Leopard Spots

Chapter 32

Todd smiled as he shook Bruce Bellweather’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”

“Please, call me Bruce.” His eyes flicked towards Liam. “Though, I’m not sure why it’s a pleasure, given my son’s actions.”

Todd frowned, uncertain as to how to continue. “Maybe if you gave me a summary of what Liam’s done, we can compare notes?”

Bruce chuckled at the look on Liam’s face. “Someone doesn’t seem too happy with that suggestion, which tells me it’s a good idea. Take a seat, and I’ll start. Liam, why don’t you get your mother? You can take over getting dinner ready while she joins us.”

Liam swallowed and then gave his father a weak smile. “Sure, Dad.”

Bruce waited for Liam to leave before turning his attention back to Todd. “Please, sit down. At heart, he’s a good kid. He just acts immature at times.”

Todd shrugged before taking a spot on the Bellweather’s living-room couch. “We all do. Some don’t grow out of it, at least not completely.” He smiled. “To be honest, I wasn’t particularly mature at the start of this year, either. I had a very playboy attitude.” He stood up again as Liam’s mother entered the room. “Mrs. Bellweather, I’m Todd Underwood.”

She smiled. “I’m Elizabeth, but everyone calls me Beth. Pleased to meet you. I’ll admit that I was quite concerned when Liam said he wanted to meet someone who was effectively a complete stranger. I’m really glad you agreed to come here to meet us.”

After Todd and Beth were seated, Bruce continued the conversation. “You were talking about maturity. Did something happen to you?”

Todd grinned. “Yeah, I met someone special.” He glanced towards the kitchen and raised his voice slightly. “That’s why I’ve got hopes for Liam if he’ll learn not to eavesdrop.”

Bruce leapt to his feet. “Liam!”

“Please, let him be. He’s still young.” Todd smiled. “Given that the shadow by the door has disappeared, I think he’s gone.”

“I certainly hope so or dinner will be ruined.” Beth stared at the door in question and then chuckled. “But I know what you mean about maturing. Bruce was the same when I met him.”

“That was a long time ago,” Bruce protested. “Things are different now.”

“Not that different,” Todd said. “You were going to fill me in on what you know of what he’s up to.”

The three spent the next fifteen minutes comparing notes, punctuated by the occasional break as Beth checked up on Liam in the kitchen to make sure there were no problems with dinner.

“Liam needs to come clean with Neil.” Bruce scowled. “I hadn’t realised it had gone as far as it has.”

“I agree. Neil’s going to take it hard; he’s really fallen for Liam’s fake online self.”

“I know,” Liam said as he stepped into the room. “That’s why I want Todd to be there when I tell him. Neil’s going to need support.”

Bruce frowned. “How long have you been listening?”

Liam shrugged, not meeting anyone’s eyes. “On and off, all the time. I just moved away any time I heard someone getting out of their chair.” He looked up and stared at his father. “It was too important not to know what was being discussed.”

“He’s right,” Todd said, forestalling Liam’s father’s reaction. “I was going to ask for him to join us for the next part of the discussion. He’s involved in all of this, and we can’t make him do whatever needs to be done—not and have it mean anything. He has to agree to whatever is decided.”

“Dad, I want to fix this. I really want Neil as my boyfriend, but even more than that, I don’t want him hurt.” Liam winced. “At least not more than he’s going to feel after he learns the truth. I’ve made mistakes, and I’m in too deep. I need help.”

Bruce frowned but didn’t say anything. He just stared.

“Liam, what do you think is the best way to tell Neil?” Todd asked.

Liam pulled a face. “There isn’t any best way. He’s going to feel gutted no matter what. I think the real question is when do I tell him? I think a weekend is best so he doesn’t have to face school the next day.” He caught Todd’s eye. “What do you think: Friday or Saturday?”

“We’ve got a Sunday game this weekend, so I’d suggest Friday night.”

Liam cringed. “Tomorrow, then. At your place?” he asked Todd.

“That would probably be best. As soon as possible and where Neil can have friends around him. We should be back from training between seven and eight.” He turned to Bruce. “I’ll give you the address. Is that going to be okay with you?”

Bruce exchanged a look with his wife and then nodded. He frowned at Liam. “Do you realise that what you’ve done counts as cyber-bullying? You might’ve had the best of intentions, but by playing with Neil’s emotions, you’ve been bullying him.”

Liam winced. “Yeah…. I realised this week that things had gotten out of control.” He gave Todd a wry half-smile. “Todd brought things to a head when he worked out that I’m Alf. I’m still realising how badly I’ve stuffed things up, but thanks, Todd. Thanks in particular for not beating my head in. I’ll admit I was a little afraid…”

Todd chuckled. “I was never going to do that.”

Bruce Bellweather scowled. “Todd’s not the one you should be concerned about.”

Liam swallowed.

“Liam, we know your heart was in the right place, but your brain was disengaged. How did you expect this to turn out?” Beth smiled sadly. “He wasn’t going to suddenly change his mind about you, not after years of harassment.”

Liam grimaced. “I thought…” He shook his head. “You’re right. I wasn’t thinking.”

* * *

Ty grinned as he answered his phone. “Herr Kapitan!”

“This isn’t time for jokes, brat,” Todd said. “Something’s going to happen tomorrow night, and I need you at my place to give Neil support.”

Ty’s expression went serious. “What is it?”

“I don’t want Neil to know ahead of time, but the guy he’s been chatting with online is going to be coming around to see him.”

“Yes!” Ty then frowned. “Why does he need support?”

“I’m hoping I’ll be surprised, but I don’t expect Neil to take it well when he finds out who it is.”

Ty ran through his mental list of who Neil knew at school and made a guess. “The gay bully?”

“I don’t want Neil to know yet, but yes.”

“I think he should be told.”

“He’s going to find out tomorrow night. That’s why I want you there. He may not be impressed that I already knew.”

Ty frowned. “I know now, too.”

“But you didn’t organise this meeting. I did.” Todd hesitated. “Do you think you could put him up at your place if he cracks it?”

“Sure! He can sleep on the couch if he has to.”

“Thanks, brat. I’m afraid he’s going to get hurt, but it’s better to get it over and done with. Liam’s the one who suggested doing this on the weekend so Neil would have time to recover before he has to go back to school.”

“I’ll do what I can, but I’d prefer to not have him around on Saturday night. Karen and I are going out.”

“I’ll make sure that someone is there for him if he still doesn’t want anything to do with me.” There was a momentary pause. “I hope he doesn’t drop out of school over this. He’s only going because I insisted. If he’s pissed off at me, he might go back to his original plan: moving out and getting a job.”

“Don’t worry about it, Todd. If that happens, delegate the job of keeping him at school to some brat who’ll keep him in line.”

Todd’s relief was audible down the phone line. “Thanks, brat.”

Ty reverted to his mock German accent. “Ve vill make him learn, Herr Kapitan.”

“One more thing, brat…”

“Ja?”

“Roger told me that you’re the one who put my name forward for the rotating captaincy while he’s off injured.”

Ty chuckled. “You’ll be great, Todd. Look at what you’re doing now; you’re taking control and looking after everyone.”

“You’re a bastard, brat.” Todd’s tone indicated he wasn’t serious. “But I need your help with something.”

“Sure. Whatever you need.”

“What’s the footy equivalent of walking the plank? There’s someone who needs to be taught a lesson.”

Ty grinned as he put a poor pirate accent. “Aargh, Captain, go easy on the poor blighter. I’m sure he meant well.”

* * *

Charlie glanced up from his textbook when he heard the knock on his bedroom door. “Dave!”

“G’day, Charlie.” Dave’s tone was subdued. “Have you got a sec?”

Charlie pushed his book to one side and swivelled his chair around. “Sure. Take a seat.”

Dave closed the bedroom door and then sat on the edge of the bed closest to where Charlie was sitting. His body was slumped forward, and his eyes were on the carpet. “Thanks, Charlie.”

“Is there something wrong?”

Dave grunted. He looked up and gave Charlie a wry half-smile. “Just the same old problems.”

“How did your doctor’s appointment go today?”

Dave’s head dropped. “He says we’re making progress, but I don’t see it.”

“You have to trust him, Dave. He’s the expert.”

Dave glared at Charlie. “So was my last psychologist, and he didn’t help at all!”

Charlie held up both hands. “Steady, Dave. I know, but at least you’re talking about the right things now.”

The flash of anger disappeared as fast as it had appeared. Dave sighed. “I hate it.”

Charlie hesitated, unsure of whether Dave was referring to his psychologist visit or to the problem that required that visit. “It’s better to know what’s going on and deal with it, Dave. What happened before…” Charlie grimaced. “I don’t want you to go through that again.”

Dave shuddered. “Yeah, me, neither,” he said in a weak voice.

“It’s going to take time. There’s no easy fix for this.”

“I know. I just wish the police would get a move on. The doc said that getting closure will help me put things away and let me move on, but the police don’t seem to be doing anything!”

“Have you spoken to them?”

Dave gave a heavy sigh. “Yeah. They told me that they’ve tracked him down, so once they’re ready, they can arrest him, but they need more than just my word. They’re making discreet enquiries around my old junior football club to see if there are any rumours of anyone else being…you know. They won’t tell me what they’ve found, though.”

“They probably can’t. It’s probably considered to be collusion or witness tampering, and it could get the whole case thrown out. We don’t want that.”

Dave scowled. “No fucking way. I want that bastard to go down big time.” The scowl faded, and a faint smile appeared. “Thanks, Charlie. There’s no one else I can talk to about this.”

“The other guys would help out if you let them.”

Dave shook his head. “I know they would, but I can’t bring myself to say anything to them. It doesn’t feel right. You’re the only one I’m comfortable enough with to talk to.”

“If that’s what you want, I’m here.” Charlie smiled. “But the others would listen, too.”

“Thanks, Charlie.”

“How have you been, otherwise?” Charlie asked, more to be polite than expecting a serious answer.

Dave frowned. “What do you think of Jim being approached by Carlton?”

“I think it’s great!” Charlie paused as he took in Dave’s negative body language. “We all want the chance to play in the AFL, and it looks like someone’s noticed him.”

“But why him?” Dave grimaced. “He’s a good player, but he’s not the best in the team. Do you think it’s because he’s gay? Some sort of reverse discrimination?”

Charlie knew that Dave and Jim were the two strongest midfielders in the team, and it struck him that Dave was probably jealous. He tried to pick his words carefully. “That may’ve helped him get noticed, but the attention is good for all of us. To watch him play, they have to watch the rest of us, too. That puts all of us in the spotlight, and gives us a chance to show what we’re capable of.”

Dave scowled. “The rest of you aren’t crazy. No AFL team is going to pick someone who’s under psychiatric care.”

“Dave, you’re seeing a psychologist not a psychiatrist. The AFL teams have their own psychologists; that’s not something unusual.”

“They’re sports psychologists not…the sort I’m seeing.”

Charlie suppressed a sigh. “They also have clinical psychologists, Dave. Think about some of the high-profile players that have had problems. Okay, it’s been mainly drugs, alcohol, or gambling, but some of them ended up being hospitalised. The AFL isn’t blind to the problem of mental health. They know it’s a high-stress job, and they look after their players.”

“Those were established stars, Charlie. The clubs had an incentive to get them better. They’re not going to spend time on someone who needs that investment now!”

Charlie tried to give Dave an encouraging smile. “You don’t know that. And you’re getting better; we can all see that. Just keep playing the way you are. You’ll get noticed. I won’t say that that will be enough to get drafted, but you can’t say you’ve got no chance.”

Charlie continued the conversation with Dave for several more minutes, trying to build up his teammate’s self-esteem. All the time, though, he was telling the little voice in the back of his mind to not get his own hopes up too high. He wanted to make it to the AFL, but when compared to the other players in the team, he didn’t think he was good enough.

* * *

Deon sat across the small bistro table from Pamela. Both of them had been avoiding the subject that they knew had to be discussed. They had both apparently enjoyed the meal, but Deon knew that from his side, he had been putting on a show. The tension between them told him that his girlfriend had been doing the same.

“Pamela, I…” Deon made himself go on. “I do love you. I don’t want us to break up.”

She sighed and wouldn’t meet his eyes. “But you love your football more.”

“No!” Deon reached over the table to take her hand. He relaxed slightly when she allowed it. “Football is important to me, but so are you.”

Pamela looked up. “But football takes first place.”

“That’s not true!”

She cocked her head. “How many times have we not gone to a party because you had a football commitment? How many times have we gone, but you didn’t drink because you had a game or training coming up? How many times have you cut short a date or shown up late because of something to do with football?”

Deon winced. The accusations were too accurate. “I’m sure we can work around that. We can make time for those things.”

Pamela shook her head. “Are you listening to yourself? You’re not making me the priority. You’re still making football a key part of the relationship.” She dropped her head. “And you shouldn’t change that. Football is important to you. It’s part of who you are.” She looked up and smiled sadly. “I’m sorry, Deon, but I can’t share you that much. You need your football, but I needed you. Something had to give, and I knew it wouldn’t be football.”

“I…” Deon’s voice drifted off as he realised how little he was able to do.

“Look at tonight. I originally suggested having dinner at six. You asked for it to be later because you were practising your kicking until it got dark.”

“I had to! With Roger injured, the team needs me to be able to kick goals. I’m not good enough at the moment. I need to practise!”

She smiled. “I know. But the writing’s on the wall. I want more of you than I’m going to get. You’re a great guy, Deon. You showed that at the start of the year with all the attention you lavished on me. But when the footy season started, you backed off. I felt jealous. At first I thought it was Denise-”

“I never had feelings for her! It was just something I had to do!”

Pamela sighed. “I know. In some ways, that makes this even harder. Once I got my head around the fact that you were caring for her because of what your mother went through when Sam left her for Marcus, I thought everything would go back to the way it was. But it didn’t. Jim left Denise because he’s gay and he’d found himself a boyfriend. You saw how shattered she was, and you did what you could to help her. That should’ve made me feel great to see how loving and caring my boyfriend was. Instead, I was still angry and depressed.”

“Pamela, I…” Deon pulled a face as he struggled to find something to say.

“It’s okay, Deon. It’s taken me awhile to work out why, but I’ve got it now. It’s not your fault, but I’m going through the same thing that Denise went through, though in a much milder form. You’re in love with something else, and it’s not someone I can compete with, just like Denise couldn’t compete with Tony. You love footy, and that’s going to be your first love for a long time to come.

“I’m sorry, Deon. I’m not able to take second place to a football. I want more of you than you’re able to give, so I’m stepping away before I get any more hurt than I am right now.”

Deon swallowed as he found his mouth had suddenly gone dry. “Pamela, please don’t go! We can get through this.”

She shook her head as she stood up. “Sorry, Deon. I really wanted this to work out, but it’s not going to happen.” She moved around and gave him a light kiss on the lips. “You’ll find someone stronger than me. Someone who doesn’t need you as much as I do. But I can’t do it. Goodbye.”

Deon watched as she walked away. His mind was numb, but he didn’t fight any more. He knew she was right.

* * *

“Ryan, have you got a few minutes?”

Ryan muted the television and smiled up at Deon. “Sure, mate. What’s up?”

Deon dropped into the seat next to Ryan. “I need some advice.”

Ryan hesitated before responding. Deon had a definite negative aura around him. “Dad’s better at advice than me. He’s in his room, though he might be on the phone to Tony.”

“This isn’t something he can help me with.” Deon slumped forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he stared at the well-worn, lounge-room carpet. “Pamela broke up with me tonight.”

“Ah…” Ryan had been aware that there was tension between the two of them, but he hadn’t realised it had gotten that far. “I can be a good listener if that’s what you want.”

Deon turned his head to look at Ryan. “How do you and Fiona cope with the demands of football? Pamela said she couldn’t take second place, but I don’t want to give up playing.”

Ryan smiled. “Fiona is a very independent woman. She has her own interests that occupy her a lot of the time. That means we have two separate lives, but we do our best to try to make sure we don’t head in different directions. She has her life with her horses. I have my life with football. But we both share other things.”

Deon grunted. “Pamela wanted me more than that.” He sighed. “I couldn’t choose between her and footy, so she made the choice for me.”

“Cheer up, mate. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you, but you’re still young. There will be other girls. Now that you know, you just have to keep an eye out for someone who won’t need you to be there for her whenever she wants.”

Deon scowled. “Pamela wasn’t like that! She just…”

Ryan smiled. “She just wanted more than you were prepared to give.”

“Karen’s strong. Tony stands on his own two feet, too.” Deon grimaced. “Even Helena doesn’t demand that much of Ollie.”

Ryan chuckled. “Well, she does, but Ollie’s always willing to give her what she wants.”

Deon smiled. “Yeah, that’s true. But I want someone who’s got more going for her than sex.”

“Don’t write off Helena too easily. She’s a strong girl in her own right. She picks a target, and she goes out and gets it. But she doesn’t interfere with Ollie’s football; she works around that.”

Deon frowned. “What about Lorraine? We all know that she’s not strong. Is Todd heading towards disappointment?”

Ryan shook his head. “That’s different. Todd’s got his life very much in balance between work, footy, and personal stuff. Lorraine has her kids, and they’re the things that keep her occupied when Todd can’t be there. However, if push came to shove, Todd would give up football. Lorraine would never ask it, but if he saw a conflict, she’d take priority.”

Deon blinked. “Are you saying that Todd might quit the team?”

“He might, but I don’t expect it to happen anytime soon.” Ryan smiled. “As I said, Todd has got his life in balance. He can manage work, football, and a family. Lorraine may be emotionally fragile, but when it comes to her kids, she’s tough. She has to be; she’s been a single mum for years.”

Deon stared for a moment and then nodded. “Yeah, being a single mum isn’t easy, but they make do.” He smiled. “My mum taught me that.”

* * *

Maria smiled across the table as she spoke into the microphone. “Okay, listeners, we’re here with Paul Crowman and Jim Henderson from the Lilydale Leopards Football Club. However, before we get into the Pride FM footy tips for the weekend games, we’ve got a few questions.”

Paul chuckled. “You always have questions.”

Michelle winked. “Joe pays us to ask them so you stay longer. That way he gets more time to drool over you guys.”

Paul glanced at Joe, the Friday morning show’s producer, who was sitting in the booth just outside the Pride FM recording studio. “Joe, I keep telling you: I’m straight and Jim’s taken.”

Michelle grinned as Joe shrugged philosophically. “He knows, but he can’t help looking. Anyway, after that dramatic TV broadcast on Monday night, what we all want to know: how is Neil Rosewood, the young boy with the homophobic parents? Jim?”

“He’s doing well from what I know, but Paul’s better off answering the question. I’ve only seen Neil a couple of times since then. Paul sees him every day.”

Maria raised an eyebrow. “How come?”

Paul grinned. “Neil lives with Todd, Ollie, and me. He’s doing fine. It’s a bit of a shock for him, moving out of home and learning how much he now has to do for himself, but he’s coping well. He’s certainly much more relaxed than when I first met him. Getting away from his parents has made a world of difference.”

Michelle scowled. “I have to admit that when I saw that picture of Neil after his father hit him, I was ready to throttle someone. His parents are bastards.”

Paul shook his head. “I’ve met them, and things are more complicated than that. There’s no doubt that they’re homophobic —Neil’s father, in particular—but I saw plenty of signs of love and concern for Neil when I was at their place. This was before he was hit, of course.”

Maria frowned. “Are you defending what they did?”

“Never!” Paul grimaced. “All I’m saying is that it’s not black and white. I think there’s a chance that Neil’s parents will come around and be able to accept him for who he is.”

Jim nodded. “I agree with Paul. Neil’s mother has been to the club a few times since Monday night, trying to see him. She’s told me that while she’s unhappy with what’s going on, she still loves him.”

“She spoke to you? She knows who you are?” Maria asked.

“Yes, to both questions. She doesn’t approve of homosexuality, but she’s separated that in her mind from her love for her son. She does love him; I’ve got no doubt about that in my mind at all. He just can’t live with them.”

“You’ve mentioned Neil’s mother, but what about his father?” Michelle asked.

Paul and Jim exchanged looks. Paul nodded towards Jim, silently asking him to take the question.

“I haven’t seen him since last Friday when he came to the club looking for his son. He made it quite clear that he blames me for what’s happened, and that TV report showed the same. He said then that he regretted hitting Neil, and I believe him, but he was still violent on Friday when I saw him. I wouldn’t want him seeing Neil without a few strong blokes nearby for protection.”

Michelle looked towards the booth and smiled. “Listeners, Joe is sticking up his hand and pointing towards himself. Joe, Jim said he wanted some strong guys to protect Neil. I don’t think you qualify.”

Joe leant forward, flicking a switch to activate the microphone in front of him. “That’s okay. I’ll be there to supervise. Someone needs to keep an eye on guys like Paul and Jim to make sure they don’t get into trouble.”

Paul chuckled. “Thanks, Joe, but I think we can manage.” He turned back to Michelle. “Neil’s going to be fine. His parents have backed off and aren’t harassing him. He’s got the support of the club, and the school is also protecting him. He’s still getting used to sharing the chores at our house, but he’s not complaining, and he’s getting his homework done. He’s doing well. He’s even found someone at school that he’s starting to date.”

Maria grinned. “And on that good news, it’s time to return to the footy. With a third of the teams having a bye this week, we only have six games to preview. Round 8 kicks off tonight in Sydney with the game between the Sydney Swans and Hawthorn. Paul, what do you think? Will the Swans be too much for the Hawks, or will last year’s Premiership winners triumph?”

Paul glanced down at his notes. “They’re both very strong teams…”

* * *

Ty grinned as he stretched back in his chair and patted his stomach. “Great meal, Ollie. I’m going to have to visit more often!”

Oliver shrugged. “Lasagne’s a common meal around here on a Friday night.” He winked at Helena. “It’s important to get plenty of carbs to keep the energy levels high.”

Todd chuckled. “Let me guess: you’re planning lots of cardio work for later tonight?”

Oliver grinned. “Yep!” He leant over and gave Helena a kiss. “Even better, we don’t have a curfew to worry about.”

Paul rolled his eyes. “I’ve never noticed you worrying about that in the past. Why should tonight be any different?”

Neil smiled as he watched his housemates, Ty, and Helena chatting. It had been a week since he had moved in with Todd, Oliver, and Paul, but his old life already seemed distant. The dynamics in the house were so much more lively than those at home with his parents.

He frowned momentarily as he thought of his mother. During the week, she’d sent him over a thousand dollars. The last time had been that night at training. She had tried to give it to him personally, but he had avoided her. He wasn’t ready to speak with her, and he kept his distance. Once it had become clear he wasn’t going to let her approach him, she had left the money with Julie, Paul’s sister and one of the Leopards’ assistant coaches.

“Hey, what’s up, mate?” Ty asked him.

“Just thinking about my mum. How she’s been coming to the club to see me.”

“You’ll have to talk to her eventually.” Todd smiled. “But no rush. I think she realises you need time.”

Neil screwed up his face. “Lots of time. Lots and lots of time.”

“She’s still your mum, mate.” Ty rested a hand on Neil’s shoulder momentarily. “Have a chat with Deon sometime about the problems of holding onto your anger.”

“How are things going there?” Helena asked. “And do you know if Sam and Marcus will be down this weekend?”

Ty shrugged. “Okay, I think. Deon isn’t as one-eyed against his old man as he used to be. He still has his moments, but overall I think they’re working things out. I’m not sure, but I think Deon’s dad will be flying in either next weekend or the one after. They’re not down here this week.”

Once the last person was finished, Neil started to clear the table. He had assigned himself the job of cleaning up after dinner, though the others always helped. It was his way of thanking the guys for giving him a place to live. He was still packing up the dishwasher when he heard the doorbell ring.

“I’ll get it!” Todd quickly left the room.

A minute later, Todd stuck his head in from the lounge room. “You’ve got a couple of visitors, Neil.”

Neil glanced at Paul who smiled. “You go. I’ll finish up here. There’s not much more to do.”

“Yeah, get going.” Oliver winked. “Helena and I will see you in the morning.” When Paul rolled his eyes, Oliver, without even looking, raised his middle finger in his taller housemate’s direction.

Neil chuckled since he knew Oliver and Helena would be disappearing as soon as the after-dinner chores were completed. “Thanks, guys, Helena.”

“I’ll come with you.” Ty put down the tea towel he had been using. “Guests aren’t supposed to be doing chores, anyway.”

Paul chuckled. “Brat.”

Neil wiped his hands and then headed out of the kitchen. He’d taken one step into the other room before he realised who was there. “You!”

Liam gave him a nervous grin. “G’day, Neil.”

Neil glanced at the vaguely familiar older man behind Liam. He’d seen him before at various school functions over the years, but it was only then that Neil realised he must be Liam’s father. Not wanting to create a bad impression in front of Todd and Ty, he made a conscious effort to avoid swearing. “What do you want, Liam?”

Liam’s head dropped slightly, so Neil couldn’t see his eyes. “I’ve come to talk. I made a promise to you, and I’m here to keep it.”

“You haven’t promised me anything.” Neil glared. “Why don’t you just go home and leave me alone?”

Liam glanced over his shoulder and received a nudge from his father in response. Liam made a face as he turned back to Neil. He took a deep breath. “Alf promised to explain what was going on between him and me. That’s why I’m here.”

Neil swallowed. He had suspected that Alf and Liam had had a relationship, but he didn’t know to what extent or whether they were still close. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“Alf is…” Liam ran a hand through his hair. “That is…”

“Just tell him, Liam,” Mr. Bellweather said. He smiled at Neil while still speaking to Liam. “Get it out in the open. It’ll be best for everyone.”

Neil glanced at Todd and then over his shoulder at Ty. Both of his friends smiled encouragingly. Ty tilted his head towards Liam, so Neil turned his attention back to his school classmate.

Liam grimaced. He looked up, an expression of fear and pleading on his face. “I’m Alf.”

Neil stood there, stunned. He then scowled. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Liam. You’re not Alf!”

Liam seemed to crumble. He dropped his head, and he half-turned away. “I’m sorry, Neil.”

“Get out! You’re a fucking liar, Liam. You’re not Alf!”

Neil felt an arm go across his shoulders. He glanced up to see Todd giving him a sad smile. “I’m sorry, Neil, but he’s telling you the truth. I wasn’t around for dinner last night because I was at his place talking to his parents about this. Liam’s the one you’ve been chatting with online.”

Neil stared and then angrily pushed Todd’s arm away. “No! It can’t be. Alf is….” He glared at Liam. “He’s not you!”

Ty stepped between the two of them. “Calm down, everyone. Neil, why don’t you take a seat while we sort this out. Liam, if you and your dad would like to sit over there, I think we’d all like to understand what’s been going on.”

Neil dropped into the nearest chair and crossed his arms. He scowled at Liam while his mind went crazy. He didn’t want to believe Liam. He was trying his best to believe that Liam was lying, but there was an undercurrent of fear that suggested that he might be wrong.

* * *

Todd glanced at the closed bedroom door. “I hope he’s going to be okay.”

Ty shrugged. “He told me he just wanted to be alone. He’s devastated, but I think he just needs time. Neil’s stronger than he thinks.”

“I hope so.” Todd grimaced. “I still think I should stay.”

“Neil told you he’ll be fine. Go to Lorraine’s place like he suggested. You can check up on him tomorrow morning.”

Todd gave his bedroom door one last worried look and then nodded to Ty. “Okay, I’ll see you later. Can you remind Neil that I won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon? Sean’s got AusKick tomorrow morning, and I’ll be there with him, but I’ll call Neil first thing in the morning before we head off.”

Ty smiled. “I’ll do that. Now go!”

Ty waited until Todd was out of sight and then knocked on the door. “Neil?”

“Go away, Ty,” was the muffled response.

Ty frowned and opened the door. He stepped into the dark room and flipped on the light switch. Neil was lying face down on Todd’s bed, his head buried in a pillow.

Neil looked up. His eyes were red and his face was distraught. “I told you to go away!”

Ty closed the door and then sat down next to Neil. “Mate, you’re in big trouble. How many times have I told you that my name’s not Ty?” He grinned and gave Neil a gentle jab in the ribs.

Neil buried his head again. “I’m not in the mood, Ty.”

Ty gave Neil a shove. “Move over.”

After a moment’s hesitation Neil shuffled his body away, leaving room for Ty to lie on his back next to him.

Ty stared up at the ceiling. “I don’t know what it’s like, but-”

Neil pushed himself up onto on elbow and glared. “It’s like my life is a fucking wreck. Everything that can go wrong has! Anytime something good starts, something worse happens. Why can’t I get a fucking break?”

Ty sighed as he watched Neil collapse, this time onto his back. “Mate, life pulls some pretty shitty things on us at times. I’ve had some happen to me, too. But the idea is to not give in, but to move on. You’re not alone, Neil. You’ve got me. You’ve got Todd. Hell, you’ve got the entire team! You mightn’t have a boyfriend, but that’ll happen in good time.” Ty chuckled. “I only found Karen a few months ago, but she was worth waiting for. Jim had to wait until he was twenty-one before he found Tony. Don’t be in too much of a rush, mate.”

“Why does it have to be so hard?”

Ty was pleased to hear the hysterical edge to Neil’s voice had gone. His young friend still sounded depressed, but Ty considered that to be normal for the circumstances. Deon had been the same the night before when he told Ty that Pamela had broken up with him.

“Neil, I don’t have your history with him, but I thought Liam seemed distressed tonight. He wasn’t playing around; he honestly wants to date you.”

“Yeah, I know. And if I met him now, I might do it.” Neil’s fists clenched as he scowled at the bedroom ceiling. “But I’ve got that history. He picked on me for five fucking years! I can’t simply forget that. Then he played with me online. He knew what he’d done; he knew how I felt. And he still did it!”

“Did what?” Ty could guess at the answer, but he wanted Neil to say it.

“He made me fall for him.” Tears started to drip from Neil’s eyes, and a shudder ran through his body. “He almost made me love him!”

Ty watched as Neil curled himself up into a ball and sobbed. He reached out and put a hand on Neil’s shoulder. Realising that it wasn’t enough, he rolled over and draped an arm across Neil’s body while whispering mindless soothing words. Ty was uncomfortable—he wasn’t used to giving that type of emotional support to another guy, especially to one who’s gay—but he had decided that Neil needed to know that his friends cared.

A minute later, Neil pulled away. “Thanks, Ty.”

“What did I tell you about that name?” Ty grinned.

Neil smiled weakly back. “Thanks, brat.”

“Much better.” Ty rolled off the bed and then smiled down at Neil. “Can you do me a favour?”

“What is it?”

“Don’t close the door.” When Neil glanced to the bedroom door, Ty expanded on his comment. “Liam’s made mistakes. Fucking huge ones, but at the moment his intentions seem good. You don’t have to let him in, but don’t shut him out completely. People can change, Neil. Hell, I’m a good example. If I was still the way I was at the start of the year, I’d be laughing at you right now. There’s no way I’d have any sympathy for you.”

Ty sat back on the edge of the bed. “But I’ve changed. Dad got through my thick skull that not everything is about me. There are other people in the world that matter.” He grinned. “I was a stubborn, selfish son of a bitch, but Dad fixed me up. Well…at least part of the way.” Ty winked. “I still have my rough edges, like always wanting to be right.”

Neil stared up at him, his forehead wrinkled.

“Hey, that was your cue to tell me that I really am always right!” Ty poked Neil. “Well?”

Neil gave a soft chuckle. “You’re not always right, brat.”

Ty threw up his hands in mock disgust. “Fuck! Someone else I don’t have fooled. That’s it, I’m out of here.” He didn’t move from the bed. After a moment, he continued in a gentle tone. “If I can change—and I’m telling you I was really bad before—so can Liam. I think he’s a long way along that road already. You might not be ready to accept him, but don’t shut him out completely. Leave the door open.”

Neil scowled and then sighed. “I’ll think about it.”

Ty stood up again. “You’ve got my number if you want to talk again later. I’m heading home. Don’t forget that Todd will be taking Sean to AusKick tomorrow morning, so he won’t be back until later. He did tell me he’d call you early tomorrow, though.”

Ty was at the door before Neil spoke again. “Thanks, brat.”

Ty smiled over his shoulder at the young guy still lying on the bed. “Anytime, mate.”

* * *

Liam stared at the computer screen, trying to motivate himself to do something about his homework. He had managed to do bits and pieces, but he was unable to muster the concentration needed for most of the tasks outstanding.

He swallowed when he saw Neil sign on to the instant-messenger server. He watched, waiting for Neil to say something, but after several minutes it was clear that Neil wasn’t going to be the one to start the conversation. Liam felt like an idiot while doing so, but he opened a chat window and started typing with his fingers crossed.

Alf: Neil?

Liam waited. He thought that the fact that Neil had logged on was a positive sign. The lack of communication wasn’t encouraging, but Liam held onto the belief that Neil wanted to chat…somehow.

After a couple of minutes, Liam typed in another message, still using crossed fingers.

Alf: I’m sorry.

This time there was a response a few seconds later.

Neil: You bastard.
Neil: I thought I liked you.
Neil: I thought I might’ve found someone I could spend my life with.

Liam sat nervously waiting for Neil to finish. He wanted to jump in, but he knew he had to let Neil get things off his chest first. Those last two statements had Liam both happy and worried. Happy, in that Neil seemed to share the same feelings that Liam had. Worried, because it was past tense.

Neil: I used to think that Doug was the person at school I hated the most.
Neil: I was wrong. It’s you!
Neil: Doug just played with my mind and tormented me a bit.
Neil: You grabbed my heart and ripped it to shreds.
Neil: I hate you!

Liam started to type quickly. He wrote about how wrong he had been, but he had been desperate, that he had wanted Neil to get to know him without the history between them.

Before he could send it, Neil signed off. Liam hesitated and then sent the message anyway. Neil would get it the next time he signed in. If there was a next time.

Just in case, Liam also sent the message via an email to Neil. He grinned when a reply came back almost straight away, but that faded when he read the email.

I hate you. I don’t want to hear from you again. Go away.

He sent another email, but received the same message. When the third email’s immediate response was identical, Liam realised that Neil had set up an automatic reply; he wasn’t reading the emails. He tried again, but using his own email address instead of Alf’s. When there was no reply after a minute, he smiled faintly. There was a chance he could still talk to Neil.

That hope died when a reply came back.

I hate you. I don’t want to hear from you again. Go away.

Liam tried again. This time the response was immediate and identical. Neil had set up an automatic reply for that email address, as well.

Liam stood up and moved to his bedroom door. He stared, unseeing, for a moment and then started beating on the door. “Fuck you!” He kept hitting and screaming until the door started to open towards him.

“Liam?” His father’s voice was surprisingly not angry.

Liam slumped to the floor, his back to the door, preventing his father from entering. “Fuck!”

The door was forced open, but Liam didn’t care. He held his knees to his chest as he stared at the mental images of him and Neil that were not going to be. “Fuck!”

Liam felt himself being held and then being helped upright. He didn’t care. He let his body be taken over to the bed and laid down. He rolled over so his back was to his father. There was nothing more to say or do. He had fucked everything up. He had to move on, but it wasn’t the time. He just wanted to lie there and do nothing. Nothing, but dream of futures he had destroyed.

Disclaimer: Some public figures have been included in this story for effect. This is fiction, and the words and actions of those characters are mine and not those of the real person. All other individuals depicted are fictional, and any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental.

I would like to thank trebs, C James and MikeL for the advice they gave on early versions and rec for editing this story for me. A special thank you to ricky for that crucial final review before publication.

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