There were three principal teen actors involved in the film, but only Cary was at the first table read. Cary played the younger Rory, ages eight to fourteen. Donald Vincent Hughes played Rory starting at fifteen and when he left home and into his early twenties.
DeShawn Waldren played the role of Deion Carter, a friend of Rory’s. The character he was portraying in real life was Bobby Tate. Donald Vincent Hughes was the oldest teen actor at 19. All three boys had serious dramatic roles.
Rory was interested in hearing them read, although that day’s script run-through was to be void of the emotions that the actors would need to depict later. Donald was at the studio, but not at the morning’s table read. He’d been invited to attend but had said if he wasn’t needed, he’d rather wait till he was. He said he’d be in his trailer and if they wanted him, to give him a call.
DeShawn wasn’t at the studio that day. He was working in a sitcom being taped at another studio and was needed on that set that day. As he wasn’t involved in a table read for Leaving Home until later in the week, that didn’t present a problem.
Rory was introduced along with other members of Nolan’s staff who were at the reading. He wasn’t happy with the way he was presented.
Nolan stood up to make that introduction. “Group, this is Rory Spencer. He wrote the book the film is based on, he was the principal author of the wonderful script you’ll be reading today, and he’ll be my consultant and official assistant director once we start shooting. If any of you haven’t read the book, you should because this film will stay as true to the book as any film ever does. I think it fitting and proper at this point to officially welcome Rory to Hollywood with a large hand.”
And that was what happened. Everyone clapped their hands, and George led the way by getting to his feet to make it standing applause.
Rory, who hated being the center of attention and in the limelight, had to accept the praise with as much grace as possible, which wasn’t much. At least he didn’t scowl.
And then, when they’d begun the reading, for the first time, Rory heard the words he’d written being brought to life.
The book and script started with a description of Ripley’s Creek and some of the townspeople, but that wasn’t part of the day’s read-through. Only the speaking parts that the actors at the table would bring to life were the focus of the reading.
The principal speakers would be George, playing Rory’s dad, Tina Perry playing his mother, and Cary, playing Rory.
The book and the script showed how Rory began feeling different from his friends, how he began to notice how his interests and sensibilities strayed from theirs. He also began to feel a separation from his father and his attempts to build a closer relationship with his mother, who would remain a somewhat distant character through the movie. That occurred because his father grew more and more critical of him and made sure Rory was aware of his displeasure, and because his mother was unable to protect him.
Cary and George had the most to do at the morning’s reading. Tina had a smaller part, a speaking part when Rory would come to her after scraps with his dad. Cary’s involvement with George was mostly tacit; he never spoke back to the man, always hearing his rebukes in silence. Over time, Rory would slowly become more reserved, more silent in all social situations. This became apparent as the years passed and he grew into a teenager. He’d been a sociable, talkative kid earlier in life. By eight it was changing. He was a reserved, repressed young teen at thirteen, and only became more so as he grew to fourteen.
Cary had the sort of facial structure and body type that the makeup and costuming people could easily doctor to make him look eight, his age when the story began. They would gradually age him to fourteen and nearly fifteen, after which his part would be taken over by Don, whose looks were similar enough to Cary’s to make the transition believable. To make this easier to follow, a half-year’s gap had been written in Rory’s appearance on film; the change in his looks would be normal, expected and practically seamless.
It took till lunch to get through the script where Rory grew from eight to ten. At ten, Rory was becoming more sure he was gay. And by then he was sure that his dad would never accept his son being gay; he was convinced that the town wouldn’t accept him, either. Already withdrawn, he became increasingly moody.
Cary read through his speaking parts, and after saying his line, would invariably look up at Rory. Rory could see lots of emotions in his eyes. He tried to keep his own unreadable. This was something he’d practiced his entire life; it was simple for him now.
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Rory made it from Mulholland Drive to his meeting with Nolan on time. It always amazed him how many bigwigs in Hollywood—directors, producers, stars—would be late for any and everything. He thought it was an affectation, something to show they were special; the world could damn well wait for them! Rory found it amusing and thought it marked significant insecurities.
Nolan was on time, too. “I’ve gotten used to you being on time. It’s a nice departure from the norm here. Also shows some respect.”
Rory grinned. “Thanks. What’d you want me for?”
“Right to the point. Good. I have a lunch in an hour with a producer about another film. If I get the offer, and I think it’s a lock, I want you to be with me on the film. Our work together on Leaving Home was the best collaboration I’ve ever had. You see things I miss. You have great sensitivity to characters’ psychology. And with that, you provide me with a sense of security. I just feel better on the set with you there. You keep me centered and grounded. So, I wanted to tell you to keep your time available for this. Don’t go taking on some other project.”
“When would I be needed if this happens?”
Nolan shook his head. “It’s a guess at this point. An awful lot has to be finalized and then planned. I’d want you here for some of that. Script and storyboard development for sure. I’d guess I’d want you available, when? Probably in two or three months? But are you interested? Tell me you’d like to do this? Please.”
Rory smiled at him. “I really enjoyed working with you, Nolan, and I liked the actual work itself. Nothing like anything I’d done before. So, yeah, I’m interested. Look, I’m at loose ends right now, but keep in touch as the schedule becomes more certain. Call me at least once a month so I’ll know you haven’t forgotten about me.”
“What are you going to be doing? Any ideas?”
“Harper says I should go back to Ripley’s Creek just to see the place, maybe resolve anything I left unsettled. I don’t know. Maybe I will. I have mixed feelings about it.”
“You could write another book. Leaving Home is just crying for a sequel, and our experiences making the film would be a perfect background for it. You’d pull some great stories from that.”
“I’ve thought about it. I even made some notes. But I’m not ready for that yet. Someday, probably. Not yet. Like a good cup of tea, it has to steep in my mind first.”
Nolan checked his watch, then stood up, so Rory did, too. They shook hands, and then Nolan stepped forward and hugged Rory. “So great you’re interested in doing another film with me. I’ll count on you, then. You’ve made me really happy, Rory.”
Rory said, “You, me, too. Have a good lunch!”
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Morris had attended the meeting with Nolan, and Rory took him back to the park where he’d played frisbee with Cary so he could run around a bit. After that, he decided to have lunch at Louis’ as it was so convenient.
He walked onto the patio and somehow, John was right at his table before he sat down. “Cary coming?”
Rory laughed. “You’ve got it bad, kid.”
“I know, but he’s lovely. Shy, quiet, humble. The kids at school, the gay ones, none of them are like that.”
“I’ll bet someone is, and because of that you haven’t noticed him. Anyway, you’ll find someone. It happens. Now, more importantly, is there anything edible here today?”
While eating lunch, he remembered what Nolan had said, that there were some awfully good memories from their work on the film. A lot of those involved Cary. He couldn’t help but remember.
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The film was to be shot on the vast studio lot. A replica Ripley’s Creek would be built on the set as opposed to rather trying to film anything other than background shots on location. Much cheaper this way—and more convenient, too.
The actors had trailers for their own comfort and privacy when not on call. The three boys, Cary, Donald and DeShawn, were sharing one. The thinking was that boys like company and would enjoy being together when not on camera.
On the third day of table reading, DeShawn still wasn’t at the studio. He’d be needed the following day and with a phone call, he assured Nolan that he would be there. Donald wouldn’t be needed till later, but he was already on the studio lot.
The table reading group was taking a break. Nolan and Rory were in the canteen with the other adults. Cary had chosen to return to the trailer. He felt out of place anywhere else on the set. There was no one anywhere near his age around.
Nolan and Rory had their own table in the vast building. Rory glanced around the room once he was seated, seeing how many celebrities he could identify. He smiled when he realized how out of touch with modern culture he was. He only recognized two actors and one actress. That’s what he got, he thought, for not watching much TV or spending much time at the movies.
While continuing his search, he spotted Cary walking into the canteen. His eyes appeared to be searching as well. When his eyes hit on Rory’s, he headed toward the table. Looking closer at him, Rory thought he looked upset.
Their table had four chairs, and Rory used his foot to push out one so Cary would see he was welcome to sit down with them. When he was seated, Rory saw he’d been right. Cary wasn’t smiling and looked a little pale.
“What’s the matter?” Rory asked him, using a softer voice than he’d been using with Nolan.
Cary didn’t answer. Instead, he looked at Rory, then at Nolan, and then back at Rory. His eyes showed need. Then he lowered his head.
It wasn’t difficult for Rory to figure out what Cary wanted. He looked at Nolan and said, “We’ll be in my trailer. Come get us when you’re ready to resume.” Then he stood up and put a quick hand on Cary’s shoulder. “Let’s go,” he said.
They walked to Rory’s trailer. He unlocked the door and they entered.
“Now, I can see you’re upset. You can talk to me. I want to help. What’s the matter?” Rory was sitting on the bed, and Cary was in a chair next to him. Rory’s voice was compassionate, and Cary started shaking.
“Cary! Come here.”
Cary got up and moved to the bed. Rory put his arm around him, and suddenly Cary was tight up against Rory. Rory put his arm around him. He expected this would last for a few seconds. When it went on and on, he realized Cary’s emotions were becoming more and more raw; he was affected by whatever the problem was to a greater degree than he’d expected.
Eventually, Cary loosened his grip, and Rory let his own arms fall away.
Rory remained silent. This was Cary’s ordeal, and Rory would allow him the freedom to play it out however he wanted to.
Cary was quiet, too, but finally spoke after moving about an inch away from Rory. He did stay on the bed next to him. “I knew you’d be this way,” he said. “You’re exactly like your book. And I’m exactly like you were at thirteen. Small, scared, cowardly. You were a mess, which is why I related so much to how you wrote about yourself. You used your real name in the book. I’m just like Rory back then, but in the flesh.”
“Yes,” Rory said, “I was all that. But I changed. You can, too. You will if you try. If you decide to grow out of your insecurities, you can. It depends on how much you dislike being who you are now.”
“I hate how I am! I want you to show me how to change,” Cary said. “That’s why I was so happy to get this role. I figured you’d be here, even if only to watch. This is even better, that you’re part of it. I can learn from you how to be like you if you’re willing to teach me. Please. I know it’s asking a lot.”
Rory smiled. “It takes a whole lot more than teaching. My teaching you is the easy part. It takes resolve and dedication and a whole lot of work on your part to change. You have to work hard and never give in, no matter how tough it is.”
“I hate the way I am,” Cary said. “I hate being scared and weak. Whatever it is, no matter what, I’ll do what I have to do to be like you, even if I hate doing it. Because I hate even more the way I am now.”
“You have parents, don’t you? They’re the ones who should be helping you with this. They’ll be on your side.”
“Hah! My mom’s fine, but my dad! No, he’s not on my side. He’s my agent. He wants me working and bringing in money. He gets his cut of it, but he gets expenses as well as the agent fee, and the more jobs he can get me, the more he makes. His only focus is money. Mom tries, but he walks right over her. Over me, too. What I say, what I want—he doesn’t even hear it. He overwhelms everyone he’s with.”
“Well, I’ll have to meet him. With you there so he can hear you. That’ll happen sooner or later. But, for now, why were you so upset when you came into the canteen?”
Cary shuddered. “I went to my trailer. I unlocked the door. These table readings can be intense. George is yelling at me and I know he doesn’t mean it, it’s just the script, but, it’s awful! And you’re there and I see it affecting you, too, and I know you lived through it, and, well, I just needed to go lie down afterwards. That’s what I was planning on doing.”
He stopped, and Rory had to encourage him. “So you did lie down? Didn’t that help you calm down?”
“I never made it to my cot. I unlocked the door and went in. Don was there, on the bed, naked, stroking himself. I’d never seen that before. Mom won’t let me watch porn. Kids at school— when I get to go to one—talk about seeing boys jerking off in porn, but I’ve never seen it. We had sex ed, and I know boys do that. But still, seeing it right there in front of me . . .”
He stopped again. Rory put his arm back around him. “You know it’s okay to do that, don’t you? Boys do that. Men, too. It’s normal. Maybe even you do, and if you don’t, you soon will. But is there more here? Why were you so upset?”
“Well, it was the shock of seeing it happening right in front of me when I thought I’d be alone, and then Don grinned at me and told me to come join him, we could do it together. I just stood there. I get like that. I freeze. Then he got up, still stroking himself and came toward me. His eyes were scary. I wasn’t ready for that. I didn’t know what he was going to do, maybe force me to do. He scared me. So I froze. No way could I defend myself if I had to. I just stood there with no idea what was going to happen. When he got close, somehow I came out of it in time to just turn and run. I . . .” He stopped, and then said, very softly, “All I could think of, well, I needed to find you.”
Rory nodded, understanding. “I’m safe, I’d protect you, and you needed that.”
Cary nodded and leaned into Rory, resting his head against the inside of Rory’s shoulder. “I can’t go back in there,” he said after a while.
Rory squeezed him to himself with one arm and said, “You don’t have to. I’ll get you a key to my trailer. You can come here instead of there. And, hey, if you ever need to do what he was doing, and you might, it’s okay. I did at 13. If you need to, put the chain on the door. I’ll try to open it with my key and if it won’t open, I’ll know why and go away for a time. Don’t let that upset you.”
He looked down at Cary and saw he was blushing.
“Hey, don’t sweat it. That’s what we males do. I’m glad to see you blushing. It means you do that, too, and I’m really happy for you. It means you’re normal. Nothing else.”
“I’m such a wimp! I blush and cry and I’m afraid of everyone who even looks at me funny.”
“Yeah, I know. I was that way, too. I’ve read your bio. You have it way better than I did. You’re famous. You’ve done movies and TV and hundreds, maybe thousands of people, especially kids and teens, adore you. I couldn’t imagine anything like that when I was thirteen. You’ve got the world at your feet, Cary. You’re young and beautiful and rich and talented. Incredible.”
“I’m also gay. So all those girls that love me will be disappointed. All the guys, most of them will want to beat me up. I’ll just be afraid of them.”
“You said you wanted to fix that. You can. I did, and I didn’t have a tenth of what you have going for you. Something happened that made me get out of myself, go beyond what I was capable of.”
“Yeah, I read about it in your book. Awesome. I couldn’t do that. But before that, with your dad saying the things—how did you endure that?”
“I endured it by pulling into myself. I’m still like that a little. I’m uncomfortable talking much; I keep my emotions to myself. That came from not being able to talk to my father. I still let other people talk and just listen when I can. But that isn’t all that bad. When I do talk, or am made to act if that’s necessary, it has more effect because people have decided I’m a wimp.”
Rory turned to face Cary. “You’d be surprised what you can do when you’re too angry to be scared, too angry to care what happens to you. I was shocked I could move out of that place I was in, forget my fears, but you know what? I did, and afterwards, when I could digest what had happened, I was so proud. And I made the best friend that I had as a kid.
“That was the beginning of changing who I was, someone I hated, just like you’re hating yourself, into someone I could respect. And when I began respecting myself, other kids’ attitude toward me changed, too. You can do the same thing. It’s in you. You just have to believe it and bring it out.”
Cary looked up at him, and his eyes looked as big as the moon to Rory. “Will you show me how?”
Rory gave him a smile that had a lot of love in it. “I’d be glad to. I don’t have any kids, and I probably never will, but if I did have one and it was a boy, I’d want him to be just like you: open to change, able to listen, smart, polite, and the cutest kid in the next ten counties. Hell, ten states!”
Cary blushed again, then hugged Rory as hard as he could.
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That was a good memory. It began a time with Cary, of getting to know him, and Rory had enjoyed every minute of it. Cary had more spirit than Rory had imagined, and at the table reads he listened to and followed Nolan’s suggestions. Perhaps it was due in part to the training he’d had as an actor, but he rarely had to be asked twice to do anything.
Right from the start he seemed to have a special focus on Rory. Its intensity grew as they spent time together.
Rory, for his part, returned Cary’s feelings. It surprised him how fond he grew of the boy. Thinking about it, he decided Cary brought his protective instincts out. Whatever it was, he bonded with Cary right from the start. Now with his summer plans so up in the air, he started wondering. If he did travel some this summer, could he take Cary with him? It might be good for the boy: the movie had been a smash hit, and Cary was easily recognized now, more famous now than ever. Kids flocked to him when they saw him, and even adults asked for an autograph.
Cary didn’t like the attention. He was still shy, and people rushing to him as if they were old friends upset him. He was much like Rory in that way, just like he was now unconsciously copying a lot of Rory’s mannerisms. Getting away from L.A. had to be something Cary would love to do. Middle-American kids probably wouldn’t be like the ones in L.A. Cary wouldn’t be so recognizable because people wouldn’t be expecting to see him out of his natural habitat.
That became a factor in Rory’s internal argument about whether or not to go to Ripley’s Creek.
Cary was a child star now. His dad was going crazy, getting the number of offers he was. The man would not like Cary leaving L.A. right now and would do all he could to prevent it. Rory knew he’d have to deal with that. Shouldn’t be much of a problem, he thought.