As Mum pulled into the school car park, I wondered what would happen. Sunday had passed without a word from Liz, and I was a nervous wreck over that. I didn’t even know whether she’d gotten the flowers, or Trevor had thrown them out before she saw them.
Randy had tried to argue that we should catch the bus to school, but Mum was firm. She was going to sit in the school office until she could see either Mr. Pitt or Ms. Ng. Since Mum was driving, there was no need for any of us to ride the bus. We could sense her unspoken fear that there might be another attack, but no one was brave enough to even hint about that subject.
We three boys got out of the car and hovered uncertainly nearby.
Before she locked the car, Mum reached in and got the file that Michael’s dad had dropped off the day before. It was a copy of the police report, which she would make sure was added to Randy’s school files.
Mr. O’Conner had been off duty when he’d dropped the file at our place, and he’d brought Michael with him. It turned out that Dad had rung him earlier and invited both of them around. What I had thought was going to be a short visit ended up stretching through dinner. They were still there when Scott and Chris showed up afterwards. There was an awkward moment when Michael stared at Scott, clearly puzzled, but I think I saved it when I grabbed Scott and asked him to help me review my Computer Studies notes. We worked on that until Michael and his dad left. I don’t know if we were being paranoid about Scott showing up, but the last thing he needed was a rumour going around that he had become a regular visitor to our house. A little covering up was a small price to pay to keep Scott’s secret.
I hadn’t known that Michael’s mum had died of breast cancer two years earlier. We all learnt that when Adam asked a question. We could all see the pain in Michael’s eyes as he told us. After a simple statement, he asked us to drop the subject.
“Okay, boys,” Mum said, shaking me out of my memories of the day before, “get going. Just stick together, please?”
After we waved an acknowledgement, we headed towards the outside basketball courts and Mum headed to the school office. We were a lot earlier than we’d have been if we’d caught the bus, so none of our usual friends were around.
“So, what are we going to do until everyone else arrives?” Randy asked as we walked along.
The difference in my brother from the previous Friday was dramatic. Two days of unwinding, apart from the incident at the basketball match, had eliminated much of his anger. He had seemed tense as we got into the car, but he appeared to be settling into the same sort of determination that Adam had, rather than showing a need to lash out.
I think a good part of that was due to church on Sunday morning. Randy had outright rejected the idea when Dad had announced it, and Adam had looked nervous, which I could understand, considering the events from our Religious Education class. Mum and Dad had insisted, though, and we had all gone to church.
From the way he’d scowled, I could tell that Randy had been prepared to throw any abuse back at anyone who made a comment, but he was completely disarmed when the minister went out of his way to say hello to all of us — especially Adam. Nominally an Anglican, Adam hadn’t been to our church before and had been surprised by the kind attention he received.
He seemed confused, though in a happy way, when the sermon shifted from that traditional for Lent and onto the subject of tolerance and love. The minister explicitly mentioned homosexuality, causing a faint whisper to run through the congregation, but he moved on without belabouring the point.
Afterwards, a number of other young people came up to say hello to both Randy and Adam. The conversations were on safe topics — apart from a couple of questions about Randy’s hair — but just the gesture was enough for Randy to start to respond. A goofy grin had appeared on Adam’s face, and it had stayed there until well after we’d left the church.
“Hang around and do stuff-all?” Adam suggested in response to Randy’s question, as we kept walking towards the basketball courts.
“If you two don’t mind, can we be somewhere where we can see both the main car park and the bus stop?” I asked.
“Why?” Randy queried.
“I want to catch Liz as soon as she arrives,” I answered meekly.
The other two exchanged knowing glances. Grinning, they quickly agreed, and we settled ourselves down. They started to chat about something, but I didn’t pay any attention. I had other things on my mind.
There was nothing I could do about Liz until I saw her and found out whether or not she’d got the flowers. If she hadn’t, I wouldn’t know what to do or say. So much depended on just being able to start to talk to her again, and to do that I needed an opening.
I’m sure the other two guys thought I was thinking on Liz, and she wasn’t far from my mind, but most of my thoughts were on Randy and Adam.
Strangely, it’s Randy who’s been teaching me about Adam and what it means to be gay.
Randy’s not gay — he’s said that several times — but he’s being hassled as if he is. I was slowly learning that being gay means a lot more than just being attracted to other guys. That’s the core of it, and something I don’t think I’ll ever understand, but I was beginning to see the consequences of it. The sex part, something that I’m still uncomfortable even thinking about, is what most people seem to focus on, but I was learning that there’s more than that to being gay. I was also realising that society’s attitudes affect how gay guys think and act.
Scott was hiding, and had hinted at times that he was having trouble keeping going. Randy had changed from a happy-go-lucky teenager into a sullen, stubborn prat, all because some people thought he was gay. I was hopeful that he was getting over that, but I still had a doubt, especially at times when a certain glint in his eyes showed that his temper was only being kept in check. If it can affect Randy that badly, it must be much worse for a guy who knows that what he’s being accused of is true.
Randy had accepted Adam as another brother very fast, but it just didn’t seem right to me. I was still trying to work out Adam’s place in my life. He was a schoolmate, a teammate, hopefully a friend, and a sort-of brother. Overshadowing all of that was the knowledge that he’s also gay. It was a struggle at times, but I knew I had to accept that part of him. When I first learnt it, I thought that was the only thing to consider, but as time went by I realised that it isn’t the major part of him. The only times I actually saw anything that reminded me of his orientation were when he was with Scott at home, or when some idiot spat abuse at him as they passed by him.
I still remember the pain in Adam’s voice when he told us he’s gay. I hadn’t taken it in at the time, but I haven’t forgotten. He’s bounced back a long way since then, but his attitude to life and the people around him is still being shaped by the fact that he’s gay and that everyone knows it. I’ve seen it in the classroom, where he tries to make sure he doesn’t give anyone any excuse for abuse. He used to be more relaxed and free to laugh and joke. That has changed. It might change back again, but he’s erected a wall that keeps most people at arms length. Scott, Randy, and, to some extent, my parents, are allowed inside that wall. I’ve managed to get to the stage of being allowed to sit on the fence. There are signs that I’ll be allowed in, too, but I still need to work on it.
Liz was probably also allowed inside Adam’s wall, but I didn’t know. I was hoping that I would be able to find out when I spoke to her. I felt a flash of pain and jealousy, which I quickly repressed. I had a good idea of why Randy had changed, and also what Adam and Scott were feeling, because I’d been one of those who’d represented the harsh side of society; one who’d helped Adam build that barrier to keep us out. I had done that from ignorance, but I’d hurt Adam and I was still paying the price for it. I don’t think I would have been as harsh on my brother Randy as I was on Adam, if he had announced he was gay, but that just further shows me how much society influences the lives of gay guys. Society doesn’t know Adam and Scott as well as I know them, so it will react in a more harsh and cruel way than I did.
It’s a sad fact that good and bad don’t balance out. The number of people who seem to be against Adam, to one degree or another, isn’t large. There are at least as many who support him. But as far as his peace of mind is concerned, the supporters aren’t enough to cancel out the detractors. He needs several people on his side for each person against him. Most have been indifferent, which is good, but not good enough. So far, he’s been tolerated, not accepted.
The more I thought about those things, the more Liz’s comments — the ones that lead to our breaking up — made sense. The problem wasn’t with Adam, but with peoples’ attitudes. Adam had never done anything to make me think he’d make a move on me, and I suspected he never would. Apart from handholding with Scott, and the occasional kiss, I doubted I’d ever see anything that would disturb me. At least I hoped I never would. I decided that if I never see or hear anything, and no one is hurt, I shouldn’t let anything Adam does in private mean anything to me.
Liz understood that instinctively, and I suspect Randy did, too. It took me a little longer to let it sink in. It also sank in that it isn’t just gays that are mistreated. There had been the fat guy — I felt guilty that I couldn’t remember his name — who had been picked on by almost everyone a few years back, before his family moved away. Anyone perceived as being different was a potential target. Conformity was the general rule at school, and pity anyone who was unusual in any way.
The next big challenge would be to work out how to pass my thoughts on to others, but I shied away from that. I was still coming to grips with them myself – I wasn’t ready to teach someone else.
My thoughts were still switching between Randy, Adam and Liz when I finally spotted the redhead I was looking for.
As I rose to my feet, I found myself paralysed with fear. Had she gotten the flowers? Was she going to speak to me?
Though I didn’t really believe it, I told myself that if she rejected me outright it would be time to move on. I’d try to start the communications again, and tell her that I was sorry. If that didn’t work, I would need to put her behind me, but I knew it wouldn’t be as simple as that.
“Come on, David,” Adam said encouragingly, “Giant and I will go over with you, but you have to do the talking.”
I gave him a weak smile. He grabbed me by the arm and I allowed him to pull me forward for a few steps, but then I took control of my body and forced it into action. Taking a couple of quick strides, I moved in front of the other two guys.
I was still about twenty feet away when Liz looked around and caught my eye. My stride faltered as I saw the surprise on her face. A smile was what I had been hoping for; a scowl or disgust was what I’d feared. I hadn’t considered surprise.
When she schooled her face into a neutral expression, I resumed my forward motion. It gave me hope that she was waiting to see what I would say.
“Hi, Liz,” I started faintly, cringing at the quiver I heard in my voice.
“Giant! What happened to you?” she asked, ignoring me completely.
I felt crushed. Pretending that I wasn’t even there was even more cruel than saying she didn’t want to see me anymore. It was as if she’d said it, and then taken it one step further and acted as if it was literally true.
I dropped my eyes to the ground and started to turn away, but Adam grabbed me by the arm. I looked up and saw him give me a faint smile and a shake of the head. Given that he’d been talking with Liz, I took his actions to mean that he wanted me to wait.
“Luke Williams and his mates ambushed me on the way home, last Friday,” Randy explained with a hint of hostility. He then gave a short chuckle. “I’m planning on letting everyone know, too. I want to see how many people think that fourteen-year-olds are fair targets for a thug like him.”
“Come here,” Liz said, holding up her arms.
Randy looked embarrassed, but he stepped forward and let her give him a hug. His face started to match the colour of his hair, but he didn’t try to pull away. She whispered something to him while she had him close, and he said something back to her. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and let him go.
She then turned and looked at me. For what seemed like an eternity, we just stared at each other.
“I’m sorry,” I said, hoping she hadn’t been too badly hurt by my behaviour.
Her expression didn’t change, and she just stood there.
“You were right,” I added, dropping my eyes to the ground. I couldn’t take that look anymore. If she didn’t say anything, I was going to walk away and try to accept that things were over between us.
“I got your flowers,” she remarked, as if that was just simply a matter of fact, and nothing special.
I quickly lifted my head. The left side of my mouth kept twitching up in a half-smile and then dropping back again as I nervously waited to see if she’d say anything more.
As the silence between us stretched on, a shout snapped our attention away from each other.
“Hey, Kennedy! Does your boyfriend like his new hair?”
Luke Williams was striding forward with a huge, and not particularly nice, grin. I was surprised that his cohorts weren’t with him. He obviously felt confident enough without their support.
Looking around, I saw that we were the centre of attention for a large group of students. Liz and I had been so wrapped up with each other that we hadn’t noticed the arrival of a bus and the subsequent whispering and staring at Randy’s hair.
Adam glanced around at the assembled students and then turned his attention to Luke.
“Randy is not my boyfriend,” Adam announced, louder than necessary. Everyone there could hear him. “He’s just a good friend who doesn’t care that I’m gay.”
Luke stepped forward menacingly. Adam took an involuntary step backwards before straightening up and glaring at the larger boy.
I quickly moved up next to him. This time I wasn’t going to leave him to face the bully by himself.
“Well, even if he’s not your boyfriend, he’s still in trouble,” Luke growled. “Running to the cops was not a smart thing to do!”
“Randy didn’t go to the cops. The rest of us got the police involved after you were so gutless to pick on a fourteen-year-old,” I interrupted, with a touch of nervous bravado. I thought the three of us could probably handle Luke, but he was one big, mean thug.
Luke turned on me. “The stick insect speaks!” he sneered. He reached out and grabbed me by my shirt and added warningly, “I like breaking sticks, so watch out.”
“Leave them alone, Williams! Pick on someone your own size, for a change.”
The strange voice from the crowd to my left distracted everyone. As one, we turned our heads to see a muscular, older student pushing his way through. Well over six feet tall, he towered above all of us.
I had no idea who he was. Regardless, I was thankful for his intervention. Luke can be very intimidating when he focuses on you.
“Piss off, Roberts. This doesn’t concern you,” Luke said, his attention firmly on the approaching guy. His grip on my shirt wasn’t slipping, though, and I was still petrified that he was going to thump me. The out-of-control edge to his behaviour was scaring me.
“Well, I’m making it my concern,” Roberts rasped, raising one eyebrow and crossing his arms. He was daring Luke to do something stupid.
Luke pushed me away. I staggered, but managed to avoid the indignity of falling to the ground.
“Don’t think this is the end,” Luke said to me, Adam and Randy, before turning and storming away. A young girl who wasn’t quick enough to get out of the way was knocked over as Luke passed her.
Roberts stared after Luke, keeping a careful and serious eye on what the bully was doing. He didn’t relax until Luke had disappeared around a corner.
“You guys okay?” he asked, dropping into a mildly concerned stance as he turned to look over at us.
“Thanks,” Adam said with a warm smile. “Yeah, we’re okay. He hadn’t been here long.”
“Good,” he said, returning the smile. “I’ll let you be, then.”
“Thanks, uh…” I said, holding out my hand tentatively. I was trying to work out what to call him. “Roberts” didn’t seem right, especially as that was what Luke had called him.
“Ty,” he said, shaking my hand with a strong grip. “Ty Roberts.”
“Thanks, Ty,” I repeated with a grin.
With that, he was off.
“Who was that?” Randy asked to the general surroundings as he stared after our disappearing rescuer. The crowd around us started to scatter as everyone realised the drama was over.
“Ty Roberts,” Adam replied facetiously. When Randy rounded on him, scowling, Adam added, “He’s the centre-half-forward of the same football team that Ian Ashton plays for on the weekends. He doesn’t play for the school — I don’t really know why.”
“How do you know all that?” Randy asked.
Adam gave a sheepish grin. “Things have been tense at home for a couple of years, so I used to go out on weekends to watch the local football matches whenever I could. It got me out of the house, and it was something my dad actually approved of, though he would’ve preferred me to be playing.”
I saw Liz standing beyond Adam, staring speculatively at the three of us.
Hesitantly, I stepped past Adam and stopped a few feet in front of Liz. At first, I looked her in the eye, but I couldn’t maintain that. Instead, I dropped my eyes down to her feet.
I just stood there struggling to work out if I should let Liz speak first or if I should say something. She got me out of that tight spot by speaking first.
“You hurt me, David,” she said softly. “You tore my heart out when you told me to go.”
She didn’t say it angrily. I looked up, hoping that might be a sign that meant we could rebuild. She had her arms crossed, clearly showing she wasn’t happy with me, but most of that didn’t reach her face. Her expression was one of gentle sadness. It might have been wishful thinking on my part, but it seemed there was a touch of hope in there, too.
“I didn’t mean to,” I said lamely. “Can we accept I made a mistake and just move on?”
She looked away.
“I don’t know,” she said slowly, making me tense up in fear of what might come next.
Turning back to me, she added, “I don’t ever want to go through that again.”
I nodded my head. There was nothing I could do but agree with her.
“I’m not sure I want to give you a second chance,” she continued quietly.
“I know,” I said quietly. “Trev told me.”
Her eyes flashed with anger. “Trevor has been told to mind his own business,” she stated firmly. “He is not to make my decisions for me!”
I started to feel confused. What was she trying to say?
As she began to seem more angry than sad or hurt, she looked past me to Adam.
“What do you think, Adam?” she asked. “He’s hurt you as much as he’s hurt me. Should I give him a second chance?”
I knew her well enough to know that Adam’s answer to that serious question wouldn’t make any real difference in her decision. She would make up her own mind. She was playing some sort of game with me, and I wasn’t sure where that would lead.
“David can be a real arsehole,” Adam said, without any heat, “but he can also change. He’s come around a lot over the last week. I’m giving him another chance, and I think he’ll prove to be a good friend.”
I twisted around and stared at him. While I’d thought we’d been rebuilding our relationship, I hadn’t realised that he thought that way about me. He gave me a faint smile and a nod, and I turned back to Liz, suddenly hopeful.
She glanced at her watch. “We’ll talk more at lunchtime,” she announced. “I’ve only got enough time to go to my locker before we have to get to class.”
I recognised the end of the conversation — she hadn’t really left any room for misunderstanding — but I couldn’t stop myself from asking one more thing.
“Can I sit next to you during our class?”
She had started to move away, but she paused at the question. After a moment, without looking back at me, she jerked her head stiffly up and down. While that wasn’t a gracious welcome, I grabbed hold of it with huge relief. She wasn’t blocking me out of her life.
We all headed towards the school buildings. As we reached them, Randy peeled off with Stu and Kevin, who’d appeared somewhere along the way. I hadn’t noticed when that was, but between Luke, Ty and Liz, I hadn’t been paying a lot of attention to what was going on around me. I was pleased to see that Randy wasn’t being left alone. Stu and Kevin weren’t exactly the best possible bodyguards for my brother, but they were better than leaving him by himself.
Liz disappeared shortly afterwards, heading towards her locker. I wanted to go with her, but I knew that would be pushing my luck. Although Liz had indicated that she was willing to give me another go, I had to be careful not to step over the line. I was very much on probation.
We headed to Adam’s locker first.
“What the fuck has happened here?” Adam asked to no one in particular, as he looked at his locker. It had been freshly painted.
“Someone had written something on it,” a mature voice remarked dryly behind us.
We turned around and saw Mr. Marshpool, known by all the students as Swampy — a name he didn’t seem to mind — standing nearby. Swampy is the school’s main maintenance man. He’s been there for years — he looks to be about seventy, not out — and he’s always around, fixing things. He never has a harsh word for the students, and he always listens respectfully to their comments. He won’t tolerate abuse, though, and he’s been known to physically drag students to the office when he’s caught them vandalising school property.
“When was this?” I asked.
“What did it say?” Adam asked at the same time.
Swampy gave a wide smile that showed all his crooked, nicotine-stained teeth.
“It was late last week, and I can’t tell you what it said,” he replied before leaning forward conspiratorially. “If I told you what was written, I’d be sacked for obscene language.”
Straightening up, he continued with a growl that I was glad was not directed at me. “If I find out who did it, they won’t be sitting down for a week, even if they aren’t expelled.”
He looked at Adam. “I believe this is your locker?”
Adam nodded slowly.
“Well, if you want a locker in a more secure area, just let me know,” Mr. Marshpool offered. “From what was written, I don’t think this will be the last incident of this type.”
“Thanks, sir,” Adam said with obvious heartfelt relief.
Mr. Marshpool stared thoughtfully at Adam. Just as Adam seemed to be getting uncomfortable, the maintenance man smiled and nodded his head.
“Just in case what was implied is true, I think I should let you know I’m happily married. I know I’m good looking,” he said with a completely straight face, “but I’m spoken for.”
Adam looked shocked at that, and I was a bit stunned, too. Swampy is anything but attractive. Gnarled and hunched over, he has more wrinkles than those shirts I’d had to iron the previous week.
Adam recovered first. “She’s one lucky lady, sir,” he said with a smile.
With a grin as an answer, Mr. Marshpool moved along. He must have been hanging around just to speak to Adam.
Adam took a couple of things from his locker, and then we headed to mine. I was uneasy until it came into view and I saw that it was in the same state I’d left it the week before.
With the morning locker ritual out of the way, we were ready to start school.
Our first class was English. Being an exam week, even if they were all internally set exams, our normal schedule had been changed. All morning had been set aside for our English exam. The next day we would have the entire first half of the day for our Maths exam, and then the same for our history exam the following day. The rest of the week we would revert to our normal morning timetable.
Liz was already in the room when we arrived. There was a subdued hush amongst the students. The usual banter was there, but it was being kept low-key. Several students appeared to be doing last minute cramming, something I couldn’t understand. After all, if they didn’t know it by then, trying to memorise it just before the exam wasn’t going to help.
I cautiously took the seat next to Liz. I gave her plenty of time to change her mind, but she just ignored me. Trying to be generous, I thought she was probably concentrating on the upcoming exam and didn’t want to be distracted by saying hello. Regardless, I still felt a wave of despair sweep over me.
Adam took the seat behind Liz, and Gary, who I hadn’t notice following us in, took the seat next to Adam.
It wasn’t long before the bell sounded and Mr. Landsmith walked in, carrying a large bundle of papers.
“Okay, class,” he started, “I’m going to hand out the exams. You are not to open them until I say.”
With that, he proceeded to walk down each row, handing out the exams. Once he’d finished, he went back to the front of the room.
“You have three hours to complete the exam. There will be no talking. If you have a question, raise your arm and I will come to see you.”
After a final glance around the room and a quick check of his watch, he nodded his head.
“You may now open the exam.”
I turned over the first page and started to quickly scan what we would have to do. There were the usual clear-thinking exercises, some book review type questions, and the mini essay that they always make us do. I checked the last one first, as I knew it would take the longest time to complete. It was also worth the most marks. “Comment on the incidence of ignorance and apathy amongst today’s youth.”
I felt a crazy urge to just write, “Don’t know. Don’t care.”, but while that might have been a wonderfully cute response, I knew the markers wouldn’t find it amusing, and it didn’t reflect my views on the subject.
I went back and started on the other items while letting the details of the essay brew in the back of my mind. With my family’s recent encounters with ignorant people, I knew I had something to write about. I just had to be careful I didn’t wander off onto prejudice and intolerance instead of ignorance and apathy.
I finished the other questions and started work on my essay. I decided I would tackle the subject by raising the question of who gets to decide what defines ignorance and apathy. After all, just because I don’t know something, that doesn’t make me ignorant. The essay’s subject implied that there were topics that someone had decided today’s youth should know and be active in. My response was that just because some topics mattered to other people, that didn’t mean they should matter to us.
I was doing a final review of the exam when Mr. Landsmith spoke up.
“Time’s up, everyone. Please bring the exams to the front. You can then leave for lunch.”
I was reasonably pleased with my work. I’ve always considered exams to be an unfair way of judging a person’s competence, as all they measure is ability under a time constraint. We were given no time to research the essay we had to write, and we had to write it without access to references. If they were marking on content, then that was grossly unfair. They always say that they mark on the presentation of the ideas, not the ideas themselves, but you always know that you have a better chance of a good mark if your opinions agree with those of the marker.
There was general silence, broken only by quiet muttering, until we were all outside.
“How do you think you went?” Gary asked me.
I shrugged. “I’m pretty sure I passed, but I’ll just have to wait to see how well I did. What about you?”
Gary looked concerned. “I don’t know. There were just too many things that weren’t cut-and-dried enough for me. I like things that are more concrete than English, which is way too subjective.”
We talked for a couple of minutes longer, with Adam putting in his two cents’ worth of comments as well.
I looked around for Liz and saw her talking to one of her girlfriends. I wanted to go up and interrupt, but I was too uncertain of what my reception would be. Instead, I just made sure I hung around within sight. Liz had said we’d talk at lunchtime, and all I could do was make sure she could find me when she was ready to chat.
She left me waiting for what seemed a long time, though any wait would have felt like an eternity. Adam and Gary tried to talk with me, and I know I responded, but I don’t recall what they said or anything that came out of my mouth. I was operating on automatic. Eventually, Liz wandered in our direction.
“Excuse me, guys,” I said as I started to move towards her. I heard a faint snicker behind me but I ignored it.
There was an awkward silence when we met up. Each of us seemed to be expecting, or wanting, the other to speak first. Before it dragged on for too long, I spoke up.
“Shall we sit down over there?” I asked, pointing in the direction of an empty bench.
“Okay,” she replied in a subdued tone.
Without speaking another word, we headed over and sat down. I took a deep breath and decided to give it a go.
“What do I have to do to fix things?”
She looked at me, and then stared across the school grounds.
“I have to regain my trust in you,” she replied quietly, after thinking carefully for some time. “I don’t know how you can make that happen.”
“Am I allowed to try?” I asked hopefully.
“Would I just be giving you another chance to hurt me?” she asked as she turned back to look at me. Her eyes glistened as she stared openly at me. “I trusted you with my heart. What will you do if I give it to you again?”
“I didn’t want to hurt you this time,” I said sadly. I dropped my gaze, unable to keep eye contact. “From what Adam’s told me, it was a big misunderstanding between us, not something either one of us intended.”
I sensed that she was going to say something, but I jumped in first. I didn’t want any more confusion.
“I’ll admit I was to blame for what happened, but I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“I know,” she whispered, and then fell silent. Despite the silence, I felt a surge of hope. We had made a start that left an opening for us to talk.
We ended up talking all through lunch, slowly and painfully at times, but neither one of us seemed willing to give up. I should have been staying close to Adam and Randy, but Liz was also important to me. I kept half an eye on where they were and what they were doing. I noticed that Michael was with them, as well as Scott and several of Randy’s friends. It looked like the two groups — Randy’s and Adam’s — had merged, at least for the day. There were also a bunch of older students in the vicinity all through lunch. Recognising Ian Ashton as one of those guys, I sent an unspoken thought of thanks to him. I was sure he had been responsible for Ty Roberts’ coming to the rescue that morning. Ian wasn’t taking an active role with Adam, but he was making sure he was around if help was needed.
Surrounding all of them was a swarm of students. They kept appearing and disappearing all through lunch. It was obvious that most, if not all, had just shown up to look at the kid with the pink hair. With the number of clear friends hanging with Randy, the curious just took a look and then left. I didn’t see any signs of taunting or other abuse, but most of my attention was on the girl beside me.
By the time the bell rang for our next class, Liz and I had agreed to keep talking. I wanted to ring her that night but she told me not to. She said she needed time to think, and when she was ready, she’d call me. Otherwise, she’d see me back at school the next day.
It was just as well that my next class didn’t have an exam, as I wasn’t up to doing much concentrating. We were putting the finishing touches on our stools in woodworking class. I took it easy and only did enough work so the teacher would leave me alone. Michael took the bench next to where I was working, but he didn’t say anything. I think he was waiting for me to speak first. Just before the end of the class, he finally spoke.
“Stick, I should warn you about some rumours I’ve heard,” he said quietly. The noise in the room ensured that no one would be able to overhear us.
“What rumours?”
“Luke Williams is out to get you and your brother in a big way,” he said, catching my eye to make sure I knew how serious he was. “He’s been heard talking about breaking all your bones.”
I looked down at my woodworking piece, but didn’t really see it.
“He made some threats this morning,” I remarked before looking back up. “Do you know if he’s said anything since, or if this is just a repeat of that incident?”
He frowned slightly as he considered that.
“What did he say?” he eventually asked me.
I gave him a summary of the morning’s encounter, and tried to remember Luke’s exact words. I know I didn’t get them quite right, but it was enough to make it clear to both Michael and me that the rumours might be just a rehash of that incident. However, they could’ve been from comments he’d made later, as well. With the rumour mill being what it was, it was hard to tell.
I thanked Michael for the information and made a mental note to pass on the warning to Randy. There was probably nothing in it, but it pays to be cautious.
My history lesson passed in a blur. There was going to be an exam later in the week, but I knew I would be able to get the notes from Adam, so I just sat and thought of other things. I mustn’t have been too obvious, as the teacher never bothered me the whole time.
I pulled myself together at the end of that class. In some ways, home time was one of the more dangerous periods for Adam and Randy. That was when their friends couldn’t be with them all the time, so I knew I would have to be more alert, just in case.
“How’s your day gone?” I asked Adam as we headed to our lockers for the last time that day. Gary was with us, but from the way his head kept twisting around I suspected he was looking more for Mary than for any potential trouble.
“Not too bad,” Adam replied with a mild grin. “It seems to come in waves, and this morning’s events must have made some people stop and think.”
“I wonder how Randy’s day has been,” I said.
“He was fine at lunchtime,” Gary replied. “Some of his friends are really cool. I think we should hang out together more often. His mate Kevin is amazing,” Gary continued with a touch of awe. “The stories he told us of things from World War II were incredible! He made it sound a lot more interesting than any of the teachers have ever managed to do.”
“Well, that’s because he only tells the interesting things,” Adam replied with a smile as we stopped at my locker. “The teachers have to pass on the boring stuff, too.”
“It would help if they’d tell us some of the good stuff,” Gary retorted. “I think their job is really to put us all to sleep, rather than to teach us anything.”
After unloading my bag of all the things I didn’t need and making sure I had my Maths textbook for study that night, I closed my locker and we continued on.
“Do you think Maria has the hots for Randy?” Gary asked out of the blue.
Adam and I both stumbled at the sudden change of topic. With a sideways glance at Gary, we continued walking.
“What makes you think that?” I asked.
“I didn’t,” Gary replied. “Mary made a comment to me after lunch. It was a little cryptic, but I believe that she thinks Maria wants Randy.”
A slow grin spread across Adam’s face.
“That’d be one way to prove he’s not gay,” he remarked. “Any ideas on what to do about it?”
“Don’t ask me!” I said in mock horror. “What would I know?”
I left unsaid that my recent track record with Liz was not very good.
Gary chuckled. “I’d leave it with Mary. Matchmaking is not one of my strong suits, either.”
“Okay, Gazza. Your homework is now to get Mary working as a matchmaker. Don’t stuff it up. We want at least a passing grade, here,” I said with a laugh.
We all knew we weren’t serious, at least not completely. I’d like Randy to get himself a girlfriend, and from what I know of Maria, she’d make him a good one, but you can’t force these things. It either happens or it doesn’t. Interference from the rest of us would likely stuff things up.
We caught up with Randy near the bus stop. His friends were all there, though one of them ran off to his bus as soon as we arrived. I noticed Ian Ashton and his girlfriend nearby. Michael was also hovering around, but he moved off after giving us a wave.
I watched Maria closely for the short time we had before we had to get on our bus. I didn’t see anything out of place, so if Mary had picked up on something it was probably something that only a girl would spot.
The students on the bus seemed to have moved on from the subject of Adam and Randy. Apart from one older girl who turned up her nose as she passed us, and a number of stares at Randy’s hair, we were all either ignored or greeted, as was normal.
Because of the previous Friday’s attack, we were all nervous when we got off the bus. Mum had earlier suggested she pick us up from the bus stop, but we had vetoed that. The last thing teenagers want is to be picked up by their mum — it would look too much like we were scared to walk home on our own.
As it turned out, we got home without incident.
With a Maths exam hanging over our heads first thing the next morning, Adam and I immediately hit the books. Randy also had some work to do, so we were all industriously studying when Mum came in.
“How did the day go?” she asked.
It was clear that she wasn’t just asking it as she normally did. This time, if we didn’t give a full and frank update, it would be time for a detailed interrogation.
All three of us teenagers exchanged glances. I was wondering whether or not to mention the incident with Luke Williams that morning, when Adam started up. I suppose he was still new enough to the family that he didn’t want to get into trouble for withholding information.
“Apart from a minor problem with Luke Williams before school, it was pretty quiet. I think all the older kids were busy with their exams and couldn’t be bothered with me,” he said before turning to Randy. “Did you cop any real abuse today?”
“Nope,” my brother replied nonchalantly. “It went pretty smooth.”
“What was that about Luke Williams?” Mum asked, her tone threatening dire consequences to someone. I hoped it wasn’t directed at us, but I knew that if she thought we were holding out on her, then we’d feel some of the backlash.
“He confronted us before school started, and made a comment about my hair,” Randy said, running a hand through his pink locks with a gesture that I thought he must have been practising. He must have done that a lot that day, to show that he wasn’t self-conscious about the colour.
“Luke wasn’t happy about the police becoming involved,” Adam added, not mentioning the threats. I interpreted the sideways glance he gave me as he was leaving it up to me whether or not to say anything. With a reassuring smile to my mum, he added, “Nothing came of it, because a football player friend of Ian Ashton intervened.”
Mum looked concerned at the summary. I thought she’d better get the full story. I knew that if Randy got hurt because I held back Luke’s threats, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.
“Luke Williams was threatening Randy for going to the police,” I said. “I don’t know how serious he was, as Ty Roberts stepped in at that point and made Luke leave.”
“Actually, Luke was threatening you, not me, when Ty stepped in,” Randy pointed out.
My brother needs to learn when to shut up. Up until then, Mum had only Adam and Randy to be concerned about. She didn’t need to start worrying about me, especially as I’m not the real target for Luke.
It was thirty minutes before we could get back to our study. Mum extracted out every detail of what had happened that morning. We learnt from her that as soon as the police had reasonable evidence that Luke was involved in the previous attack, the school would suspend him. If he was found guilty, he’d be expelled.
Until then, the school had agreed to keep her informed of any incidents, no matter how minor, and would also assign an extra teacher to watch over things on the school grounds during lunchtime.
I had to put up with Mum telling me to be careful. I felt like telling her that I’m sixteen and don’t need to be treated like a baby, but that would have only inflamed her more. She wasn’t angry with any of us; she told us she was just scared that one of her three boys would get hurt. I noticed Adam stiffen in surprise, and then blush, when she made that statement. I think it was sinking in that she really does consider him to be part of the family. I felt guilty at that, as I seemed to be the only one who was still having trouble thinking of Adam as a family member. A friend and guest, yes. My brother? Not yet.
At dinner that night, after the events of the day were recapped again, Dad changed the subject and gave us some more homework. I started to bristle, until he told us what it was. On Sunday morning he’d made us, individually, write up what had happened at the basketball game. His new assignment, for after dinner and before Scott and Chris showed up, was to practise running through our stories. We would need to be clear and unemotional when we presented to the tribunal the following night. Dad had already contacted Brendan and his dad. Chris and Mr. Ricardo were also planning on being there. Dad said that we might not all be called in, but it was better to have too many witnesses than not enough.
By the time Scott joined us in the lounge room, we were all slightly depressed. As we went through our stories, it became clear why Lawrence had thought Randy was going to hit him. It was going to be tough to prove that Randy had been heading to Adam, and not the ref, when he had charged onto the court.
Scott’s arrival shook us out of that mood. After talking about the tribunal for a few minutes, we changed the topic. Scott and Adam sat together on the sofa and Randy and I slouched in the chairs. I could hear Chris and Dad talking in the study. I guessed that they were talking about the tribunal, and what to do about the charge against Randy.
We spent twenty minutes chatting on typical teen things. The mood had lightened considerably when the phone rang.
With a quickly-yelled, “I’ll get it!” I went into the hallway and picked up the handset, hoping it would be Liz. While I hadn’t mentioned her all night to any of the others, the possibility of her ringing had been at the back of my mind the whole time.
“Hello… David Johnson,” I said as I walked back to the lounge room. If it was Liz, I’d go to my room to talk in private.
There was no response for about a second, and then I heard the ‘engaged’ signal. After looking at the phone for a moment, I shrugged my shoulders.
“Who was it?” Adam asked.
“Don’t know,” I answered, dismissing it from my mind. “Whoever it was, they hung up almost immediately.”
“I’ve heard about that,” Scott remarked. “Some of the tele-marketing companies have automated dialers, but if none of their people are free, the machine just hangs up.”
“Pity,” Randy remarked with a smirk. “Dad loves talking to those sorts of people. He has fun being perverse with them. Like, if they ask his name, he tells them that they rang him, so they should know it. He always tells us afterwards that he shouldn’t be like that, as they are just trying to earn some money, but he can’t help himself.”
The phone rang again. As I was still holding the handset, I hit the button to accept the call.
“Hello… Johnson residence.”
There was a pause. I thought I had another wrong call, or machine, when the other person spoke.
“Randy?” he said hesitantly.
“Just a moment,” I said, and held out the phone to my brother. “It’s for you.”
Randy took the phone and lazed back into his chair. “Randy,” he said.
He stiffened and sat upright. A flash of anger appeared on his face.
“No, Adam is not my boyfriend. How many times do I have to tell you people!”
Adam, Scott and I all straightened at that. I started to get to my feet, but then Randy relaxed.
“Sorry, but I’m a little sensitive about that. I’ve been dealing with too many idiots recently,” he remarked into the handset, as he waved a hand to indicate that we should all relax.
While Randy listened to whoever was on the phone, I slouched back into my chair. Adam settled down, too, while Scott leant against his boyfriend’s shoulder. Adam quickly moved that arm so it could drape around the back of Scott’s neck.
Suddenly Randy stiffened again. That time his expression showed panic. As he glanced wildly around, his mouth opened and closed several times. He took the phone away from his ear and looked at the handset in disbelief, then returned it to his ear.
“No, no,” he said quickly. “You just surprised me, that’s all.”
He paused and bit his lower lip. He didn’t see the rest of us anymore — he was staring out into space. I was perched on the edge of my seat, trying to guess in what direction the conversation was going. He didn’t look frightened or angry, but whatever had been said had startled my brother.
“Yeah, I’d like to do that, Tony, but I have to be up front with you. The rumours are wrong. I’m not gay.”
He took the handset from his ear and looked at it oddly.
“He hung up,” he remarked, puzzled about something.
“What was all that about?” I asked quickly.
Randy came slowly back to our planet. He looked around at each of us, as if he was trying to work that out for himself.
“Some guy from school named Tony just asked me out on a date,” he replied, shaking his head in a confused manner.
Copyright Notice — Copyright © July 2005 by Graeme.
The author copyrights this story and retains all rights. This work may not be duplicated in any form —physical, electronic, audio, or otherwise —without the author’s expressed permission. All applicable copyright laws apply.
Disclaimer: All individuals depicted are fictional, and any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental.
I would like to express a special thank you Ryan H., and also to everyone at The Mail Crew. The help they have given me with this story has been fantastic. Special kudos go to Aaron for doing a brilliant job of editing. I can thoroughly recommend their website to all teenagers who are gay, lesbian, bi or not sure.