Chapter Twenty-one
By the time we were finally out of the Sequoia National Forest, our air conditioner wasn't working at all, and with that in mind, we were making a beeline for the coast with that evening's destination being Morro Bay State Park. After we could get online again, we'd looked it up, and the average August high in the town of Morro Bay is only 66. (Average low is 53, with the all-time record low for the month being 40, so we were wondering if the heater still worked...)
But whether it did or not, it was on to the Pacific! We'd follow the coast all the way to Washington that was our new plan - but...
About twenty miles short of Bakersfield, the car's front end started vibrating violently.
It could have been worse, though. We could have dropped the u-joint on the highway, but as it was, it didn't fall off until we were coasting to a stop off on the shoulder. Then we abruptly stopped coasting.
We should have known that there was a flaw in our plans. Elliott's car was twenty-five years old, so planning a trip of over 3000 miles just wasn't very practical. Still, though, you would think that one of us would have thought of installing a GPS. Calling a tow truck wouldn't have been a problem then. Just punch in roadside assistance and there would have been several numbers we could call in Bakersfield...
`Course, we also needed to find another pet friendly motel... and then I needed to call my mom so she could arrange things... and we'd need a taxi... which would also have to be pet friendly... and it would be better if all of us could be taken out of the heat to a nice air-conditioned motel at once...
But as it was, our only option seemed to be the emergency roadside service that came with Elliott's car insurance. In spite of everything, help would eventually be on its way. Once the service representative at the call center in India stopped putting Elliott on hold.
Shit! he said after the third time, I don't think he even knows where we are yet. Want to know how long it took when I locked myself out of my car in Greensboro?
Then before any of us could say that we were afraid to ask: More than two and a half hours!
And to think, that previous time was without any of our extenuating circumstances, so it wasn't looking good, but then came the Miracle of Saint Gertrude of Nivelles, the patron saint of cats and those who love them. (And she's also the patron of travelers in search of lodging.) Not that we'd invoked any prayers... personally, I was thinking about us just calling 9-1-1...
Still, though, I think I can at least go with the Miracle of Alexander and Squeak. We'd saved them from certain death, so they repaid us the next day by looking pitiful and not trying to claw us. Even if Alexander was probably thinking about it some. Clawing Stephan, I mean, but the guy who stopped in his Cadillac SRX was telling us later that he would have only stopped to tell us that he could be back with his tow truck in about forty-five minutes if we needed a tow, but he wouldn't have thought about first giving all of us a ride to his place in Bakersfield, if not for our cats...
So there you go, because if our positions had been reversed I wouldn't have given five boys I didn't know a ride either. We hardly looked like juvenile delinquents, but boys our age are sometimes up to no good, whether they look the part or not. So it was just him and his son who looked anything but menacing... except perhaps for the Eat the rich tee shirt he was wearing but still, there were five of us, so I can't blame him for being cautious at first. Even my mom's that way, and she's always looking for a chance to be a Good Samaritan. I think she feels guilty about being rich, that's what I think... even if there are times when I'm that way too... sort of...
Well, at least within reason. Meaning not always, which is why I wasn't mentioning how much in Traveler's Checks and cash I had at my disposal, because there are some tow truck operators and mechanics who will take you for everything you're worth. For all I knew, that's why he was driving a Cadillac.
But anyway. Ian the Good Samaritan and Seth his 15-year-old son, who I guessed was either trying to be an Emo or a Goth were on their way back to Bakersfield from Lake Isabella.
The SRX had three seats, so if it had only been the seven of us, there would have been room enough. But we couldn't very well leave our stuff in Elliott's car, so after the third seat had been folded down and all of our stuff was piled in, there were only two seats, which is why Carlie, Earl, Stephan and myself ended up squeezed together in the second seat with me sharing a seat belt with Stephan, and Elliott ended up in front sharing a seat belt with Seth.
So this hardly bears mentioning, but we certainly weren't going to let on about being gay. For all we knew, Ian could have been a religious type, so no. Often enough, the religious are prone to acts of kindness, but they've also been known to rescind those acts. So we four in back seat weren't letting on. Putting myself in Elliott's place, though...
Well, I'm just trying to be objective, but Seth was good looking almost to the point of being beautiful. He could have passed for a girl without much trouble at all. A flat-chested one, sure, but still, he was one of those boys you notice almost immediately. Especially if you're gay. And not only that, Elliott had been showing some signs of frustration. So I was a little worried.
Only he was too, so for most of the trip he stared straight ahead while keeping his hands clutched across his lap. (And Seth was mostly staring straight ahead as well. And both of them seemed to be blushing quite a bit), but...
We had no way of knowing what might have been going through their heads, so let's move on to introducing ourselves. Except Stephan ended up doing most of the talking, so that left the rest of us just trying to keep track of everything he'd said.
Obviously, Stephan and I didn't want them to know about our dads. If they weren't overly fond of Wall Street types which seemed to be a safe assumption - then we didn't want them to know that we'd benefited from their greed and that neither of us had gotten around to taking a vow of poverty yet. Nor were we thinking about it. There's no point in being dishonest.
Or, at least I can be honest about that much, because before Stephan started, I was thinking about saying my mom was in real estate. Or had been, which was why she was moving to Seattle. Where she was going back to school. At the University of Washington. Real estate is not the business to be in now, and that's especially true in most of California, which is why I was guessing Ian would be able to relate and probably feel some more empathy for us.
Beyond that, though... well, I was still thinking, but before I could start, Stephan introduced us as half-brothers from New York. That much was all right.
Only, then we had our house condemned. In Brooklyn. (???)
Eminent domain and all that. So while our mom could move in with her parents again, we couldn't, because there wasn't enough room, so that's why we ended up spending the summer with our cousins in North Dakota.
Only now our mom had a job lined up in Seattle. (Fortunately, he didn't have her mopping floors, because if it had been something like that, I don't think I could have kept a straight face any longer.)
But anyway. We met Elliott when his car broke down right outside of Oxmar, and after we fixed it - or, at least we thought we had... he was on his way to British Columbia anyway, so why not?
Except we went to Vegas first so Carlie could visit his mom, so that's how we ended up outside of Bakersfield.
Then after a pause, Ian mused, Well, it's getting bad all over, but... (he looked over at Elliott)... let me get this straight. You're on your way to British Columbia?
Yes sir, replied Elliott hesitantly. Then he looked earnestly over at Ian even if he was looking at Seth again...
But in spite of that, I never really got along with my father, he continued, and the past year or so, it's only gotten worse. A few times, he's threatened to kick me out. I know I'm not perfect, but it's mostly just little things that's he's always getting upset over. So I had a job bagging groceries. It wasn't much, but at least I could buy that car, and I'd saved some, so I decided to start fresh in Vancouver. I'm pretty sure I can find a job of some kind, because... well, because I met someone on-line and I mentioned... hoping to get a job... so I guess if it doesn't end up costing too much to get my car fixed, that's where I'm headed.
I see, said Ian. Then, If you don't mind me asking, how old are you, son?
Eighteen. Since May.
Ian quickly glanced over, sort of squinted one eye and then, And you have your passport?
Yes sir. I don't know how long I'll have to live there before I can think about going on to college... I know I should, but... well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
I didn't know if he was adding the college bit for Ian's benefit or not because he'd never mentioned it before but Ian asked,Any ideas on what you'd like to major in?
Elliott sighed. I'm not sure. The way the job market is now, maybe engineering. My guidance counselor suggested accounting, but I don't think I'd be happy in that line of work, no matter how good the pay might be. To be honest, though... it's like I said, I haven't made my mind up yet.
So we'd just been reintroduced to his more serious side, and really, most adults seem to appreciate teenagers who are. I didn't know if he'd slipped up when he'd mentioned meeting someone on-line, but at least he hadn't mentioned that person's gender. And fortunately, he was wearing long pants that day. If he'd been in shorts, his lack of hair on his legs probably would have caused Ian to doubt his age even more than he apparently did... what with that quizzical squint...
But I still wouldn't have believed that it could end up as well as it did, because Elliott's saying that being happy was more important than making lots of money struck an important chord.
It did, because Ian had been caught up in the rat race as well. I'm not sure what a corporate compliance director does except that it doesn't sound like a job I'd want... probably because of the word comply... except obviously, my dad wasn't concerned with complying with rules and regulations...
So okay, I really shouldn't go there. We have to have rules, else, it would be chaos. Even if I still think most of St. Ag's dress code rules were awfully close-minded. And they weren't much for freedom of expression, either.
But whatever, three years before he'd walked away from it all. At first, it was a leave of absence. He took it because his uncle who'd taken him in at fourteen - was dying. Only, once that leave was exhausted, he decided he wasn't going back, because the more he thought about it, the more appealing a slower pace of life was. In fact, it became the most important thing, thus explaining how he became one of the most highly educated tow truck operators ever!
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Being a Good Samaritan is one thing, but I'm fairly sure Ian still wasn't thinking about letting us stay in his basement. I don't think that offer would have been made, if not for Elliott showing his idealistic side, which led to him asking the rest of us about our ambitions, so...
Earl still wanted to be a librarian.
Carlie's goal was to make it big in NASCAR. As a driver, of course.
Stephan still thought he'd like to be a doctor, even if he hadn't decided what his specialty would be. (Then recalling that he'd just placed our mom close to the poverty level, he added that he was hoping to get a scholarship so he could go to college.)
And as for me: I was hoping to earn a scholarship as well, and after that, I guessed I'd be a history teacher. Just that, nothing about specializing in Bulgarian Studies.
But Ian seemed to be suitably impressed. Even if he seemed to be more interested in Carlie's ambition, but that was because when he was in his teens, he'd had similar dreams, which led to him telling us about the `84 Hurst Olds he'd once terrorized the town he'd lived in with... which then led to Carlie telling him about his Hemi Plymouth... which soon led to talk about about cams, carbs, shifters, lifters and a bunch of other car stuff...
Except as far as I, along with Stephan, probably Elliott and possibly Seth were concerned, they might as well have been talking in a foreign language.
So there will be no more of that in this story.
Except for Elliott's crippled station wagon, of course. It has to be discussed some more.
First things first, though. All that car talk led to Ian talking about other dreams he'd once had, which then led to him saying that he hoped we could enjoy being teenagers a little longer, with that last bit coming as he was pulling into their driveway.
Then he looked back at Stephan and our cats, and asked, One question. Your cats giving any problems?
So far, they've been okay, said Stephan, they must be housebroke, because if they need to do anything, they let us know.
Then he added, We rescued them yesterday from the side of the Interstate.
Most wouldn't have bothered, said Ian.
Well, we had to, said Earl.
Then came the big surprise. I mean, Stephan said he already had an inkling, and I was sort of wondering, but still...
Well, there aren't many places to camp out in Bakersfield, but if you'd like, you're welcome to stay in our basement. For however long it takes to get your car on the road again. You guys okay with that?
Then we were stumbling all over ourselves trying to thank him... even if that meant that we'd be forgoing sex for how ever long it took...
But at least we didn't need to worry about our cats.
I just hoped my mom liked them.
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Ian and Seth Deffenbaugh lived in a ranch-style house on the edge of town. They seemed to be in the comfortable middle-class category, but at first that was all I could figure out.
Not that it mattered, because even if they leaned towards the liberal side, we still weren't about to come out. What was the point?
Ian and Seth helped us stow our stuff downstairs. And that was also when we first heard Seth saying anything, even if it was limited to asking where we wanted it.
Then we went back upstairs and made small talk for awhile longer, but finally Ian asked Elliott if he was ready to go back for his car. With the tow truck, of course, and even though I didn't know why Elliott had to go with him, that left Seth to entertain the rest of us.
So trying to put myself in his place, if my mom ever invited four boys I didn't know in from off the street and then left me to entertain them, I wouldn't know where to start. Truth is, I'd probably want one of them to start...
I made a wry face, and stammered, I guess... well, this is kind of awkward, huh? I mean, it's... well, it's not like we want to put you out... or anything... but... um... well, you like music... or anything?
Then I trailed off and started blushing. Probably, but Seth shrugged, and, We're all feeling awkward. But what you have to understand is... well, I suppose the best way of describing myself is introverted, okay? I don't mean to be, but I am.
First time I met Natty, I couldn't think of anything to say to him either, offered Earl, Carlie just threw us together... like: `Natty, this is Earl,' and `Earl, this is Natty and he can help you with the boat,' and I was... well, you know, like: excuse me?
He was still Nathaniel then, corrected Carlie.
Well, at first, me and Stephan couldn't think of much to say to Earl either, I added quickly.
So Earl quickly corrected that part as well. Yeah, well, Carlie didn't say anything about Stephan at first because he wasn't even out there because he wouldn't even get out of bed!
Because I didn't want to, explained Stephan. But still, it occurred to him that no matter what his intentions were, his web of deceit was on the verge of ensnaring us, so he changed the subject by asking Seth, But anyway, what kind of music do you like? We have a little bit of everything.
That's when Seth completely forgot about being an introvert, because : Nobody could possibly have so much as a teensy weensy little bit of everything! But out of curiosity, name some groups. That you really like.
Only, I've already mentioned more than a few, so beyond saying that he liked most of our stuff, there's not much point in repeating it.
But then on the other hand, he reintroduced us to Goth. Until then, Stephan and I thought it was all doom and gloom, but still, I'll not mention what else we added to our play list until the end of this chapter, when it'll be another postscript, which can be ignored.
Even if I'm hoping that it isn't. Because it's Goth that rocks. So there. But...
One number from our play list Will You Love Me Tomorrow by The Shondes - has to be mentioned again, because it proved to be the catalyst to more things sexual. Even if the four of us who were already happily partnered were only interested observers this time. For the most part, we were, but still, interested means that it's to be included in this story. It started a few seconds after the swelling crescendo finish when Seth casually remarked that if you thought about it, it was like a swelling... orgasm.
I'd never thought about it that way before, but if preoccupied with sex as almost all adolescent boys are, then...
Maybe, so we played it again, and from the 2:28 mark to 3:46 for a minute and eighteen seconds... unless you had a heart attack or something...
Because orgasms don't last for much longer than just a few spurts. Not that I've ever timed it, because I'm always a little preoccupied at that moment.
But it was still fun imagining, whether it was an unattainable goal or not. No matter what their orientation is, most teenaged boys are interested in ways of improving their orgasms, and more often than not, talking about them leads to wanting to have another. As in right away.
Not that anyone suggested it, because for starters, Ian and Elliott could be back at any moment.
But beyond that, we were guests, so we weren't about to. We'd only just met, after all. And as for Seth...
Well, I wasn't sure. I thought it was unusual to be bringing the subject up when he'd known us for less that an hour, but maybe to him it wasn't. Maybe he and Ian were very open about sex. Many Europeans are like that, I've heard. And he'd seemed fairly nonchalant about it, as though his getting an erection was no big deal. No pun intended, because it looked decent enough. Probably not in Elliott's class, but still...
There we were, sitting in a circle on the floor, getting to know one another.
Seth glanced down at himself, and: Oops!
Oops me too, said Earl.
Yeah, I thought so, said Carlie.
Like you should talk, Earl fired back.
Then Stephan giggled, and :Well, talking about orgasms, what do you expect?
Gee, thanks a lot, Stephan, I muttered.
Then, We're all excitable boys, concluded Seth.
I looked at him quizzically.
Warren Zevon, explained Seth. `Excitable Boy'?
Oh yeah. That. Warren Zevon. I'd heard of him. Even if...
Well, okay, he was a little before my time, I admitted.
We're set up for video down here, so I can pull it up off YouTube. That okay with everybody?
So when Ian and Elliott returned, we were watching TV, and even though four of us were still wondering, our excitable parts had all subsided.
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The station wagon had been towed to a repair shop on the other side of Bakersfield. Ian said he knew the owner and he was both reasonable and honest. Only, since it was late Saturday afternoon, he wouldn't be getting to it until Monday afternoon at the earliest, and that was only if jobs already scheduled didn't end up taking longer than expected. Meaning: best bet, sometime Tuesday. No telling how long it would take, though, so probably we should plan on resuming our road trip Wednesday morning.
We weren't sure if that was good news or not, but under the heading of it could have been a lot worse, Ian was fairly sure it was only the universal, and a new one could be had for under $50.
Oh, and he told Elliott not to worry about the tow bill.
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Seth introduced us to Goth music that rocks, and then once his dad was back for the night, he introduced us to Canasta. Turned out, he and his dad were very much into old retro games.
So once the rules were explained, it wasn't long until we were all into it. We were playing as three teams, so you can berate your partner and accuse the other two teams of ganging up, and... it's fun.
I was with Stephan and Carlie and Earl were a team, so naturally, that left Elliott with Seth.
I wasn't sure, but it seemed as though there was some chemistry developing between them.
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So. If Seth had an open attitude towards sex, then possibly this was something that Elliott should explore. That's what I was telling him later, after Ian and Seth had called it a night and gone back upstairs. Nothing major, but still, you can't ever tell. Overall, Seth was probably straight, but we adolescents are bisexual creatures. In the U.S., there's often that stigma attached, so lots of boys aren't going to consider having any kind of sex with another boy, but more and more, I was getting the impression that Seth wasn't like that.
But Elliott was trying to be a realist - for a change - so he brought up the nine out of ten bit again. As in nine out of ten supposedly aren't gay, so with five of us who were, it seemed logical that Seth wouldn't be.
Even if that's faulty reasoning. If you flip a coin and it comes up heads five straight times, it's improbable, but in spite of that, the odds on it coming up heads on the next flip should still be 50/50, and if my theory about all of us being bisexual is even close to being true, then you also have to figure that most adolescents can go either way. Or in other words, the mean is 50/50. I mean, duh!
And not only that, if the No H8 bumper sticker on the back of Ian's SRX meant what Stephan thought, they weren't likely to think badly of us even if they knew we were completely gay.
So about that bumper sticker. At first, I'd taken it to be one of those Kumbaya-type messages, but Stephan had noticed it too, and the more he thought about, the more he was thinking that it probably had everything to do with California's Proposition 8, and if that was the case, then obviously Ian had been against it... except to be honest, I still wasn't clear on all the issues, so after I managed to get my computer back from Elliott, I started investigating.
Right after he played the Stunning rendition of Last Exit For The Lost by Fields of the Nephilim from the Visionary Heads tour,one more time. Then he'd give it a rest for awhile and I could have my laptop back. Just once more, okay?
So once we could stop sniggering after his commentary on his last time for the night...
Well, okay, I'll explain that too then. It's a live version that runs for close to ten and a half minutes, with the the first six and a half being like a slowly developing ghost story. It could be taken that way easily enough, except Elliott kept saying stuff like, They're still looking for that exit. They ain't found it yet What with all those fog machines, it's no damn wonder... but they're still looking... nope, don't guess that's it either...
But then, at the 6:30 mark, They have found it!
And honestly, those last four minutes... oh, wow. If you're in the right mood, then it is electrifying!
But if you're not and never will be, then I don't suppose...
Well, back to No H8, then. That's what I entered in the search box, and that quickly led to a No H8 gifts, t-shirts and clothing site which answered all our questions except for whether or not Ian and Seth were Straight and against H8 or not straight and against it. Not that it really mattered, but we were curious. Just a little.
Sunday, August 3rd Part One
Ian said they slept in on Sunday mornings, so we were thinking that meant until around eleven.
Squeak and Alexander had other ideas, though. It wasn't even nine, but they were wanting to be fed!
Even if, to be fair, they probably wouldn't have bothered us if I hadn't gotten up to pee. There was a small bath in the basement, so I'd take care of it, then back into the sleeping bag with Stephan for another hour or so.
That's what I was thinking, but as I was quietly making my way to the bathroom I noticed the cats were looking at me intently. I hoped not expectantly, but...
It took me a minute or so to finish peeing, because my morning boner wasn't flagging very much. I was thinking about snuggling up close to Stephan for awhile longer, so of course it wasn't.
But soon as I walked back out, the cats were curling themselves around my feet and meowing.
It's not time yet, I hissed, in a little while!
Only they kept trying to get under my feet and meowing.
Well, it was time they learned to be patient.
Even if by their very nature, cats aren't patient, and Squeak and Alexander are two of the most impatient...
Well, shit. If I could remember where we'd put their food, I'd feed them. Stupid cats...
But the problem was, with the curtains drawn, there wasn't much light.
Then Stephan asked sleepily, Whatcha doing, Natty?
I'm trying to find the cat food! I hissed.
It's under that thing, Stephan said sleepily.
That wasn't very helpful. Under what thing?
Um... well, hold on a sec, and with that, he crawled out of our sleeping bag, switched the lights on, and started looking for the cat's sliced chicken dinners. I think we put it... well, now, I'm not sure... and then he was on his hands and knees, looking under a cabinet. Almost directly in front of me.
So that was exciting. There's no use in pretending otherwise, because like me, he hadn't bothered pulling his boxers back on. They were near the foot of our sleeping bag, so they were a little hard to get to. Still, though...
When the cat food didn't turn up underneath that cabinet, I guessed I should help him look for it. According to Stephan, we'd left it under something, so there I was on my hands and knees and Stephan was still crawling around on his when Carlie and Earl yelled sleepily - Cut that light out!
Soon as we find the cat food, replied Stephan cheerfully.
Then he added, One of you wouldn't happen to remember where we left it, would you?
It's on top of that thing! replied Earl. He sounded kind of irritable, but still, that explained it. It wasn't under a thing, it was on top of...
On top of what thing? I was getting exasperated.
As were the cats.
Oh... I'll get it myself! said Earl impatiently, and with that, three of us were out of our sleeping bags and stark naked, because Earl and Carlie hadn't bothered packing any underwear in the first place.
I gotta pee, mumbled Carlie. Four!
Not that this would have been worthy of an exclamation point under normal circumstances, because we'd been seeing each other naked and often with erections for more than a month, so we were used to it. And besides, we were only sporting our usual waking-up boners, so normally...
Jesus! groaned Elliott, and with that, he threw off his cover and blearily sat up. (He'd been sleeping on a couch.) But now five of us were naked with our just-getting-awake erections, and that's when Seth opened the door at the top of the stairs and started, Hey, if you're up already... Sorry. I guess I should have... um... well... knocked, but um...
Then my ears started ringing again.
Sunday, August 3rd Part Two
I hadn't experienced any ringing in my ears since that first time with Earl, when he asked if I was gay or not. When he was rubbing on my butt, so it seems strange that I'd be the one having a near-panic attack, but I think it had to do with outing myself for the first time. Playing around is one thing, but aside from my mom, I'd never admitted to anyone that I was really and truly gay, so it was a little scary. Especially since I didn't really know Earl then. Stephan, Carlie and Elliott were different... for different reasons... except I've already discussed all that, so back to Seth.
We weren't having sex when he opened the door, but it still had to look strange, so I was trying to think of some way of explaining without giving too much else away...
So I was getting absolutely nowhere when Stephan stood up and explained, Sorry we're not dressed, but the cats are wanting to be fed now, except we're having some trouble finding their food.
Then he added, We always sleep naked, because we're almost naturists anyway. He just had to add that.
Me? My first thought was to stay where I was - on my hands and knees - but it occurred to me that that would only make everything look stranger still, so I slowly stood up, glanced back over my shoulder at Seth - who also seemed to be shocked... understandably, I guessed...
But I shrugged, gave him the best wry grin I could come up with and managed, Yeah, sorry. We just couldn't find the cat's food, but... we... well, we figured you were sleeping in late.
Meanwhile, Earl seemed to be frozen, even if his boner was still in plain view.
Carlie had zipped into the bathroom, though.
Elliott quickly covered himself, but he still looked embarrassed.
So after stammering out that apology about not knocking, I would have thought Seth would soon be making a hasty exit, whether it was graceful or not. That's what I would have been thinking about... even if I hadn't ever been in his place before, but...
I always sleep naked too, he said conversationally.
Conversationally. As in: Thanks to Stephan's quick thinking, we're about to have a cross-cultural exchange here. Most of the time, you can't have an exchange like that without it taking awhile, and we're still naked! Shit!
Fortunately, though, he finished with, But I was about to ask if any of you are interested in breakfast at Denny's. Dad's paying... it's not that much, really, but if you are, then we'll be leaving in about thirty minutes.
So now it was our turn to look quizzically at him. I'm sure I was, and I'm fairly sure everybody else was as well.
And apparently, he interpreted our questioning looks, because: If you're worried, there's no need to be. Dad probably wouldn't care one way or the other, but if none of you say anything about me barging in the way I did, there's no point in my saying anything about it either.
Then after a pause, I really can't complain, but we still need to have our secrets, right? Well, dad will be out for most of this afternoon, so... naturists? Sounds interesting.
Then he gave us what I interpreted as a tentative grin, shrugged... sort of enigmatically, I thought... or at least it looked as though he was trying to be...
But I was starting to wonder.
Sunday, August 3rd Part Three
The biggest problem with conflicting emotions is trying to sort them all out, and that's just mine! Truth is, I still haven't. Except for being awfully embarrassed at first, and I was still dealing with that after Seth finally left us in peace so we could get our clothes on. Even if I was starting to wonder about him.
But it wasn't long until I was mostly just wondering about Elliott, and in his case, it was whether or not he was about to cut all ties with the rest of us, because he was pissed!
God damn it! he hissed, He saw everything!
So? He saw me, and I wasn't too happy about it either, replied Earl. Once again, he sounded almost nonchalant.
Well, that's easy for you to say! hissed Elliott, Why I ever let you two talk me into keeping it shaved smooth, I'll never know, because I already asked Markus about it, and if he thinks I'd look weird, then I bet Seth's laughing his ass off right now-
Then Carlie cut in with, If he's doing that, then why's he acting like he wants to get naked with us?
Because he wants to get a better look! Elliott hissed.
So I started, Well, if that's the case, then-
And that's as far as I got, because Elliott cut me off with, You don't know half as much as you think you do, Natty, but if you'll excuse me, I'm going to beat off now. It shouldn't take long, and with that, he stormed off to the bathroom.
So I looked at the two who'd talked Elliott into keeping himself shaved smooth and whispered, What was that all about?
Earl cleared his throat, then glanced at Carlie and in a low voice: Wait here for Elliott until he's out of the shower and dressed. We'll be waiting outside, all right?
Carlie grinned. You're planning on something, aren't you? You're going to try talking them (me and Stephan. obviously) into doing it for us, aren't you?
Maybe, replied Earl.
So soon as we were out in the driveway after Earl told Ian we'd be outside waiting and that Carlie and Elliott would be ready to go in a few minutes I tried to get directly to the point with, Okay, what?
Well, the problem is, we don't know if it'll work, Earl started. Me and Carlie... but it might, because I don't know if either of you have noticed, but we think Seth's interested in Elliott.
Then Stephan started to say something, but before he could get past um, Earl rushed on with, And we think Elliott's interested in Seth too. It's the way they're always sneaking looks at each other and how they always seem to end up paired together, and-
Well, that's because we're always paired together, I interrupted.
I know that, started Earl again, but my first question is: even after the car's fixed this time, do you really think it's going to last much longer? After driving it all the way to Vancouver? It might not even make it that far, but one time Elliott told us something. He said if it wasn't for him having a car and an unrestricted driver's license, he didn't think Markus would be as interested, so just by him saying that much... I mean, you like Elliott, right? You don't want to see him ending up being like stranded up there, right?
Well, no, of course not, said Stephan, and from him saying he has no place else to go... well, we hope it doesn't end up that way, but you just mentioned Seth, except we're only here until the car's fixed, so... what are you getting at?
We could always decide to camp out not too far from here for the rest of our trip different places... maybe, but I'm betting Ian would say it's a good idea. Because Carlie and me: when it's time for us to go back home, we can fly from here as easy as we can from Seattle, right?
Well, probably not from Bakersfield, but if John books your tickets from say... LAX, it might end up being even cheaper, I admitted.
Cool!' said Earl, then he continued, And your mom... well, I was about to say she'd take care of your ticket to Seattle, but what about Stephan?
If we have to, we can go by bus, said Stephan, but what does that have to do with-
Then Earl cut back in with, You two need to find out if Seth's really interested in Elliott, and-
So now it was my turn to interrupt. Going by bus was one thing, but... Excuse me? We're supposed to ask-
Well, first, you need to find out if he's the least bit gay, Earl interrupted again.
Needless to say, though, I thought even less of that idea. So we're supposed to... `Oh, by the way, Seth, are you gay?' I really don't think so.
But then, I have an idea! exclaimed Stephan. He can get more ideas than anybody...
I'm almost afraid to ask, Stephan, but what? Just out of morbid curiosity, how can we possibly ask-
So by now, it seems almost pointless to mention that he interrupted me again... except that he did. First, we need it to be just us and him. Doesn't need to be for long, but anyway, we don't ask directly, we could just ask him what No H8 means. Like we have no idea, and see, the way he answers could give us a good idea on where he stands, you know?
Yeah, but-
Well, I tried, but, And then he might ask where we stand, Stephan continued excitedly. So Natty and myself... at first, we'll just say we're cool with it, that it doesn't matter to us if a person's gay or not, so see, we'd be against H8 too... and if it's okay with you and Carlie, we'll say that you two feel pretty much the same way-
Then, my turn again. If Seth's the least bit gay, then we might, but so what? I mean, what are we supposed to say about Elliott?
If he's driving us all over the country, then I'm betting Seth will be figuring he's at least bi, Earl pointed out, and even if that's all he is too you know, Seth - if they're in the same tent, something's gonna happen. Just about bet anything.
By then, I felt like I was swimming against the tide, but still Well, the problem with all that is the way Elliott's acting now, he'll be trying to avoid Seth as much as he can because he's embarrassed. So he's not likely be sending out any signals or at least not any positive ones, so... it's not like we're supposed to be like Cupid here... I mean, I just don't see how...
Then I trailed off and shrugged hopelessly.
And it really was hopeless, because Earl came back with, Well, this might sound weird, but by now, me and Carlie think that sometimes, Elliott gets off on being humiliated. Not like it was at the fertilizer plant, because that was for real, but if it's a game... sort of... well, did you notice how hard he was when he was heading for the bathroom? And he told us what he was going to do. He told us! So if you can find out if Seth's interested... and I bet he is, because this morning, before Elliott covered himself up, his eyes were about to pop out... that's what it looked like to me... but what I'm getting at is, if there's any way of you two finding out if Seth's interested, then we'll talk Elliott into it. One way or another, we will.
Into what? By then, I was totally confused.
Well, Seth said something about all of us being naturists... so once we are, Elliott's not going to be embarrassed, so from then on, it's all up to them. Right?
Believe it or not, though, I was starting to think that it might work. Just the way we planned it.
Next chapter: Sunday, August 3rd Part Four... and beyond.
Oh, and in addition to the last four minutes ofLast Exit For the Lost, five more additions to our play list.
To Believe In Something - The Eden House.
Body Electric - The Sisters of Mercy.
Light My Way - NFD.
Train of Hope - Red Lorry Yellow Lorry.
Cry Little Sister - Gerard McMann.
Now. Was that really so bad?