The next day, Rory took Cary to see some of the attractions in Las Vegas. They rode the zipline over the Strip, saw some of the Burning Man installation art pieces, the fire mantis at the container park, exotic animals at the Mirage, the circus acts at Circus Circus, the Bellagio fountains, the Caesar’s Palace Garden of the Gods, the Fremont Street Experience. They were going to take a trip to two viewing areas of the Grand Canyon but learned it would take too long, and why spend that much time in the car when they had such a long trip in front of them? They had another dinner in Las Vegas, took in another show, and were ready for bed.
They had breakfast in the morning and headed out. Morris was happy to be with them again. Rather than put him in a kennel, Rory had hired a professional dog walker to accompany him during the day while they’d been seeing the sights.
They drove northeast from Vegas and were soon in Utah. Cary was amazed at the rock formations they passed. They stayed on I-15 through Provo and into Salt Lake City. They saw and swam in the Great Salt Lake, then visited some of the Mormon sites and heard a Bach fugue played on the organ in the Tabernacle.
They continued north on I-15 and visited Yellowstone National Park where they saw bears begging to be fed, moose and buffalo feeding far from the roadway on the tall prairie grass. They saw the geysers and boiling mud and fantastical landscapes.
“Where’s next? Cary asked when they were leaving the park. Rory laughed. “You sound as tired of driving and just looking at things as I am. How about taking a couple of days off?”
Cary yawned, then glanced at Rory. “If you mean rest and relaxation, I’m all for
it. But where?”
“Well, as we’re heading east, and we’re in Wyoming, I have a thought. We’re in no hurry. We’ll be in Wyoming for a bit. And Wyoming is cowboy country. I was thinking we could spend a couple days at a dude ranch. You ever been on a horse?”
“No!” Cary shuddered, visualizing it.
“Huh! I thought maybe filming . . . Well, time for us both to learn to ride. I’ve never been on one, either. So, next week at this time, we won’t be able to say that any longer.”
Rory was driving, Cary navigating, Morris sleeping, so it was up to Cary to use his phone to get onto the internet and find a dude ranch somewhere east of them. They were on US 14, approaching Cody.
“Got one,” Cary enthused. “Hill Country Ranch. Sounds good. They even have a website. Looks okay.”
“Call them, ask questions, one of which should be if they have room for us today, others being what sort of facilities they have and whether a dog is welcome in our room. I’ll leave it to your judgment whether it’s a good place for us.”
“My judgment! No one ever leaves choices to me. What if I screw up?”
“This is exactly what you and I have been talking about. Coming off the leash your dad has you on. Being able to voice an opinion when a film or TV director tells you what he wants you to do. You want to become a man of substance. I wanted that, too, at 15. This is a good way to begin.”
“But . . .”
“Yeah, scary, isn’t it? Overcoming that fear is part of what this trip is all about. Not waiting for maturity to slap you across the face unexpectedly but going after it intentionally, purposefully.
“Go ahead. Make the call. You can’t fuck up. If we don’t like the place, we’ll simply leave. We’re free men.”
He grinned at Cary. Cary was used to his dad or directors frowning at him, telling him what to do, grunting when he did it. He wasn’t left to doing things on his own, instruction-less. This did feel scary. But good, too. Most of that was because he knew Rory both trusted him and believed in him and wouldn’t criticize him if the decision he made didn’t pan out.
« »
The Hill Country Ranch had eight cabins, and three of them were empty. The owners were happy to welcome them. “You’re in Bluebird, the cabin closest to the dining hall. A boy your age, Cary, needs his grub, and this way you can be first in line each night.”
She laughed, saying that. They were to call her Ma, and she looked the part. In her fifties, Rory assumed, short and stout and with a perpetual smile and an engaging manner. She said she managed the food and housekeeping and evening entertainment activities, and her husband, Clyde, took care of the outdoor stuff. “He won’t let me call him Pa,” she said. “Says it’s not dignified. Hah. He doesn’t have a dignified bone in his body. But if you want a marriage to work, and ours has for 32 years, you don’t sweat the small stuff, so I just call him Clyde. You should, too. If you try Mr. Sturgel on him, he’ll probably ignore you.”
There were two beds in their cabin. It was very homey. The days were warm in the Wyoming summertime, the nights quite chilly.
Clyde took them under his wing with the horses. “We get a lot of greenhorns. Our favorite kind of people. It’s the ones who think they know how to ride but don’t that give us problems. I like the ones like you two best. You’ll listen, and you’ll be starting off right, and you’ll be comfortable in the saddle within a day.”
They both rode that afternoon after being told they’d be a mite sore the next day, but not to let that stop them. “Ride agin tomorrow and the soreness’ll pass; if’n you need an ibuprofen, we got that, too.”
Dinner was in a large communal dining room, or hall as Ma called it. It was buffet style. “We don’t have to hire so much staff serving this way, and today’s kids don’t want to wait tables anyway. So, serve yourselves. Drinks at the bar for the hard stuff. All you can eat here. We’ll probably lose money with you, Cary.” She had a loud, cackling laugh, and Cary could only grin at her.
There were tables for four but even larger ones for larger parties. “We recommend you join up with other people; it’ll be more fun for you that way,” Ma said. “We have a party of three, the Connors. Over there to your left. Nice folks from Illinois. They have a boy about your age, Cary. Why don’t you two join them? Folks out West are friendly. And here you are, come to think of it, out West!” She grinned at her witticism and turned to help some other people.
Rory looked at Cary, wanting him to make the decision. Cary was still shy with strangers. He’d rather have eaten with just Rory. Rory knew that and raised his eyebrows, trying to look encouraging. So Cary nodded.
They took their loaded trays to where the Connors were seated. It was a man and woman appearing to be in their early forties and a boy who did appear to be about fifteen. The three of them had just sat down and hadn’t begun eating yet; they were still putting their plates on the table from their trays.
“Ma twisted our arm and asked us to join you. Said it would be unneighborly not to do so,” Rory said with a grin on his face. “Do you mind? I’m Rory, and this is Cary.”
The man answered. “Please. Join us! I’m Cal and my wife is Jocelyn. And this is David. Happy to have you. I should say, though, before you sit down, we as a family say grace before we eat. I know a lot of people skip that these days, but we don’t. But I don’t want to offend you when we say it.”
Rory put his tray down and sat, and seeing him do so, Cary did the same. Rory said, “We’d be happy to bow our heads along with you.”
Cal smiled broadly, and when Rory and Cary’s dishes were in front of them and their trays set aside, they bowed their heads and took the hand of the person on both sides of them.
Cal looked at David. “Your turn, isn’t it?”
David shook his head slightly and looked at the table, not making a sound. “I’ll do it, then,” Cal said, then added, “David is a little shy.”
Cal intoned a short grace, and everyone let go of the hands they were holding. Cary was next to Rory at right angles to David, who was at one end of the table. He was surprised by how sweaty David’s hand had been.
The adults chatted garrulously, and the two boys remained silent. Cary felt David staring at him, but when he’d turn to look at him, David would quickly avert his eyes. Cary thought about this, wondering about the sweaty hands and the nervous staring.
When David’s dad tried to bring him into the conversation, David managed to avoid his attempts, which his dad again explained as shyness. Cary began to wonder. Was it shyness? Or repression?
David ended up eating very little. Cary had no problem emptying his own plate. He ate faster than the adults as they were more interested in getting to know each other than eating. Cary was interested in getting to know David but saw that wasn’t going to happen in the group setting. But how could he get him away from the adults?
Cary pushed his chair back and said to no one in particular, “I’m getting dessert. David, you want to come with me?”
Up to David now. And the boy gave him a quick smile and pushed his chair back as well.
They walked to the table that held the desserts. Cary was surprised when David spoke. He’d thought if there was to be conversation, he’d have to start it. He’d been wrong.
“You’re Cary Reynolds, aren’t you?” David’s voice was soft but excited. His eyes were bright, too. He’d appeared almost sullen before; now he looked much different, more alive, and thus much more interesting. He was the same size and build as Cary and just as slender. He had short, black hair and a pleasant face with a snub nose and pale, unblemished skin, a pointed chin and close-set ears. He was handsome rather than cute, and Cary could see how he’d look as an adult because his dad had similar features.
Cary nodded. “Most people don’t recognize me.”
“I’m, well, a big fan, I guess. I’ve seen everything you’ve been in. I looked you up on the internet, and Wikipedia has all your work listed, so I’ve been able to find it. I, well, I shouldn’t say this, but I’ve had this humongous crush on you. Now I’m eating dinner with you and I can hardly believe it.”
“Those were just roles I was playing. I’m nothing special in real life.”
“Of course you are. You’re incredibly cute. Uh, I think I’m gay. Can’t be sure because I’ve never done anything with anyone, and my parents would probably have me castrated. They’re all about religion. A gay son would not be welcome in their lives. But I’ll bet every gay teen boy in the world has a crush on you. You’re gorgeous.”
Cary laughed. “It’s nice to be liked, but your crush is on a character that is being created, made up. It isn’t on me. I’m not those guys. They’re adventurous or physical or dead smart and can do things I can’t possibly do. I’m actually shy in real life but am trying to get better. Trying to be more like my friend Rory. He was like me when he was my age. He’s trying to teach me to grow out of my shyness, my timidity.”
“I think you’re special, no matter how much you deny it. I wonder if we could spend some time together? I’m not sure my parents would approve, though.”
“Actually, I’d like that. I’m almost never alone with another guy my age. It would be fun to do that. Do you ride? I just learned how, and maybe we could go on a ride together? How could your parents say no to that?”
“Yeah, I do ride. I have my own horse back home, which is why my parents wanted to come to this ranch. It was so they could learn to ride.”
“Well, that sounds good. They can be learning here and we could go off together. We just have to find a way to have Rory not join us. He’ll come up with something. He’s really smart.”
“And he wouldn’t object to you going off alone with me?”
“He’ll be clapping his hands. He wants me to do things like that. Says that’s what I need to build confidence.”
“This is great! Okay, I’ll prepare them. We can eat breakfast together, just us tomorrow morning, and make a plan. I’m really excited. Spending time alone with Cary Reynolds. This is unbelievable!”
The two boys picked up dessert, two apiece, and went back to the table. Rory gave Cary a glance, and Cary winked at him. Rory gave him a large grin, then continued listening to David’s mother talk about their church.
In the morning, David came to breakfast with his parents. Cary was eating by himself, and David told his dad he’d go eat with him. “We’ll come, too,” his dad said, and David said, “Please, no. I want to get to know him better, and that won’t happen unless we’re alone. He’s this amazing movie star, and he’s shy and humble. I’ve seen everything he’s been in. Can I do this?”
His dad smiled at his excitement. “Sure, David, go ahead.”
The two boys put their heads together and came up with a plan to spend the day together. “We’ve been here for a week already,” David said, “and Ma really likes me. I’ll get it set up with her. We can ride off together. Meet me in the stables in an hour and a half.”
Cary said that was good and that he’d spoken to Rory last night and that he had his part all figured out.
Rory came in for breakfast and ate with David’s parents again. He told them he was a writer and had the outlines of a new story in his head, and he was going to spend the day in his room writing. David’s mother asked what it was going to be about, and he said his being on a horse with Cary yesterday had inspired him. He was going to write about a teen boy nurturing a foal whose mother had rejected it. If the story panned out, perhaps Cary could play the part of the boy.
When Cary got to the stables, he discovered why David had specified the time to meet up that he had. Both David’s parents had a riding lesson then.
“I’ve had Ma pack us a lunch. Clyde fixed us up with a blanket for the picnic and some other stuff. He told me a great place to picnic. We’ll go there.”
Cary’s horse that he’d ridden the day before was already saddled up for him. The two boys rode out together after waving goodbye to David’s parents.
They were walking their horses as they rode next to each other. Cary felt a slight nervousness. He was rarely on his own with another boy like this. Some of his natural shyness was there but there was an energy he wasn’t used to as well.
“Where are we going?” he asked.
“Clyde told me about a private place that would be great for a picnic. He says it’s pretty and we’ll like it there. Then he winked at me.”
“Why did he do that?”
“Well, I guess it’s best if I tell you. Clyde knows I’m gay. He took me under his wing when I was here before. We were here only one time—a couple of years ago. At the time I was really unhappy. Just realized that yes, I was certainly gay, and I knew I couldn’t tell my parents. I had no opportunity to be with someone; I was home-schooled so my parents could indoctrinate me with religion. So I was lonely, gay, wanting to talk to someone and unable to. I was sort of a mess, really. Clyde could see my unhappiness, and while he’s this guy that doesn’t say much, he did to me. He somehow managed to get me to talk back. He’s clever that way. We talked, and I ended up doing most of it and managed to cry on his shoulder. Not really crying but sort of, saying more than I ever had before because he was a good listener.
“It started out with me just being unhappy and Clyde wanting to know why. In the end, he’d figured it out because he told me he and Ma had a gay son they both loved to death, that it wasn’t true that all Westerners had ugly feelings for gays, and that he knew what a gay teen was going through when he wasn’t out. He told me I looked exactly like that, and if I needed to come out to someone, he was very close-mouthed, and I could feel safe talking to him. I could see in his eyes how sincere he was, and, so, I did. And my relief was tremendous. I think he’s the reason I’m sane.”
Cary looked at him, then said, trying not to sound sarcastic “That’s fine and great and all, but I asked about the wink.”
David blushed. “Okay, okay, I think it meant I might be able to do one of the things I’ve never been able to do before. With you.”
“Why would Clyde think that?”
“I told you. He can recognize a gay kid who’s lonely and hurting. I think he saw that in you.”
Cary was silent after that, and David could see Cary had suddenly become either scared or worried. “Hey, don’t be like that! We can just have a picnic. I don’t know if you’re gay or not. If you are, I can’t tell anyone. If I did, my parents would find out about me, and I can’t let them do that for a few more years, not till I’m in college. That’s when I’ll tell them. And if you’re not gay, we can just have the picnic and I’m certainly not going to try to do something you don’t want to do. I’m not that way.”
He stopped talking then and they rode on. Cary was checking landmarks. He wanted to know the way back if he had to go back alone. The worry and fear he’d felt before was still there, as was that energy he’d not been able to label. Now, he could. It was sexual energy. The boy he was with was in the same position he was: alone with a boy never having done anything with anyone, a boy desperately wishing he could. Cary was exactly the same. And this certainly would be his opportunity, should he dare to take advantage of it.
They rode to where the land began a slight downward tilt. In the distance they could see a grove of trees. They rode toward it and, reaching the edge, saw the trees were surrounding a small lake. David led the way and they reached a grassy area where there was room to spread their picnic blanket on the shore.
The day was warm with a high sun and few clouds. David hobbled the horses loosely and both wandered to the lake to drink.
“The lake looks very inviting,” David said, and, to Cary’s shock, winked at him.
“Are you, uh, trying to seduce me?” Cary asked, and then laughed. A nervous laugh, but a laugh nevertheless. He realized, though, that he had nothing to be scared of. If he wanted things to happen, they could. If not, they wouldn’t. And he did find David charming and fun. The perfect companion for a first time, he couldn’t help thinking.
“No seduction. First, I wouldn’t know how; second, I’d be too embarrassed; and third, I’m not going swimming if you aren’t. But that water looks awfully inviting, and I’m hot and sweaty.” This time, finishing, David wiggled his eyebrows at Cary.
Cary walked to the lake and squatted down to feel the water. “Hey, it’s warm!”
“Clyde told me it’s fed from underground and is part of the same system that heats the water in Yellowstone. He says it’s perfectly clear and always warm. Perfect for swimming.”
“It does look nice. But I don’t have a bathing suit.”
“Why would you need one? No one but us for miles around, and you have the same equipment I do. Of course, if you’re not gay, then you probably aren’t as eager to check out mine as I am to see yours.” This time he couldn’t hold back his grin.
“But we don’t even have towels!” Cary’s voice sounded either disappointed or defensive; David wasn’t sure which.
“You can dither,” David said, making up his mind. “Me, I’m going swimming. Even if you aren’t. No matter what I just said.” And he began undressing.
Cary watched, and the more skin he saw, the more excited he was getting. He’d never seen a naked, live, gay boy other than on the internet. This was real. And this was happening.
David’s shirt was off. He toed off his sneakers, took a quick glance at Cary to be sure he was still watching, and then unbuckled his belt and shrugged out of his jeans.
He was wearing boxer briefs, and the pouch was having difficulty constraining him. Seeing that, Cary felt his own tumescence increasing.
David smiled and dropped his underwear. He stood fully exposed, his erection open to Cary’s gaze. “At least, if this is all there’ll be, I can know I was seen by the cutest boy in the world, and I was turning him on.” He was blushing and fidgeting, but not covering himself at all.
Cary stared into David’s eyes, saw his longing, felt the same thing himself, and began undressing. He didn’t hesitate, and when naked, blushed as hard as David was. “I’m gay, too,” he said, his voice raspy with hormones. “But you can’t tell anyone.”
David blushed harder, nodded, then turned and ran for the lake. He jumped in, went under, then shot up as far as he could leap. “Yahoo!” he yelled.
The boys played in the water for some time, both eager for what they knew was coming next, but also happy to wait and let the tension build, letting their physical exertions burn off some of the excitement they were feeling. While they were dunking each other, their bodies would touch. They did a lot of that.
Eventually, they hugged, and David leaned in and kissed Cary. It was short and tentative, and then David pulled back to see what Cary’s eyes were showing. They were showing need, and David kissed him again, this time not briefly.
When they got out, David went to his horse, opened one of the saddle bags and took out two large towels. He handed one to Cary and they both dried themselves. “You didn’t say you had towels when I said we didn’t.”
“I didn’t want to seem to be pushing you to swim. I wanted it to be your choice.”
Cary smiled at that. It seemed typical of David. He looked at him and asked, “Lunch first, or making out?”
“Are you kidding?” David asked. He grabbed him. Hugging and rubbing against each other, they worked their way to the spread blanket and lay down.
There was nothing tentative about their actions. They were new to this, but they were also fifteen; they knew what they wanted and went after it. First one was on top, then the other, lips locked, tongues dancing together. Their hips were moving back and forth, no matter who was on top, the friction constant.
“I’m close,” David breathed, gasping.
“Me too,” Cary panted. “Keep going.”
David was temporarily on top and didn’t need the advice. He was pumping his hips, sliding against Cary, both of them slick with sweat.
Very quickly, David whimpered, and the slipperiness tripled. Cary was right behind him, and they made a chorus of moans and groans, gasps and grunts, and when they were finished, they lay still, David not even having the energy left to roll off Cary and Cary not minding at all.
Eventually, they made it back to the lake to clean up.
“Do we need to go back now?” Cary asked.
“I told Clyde we might be late. That I hoped we’d be late. That was when he winked at me. We still have lunch to eat, and then there’s something else I want to do.”
“What’s that?”
David licked his lips.
They rode back as slowly as they’d ridden to the lake. They were silent at first. As they were nearing the ranch buildings, Cary said, “You could ruin me, you know. Make a lot of money.”
“Not without ruining myself, and even if that wasn’t so, I’d never do that. I just had sex with Cary Reynolds. I’m keeping that as my own special secret, my favorite secret, for the rest of my life. This was my best day ever. I’ll never forget this.”
“My best, too,” Cary said. The two smiled at each other, and their smiles
remained fixed the rest of the way back.