JULIEN

II

Chapter 44

Misery

Julien decided that the teachings of the church were wrong: actually, Hell was cold and damp. Despite the remarkable qualities of his abba and the additional cover provided by the blanket, made of something described on its label as 'Synthetic Pyrenean Wool', he had hardly slept a wink during the night. Furthermore, he was hungry. Really hungry. Until now he had led a fairly sheltered life and so had only experienced appetite, the sort of appetite normal for a healthy, growing boy. But what he was starting to feel now was something very different: it was a kind of obsession which refused to leave his mind, and which grew even stronger when he considered that he wouldn't be able to find anything to eat unless he went back to an inhabited area.

He was hungry, and growing increasingly so. And there was nothing to eat. He'd been down to the stream to drink and found the water clear and with no particular taste, but he knew that water alone wasn't going to solve his problem. He didn't really want water – what he wanted was a ham sandwich with butter and pickles. A whole, crunchy demi-baguette filled with tasty ham, and maybe a few slices of Gruyère cheese...

In fact if the opportunity were to present itself he'd even settle for a large plateful of the magnificent canned ravioli he had stuffed down his throat the previous day. Followed by apricots in syrup. Even without bread he thought it would be a meal fit for a king – or even an Emperor...

A bit of sunshine would be nice, too. The weather was still thoroughly miserable. It hadn't rained for very long, but he still felt as saturated as an old floor-cloth. He was sure that if things went on the way they were he would die of exposure.

A cup of hot chocolate! With croissants – a heap of freshly-baked croissants...

He had tried jumping several times, but every time he ended up in exactly the same place, bang in the middle of that bloody meadow. He had also tried, unsuccessfully, to get rid of his Marks.

Eventually he decided that he couldn't just hang around here waiting for someone to come and rescue him. For a start, he was too hungry. The only option seemed to be to try his luck at the holiday centre again. Even if the police had been alerted it still seemed unlikely that they would go to the trouble of stationing men around the place to keep an eye on it – after all, he'd heard one of the plumbers saying that there was nothing worth stealing. And even if he was caught he would be fed, and as soon as he had eaten he could jump back to the meadow.

He set off, wishing he was wearing socks: his feet were cold, and the damp grass wasn't doing anything to help.

Maybe it would be better not to get caught. The way things had been going lately he might discover that his Gift had packed up on him again, leaving him to rot in a cell until Social Services came and took him off to some ghastly orphanage.

A steak! With chips – lots and lots of chips! And a chocolate cake. A Black Forest Gateau would do nicely. There was no chocolate in the R'hinz, which was a pity. Perhaps he could take some cocoa seeds back with him?

Bloody hell, he was hungry!

Xarax must be worried to death. And if he'd managed to get to the ones who had killed Aïn, they were dead meat: even without his venom a haptir was still one of the deadliest creatures in the Nine Worlds.

Perhaps a roast chicken, its skin crisp and golden, with chips and chips and more chips... and mustard. Proper mustard, not that insipid stuff you sometimes got in little packets...

Of course, maybe Xarax was dead too, because otherwise he would surely have found a way to get here by now. Dillik would be distraught.... No, surely he would feel it if Xarax was dead? The link between them was so deep that he thought it would be impossible for the haptir to disappear without him being aware of it.

oo0oo

He was careful not to approach the holiday centre from the lane: instead he went into the bushes and made a great detour around it so as to approach from the other side. He hadn't seen any parked vehicles, and the one or two cars that had sent him scurrying into the bushes on his way here were just innocent private vehicles.

However, when he got close enough to see the main buildings he saw that the shutters were now open and there was movement inside. That meant that they were effectively out of his reach, and so, sadly, was the tinned ravioli, at least for the time being.

He didn't fancy walking into the nearest village, if he could find it, dressed as he was and decorated with white Marks that even the most short-sighted individual could hardly miss. This situation was looking more and more like a dead end. He decided that he would have to wait until nightfall, when presumably whoever was in the centre would go home – after all, this wasn't yet the holiday season.

His mother often made a delicious blanquette de veau. He could almost smell it. It was positively mouth-watering...

Oh, God – he had to think of something else. And if he was going to wait until evening, maybe it would be better to go back to the camp. True, he'd have to climb back up here later on, but in the meantime, if the weather stayed dry, he might at least be able to get some sleep without there being any danger of being discovered.

He jumped.

oo0oo

He still didn't reach the Orientation Table, but at least he had the satisfaction of still being able to jump, even if it was just back to the familiar meadow. There were now a few sunbeams filtering through the clouds, which seemed to be clearing a little, and that made him feel a little bit better, although it didn't make him feel any less ravenous.

He decided to try to get some sleep, so he found a spot under a tree where the ground was fairly dry, wrapped himself up in the purloined blanket and settled down. But sleep refused to come: even though he was really tired, an endless procession of gloomy thoughts whirled through his head, making sleep impossible.

He felt really stupid. Here he was, Emperor of the Nine Worlds, and he couldn't even find himself something to eat, and in his own country, at that.

Then he felt guilty: one of his friends had just died right next to him, and yet all he could think about was food.

And then there was another worry which he had been trying to keep at arm's length but which was now pushing its way to the fore: Xarax must indeed be dead. There was no point in fooling himself any longer: if the haptir had been alive he would have found a way to reach him long before this.

Then there was Ambar, who must be going crazy worrying about him...

oo0oo

He woke up with the sun in his eyes and a splitting headache. He went down to the stream to drink and to try to get rid of the headache by splashing cold water on his face, an operation which was only partially successful, but which at least had the merit of waking him up properly.

He decided to set out straight away. It was only mid-afternoon, but if he got there a bit early he would be able to see if the people at the centre really did go home for the night. In any case he was now determined to get inside the building, even if there were still some people inside: he couldn't go on without eating. And if he was caught, too bad. He'd decide what to do about it when and if it happened.

So he made one more attempt to jump, with the same frustrating result, and then set off on the climb which would bring him back to the plateau.

oo0oo

“Julien!”

It was Dillik's voice! It was faint, some distance away, but it was still clearly his voice. Dillik was there! He started running back down the path he had been climbing.

“I'm here!” he shouted. “Hold on, I'm coming!”

He had no idea how Dillik had come to be involved, but he didn't care: hearing his voice was the best thing that had happened to him in the past two days. And if Dillik was here there had to be a Guide with him. He slowed down a little: it would be stupid to risk a broken leg by tripping while running at full speed down the uneven path.

All the same he was almost bowled over by Wenn Hyaï who had been bounding up the hill to meet him, and a little behind the Guide came a very excited Dillik.

oo0oo

Chapter 45

Remedy

“Tannder,” said Julien, “I need you to help me. Xarax is too weak to wake up. I can't contact him at all, and I'm afraid that he might have used up the last of his strength getting into Dillik's dream. It's essential that I feed him if he's going to have any chance of survival and recovery.”

He had sent for Tannder as soon as he had seen what a desperate condition Xarax was in.

“The Health Masters say that giving him a transfusion of my blood won't work,” he went on. “Apparently there's some sort of process that has to take place, and it's in his mouth. We've tried pouring some of my blood into his mouth using a pipette, but that doesn't work either – he doesn't even try to swallow it. I think the problem is that when he takes my blood normally he also takes in the Yel I've collected just before he bites me, and the Yel doesn't stay in my blood when it's spilt or taken any other way. So he's going to have to bite me for it to work, and the only way we'll be able to make him do that is if we put his jaws against my neck and hope it triggers a reflex. The Health Masters offered to help me, but I'd sooner it was you, because I really don't want anyone else to find out that Xarax isn't poisonous any more.”

“Ah! That explains it... I've had my suspicions since he didn't kill that woman who attacked you at Bakhtar Tower. Now I understand how he managed to neutralise her without killing her.”

“That's right. And I'd just as soon not let Dillik see this, either. So far I've managed to do this when he wasn't around.”

“Sooner or later he's going to have to find out how his friend feeds.”

“Well, he knows that I'm the one who gives Xarax what he needs, of course, but... and it would be better if it were Xarax himself who tells Dillik that he isn't poisonous any longer.”

“And can I ask how that came about?”

“It was a present from the Neh Kyong Tchenn Ril. Xarax didn't like having to hurt me every time I fed him. Of course he didn't ask me what I thought first – I only found out about it afterwards. If he had asked I would have refused to let him go through with it. But I have to admit that I was impressed by his devotion. It's a pretty big sacrifice for him to have made.”

“He must love you very much.”

“It's mutual, you know. Anyway, it'll make things easier for us now: there's no danger of you poisoning yourself if you get a scratch while you're putting his jaws in position.”

“Good. So when are we going to do it?”

“As soon as possible. Right now, if you're ready.”

oo0oo

Dillik refused to leave his friend, and he presented his arguments clearly and forcefully.

“If you think I'm going to be shocked by what you're going to do, you're wrong. Xarax has already shown me how it works, inside my head. It's like I'd already done it with him. And that's how I know he isn't poisonous any longer. He hated having to hurt you so badly.”

“What?!” exclaimed Julien. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew. We don't have any secrets. So I want to stay. Please?”

Julien thought that if Dillik believed Xarax had no secrets that he was keeping from him he was probably fooling himself, but he saw no reason now not to let the boy stay if he wanted to.

“All right,” he said. “You can stay.”

It wasn't easy: Tannder had to manoeuvre Xarax's head into position, which was difficult with the haptir stuck inside his box, and then Julien had to get close enough to offer his jugular vein – the only one, according to the Health Masters, that was suitable for the operation - close enough to the haptir's jaws. When they were finally in position Julien, thinking ironically of how much he had always hated needles, concentrated on drawing in the Yel from the surrounding area, and when he felt that he had drawn in enough of it he told Tannder to let go of Xarax's jaws.

He felt the sharp, familiar pain of the bite, which was now of course but a pale echo of the venom-charged bites that had accompanied the process before Tchenn Ril's intervention. For a few moments of anguish nothing happened, but then the bite became a little harder and he felt the haptir's tongue move, while at the same time he suffered the vaguely nauseous feeling that indicated that the process was under way. This time he hadn't picked up a piece of fruit or anything else that he could drop to tell Xarax when to stop, because this time he intended just to let Xarax go on feeding for as long as possible. And he was unafraid, even at the point at which he lost consciousness.

oo0oo

Before he opened his eyes he felt the reassuring presence of Ambar, who was asleep, snuggled up close to him. He felt fine, perfectly rested and with a clear head. He was also very thirsty, and he needed to pee. He opened his eyes and recognised that he was in his kang in Bakhtar Tower, and to judge from the grey light filtering through the curtains, dawn was at hand.

He wanted to get up, but he found that was impossible: just trying to sit up made his head spin. He felt absolutely fine as long as he didn't try to move, but the slightest movement made him feel sick. Xarax must have taken rather more than his usual ration, he thought.

As he tried once again to lift himself, Ambar woke up.

“Are you awake, Julien?” he asked.

“Yes. Good morning.”

“Are you all right?”

“Yes, but I can't stand up. Can you help me? I need a pee.”

Ambar turned on the bedside lamp and came around the bed to help Julien into the bathroom, where he soon felt the delicious relief of an emptied bladder.

“I'm starving!” he said.

“That's not surprising. You've been asleep for two days. Do you want to eat lying down, or do you feel up to sitting at the table?”

“At the table, I think. Two days, you said?”

“Yes. The Health Masters were going nuts. They reckoned you were almost dead. They really tore into Tannder – you'd have thought he did it on purpose!”

“It was nothing to do with Tannder.”

“I'd guessed that. But we were still proper scared, you know. They stuffed you with Yel and then said to leave you alone and that if we were very lucky you might pull through. There wasn't anything else they could do for you. They were really angry.”

“How's Xarax?”

“We don't know for sure, but he's been communicating with Dillik.”

“I have to see him.”

“He's in the Health Quarters. You can't walk there in your state.”

“Then get me a Guide.”

“What, now?”

“Yes, now, unless you want to carry me there.”

“That won't be necessary,” said a man's voice. “I'll deal with it.”

“Tannder! You're still eavesdropping, I see.”

“Actually it was Karik who told me that you were awake.”

“And where is he?”

“He went to tell Dillik that you're back in the land of the living. Congratulations on making it.”

oo0oo

Dillik didn't look good: he obviously hadn't eaten for some time and he had purple shadows round his eyes, which were themselves reddened by crying and lack of sleep. But he still found the energy to smile at Julien, who collapsed into the chair thoughtfully positioned under him by Ambar as soon as Tannder set him down.

“How is he, Dillik?” asked Julien

“I'm not sure. Sometimes he talks to me, but sometimes I can't feel his mind at all. Sometimes we dream together. Thank you for giving him your strength. I think he'd have died otherwise.”

“Xarax is strong. You'll see – we'll get him well again.”

“Like the boy in the story?”

“Yes, just like the boy who made kites.”

“Julien, I don't want him to die.”

Tears of despair ran from the boy's eyes.

“He won't die,” said Julien. “Can you let me talk to him?”

Dillik moved his hand away from Xarax's claw, and for several minutes Julien tried in vain to establish contact. At that point one of the Health Masters came into the room and offered an update on the haptir's condition.

“The flesh is starting to mend, as are parts of the skeleton, and there is some improvement in the wings, too. Unfortunately the damage is so severe that it seems unlikely that he will ever fly again. But the abdominal wound seems to be healing nicely. The Honourable Xarax really is remarkably resilient. Even so, it's still too early to be able to be sure that he will heal, or even survive.”

“Master,” said Julien, “I'm grateful for the efforts you and your colleagues are making to save my haptir. I'm confident that with your help we will not only save him but get him flying again too. And if I can help by giving him more of my strength...”

“It would be useless right now, My Lord. First he needs to finish assimilating what he has already received – and in any case, if I may say so, I doubt whether Your Lordship could give any more without a lot more recovery time. I must warn you seriously not to try to give more than you already have: you were at the point of death last time.”

“But I'm not dead, and if Xarax needs it...”

“Of course, although next time you really will have to limit yourself.”

“Don't worry. I won't let it go too far again.”

And neither will I, said a voice in his head.

Xarax! You can't imagine how happy I am to hear you!

I won't be able to stay awake for very long. Thank you, my friend – but I almost killed you!

But you didn't. And all that matters now is that you get better.

Dillik is being a great help to me, but I'm worried about him.

Don't be. I'm in charge now and I'll make sure that we take turns staying here beside you.

The contact was broken abruptly, but now for the first time Julien was starting to feel some real hope.

oo0oo