The Tennis Player

Chapter 8

Monday followed Sunday as it has a habit of doing, and that meant school. It also meant I was seeing Clark much of the day as he was in almost every class with me. We were both in the pre-college regimen.

I had to keep my eyes from him. His secret was sacred.

Lunch was different. First off, the cafeteria was bedlam with everyone looking out for themselves and trying to make themselves heard by all their tablemates. What the two of us did was very unlikely to capture anyone’s notice. Even being together should be safe. I’d first approached him last Thursday at the table where we were still sitting. Clark had reluctantly agreed with me that the valid excuse of doing a paper together was enough to avoid questions.

This day, we didn’t talk about the paper.

“Did your grandmother come home last night?” I asked. No one was close enough to hear what we said, not with the roar of the crowd drowning everything out.

“No, she comes today while I’m at school. And even that isn’t carved in stone. That’s her itinerary, but most anything can cause it to change. But that’s what I’m expecting.”

“So if I come home with you, I’ll probably meet her?”

“Yeah, but that’s not how we should work this. I need to tell her about the research paper and about the assignment of partners. She’ll fuss and fret, and I’ll tell her I already talked to Mr. Skinner about working alone and he was adamant. He said the papers would all be partnered because we needed to learn how to work with someone else as often college projects work that way and so do eventual jobs out in the world.

“She won’t like it, but it’s better if she stews on it without you there. When the time’s right, I’ll introduce you. But maybe a couple of days from now would work best.”

“I’m supposed to go a couple of days without my Clark fix? I’m addicted now. This won’t be fair.”

“For either of us. But, remember, I had a crush on you for a long time, and then in the past few days it’s come to fruition. This was all new to you. You can’t feel the separation as strongly as I do.

“And remember, I’ve been all by myself forever. Then I got with you, and it’s like my whole life has opened up. The sun’s come out, if I can be trite and unoriginal. I’ll feel your withdrawal much more than you’ll feel mine. You’ve had company all along. You certainly had crushes before, but you got to work through them.”

I wanted to break in with denials, but he kept talking. He seemed to have a lot to say. Maybe that was due to never having had the opportunity before.

“You had all these kids you could crush on, and many of them loved you back. I’ve seen it. I’ve watched. I know all the kids we were in grade school and middle school with probably as well as you do. When you’re not busy talking to them, you can watch. I did and know them all. I’ll give you an example.”

He took the time to eat a couple bites of lunch, then said, “You remember Lisa when she lost her dog?”

“Sure. She was really down for a while because her dog caught distemper and I guess she had to watch it die over time, although the end was quick. But she loved that dog.”

“Okay, you remember. And you know Annette.”

Yeah, I knew Annette. She was the prettiest girl in our grade, and she knew it. She had a very high opinion of herself. And she went out of her way to gather for herself all the attention she could. She also had a mean streak a mile wide. She liked to put down other students, maybe thinking that elevated her in comparison.

I nodded and he continued. “She saw Lisa’s mood and decided she’d be easy pickings, and that she should take advantage of the opportunity this presented.

“I watched her go over to Lisa and pretend to be solicitous, but started asking things like did the dog suffer and how did you know it was suffering, and how long did that go on, and did they bury it or just stick it in their trash-burning barrel? Nasty stuff, and Lisa was crying, and Annette just went on and on.

“I so wanted to do something. But I couldn’t. I was playing my role in Grandmother’s game. But it was awful. No one was doing anything, although the other kids were looking away, not interfering but not watching, either. They didn’t want to get on Annette’s bad side.

“You were out of the room for some reason, but when you came in, you noticed there was a problem. You’re sensitive. I’ve seen that. As soon as you came in, you stopped and looked around. Annette was smart enough to stop talking, but Lisa was softly crying, and she was standing next to Annette.

“You didn’t know what had caused Lisa to be upset, but the smug look Annette was wearing was enough for you. You immediately went to Lisa and put your arm around her and led her to her seat. Then you turned back to where Annette was still standing. You didn’t say a word. You gave her a look, one I could see, and she blushed and went and sat down. Then you crouched down next to Lisa and spoke so softly to her no one could hear, but I saw Lisa stop crying and nod to you several times. You stayed with her till the teacher came in.

“That was you being you, Ronnie. Caring about other kids, doing all you could to make them feel good about themselves, to make peace when needed. I’d seen you do that before, but it was never so apparent as this time. I watched that, then watched you go to your seat like nothing had happened.

“That was when my crush on you changed. That’s when I fell in love with you.”

I opened my mouth, then closed it. I didn’t know what to say. Then I thought, if I’d just said that, what would I want the reaction to be. Not dumb silence, not denial, not what I was showing him, that was for sure. What I’d want, of course, was the person to tell me he loved me, too.

I wasn’t ready to say that.

But I couldn’t leave him hanging, either.

He beat me to the punch. “I know. I don’t expect you to feel the same way. Not yet. It’s too fast. But I do know you like me. And not just for the sex, either. I can see it in your eyes. I see the possibility there, and that’s enough for me now.”

“You’re really special, you know that?” I felt I had to say something here that would take away any sting he might be feeling. “And I am in like with you. Strong like. Like squared. No, I don’t love you yet, but I’m moving in that direction. It can happen. I think it will. But for now, I just don’t know you well enough yet. I think when you love someone, it isn’t for their looks, or because they love you. It’s because of who they are, what their values are, their personality, how they react to things, a whole lot of stuff, and four days with you isn’t enough time. But I can tell you that nothing I’ve seen from you turns me off. Everything I’ve seen turns me on. I just need more time to get to know you better.”

He grinned at me. “We’ll work on that.”

The problem facing us was how. How could we spend the time together to get to know each other better? His grandmother would never let that happen.

I was a pretty good problem solver. I enjoyed the challenge, and I’d been pretty successful in the past. This was much different, however. This wasn’t some trivial thing that, if it didn’t work out, would be of no great loss. And this was much more complex than the usual difficulties a kid has to deal with. This lay in the lap of an intransigent woman who wasn’t just accustomed to getting her own way but one who fought savagely to get it.

I had to meet her. Clark wanted to wait, but I think he wanted to put it off altogether. He didn’t think once I’d met her, or more to the point, she’d met me, that would be the end of it. He knew her well enough to believe that, and he was perceptive and rational. He didn’t give up easily when challenged, either. You don’t win championships by being easily beaten.

So, I felt I had to press the issue with him.

The next day, at lunch, which was the only time we could talk, I told him I had to meet her, and the paper we were doing together was the perfect reason.

He balked. “I haven’t told her about the paper, let alone about teaming up to do it. She’s going to be unhappy about that. You know what? She’ll probably call Mr. Skinner, maybe even the principal.”

“I guess we need to warn Mr. Skinner then. You know what? I think we can tell him what’s what. I think he put us together for a purpose, and so he deserves to know how that’s worked out. I think he’ll be on our side; he’ll see this as a victory, getting you out of your shell, and if we end up together, really together because of that, he won’t find fault with it.”

“Wow! That’s a huge risk.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I know him. I’ve spoken to him outside the class. The reason he teaches is because it gives him the chance to help kids who need it. We need it. Being gay wouldn’t matter to him at all. He won’t divulge that. He’ll just try to find a way so she’ll accept us working together. But there is one thing, one problem.”

He gave me a puzzled look. “What’s that?”

“It’s the way you look at me. Anyone can see you’re deeply, madly into me. I’m not sure that’s fixable.”

Good thing we were in the cafeteria with hundreds of other kids. He couldn’t attack me here.

“Mr. Skinner, we need to talk to you.”

“What, about the paper?”

I was about to say no, but Clark jumped in before I could. “Yeah, about that. And just a bit more. It’s complicated and very private. Can you promise not to tell anyone what we tell you?.”

“No, not before knowing what it is. But if it’s involving the paper, most likely I can give you that promise after hearing what you have to say.”

We were sitting in his classroom after school had ended for the day. He’d smiled when we’d entered. I think the man liked me. I sure liked him.

Clark looked at me. He really didn’t want to do this, but also thought it was necessary if we were going to have a chance to be together, and he really wanted that to happen, too. I looked back, gave him a compassionate look—he could read my looks better than anyone I knew; maybe years of just watching me had made that possible—and then asked him if I could go ahead.

He frowned, turned to the windows but then immediately back again and nodded. Looking very unhappy and maybe a little scared. I could read him, too.

“This is going to take a bit of telling,” I told Mr. Skinner. “It’d be easier if we could all sit down together.”

“Okay. The teachers’ lounge is empty after school. Everyone has left, unless someone’s grading papers in their room. We’ll be good there. Follow me.”

The lounge had some tables and also a few easy chairs set in a conversational grouping. We sat in those.

“This isn’t easy, Mr. Skinner,” I began. “And it’s crucial you don’t pass it on to anyone. It could ruin Clark’s life if you do. But, here it is.”

I told him how Clark and I had found a mutual attraction for each other, and that he had been apart from others at school not because he was antisocial or shy but because his grandmother had insisted on it. The reason for that was complicated and had several causes, but one was that she was afraid he might be gay, and so she was keeping him out of temptation’s reach.

“But as you know, you can’t insulate anyone from their feelings and their sexuality. Clark is gay, and so am I, and it’s one of the reasons we’re so happy you hooked us up.”

He about exploded, and I laughed hard at that. “Okay,” I said when I’d got him calmed down. “Together, not hooked up. We did that on our own. We also started working on the paper and are probably way ahead of everyone else in the class. You did good. And we’re both eternally thankful.

“Now, we’re telling you this because Clark has to tell his grandmother about the research project and that it involves partners. She’ll see red and probably call you. We needed to tell you to expect that call, and we hope you can stand strong against her and not give in on the partnership assignment.”

I looked over at Clark after saying that, and I pleaded with him with my eyes. He nodded again. Unhappily, but it was still a nod.

“There’s one more thing you might help us with, or it may not be possible, even for you.” While saying that, I was grinning inside. Daring me to get with Clark on the assignment by saying I’d never be able to do it, huh? I could do that, too. But I continued speaking.

“See, she won’t want him working with me, with a boy, with anyone, really, but not a boy for sure. So, if you can think of a way so she can’t separate us, that would be wonderful. I don’t think I can figure it out.”

This was a lot for Mr. Skinner to take in all at once, but he was a smart man. He said he’d think about it and at some point need more information about Mrs. Tellison. He did offer a piece of advice however.

“She doesn’t know anything about this project, I assume?”

“No, sir,” Clark said.

“And she’s coming home today?”

“Most likely.”

“Well, I’d suggest you tell her right away about the project. If you wait and wait and then finally tell her, she’ll figure out really quickly that you had a reason to put off telling her. If you’re up front about it, it’ll show you’re not hiding anything from her. I’d say, tell her about the project and that he was assigned a partner, but you wanted to discuss it with her because you thought she might object. Don’t say you’ve begun work already unless she asks. Don’t lie.”

“That sounds like good advice to me, Clark,” I said. That’ll put the ball in her court. You’d better be ready for a bomb blast, Mr. Skinner. Or, she might try to sweet-talk you. But there’s no question she’ll call you. She’s a powerful woman who always gets her way from what Clark tells me.”

“Okay, I’ll be ready. I’ve often found if you meet rancor with soft politeness, it cuts them down a bit. Yelling at someone who’s smiling and being pleasant starts making you look silly pretty fast.”

“Good luck with that,” Clark said, shaking his head. “You have no idea.”

“Did you notice?” I asked Clark

“Notice what?”

“That he didn’t flinch or go pale or move two steps away from us when I told him we were gay. He just didn’t react at all and kept on talking to us. I told you he’d be okay.”

“I was worried.” Clark looked relaxed right then, though. “That’s the first time I told anyone but you. I actually feel glad we told him. It changes my perspective. Maybe I’ve been too worried.”

“Still have to worry about your grandmother, though.”

“I always do.”

“So when can I meet her?” I was pushing Clark a little, but with an objective in mind. I would meet her someday, and I wanted him to get used to the idea that was going to happen. I just hoped talking about it when we were at lunch, as we were right then, wouldn’t give him indigestion.

“After she’s done her yelling at Mr. Skinner, I guess, if I’m still alive then, and she’s accepting that I get to have a partner, a boy partner.” He dropped his eyes. “That may be never.”

“I’m pretty sure I can’t wait that long. Even a week would be stretching it.” I tried to sound positive. “He may be able to convince her this is the best thing for you.”

“She doesn’t care what the best thing for me is. She cares about that only for her and her plans. She’ll do most anything to make her plan a success, and her plan is for me to be under her control all her life, even when I’m an adult, working for her company.”

“Is that something you want: to be Chairman of the Board or CEO of a major corporation?”

“Absolutely not! I want to go to college, play tennis there, find out if I’m good enough to join the pro circuit for a few years, do that and meet one of the totally hunky guys I’ll be matched with, then retire with him to a villa in France or Spain and be a kept boy the rest of my life.”

“Hey, what about me? I thought you loved me! Not some mythical tennis god with a Portuguese or Scandinavian accent.”

He took on a haughty air. “Well, yeah, but when I’m rich, rich guys always have someone on the side. You can be my something on the side. A sidekick with benefits.”

“I don’t want to be anything like that! I want to be the love of your life, just like you’ll be the love of mine.”

“But that doesn’t seem to be happening!”

I felt like screaming. We’d talked about this! He knew it was just a matter of time till we were able to straighten out the grandmother mess. But then I looked at him and I saw him repressing a grin. He was having me on! Trying to get back to me for teasing him. Ha. It had worked.

I could escalate this, but I thought that might backfire. Instead, I said, “Good one. That’s one for you, and if I remember right, it’s two for me. So you still have a free one whenever you want it.”

I paused, then said, “That pro circuit thing doesn’t seem bad, come to think of it. I might like that, being a kept man, eating in top restaurants, seeing the world. If I have to string a few racquets, or maybe play nice with a couple of cute tennis players, tire them out before their next match with you, I think I could live with that.”

“Over my dead body,” he replied, then grinned at me. “Maybe a foursome?”

“You wish!”

I got a text from him that evening. ‘She’s home. I followed Mr. Skinner’s advice. She is not a happy camper!’

I texted him back. ‘So maybe I’ll wait to meet her till this weekend. I’ll just drop by casually and introduce myself. I’ll try to avoid the word boyfriend.’

His return text was mostly swear words. I laughed.

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