He had to throw himself into his football. It was the only way he could think of to avoid the turmoil that was churning through his mind.
Ignore everything else. That’s what he told himself. The only thing that mattered was football.
It didn’t help that Tony would be with the team in the club room after each training session. It didn’t help that he seemed to run into Tony whenever he was at the club for any other reason. It didn’t help that his dreams were dominated by one person.
He tried to make himself not look. He knew if he was caught staring, the truth would soon follow. He had to stop…but he didn’t know how.
The tricks he had used in the past to hide his sexuality from himself and from others were no longer working. He couldn’t put his heart into playing a role any more. He wanted to play himself, and that was the worst thing he could think to do.
He was starting to get desperate.
* * *
“Hi, Karen, Ty’s told me a lot about you.” Jim smiled at the young woman that Ty had just introduced to him in the club room after their Wednesday-night training session.
She smiled. “G’day, Jim. Ty’s told me a lot about you, too. Apparently, you’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him.”
Jim laughed when he saw Ty blush. “Funny, I got the same impression from him about you.”
Ty’s face went even redder before he turned and took a step away. “I’ll get you both some drinks. You wanted orange juice, Karen?” he asked over his shoulder.
“Yes, please.” Karen smiled at his back as he headed towards the bar.
“He’s a good guy — most of the time,” Jim said.
“So far, that’s the only version I’ve seen.” Karen looked up at Jim. “How often is he not good?”
Jim chuckled. “Any time he has to do something he doesn’t want to do.”
Karen grinned. “Sounds pretty normal to me.”
Jim looked past her and spotted Ryan, Deon, Jarrod and Charlie. He raised a hand to attract their attention.
“I’m guessing Ty hasn’t introduced you to anyone else yet.”
She smiled. “No. I had to meet ‘Dad’ before anyone else. For some reason, that was important to him.”
“He’s a brat.”
Karen laughed. “He told me you’d say that.”
“G’day, Jim. Do you want to introduce us?” Ryan asked.
“Guys, this is Karen. Karen, this is Ryan, Deon, Jarrod and Charlie,” Jim said, pointing to each of the guys in turn.
“So, you’re Karen,” Deon said with a smile. “Pleased to finally meet you.”
“Hands off her, Deon!” Ty said as he returned with a glass of juice and a can of beer. Handing the beer to Jim, he grinned. “I’m guessing Dad couldn’t wait to introduce everyone.”
Jim rolled his eyes. “Brat.” He frowned. “You’re not drinking?”
Ty shrugged. “I’ll have something with dinner. I can wait until then.” He glanced at Karen. “What’s wrong?”
Karen was staring at him with narrowed eyes. She was clearly unhappy about something.
“Karen, can I offer you a job?” Jim asked.
She tore her gaze from Ty. “What is it?”
“I’ve got a brat who’s not completely housebroken. He needs someone to slap him around a few times when he does something wrong. The lessons will sink in, but it takes time. He’s not malicious, just unthinking.”
Ty glared. “What the fuck have I done now?”
Karen flicked a glance at Ty and then grinned at Jim. “Sounds like a tough job. What’s the pay like?”
“You’ll need to negotiate that with the brat. He doesn’t have a lot of money, though, so he’ll probably have to find a non-financial form of compensation. I’ll leave that to the two of you to sort out.”
Ty looked at the two of them. “You’re just fucking with me.” He grinned. “At least it’s cool that you’re hitting it off. You can stop the games now.”
Karen reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “We need to talk later about how you’re going to pay me, but I think I’ll take the job. You’re cute — most of the time.”
Jim chuckled at Ty’s confused expression. “Ty, you don’t own Karen. If anything, I’d say she owns you. You can’t tell other guys to keep their hands off her like you did with Deon; that’s her call, not yours.”
Ty’s eyes widened. “Sorry, Karen. I didn’t mean it that way. I wasn’t being serious; I was just letting Deon know that…” His voice trailed off.
“That I’m your property.” She smiled. “Dad’s right. I think it’s the other way around. I own you, and you have to do what I want.” She frowned and turned to Jim. “If I own him, then why the hell did I accept the job of looking after him?”
Jim laughed. “Because you’re a responsible adult who can’t resist the brat’s charms.”
“Changing the subject, Dad, what time are you picking up Denise?” Ty asked
“She’s going to meet us at the hotel at about quarter past eight. I was planning on leaving here in a couple of minutes so I can get changed before we head out for dinner.”
Ty glanced down at his own clothes and then at what Karen was wearing. “I think I’ll do the same.” Ty slipped an arm around Karen’s waist.
Karen grinned. “You’re a quick learner, Ty.” She glanced at the others who had been watching them with various levels of amusement. “Which of you guys are Ty’s housemates?”
Ryan smiled. “That’ll be me, Jim, and Deon.”
Ty waved a hand towards the other guys. “Jarrod and Charlie are the two I was with at the nightclub when I had the drinks spilt on me.”
“Ty told us that you work at the Royal Children’s,” Ryan said. “What do you do there?”
Karen smiled. “I’m a clerk in the medical-records department. Boring work, but I get good rates for working weekends.”
Ryan nodded. “I’m an orderly at the Box Hill Hospital, but I only do normal hours so I can be back in time for my club commitments.” He nodded at Ty. “Did he tell you the coaches have increased his training workload?”
“No, he didn’t.” She raised an eyebrow as she looked up at Ty. “I did notice that he started before almost everyone else, but I didn’t wonder why.”
Ty grinned. “They decided I’ve got a lot to learn, so I’m in remedial classes.”
Jim laughed. “Ty, I think that’s the first time that I’ve heard you being modest. Karen, the brat’s being trained as a utility player, which means he’ll be able to play in more positions in the game than most. If he can pull it off, and I think he can, it’ll be a big boost on his chances of being selected in the AFL draft in November.”
Deon winked. “He’s making the rest of us look bad, but he’s always been good at that.”
* * *
Roger grinned. “Did you guys meet Ty’s new girl?”
Tony snorted. “I think he insisted on introducing her to everyone. Anyone would think he was smitten. She’s a nice girl, though. If I was that way inclined, I’d be envious.”
Oliver laughed. “I don’t think there’s any doubt about either one. He’s smitten, and she’s a keeper.”
Zach shrugged, though he was grinning. “She’s not a patch on Angela.”
Tony chuckled. “Zach, everyone agrees that Angela is an absolute stunner, but being gay, I can look beyond a woman’s appearance. Karen’s only a bit above average in looks, but she has one of the warmest personalities I’ve met in a long time. Looks aren’t everything.”
Todd nodded. “I’ll agree with that, though if you tried telling Ty she’s not a beauty queen, I’d suggest you have your running shoes on, because he’ll be after you like a shot.”
Ollie shook his head. “I don’t think so. Ty’s changed. He’s a lot more tolerant and much less obnoxious than he was even a couple of weeks ago.”
“Somehow, I think the old Ty would resurface if he thought you were insulting his girl.” Zach frowned at Tony. “And what are you saying about my girl?”
Tony grinned. “That she’s good enough to be a model. She’s also a nice girl, but she’s not as outgoing as Karen, and she tends to be only interested in you. Not that I really care, but it’s a bit off-putting when the only topic of conversation is ‘Zach this’ and ‘Zach that’.” Tony paused and gazed up and down the tall ruck’s body. “Not that I blame her… A pity you’re not gay and single.”
Zach laughed as he grabbed Tony and put him in a headlock. “You keep your hands to yourself.”
“I’m not the one currently doing the manhandling.”
Zach let Tony go and gave him a grin. “And let’s keep it that way.”
Todd glanced around the room. “It looks like Ty and Karen have disappeared.”
“They’ve got a dinner date with Dad and Denise,” Roger said.
Todd frowned. “Are you calling him that now, too? I’ve heard a couple of the other guys do it, but I wasn’t sure if Jim was happy with the idea.”
Roger shrugged. “It’s now Dad and the brat. I even overheard Peter using the nicknames at one point during training tonight.”
“Ty’s not the only one with a new girl.” Oliver grinned. “Isn’t that right, Todd?”
Todd frowned. “Ollie, I’ve told you that’s private. You keep your fucking nose out of my personal life.”
Tony frowned. “I thought you were bringing her to Jim’s party?”
“I am, but Ollie’s harassing me about her and,” Todd glared down at his shorter housemate, “I’m not ready to give out details. It’s early days, and I don’t want anything to mess things up. By the time of Jim’s birthday, everything should be fine.”
“On that subject, what’s the norm around here for birthday parties? Given that everyone is paying for the night, what’s the expectation regarding presents?” Tony asked.
Roger shrugged. “Normally, I’d suggest nothing or something small. But this is Jim’s twenty-first, so I think it’d be a good idea to have something decent.” He grinned. “If other similar nights are anything to go by, he will receive enough wine and spirits to stock a cellar, so that’s a safe standby. If you can think of something decent that’s more expensive, Steph and I would be more than happy to go in for a joint present.”
“Does he do much reading, and do you know if he’s got any heroes in the AFL? I was thinking of getting him a football-related biography, if that’s appropriate.”
Roger scratched his head. “Not a bad idea, but I don’t know if he’s much of a reader. You’re probably better asking one of his housemates. As for heroes, not really, but there’s no one he dislikes, either, so anything that’s decently written and entertaining would be fine.”
“If you’re going to go the alcohol route, he’s into bourbon,” Todd said. “That’s my fallback if I don’t think of anything better between now and then.”
“While I think of it, where’s the party going to be held?” Roger asked. “No one’s told me.”
Tony tilted his head towards Oliver. “You’ll need to speak to my co-conspirator. For some reason, he doesn’t want people to know.”
Oliver shrugged. “If you’re not coming on the bus, I’ll tell you, but I want the details to be kept secret. I’ve got a surprise planned, and I don’t want to let the cat out of the bag.”
* * *
Owen frowned down at Dave, who had collapsed onto the couch in front of the television as soon as they returned home from training. Owen couldn’t help notice that, yet again, Dave hadn’t taken his bag to his room.
“You need to get over this girl, Dave.”
“Fuck off and leave me alone.”
Owen scowled. “No. We’re going to sort this out before the other two get home. You’re getting more and more messed up, Dave, and people are noticing. This is two training sessions in a row where you’ve been told off for being too aggressive and where you’ve not stayed for a drink in the clubroom afterwards. Unlike most of us, you also didn’t participate in the run yesterday, and I suspect you’re going to skip out on the run tomorrow, too.
“You’re not putting in a consistent effort any more, and it’s because your mind is all over the place. This isn’t normal!”
Dave sneered back. “What the fuck do you know about what’s normal? Maybe this is the real me and you’ve never noticed it before.” He held the aggressive pose for less than a second before his body slumped and he buried his face in his hands.
Owen sat next to him and tentatively put an arm across Dave’s shoulders. He was beginning to wonder if there was something more going on than excessive disappointment in the girlfriend department. Owen decided that if something didn’t change soon, he would contact Andrew, the club’s doctor, and ask for help.
Dave leant against him, and Owen felt a shudder pass through his housemate’s body as he tightened his one-armed hug.
“It’s okay, Dave. It’s okay.”
Owen reached out with his other arm and gently pulled Dave into a full hug. When he felt another shudder, Owen hoped that Dave was finally letting go of whatever had been disturbing him.
“I’m here for you whenever you want, Dave,” Owen said gently.
Dave gave a heavy sigh and lifted his head. Owen let go with one arm but kept the other across Dave’s shoulders.
Dave looked at Owen and gave him a wan smile. “Yeah, but you’re not really what I want.”
Owen chuckled. “Zoe and I are both happy for that.” He quickly returned to being serious. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Dave grimaced. “No. There’s really nothing to talk about. I found someone, fell for them more than I ever expected, but I can’t have them. That hurts more than you can imagine.”
“There are other girls out there. You’ll find someone.”
Dave sighed. “Eventually…maybe.”
* * *
Jim put his right arm around Denise and gave her a quick kiss as they came into the hotel. “Sorry we’re late, but the brat spent too long putting on his makeup.”
“Ignore him, Denise. He’s full of it tonight.” Ty glanced at his watch and then grinned. “We’re actually right on time. Karen, this is Denise, Dad’s better half. Denise, this is Karen.”
“G’day, Karen.” Denise smiled.
“Hi.’ Karen smiled back. “Jim’s not the only one full of it, so ignore most of what Ty says, too.”
Ty gave Jim a hurt look. “She’s picking on me.”
Jim grinned. “And it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. How about we head inside and get something to eat? The bistro stops taking orders in fifteen minutes, so we’ll need to move.”
Ten minutes later, they had ordered their meals and were sitting at a table near one of the corners, the guys sitting opposite each other and the girls on the other two sides of the table.
Jim looked at Ty. “If you’re going to start doing this sort of thing regularly, a Wednesday night isn’t a good time. If training had run even a little overtime, we might’ve missed out on dinner. A Tuesday or Thursday night would be better since you won’t have to train late.”
“Yeah, I know that now, but there aren’t a lot of options.” Ty smiled at his date. “Karen works Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights, so it has to be a weeknight if we want to go out. Thursdays would be better, but I wanted to introduce Karen to everyone, and a training night was the best way to do that. That’s why I picked tonight.”
Denise frowned. “What time do you start work on weekends, Karen?”
“Mid-afternoon. Why?”
“What’s wrong with going out for breakfast or lunch on the weekends instead of dinner?” Denise asked Ty. “It’s not exactly the same, but it can still be a wonderful time.”
Ty grinned. “Fantastic idea. Thanks, Denise.” He turned to Karen. “Are you doing anything on Saturday? I’ve got the day free, and I thought we could go somewhere for an early lunch. That’ll still give you time to get to work.”
Karen laughed as she reached over and took Ty’s hand. “That sounds wonderful. I’d like that.” She smiled at Denise. “Thank you.”
Denise smiled back. “My pleasure.” She grinned at Jim. “A picnic lunch on Saturday for just the two of us sounds nice. What do you think?”
Jim grinned back. “Sounds good to me.” He turned to Ty. “Just so you know, there are places around that serve dinner late. It doesn’t have to be at one of the pubs.”
Ty shrugged. “Pubs are cheaper.” He stiffened and gave Karen a worried look. “Not that I wouldn’t take you somewhere better, but I’ve been living paycheque-to-paycheque for the last few months, and I’ve got into the habit of finding cheap places to eat.”
Karen laughed as she gave Ty’s hand a squeeze. “I’m a student, Ty. I know what it’s like to live on the cheap. Why do you think I ruin the best times for a social life by working?”
Ty grinned. “I’ve just realised something. A lot of my money’s been going on visiting the nightclubs on a weekend. I won’t have to do that anymore, so I can spend the money on the two of us going places. How does that sound?”
“You don’t have to do that, but that’s sweet.” Karen smiled at Jim. “This looks like it might be a really rewarding job.”
Denise raised an eyebrow. “What job?”
Jim chuckled. “I told Karen at the club that I had a brat who wasn’t housebroken and offered her the job of training him. She asked about pay, and I told her that she’d have to negotiate that with the brat, but it might have to be something other than money.”
While Denise laughed, Ty turned to his date. “What’s your old man like, Karen? I’ve got this dad that I want to trade in for a better model. Mine’s getting obnoxious — probably due to old age. I hear he’s turning twenty-one soon.”
Karen grinned. “I’ll introduce you at some time, but I want to warn you that if you want my father, he comes at a pretty hefty price. You’re probably better off sticking with Dad for now.”
“Price? What do you mean?”
Karen let go of Ty and lifted up her left hand. She pointed to her ring finger.
Ty blanched. “Oh…” He glanced at Jim and then grinned. “Yeah, a hefty price, but it might be worth it to be able to dump this guy. Maybe I should start saving up.”
Jim grinned. “Brat.”
“Karen, if you start work mid-afternoon on weekends, I’m guessing you’re not going to be able to make it to any of the games,” Denise said.
“Sadly, no, though I do get some time off if I need to. I’m taking a day off so I can come to Jim’s birthday party, but I can’t do that sort of thing too often.”
Ty pulled a face. “I’d’ve liked her to come to the matches, but we can’t do much about that.” He glanced at Jim. “What do you think our chances are against the Hawks on Sunday?”
Jim shrugged. “They won last year, so we’ll have our work cut out for us if we’re going to beat them. I think we can be competitive, but I’m not going to assume we’ll win.”
Karen frowned. “The Hawks? You’re playing Hawthorn? I thought Ty told me you were playing Box Hill.”
Ty and Jim exchanged looks. “Do you want to take it?” Ty asked Jim.
“Okay.” Jim smiled at Karen. “Hawthorn’s the AFL team, and Box Hill is their affiliated VFL team. That means they use Box Hill as a feeder for their AFL team and also to help players get back to match fitness after injuries or other breaks. Different teams, but they’re related.”
Karen nodded, her forehead wrinkled as she tried to take in the details. “So who are the Leopards affiliated with?”
“No one. There are two classes of teams in the VFL: affiliated and non-affiliated. We’re a non-affiliated club. There are different rules for the two groups, including different salary caps and rules as to how many AFL players are allowed to play in the VFL. There are advantages and disadvantages in both classes, with the non-affiliated teams having more freedom, while the affiliated teams have more financial security.”
Ty grinned. “You forgot about the Werribee Tigers and North Ballarat.”
Karen smiled. “Let me guess: Werribee is affiliated with Richmond.”
Jim chuckled. “You’d think so, but no. The Richmond Tigers have their own VFL team as well as their AFL one, so there are two Tigers amongst the teams we play: Richmond and Werribee. Werribee and North Ballarat are actually loosely affiliated with North Melbourne, though I’m not sure of the exact nature of the relationship.
“The affiliations keep changing, too. Last season, Williamstown was affiliated with the Western Bulldogs, but this year they’re a non-affiliated club. Before the Bulldogs, they were affiliated with Collingwood, just to further complicate things.”
Karen shook her head. “Much too confusing.” She smiled. “I’ll let Ty tell me what I need to know and not worry about the rest.”
Ty grinned. “That’s easy, then. The Leopards are the best team in the competition and the only one you have to pay attention to. The other teams are just there to make up the numbers.”
Karen and Denise laughed while Jim rolled his eyes.
“If only it was that easy, brat.”
Ty shrugged. “You worry too much, Dad. Trust me, we’re going to have a great season.”
Jim gave him a wry half-smile. “And that would be because…”
“Because I’m on the team! That means we’re guaranteed to win.”
Jim grinned. “Brat. At least you’re back to your normal modest self.”
* * *
Jarrod knocked on Charlie’s bedroom door. “You got a sec?”
Charlie looked up from the book he was reading. He’d already worked out that one of his lecturers was simply parroting the textbook, so he wanted to read ahead. If he felt he understood what was written, it would be one lecture he’d be able to miss because the lecturer had so far never said anything other than what was written.
“Sure. What is it?”
Jarrod entered, closing the door behind him. “I thought we should work out what we’re going to do this weekend.”
Charlie swallowed as he realised what Jarrod meant. “With a curfew for Saturday night, I didn’t think anyone would be going out.”
Jarrod sat down on the edge of the bed, forcing Charlie to rotate his chair away from the desk.
“Some of us are thinking about going out on Friday night after training, which gives us all day Saturday to recover. What do you think?”
Charlie pulled a face. “What’s Ty doing?”
Jarrod shrugged. “I haven’t asked him, but I suspect he won’t be going. Now that he’s got a girlfriend, I think he’ll be scarce on boys’ nights out. Well, do you want to come along?”
“I don’t know…”
Jarrod smiled gently. “Charlie, you had a bad first time, if it could be called that. That doesn’t mean the next one is going to be bad, too. Just don’t let yourself get wasted first.”
Charlie spun the chair back to facing his desk. “I think I’ll pass. I want to keep on top of my schoolwork even if it’s not a lot, and I can do that on Friday night.”
“Are you going to run away from this, Charlie?” Jarrod asked in a soft tone.
Charlie grimaced as he tried to focus back on his textbook. “No, but…”
“But, what? Charlie, don’t let yourself get scared about—”
Charlie twisted around and glared at Jarrod. “I’m not scared!”
Jarrod winced. “Sorry, a poor choice of words. What I meant was—”
“What you meant was that you want me fucking some girl as soon as possible. Well, fuck you, Jarrod. I don’t think I want to do that. I want something different!”
Jarrod’s jaw dropped open, and Charlie immediately felt guilty. “I’m sorry, Jarrod, I know you mean well, but maybe I’m better off doing this slowly — finding a girl, getting to know her for awhile, and then, maybe, sleeping with her after a couple of months.”
Jarrod smiled. “I’d suggest a couple of weeks, but okay, for the right girl a couple of months is good. As long as you don’t retreat into a shell, that’s fine with me.” Jarrod tilted his head. “You were pretty shy when I first met you, and you’ve only been becoming more outgoing over the last few weeks. I didn’t want you going back to the way you were, that’s all.”
Charlie sighed and turned back to his homework. “I know, but that’s who I am, Jarrod. It takes me a while to get involved with people I don’t know, and maybe that’s why I stuffed things up last weekend. I was trying too hard to be someone I’m not. Maybe I need to spend more time just being me and letting things happen instead of trying to force things.”
Charlie heard Jarrod getting off the bed but was startled when a hand rested on his shoulder.
“Sounds good to me, Charlie. Be yourself and let things happen.” The hand squeezed slightly. “Just don’t run away from opportunities, either.”
Charlie was still sitting there several minutes later, processing and reprocessing what Jarrod had said.
* * *
Ryan grinned at Deon. “It’s just the two of us for dinner tonight. How about I cook up some fried rice?”
Deon didn’t look up from where he was nursing his can of beer. “I’m not hungry.”
Ryan noted the flat tone. “Okay, what’s eating you? You were fine earlier.”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit!” Ryan sat down opposite Deon. “What happened between the end of training and now?”
Deon looked up. He opened his mouth, then shook his head without saying anything.
“Come on, you can talk to me. If there’s something bothering you, maybe I can help.”
Deon grimaced and returned to staring at the top of the kitchen table. “I realised something tonight, that’s all.”
“Realised what?”
Deon sighed. “That I’ll probably never make it to the AFL. It had been at the back of my mind for awhile, but it was shoved in my face after training, and I couldn’t ignore it anymore.”
Ryan frowned. “Getting into the AFL isn’t easy, and staying in is just as hard; you can ask Roger about that. He only managed to play four games before he was dropped. But why do you think you don’t have a chance? Come on, Deon, you’ve scored seven goals in your first two matches. That’s impressive! It won’t be long before you’re matching scores with Roger, an ex-AFL player!”
“Yeah, but he’s not playing AFL and hasn’t for years. If I’m only matching him, I’m still not good enough.”
“Then get better.”
Deon shook his head. “Even if I do, there’s always someone even more skilled who’d be picked before me. Like Ty.”
“Ah…” Ryan watched Deon for a couple of seconds while he sorted out his thoughts. “Ty is exceptional, granted, but you’re a specialist forward. He won’t match you there if you put your heart into your game. He’ll hopefully be a great utility player, and, yes, he’s got a good chance of being picked in the next draft because of that, but if a team is looking for a strong forward with a good scoring record, then that’s where you can shine. It doesn’t matter how good Ty is if he’s not the type of player a team is looking for.”
Deon took a sip from his can. He looked up and met Ryan’s eyes. “If Ty wanted to be a specialist forward, he’d be better than me. I’ve played against him. I know how good he is.”
Ryan smiled. “But he’s not a specialist forward. I know Will is training him, but unless he concentrates all his efforts, he’ll only get to be a strong forward, not a great one. Your goal should be to become a great forward. Then you’ll have a chance. If you don’t try, though, you’ll never get there.”
Deon sat for a moment and then his expression hardened into one of determination. “Thanks, Ryan.” He gave Ryan a small smile. “When’s dinner?”
* * *
“Hey, Julie! I didn’t expect you to call.” Paul stuck the phone into the crook of his neck while he finished putting his training gear into the washing machine.
“Sorry, Paul, but Aaron’s at his parents for dinner, and you were the next on my list of people to vent at.”
Paul frowned. “Give me a minute and I’ll be able to give you my full attention. I’m just in the middle of something.”
“Do you want me to call back later?”
“No, I won’t be long.” He grabbed the washing liquid and, rather than measuring it carefully, threw in what he thought was a reasonable amount. He switched the machine on and headed to his room.
“Done! Now what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Did you see that small group of supporters at training tonight? The ones near the entrance to the team’s change room?”
Paul shrugged. “Not really. There are always a few people around when we train unless it’s pouring rain. Why?”
“So you didn’t hear what they were calling out.” It was a flat statement, not a question.
Paul closed his bedroom door and sat on his bed. “No. I tend to tune them out. I’ve got my coaches to listen to, instead.” He elected to not make a joke about one of them being a bitch. He didn’t think Julie was in the mood to appreciate it.
“Unfortunately, I couldn’t.” Julie’s voice was almost snarling. “I was working near them for most of the session, and the abuse they were dishing out got me so frustrated. I wanted to go over and punch their lights out, but that’d ruin everything I’ve worked for. I had to bottle it up until I got home.”
Paul found himself getting angry. “What were they saying?”
“What weren’t they saying? Apparently, girls are not supposed to know anything about football and certainly can’t be coaches. I’m supposed to go back to my cooking and knitting.”
Paul snorted. “Do you even know how to knit?” He tensed as soon as the words left his mouth, worried that he’d set his sister off again.
There was a pause and then a single bark of laughter. “No. Who does today?”
Paul relaxed. “No one I know. Even Mum doesn’t know how to knit. How old were these guys? I’m presuming they were all guys.”
“Three middle-aged men and a middle-aged woman. She was quiet, but her expression when I glanced in their direction told me she wasn’t happy with me, either.”
“Did any of the team hear them?”
“I don’t think so. They weren’t that loud, only enough to make sure I’d hear them. The players I was working with were all further out on the ground. I kept them there once I realised what was going on. I didn’t want any disruption to the drills I was running.”
“Did you try moving away?”
Julie’s tone was scornful. “Do you think I’m stupid?” She sighed. “Sorry, I know you didn’t mean it that way, but I’m on edge here. Yes, I tried moving around the edge of the oval, but they followed me. I couldn’t move too much into the middle without interfering with the players, so I just had to put up with it.”
“Do you want me to do something about this, Julie?” Paul asked while contemplating the options.
“No. I just needed to vent. They’re not causing any harm, just a lot of aggravation. Unless it gets physical, and I don’t see how that would happen with that group, it’s only words.”
“You don’t think anyone should take them aside and tell them that their views are outdated and they should keep their mouths shut?”
Julie snorted. “A nice thought, but no.”
Paul thought for a moment and then shook his head. “Sorry, Julie, but I think you’re wrong. I won’t do anything at the moment, but I’m going to keep an ear out at future training sessions, and if I hear that sort of abuse, I’m going to make sure other people hear it, too. You don’t have to stand alone on this one.”
There was a pause before Julie’s soft response. “Thanks, Paul. I appreciate that.”
“It’s the twenty-first century, Julie. Yeah, there are still prejudices and antiquated opinions out there, but they’re going. The people holding them have to learn that not everyone feels the same way, and, I hope, it’s a majority that don’t.”
“Okay, enough. I no longer feel like hitting something, so that’s good. What’ve you been up to, Paul? Aaron and I enjoyed your company last Sunday, but both of us noticed you didn’t really say a lot about what you’ve been doing.”
Paul grimaced. He needed to tread carefully. “I’m sorry, but the thing with Rochelle’s affected me a lot. I know I’ve withdrawn a lot recently, but I’m looking at getting out again.”
“What happened with her? You still haven’t told me.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Julie. Just drop it, okay?” Paul knew his tone was curt, but he couldn’t prevent it. Rochelle was still a touchy subject for him.
“Okay,” Julie said, dragging out the word, “but you’re going to need to tell me at some point. Otherwise, it’ll be Mum who interrogates you, and we both know how painful that can be.”
Paul tried to steel his will. “I can handle Mum.”
Julie snorted. “Yeah, and I’m Father Christmas. I’ll believe that one when I see it.”
Paul knew she was right, but he couldn’t admit that that was a major factor in why he’d stopped attending family functions.
* * *
Tony walked into his apartment and paused in surprise. “Ethan! It’s good to see you again. How have you been?”
Ethan grinned as he disentangled himself from Alex. “I’ve been good. Yourself?” He stood up and held out both arms.
Tony dropped the bag with his gym clothes on the floor and accepted the bear hug, slipping in a kiss on Ethan’s cheek in the process. “Work’s busy, but I’m really enjoying it.”
The two stepped apart, and Tony grinned down at Alex who was still sitting on the chair he’d been sharing with Ethan. “Ethan’s been keeping you amused while I’ve been at work, I see.”
Alex gave him a mock pout. “Well, you’ve been coming home so late each night, I had to do something. To be honest, though, he’s better company than you, anyway.”
Tony laughed. “Sorry, but I told you last week that I’ll be working odd hours. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are training nights, and it’s good for me to catch up with the guys afterwards.”
Alex smirked. “Yeah, right. All those hot young guys strutting their stuff in the change room. I’m sure you time your visit to the club’s gym to arrive just when they’re heading into the showers.”
Tony frowned. “It’s not a joking matter. I make a point of avoiding the change room when the guys are there. Ultimately, they’re the reason I’m employed, and if I piss them off in any way I could be out of a job. Worst case, I’d also get sued for sexual harassment, even if it’s just a misunderstanding.”
Ethan narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend. “Alex, leave him alone. He’s got to be careful. Real careful. You know what I mean.”
Tony stared at Ethan in surprise. “What are you talking about?”
Ethan and Alex exchanged glances.
“Why don’t you put your stuff away and then join us for a drink?” Ethan asked. “We’ve got something we’d like to discuss.”
Tony frowned as he looked at the two guys. He knew that there was something going on, but he couldn’t work out what it was. He picked up his gym gear and headed to his room. “I’ll be right back.”
A short time later, he was sitting on one of the lounge-room chairs, a scotch and coke in his hand. Alex and Ethan shared the other chair, Alex in the seat and Ethan perched on the arm. Both of them had beers.
“What is it that you wanted to discuss?” Tony grinned. “Is one of you pregnant?”
Alex smirked, though there seemed to be an edge to it. “Not yet, but we’re still trying. No, this is something else. We were wondering what it’s like working in gay heaven?”
“What are you talking about?” Tony sensed there was more to the question than just a joke.
“Gay heaven. Lots of hunky young guys — like Jarrod — and you get to perv on them all day. What else would you call it?”
Tony frowned. “I told you, Alex, it’s not funny. Firstly, most of my day is spent in an office, and when I’m not there, I’m out visiting sponsors or potential sponsors. They certainly do not fit into the ‘hunky young guy’ category. Secondly, most of the guys work during the day, so there’s only a few who are hanging around the club. Okay, they’re nice eye candy, but that’s all it is. You can get the same simply walking down the street.”
“Sorry, Tony, but I’m the one who caused all of this.” Ethan ran a hand through his hair, looking sheepish. “I asked Alex if all of the guys on the team were as hot as Jarrod.”
Tony felt a chill come over him. He stared, not saying anything. He wasn’t sure if he was capable of saying anything.
“So we tracked down the club’s website and had a look at the pictures. Jarrod’s definitely not the only looker on the team,” Ethan said.
Tony swallowed. “Guys…”
Alex narrowed his eyes. “But our biggest surprise was when we saw someone I recognised. A rather memorable-looking person that you introduced me to a week-and-a-half ago. Did you forget to mention to me that ‘Ken’ was on the team?”
“Guys, he’s not out.”
Alex scowled. “Of course, he’s fucking well not out! I’m sure we’d have heard about it if he was. At the very least, my flatmate would’ve told me he’s dating a football player!”
“Alex, settle down!” Ethan looked at Tony. “Sorry, but we only found this out about an hour ago. I thought I’d stay until you got home because Alex is a little pissed at you at the moment.”
“A little! I thought Tony trusted me! He’s told me that he’s been talking to ‘Ken’,” Alex snarled, miming quote marks, “but didn’t bother telling me that it was at work! How much work are you really getting done, anyway?”
Ethan stared at his boyfriend, his forehead wrinkled with concern. He squeezed Alex’s shoulders with his left hand and started to stroke his boyfriend’s bicep with his right.
Tony sculled his drink and put the glass on the small table next to the chair. “Alex, it’s not like that. He’s…scared. I’m just his friend, nothing more.”
“What do you mean, just a friend? I can see it in your eyes: you want him. You work with him and see him every day, and you want him. Why couldn’t you tell me?”
Tony grimaced. “If it ever got past the ‘just friends’ stage, I would’ve told you. When we met at the Leopards, I told him I’d like to be more than a friend, but for now that’s all I am. I have to leave the next steps up to him. At the moment, I’m just a voice he can talk to on the phone and maybe sometimes at the club if we’re alone, which doesn’t happen very often. He’s got no one else.”
Ethan’s head snapped around. “What do you mean, no one?”
“I’m it. He’s not out to anyone else. He doesn’t want to be deep in the closet, but he’s afraid if he comes out he’ll lose his football career. He keeps telling me that playing is what he lives for. He wants to be known as a footballer, not ‘that gay footballer’. He’ll continue to hide until at least the end of the season. That’s his goal.” Tony dropped his gaze. “I have to respect that, and that means keeping everyone else away from him. I’m sorry, Alex, but that’s why I didn’t say anything. I’m trying to protect him.”
Alex was quiet for a moment. “Okay, I understand. I thought you were hiding something from me. Sorry.”
Tony looked up and gave his flatmate a weak smile. “That’s okay; I was. It was for what I thought was a good reason, but I was still keeping it from you.”
“Are you saying he’s going to come out at the end of the year, when football is finished?” Alex asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t think he does, either, but he wants to stay in the closet until then.”
“So, giving Jarrod a call and telling him one of his teammates is gay is probably not a good idea?” Alex said in a teasing tone.
Tony looked up, his face white. “Whatever you do, don’t do that. It could kill him!”
“Don’t be so melodramatic, Tony. I wasn’t going to do it, and it wouldn’t kill your precious ‘Ken’.”
Tony shook his head. “It might. It’s one of the reasons I’m being so cautious. He hasn’t been completely rational in some of our discussions. I think he’s on the edge of losing it, and being forced out could push him over. Please, don’t say anything.”
Alex frowned. “How many of these discussions have you had with him?”
“Only a handful. The last time we spoke was on Saturday morning. He contacts me when he wants to talk. I don’t call him unless it’s for work.”
“Well, I think—”
Ethan put a hand over Alex’s mouth for a moment. “Alex, that’s enough. Tony knows the situation better than we do. Let him deal with it.”
Alex lifted his scowling face to Ethan and was met with a pair of lips on his. Alex tried to push him away, but Ethan had the advantage of height as well as passion, and Alex soon stopped resisting.
Tony pushed himself out of his chair. His mind was in a swirl as he tried to sort out the complications that Alex had thrown at him.
“Where are you going?” Ethan asked as Tony reached the door.
Tony glanced over his shoulder. “I thought I’d leave you two alone while I work out what to do next.”
“What’s there to work out?” Ethan seemed puzzled.
Tony shrugged. “Whether or not to tell Ken that you two know who he is. I don’t know if he’ll freak out or take it calmly. If I don’t tell him, will he lose faith in me and stop talking when he finds out?”
Tony was just about to step out when Alex spoke. “Why do you still call him ‘Ken’? We know his real name.”
Tony didn’t look back at the other guys. “Because I have to. Ken is the gay guy I’m talking to. He’s not the football player, and I have to keep the two separate in my mind because otherwise I might make a mistake and use the wrong name where someone could hear it.”
“Which one have you got the hots for?” Alex asked, a slight edge to his tone.
Tony shrugged. “I don’t know. Both, maybe?” He shook his head. “I can’t afford to think about it. He means too much to me to take a chance on stuffing it up.”
Tony left before they could ask any more questions. He had too many already going through his own mind to deal with any more.
Copyright © April 2014 by Graeme.
The author copyrights this story and retains all rights. This work may not be duplicated in any form — physical, electronic, audio, or otherwise — without the author's expressed permission.
All applicable copyright laws apply.
Disclaimer: All individuals depicted are fictional, and any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental.
I would like to thank trebs, C James and MikeL for the advice they gave on early versions and rec for editing this story for me.