I told Tanner over lunch a few days later that we should also do some of the work on our assignment at his house.
“Uh, I like your house. Lots of room.” He looked down at his lunch.
It suddenly occurred to me. I should have realized earlier, but I hadn’t. Tanner had been eating lunch with me long enough now that everyone interested had seen it happening. And since then, I hadn’t been picked on in the halls, not even once! I’d even started venturing out into the halls at the end of each class, testing the waters. And I wasn’t getting wet! I hadn’t looked for a reason, just enjoyed the hassle-free environment. Now, with Tanner acting a little embarrassed—he always seemed the last kid in the school to be embarrassed about anything—I saw a possible reason. Tanner was eating lunch with me at our private table, and I wasn’t being bumped or reviled or even noticed. I was just another kid in the hallways. Was there a connection? I had to think there was.
“So you want to do all the work at my house?”
He lifted his eyes. “We could work in the school library here if you don’t want me there. I know I’m intruding.”
“You’re not intruding! I like you being there.” Oops. I wasn’t sure I should have said that. “And my computer is a lot faster than the ones in the library and doesn’t have any sites blocked on it. I just didn’t want you to feel you had to come to my house all the time. I can share the burden, and you can be comfortable at your own home.”
“I’m comfortable at your house.”
His voice sounded defensively plaintive! Damn. He didn’t need to beg! And this almost sounded like that, and his eyes definitely looked that way. I had to rush to make something clear.
“Hey, I love having you at my house.” Damn, damn again! I was giving him the wrong impression; I had to be! Like I wanted him there so I’d be able to have my evil way with him. I might be thinking of that—okay, subliminally, I probably was; I was trying very hard not to make that a conscious thought—but that road would only lead to my being hurt. I knew that. But in the short time I’d had with him, I now thought it quite possible I could have him as a friend, and I’d do pretty much anything not to screw that up.
I rushed on, trying to make amends for that remark. “I just didn’t want you to do all the coming-over. Wanted to be sure you knew I’d do my part as well. But I’m delighted you like my house, and I’m fine with us working there. Better than fine. But, if we’re going to be working there, why don’t you bring your swimming suit next time? We don’t have to just work on the assignment all the time.”
≈ ≈ ≈
Tanner’s next visit was different. He seemed in a better mood. He hadn’t been in a bad one before, but he hadn’t seemed, well, up, if that describes it. He’d been very blah, mostly. Reticent, if anyone wants a fancier word. But now, he was happy. I didn’t comment on it. I’d seen he could be embarrassed. That was amazing, but I’d seen it so knew it was possible. Asking why he was acting differently, happier, seemed much too personal. So, I didn’t mention it.
I did ask if he’d like me to show him around before we got busy with the studying.
“Sure, I’d like that. To be honest with you, I’ve been looking at the Europe thing on my own and have stuff to share, but we can do that later. Yeah, lead on, MacDuff.” He grinned at me. I thought there was no way he could expect me to catch the reference. But he had me in a quandary. He was smiling and happy and should I challenge that? But the other side of the fence was, could he be challenging me? Testing me? What should I do?
I decided to be very careful. As I said, I wanted to do nothing to lose this growing friendship we had. But I also needed to be me. Dad would always encourage that: be yourself. Don’t ever be ashamed of who you are.
I decided I had to employ delaying tactics. Another way of saying, be sneaky.
“You’re twelve, like me. Do you really spend your spare time reading Shakespeare?” There. That ought to lead us someplace.
The grin never left his face. In fact, it grew broader, and I got the feeling maybe I’d done this right. At least so far. He was still sitting on my bed next to me, and he hadn’t lost his enthusiasm for this discussion.
He had to think before speaking, but not long. “Why would you ask me that?”
“Because you just tried to quote Shakespeare to me!” Oops. I wished I hadn’t been so quick. I should have worded it differently. I was giving too much away. Now the cat was at least partly out of the bag.
“Tried?”
Yep, he’d heard that all right. The cat’s tail was just about all that was still in the bag now. What could I do? Well, obfuscate. That’s what.
And be myself at the same time. I could be me—I could be honest. He’d respond to that, wouldn’t he? And if he didn’t, what did that say about a possible friendship?
“Tried and did your best?” I chuckled. Maybe now he’d be honest. I was forcing the issue and being as innocent as I could. I wanted to know if he was testing me or just being his age. People our age didn’t really know Shakespeare, did they?
He tried glowering but couldn’t hold it for more than a second. That second was enough to scare me, but the giggle that followed abated my concerns. “I wanted to know if those Shakespeare plays in your bookcase were there for show or had actually been read.”
I tried glowering but wasn’t any better at it than he’d been. And I loved his giggle. But I still wasn’t sure why’d he’d tried that quote on me. I did feel I could ask now, though. He’d cut the building tension.
“So that means you’ve read them, too? Even if you don’t remember them exactly?” I laughed again, trying to show I was teasing and that there was no real rebuke in it at all.
Tanner’s smile grew wider. “I can’t believe this. I knew there was some reason I liked you! You’re smart, like to read, and are subtle and careful. I never thought I’d find anyone like that who’s my age.”
He was keeping the quote business as unfinished business, which was fine, because what he’d just implied was more important now, and I needed to get to the bottom of it.
“You mean ‘our age’, don’t you?”
He shook his head. “You probably thought I was a freak of nature, huh, the largest 12-year-old you’d ever seen? No, I’m 14. Which is why I’m bigger. Well, partly why. My dad was an offensive tackle in the NFL. Huge man. He was bigger than I am now when he was 13. But with genes like that and probably being almost two years older than you, I come by my size honestly.”
“But you’re smart!” I said. “Why are you older?”
“I skipped almost two years of school. My dad was sorta famous, and he was asked to take part in a group that was going to Africa to help a group of people in several villages build fresh-water and advanced-sanitation facilities. It was a large group of people and included doctors and scientists and builders and teachers. It also had mercenaries, because there was some political unrest in the area, enough to merit protection. Dad was asked because that meant more press coverage. He was a name that people knew, and there was interest about what he was doing. If people read about the project, it could result in people wanting to contribute money, too.
“Well, he thought it would be good for me to see what it was like over there and maybe I could help some with the teens, and missing some school at this age wouldn‘t be a problem for me to make up. So, I went with him. It was a fantastic time. But then we came back, and I was behind my age group.
“We talked it over and decided I should enroll in the seventh grade. There were several factors in that, and it’s all boring, but that’s why I’m in seventh with you.”
I was starting to respond when he raised his hand to stop me. “I want to say something else. The guys that want to be my friends and hang with me aren’t the type I want to hang with. They aren’t especially smart, and they don’t care about the things I care about. Most everything is a joke or competition with them. They’re way into girls, and I’m not ready for that yet. I’m so lucky Mr. Montgomery put me with you. You’re as smart or smarter than I am, and so far we’ve gotten along great. I like you and hope we can become really good friends.”
I didn’t know what to say. He liked me as much as I liked him! And I didn’t have to wonder why he seemed more mature than the other kids. He was a little older, but, more than that, he’d lived a far more interesting life so far.
But I did have to say something, not just look at him in awe. “Well, that explains it, then.”
“Explains what?”
“Why you had time to read Shakespeare. And why, with all the distractions you must have had, you’d screw up the quote.”
He grinned again, and then it turned into a laugh. “We took a lot of books with us so I’d not stop my education completely. Shakespeare became one of my favorites, which might seem strange for a kid my age, but I love his plays. But, for the other thing.” He laughed again. “First, I’m amazed you caught me, and second, no, I screwed up the quote on purpose. I wanted to see if you’d correct me, if you knew I’d screwed up, and if you did, how you’d go about correcting me. Some kids would have been so proud of their knowledge and so happy to set me straight that they’d be crowing louder than their namesakes. I didn’t think you’d be one of those, but I didn’t think you’d be as adroit in talking about it as you were. We’re going to be great friends, you and I, Trip. You’re great!”
His grin was infectious. Maybe too infectious. And he stated clearly he wanted to be friends. That feeling I’d mentioned earlier was back, and it was stronger than ever. Part of it was just that we were getting along so well, but the biggest part was we were together—and alone—and I was well aware of our size difference and that I’d be unable to stop him if he decided to mess with me. I knew he wouldn’t do that, but that feeling of vulnerability was there and a turn-on.
I was certain now he’d never do anything like what I was imagining, but also turned on by knowing the possibility was there.
My body was reacting and was past the point of my stopping it. I jumped off the bed. “Come on,” I said. “I’ll show you around.”
I walked out of the room quickly and adjusted myself while out of his sight. Well, I assumed out of his sight. When I was done and checked back to make sure he was following me, I saw that he was. And he was still grinning. I suspected he’d seen what I’d done and had an idea why I’d needed to.