JULIEN

II

Chapter 25

For in the wilderness shall waters break out...

'The Burrow', as they now called the Tandil base, couldn't offer quite the same level of comfort as some of His Lordship's other residencies, but it still offered the boys a place where they could be together and have fun, forgetting for a while the dangers which still threatened them. They had decided to spend the night up on the observation platform under the transparent bubble, where they could treat themselves to a safe adventure in the ultimate tree-house. To make their evening absolutely perfect they built a camp fire and cooked skewered meat on it, which reminded Julien, with a brief twinge of nostalgia, of his summer Scout camps with the Leopard Patrol. Actually being able to have fun with Niil and Ambar was a great improvement on singing camp-fire songs, though, and Dillik finally curled up like a kitten and went to sleep with his head on Julien's lap.

All around them things were flying and crawling through the night. They'd already seen quite a few of them over the past few evenings, and in fact they'd made a contest of it, seeing who could spot an animal that wasn't already on their rapidly-growing list. Dennkar apparently knew all about the local wildlife and was able to tell them all about the animals they had seen. It was amazing how many of them seemed to be equipped with hooks, barbs, stings and other protrusions, most of which were usually painfully deadly. And in this place it seemed that Nietzsche was wrong: what didn't kill you didn't make you stronger – instead it left you seriously injured or maimed and so far more likely to fall a prey to the next predator to come past.

The nastiest thing, Julien thought, wasn't the fact that monstrous beetles or hideous-looking centipedes turned out to be as deadly as they looked. Rather, it was the existence of monstrosities like the swarms of beautiful, multi-hued carnivorous butterflies which swarmed over their prey in a whirlwind of dazzling colours and dissolved them by spraying them with incredibly powerful digestive enzymes, which transformed them over a few ghastly minutes into easily-edible pulp. And then there was that beautiful climbing plant which had flowers and a scent like an orchid but which, if you were stupid enough to try picking it or even merely touching it, would inject you with a paralysing drug and then sink its rootlets through your skin to feast on your flesh.

Of course they would have loved to see a tak, the almost-mythical predator whose silvery hair was used to weave the supple and elegant kamdris which were traditionally worn with a ceremonial hatik, and whose horns were made of the only non-metallic substance which could be used as the sheath for a nagtri. But taks were far too clever to come anywhere near a place like this, full of the only predator able to inspire them with respect.

Instead they had watched birds with barbed wings, capable of beheading any other creature that got too close while still in flight, and a sort of leathery amoeba, as big as a doormat, which would drop onto anything that appeared to be edible.

However, in the last light of the setting sun they also saw a majestic vril bird in flight, its deep green plumage glittering like metal as his song seemed to travel directly from him to them, insignificant humans, mere dots amongst the lush surroundings of the great forest. Never before had they felt such an urge to fly, to soar above the forest and taste the vril's inebriating and total freedom, even though they knew it was impossible for them to do so. All of them were at that moment stricken by the inexpressible beauty that lay hidden within this terrible world, and something in them changed from that moment. They didn't realise it then, but a seed had been planted within them which would grow and fill them with an aching nostalgia for the Great Forest of Tandil.

oo0oo

Julien woke with a start: a lightning bolt had surely struck not far away and the torrential rain was drumming on the membrane of the bubble and the surrounding vegetation, making an infernal racket. Ambar had been snuggled between him and Niil, but now he was awake and staring wide-eyed and scared, and Niil himself was propped up on one elbow – the huge thunderclap had woken him up, too. But in the light of the dying fire they could see that Dillik was still fast asleep with Xarax coiled against his stomach. Julien was sure that the haptir was somehow responsible for Dillik's continuing peaceful sleep. Xarax himself was clearly awake, looking straight at Julien with his gleaming ruby eyes, and so Julien put his hand on the haptir's back.

Do you think we ought to go down? he asked.

The membrane is very strong and I'm sure the tree is protected against lightning. I don't think there is any danger.

Julien's gesture hadn't escaped Niil.

“What does he say?” he asked.

“He says there's no danger.”

“So what are we going to do? Stay put?”

“What do you think, Ambar?” asked Julien.

“Let's stay here.”

Clearly he had got over his initial fright, because he burrowed his way under the blanket he'd been sharing with Julien and grabbed hold of the part of him which he found the most interesting. If they were going to wait where they were until the storm abated he thought they might as well use the time in the most interesting way possible. A series of apocalyptic rolls of thunder failed to prevent him from giving a dazzling demonstration, not of some tedious theory but, rather, of his exceptional skill at causing such incredible sensations that Julien was scarcely even aware of where he was any longer. Of course he knew by now that when Ambar was in this mood resistance was not only futile but a bad idea in the first place. Better by far to lie back and allow him full rein as he demonstrated his superb ability to bring one of his friends to a point of ecstasy. It actually seemed that Ambar enjoyed feeling someone else's member responding to the attentions of his tongue at least as much as he enjoyed being on the receiving end himself. Ambar was a true gourmet as far as sex was concerned, and he was getting better all the time and connecting intimately with what his partner was feeling.

But from Julien's point of view something was different this time. Instead of his usual sensation of a body brutally trying to expel some non-existent fluid, he felt for the first time ever the irresistible escape of what was in fact the very essence of his body. A few drops of transparent fluid felt to him like a gushing flow, and it changed forever the nature of this perfect pleasure.

Ambar's spirit of adventure meant that he had of course experienced the taste of Karik's rather more substantial product, but although the flavour here was certainly weaker he recognised its characteristic taste straight away, and being conscious of the importance of the event to his partner he took a moment to make sure that he tasted every drop and then announced it to the whole world.

“It's happened!” he said. “Julien's 'Glorious Fountain of Life' has flowed!”

As his true friend Niil was first to congratulate him.

“Brilliant!” he said. “We'll have to have a party to celebrate tomorrow!”

“You taste better than Karik, too,” added Ambar, the comment immediately being underscored by a tremendous thunderclap.

oo0oo

Almost as soon as Julien woke up the following morning Niil was clamouring for a chance to sample the famous elixir, and then it was Dillik's turn to insist on a chance to visit the new fountain and to taste its waters. Julien really wasn't looking forward to breakfast, because it was out of the question to keep such an important milestone in a boy's life a secret – indeed, it was the occasion for celebration in every household in the R'hinz. A boy's first ejaculation and a girl's first period were always celebrated with great enthusiasm. His only consolation was that at least nobody suggested telling his parents. Sandeark, the self-appointed Master of the Kitchen of the base, promised to organise a proper feast, provided that a Guide could be found to take him to Ksantir, where he knew a first-rate caterer.

Julien would have much preferred for the event to have passed unnoticed, but he felt that he couldn't really rain on his little team's parade – after all, there weren't a lot of excuses for a party at the moment, and he could remember his father telling him once that you should never deny others the chance of demonstrating that they cared about you.

The one person who seemed to be holding back a little from the general mood of celebration was Master Subadar, and so Julien, who rarely missed that sort of thing, took him off to one side for a private chat.

“You seem worried, Subadar,” he commented. “Would I be right in thinking it's because of what has happened to me?”

“Absolutely not, My Lord!”

“I don't think you've ever lied to me,” said Julien. “It would be a pity to start now, don't you think? What's bothering you?

“Well, My Lord, what it is... the Emperor isn't supposed to have any offspring.”

It took Julien a few seconds to work out what this had to do with him, but eventually it dawned on him.

“Right,” he said. “But I can promise you that I have absolutely no intention of fathering any children at the moment. I haven't begun to think about getting married, even.”

“That's not the problem. The problem is that the Emperor isn't supposed to be able to procreate.”

Julien instinctively clasped his hands over his groin, as one does when one thinks one's genitals are under threat.

“Do you mean that the Emperor hasn't got any...?” he asked. “Did they cut his... you know, off? No, they can't have – I've seen the Sleeping Bodies. They might have been dead, but they had all the bits we're supposed to have!”

“That's not what I meant, My Lord. The Emperor was perfctly formed. He was just sterile.”

“Huh?”

“I mean that his semen doesn't contain the elements necessary to impregnate a woman. That's the only difference – in fact I can even assure you, if you want that sort of detail, that the taste of it remains the same. But the Emperor can never produce a child, and so nobody can claim kinship with him, for either material or political reasons. He can't start a dynasty which would be able to compete – with a massive advantage – with the Noble Families or the Clans of the Nine Worlds. You, on the other hand, have semen that is fertile, or which very soon will be.”

“So what?”

“Sooner or later people are going to start asking questions, probably influential people, and I think it would be better to deal with the issues before someone else raises them.”

“What issues, exactly?”

“Well, some people might start to suggest that you ought to take a body that would make you identical to the Emperor as we all knew him.”

“But... I really don't want to do that! And in any case I can't, because the sleeping bodies are all dead. You know that!”

“Yes, I do know that, but it might not be a good idea to make it known to everyone. It wouldn't be the first time that people start to ask why we have an Emperor in the first place.”

“Believe me, if that's what they really want, I'm quite happy to step back and let them have their Emperor-free R'hinz!”

“I know you're not interested in power. But I also know that what you're suggesting is impossible. You know that, too.”

“All right. But what do you want me to do, then? I can absolutely guarantee that, whatever it is, nobody's removing my balls!”

Subadar laughed. “Nothing so extreme, I promise,” he said. “It really would be a pity if it came to that. However, there is a sure-fire way to make sure that your semen never gets anyone pregnant. It's a simple operation and common enough, both with men who think they have enough children already and, if you'll forgive me mentioning it, among men who would prefer not to father a child with someone else's wife. In both cases we're talking about men who enjoy the pleasures of a shared bed. In other words, if you'll just let us perform this simple operation on you you'll be able to carry on enjoying the pleasures of...”

“Hang on,” interrupted Julien. “An operation? What sort of operation?”

Subadar explained exactly how the local version of a vasectomy worked, assuring Julien that any Health Master would be able to do it quickly and painlessly, and without any danger at all. At least, he did his very best to sound convincing.

“And once you've had it done it can't be reversed?” asked Julien.

“No, My Lord.”

“I'll have to think about it. I assume you're not going to insist on it being done right this minute?”

“Of course not. But it would obviously be a good thing if you could prove – were someone to ask you to do so – that your semen really is sterile.”

“Why would anyone ask me that?”

“Well, you already thought it proper to change your appearance,” Subadar pointed out. “I mean, nobody is going to be crass enough actually to challenge the fact that you are who you claim to be, but there are those who would use devious tricks to test you. That's why we have to be prepared.”

“No problem there,” said Julien. “I'm a Scout.”

“My Lord?”

“Never mind. You're probably right, but I can't see that there's any rush – unless questions have already been asked?”

“Not as far as I know.”

“What do you think, Ugo?”

The big black dog, who was now inseparable from Master Subadar, was pretending to be asleep in a corner of the room, but he opened an eye and offered his opinion.

“I think he's right,” he said. “Now that we've disposed of the threat from outside the old mutterings are likely to start again. There have always been plenty of people who think they'd be happier without an Emperor. Of course it's up to you what you do about it. But it's certainly true that the Emperor shouldn't have children. If your parents want grand-kids they'll have to rely on the little brother or sister your mother is carrying at the moment.”

“Xarax?”

The haptir emerged from beneath a low table and jumped onto his shoulder.

What they are saying is true, he said. If you don't go along with it things will get a lot more complicated.

“More complicated? Said Julien. “I didn't think they were all that simple right now!”

That is because you still don't realise the sort of twisted genius some people have when it comes to poisoning a situation.

“Thanks for the reassurance,” said Julien. “I was afraid for a moment that life was going to get really boring. Nothing interesting ever seems to happen to me...”

oo0oo

Chapter 26

Disturbances

“You can't take me to my trankenn?” queried Niil. “Oh, well, it doesn't matter. I'll wait for Aïn to come back. And you don't need to look like that!”

“No, Niil, you don't understand. I can't take you. I've lost the Gift.”

“What?! That's impossible!”

“Well, it's happened. I wanted to go and visit Tannder a few minutes ago and I found I couldn't,” said Julien, looking profoundly unhappy.

“What does Xarax say about it?” asked Niil.

The haptir was a little distance away, blending into the background and looking as inscrutable as ever.

“He doesn't know what's happening,” said Julien. “He's never seen it happen before.”

“Well, I know it's not me it's happening to, but it isn't really all that disastrous, is it? It's why we have Guides, after all.”

“True, but surely you can see that's not really the issue?”

“All right, I'm not completely dim. I was just trying to cheer you up a bit.”

“That's very kind of you, but it's not working. You'll have to try again.”

“How many people know about it?”

“So far, just you and Xarax.”

“Good. There's no point in scaring everyone. I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation. Let's ask Aïn – he's our resident expert.”

oo0oo

If you were the same species as me, My Lord, said Aïn, I'd tell you this is perfectly natural. It's true that our sexuality is a little more complicated than yours, but we still undergo the equivalent of your puberty, and more intensely, too, because we develop both male and female attributes. We only make a definitive choice as to which we are going to be when – or if - we decide to procreate. Anyway, there's no need to go into that sort of detail, but I can tell you that this part of our life is often quite difficult, not least because it often affects, in unpredictable ways, the exercise of one's Gift.

So how does it disturb the Gift?” asked Julien.

It varies from one individual to another. Some, like you, find that they can't travel at all. Some arrive in a different place from the one they were trying to reach, although fortunately that only happens if they insist on trying to jump without using the Orientation Table. And a very small number find themselves trapped in the Outside, sometimes for a considerable period. Obviously that can be very dangerous. Some do survive that, but often they are so badly affected by the experience that they never again regain the balance necessary to exercise the Gift. Of course they are very young when it happens, and they don't have the experience or the knowledge to deal with it.

Whereas I am a seasoned veteran who has nothing to fear?

I'm sorry, Julien. I'm so used to thinking of you as an adult that... anyway, you're right: even if it happens a little later to your species than to mine, our young are already as developed as you in mental terms. But you have one major advantage: you have Xarax. He's already helped you once when you went back to your own world, and he would certainly be able to help you remain sane again even if you were to get stuck in the Outside. Obviously I must absolutely insist that you don't try travelling without him AT ALL while this problem lasts.

How long do these problems usually last?

For us, anything between three ninths and one and a half cycles. I think Master Subadar could give you a better idea of how long the process might take in your species.

Do you think I'll get the Gift back?

I'm sure you will, but until you do we'll make sure there's a Guide available for you at all times. We'll also help you check your progress on a regular basis – but please don't try experimenting unless there is a Guide with you.

Don't worry, Aïn, I'm not going to try anything unless you're with me.

I didn't mean...

Aïn, not only are you the best there is, but you're also my friend. If anyone can help me, you can.

oo0oo

“So, Master Subadar, how long do you think it'll last?”

“Oh, probably no more than a cycle, My Lord. But who knows...?”

“A whole cycle?!?”

“Probably less. You have to understand that nobody has had this problem before.”

“So what you're saying is that you don't know? And this never happened before?”

“Not so far as I'm aware. You no doubt noticed that the Sleeping Bodies were well past the point of puberty.”

“If you mean that they had hair everywhere, yes, I noticed. So I suppose that means that Yulmir never had this problem.”

“That's correct.”

“Actually, I think I prefer it like this.”

“My Lord?”

“Well, I'm sure nobody is going to want to risk interfering with my gonads before I get the Gift back.”

“It would be a bit reckless,” Subadar agreed.

“And it might not be just my ability to travel that they'd be risking either. It might stop me being able to talk to the Neh-kyongs, or transmitting the Healing Gifts, like you were telling me about. And... don't take this the wrong way, but I'd like to talk to a Health Master. It's not that I don't trust you, I'd just like to consult a specialist. My mother always says that there's always a right person to talk to. You don't have to look like that – I'm really not trying to annoy you. It's just that we're talking about something... well, fundamental and personal here. I mean, I'm sure you wouldn't want anyone waving a knife about near your gonads...”

“To be honest, the issue has never come up. But then your position is unique.”

“And I believe you when you say that if I do have the operation it won't change anything for me or for... well, it won't make any real difference. But you also said that we're going to need to produce new Sleeping Bodies. Well, won't I need... you know, what you think I shouldn't have?”

“To be honest I don't know exactly how that process works, but I do know that it has nothing to do with procreation. The idea is to create a duplicate organism, not a brand new one. As you know, a child is never an exact copy of his parents, but a Sleeping Body is an identical copy of the Emperor's body. I'm sure someone can give you a more detailed explanation later.”

“Subadar, I can feel how uncomfortable this is making you, but... Subi!! Subi – that's what I used to call you, isn't it? Little Subi!”

“My Lord?”

“Just for a moment there I got a sort of flashback, and I saw you – and it was definitely you! You were about Ambar's age, and I was holding your hand.”

Subadar went pale and clutched the back of the chair he was leaning against with both hands, while Julien, lost in the excitement of his discovery, went on describing the scene he had remembered.

“It was in the private library,” he went on. “You know, the one where the klirk to the Narthex is? And you looked sort of scared. Wow, Subi! I liked you a lot – you were my best disciple, and really promising. Do you remember?”

Subadar made a visible effort to pull himself together.

“How could I ever forget?” he said. “It was the very first time that you took me with you. Does this mean that you have recovered all your memories, My Lord?”

“I don't think so – in fact right now that's the only thing I can remember. But it was weird: for a moment I felt as if I really was someone else, and I'm not sure that I like the feeling. But I definitely liked you. Of course, I also like you as you are now.”

“Thank you, My Lord.”

“So I suppose we must have known each other a very long time, then. Do you know how long?”

“Well, if we include the time you were missing, it's about eighty cycles, My Lord.”

Julien gave a whistle.

“You really don't look that old,” he said. “But... if we've known each other that long, how come you're acting so weird around me now? Were you scared of me back then?”

“Certainly not!”

“Well, are you scared of me now, then?”

“No, of course not, My Lord.”

“It's Julien, remember? Please call me Julien. So what is the problem, then?”

“Julien, when's the last time you looked at yourself in a mirror?”

“This morning when I combed my hair. Why, are you still worrying about my hair being too long?

“There's nothing wrong with your hair. In fact, it's perfect. Just like the rest of you.”

“Thank you. So, does that bother you?”

“If it was just that there wouldn't be a problem. But you're not just too handsome, you're also gentle, generous, funny, true, caring, clever... in fact, the word I want is probably 'lovable'.”

“Oh, come on – you're flattering me! And I still can't see why it's a problem.”

“Do I really have to spell it out to you?”

“Please.”

“Very well. You love Ambar, don't you? Yes, I'm sure you do. Well, it would be really easy for me to love you the way you love Ambar.”

“Ah.... that kind of thing happens here, then?”

“Yes, but that's not really the point.”

“Even so. So does that mean that you like... I mean, that you're like Gradik and Tenntchouk?”

“You mean, am I a man who likes other men? No, I'm not – in fact I had two wives, and I only played around with boys until I discovered girls.”

“Then I really can't see what the issue is.”

“The issue is that this kind of thing has got nothing to do with what I might actually want. Since you got back to us I can't help... well, liking you rather too much.”

“And that's wrong, is it?”

“I honestly don't know. But my feelings scare me. Sometimes I wish I was your age again and able to... You have to understand that I haven't had desires like this since I was about sixteen. And now here we are discussing the most intimate parts of your... life. It's really most disturbing.”

“I think I'm starting to understand.”

“And then you went and remembered me as I was when I was 'Little Subi', and just for an instant I think I would have given anything in the world to be that boy again.”

“Is that so bad?”

“I'm the Grand Master of Major Arts! I'”m not supposed to go falling in love with boys at all, and when the boy in question is also the Emperor...”

“Right now I really don't feel very Imperial,” said Julien. “And even if I did, it's not as if this is something you can really control, and it doesn't bother me anyway. I'm glad you're my friend, and if you're a little more than just a friend, I'm happy to take it as a compliment. Just as long as you're not going to jump all over me – I mean, you're not, are you?”

Subadar managed to smile.

“No,” he said. “Even if I wish I could. But I can behave. At least, I hope so.”

“Well, relax, then. You're not the jealous type, I hope?”

“No. Envious, maybe, but your friends have nothing to fear – in fact, I wish them nothing but the best. And I'll be perfectly happy if I can share in your friendship a little.”

“You have my friendship, Subadar – all of it. It's something you can share without taking it away from other people. Just try not to get too doe-eyed at me when we're in company.”

Subadar laughed again.

“Don't worry,” he said. “I won't.”

“And I'll make sure I keep my laï below my knees when you're in the vicinity. One shouldn't tempt the Devil, as they used to say on my world.”

“Fine, but I don't want you getting all prudish, either.”

“I won't. So, are you coming to our little party tonight?”

“Is that an invitation?”

“Of course it is! You're our friend, remember? Oh, and... just one more question: does Ugo know about how you feel?”

“Ugo is my chenn-da. You can't hide anything from your chenn-da.”

oo0oo