For the next several hours, the boys repeated their moves as Conrad critiqued them and offered suggestions. Rafael felt slightly uncomfortable and defensive, at first, but after a while, he began to understand the logic behind what the dancer was suggesting. Jeremy was simply thrilled to be coached by one of the greatest dancers in the world.
It was not until Conrad noticed Jeremy wincing that he stopped them and approached the younger boy.
“What’s the matter?” he asked gently.
“Nothing,” Jeremy replied bravely. “Let’s try the Grand Jeté.”
“I don’t think so,” Conrad replied. “I think it’s time to stop for the day.”
“Oh, no! There’s nothing wrong!” Jeremy declared emphatically. “I have to get ready to dance for Alistair Mountjoy. I have to be at my best!”
“And, you won’t be at your best if you have blisters all over your feet, Jeremy,” Conrad responded. “You haven’t danced all summer and your feet are not as calloused as before. This is non-negotiable.”
“But…”
Rafael stepped forward and said, “Jeremy, its one thing to argue with me, but Conrad Hartsfeld is a principal dancer with Ballet of America. He has performed all over the world and is acclaimed as one of the great dancers of our time. Are you really going to argue with him after he’s been kind enough to help us for the last three hours?”
Jeremy looked down in mortification and said, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to be disrespectful! I’m sorry! I just wanted to show you that I can take anything. I want to be the best. I have to be the best. I’m so sorry if I was rude!”
Conrad smiled and placed a gentle hand on Jeremy’s face, gently tilting it up so their eyes were locked together.
“You weren’t rude or disrespectful, Jeremy. I admire your grit and determination. And it is true that the great dancers dance through the pain and we push ourselves beyond the limits of normal endurance. You will be that kind of dancer, Jeremy. I can see that. But, as great dancers, we must also be able to know our limits and not do things that will harm us in the long run. If you want to astound Alistair Friday night, you don’t need feet covered with blisters. Let’s stop now.”
Jeremy nodded and looked worshipfully into the man’s eyes. Conrad smiled down at him for several seconds before he removed his hand and turned to the older boy.
“Rafael, I will be driving out to Amagansett in the morning. I will be happy to work with the two of you again while we are out there, if you would like.”
“Um, well, sure,” the teenager replied. “Thank you!”
Conrad turned back to Jeremy and said, “Sometimes, an older dancer will take a younger dancer under his wings as a mentor, giving advice, offering a shoulder to cry on, and so forth. You impress me, Jeremy, and that is rare. Rafael impresses me, but he has Alistair and you can’t find a better mentor than he. However, if you would like, I would be pleased to mentor you. You have potential, Jeremy, and you have an attitude that I admire. Would you like that?”
Jeremy looked at the man in shock, his eyes wide, his mouth open in utter amazement. “Do you mean it?” he breathed.
Conrad smiled and nodded. “Lionel Mountjoy took me under his wing when I was training here and I would not be the dancer I am today were it not for that valuable experience. I would consider it a privilege. After all, fifteen years from now, when you’re a principal and renowned around the world, you may find a boy who deserves to be mentored, as well. And, I want to be able to tell people that I helped you become the great dancer I know you will be.”
Jeremy’s eyes grew moist and he was trembling with emotion as he replied, “Yes. Thank you.”
Conrad smiled again and then turned to Rafael.
“As I say, I’m driving out tomorrow. Perhaps, Jeremy can ride out with me. I’m taking my new Porsche 911 out on the road for the first time. Perhaps he would enjoy riding along. We can discuss Ballet Academy and Ballet of America while we get to know each other a little better and Jeremy can get a taste for the best of German engineering.”
Rafael struggled to maintain a smile on his face as he saw the eagerness on Jeremy’s face. “That…sounds great,” he replied, trying his hardest to sound enthused.
Conrad nodded and leaned over to the teenager, whispering in his ear, “I know the two of you are in love. I assume you are still sleeping with Alistair?”
Rafael turned pale and whispered, “No! Um, once. Uh, how did you know?”
Conrad simply smiled. “Every boy of talent and beauty needs a mentor,” he whispered back.
Rafael swallowed and nodded solemnly. “I…understand.”
“Good,” the man replied, reverting to a normal voice as he turned to face Jeremy. “I’ll be by at nine o’clock. I’ll call before leaving my apartment. Where shall I pick you up?”
Rafael answered for Jeremy, “West Eighty-Sixth, between Broadway and Amsterdam.”
“Oh, excellent! Just two blocks from where I live!” Conrad replied. “That will be perfect.”
He extended his hand to Jeremy, who shook it. “Until tomorrow morning, then. It’s a pleasure to know you, Jeremy.”
“Thank you, sir. Thank you,” the boy replied.
“Jeremy, I’m doing this because you deserve it. You’re gifted.”
He winked and then slapped Rafael on the back and blew a kiss to Dylan on the way out the door.
Rafael looked at Dylan with concern and Dylan pressed his lips together. Jeremy, however, was moved to tears.
“Rafael,” he cried, his voice breaking. “Rafael, I don’t believe this! I can’t believe it! Conrad Hartsfeld wants to be my mentor! Conrad Hartsfeld! My mentor! My mentor! Can you believe it? Can you believe it?”
Rafael forced himself to appear thrilled for the boy. He stepped over to him and wrapped his arms around the boy. “I’m so proud of you, Jeremy. I knew you were good, but I don’t think you realized you were that good. You see, now? You see, Jeremy? Can you accept that you’re a gifted dancer?”
He looked down into the boy’s eyes and Jeremy nodded.
“Yes, I see it now. I mean, I’m not stupid. I’ve always known I was good. But…to have Conrad Hartsfeld of all people tell me how good I am…and for him to want to mentor me! Rafael, I can’t believe it!”
Rafael held the boy tightly as Jeremy lay his face against his chest. Dylan walked over to them and met Rafael’s eye.
“Call me later,” he said. “I need to shower and get out of here.”
Rafael nodded and Dylan gave him a significant look. “Seriously. Call me.”
“Okay,” Rafael replied with a worried look.
“It’ll be okay,” Dylan added. “We have to talk, though.”
Rafael nodded and then kissed the top of Jeremy’s head, burying his face in the boy’s sweaty, red hair. Dylan turned and left the studio. Rafael whispered into Jeremy’s ear, “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s shower and get home. I want to take care of your feet. Okay?”
Jeremy looked up with beatific smile and whispered, “All right.”
—o-0-o—
Mario de Stefano was in the shower in the locker room for the company’s danseurs. He was partially erect, as he often was after a workout in the weight room. Hot water flowed down the strong, soapy body, off the black curls atop his head and down the strong back to the massive thighs and powerful calves. He rubbed the soap into his skin and closed his eyes as his erection came to life.
He felt strong hands on his hips and a familiar cock sliding into his ass cheeks. He smiled.
“I didn’t know you were here, Conrad,” he said. “What’s kept you here on an August afternoon?”
“I think I’m in love,” Conrad replied as he breathed into Mario’s ear, his hands sliding up the Italian dancer’s strong, smooth body.
“I’ve told you a thousand times,” Mario replied. “I’m not into monogamy.”
“It’s not you, jackass,” Conrad replied as his tongue snaked around Mario’s left ear.
Mario turned around, his strong, soapy body sliding across Conrad’s slender, yet powerful body. Their rigid erections slid up their abdomens as Conrad brought his lips to Mario’s. After a long, deep kiss, tongues wrestling and breath exchanged, Conrad pulled away and replied, “A trainee. A new kid.”
“Oh, God,” Mario replied with a knowing smile. “The Curse of the Twenty-nine-Year-Old.”
Conrad smiled and raised as eyebrow as he asked, “What are you talking about?”
Mario chuckled and said, “Every time a danseur in the company turns twenty-nine, they either become wildly promiscuous and try not to lose their youth, or they start looking at the females and thinking of settling down, or they turn to the academy and develop an insatiable hunger for the delights down there.”
“Too late, Mario. I’ve already dipped my toe in that particular cesspool.”
Mario nodded and said, “Oh, yeah. I forgot about Dylan. By the way, have you had Rafael yet?”
“No, though I have no doubt I could after this afternoon,” Conrad replied. “I get the impression I may be the only danseur in the company who hasn’t.”
“Just about. So, tell me about this newby.”
“Jeremy Fenwick.”
“Oh, my God! You can’t be serious?”
Conrad frowned and asked, “You know him?”
Mario shook his head and replied, “No, but that name. My God, he sounds like a little dream boy.”
Conrad looked away with distaste. “I would like to think I’m not that superficial or predatory. He is fantastic, however. Red hair, freckles, a gymnast’s body. He’s twelve and he’ll be starting here next month, but it’s not the outside that has grabbed me, though he is certainly the hottest twelve-year-old since Rafael to come in.”
“Don’t tell me the great Conrad Hartsfeld with his ice water blood and his granite heart is actually falling in love,” Mario taunted.
Conrad slowly pulled away from the beautiful Italian man and started a second shower head. As he adjusted the water, he said, “This boy is different. He’s special. He is utterly devoted to ballet and he’s gifted. He has a grace and elegance that is almost impossible to find in boys that age. And, looking at him, you’d never know he was a dancer were it not for those thighs. He could easily pass for a football player.
“I know you love fucking muscle boys,” Mario remarked as he resumed bathing.
Conrad shook his head. “Jeremy is…different. I won’t take him to bed…yet. Maybe later. I don’t know. This boy is special. He truly needs to be nurtured and mentored. The only problem is he lives with Rafael.”
“Oh, Lord!” Mario replied. “He’ll already be fucking the Heinous Anus.”
Conrad shook his head and said, “I don’t think so. I think Rafael is actually in love and I think he’s sincere. I think the Heinous Anus has finally met someone who has taken his heart.”
“But, what about Alistair?”
Conrad’s face darkened. “I know for a fact that Rafael is the only boy Alistair has ever fucked at Ballet Academy. I think when Alistair needs to satisfy that particular demon, he heads down to Times Square. But Rafael…he mentors Rafael. He truly loves Rafael. That’s what I want with Jeremy. I want to mentor him. I want to be his friend. I want to give him what he needs but won’t get from Ballet Academy. He has the potential to be one of the greats and he needs more than Ballet Academy can give him. Just as Alistair is giving Rafael that extra something, I want to help Jeremy get the hints and nuances, the performance insights required to shine twenty years from now.”
Mario frowned as he looked at the strong, slim man with white blond hair. “You’re serious, aren’t you”? You really mean this. You’re not taking Jeremy to bed?”
“I won’t rule it out, but that’s not what this boy needs, though I’m sure it would take nothing to persuade him. He had an erection from the moment Dylan introduced us before lunch this morning. No, Jeremy needs to dance. He needs someone to guide him. He needs someone he can trust.”
Mario raised an eyebrow as he rinsed the soap from his body. “You’re scaring me. I’ve never heard you speak this way before. You aren’t one of those pod people from Invasion of the Body Snatchers, are you?”
Conrad smiled and said, “I’ve met the perfect boy, Mario. I can’t destroy that.”
Mario turned off his water and said, “Well, have at it. I’m off to Provincetown tomorrow and I won’t be back until the night before we start working on Corsair.”
“You should come back a few days earlier and put a little work in before we start.”
Mario smiled and said, “You’re always Mr. Professional. You need to live, Conrad.”
“Oh, I do,” the blond replied. “I live very intensely.”
Mario shook his head, but grinned before turning and leaving the shower. Conrad closed his eyes and put his face in the shower stream, letting the hot water flow off his face and down his perfectly sculpted body. However, he was barely conscious of it. What were filling his mind were images of the afternoon he’d just spent. All he could think of was Jeremy Fenwick.
—o-0-o—
“This has been the most glorious day of my life,” Jeremy declared as the two walked through the doors of Ballet Academy and out onto the sidewalk along the street.
“Well, it’s not over yet,” Rafael replied as he stepped out to the curb and waved down a cab. “We still have six hours before bedtime.”
“I have to wait that long?” Jeremy asked with a naughty grin.
“Slut,” Rafael replied with a smile as a cab pulled up to the curb.
Jeremy took a deep breath and looked away as he tried to suppress his sudden doubts and shame. He climbed into the cab as Rafael gave the driver their address and sat back.
“Why are we taking a cab instead of riding the bus?”
“Because of your feet,” Rafael replied. “Besides, we deserve a little luxury today. You’ve had such a great day, I don’t want to diminish it.”
“I really have. I can’t believe that Conrad Hartsfeld worked with us and wants to be my mentor. I have to write to Benji and Aunt Jane and tell them about my first day in New York and how wonderful everything is!”
“You should write to your brother, too,” Rafael suggested as the cab crossed Seventh Avenue.
Jeremy shrugged and said, “Yeah, I guess. I hope Brian cares.”
“He does,” Rafael replied. “I know you have a lot of resentments from the way he treated you over the years, but I think he’s really sorry.”
“If he isn’t drunk or stoned and can remember who I am,” Jeremy replied bitterly. “I just don’t understand why my parents always treated him so special and left me alone. I just don’t get it.”
Rafael frowned with sympathy and pain for the boy, but said nothing. He simply put his arm around him and hugged him tightly.
—o-0-o—
Teddy was sitting at his desk in the study when the boys entered the apartment.
“Teddy! Teddy! I had the most wonderful day!” Jeremy cried as he ran into room.
Teddy turned and grinned with reflected joy at the boy. They hugged tightly and the man said, “You must tell me everything!”
Rafael winked and nodded as he passed by the door and let Jeremy describe the day’s events. After informing him of Conrad Hartsfeld’s desire to mentor Jeremy, however, the man’s smile dimmed slightly. He remained upbeat and positive, but he looked up at the door as Rafael returned.
“Hey, Urchin! Go take your shoes and socks off and I’ll be in there in a minute to take care of your feet.”
“Hey, I’m not a little kid!” Jeremy declared. “I can do it myself.”
Teddy chuckled and said, “Remember the famous Anacin commercial? ‘Mother! Please! I can do it myself!”
Rafael rolled his eyes and said, “I want to do it my own special Rafael way, unless you want to suck your own dick.”
Jeremy blushed and looked away from Teddy and replied, “Oh, um, well, um, I mean…”
“Get out of here, brat. I have some secret grown-up stuff to talk over with Teddy.”
“Hey! I’ll show you who’s grown up!” Jeremy declared before Rafael muttered, “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” He shoved the protesting boy out the door.
“Ain’t love grand?” Teddy asked.
“Yes, it it,” Rafael replied. “But I want to talk to you about something.”
Teddy pointed to the door and Rafael closed it. As he turned around, Teddy softly asked, “Conrad Hartsfeld?”
Rafael nodded.
“Dylan suggested we ask him to help us with ‘Dance of the Friends’. Dylan dated him for a while and said he’s like the resident expert on Ice Prince. Well, he was great, but Jeremy quite obviously fell for him and at the end, Conrad offered to mentor him. Plus, he wants to drive Jeremy out to Alistair’s tomorrow.”
“Oh, dear. Is he…?”
“I don’t know. Dylan wants me to call him. He dated Conrad briefly. I never knew Conrad Hartsfeld had a heart. He’s always been the coldest and most…professional dancer in the company. He’s like a dancing Spock, if you can imagine. I’ve never been able to understand how he can put so much beauty and emotion into his dancing when he’s basically a Prussian robot with everyone else.”
“Will he hurt Jeremy?”
“I don’t know. Jeremy can use the mentoring. Except for Mario de Stefano or Jacob Linley, Conrad’s the best dancer in the company. In some ways, he’s even better than Mario or Jacob. I mean, I wouldn’t be what I am today if it weren’t for Alistair. Jeremy can use the mentoring, but…I’m just afraid of what the cost will be.”
“I’m not comfortable with Jeremy driving out to Amagansett alone with him. Can you at least ride along?”
Rafael shook his head and said, “It’s a Porsche 911.”
Teddy shook his head and asked, “What is that?”
“It’s a race car. The back seat is microscopic and the car’s designed for the autobahn, not for New York City driving.”
“Oh, God. No. We can’t allow this.”
Rafael frowned and said, “Jeremy will be crushed. He’s so excited. We can’t say no now.”
“Will Conrad be safe?”
“He’s Spock, like I said. I’m sure. It’s just Jeremy being alone with him. I mean, how much trouble can he get into out in the open with the top down? It’s the emotional element that has me worried. What if Jeremy’s just the flavor of the week at Baskin-Robbins for Conrad? And, how much time will Conrad realistically have to devote to Jeremy? He’s in the company. They don’t get up and arrive at the studios until ten or eleven in the morning. And they don’t get out until nine or ten at night. If its a performance night, he won’t get home until after two or three. The only time they can get together is a Saturday afternoon or Sunday, unless, once again, there’s a performance.”
Teddy nodded and said, “Its not much different with you and Alistair, yet he finds time to work with you in the studio.”
“Jeremy’s an all-or-nothing type, though. I just don’t want him to get his hopes up and then have them dashed by a dancer who can’t make time for Jeremy because of his hectic schedule. Besides, Conrad does extra work with other companies. I just worry that Jeremy’s going to expect more than Conrad can give him…or will give him.”
Teddy nodded and asked, “You’re not worried about the sexual aspect?”
Rafael sighed and replied, “I don’t know if there’s going to be a sexual aspect. That’s the real thing. I just don’t know. And, how can I ask? ‘Hey, Conrad. Are you going to molest my boyfriend?’”
Teddy nodded and said, “Perhaps I need to have a talk with Conrad at the house and see what his intentions are. We won’t have the issues of rank between us that you and Conrad would have.”
Rafael nodded and then said, “You know, maybe I shouldn’t worry about the sexual aspect. I mean, Alistair and I have done it and…well, I’m a lot less…insane than I was. Maybe, Conrad would be a good and…loving sexual mentor, too. I don’t know. I…I’m just so confused about it all.”
“Call Dylan.”
“I will. Later,” Rafael replied. He stood up. “In the meantime, I’m going to take care of Jeremy’s feet. He’s starting to get blisters. Um, we might be a while.”
Teddy smiled and said, “I’ll order Chinese take-out for later.”
Rafael smiled and whispered, “Thank you.”
Teddy smiled and nodded. Rafael turned and walked out the door.
Jeremy was lying on the bed, having removed his sneakers and socks, when Rafael entered. The boy smiled up at him and said, “This is the most wonderful day.”
“Yes, it is,” Rafael replied as he walked past the bed toward the bathroom. When he returned, he was carrying a tube of ointment and some bandages. He sat down on the side of the bed and began to carefully massage Jeremy’s feet. The younger boy moaned.
“So, what do you think of Conrad?” Rafael asked carefully.
“Oh, Rafael, he’s so…handsome and he’s such a beautiful dancer and…I can’t believe that he wants to mentor me! Me!”
Rafael nodded and said, “It’s not uncommon for one of the dancers to take a trainee under his wings like this. And, you are a terrific dancer, Jeremy, so it’s not surprising one of the top dancers in the company would take an interest in you.”
Jeremy watched Rafael as he began to apply the ointment to his right foot. He studied him for several seconds before he asked, “Rafael, can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” Rafael replied with a smile.
“You’ve…done stuff with Alistair.”
Rafael nodded and said, “It wasn’t exactly ‘stuff’. He took me to bed and made love to me. It was beautiful. Truly beautiful. Everything a romantic boy would dream of.”
Jeremy pressed his lips together in thought for another long moment as Rafael applied the bandages to the foot. He took a deep breath and asked, “Will Conrad want to do that with me?”
Rafael didn’t look up. He focused his energy on the bandages before replied, “I honestly don’t know, Jeremy. Often, these kinds of relationships include…going to bed, but I don’t know if Conrad is expecting that or not.”
Jeremy nodded and Rafael moved to the boy’s left foot. After a moment, he asked, “Do you want him to?”
Jeremy didn’t answer right off, which in itself answered Rafael’s question in the teenager’s mind. After a few seconds, the boy replied, “I love you, Rafael. I don’t want to do it with anyone else.”
“But…”
Jeremy looked at Rafael and whispered, “Yes. I do.”
Rafael looked up and smiled. “Of course, you do, Jeremy. You’d be insane not to. Conrad is a beautiful, handsome man. He has the perfect dancer’s body, he’s an amazing dancer. There would be no reason why you wouldn’t. But, Jeremy, I don’t know that he would want to do it. After all, he’s twenty-nine and you’re twelve. There’s the moral issue to consider, and a legal one, and it’s possible that he prefers men.”
“But, he dated Dylan.”
Rafael nodded and said, “I really don’t know if he’s going to want to do that with you or not. But, I want you to know that I don’t want you to be hurt. I don’t want to see you get your hopes up for a romantic relationship with Conrad or a serious mentoring relationship and then have your hopes dashed because he’s so busy. You have to understand, Conrad is one of the three top male dancers with Ballet of America. He will be in every major production this year. He’ll go on tour. Plus, he has his own engagements with other companies around the country and across the Atlantic. He may not have much time to devote to you, Jeremy. I don’t want to hurt you or disappoint you, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up and think this is your magic Prince and that all’s going to be romance and Cinderella and beautiful.”
Jeremy nodded and looked down at his foot as Rafael bandaged it. The teenager continued, “I don’t get to spend more than a couple of days a month with Alistair. Of course, he’s got a lot more on his plate than Conrad, but you shouldn’t expect to see him more than once or twice a month, on a Saturday afternoon or a Sunday. Plus the dancers in the company work later than we do and their schedules don’t mesh well with ours. And, when you do have time, you may be so tired and he may be so tired that neither of you wants to do anything except sleep. Things are different when you’re at this level in the ballet world. There’s almost no downtime. This is the big leagues, Jeremy.”
The boy nodded and said, “I understand.”
Rafael grinned as he reached up Jeremy’s legs and began to massage the rise in the front of the boy’s shorts. “So, how about I take care of this boner you’ve had since eleven-fifteen this morning, then we can hold each other and take a nap?”
Jeremy smiled and said, “That sounds like a plan. ”
Rafael nodded and as he began to unfasten Jeremy’s belt, he added, “And, you can close your eyes and dream about your Prince Conrad and I won’t even mind.”
Jeremy smiled and said, “You’re my only prince, but…he is beautiful.”
Rafael nodded, but inside he was crying. How could he, Rafael Colón, with his reputation, be jealous if the sweet boy before him found a man attractive? And, what could he do to protect Jeremy? And, should he?
Maybe a broken heart was what Jeremy needed to toughen him up to face the harsh realities of the new world in which he found himself.