Written by: Jason Rimbaud
Edited by vwl
"Did you get him inside safely?" Aaron asked from the passenger seat, resting his head against the headrest, his eyes closed.
After shutting the car door, Steven started the engine and said, "I don’t know about ‘safely,’ but he is inside the house."
"What’d you do, ring the doorbell and run?" Aaron asked, opening his eyes to stare at his boyfriend.
"Nothing that juvenile," Steven said, grinning.
"So…"
"I reached into his pocket—" Steven began.
"What?" Aaron asked, sitting upright in the seat. "You reached into his pocket?"
"Yeah, for his keys," Steven said with an innocent expression.
"You felt him up," Aaron accused, crossing his arms.
"Just because that’s what you would’ve done doesn’t mean I would ever stoop to such a level of perversion," Steven retorted, pulling away from the darkened house.
Rolling his eyes, Aaron leaned back in the seat. "That would hurt if it weren’t true. Proceed."
"I unlocked the door—"
"After you felt him up."
"Of course, after," Steven said, laughing. "Then I opened said door and placed him gently on the floor."
Laughing, Aaron said, "Just like that? On the floor?"
"Pretty much," Steven said, shrugging.
"What’re his parents going to say in the morning?" Aaron wondered aloud.
"Not my problem," Steven said, turning left when he should have turned right. "Anyone who drinks so much that he passes out deserves whatever happens to him."
"Remind me never to pass out around you," Aaron said, still chuckling.
"I would never toss you on the floor," Steven promised with a grin. Then adding after a pause, "I only toss you off on the bed."
"Perv."
"Like you said, it’s all we have left." Steven again shrugged.
Noticing they were no longer traveling on the road home, Aaron asked, "Where are we going?"
"I’m thirsty," Steven replied.
"And because of some bizarre drought you have no beverages at home for to drink," Aaron offered.
"Something like that," Steven said, then adding, "For to drink?"
Ignoring Steven’s comments, he looked out the window and clapped his hands when he recognized the landmarks. He shouted, "We’re going to Chef Andy’s."
"I figured you’d be getting hungry about now, so I decided to lift the lifetime ban I had imposed on Chef Andy’s, and, for this one time, allow you to consume their questionable fare," Steven managed to say with a straight face.
Leaning over, Aaron kissed him on the cheek, rubbing Steven’s leg at the same time. "I don’t deserve you."
"I concur, but what the hell," Steven said while laughing, unable to contain himself any longer.
"I can taste it already," Aaron said, a far away look in his eyes. "I’m going to get banana waffles, a cheese omelet and home fries smothered and covered."
"I can hear you getting fatter already," Steven said, rolling his eyes.
"Will you still love me when I’m old and fat?" Aaron asked, pushing his stomach out as far as it could go.
Looking over at Aaron’s stomach, Steven paused, pretending to give the matter some thought before replying, "I could always get a boy toy while you stuff your wrinkly face."
Aaron crossed his arms put a pout on his face, then turned his head to stare out the window. Steven added quickly, "But you’ll always be my knight."
"Really?" Aaron asked, turning to look at Steven again.
"Promise," Steven said, then adding with a straight face. "My knight in flabby armor."
Aaron laughed, shrugging. "Good enough for me."
"That’s it. Keep your standards low."
Pulling into the parking lot of Chef Andy’s, Steven found a parking space and turned off the engine. Looking around at the number of other cars, he rolled his eyes. He had forgotten that Chef Andy’s was a popular hangout for most of the kids from school. After all, it was one of the few places open all night, and the food, if you could call it that, was still fairly inexpensive.
Aaron stretched, yawning in the process. Giving Steven a crooked grin, he opened the door and headed towards the restaurant at a quick pace.
Steven followed, but at a much slower rate. Aaron looked back and noticed him limping again. He asked, "How’s the ankle?"
Steven shrugged. "Vicodin’s wearing off."
"Are you going to be all right?" Aaron asked, pausing at the front door to allow Steven to catch up.
"Yep," Steven replied, opening the door. Aaron walked inside, and Steven couldn’t help but smile at how stupid they looked wearing matching clothes.
The moment he stepped inside the diner, he winced. A mixture of sweat, greasy food, and stale cigarette smoke greeted him, like death welcoming him to an early grave. Shaking his head, he looked around the crowded restaurant. He noticed more than a few people he knew and waved at most of them.
Turning his attention back to Aaron, Steven heard: "A table for two, darling."
The older lady that greeted them looked tired but still managed a smile at Aaron’s flirtatious nature. "Follow me, sweetie."
"To the ends of the earth," Aaron said, flashing her a smile.
This caused the waitress, an older lady with a bad dye job, to laugh aloud as she led them through the crowded restaurant. Placing the menus on the table, she smiled and asked, "Can I get you two handsome boys something to drink?"
Aaron slid into the booth saying, "A large diet coke, please." Sliding across the booth, he leaned against the window, throwing his feet on the cushion.
Steven sat down opposite him, and asked, "Do you have any bottled water?"
"Where do you think you are, sugar, Denny’s?" The lady asked, laughing at her own joke.
Somehow managing a small grin, Steven said, "I’ll take a glass of water, no ice."
"Be right back," the lady said, giving Aaron another wide smile.
After the lady walked away, Steven said: "You’re pathetic."
"What?" Aaron asked, feigning innocence.
"Do you have to flirt with everyone?" Steven
asked, not really annoyed, more like falling into an old comfortable
routine—just one of their ways to hide what they really felt about one another
in public.
"I’ll have you know, my flirtatious behavior gets me all kinds of extras that
many of the other customers don’t receive," Aaron said as he pulled his
cigarettes out of his pocket.
"Do you have to smoke?" Steven asked, frowning as he opened the stained menu.
"I don’t have to," Aaron said, pausing to light the cigarette. Drawing the smoke deep in his lungs, he exhaled loudly. "But I really want to."
"It makes your breath stink," Steven accused.
Aaron countered, "That’s why I always carry gum and breath mints."
"My clothes stink after a night hanging out with you."
"That’s why I always offer to shower with you."
"Okay, I give up," Steven said, laughing.
"And one more time, I win," Aaron said, giving himself a high five.
"It’s only because you have an inferior intellect, you know," Steven said.
"A win is a win, no matter the reason behind the win," Aaron said, flashing a wide grin.
"Feeling pretty proud of yourself, huh?" Steven asked.
"Just a bit. But since I always win with you, the thrill has kind of gone out of it," Aaron said before taking a deep drag from his cigarette.
"I’ve not yet begun to fight," Steven added mysteriously.
"I don’t like the look on your face," Aaron said, feeling a bit uneasy from the tone of Steven’s voice.
"Who me?" Steven asked, laughing ominously. Standing up, he added, "Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom. You know what I want to eat; order for me."
The moment Steven walked away, Aaron crushed out his cigarette. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy smoking, but sometimes he did it just to annoy his boyfriend.
The waitress returned with the drinks, and while she put them down, she asked, "Are you ready to order?"
"Of course, darling." Aaron flashed her a smile. "I’ll take the banana waffles, cheese omelet and home fries smothered and covered."
"Is that all?" she asked, smiling. "You sure you wouldn’t want a side of sausage or bacon?
"I’m watching my weight," Aaron fired back.
"And for your friend?"
"He’ll take the fresh-fruit plate."
"He watching his weight, too?" she asked, shaking her head as she wrote down the order, a knowing smile on her lips.
Shrugging, Aaron replied, "He thinks his ass is getting flabby."
Turning around to watch Steven limp back to the table, she chuckled and said, "I don’t think he has much to worry about."
"Worry about what?" Steven asked, sliding back into the booth.
"Whether or not you’re getting fat," Aaron said, winking at the waitress.
"Better to be safe than sorry," Steven said, shrugging.
"I think sometimes you have to spoil yourself—just to remind you what you’re missing," the waitress said, again maintaining eye contact with Aaron.
"My thoughts exactly," Aaron agreed. "I spoil myself crazy all the time."
"More like you’re just crazy," Steven interjected, laughing.
"Like a fox," Aaron and the waitress replied in unison, causing both of them to break out in laughter.
After she walked away, Aaron said, "I like her."
"She’s pretty nice," Steven agreed. "I wouldn’t want her job, though."
"Me neither," Aaron said. "Putting up with people like me all night: that would drive me crazy."
"Like a fox," both boys said in unison.
"What did you order for me?" Steven asked, moving around on the cushion to find a more comfortable position.
"Fresh-fruit plate, what else?" Aaron said.
"Good boy."
"Why do I feel like a dog all of a sudden?
"If the feeling fits…"
"Aaron, you naughty boy!" A loud voice seemed to echo around the restaurant.
Both boys cringed as they heard that voice. Turning around, they saw Sara standing at the door with three girlfriends. Giving her a wave, Steven mumbled under his breath, "It’s like she’s a dog or something."
"Her nose isn’t big enough for a dog," Aaron muttered, giving her a wave as well.
"Are you sure?" Steven asked. "She seems to have the knack of tracking you down no matter where you go."
"There’s the nasty jealous boy I’ve come to cherish," Aaron said, a smile playing on his lips.
Leaving her friends at the door, Sara walked over to the table. Well, it really wasn’t a walk—more like a swagger that offered challenges to every red-blooded American boy in the restaurant.
Moving Aaron’s feet from the cushion, she sat down. "Leaving me at the party without so much as saying goodbye wasn’t very nice. Bad Aaron!"
"There goes that dog feeling again," Aaron said, rolling his eyes.
"What?" Sara asked, cocking her head to one side.
Seeing her with her head cocked to one side reminded Steven of a confused dog. This brought on the giggles, giggles he couldn’t stop.
"What’s so funny?" Sara asked, glaring at the boy.
Changing the subject, Aaron said, "I’m sorry about leaving you. But Mike was really drunk, and we had to get him home before he embarrassed himself any more."
"That’s what I like about you, Aaron," Sara said, patting his cheek affectionately. "You always look out for your friends."
"Yep, that’s our Aaron: loyal like a dog," Steven said through laughter.
Aaron flashed Steven a look—one he hoped carried all the anger and frustration he felt at the moment. But it only caused Steven to laugh harder. Ignoring him, Aaron said, "Looks like you found a ride home okay, so that’s good."
Turning to find her friends already seated at another table, Sara said, rubbing Aaron’s leg, "Yes, but I was hoping you’d be able to give me a ride home from here."
Waiting to see how Aaron would get out of this one, Steven sat back in the lumpy seat with his hands linked behind his head and smiled.
Stammering, Aaron fumbled with his cigarettes. Lighting one, he made sure to blow the smoke almost directly into Sara’s face, saying, "Sorry, but I’m staying at Steven’s house tonight. I promised I’d help him clean out the garage tomorrow."
Waving the smoke from her face, she said, "That’s okay. It’s getting late, anyway."
"Maybe next time," Aaron said, feeling more comfortable now that she seemed appeased by his lie.
"I agree," Sara said with a sudden smile on her face. "So I’ll see you over at your house tomorrow night again. So we can do something then."
"What?" Aaron asked, his eyes wide.
"Didn’t your mom tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"Silly boy, so forgetful," Sara said shaking her head. Patting him again on the cheek, she continued, "Your mother and I are on the Feed the Homeless program sponsored by the First Methodist Church of Menlo Park. Tomorrow night we’ll be going over the preparations at your house. We can go out for ice cream after the meeting."
Aaron’s mouth dropped open, and Steven frowned. Sara, oblivious to the thoughts running through both boys’ minds, stood up and said, "So I’ll see you tomorrow, Aaron."
"Fuck," Aaron said, once the determined girl left the table.
"I concur," Steven said.
"Breakfast is ready," the waitress said, placing the dishes on the table.
"Thanks," Steven muttered, while Aaron sat there with a scared look on his face.
Noticing that Aaron didn’t look as if he was going to partake in any more witty banter, the waitress left them alone to enjoy their breakfast.
Steven couldn’t help but grin at Aaron’s predicament. It wasn’t that he hated Sara; usually she was a sweet and caring girl. She had the whole high-school-attitude thing, but who didn’t. But sometimes the way she threw herself at Aaron caused a jealous streak a mile wide inside his heart. Most times when she wasn’t around Aaron, she was nice enough. This particular time, her constant meddling into Aaron’s life caused him amusement.
"I don’t know what to do about her anymore," Aaron muttered, digging into his breakfast with a vengeance. "This isn’t funny, Steven."
"So I guess you’re busy Saturday night."
"I mean it, Steven; knock it off."
Steven pretended to study his breakfast or late-night snack, depending on how you judged things. Surprisingly the fresh fruit looked as if it might actually be fresh: pineapple wedges, sliced strawberries, chunks of Fuji apples, kiwi fruit, red and green grapes and mandarin slices. Taking a bite of the pineapple, he smiled. It was good. His stomach rumbled, reminding him just how hungry he was, though he hated to eat this late.
After finishing half of his breakfast, Aaron threw the fork down and rubbed the bridge of his nose, muttering, "I’ve got to do something about her. I can’t take another year of her following me around everywhere."
"You could always do what Shawn suggested," Steven offered, grinning from ear to ear at the advice one of Aaron’s teammates offered earlier in the year.
"What’s that?" Aaron asked, reaching over and grabbing a slice of apple from Steven’s plate.
"Just get it over with," Steven said, eyeing the slice of apple as Aaron put it in his mouth. "Once she’s had you, she’ll forget about you and move on to some other sucker."
In between chewing, Aaron asked with a grin, "Are you trying to say I’m forgettable?"
"I wouldn’t presume to know one way or the other. All I’m saying is that the rejection is what started this, uh, obsession in the first place. If you would’ve been any other normal male, when she tried to…break you, you would’ve accepted, and she would’ve had her fun and moved on to the next target."
"Normal male?" Aaron asked, his eyes narrowing. Lowering his voice, he added, "Am I hearing this correctly? My boyfriend, the love of my life, I might add, is telling me to fuck a girl so she can get over me?"
Aaron reached over again for another slice of apple. Steven glared at him but continued, "All I’m saying is that if you didn’t want her to have this fatal attraction for you, you should’ve slept with her two years ago."
"If I recall," Aaron said, rubbing his chin, "I was trying to figure out how to sleep with someone else at the time."
Steven smiled before saying, "And if I recall, you pretty much did the same thing to me that she is attempting to do to you."
Leaning back against the booth, Aaron put his hands on the back of his head and said with a smug grin, "What makes you think I was talking about you?"
Steven didn’t hesitate; he kicked Aaron’s leg as hard as he could.
"Hey! That hurt," Aaron screamed out, turning red in the face as he realized half of the restaurant was looking over at them. "That wasn’t funny," he growled.
"I found it rather amusing," Steven countered, blocking Aaron’s attempt at grabbing another slice of apple. Stabbing that same piece with his fork, he held it up a few inches from his eyes and continued, "It’s like that time in the Garden of Eden."
"How’d you figure?"
"Out of all the fruit in the world, God said you can eat anything you wanted, any animal, any plant, any fruit—anything, except fruit from this one tree. Nowadays, we use the apple as the symbol of that fruit. Though realistically, if it was truly an apple, it was nothing like the apples of today." Shaking his head, Steven put the slice of apple in his mouth. Chewing methodically, he swallowed the bite before continuing. "Once they ate the apple, the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil to be precise, the covenant with God was broken. Now I ask you, did this fruit really have that power?"
"I don’t know," Aaron said, eyeing the last slice of apple on Steven’s plate hungrily.
"No, it did not have the knowledge of good and evil. It was the symbol of good and evil. You see, once Eve ate that damn apple--"
"Or whatever fruit it was," Aaron interjected.
"Right, but once she ate it, she talked Adam into eating it as well. They broke God’s law, and he cast them out of Eden," Steven said with a firm shake of his head, signifying that he was finished.
"And?"
"No, and I’m done," Steven said, plopping a strawberry in his mouth.
"What the hell does that have to do with Sara stalking me?" Aaron asked, snatching the last slice of apple from Steven’s plate.
Grinning, Steven leaned back and asked, "Do you think they continued to eat that forbidden fruit after God kicked them out?"
"I don’t know. If it was good, maybe, yeah," Aaron said with a shrug.
"I don’t think they did. Matter of fact, I think they would’ve starved to death before they tasted that fruit again," Steven said with a confident shake of his head.
"And why is that?"
"Sara is a lot like Eve," Steven explained. "She really doesn’t like apples, but if someone tells her not to eat one, she will try—on principle alone. And after the core is thrown away, she’ll move on to another type of fruit."
"You make my head hurt sometimes," Aaron complained, pushing his half-eaten breakfast away from him.
"Now unlike, Sara…Eve, if you will," Steven said with a wicked smile as he grabbed a chunk of pineapple. Popping it in his mouth, he said, "I like pineapples, but I love apples. I tasted my first apple two years ago, and I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of apples. God, my parents, society, popular opinion, moon men or even Nick Nolte on a drunken rampage couldn’t get me to stop eating apples."
"I don’t care what you say, I’m not wearing a dress." Aaron said, frowning despite his ever-quickening pulse rate.
Steven answered in a soft voice, his eyes twinkling, "Clothing is optional, though highly discouraged."
Looking around, Aaron asked with growing excitement, "Would you like to go and find somewhere quiet and secluded?"
"Yes," Steven whispered, taking a deep breath.
Aaron reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. Looking around for the waitress, he placed two tens on the table and said, "Let’s go."
They stood up and left the restaurant as fast as they could. Climbing into the car, Steven turned and said, "You know, I’ll always love you. Even when you get old and fat."
"I concur."
Pulling down his darkened street, Steven parked Aaron’s car on the curb in front of his house. Aaron opened the door, but before he could get out of the car, Steven pulled him into an embrace and kissed him. For a few moments they sat in the car, their lips locked together. The sensations reeling through their minds were overwhelming: raw emotion that they were helpless to control. All the built-up tension from the long day of trying to find a place to be alone rushed out all at once. Groping one another, they lost themselves in each other. Though they started out with a kiss, they were progressing rapidly into a full-blown, make-out session.
"Steven."
For the second time that night, both boys cringed at a voice interrupting their activities. The first time was Sara—annoying, but one they could forget rather easily—but this voice, one they knew better than their own, caused their once boiling blood to freeze.
Steven looked over Aaron’s shoulder and stared right into the eyes of his mother.
"I…" he began but was silenced by the look in his mother’s eyes.
"We won’t talk about what time it is," his mother said in an eerily calm voice. "Sometime in the night, a pipe broke in the basement. Your father’s down there right now standing in three inches of water."
"Mom…"
"I expect both of you to go down there and help him clean up the mess."
"Mamma Carter…" Aaron tried.
"Did you two hear me?" she barked out, an unreadable expression on her face.
"Yes, ma’am," both boys said in unison.
She wrapped her robe around her body tighter, staring at them with a blank expression. She watched as they exited the car and walked into the house with their heads down.
Once inside the house, Steven looked over at Aaron, hoping to make eye contact, but Aaron refused to look in his direction. So, silently they walked through the living room and into the kitchen.
Steven began, "Aaron, I’m sorry…"
"I said downstairs," Lynn ordered from the living room.
Aaron opened the basement door and headed down the stairs. Steven sighed and followed.
Once downstairs, his father was standing in the center of the basement floor, a confused look on his face. Noticing the boys, David smiled and said, "This reminds me of the time when I was a kid. It was in the middle of winter and this stupid bird flew headlong into one of the basement windows, shattering it. All that cold air caused the pipes directly under the window to freeze and burst."
Only half-paying attention to his father, Steven walked over and picked up the hose of the Shop Vac. Turning on the machine, he began the slow process of sucking up the water.
For the next few hours, the three of them took turns at the Shop Vac, while the others used mops and buckets. On one of the several occasions when they went upstairs to empty the buckets, they found Lynn in the kitchen. She had prepared drinks for them as well as a few snacks to keep up their energy.
For the first time in his life, Steven felt uncomfortable around his parents. Aaron, who normally made off-the-wall statements and stupid jokes, was understandably quiet. While his mother was just…there. Neither saying anything bad or good, she seemed to be going through the motions of being a mother.
As usual, oblivious to everything, David rambled on about this or that, unaffected by the dark moods of the rest of his family. Around five a.m., David declared the basement dry enough, and the three of them headed upstairs. Lynn was waiting in the kitchen, sipping from a cup of cold coffee.
David walked over and kissed his wife on the cheek and said, "It’s as good as its going to get tonight, er, this morning. Whatever."
Smiling at her husband, she said, "You must be tired."
"I’ve been more awake," David said, collapsing onto one of the stools crowded around the kitchen island.
Steven glanced at Aaron, who had managed to keep quiet the entire time, and smiled. To Aaron’s credit, he returned the smile. Granted it was weak, but it was a start.
Aaron spoke, keeping his eyes trained on the floor, "I’m gonna get going. I’m sure my mom is worried about me."
"I don’t think so," Lynn said sharply. "I called her after you two came home and said you were both safe and that you would be staying here tonight."
"Mom…"
"Don’t worry, boys," Lynn said in a softer tone. "I did not tell her that Aaron had been drinking. Sometimes parents don’t have to know every little thing their child does."
"Thank you, Mamma Carter," Aaron said sheepishly, raising his head to meet her gaze.
"Don’t thank me yet," Lynn said in a more harsh tone. "I might still tell her."
"Mom, we can explain," Steven said, walking over to stand next to his boyfriend.
David, for the first time that night, realized there was something else going on besides them coming home late and having a few beers at a party. He spoke, "Steven, you know how we feel about drinking."
"I don’t drink," Steven interrupted, never taking his eyes off his mother.
"Which is why I didn’t say anything about Aaron drinking," Lynn said. "If there is one thing I know, I know you two boys look after one another. I also know that Steven drove home, so that issue is pretty much dead."
"You boys are both intelligent, and I know that you’ll try and experiment with things," David began in a voice that could only mean he was beginning a lecture. "And it’s perfectly natural. All we’re saying is that you need to be careful. Like tonight, Aaron drank, and Steven drove."
Steven tried to maintain his temper but when his father said that, he exploded, "It’s not an experiment."
David, shocked by Steven’s outburst, held up his hand as if he was going to say something, but Lynn shouted right back, "How do you know? You’re too young to know anything."
"Now, Lynn, I don’t think either one of you should be yelling," David said, trying to calm everyone down. As he looked to his wife, then to his son, pieces of the puzzle began to slowly fall into place. He glanced over at Aaron and saw something in the young man’s eyes that caused a feeling of fear in the pit of his stomach.
Aaron, who had been staring at the floor again, raised his eyes and met Lynn’s gaze. Before, he had been embarrassed and scared that she had seen them, afraid that she might look at him in a different way, but now a different fear began to gnaw at him. He had seen Steven fight with his parents before, but this time the undercurrents were dangerously close to someone saying something that could never be taken back. And he could not help but think it was all his fault.
"Oh, really," Steven shouted. "I’m too young to know. I’m older than you were when you met Dad."
"That’s different," Lynn said, taking a step forward.
"How?" Steven countered, taking a step towards her. "What’s so different?"
"Because!"
"Great answer, Mom," Steven spat out.
Aaron had had enough, he ran out of the kitchen and through the living room. As he opened the front door, he heard Steven yell, "See what you did."
Running down the drive, he fumbled for the keys in his pocket. He had never been one to cry, but as he tried to unlock the door, he felt tears slide down his cheeks. "Fuck," he screamed, hitting the top of his car with his hand.
David had run out behind Aaron, chasing him. Seeing the boy hitting the top of the car, he paused. "Aaron," he called out gently, "I don’t think you should be driving in your condition."
"This is so fucked up," Aaron said in defeat, forgetting in his fear to watch his language. Turning around, he slid down the side of the car and sat on the ground, his head buried between his knees.
David walked over and sat down beside the boy he had come to think of almost as his own son. "I know I’m not really good at these things, but this is not about drinking anymore, is it?"
"No," Aaron replied in a soft voice. Reaching for his cigarettes, he put one in his mouth before he realized who was sitting next to him. Blushing, he muttered, "Sorry."
"Don’t be," David said in an understanding voice. "It’s not like I didn’t know you smoke. Besides, you look like you might need one."
Aaron lit up, and they sat in silence for a few moments. After a bit, David asked, "So do you want to tell me what all this yelling and screaming is about?"
Hanging his head, Aaron said in a quiet voice, "She saw us."
Having his own suspicions confirmed but not one to jump to conclusions, David asked, "Doing what?"
"We were…um…kind of…" Aaron tried but couldn’t form the words. Too many years of hiding and denying his emotions held him silenced, as if his mind was locked in a vice.
"Aaron," David said, getting up and positioning himself so he was kneeling in front of the boy. Placing his hands gently on Aaron’s knees, he said, "For the last few years I’ve come to think of you as a son."
"I…"
"Be quiet and listen," David said sternly. Then, adding in a softer tone with a smile, "Along with that comes everything else."
"Huh?"
"I worry about you just as I worry about my own son. I care about you just as I care about Steven. I’ll try to advise you just as I would him." David paused to collect his thoughts, phrasing his words carefully, he continued: "For the longest time now, it’s been you and Steven. Sometimes I can’t distinguish between the two. Do you think there is anything in this world that would make me think less of him or of you?"
"No."
Taking the cigarette from Aaron’s fingers, David took a long drag and sighed. "I haven’t had one of these in seventeen years."
"You used to smoke?" Aaron asked.
"Yeah," David said, settling back down next to Aaron. "I don’t think even Steven knows this, but he was our miracle baby. The doctors didn’t think I was capable of having kids: low sperm count."
"Really?"
"Yeah, Lynn and I tried for months. We saw fertility doctors, but nothing happened. For a while we discussed maybe trying donors." David paused to take another drag. "That’s good," he said as he felt the cigarette between his fingers.
Aaron lit another cigarette for himself and listened as David continued. "We even thought about adopting, but then a miracle happened. Lynn said we were pregnant."
"How?" Aaron asked.
"Fate, maybe, I don’t know. But it really doesn’t matter," David said with a wistful smile. "Because she was pregnant, and I was going to be a father. All through the pregnancy I smoked—not around her, but I smoked. Then came the day when Steven entered this world. I held him in my arms right after he took his first breath. Normally the doctors give the child to the mother first, but for some reason they gave him to me."
"I held him, this tiny person with ten toes and ten fingers, two closed eyes. And he was perfect; he was ours, and he was mine. I held him up and introduced myself to him. I said, ‘Steven, I’m your father. And this beautiful lady beside me is your mother. And over your life you will have lots of love from people, but always remember we will always love you best.’ I had always wanted a son, and now I had one. Yet suddenly I was afraid."
"Why?"
"Because, for the first time, I realized what it would take to become a father." David tried to find the words to explain. "Holding him, I saw what an awesome responsibility being a father entailed. He was perfect but also empty: an empty vessel waiting for us to fill up. It was up to me to teach him right and wrong, teach him how to become a man others would be proud to know. What I taught and what I did would affect him the rest of his life. That’s the day I quit smoking."
"For Steven. You quit for Steven?" Aaron said in wonder. He had never thought what a father must go through each and every day. He looked over at the man he respected and for a moment got a glimpse of unconditional love. And it was overwhelming.
"Yes, I quit so I could be there for him when he needed me most," David said, taking one last drag before throwing the cigarette away.
"I love him," Aaron said simply.
"I know," David said, patting the boy on the leg. "I can see it in your eyes. I think I’ve always known."
They sat in silence for a moment before David said, "It’s going to be hard for the two of you."
"I’m beginning to understand that," Aaron said, sighing.
"This is a day when I’m glad I stopped smoking," David said with a tired smile. "Looks like my boy is going to be needing his dad all the more over the next few months."
Aaron grabbed the older man in a tight embrace, tears slowly falling down his cheeks. David hugged him just as tightly, murmuring, "It’s going to be okay, Aaron. I’m not done caring for my boy, or for you."
Aaron broke the embrace and wiped the tears from his cheeks. At that moment, David stopped being just Steven’s cool father. For the rest of his life, Aaron would always think of David as his second father. And he would always look at the man with love.
Feeling awkward, David stood up and said, "We should go inside and make sure they’re not killing each other."
Aaron smiled and let the older man help him to his feet. "Thank you."
"Well, alright," David said, feeling somewhat embarrassed by Aaron’s affection. This development was going to be hard to get used to. But he was never one to back down from a fight, and sometimes love really does conquer all.
Opening the door, they paused, listening for any signs of violence. Not hearing anything but quiet voices from the kitchen, David said, "Seems like they’re past the yelling stages. That’s always a good sign."
They turned the corner and walked into the kitchen warily.
"Do you have any idea what people are going to say about you?" Lynn asked, her voice soft and filled with emotion.
Steven replied, seemingly the calmer of the two, "It’s not as if I’ll be broadcasting to the world, Mom."
When Steven saw Aaron walk back into the room, he jumped up and ran over to him. Wrapping him up in a hug, he was surprised when Aaron gripped him back tightly. He whispered to Aaron, "I’m sorry."
"Don’t be," Aaron said softly. "I think maybe it was for the best."
David walked over and kissed his wife, but this time on the lips. "It’s going to be okay."
"Have you been smoking?" Lynn asked, giving her husband a glare.
"Later, Hon," David said, his tone giving her an unspoken assurance that they would discuss it later in private.
"Mom," Steven said, breaking the hug. Reaching down, he grabbed Aaron’s hand. "I love him."
Taking a deep breath, she stood up and walked over to Aaron. Grabbing his head, she pulled him down so she could kiss his cheek. "Don’t take this the wrong way, Aaron. I love you; you know that. But I don’t understand this; I don’t know if I’ll ever understand this."
"I…"
"Your father and I are going to bed," Lynn said. "I suggest that you boys do the same. It’s been a very long night."
"I love you, Mom."
"We’ll discuss your punishment in the morning," Lynn said, as she headed out of the kitchen.
David walked over to his son and gave him a hug, whispering, "She’ll come around. She loves you way too much."
"I love you, too, Dad."
"Of course. Who wouldn’t?" he said, laughing. "Now you boys go to bed." And with that, he disappeared around the corner and followed his wife up the stairs with a very determined look on his face. He knew full well that this conversation wasn’t over.
Steven looked over at Aaron and silently pulled him towards the stairs. They didn’t speak until they were safely behind Steven’s door.
Steven walked over and sat down on the bed. Aaron took a step but then stopped, asking, "What are you thinking?"
"I’m thinking I’m very tired," Steven said, grabbing at his shirt and pulling it off. Dropping the shirt on the floor, he stood up and unbuttoned his pants.
"What are you doing?" Aaron asked, a wild look in his eye as he turned to look at the closed door.
"Getting ready for bed," Steven replied, pushing his pants down. Sitting back on the bed, he bent over and untied his shoes. Noticing Aaron standing there, Steven looked up and asked, "Aren’t you coming?"
"I don’t know if that’s a very good idea," Aaron said.
After taking off his shoes, Steven kicked off his pants and stood up. Crossing the short distance between them, he stopped and said, "She told us to go to bed."
"I don’t know if she meant like this."
"Aaron," Steven said with a tired smile, "don’t you want to sleep with me?"
"Of course," Aaron said, wrapping his arms around Steven’s waist. "But…"
"Do you think my mom is stupid?" Steven asked, grabbing Aaron’s shirt and lifting it over his head, mussing his hair.
"No," Aaron replied after Steven removed his shirt.
"She told us to go to bed," Steven continued, now focusing on Aaron’s pants. "With a blessing like that, I’m not gonna make you sleep on the floor."
"Good point," Aaron grinned, letting Steven undo his pants.
Aaron pushed his pants down and looked over at Steven and whistled, saying, "Damn, I still love them underwear."
"Oh, yeah," Steven said, looking down. "I forgot I was wearing ‘them underwear.’"
Gripping Steven’s shoulders for balance, Aaron slid first one leg and then the other out of his pants.
"Always love to see you in a thong," Aaron said, yawning. "But I’m too tired to do anything but look."
"I hear that." Steven yawned as well.
They quickly removed their socks and crawled into bed. Pulling one another close, they shut their eyes and just held each other. Though they had done this same act for almost two years, this time it felt different, freer somehow. Maybe it was the fact that if Steven’s parents walked in, they both knew it would be all right. Though it was just a small form of acceptance, it was a start.
"You know what?" Steven said, his voice so soft it was almost a whisper.
"What?" Aaron answered, his speech slurred from lack of sleep.
"All day long we’ve been trying to find some place to be alone," Steven said, chuckling to himself. "And now that we’re alone, all I want to do is sleep."
"I concur," Aaron mumbled, turning around so his back faced Steven. Steven moved closer and threw his arm over Aaron’s body and snuggled against him.
Grabbing Steven’s hand and pulling it tighter around his body, Aaron said, "Good night."
Steven leaned closer to Aaron’s ear, and said, "I’m thinking I was wrong."
"About what?" Aaron asked, kissing Steven’s hand.
"About God hating us."
Aaron sighed and said, "But will it be enough?"
"We can always hope." Steven replied softly.
Even with Steven’s arms around him, Aaron had never felt so alone. He wasn’t ready for anyone else to find out his secret. He couldn’t risk his parents finding out about his relationship with Steven, no matter what he had to do to protect himself. He could only hope Steven would understand.
He lay awake long after Steven drifted off to sleep.