Chapter Nineteen
My first surprise Monday came at the bank. I hadn't said how much I needed, because I wasn't sure. It's not like I'd ever paid for gas, nor had I ever worried about meal money beyond a day, but at best I was guessing my mom would send maybe five hundred.
She sent a thousand. So even if from Vegas to Seattle and then on to Vancouver ended up being three thousand miles instead of 1300, Elliott got around 20 mpg, so at... say, $2.50 a gallon... except we'd heard that it was higher on the West Coast... but even at $3 a gallon, it would still only be around $450. And we'd be camping out a lot, so that mostly left just food to worry about, and Carlie and Earl were assuring us that they could cook all sorts of things over a camp fire... even if we'd be wanting some fast food every now and then, but still, with $1000 along with what we already had...
“I think we're in fairly decent shape here,” I said.
It sure seemed that way. Carlie already had camping equipment, so all Stephan and I needed in addition was a two man tent and we found one at Walmart. Supposedly, even an idiot could put it up in about ninety seconds. (Elliott had a sleeping bag and he said the cargo area of his Chevy Cavalier was comfortable enough.)
Well, all right, we also needed an extra large sleeping bag. We ended up with two, in case we ever discovered that we were trying to sleep on rocks.
Walmart didn't have any i-Kam video recording glasses, though. We'd seen them on-line the night before. They look just like sun glasses, but I could imagine all sorts of possibilities. So maybe I'd find some at an outfitting store in either in Salt Lake or Vegas.
Once we were back in Oxmar, the second surprise was finding the Squirrel Evictor, along with our rabbit ears and tails, on the front porch. The surprise wasn't that they'd arrived, it was the timing. We would have preferred them being delivered when no one else was around, because after going to the trouble of covering all the holes, Carlie and Earl wanted to see the Evictor in action. They weren't being nosy about the box with the ears and tails, but they did want to see what a 175,000 candle power, high-intensity strobe light pulsing 92 times a minute would be like, and once it was plugged in, we all agreed that it was bothersome.
Only the boxes with our rabbit costumes happened to be sitting close to the only electrical outlet up there, and not only that, one of our Franks had his head sticking out. We were such good planners, Stephan and I, but the thing was, we were expecting some resistance from Carlie and Elliott.
Well, Elliott was still downstairs because he'd had enough of the attic, so we still didn't know about him, but Carlie exclaimed, “Is that what I think it is? How many do you have? Are there enough for all of us?”
So he'd reacted very favorably, even if Earl's initial reaction wasn't so favorable, because he thought the Bugs Bunny costumes looked silly. Even if he really liked our Frank the Bunny costumes.
So the next surprise was how quickly we could be convinced to take turns. It really shouldn't have been, though, because what were we supposed to say? “Those Franks cost a lot more and we bought them just for ourselves?”
No, Stephan said, “Well, we'll take turns then. Everybody gets to be Frank for at least awhile, but... want to surprise Elliott? Me and Natty, we'll be Franks... just for now, all right? ... So that means you'll both be Bugs Bunnies... this time... So you want to?”
And one thing about a 175,000 candle power, high-intensity strobe light pulsing 92 times a minute is that you want to get away from it as soon as possible. Even with our backs turned, it was bothering us. So first Elliott saw our clothes being tossed down and naturally, he wondered what we were up to.
“You're about to find out,” said Carlie hurriedly, and about a minute later...
“Oh... my... God,” said Elliott. Then he started laughing.
Only then we gathered around him, with our fixed expressions, and after a moment, Earl tossed the third Bugs Bunny costume his way and in a muffled voice said, “That's yours.”
“The hell you say,” replied Elliott, but there were four of us and only one of him, so in no time at all he was naked from the neck down. His shorts were gone and his shirt was up over his head. Only that led to yet another surprise.
Elliott was stronger than he looked, and that combined with the material of Earl's jump suit being fairly flimsy and not exactly form fitting with a good deal of excess material in back led to a wedgie!
Problem was, though, the jump suit wasn't designed with wedgies in mind. RIPPPP, and disaster struck. Elliott shredded it.
But then not so surprisingly, he started apologizing. He kept saying that he hadn't meant to.
Except he already had, so Earl yanked what was left of his suit off, held it up in front of him, then he yanked his head off and started glaring at Elliott.
“I didn't mean to,” said Elliott again, “I swear I didn't.”
So finally Earl said, “Well, it's all right, because I have something even better.”
Then he resolutely jammed his head back on and up the stairs he went. (So now the rest of us were thinking about how interesting it would be if he was dressed like a rabbit only from the neck up.)
But two of us, (Stephan and I), weren't thinking about wearing pink long johns. As long as our plush gray and white coveralls weren't subjected to wedgies, we were happy to stay just as we were. Even if, on the other hand, we liked Earl better in his pink long johns.
And besides, the long johns had a fly in front, which was a feature overlooked in the case of our rabbit suits. Theirs and ours, but we weren't planning on wearing our suits for hours on end anyway, and if one of us needed to pee, well, we'd just jerk the suit off, tell Elliott to stop and we'd open the door and do it. Depending on where we were, of course, because if necessary we could quickly put on some regular clothes...
But back to Earl. He came bouncing back downstairs wearing those pink long johns along with his original floppy rabbit ears and announced, “If I had a tail, I'd be back in business again!”
So no problem.
For the record, though, neither Earl or Carlie were thinking about wearing pink long johns and rabbit ears until they saw our costumes. And to further explain, the reason Earl had four pairs was because his grandpa forgot about mixing colors in the wash. It happened about a year before, so that explained the tight fits. Carlie's were especially tight. But when we finally talked Elliott into a pair...
Well, it was a sight. But the question is: how did we talk him into it?
First, as we were still adjusting to their long johns, Carlie remarked to Elliott, “You need to shave yourself again. You're getting stubbly. Just barely, but you are.”
So Elliott blushed, but replied, “It irritates my skin. I think some places aren't meant to be shaved.”
Carlie was unmoved. “You promised you would. Until we get to Seattle. ... And besides, in a day or two it'll be even more stubbly, and it'll start itching, I bet.”
Then he explained, “We're making him do it.”
“Only because I'm letting you,” started Elliott.
“But Bag Balm would help, I bet.” Carlie's voice was sounding a little funny and I also noticed that he was getting hard again.
Probably because of what he added right after that. “We'll all spread it on. So all you have to do is get on the quilt, lay back and enjoy it. ... But first, we'll shave you again, all right?”
Elliott looked very, very doubtful, and after a pause: “I think...” (then he started blushing even more than before, but finished), “I'd feel a lot safer if I do the shaving part myself,” and, hurriedly, he was gone. Upstairs, to touch himself up I guessed, but he'd popped one too!
So I'm not sure if this qualifies as an universal truth or not, but with kinkiness once again in the air, the rest of us started getting hard as well. It's contagious.
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I suppose when you get down to it, Carlie and Elliott's behavior was kinky only because they thought it was. At first, I thought the idea of shaving your pubes off was weird, too, but I was soon used to it. Different strokes for different folks and all that, so as long as it was him and not me or Stephan... and I'd definitely hate to see Carlie or Earl without theirs, (Earl probably had in the neighborhood of ten hairs by then)... but in Elliott's case, I guessed it wasn't so kinky after all. Except apparently he still thought it was, so keeping himself that way because Carlie and Earl wanted him to seemed strange, and admitting as much seemed to make it even stranger, and beyond that, Carlie wanting to shave Elliott's personal places was...
Well, actually, I was thinking it sounded interesting. I mean, who was I to cast the first stone? Didn't I let Carlie and Earl tie me up, spread-eagled and naked? I did. And I popped a boner, so obviously I thought it was gloriously wicked... and kinky...
Even if I'd like to point out that if I'd had an orgasm right after they left me that way, I would have kept it myself, and if you think about it long enough, that's interesting as well. It would have been perfectly all right for them to give me one – I was rather expecting it, in fact – but I couldn't possibly admit to being so excited I had one without even touching it. And I didn't – by the way – but had that been the case, then why would I want to keep it a secret?
It's hard to say, really. I'm still working on it.
But whatever, when Elliott came back downstairs after touching himself up he didn't have a hint of an erection, which could have meant...
Well, I wasn't going to ask. I didn't know if Carlie or Earl were or not, but if they were, they never got around to it because Elliott blushed and stammered, “I... lost it. I was trying to get it in the right position and there it went, just like that.”
So at first none of us less sophisticated perverts knew how to respond to that. Not even Carlie, even if a little later, once Elliott was on the quilt letting us to rub that goop everywhere – all four of us at the same time, and I do mean everywhere - he asked, “So... you just pointed it... what direction did you point it, Elliott?”
By then he was squirming and wiggling and purring, but he managed, “I had it... oh... I had it... oooh! ... pointed away from me.”
Earl looked shocked. “You squirted... on my wall?”
So we had to continue our enhanced interrogation for awhile longer, and before it was over, we'd decided that in the near future we'd like to be subjected to some of that as well. (Elliott just did it on the floor though. In the bathroom.) (And showing remarkable regenerative power, he did it again before we were finished with him. It was a bit subdued, but he still did.)
But that's how we talked Elliott into a pair of pink long johns. If you want the Bag Balm to soothe your irritated skin, it has to be left on for awhile. All night, for instance. So you need to put a bandage of some sort over it, else you'll be messing up the car seat. Except we didn't have a bandage that big – not exactly – so those long johns did just as well.
At first,t he kept taking his rabbit ears off, though. But he finally had to agree that there was no reason for it, because even when we were passing or being passed by semis, the driver couldn't see much of anything inside our car. And besides, in the middle of the night on I-94 in Montana, there's not much traffic anyway.
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That was another surprise, leaving that evening, but Carlie said if we wanted to get a campsite in Yellowstone, we needed to be there by early in the morning. If we showed up in the afternoon, then we could almost forget about it. So this is funny in a way, but when we left, I felt a little nostalgic. I'd only been there a month, but Oxmar had started feeling like home. John said I was welcome any time I wanted to visit, though, so it wasn't long until I was very much into our new adventure...
… Starting only a few miles further when we reached the Montana state line. We still had some daylight left, so we decided it was time for some performance art. We changed into our rabbit costumes in the car – except for Elliott, who was still being stubborn, but at least he'd gotten back down to the pink long johns he was wearing underneath his jeans. He was afraid the Bag Balm would be getting his jeans all gooky if he kept them on much longer.
So fine, then. He could be our camera man. Because we did want a record of Carlie, Earl, Stephan and myself posing in front of the “Welcome To Montana” sign. Carlie and Earl in our Frank the Bunny suits, Stephan and I wearing the Bugs Bunny heads and burgundy choir robes. We had two of those cheap Bugs Bunny suits left, and we'd decided to take turns being wedgied in them. Eventually. Me, Stephan, Carlie, Earl again and Elliott if we could talk him into it. (We hadn't mentioned it to him yet.) (And of course, there was the possibility that we'd only manage one wedgie per suit, but we really hoped we could manage at least five before both suits were shredded.)
Anyway – back at the state line – the four of us ran to the Montana sign and acted kind of crazy underneath it, then we zipped across the highway to in front of the “Welcome To North Dakota – Discover The Spirit” sign and acted crazy some more.
Only two cars passed, both heading west. The second was pulling a travel trailer and apparently the old man driving was quite taken by our performance, because about a hundred yards beyond us, he pulled over and got out with his camcorder. The lady – I'm assuming she was his wife – stayed inside, and near as I could tell, was afraid to look back. And I guess she was also telling her husband to please get back in the car, because after about a minute, he did, and they drove off.
So Elliott yelled, “Okay, show's over, so let's go!”
“We're not going anywhere until you run out here too!” yelled Carlie back.
“Yeah, I'll take over the camcorder,” I added. “It won't take but a minute.”
Only Elliott was still being stubborn. He wasn't about to. Not even when we ran back across the highway and started calling him a chicken.
“Well, all right then,” said Earl finally, “but I have to take a leak first. I'd wait until later on, but if you're going to keep acting that way, I will right out here,” and then, “Unzip my back, Carlie.”
So me and Stephan were getting nervous, especially after Carlie announced that he had to pee too. They were going to do it right under the “Welcome To Montana” sign.
Only Elliott still didn't believe they would. He should have known by the time the suits were down to their waists, and Stephan had reached: “Um... I really don't think this is a good idea...”
Then he trailed off as their suits dropped to their ankles. Then they stepped out of them because you can't run very fast otherwise. You'd almost certainly trip. But two cars had already passed by us, and even if we didn't see any more right at that moment...
But away they raced, butt naked except for their rabbit heads, and I could just see our road trip ending right then and there.
So I yelled frantically, “Elliott, will you please... let me have my camcorder. ... But just go, all right?”
Meanwhile, Carlie and Earl were running back and forth underneath “Welcome To Montana” while erratically pissing. I'd never tried to piss while running, and I wouldn't have thought it would be an easy thing to do, but Elliott finally came to his senses and with an “Oh shit!” away he went. Then once to the sign, he started yelling at Carlie and Earl. “Have you lost your minds?”
But the video was interesting, and we weren't arrested. Probably because there were no more cars until everybody was safely back inside. (For what it's worth, though, they insisted that if they'd heard a car coming, they would have flown back to our car like the wind, and at best, the approaching driver would have only thought that he or she was possibly seeing something strange up ahead... almost a mile away...)
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Once it got dark there wasn't a reason to stay in our suits, because unless we wanted to turn on the interior lights, no one could see inside. We could have been naked from the neck down, but no one would have known, not even the truckers in their tall cabs. Although we kept our heads on (or ears, in Elliott's case), and that might have caught someone's attention. Especially right after we passed by someone, because then they could see the silhouettes. It probably was startling.
Aside from that, though, it wouldn't be a good idea at all to get out in our rabbit suits at a rest stop and it would have been an even worse idea to stop for gas dressed that way. In the middle of the night, whoever was working inside the station would probably jump to some conclusions. Like, for example, that we were about to rob him. Why else would we be wearing masks? And not only that, he would probably think we were on drugs, so he'd probably start shooting. Five of us, one of him, bang, bang, not a problem. Except for us, of course.
So why didn't we think of that? Because we thought we were going to be traveling on lonely state highways, not on the stupid Interstate, that's why.
But oh well, we could always dress up later, when the conditions were more favorable. Probably after we left Las Vegas. We were going to spend most of Tuesday and Wednesday at Yellowstone and Grand Teton, then late Wednesday afternoon, we'd take U.S. 26 over to I-15 and probably be in Vegas by the next morning. Carlie would be visiting his mom, then Friday, after visiting Buffalo Bill's, we'd be in California and at that point we'd start taking roads less traveled.
Friday would also be July 31st,.though. The day before. Only it would start at midnight.
So that was the best reason of all for not getting ourselves arrested or shot or both prior to then, which is why when we reached the bridge over O'Fallon Creek (still on Highway 12), we decided it was time to help Elliott wash all that gook off so he could wear something besides long johns.
Only Bag Balm doesn't wash off that easy. It took awhile, and that creek was cold! So in the process of getting it all off, we gave him another awesome orgasm. He sure seemed to be having a lot of them, but we think this time it had to do with becoming painfully erect in that cold water. And I know – or at least, I think I do – that cold water isn't conducive to feeling horny, but I'm also thinking that he might have a streak of masochism, so if you combine that with us rubbing on his dick and poking his hole... with our fingers, and all under the guise of cleanliness... or ungookyness... eventually he could do nothing but explode.
So we were all becoming perverted.
Or possibly kinky.
Possibly, because we were erect as well. Once out of the water and dried off, we were. So... we raced back to the car, and Carlie and Earl took care of their needs and Stephan and I took care of ours, and then we were pooped out again, so we went to sleep for a couple of hours parked on the side of the road, and nobody bothered us. In North Dakota and Montana, it's not uncommon to see drivers pulled over to the side of the road getting a little sleep.
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But anyway, a little later that night, I finally got the rest of Earl's dressing up like a bunny rabbit-story, how it started in the first place. And since it's fairly short and because some might still be wondering about it...
Well, at first, I was just wondering if his original suit had a fly.
Well, it didn't, but the pants were separate from the rest of the costume, so if you needed to go, it wasn't a problem. Only, that led to... “So okay, I have another question, then. Because until I found out I'd be in Seattle, I was thinking about getting suspended the same way you did, only I couldn't see myself getting on the bus dressed that way, so the question is-”
“Well, shit, Natty. I just wore the suit underneath my clothes! I mean, I'm not that dumb... geez!”
“Oh.” I started giggling. “I have no idea why I didn't think of that. ... So once you were at school, you changed in a restroom, right?”
“No, in a phone booth. ... Sorry. Boy's restroom. Where else? ... But I was tempted to start pulling my regular clothes off in home room. Everybody would have been thinking, `What is he doing!??!'
“But I chickened out. ... On that part.”
“Yeah, but when you walked back in...”
“I didn't go back to home room, I went to Mr. Meecham's office. He's the dean. The one in charge of suspensions. So I walked in and it was beautiful. I thought he was going to have a heart attack. ... I almost wish he had, too. Me and Mr. Meecham never got along too good.”
“So okay,” I continued, “good thing nobody swiped your clothes. ... But I'm guessing no one did. So...”
“I gave them to Carlie,” explained Earl. “So I just went back, he handed them to me and said he'd be seeing me later and...”
“He walked outside still dressed like a bunny,” finished Carlie. “It was funny as hell, because every class he went by, he stuck his head in and waved goodbye. Dressed up like a bunny!”
“So it wasn't like I was going to be back, you know. Not last year, so why shouldn't I?”
“So how did you get home?” I wondered.
“Put my school clothes back on and started thumbing. Didn't take me long at all.”
But I still had another question. Well, aside from if he really and truly thought it was performance art when he was running around in that suit, only I had a feeling that he'd still insist that it was, so... “Well, okay, one final question, then. How did you happen to come by that suit in the first place?”
“Day before Easter – this year – Rev. Henrickson decided to have an Easter Egg Hunt and he asked me to be their Easter Bunny. ... I think he's weird.
… “Well, he's probably harmless. But, anyway, he said I could keep the suit until next Easter.”
“Except now it's at the bottom of the lake,” I reminded him.
Earl shrugged. “I'll tell him I'm sorry, but once I explain how I almost drowned, he'll probably say he's glad I didn't.”
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I figured I'd toss in the section above because the truth is, until we finally reached Vegas, our road trip wasn't all that exciting.
Except for us being dressed up in our costumes at the North Dakota-Montana state line... that was at least interesting... I thought...
And of course Carlie and Earl deciding to get naked was interesting, even if the rest of us were thinking our trip was about to end before we'd barely started. After I'd told my mom how nice Carlie was, he's about to be arrested for indecent exposure, that's what I was thinking, but...
Okay, we also managed to make getting ourselves decent again (in the creek) into something else entirely, but after that we were on our best behavior. Boringly so. And beyond that, it's not long until Interstates are boring, especially in the middle of the night. Even our music almost became boring, and that included our hastily put-together rabbit-themed CD.
We had to hurry because of them deciding to leave that evening, so we didn't even have a full CD, and two of our tracks turned out to be mistakes. At first, we almost liked “The Rabbit Song” courtesy, John Lydon, but it wasn't long until we'd changed our minds. (You're probably aware of this, but in case you're not, John Lydon is better known as Johnny Rotten.)
But an ever bigger mistake was Schnuffle Bunny. What were we thinking?
I'm not sure, but if nothing else, “The Snuggle Song” is one hell of a jarring contrast to Johnny Rotten.
(I'll save the rest of our rabbit-themed cuts for this chapter's postscript. That way, if you don't want to bother with it, well, fine!)
But okay, camping out in Yellowstone was fun. It was the first time we had a chance to sleep in our new tent – Stephan and I - and we thought it was pretty cool. There were no earth tremors while we were there. (We'd checked before leaving, and in June there were 77 quakes in Yellowstone. Nothing major, though, the largest was a 3.3.)
So we googled that too. “How serious is a 3.3 earthquake?” Not very. One answer was that it would be similar to a large truck passing by. Almost like being on I-15 from Ogden to Salt Lake City. At least until Elliott decided to be responsible and not exceed the posted speed limit, which had been 75, only it dropped to 65 all the way into Salt Lake. So at 65, we experienced several minor earth tremors, because no one else was paying attention to that speed limit and that included the trucks. PHOOMPH! PHOOMPTH! PHOOMPTH!! Going by the Richter Scale, there were quite a few 4-0 to 4.9s. Noticeable shaking of indoor items, rattling noises. Significant damage unlikely. Unless of course, we were run over. In that event, I'm guessing it would have been a 9.0.
But once we were almost in Salt Lake he thankfully decided to go with the flow of traffic again which by then was around 80, and he explained that for awhile he just wanted to see if it was actually possible to stay within the posted limit. (Then later, he admitted the truth, which was that he was trying to get even with Carlie for almost scaring him to death.)
If I can gauge Carlie's reaction by mine, then Elliott got his revenge.
And we'd probably get ours later. Even if Carlie and Earl got around to it first, we'd think of something, Stephan and I, but...
But first things first, because even though I didn't find a pair of video glasses in Salt Lake, Stephan found something else while we were in a Walgreens, a... um... (deep breath)...
It was a combination douche, enema and water bottle system. I didn't know anything about it, I didn't have a clue as to just how perverse he could be until we were about to walk out the front door. That's when he slapped the side of his head and said, “I forgot something!” He hadn't, but he didn't want the others to know about it. (And I appreciated that.) But after saying that we'd meet them at the car in just a minute, he pulled me back inside and after buying five small boxes of Russell Stover chocolates (our cover)...
“See,” he said excitedly, “it'll hold two quarts. And let's see... it has a stopper and a hook... we'll have to hang it somewhere and... tubing... we'll definitely need some tubing... shut off clamp... yep, we need that too... so what do you think?”
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Carlie and Elliott's behavior was kinky only because they thought it was. Well, I thought this was and I was blushing all the way out to the car. I could feel it. But if the rest noticed that I was suddenly acting a little strange, they never let on. Maybe they thought I felt awkward about us buying everyone chocolates, I really don't know. But I kept thinking about that douche bag all the way to Vegas and once we got there (at around 4am) while everyone else was oohing and aahing at the lights, I was probably still blushing.
Even if more often than not, I was also stiff, because this was kinky! Well-bred boys aren't supposed to give themselves enemas!
“So,” said Stephan that afternoon, “you'd rather be all stopped up? Ever think about that?”
Yeah, well, well-bred boys don't ever mention being... constipated... even if they are... and I wasn't... by the way, but...
I had to admit that it was logical. (And as soon as I did, I felt another twinge. In fact, if I'd been as far gone as Elliott, I think I would have squirted.)
But that's okay, because what I was thinking was: Stephan was going to be on the receiving end first. I could just picture it. He'd be in the tub.
So okay, first we had to get ourselves a motel room, and to do that I probably needed to call my mom several hours in advance so she could reserve one. If you're our age, even if you have the money, most motels aren't going to let you get a room on your own. It sucks.
And of course we'd have to tell the others that we were about to take another really big step... really really big, so we needed privacy...
But right, Stephan would be getting his first, and I could still picture it. He'd be in the tub on his back, then he'd pull his knees up until they were about even with his face, then I'd poke some of that goop into his hole, then after filling the enema bag with warm, soapy water... and knowing that I'd soon enough be in that same very open position myself...
Honestly, though. We all poop. Miss Universe poops. The Pope does. Everybody does it, and it always comes out from the same place. … And we already knew from some of our earlier prepping with a candle that every once in awhile there would be some of that... other stuff, so the less, the better. There. I've said it (almost) and it made perfect sense.
Even if I was also guessing that sharing it with Stephan would help tremendously. If he wasn't horribly embarrassed, then I'd only be a little, and it would be well worth it.
I was almost sure of it.
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Carlie's mom works long hours, so after she asked off Friday just so she could take us all to Lake Mead, Stephan and I were hardly in a position to say we'd already made other plans.
We were planning on riding all the coasters atop the Stratosphere, though. The Stratosphere Hotel & Casino. At the top, (more than a thousand feet up), there's Insanity, X Scream and Big Shot. Insanity dangles you over the edge, a sixth of a mile above the ground below, so that's definitely scary. X Scream is like a big see-saw, but again, you're see-sawing over the edge of the hotel. So if something goes wrong, it's a long way down.
Then there's Big Shot. You're strapped into a chair with your legs dangling and then they shoot you straight up the tower at the top of the building. 160 feet in two seconds. That's about four Gs. Then once at the top... free fall. Negative Gs. Then you'll promptly be shot back up again. Then it's free fall time again... and remember, all this is taking place about a fifth of a mile above The Strip, but...
Instead of all that, we were on a tour boat. All afternoon!
But Carlie had a nice visit with his mom and the scenery was nice. The picnic was nice. Swimming was nice. It was all very nice, and by the time we were back at her place, we were totally wiped out. We camped out in the den downstairs that night, so there wasn't much in the way of hanky panky. I really don't think there would have been much even if Carlie had come out to his mom.
But expecting no hanky panky at all would be a stretch, even if it never went beyond some quiet talking and snickering. That, and we finally talked Elliott into letting us see some pics of his Markus. He had several on a memory stick.
What piqued our interest was Elliott saying that Markus had an elephant dick. So of course we were wondering if by that he meant that it was gargantuan.
No, that wasn't it, said Elliott. (But I'd say it's at least above average. I'm guessing more than six inches and fairly big around.)
But the elephant dick description came from the fact that it looked to be bigger around at the end, and he had a short, sort of rolled-up foreskin, so in way, it looked like an elephant's trunk, you see. Soft, that's how it looks. But when it's hard, it looks pink and shiny. That and a bit large, but not so much like an elephant's trunk any more.
So we hoped Elliott worked things out with Markus, because he's also good-looking.
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Oh, and one other thing: I finally found some i-Kams. Yes!
I could imagine all sorts of things that I'd soon be recording.
More rabbit-themed music, some better than others. (We already had Frightened Rabbit.)
The Magnetic Fields... “Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits”.
Panic At the Disco... “Mad As Rabbits”.
Jefferson Airplane... “White Rabbit”. Of course.
Chas & Dave... “Rabbit.” It's hard to get it out of my head, sometimes.
Rabbit In The Moon... “Belly Dancer”. So. This is what it's like being high.
Animal Collective... “Who Could Win a Rabbit”. Or maybe it's like this.
Sparks... “Pulling Rabbits Out of the Hat”.
Bright Eyes... “Down In a Rabbit Hole”.
The Shins... “Red Rabbits”
Roots Manuva... “Evil Rabbit”.
Pansy Division... “Bunnies”.
The Cramps... “Swing the Big Eyed Rabbit”.
Dirty Little Rabbits... “I'm So Beautiful”.
Florence + The Machine... “Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)”.
Throwing Muses... “The Rabbit's Dying”.
Flanagan & Allen... “Run Rabbit Run”. It's a change of pace. Like you would not believe. .
Eminem... “Run Rabbit Run” It's not another version of the above.
But if it was... and it was still by Eminem...
Guess I'd have to use the word surreal again.