whispered back, “and that’s all you need to worry about.”  Adam excused himself from the table and ran out of the room, into the cavernous hallway of the old home. 

“Really, you really love me?” 

“Of course I do you goose,” replied Patrick.  “It started the day I met you on that bus, do you remember?”  Adam nodded silently.  “I really haven’t been the same since,” Patrick said. 

“I love you too, Patty” said Adam, his voice breaking a little.  “Oh, I’m such a sook,” he said, “Sorry”. 

“That’s your most endearing feature, Ads, you’re so open and loving.  What you see is what you get with you, I wouldn’t want you to change one bit.  And darling,” he said, “don’t feel you have to perform ----- I’ll look after you and teach you, that’s what I’m here for, OK?” 

“Oh, yeah,” grinned Adam, “OK.”  Adam looked down at the zip on his jeans, which had begun to distend.  “It won’t be too difficult, but it might be hard for us,” he laughed. 

“Adam, are we having phone sex?” came the sharp retort. 

“Bloody will be if you keep talking like that,” he laughed.  “Look, I’d better finish up here and I’ll be on my way, right?” 

“Ads, for Christ’s sake be careful driving!” Patrick said.  “You do get around in a dream sometimes, and you need to focus on your driving, OK?” 

“Yeah, I know, I do dream along a bit.  But now at least I’ve got something to bloody dream about.  Christ I love you Pats, you have no idea,” he sniffed. 

“Yes, I know you do, and I love you too, so get your arse in that

“Adam, for goodness sake, watch what you’re doing on the road, will car; and remember I’ve got a big surprise here, just for you!” 

“Yeah, OK darls, see you soon, bye.” 

Adam walked into the dining room of the old home and looked at his Uncle Will and Maurie.  He felt as if he would never stop smiling.  Suddenly, it had all come together for him, and he felt not trepidation, but confidence.  “He feels the same way about me,” he breathed.  “That’s what made me so paranoid.  I didn’t really know until just now.  Now it’s all plain sailing.  What a bloody beauty.”  “Adam, for goodness sake, watch what you’re doing on the road, will you darling?” said Maurie.  “You do tend to be a bit of a dreamer at times.” 

“Yes, I’ll be careful!” smiled Adam, grinning insanely from ear to ear.