Rhythm
by
John Terry Moore
CHAPTER 6
The following Saturday was their next race; and there was a double sculls event in each of the regattas leading up to the State championships. “It’s all right Ads,” said Patrick with a lopsided grin, feeling he had to state the obvious. “I’m determined my love life or lack of it won’t affect us. Actually, our sculling is a godsend; it gives me something to focus on, rather than sitting around and feeling sorry for myself. Never was a good victim, I’ve always just got on with it in the past. How about you?” he asked, obviously hinting at Gayle’s departure from his life.
“Cool,” said Adam. “I’m happy as long as you’re happy,” he smiled.
‘And that,’ thought Patrick, ‘was yet another piece in the Adam puzzle. I have to be so careful,’ he thought, ‘not to read too much into such remarks.’ But he realised that in the few days following his massive break-up with Garry, he’d come to rely on Adam more than ever. He also knew that underneath there were feelings for Adam that had begun to surface even before he and Garry had gone their separate ways. It worried him. A gay guy caring for a straight guy had no future and plenty of heartbreak. He tried to imagine what would happen if Adam took on a new girlfriend, and realised he had the potential to be very jealous and possessive, not a good look and certainly the end of a wonderful friendship and a sporting career. But it looked like Adam cared for nobody else but him; amazing really; whenever he felt despondent or unhappy, Adam was always there, and just so physical! The arm around his shoulders, the kiss goodnight had progressed into a kiss good morning and he was regularly climbing into bed with him on the pretext that he needed comforting. And of course, he didn’t want to stop him! All very decent, in their underwear, but in the mornings Adam was always out first, trying to hide his distended briefs, whilst Patrick used the sheets to camouflage the excess of interest brought on by both Adam’s proximity and the need to pee.
And the weekends after regattas were idyllic; it was a little over two hours to the farm and Patrick became a frequent visitor; a much loved and useful member of the family group. So much so that he could muster a paddock with Barney and be of serious assistance to Tom and Mary in many other things, including serving up a repast ‘fit for a queen’ (as Maurie said) for the entire family group. Adam just looked on, amazed, “but very proud of his friend,” noted Uncle Will.
Patrick met David and Libby, Adam’s elder brother and his wife; and their kids, Angela and Madeline. And Adam’s sister Megan, her husband Ted and their son, Jimmy. David was bright, cheerful, looked like his father but hated country life with a passion. Megan, well Megan was just Moaning Megan, negative and sullen. “Don’t worry Pat,” said Mary, “she’s always like that, it’s genetic. Old Percy, Tom’s father was just the same. Old bastard he was, but our Megs is OK. It’s just the way she is. Roll with the punches, that’s all I can say! She takes her good time with new people, but when she finally accepts you, I can promise you’ll know all about it!”
*****
They won the next race handsomely, which worried Michael Mitchell. The current champions still hadn’t taken on Adam and Patrick, and it didn’t look like they would until the day of the championships. So there was no measure of how good they were, although their times on dead water were almost up to Olympic standard. They continued to win with good margins, but Michael wasn’t confident of a state title. So he flogged the boys, making them run the hill twice a day and race the Senior Eight three times a week.
The day of the finals was a blustery day, which made Michael nervous.
Adam and Patrick’s experience in rough water was not extensive and they were by far the heavier crew, so their boat sat lower in the water, making it difficult to clear their finishes. He adjusted their riggers a little higher, insisted they try them first for comfort and urged them to pay attention to their blade work, keeping them off the water at all times, so as not to slow the boat down.
They paddled up to the line, feeling, as Patrick said, “As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”
Adam laughed, “I’m worse. More nervous than a turkey the week before Christmas.” They both laughed and it settled them down. It was quite rough and they knew their chances were diminishing as the breeze strengthened. They were big guys and rough water always favoured smaller rowers; unless, as Adam said, the wind blew straight at their backs and their power would then take over and give them the advantage. And it did; the breeze picked up even further, but it turned around so they would be racing straight into it. “You beauty,” said Adam to Patrick; “just big long strokes, power through the water, we won’t have to worry about the rating too much.” He watched for the smoke again and they tore their paddles through the water, leaving huge holes in the rolling foam and easily won the start.
It was like surfing, Patrick decided, except they were rowing over the top of the waves instead of along them. The spray hit Patrick in the back as bow man, but it was with a sense of exhilaration as they ripped through the water. At the 1000 metre mark their opposition, the current state champions, made their move, but it was obvious they were struggling. It became a carbon copy of Adam and Patrick’s very first race at Denholme; their opposition tired, and began to drift over into their lane. The moment the umpire corrected them, Adam and Patrick took off, powering away with huge long strokes, charging over the line and winning the first state title for the university for nearly fifteen years.
The University Rowing Club members, friends and supporters screamed and cheered, the Dean cried and the boys were the men of the moment.
*****
Because the Olympics were only 19 months away, it had been decided to postpone various national events including the double sculls until 12 month’s time. The King’s Cup for Eights would go ahead, as would the President’s Cup for single sculls, but the remaining events including the double sculls would all meet in 12 months at the World Rowing Championships, and Olympic qualification, held (unusually) in Australia. That would give all chosen for an Olympic berth, a clear six months to complete their preparation on top of a season of competition. Michael Mitchell had his doubts as to how far ‘his boys’ could go. They were great oarsmen, their skill levels were continuing to improve and they were superbly fit. But there was something missing ----- the killer instinct was not part of their make up; ‘they’re just too nice,’ he thought. Still, the university had everything to gain from their efforts and they had injected new life into the rowing squad. “So boys,” announced Michael. “I think you should have a three-month winter layoff; relax, eat well, do your hill twice a week and generally clear your minds for what lies ahead. And you do have your studies to consider.”
‘Ah yes, the studies,’ they both thought together. They were both on similar academic journeys; Adam in Law and Patrick majoring in International Business. Their grades and progress were good without being earth-shattering. But there was a growing feeling in both of them that their basic interests and lifestyles had changed since they started their courses. Adam was no longer sure that he wanted to be a solicitor because he had reservations about living full-time in the metropolitan area. And Patrick? Well Patrick had found a whole set of new interests; country life, farming and animals in that order.
*****
And so it was in their winter layoff that Adam realised he was in love at last.
Not with a nice girl like ninety per cent of his peer group, but with his best friend, a gay guy comfortable in his sexuality and his emotional make up. A person who made his days complete, and as he had realised recently, despite his confusion about himself, was making him a better person in the process. Someone he quite intentionally spent most of his time with because he frankly enjoyed Patrick’s company more than anyone else. And his family were crazy about him. They hung on his every word, and rather than feeling competitive with him, he felt pride. They were a team, no question. What one of them might have lacked, the other had in abundance, so they balanced each other out. Not a single word had been spoken in anger between them. He could discuss with Patrick his innermost secrets; all excepting his most hidden fear ----- of having sex with another guy. Oh, Patrick turned him on OK; he managed to sneak a peek at his amazing body every day, usually in the showers as he tried to string the conversation along and make the visuals last a little longer. And now he was sneaking in a wank or two with Pat in his mind’s eye. He was totally conflicted; he wasn’t hung up on perhaps being gay, far from it. With Uncle Will and Maurie around him all his life, he had a deep understanding of how community attitudes had changed. With people in his own age group it just wasn’t an issue anymore. ‘So what’s my bloody problem?’ he thought to himself. There was no doubt he was becoming more and more physically turned on by Patrick and that just increased the pressure on him to do something. And he had nearly made a complete dick of himself when he caught Patrick talking to Angelo, the bow man from the Senior Eight, particularly when Patrick confirmed Angelo was gay. In a surge of jealousy and somewhat naively Adam blurted out, “How do you know? “Because he put the hards on me, that’s why,” Patrick flashed back.
“Oh sorry,” muttered Adam, hoping Patrick wouldn’t call him on it. Adam sensed time was running out for him; Patrick was the most magnificent looking man at the university and someone would claim his heart again; sooner rather than later.
*****
Patrick sighed inwardly; knowing there was something building within Adam. Of all people, Adam had been titchy for a week or so now, which was most unlike him. Adam had the most placid, lovely nature and yet there had been a sense of tension between them that had never been there before. Patrick pursed his lips; he thought he knew what the problem was; one very similar to his own. The tension was sexual tension; no doubt about it, and it applied to both of them. His eyes grew just a little damp; he knew he had to bring everything to a head, tell Adam where his head was at and how he felt for him. He now realised he had crossed the fine line between like and love and that the stakes were high. Be honest and take the risk of losing a friend, or just bounce along the bottom doing nothing? There was no choice; he had to talk to Adam because somewhere there, in the background, was a feeling that wouldn’t go away; that just maybe Adam felt the same way about him. All the evidence was there; they had become even closer than before the winter layoff and Adam was now exhibiting all the tendencies of a full-time partner.
*****
So it came as no surprise that when Adam cornered him on the Friday morning; he started by apologising profusely; that he had to go down to the farm on some really private family business; and would he mind terribly if Patrick didn’t come with him? Patrick made it easy for him; he couldn’t visit his mum because she was on holiday, but he had a ripper book and he could do with the rest. Adam nodded, but with a note of anxiety in his voice. “You sure you’ll be OK then?” Patrick nearly laughed out loud ------ this was his Adam at his finest; no one else mattered to him but Patrick Benson, plain and simple!
“Of course I’ll be OK darling,” he said, and it was out of his mouth before he could take it back. So he decided to give Adam something to think about. “Do the family thing,” he said, “and then get yourself back here as soon as possible, because I’ll be waiting with a nice surprise!” Adam’s mouth fell open; not knowing how to handle the conversation or even interpret Patrick’s remarks. “Ads,” he said. “I realise you’ve got some issues you have to work through; just relax, drive carefully and take your time. Give my love to everyone. I’ll still be here when you get back; I’m not going anywhere now or in the future that you wouldn’t approve of.” He sighed, and then kissed Adam fully on the lips. “I’ll miss you even though you’re only away tonight and Saturday night.”