JULIEN
II
Chapter 82
Speculation
I'm absolutely sure it was somewhere around here.
I don't doubt your memory for a moment, Subadar, said Wenn Hyaï, but it looks as if your infamous sacrificial altar isn't here any more.
That's all the more reason to find it. Places like that don't just disappear for no reason at all. These altars have to be set up in certain specific places, places that are stable geologically and... well, stable in other ways too.
“Master Subadar,” said Ambar, “Xarax says he's going have a look around and try to pick something up.”
The haptir rose into the air and started riding the thermals which were starting to form above the rocks of the desert. He scanned the ground carefully but remained vigilant to his surroundings at the same time: Tandil was unforgiving to those who underestimated its dangers. He wasn't worried about his companions, though: Subadar, Ugo and Wenn Hyaï weren't the type to let themselves be taken unawares and could be relied upon to keep a careful eye on the Nyingtchik, who certainly wouldn't last long if left to their own devices. Ambar and Yülien were undoubtedly brave beyond their years, but they didn't have any experience of an environment as hostile as this one. They could be stung to death by a mere nayak before they were able to step out of its way.
He flew in great circles above their point of arrival, each wider than the last, staying about three hundred metres above the ground. This enabled him to look out for any hostile predators while at the same time searching for any trace of their own prey. He didn't forget to keep an eye on the sky, either: he had no wish to become an incubator for the young of the rakhan or other creatures of that kind.
He modified his corneal filters, allowing him to explore the whole range accessible to his vision, which covered everything from medium ultraviolet to near infra-red. And it was in that part of the spectrum that he found an anomaly: everywhere the desert air, warmed to a greater or lesser extent by the rocks below, swirled upwards above the rocks, except in one place. One small area looked curiously inert, as if the rays of the now scorching sun had no power to heat the desert. It didn't take a genius to work out that something was hiding there, something which broadcast its presence, paradoxically, by the absence of activity in the air above it.
It took them less than ten minutes' of stealthy approach, all senses on high alert, to reach the place.
“If the altar is actually there, and I'm pretty sure it is,” said Subadar, “it's in use and someone is hiding it. And I'm very much afraid that that someone is a Dre tchenn. I'd suggest that the rest of you withdraw and let Yol and me do what we need to.”
Guided by Xarax, Ambar, Yülien and Wenn Hyaï moved away to take up a position on a large flat rock which not only had the advantage of a clear view over the surrounding countryside, but which was also free from the sort of crack in its surface that might harbour unpleasant specimens of the local wildlife.
While Xarax was constantly moving around so as to keep an effective watch, Wenn Hyaï stayed with the Nyingtchik, which allowed him to communicate with them while continuing to observe the two figures who were busy close to the supposed position of the altar. Yülien was the more restless of his two protégés and it wasn't long before he started asking questions.
Master Wenn Hyaï, what exactly is Master Subadar trying to do? he asked.
I think he's going to try to reveal the place where Julien is being held prisoner.
Yes, I know. But how is he going to do that?
I don't know.
He said something about a rite from the Dark Arts. Is that what he's going to do?
Perhaps.
Wenn Hyaï was extremely uneasy.
So why does he need Akou Ugo with him?
I don't know. This isn't exactly my area of expertise.
Actually the old Master Guide had a pretty shrewd idea of what was going on, but he had no wish to share his thoughts with his two disciples. He didn't even want to think about it himself. But Yülien was as stubborn as he was gifted and he rarely let a question go before he had received a satisfactory answer to it. And of course his constant connection to his chenn-da Ambar had greatly enhanced his ability to use logic.
It can't be because he might need to jump, because Akou Ugo can't do that any more.
Yülien!
What? I'm not making fun of him for it – he's the greatest Guide of all time... well, him and Akou Aïn. And the only reason he can't jump now is because he saved Yulmir. Akou Julien told me about it. And Akou Julien is Yulmir. And I love Akou Ugo as much as I love Akou Julien, and I'd never let anyone make fun of him!
I'm sure you wouldn't. And you're right, of course.
So why is he there, if it's not to do with jumping? He isn't a Master of the Major Arts like Master Subadar. I don't think he can know anything about the rites and stuff like that... maybe he's there because he's Master Subadar's chenn-da? Perhaps he doesn't want to leave him to fight... whatever it is they think is there on his own. Is that it, do you think?
Wenn Hyaï thought it was something quite different, and he was getting more and more sure every minute, but he had no intention of sharing his thoughts with an over-precocious young Guide. Nor did he want to tell the young human genius about it, either. But Ambar didn't need to have things spelled out: his logical mind was fully capable of processing the most disparate pieces of information, putting them together and reaching a solid conclusion.
The Key! he exclaimed mentally. Ugo is going to be the key – I'm almost sure!
Wenn Hyaï didn't even attempt to deny it, because this was the same unpleasant conclusion he had reached himself. Every Dark rite entailed the sacrifice of a victim, and the more powerful the entity involved, the more precious the victim had to be. But the vital thing about the whole business was that it always involved the sacrifice, precious or otherwise, being put to death, and that ought to have been absolutely anathema to everything Subadar believed in. It was one thing to kill someone in a fight; it was something else entirely to offer a sentient being as a sacrifice to some abomination or other.
It wasn't simply forbidden, but it ought to have been impossible, too. Even if he wanted to do it Subadar should not have been able to develop the state of mind which made such a thing capable of producing the correct result. It would be easier for him to breathe under water. The only way it could work would be if the sacrifice was a willing volunteer, someone who would not only welcome death, but the unspeakable pain that would inevitably precede it. Subadar would no more suggest such a thing than he would sacrifice an unwilling victim. And Ugo must have known that, which is why he had volunteered to be the sacrifice.
What do you mean? asked Yülien.
Ambar immediately regretted speaking without stopping to think first. Sadly impeccable logic is no guarantee against blunders.
oo0oo
Sabadar looked at the big black dog, its shaggy head making it look like just another animal, though he knew that behind the large brown eyes his chenn-da, his other self, was hiding.
“Yol, my friend – are you sure?”
“Yes. Anyway, a dog doesn't live very long, so I'm only giving up a few years at most. And you know as well as I do that this is the best thing I can do.”
“Sometimes the moral compass of you Guides makes me mad!”
“That's not true at all – in my place you would do exactly the same thing. This offers me a unique opportunity to make amends for everything I did wrong. Surely you wouldn't want to stop me from doing that?”
“'Everything you did wrong'?! You sacrificed yourself for your Emperor! Technically you died for him!”
“That's the point – I didn't. I chose not to die. Another died in my place.”
“He hadn't even been born and had no consciousness.”
“We've already discussed this. Because I took his place that puppy was never born. And it's also my fault that Julien is where he is now.”
“You can't take responsibility for that!”
“The boy never asked to be sent back to the R'hinz. He was happy where he was.”
“But...”
“The worst thing is that he doesn't even bear me a grudge because of it.”
“But... it's Yulmir!”
“Yes... well, sort of. In any case he's doing his best not to disappoint everyone.”
“But I...”
“You love him. I know you do – almost as much as I do. And that's why we're here – to save him from a fate literally worse than death. So let's stop dithering and get on with it.”
“I'm going to have to hurt you, you know.”
“Obviously.”
“I don't know if I can do that.”
“Subadar, please. Let's just say goodbye now. Then you can do what you have to knowing that I'll welcome any pain that will allow you to reach Julien. And...”
“Yes?”
“Don't tell him... well... just tell him that I died fighting. And tell him I died happy. Because that will be the truth.”
oo0oo
Ambar, talk to me – how can he be a key?
I don't know.
Don't lie! Answer me – please?
I'm not lying. I really don't know. I'm guessing, that's all.
Well, what are you guessing, then?
Promise you'll stay calm if I tell you.
It's dangerous, isn't it?
Yes, I think so.
Master Wenn Hyaï, tell me – what's going on?
Calm down, Yülien. We might need you, and you'll be no use to anyone in that state.
Yülien took a dozen steady breaths as he tried to follow the calming exercises he had been taught.
I still want to know what's going on, he said.
There was no point in hoping he'd just give up: they knew he'd just keep pressing until he got an answer. Ambar took a deep breath.
All right, he said. I think Master Subadar will have to... I mean... I think he's going to kill him.
What?!!
I think that's precisely why Ugo came with us.
But we can't let them do that!
Can you think of a way to stop them?
Well, we can go down there now and...
Look, if you're sure that's what you want to do I'll come with you, obviously. But it won't do any good – we'll just get in the way and then they'll send us back to Nüngen before they try again. All we'd do would be to delay rescuing Julien.
But... it's wrong! It's not fair!
If Ugo thinks it's the right thing to do, do you reckon you can persuade him that you know more than he does and that he should change his mind?
But I don't want him to die!
Nobody does, and especially not Subadar. Ugo's his chenn-da, remember.
But I could never kill you – not even if you asked me to!
Nor could I. But we're not Grand Masters, are we?
If that's what being a Grand Master means, I never want to be one!
oo0oo
Chapter 83
Revelation
“I knew I wasn't Yulmir, but nobody would believe me!”
The cessation of pain came as a tremendous relief to him, and with it came the perception that there was someone with him – within him. It was a presence he had never felt before, but now he was aware that there was someone who existed in and alongside him, someone as real as he was real himself. Someone who, he realised, had access to his complete being – every memory, sensation, emotion, yearning, everything that made him the person he was. And yet, someone who had remained completely inaccessible.
“That's not surprising. To everyone who had any knowledge of the situation there was no alternative: you could only be Yulmir. We were so closely entwined that it was impossible for anyone to tell us apart, any more that they could tell which was wine and which was water once one has been poured into the other.”
“But that's not the case any longer?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Pain. Psychological strain. Loathing. You're the one who separated us, and you did it without having any idea what you were doing.”
“And now you've fixed it so that I can't feel anything?”
“Yes. I've put us into deep stasis. But we can't stay like this indefinitely.”
“So how long can we stay like it?”
“Your question is meaningless. We will emerge from the stasis at exactly the moment we entered it.”
“Why didn't you speak to me before?”
“I couldn't. And to answer the question you're not asking, if I didn't allow you access to my mind it was to protect you. I have lived for thousands of years. I have managed to get rid of a lot of my memories, but what remains would be quite sufficient to make you age abominably in an instant. I've already done you far too much harm as it is.”
“Well, now that you're here... I mean, I suppose you've always been here, but... anyway, can we jump out of here?”
“I don't think so. I'll try once we come out of the stasis, but I'm virtually certain it will be impossible. We're stuck in a bar-do, a hiatus, and I think I know the Dre tchenn who has set it up. Bar-dos don't belong in our universe. We're both present and absent. It's actually a remarkable trap.”
“So what are we going to do?”
“Well, if it was just me I think I would get an opportunity to solve a problem which has been troubling me for a very long time.”
“You mean that you could finally manage to die permanently, I suppose.”
“Yes, in a way.”
“And am I stopping you from doing that?”
“No, what's stopping me is the little that remains of my sense of morality. I don't want to take you into annihilation with me, and nor to I want to leave you here in the clutches of a Dre tchenn.”
“Thank you for that. So does that mean that you're going to try to get both of us out of here?”
“Yes.”
“How are you going to do that?”
“The Dre tchenn thinks he only has one victim, and he thinks he has him totally under his control. We're not going to do anything to make him aware of his mistake because if he knew there were two of us we'd have no chance: he'd simply become two as well. To all intents and purposes he is innumerable. There's only one of his avatars out there because he thinks that's all that is necessary.”
“Won't he realise something is wrong when we come out of the stasis?”
“That's when things are going to get complicated. I'll have to hide or, rather, to disappear. I'll have to leave you on your own. And that's not the worst of it, either. In theory I could help you to dampen down your sensations and so make you suffer less. But if I do that the Dre tchenn will know it straight away. It's your pain that he's after.”
A long time seemed to pass while Julien tried to control the terror which seized him at the thought of returning to that inferno of agony. Finally he asked:
“How long will it last?”
“If you prefer I can kill you painlessly. The Dre tchenn can stop you killing yourself, but he can't stop me killing you while we're in stasis.”
“Will that set you free as well?”
“That's not really the issue.”
“You can't lie to me, can you?”
“No. You'd feel it immediately.”
“Can't we just wait here? I'm sure I've got people looking for me.”
“I'm sure you're right. If I know anything about Subadar, he's on his way here now. He came here once before, a long time ago, and he must realise by now that dark sorcerers are involved in what has happened to you. Unfortunately I have to remind you that no time is passing out there. We could stay her for an eternity, and yet when we emerge from the stasis not a single atom will have moved. If you're going to be rescued, time has to start moving again.”
“All right. So how long?”
“I don't know.”
“What will happen if you... if I ask you to make me die?”
“I can put out your... what makes you you, your awareness that you exist... I can put that out like a flame on a candle. You will feel nothing. You will just cease to be. From your point of view it will just be like a sleep without dreams.”
“I'll just never wake up, you mean?”
“'Never' is a very big word but, basically, that's right.”
“What about you? What will happen to you?”
“You don't have to worry about that. It's not your problem.”
“I think I have a right to know, though.”
“I suppose you do. Well, if you're not there I'll inherit a body in perfect condition – yours – and come out of stasis. When the Dre tchenn realises what has happened he's likely to be furious, but sooner or later Subadar will turn up. Then I'll do what I have to, and either I'll free myself or I'll die. If I die the story starts up all over again...”
“But you'll have an opportunity to free yourself. Does that mean you'll be able to do what you want – that you could stop being reborn as the Emperor?”
“Yes, but I'd have a far better chance of success if you were with me.”
“How come?”
“Probably you don't realise this, but you've achieved some astonishing results, things I could never achieve myself.”
“I doubt that very much.”
“Well, for a start you succeeded in winning over Xarax. I was never able to do that. For your sake he has been able to resist his conditioning. If I'd been able to do that this would all have been over long ago. And then you've united a unique Nyingtchik.”
“They're both geniuses. I had nothing to do with it.”
“Without you Ambar would still be running about on the quays in Aleth and Yülien would be no more than a promising Guide still on his way to maturity. Don't underestimate the influence you have, or your value.”
“What value?”
“Why do you think people love you? It's not just because you're nice to look at, or because you're the Emperor, I assure you. It's because they can see in you what you don't seem able to see yourself. It would be a terrible pity to lose that. But it has to be your decision.”
“I'm scared. It was terrible. I couldn't take that again. I'd sooner die right now.”
“I understand.”
“If you... if you do manage to get away, try to explain things to Ambar. At least he'll still have Yülien, so maybe it'll be less of a... And my parents. I don't want them to know how... And... all right, look, let's give it a try.”
“If you're sure?”
“You pull us out of stasis, just for a few seconds, and then take us back. Can you do that?”
“Yes.”
“Maybe if we do it like that, a bit at a time, with breaks between, I can manage. Don't you think so?”
Yulmir hesitated for a moment.
“No,” he said. “I don't think so. And I don't want...”
“But...”
“I don't want anyone suffering in my place any longer. Nor do I want other people to suffer the consequences of my bad decisions. And I want you to have a chance to live your own life. We're going to fight. Together. Are you with me?”
Despite the desperate situation Julien couldn't help making a feeble joke.
“Frankly,” he said, “I'd sooner spend a day at the dentist's. But I suppose there isn't much of a choice...”
oo0oo