Falls Creek Lessons

Chapter 10

I watched, amused, as Dan opened and closed his mouth several times with nothing coming out. His bewildered expression was priceless.

“But…” he eventually squeaked out before drifting into silence again.

“You’re the first person I’ve told,” I admitted. “Even Chris and Paul don’t know.”

“But…” he repeated in a small voice.

I sighed as I turned to look up the mountain. We didn’t have long before the ride would be finished.

“I’ve been in the closet for years. If it wasn’t for first meeting Chris and Paul, and then you, I’d probably still be there,” I said quietly. “I learnt from them that gays can make it in the world, and be happy.”

Looking back at Dan, I added nervously, “And I learnt from you that I might, just might, have found someone who can make me as happy as those two guys.”

He shook his head, while a lazy smile crept over his face.

“As long as you don’t mind me being happier than that,” he replied. “You have no idea what you’ve just done to me.”

I laughed. “As long as it hasn’t stopped you from being able to ski, you should be fine. Otherwise, you’re about to fall off a chairlift.”

Dan looked up the mountain and was clearly startled when he saw the end of the lift fast approaching. Raising the safety bar, he got ready to exit the lift. The grin on his face didn’t budge, though.

“Follow me when we get off,” he stated.

As we left the lift, Dan immediately headed to the right. As he pulled up outside the shelter that was there, I became a little nervous. What was he planning?

“Come on!” he said, as he took off his skis and entered the building.

Slowly, I followed. I found Dan staring out of the window, looking down the Playground run.

“I’m sorry now that I agreed to work the next two days. It’s going to cut into a lot of time we could be having together,” he said softly, without turning around.

I stood there hesitantly. What was I supposed to do? Should I go up and put my arms around him, like I wanted to, or should I wait for him to come to me? I didn’t know how to start. Up until now, Dan had been a friend; one who I was really comfortable with. Now, I was feeling very uncomfortable.

I hadn’t expected to find a boyfriend for probably years. I thought I’d have to come out of the closet first; not come out and find someone at the same time.

While I was trying to work out what to say, or what to do, Dan turned around.

He looked at me quizzically, as I shuffled my feet nervously – not easy to do in ski boots — and stared at the floor to try to avoid eye contact.

“You said just before that I’m the first person you’ve told, is that right?” Dan asked gently.

I nodded my head, without lifting my eyes.

I heard him approaching. I felt like bolting, but forced myself to stay still. Dan was older than me, and he’d had a boyfriend before. He should know what to do.

He reached out and placed his right hand under my chin. Lifting my head up, he made me look him in the eyes. I didn’t fight him — I was happy to let him control what was going on.

“You’re confused about this, aren’t you?” he asked, still smiling, and still speaking gently.

“Yes,” I said faintly.

“We’ll take things slowly, Greg. I’m not going to make you do anything you’re not ready for,” he said softly. “I’ve been falling for you all week, Greg, and I’m not going to risk losing you by rushing things. Just remember, we’re friends first. How does that sound?”

“Friends first,” I repeated, a little louder and a lot happier. I felt myself beginning to smile.

Still holding my chin, Dan leant forward and kissed me lightly on the lips. I wasn’t expecting it, and didn’t participate. By the time I was ready to react, Dan had finished and was stepping back.

I must have looked confused, because Dan grinned even wider. “That was a down payment. I’ll give you the rest sometime when we aren’t likely to be interrupted.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” I replied with a grin.

“Now, do you want to talk, or would you like to go skiing?” Dan asked me.

I considered that question seriously. There were lots of things I needed to talk to Dan about, but most of them could wait. There was one thing that couldn’t wait, though.

“What do we do about Garret and Kelly?” I asked, worried about how to conceal things from them.

Dan sighed. “I doubt we can hide it from them. They both know I’ve fallen for you, and I don’t think I’ll be able to hold myself back from showing it, now that I know that you like me, too.”

“They know what?” I asked, before I recalled that Garret had implied this when we had our private chat. I shouldn’t have been surprised.

“Garret warned me that I was in danger of making a fool of myself over you,” Dan stated, before giving a quiet laugh. “He’s going to get a big surprise.”

“Okay, then. How do we tell them? I’m not exactly experienced at telling people,” I pointed out.

“Would you like me to tell them?” Dan offered.

I nervously chewed on my lower lip. I didn’t see how we could avoid them finding out, unless we pretended that we weren’t together, and I wasn’t sure that would work.

Reluctantly, I nodded my head. Having a boyfriend was already starting to complicate my life. Looking up at Dan’s smiling face, I felt it was going to be worth it. At least, that’s what I hoped.

The silence that followed was finally broken by Dan.

“Okay, let’s go skiing. We’re going down to Ruined Castle. It’s a fine day, and should be fun,” he stated cheerfully.

With that, we headed out.

Dan may have considered it to be fun, but it wasn’t easy for me. I fell over a lot that afternoon. Simply getting down to the bottom of the Scott Quad, so we could catch the Ruined Castle chairlift, I crashed more times that I care to remember. I was hoping it was just nerves. There were a lot of worries running through my mind, and I was having trouble concentrating.

After all those crashes, I was a little sore when we finally made it back to the lodge. Despite looking forward to a nice hot shower to ease my aches and pains, I was reluctant to enter the room. Once we entered, would it be obvious that we were now a couple?

Dan stood there, sympathetic, as I struggled to drag my feet towards the door. He didn’t offer to help, and after a moment, I realised why. We were still in public, out here, and we didn’t want to give anything away. Giving him a nervous smile, I entered the room in front of him.

“About bloody time you two showed up,” Kelly remarked caustically as soon as she spotted us. “Garret tells me he lost his job and then that you got it back, but he can’t tell me how. I suppose I should’ve expected that you’d make me wait, Danny boy, but couldn’t you have dragged that arse of yours in here a bit quicker? I’m sure if pretty boy was willing to put out for you, you would’ve been back hours ago.”

Before he responded, Dan looked over at me with a question in his eyes. I nodded my permission.

Dan smiled at Kelly. “Actually, no I wouldn’t have been. I was busy skiing with my new boyfriend, and Garret comes a poor second to Greg.”

“What new boyfriend?” Kelly asked, annoyed.

I looked over at Garret, who picked up on things a bit faster.

“Fuck!” was all he said, as he shook his head in disbelief while smiling faintly at me.

Dan moved over and put his arm across my shoulders. I immediately tensed up, and then forced myself to relax. It was going to take some time before I was used to that.

Kelly’s jaw dropped at that. She then snapped her mouth shut and threw her hands into the air as she looked wildly around.

“Another one! What have I done to deserve this?” she cried in exasperation.

Garret rose cautiously from the chair he was sitting in. Once vertical, he held out a hand to me.

“Congratulations, Greg. You’ve got a good one, here,” he said simply.

“Thanks, Garret,” I replied as I shook his hand.

“Why didn’t you say anything before? You certainly had enough chances,” he asked as he let go and returned to the chair.

“I wasn’t ready to,” I answered. “It’s taken me this long to build up enough courage to tell Dan. I was going to tell him yesterday, but he beat me to it, and that threw me.”

When no one said anything immediately, I turned to Dan.

“I’m going to take a shower. I need to loosen up after all those crashes.”

“Okay, Greg. We’ll decide what we want to do for dinner afterwards,” he replied.

“Dan, aren’t you forgetting something?” Garret asked, as I headed to my bags to get a change of clothes.

“What?” Dan replied, puzzled.

“We’ve got water restrictions on at the moment. The company expects us to do everything we can to cut down on our water usage,” Garret stated. Glancing over at him, I saw an extremely cheeky grin. “That’s why I usually shower with a friend,” Garret continued. “It’s about time you did your bit, too.”

I blushed as I realised what Garret was going on about. Looking at Dan, he was bright red and clearly avoiding glancing in my direction. I wasn’t ready for what Garret was insinuating. I didn’t mind the idea of showering with Dan, but I certainly wasn’t going to do it with Garret and Kelly on the other side of the door!

“I don’t work for the company,” I stated, a little bit too loudly.

With that, I grabbed some clothes and retreated to the shower. I made sure I locked the door behind me. As I did, I wondered if Dan would try to come in. He said that we would take things slowly, but I didn’t know what that meant. I was very confused about what I wanted, and when I’m in a state like that, I tend to retreat into my shell. I needed time to find out what it meant to have a boyfriend, and I wasn’t happy that Garret was trying to push us together. I know he was just encouraging us, and it showed that he didn’t mind, but he falls in and out of relationships so easily. That wasn’t what I was looking for.

Finishing my shower, I was relaxed and not as stiff as I’d been. I took a deep breath before I opened the door. Garret and Kelly were likely to ambush me with questions, and I was trying to prepare myself. Feeling woefully inadequate, I went out into the main room.

“My turn,” Dan said as soon as he saw me, and headed towards the shower. As he went by, I sensed that he wanted to give me a quick kiss, but I move quietly aside to deny him the chance. I had a new appreciation for Paul’s reluctance about public displays of affection. I wasn’t ready for those either.

The two people in the room were silent until Dan had disappeared. I started putting my dirty clothes away, trying to pretend that there wasn’t anyone else around.

“Be careful with him,” Kelly said quietly from behind me. “He’s been through a lot.”

I turned and looked at her in surprise. What did she mean by that?

“He hasn’t had a close friend since he’s been up here, and he might be a bit vulnerable, Greg,” she continued in a kind voice. This was just so different to her usual tone that I wondered what had happened.

“She’s right,” Garret said from where he was sitting. “He needs you, or someone like you, but he needs you to be a friend even more.”

“What the fuck are you two talking about?” I asked, completely bamboozled by what they were trying to tell me.

Kelly looked over at Garret, who took the lead.

“Dan’s been really lonely up here,” he stated. “You’ve come along and he’s fallen for you big time. Now he’s found out you’re gay, and he’s over the moon. If you mess him around, even accidentally, he’s going to take it really hard. It won’t take much for you to crush him. If you’ll take advice from a straight guy, just be his friend, and let the rest come later.”

I looked between the two of them. They were clearly in agreement about this, and that made me even more worried. I was nervous about the whole boyfriend thing, and now I find that if I react wrong to something he does, I could really hurt Dan.

The arrangements in this room didn’t lend itself to Dan and me having any quality time together. Kelly or Garret could walk in at any time, and I don’t think I could cope with that. So it made sense to concentrate on just being friends first. Other things would have to wait until we could have some time alone. But was Dan prepared to wait? I needed to talk this over with him, and soon.

Kelly was staring at me thoughtfully. I was about to ask her what that was about when she spoke up.

“Greg, I’ve just had an idea. Which is more important to you at the moment: Dan or skiing?”

“Dan,” I answered without hesitation, but with a large degree of puzzlement.

“Dan’s told us about the deal he’s struck: how he finishes up on Saturday. Is there any real reason for sticking around until Sunday?” she asked.

I grinned. I’d been thinking along those lines myself.

“No,” I answered. “Are you suggesting we find somewhere private to go for the Saturday night?”

She smiled in response. “Yes I am. Unless you’re an exhibitionist, or completely without shame like pretty boy, you and Dan aren’t going to get up to a lot while you’re staying here. Take the opportunity to have some quality time with Dan and leave as soon as he’s finished work.”

I glanced over at Garret, who was looking at Kelly like he was offended by what she said, but he didn’t say anything. Personally, I thought her description was quite accurate, even if it didn’t show the depth of character he really had.

“Did Dan tell you that he’s the first person I’ve come out to?” I asked.

“Yeah, he did,” Kelly said kindly, before continuing in her more normal sarcastic tone. “Which is really annoying, as it means I probably should give you a few days’ grace before I come down heavy on you, and by that stage you’ll be gone!”

“Don’t worry, Kelly,” Garret piped up. “I’ll still be here for a few more weeks.”

She looked over at him with disgust. “Thanks for reminding me of the other bit of depressing news, Garret. I suppose this afternoon’s episode is going to be repeated, ad nauseam, too.”

Garret actually blushed at that.

“What happened?” I asked, curious. I wondered if that girl was still here when Kelly came in.

Garret looked away without saying anything. I turned back to Kelly to see her smiling faintly at her roommate.

“Garret was entertaining a piece of fluff when I came in. He asked me to come back later; I said ‘No’ and came into the room to get changed. I was polite, though,” she said, grinning sadistically. “I said ‘Hello, Michelle,’ and then corrected myself, with ‘Sorry, that was his girl last week. Please forgive me, Serena,’ and then went and had a shower. Whoever she was, she was gone when I came out. Garret must be a fast worker.”

“As soon as I’m able, I’ll stop bringing the girls back here, Kelly. Until then, how about giving me a break?” Garret pleaded.

Kelly managed to look shocked at that. “What? I thought I was. I was polite and tried to remember her name, didn’t I?”

I smiled as Garret squirmed. Both he and I knew he wasn’t going to win. He was going to have to go elsewhere for his recreational activities.

“What about Dan and Greg? Are you going to give them a break?” Garret asked, accusingly.

Kelly looked at me thoughtfully. “I’m sure our neighbourhood porn star here isn’t going to have a problem with an audience, but Dan is a bit of a prude. I think Greg is going to have train him. We’ll have to see if Greg’s going to need any help with that.”

That gave me a mixed sensation. The old “porn star” joking showed that she was still comfortable with me, but I wasn’t sure what she meant by helping me train Dan, and I really didn’t want to find out.

“Um, can I ask for a favour?” I queried cautiously.

“What is it?” Kelly asked, dropping back into the gentle tone she was using before.

“I really don’t want anyone else to know, at the moment. Can we keep this just between the four of us?”

“Sure, Greg,” Kelly replied, with Garret nodding his agreement in the background. “Just remember that you’re fair game while it’s just us, though.”

I gave her a nervous smile at that. I wasn’t sure what she meant, but I knew that if she gave me a hard time, it wouldn’t be malicious; annoying and embarrassing, maybe, but not malicious.

“Kelly, what about Mike?” Garret asked, concerned about something.

Kelly frowned. “Mike’s homophobic, Greg,” she explained, “which is why Dan usually goes elsewhere when he’s here. It’s also why Dan got so panicky when I told him that Mike’s going to be here for the weekend.”

I tensed up. I knew that I had Kelly, Garret and Dan on my side, but I wasn’t ready to meet someone who’d be abusive. Mike was going to be here on Friday, I recalled.

“I think it’ll be best if Mike and I got our own room for Friday night, and that you don’t meet him,” Kelly mused. “I’ll get that organised as soon as you tell me if you’re going to be here on Saturday night, or not.”

“I’ll check with Dan as soon as he’s finished his shower,” I promised.

Once Dan came out of the shower, the four of us had a discussion. Dan wasn’t too keen about leaving on the Saturday, but guessing the reason was financial, I whispered to him that I’d pay and I wouldn’t take no for an answer. After that, it was quickly settled. I suggested Beechworth as a place to go, remembering a comment Dan had made to me once, but the others said that was too far out of the way. Garret suggested we visit the wineries, and Dan and I soon agreed. The rest, we’d play by ear.

When I suggested that Dan and I go somewhere for dinner, Garret pointed out that if I wanted things kept quiet from the locals, eating at a restaurant with just Dan wasn’t going to help. I was shocked to find out that there were already a few rumours about me, though they weren’t being taken too seriously. Garret suggested that the three of us go to the Falls Creek Hotel for dinner, as Kelly had indicated that she had made other plans already. I wasn’t too sure, as I wanted time to talk a few things over with Dan, but eventually agreed. Garret promised to disappear occasionally, to give us some private time, at least as much privacy as we could manage in a crowded place.

Dinner was a great success. Garret turned out to be really good company, and between him and Dan, the conversation kept flowing over a wide range of topics. I didn’t really get a chance to have any quiet words with Dan, but I didn’t mind. Simply being with friends, and by the end of that night I counted Garret as one, was something that shouldn’t be underestimated. As I had been advised, concentrating on friendship first helped settle a lot of the anxiety I’d been feeling.

* * * * *

I stood at the oversnow terminal, while Dan spoke to the manager. He was organising for our luggage to be put somewhere safe, as well as a lift down to where his car was located. Before he disappeared, he had also cryptically asked me how strong my arms were…

The previous few days had been great. Dan was working all day, so after my lesson I just practiced my skiing, or headed back to the room to chat with Garret. It seems that Kelly had had an effect on lover boy’s activities, as I never encountered him with female company. From a couple of comments he made, I was guessing that he kept his trysts to the mornings when Kelly was working, and I was having a lesson.

I got to know Garret quite well over those couple of days. He was beginning to get out and about, and took me over to the small gym that the staff used. We also did a little bit of skiing together, but Garret was restricting himself to the Playground, which I was beginning to find too restrictive. It was with amusement that I found myself thinking that it wasn’t steep enough.

After my last lesson on the Saturday, I headed straight back to the room to finish packing and get changed. Dan had done most of his packing the night before, so once he had finished his shift, and completed the paperwork for the termination of his employment, he wouldn’t have much to do before we’d be ready to go.

Kelly caught us just as we were finishing our packing. I was surprised, as I’d expected her to be locked up with Mike somewhere, but she left him long enough to come over and say goodbye. She even went as far as to give both Dan and me a farewell kiss. Garret’s dry comment as he watched was to tell us not to expect the same from him. Instead, he gave us each a hug goodbye. He whispered a few words to Dan while he did that, but I didn’t catch what they were. I knew that if it was important, Dan would tell me later. To me, he just said to take care, and to not forget to look him up in a few weeks time, when the ski season was finished.

Soon after, the oversnow had arrived to take us, and our luggage, down to the terminal. We made the trip in silence. For me, it was partially because it was the end of my snow trip, and partially in nervous anticipation of what the rest of the day would hold for me. I’d enjoyed my time, and I was going to miss it. One thing I had done was to talk to Dan, Garret and Kelly in detail about their jobs. I knew Dan was going to want to come back again next year, and I’d made the decision that I was going to apply, too. With a bit of luck, we’d have the whole season together, as well as the time we’d both be in Melbourne. That assumed that we’d still be a couple by then, but I wanted to be optimistic.

“Okay, Greg. The bus will take us down to where my car is parked. We’ll dig it out, and then come back here for our luggage,” Dan said from behind me, startling me out of my musing.

“Dig it out?” I asked as I turned around to face him.

From behind his back, he produced two wide shovels with short handles.

With a grin, he explained. “With the snow we’ve had, my car will be buried beneath a few inches of snow. Hopefully, it won’t be too much; otherwise, we’ll be spending half the afternoon getting it out. I go down every so often to clear out the snow and turn the engine over, but it’s been a couple of weeks since I last did that. With two of us, it shouldn’t take us long. Once we’ve dug it out, we’ll drive back up here, pick up gear, and then head off.”

Now I understood his question about how strong my arms were. This wasn’t quite what I’d had in plan for the afternoon. However, it was a requirement for anything else to happen, so digging time it was.

The bus left soon afterwards. There were not a lot of people on it; not surprising, considering it was a good day for skiing, and it was still early in the afternoon.

It took almost ten minutes for the bus to take us down the main road to where Dan’s car was located. It seems that most of the long term parking is just alongside the main road between Mt. Beauty and Falls Creek. Getting off the bus, I looked despairingly at a car-shaped pile of snow.

“Doesn’t look too bad,” Dan said with a shrug. “Time to get started. You take the back of the car, Greg, and I’ll dig out the front.”

“How do I make sure that I don’t scratch your car?” I asked, concerned.

“Just dig behind it,” Dan replied. “What we’re doing is trying to make enough space to get the car out. We don’t have to clear the snow from the back, as that will just fall off when we start driving. The only parts of the car itself that we have to clear are the top, windscreen and the door, but we’ll do those last. Some people don’t bother with the snow on the top, as it falls off quickly, but if you’re forced to brake suddenly, it’ll end up over the windscreen and you won’t be able to see any more.”

It now made sense. The air was crisp, but there wasn’t a lot of wind where we were, so I soon built up a sweat as I shovelled the snow aside. I was still digging when Dan told me to stop.

“That’s enough, Greg. We should be able to get it out, now. Can you clear the snow off the windscreen with your glove? I’m going to clear the door so we can get in. I also forgot to tell you that you should always check the exhaust pipe before starting the engine. If it’s blocked with snow, it’s not good for the car.”

I moved the snow away, as suggested, but there was a thin layer of ice still over the glass. You could probably see through it, but I wasn’t sure it would be safe to drive that way. I was picking at the ice, slowly breaking pieces off, when Dan put his hand on my shoulder. Pulling out a bottle of warm water from his jacket, he poured some over the ice. It quickly started to break up, and we managed to clear the rest in no time. We then cleared most of the snow off the top and were ready to go.

A few minutes later, while I stood alongside to make sure that no traffic was coming, Dan managed to ease the car out of its little niche. I quickly climbed in, and we headed back up to the village.

Dan’s car was a mess. There were cans and discarded junk food wrappers everywhere on the floor. Several pieces of equipment were clearly not part of the original manufacturer’s specifications; a typical mechanic’s car.

It wasn’t long before we pulled up in front of the oversnow terminal, and we were loading our gear into the car. Rather than put his skis on a rack, Dan just lowered the back seats of the car and slid the skis into the gap between the two front seats, using his ski boot bag to lift the ends up, away from the gear stick and hand brake. I smiled wryly as I realised the skis would make an effective little fence between us. That was probably just as well, as I didn’t really want to distract Dan while he was driving.

As we climbed back in, Dan screwed a portable CD player into a bracket above the hand brake. He caught my perplexed look, as he then flashed me a grin.

“The poor man’s car CD player,” he said cryptically. Pulling out a strange looking tape from the glove box, he put the tape into the cassette player section of the car radio. The tape had a lead running from the back of it. Plugging the lead into the headphone plug of the CD player, Dan explained.

“The tape takes the feed from the CD player and sends it straight to the heads in the tape player. As far as the player is concerned, it’s playing a tape. It’s just that the feed is really coming from the CD.”

“Very nice,” I responded, impressed at the ingenuity of using a tape player to play CD’s, “but the key question is whether or not you have some decent CD’s to play. Otherwise, it’s a waste of time.”

“My CD collection is in the bag at your feet. You get to choose the first one,” Dan said magnanimously.

As he drove off, I started to search for something decent. Dan’s collection was heavy on pop, with a smattering of older music. Finding a copy of Cold Chisel’s Chisel, I put that on and settled back to listen to Jimmy Barnes and the boys. At least I wasn’t going to have to start from scratch with Dan’s musical taste — he had a few good things in his collection. The most intriguing thing was one classical CD called Tchaikovsky’s Greatest Hits. I was going to have to ask him where that one came from. It wasn’t something I’d expected to see.

With the state of the road, I kept silent as Dan drove down the mountain. After about thirty minutes, he pulled over to the side, and opened his door.

“Come on, Greg. Time to get the chains off,” he said.

Getting out, I moved around to the rear of the car so Dan could tell me what to do. I’d been told about chains around the tyres to improve traction in the ice and snow. I’d seen them on the other vehicles in the car park up at the village, but I didn’t know how to put them on, or take them off.

It only took a minute for him to show me by taking off the one on his side of the car. As I took the other one off, he got back in the car. Driving a few feet forward, he stopped and I picked up the chains.

“That’s their job done for another year. I’ll clean them up when I’m back home,” Dan said as we stored the chains in the back of the car.

With that, we continued down the mountain. It wasn’t long before we were passing through Mt. Beauty and on our way to the wineries.

The closer we came, the more nervous I became. I was about to spend a night alone with my boyfriend; my first such night.

Dan didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he was too polite to say anything. In between his disparaging remarks about my music selections, which I thought were in extremely bad taste, as it was his collection of CD’s I was picking from, he was chatting about the wineries. It turned out that he’d never visited any before, and was looking forward to seeing them and doing some wine tasting.

We stopped off at a couple of wineries in the Myrtleford area, and we both tasted the offerings. One of the red wines was particularly good, and I decided to buy a bottle for my parents. Mum, in particular, is very partial to rich reds. Dan was careful to only take very small sips, as he told me that the weekends were notorious for the police to be on the roads, especially the main road to the snow fields. With every cop car being equipped with alcohol breath-testing kits, it wasn’t worth taking a risk on being caught driving over the legal limit.

Eventually, we ended up in Milawa. With a small country hotel within walking distance of the Brown Brothers winery and restaurant, we decided to stay there for the night. As I was paying for it, I had to fill in the paperwork. I thought of using a false name, until I realised that I’d be paying by credit card, and they might get suspicious if the names didn’t match. As it was, I’m surprised they didn’t realise what was going on; I was that tense.

We ended up with a room that had a double bed and a single bed. At least that gave the appearance that we’d be sleeping in separate beds. I didn’t know what I would’ve said if they’d told me that they only had one-bed rooms available.

We entered the room and put the small bags of things for our overnight stay in the corner. I was feeling very nervous as I looked over to where Dan was searching through drawers and cupboards.

“Not too bad,” he remarked casually, as I just watched.

Should I be doing something? We’d planned this so we’d have some private time together, and while we’d chatted a little in the car, we hadn’t been private. For the first time since we’d become a couple we were alone, with no chance of being interrupted. I wasn’t sure if I should make the first move, or leave it up to my boyfriend.

“Come on, Greg. Let’s go and have an early dinner,” Dan suggested once he’d finished checked out our room.

“Sure. I’m starving,” I replied with a sense of relief. I wasn’t really hungry, but I also wasn’t sure about the evening. Dan certainly didn’t seem to think that now was the time to start being intimate, which made me both relieved and disappointed. I was relieved, because I didn’t know if I was ready, and disappointed because I wanted to get closer to Dan and find out what it is that I’d been missing out on for so long.

Taking a deep breath, I struggled to control my emotions. Dinner was sounding more and more like a good idea. A glass or two of wine with a meal may just be what I needed to calm down.

I think Dan sensed something, because he was really great that night. In the past, he’s sometimes been a bit heavy on innuendo, but the conversation at that dinner stayed strictly on safe topics. As the night wore on, the tension I was feeling ebbed away, and my appetite returned.

We were both in a happy mood when we returned to our room. The wine had relaxed me and while I was still anxious about what was about to happen, I wasn’t overly tense.

With the door shut, Dan kicked off his shoes, threw his jacket into the corner, and sat down on the bed. I stood by the door, unsure of what to do. Should I start stripping? It seemed like that’s what I should do, but that just felt so… clinical. I wanted my first time to be special, not just throw myself into bed with someone.

Pausing as he took off his socks, Dan glanced up me. For a moment, he seemed puzzled, before a look of comprehension appeared.

“Greg,” he started gently, “we’re going to take things slowly, okay? All I’m doing is taking my shoes and socks off to get comfortable. I’m sitting on the bed, because this room only has the one chair in it.”

He paused and looked thoughtful.

“We don’t have to do anything, tonight,” he offered. “I said we should take things slowly, and I meant it. You’re still a virgin, aren’t you, Greg,” he finished gently, making it a statement, but allowing me to correct him if he was wrong.

I just nodded slowly, while watching him. I wanted to be with him, but I was scared about what to do.

“Do you trust me?” he asked quietly.

I nodded again. I didn’t have the confidence to let myself speak. Experiencing a swirling mixture of desire, fear, anxiety, concern, determination and possibly even love, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. Leaving it in Dan’s hand was an abdication of responsibility, but he’d asked the key question and my answer was simple: yes, I trusted him.

Rising to his feet, he walked over to me, pulled my head down onto his shoulder, and put his arms gently around my body. While I was comforted by his action, I really wanted to rest myself on his chest. This was one time where being taller than him wasn’t what I wanted.

“Then just relax. If you’re ready, you tell me. Otherwise, I’m only going to let things go as fast as I think they should,” Dan whispered, as he held me with one arm, and ran the other hand gently up and down my back.

As he pulled me gently towards the bed, I tensed for a moment, and then let myself follow his lead. A series of tremors I couldn’t control started to run through my body. They weren’t strong — more just as if I was shivering from the cold. The warmth of the room did nothing to help me.

“Shhhh,” Dan breathed gently into my ear, sending a different type of shiver through me. “Everything is going to be okay. I won’t do anything to hurt you, Greg. I just won’t do that.”

As a stray thought entered my mind, I started to chuckle. Finding myself out of control, I just burst out laughing, and pulled away from Dan.

My boyfriend looked puzzled.

“What’s wrong, Greg?” he asked, concerned, but with a twitch to the corner of his mouth as if he also found the situation amusing.

“I’ll do anything for love, but I won’t do that,” I sang in a very poor imitation of Meatloaf.

“I’m sorry, but that song just popped into my head, and it wouldn’t go away,” I continued, still laughing. “I’ve killed the mood, haven’t I?”

“Yes you did,” he replied, smiling, “but that mood needed to be killed. You weren’t ready, and you’re still not. Now, however, you’re the guy I fell in love with. Don’t try too hard, Greg. I like you just the way you are.”

I laughed again. “Now you’re going for Billy Joel! Are you doing this deliberately?”

I lay back on the bed, still chuckling. Dan remained sitting on the end, smiling back at me.

“Completely accidentally,” Dan replied. “Honest.”

He quickly added, “That was ‘Honest’, not ‘Honesty’ — I’m not that much a fan of Billy Joel.”

Reaching out an arm, I patted the bed next to me. The laugh had taken a big edge off my worries and now I just want Dan next to me. After raising his eyebrows in surprise, Dan grinned and lay down on my arm. Staring up at the ceiling, I pulled him gently towards me. For now, I just wanted to be close to him. We were still fully clothed, and that seemed a safe way of starting.

Dan rolled over slightly and kissed me on the cheek. I turned my head and took the next one on the lips.

“Friends first,” I whispered, as I gazed into his emerald eyes.

“Friends first,” he agreed softly, before silencing me with another kiss.

* * * * *

The next morning we headed off moderately early. I would have liked to have stayed in bed for another couple of hours with Dan — not doing anything, but just enjoying the feeling of someone next to me — but I also wanted to be home in time for lunch.

Before I got out of bed, I felt the unaccustomed weight of Dan’s tiki lying on my chest. The small greenstone pendant wasn’t uncomfortable, but I wasn’t used to it. Dan had given it to me during the night. More accurately, he lent  it to me, as he carefully explained that it wasn’t his to give away. He described how he was supposed to pass it on to his son, but as that wasn’t going to happen, he was going to give it to one of his cousins in a few years’ time. Until then, he wanted me to wear it. The edge to his voice as he told me this indicated that there was a lot more to it than he was letting on. He had a strong emotional attachment to the tiki and I was honoured that he wanted me to wear it until it was time to pass it on.

Dan and I had talked well into the night, and one of the more serious decisions I’d made was to tell my parents that day. I thought it’d be easier over a meal, and if I made it lunch, we’d have all afternoon to help my parents understand.

Quickly settling the hotel bill, we headed off. Dan drove to the Hume Highway, and then headed towards Melbourne. We’d agreed that we’d change drivers at the rest stop near Wallan, so I could drive the last section to where I lived. That was going to be a lot easier than trying to give Dan directions. The other thing is that it would also hopefully take my mind off what I was about to do…

Dan insisted on choosing the music for the drive down the Hume, over my strenuous objections. I eventually allowed him to have his way. Once the CD was playing, I worked hard to hide from Dan my real opinion of the music: it actually wasn’t that bad, but after the fuss I’d made, there was no way I was going to admit that about his Tchaikovsky CD. I hadn’t realised how much classical music I’d been exposed to, as I recognised track after track from various ads and films.

All too soon, we pulled into the Wallan rest stop. Digging through my bags, I found the P-plates that I needed to drive legally. I felt embarrassed at that, but Dan didn’t make a comment, and just ignored them. He even kept quiet as I cautiously adjusted the mirrors and seat until I was comfortable. I was fortunate that Dan had left the car so I could just drive out and I wouldn’t have to reverse. I went a bright red when I let the clutch out too fast, and the car started doing kangaroo hops through the car park. I then started to panic and crunched the gears when I didn’t push the clutch in properly.

I felt a surge of affection for Dan when he somehow managed to stay absolutely silent through all of that. I had to concentrate to make sure I didn’t make any more mistakes as we headed back to the highway, but one sideways glance showed Dan biting his lower lip, and one hand was clutched tight on the handle on the door. I don’t think I’d made a good impression.

The drive went smoother after that. By the time we were driving through the Melbourne suburbs, I was familiar with the car, and had a lot more confidence. I’m not sure if Dan had the same opinion of my driving, but I thought I was doing quite respectfully.

Approaching my home, I noticed a couple of extra cars parked in the driveway.

“Something is going on,” I remarked to Dan. “That’s Chris’ car, and that one’s Rob’s. Chris has never been to our place before. What do you think it means?”

“We’ll find out very shortly,” Dan answered. “Hopefully it’s not bad news.”

We parked the car in the street as there was no more room in the driveway. I got out and retrieved one of my bags and my ski boots, while Dan grabbed the other bag. I went up to the front door and rang the bell. I couldn’t be bothered ferreting through my bag for my house keys. All my nerves had returned with a vengeance. I was about to come out to my parents, and introduce them to my boyfriend at the same time. Having unexpected people in the house was threatening to drive me back into the closet until I was calm again. I was using the excuse that I needed to find out what was going on before I made my announcement, but deep down I knew that it was really fear that was causing me to hesitate.

Rob answered the door.

“Hey, Greg! We didn’t expect you until late tonight,” he said cheerfully. Turning his head back, he yelled back into the house. “Diane! Greg’s here!”

I heard a squeal of delight, which disturbed me. My sister never squeals.

Rob held the door open while Dan and I walked in. Dropping my bags in the corner, I was startled by my beaming sister grabbing me in a big hug.

“Hi, Greg!” she said happily. “This is fantastic. I didn’t think I could’ve held on until tonight.”

“What’s going on?” I asked, perplexed.

Diane stepped back to where Rob was grinning. As he slipped an arm around her waist, she stuck out her left hand, palm down.

“Look!” she said proudly.

She was wearing a diamond ring.

I shrugged. “Pretty, if you like that sort of thing, I suppose,” I said disparagingly.

Diane pouted and punched me in the arm with her other hand.

“Congratulations, Sis,” I grinned. “I take it Rob’s finally ready for the insane asylum. When did this happen?”

“Last night,” she answered in a dreamy tone. “He took me out for dinner on the Tramcar Restaurant and proposed after dessert, as we were going past the Albert Park Lake. After I said yes, everyone on the tram toasted us. Rob had organised the champagne ahead of time.”

“Commiserations, Rob,” I said to the smiling fool at my sister’s side. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“Congratulations, Rob, Diane,” Dan said from behind me. Realising I was blocking him from entering the room, I moved aside.

Diane and Rob looked surprised and a bit unsure of themselves.

“Hi,” Rob said hesitantly.

“You remember Dan, don’t you? He’s finished working up at the snow, so he gave me a lift home,” I explained.

“Sorry,” Diane apologised with a grin. “I knew the face, but I couldn’t place it. We weren’t expecting Greg until late tonight, when the bus got in.”

“That’s okay,” Dan replied. “We didn’t know until a few days ago that I’d be finishing up.” Turning his head to look at me accusingly, he added, “I’m a little surprised that he didn’t ring to tell anyone, though. Someone would’ve had a very worried time if they met the bus, and Greg wasn’t on it.”

I dropped my head and looked away. I should’ve rung, but my mind was busy on other things for the last few days. Anyway, I knew I’d be home well before anyone left for the bus, so it wasn’t going to be an issue. Seeking a quick change of topic, I thought of the other question that was on my mind.

“Is that Chris’ car in the driveway?” I asked Rob.

“Yeah,” Rob answered, still grinning like a fool. “Chris and Paul are out the back, cooking lunch on the barbeque. It should be ready any minute now.”

“I’ve timed it well, then,” I stated. “But why are they here?”

Rob rolled his eyes. “Your mum is already planning the wedding,” he said in a lowered voice, glancing over to where I saw my parents busy discussing something. “I mentioned that Chris was going to be my best man, and that was that. I had to invite them over straight away, so your folks could meet him. Oh, and I haven’t told them about those two. Your parents think they’re just friends.”

“I’d better go over and say hello,” I said. “Congratulations, again! It’s about bloody time, that’s all I can say.”

As Rob leant down to give Diane a light kiss on the lips, I gave Dan a nervous glance and then headed over to my parents. Was I able to do this?

“Hi, Mum, Dad!”

“Greg!” Mum exclaimed, “You’re in time for lunch. Your dad was just about to head off and get some champagne. It seems we don’t have any in the house,” she finished with an accusing glare at my dad, who blissfully ignored it.

“I’ll be back soon,” Dad promised. As he stood, he smiled faintly and held out his hand which I shook. “And since no one else seems to be doing it, welcome home! I hope you had a great time.”

“Thanks! Yes, it was fantastic! Mum, Dad, this is Dan. He gave me a lift home, which is why I’m early,” I said, waving a hand to where Dan was standing behind me. “He’s the guy whose place I was staying at,” I added quickly, as I realised that they had no idea of who he was.

“Nice to meet you,” my dad said, as he grasped the hand Dan was extending. “I hope you can stay for lunch. I’ve got to run now, before I get into more trouble for not having champagne ready on demand.” Leaning forward, he added conspiratorially, “Apparently, I was supposed to have bottles stored away for just this occasion.”

With that, he was out the door. Mum had already put me out of her mind, as she called Rob and Diane back to make more suggestions for the wedding.

Dan quietly suggested we move the gear into my room, to which I quickly agreed. My mum can be a bit of an organiser at times — I suspect that’s where Diane gets it from — and I didn’t want to be where I could be dragooned into things too easily.

It didn’t take long to move everything, and once we were done, I quietly closed the door.

“I’m sorry, Dan, but I’m not going to tell them,” I announced regretfully.

He nodded, though with a neutral expression. “It was always your call, Greg. You do it when you’re ready.”

“I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be, but that’s not why,” I replied. “This is Rob and Diane’s day. I’m not going to steal their thunder. They deserve to be the centre of attention.”

Dan raised his eyebrows in surprise, and then grinned. “I knew I liked you for a good reason,” he stated quietly. “You’re just too good, sometimes.”

“Only liked?” I responded in mock indignation.

“I love you for that, and more,” he replied, as he pulled me into his arms for a quick kiss. At least that is what I think he intended, but I had other ideas on what an appropriate length of time should be.

Eventually, he pushed me gently away. “We should be getting out of here,” he said, “before I embarrass myself.”

“I think you might be right. Let’s go out and say hello to Chris and Paul,” I said after taking a deep breath to calm my racing heart.

After a quick look to make sure that there was no sign of what we’d just been doing, we left my room and headed out. Paul spotted me as I walked out the backdoor.

“Hey, Greg! You’re back early,” he said cheerfully.

Chris turned away from the barbeque and gave me a startled grin. My feeling of elation at seeing these two guys again was quickly doused when Paul looked beyond me and snarled.

“What’s he doing here?” Paul spat.

A quick glance over my shoulder showed Dan standing in the doorway, looking sadly at Paul.

“He gave me a lift home,” I answered curtly.

“Well he’s done that, now he can get lost. We don’t need him around here,” Paul growled.

“Paul…” Dan started as he walked up next to me, but stopped when I placed a hand on his arm.

“Leave this to me,” I stated firmly. It was time to put Paul in his place. I quickly looked around to make sure we were alone and couldn’t be overheard.

Ignoring Paul, I stared at Chris, who was frowning at his boyfriend.

“Chris, will you please tell your boyfriend to leave my boyfriend alone!” I snarled in a low voice. “Oh, and tell him to get his gaydar fixed. It’s been broken ever since he met me.”

I was extremely pleased with the response to that.

Chris rocked back in surprise, but Paul’s jaw dropped almost to the floor. He just stared at me in disbelief. Reaching over, I put a finger under his chin and pushed his mouth back into its normal position. I couldn’t help grinning. Even though I was no longer infatuated with him, I still had a soft spot in my heart for Paul.

“Now,” I continued in a pleasant tone, “Can we please start this conversation again?

“Hi, Chris, Paul. I’d like to introduce you to my boyfriend, Dan.” I stated mildly.

“I think you need to work on your coming out lines, Greg,” Dan remarked dryly. “It’s usually better to ease into these things, rather than dropping it on them like a ton of bricks.”

“Do you think so?” I asked him in mock concern. “Don’t you like being introduced as my boyfriend?”

He chuckled quietly. “Not that one; your first attempt. It needs to be a little less blunt.”

I turned back to Chris. Paul looked like he was still in a state of shock.

“What do you think, Chris? Was I too blunt?” I asked solicitously.

He grinned back to me. “Maybe a little,” he conceded. “You certainly picked a dramatic way of doing it.”

I shrugged. I’d wanted to get back at those two since they didn’t tell me that Dan’s gay, and I think I succeeded.

“Seriously, guys,” Dan said quietly, “Greg was going to tell his parents today, but now he doesn’t want to spoil the day for his sister. We’d really appreciate it if we can see you sometime soon to talk things over. Greg has only been out of the closet for a few days. I was the first one he’s ever told.”

“Sure! Greg’s got our details. Just give us a call beforehand. I’d love to see you again,” Chris said, though he still seemed a little distracted. He then gave Paul a nudge. “Isn’t that right, Paul?”

Paul gave me a wry smile. “Yeah, it is.” Shaking his head, he continued. “You had me completely fooled, Greg. I’m still trying to work out where I went wrong…”

At the moment, the back door was flung open and Rob rushed out.

“Ah! There you are, Greg!” he said enthusiastically, and then paused. “I think those are done, Chris,” he stated dryly, pointing to the barbeque.

Chris spun and around and cursed as he started to rescue the meat that was now a bit on the wrong side of well-done.

Forgetting about Chris and the barbie, Rob turned to face me. “I forgot to ask you before, and I’ve only just remembered, so I’m going to ask now before I forget again.”

I laughed. “Slow down, Rob. You’re not making any sense.”

He took a deep breath. “Did I tell you that I’ve asked Chris to be my best man?” At my nod, he continued. “Well, I’d like you to be a groomsman, too. You pointed out what I’d done up at the snow, that weekend, and I want to show my appreciation. You’re also going to become family and I want that to start on a good note. How about it?”

He waited, hopefully, as I stared at him. He wants me to be a groomsman? I’ve always wanted him as a brother-in-law, and it looks like he wants me as one, too.

“Sure, Rob. I’d be honoured,” I replied humbly.

“Good!” he said with relief, “because I’ve got an important job for you to do.”

Pausing, he looked over at where Chris had almost finished rescuing the food.

“It’s the best man’s job to organise the buck’s night, but when we’ve talked about in the past, back when it was all academic, Chris had threatened to hold it at a gay nightclub, and bring in a male stripper. Can I rely on you to make sure he doesn’t do anything inappropriate?”

I struggled to hold in a smile at that.

“Sure, Rob. I promise that I won’t let him do anything that I won’t be comfortable with,” I answered carefully.

“Thanks a million!” Rob said with a smile. “I’ve got to run, but I really appreciate this. Bye!”

With that he disappeared back inside. After watching him go, I turned back to the other guys.

“A gay nightclub and a male stripper?” I asked Chris archly.

He shrugged. “I wasn’t serious,” he said. “I just couldn’t stop myself from teasing him.”

I shook my head. “No, I think it’s an excellent idea. I’ve never been to a gay nightclub.”

Grinning, I continued. “But do you think one stripper is enough? I was thinking two.”

“Hey! What do you want to go looking at male strippers for?” Dan asked, offended.

I looked back at him innocently. “I was thinking of you and Paul. You’ve both seen me strut my stuff, and I thought it was my turn to leer at you.”

“Rob’s expecting you to keep things under control,” Paul stated nervously while blushing. “This is what he doesn’t what to happen.”

“I promised him that I would make sure I was comfortable with whatever we did. He thought that was okay,” I pointed out. “I’d be happy, seeing the two of you strip, so Rob shouldn’t care.”

“I don’t think this is what Rob had in mind,” Dan said with a faint smile.

“Then he shouldn’t have picked a pair of gay guys to organise his buck’s night. Ultimately, it’s his own fault,” I replied.

Chris just shook his head. “I think Rob is in big trouble,” he said in a classic understatement.

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