Circumstances 48

The auditorium was full and noisy but quieted down when the three of us marched down the aisle and then up on the stage.  Everyone knew Mr. Johnson.

“I called this assembly because there has been a breach of school rules.”  He made his announcement staring at the gathered students.  Gary and I were standing next to him.  Well, next to, but separate from him, too.  We couldn’t move too far away, but we didn’t want it to look like we were together and in agreement with him in whatever he was going to say. 

We didn’t have any place to sit.  We had to stand.  I don’t know how Gary felt, but I was embarrassed and acutely uncomfortable. 

Mr. Johnson spoke into the cordless mike he was using, and moved back and forth across the stage, much like an evangelist preacher, so he was reaching all sections of the audience equally.  He was a bigger than life figure, commanding in his presence.

“You all know the rules that govern this school.  We give you a handbook so there won’t be any questions.  All the rules are spelled out.  You sign a paper saying you’ve read and understand them and will abide by them.  That paper is kept in your personal file.  Today, two students—” he stopped and gestured at Gary and me “—took it upon themselves to willfully break those rules.”

He looked at us with condescension.  We looked back at him with blank faces, although I may have looked a little puzzled.

He spun back to his audience.  “There is a tendency for students to start taking a lax view of school rules and authority and proper behavior as the year moves forward.  I am here to tell you, this will NOT happen on my watch.  All our rules will be ENFORCED.  These two young men were found KISSING in a school hallway today.  KISSING!  WE WILL NOT HAVE THIS!”

He looked furiously at the students, who’d perked up a little when they’d heard what the accusation was, and saw the two of us standing there.  Hey!  This was good stuff!

Mr. Johnson saw the enthusiasm he’d sparked in the student body and mistook it for hearty approval of his message.  So he thundered on, saying, “Yes, PDA!  Put into the rulebook so no one has to see and put up with what happened today, so the students in this school can concentrate on what they’re here for, LEARNING, instead of seeing sexual activity on display in our hallways.  And today, that rule was violated, and in a manner much worse than what is usual. Today, what occurred wasn’t simply a display of affection as nature intended, between a boy and a girl, but SEXUAL ACTIVITY BETWEEN TWO BOYS!”

I don’t know what he was expecting from that.  Perhaps at minimum a collective gasp, or more appropriately, shrieks of “OH, NO, NOT TWO BOYS!”  What he actually got was no response at all.  Two boys kissing was evidently a major deal to him.  To the school, it didn’t seem to be much of anything.  Ordinarily, it would have at least provoked curiosity about who the boys were, had he not had us on the stage with him.  So, not even that was a mystery, and so, what was the big deal?

Mr. Johnson obviously thought the lack of reaction meant he hadn’t got his point across, that the kids in the audience didn’t understand.  So he decided to emphasize his concern.  “It’s bad enough if an appropriate relationship is expressed in school.  But when it’s a perverted one, a sinful one, a decadent one, we cannot allow it to go unpunished.  We have to actively discourage this obscene and unnatural behavior.  So I’ve brought the two perverts, uh, I meant to say I’ve brought the two perpetrators up here in front of you so you can show them your disapproval of their actions, and so they can apologize to you, and so everyone here will know this sort of extreme, vile, nasty and disgusting behavior will not be tolerated, nor repeated.”

He stopped and looked out at the students, who apparently didn’t understand they were right then and there supposed to show us their contempt.  Maybe they were supposed to boo us, or shout derisively at us?  Mr. Johnson hadn’t made it clear, and the kids didn’t know and weren’t responding.

So, he tried again, and by now, he was getting a little peeved that the message wasn’t being received the way he’d expected it would.

“It’s time for you all to let these two perv—uh, miscreants—know what you think of them.  They’re gay, and were acting out their perverted natures in public where some of you had the misfortune to witness them.  I don’t want that in my halls.  YOU don’t want that in YOUR  halls.  Let these two know how you feel!”  That said, he stuck the cordless mike out toward the crowd, almost demanding that they express their contempt for us.

They didn’t.  They just sat there.  Most of them looked confused. 

So did Mr. Johnson, but he was so full of himself, so sure of his own correctness, that he wasn’t going to be put off.  If the kids in the audience didn’t understand it, I could imagine him thinking, then it was a very good thing indeed that he was there to set them right, to use this as a teaching moment.

He switched the microphone off, then stepped over to us.  “You’re going to tell them what you did was wrong, and apologize for it.  These idiots don’t get it, so do that and you’re both off the hook.  Refuse, or say anything but what I just told you to, and you’ll be suspended.  Who’s first?”

Gary looked troubled.  Which, of course, wasn’t very Gary-like.  I probably looked uncomfortable, too, but then, I hated talking to a group, and this was the entire school.  I wondered why Gary would have a problem, and in the brief time I had, thought about it.

Then I reached up and took the mike from Mr. Johnson.  He got a smirk on his face.  Little did he know.

I stepped to the middle front of the stage, looked at the students, and felt my stomach playing volleyball with itself, my usual reaction to being in front of a crowd and expected to speak.  I took a quick glance at Mr. Johnson, who was looking smug.  A glance at Gary showed him looking uncertain.

It was up to me.  All that self-serving talk to myself about standing up for myself came back to me.  I remembered that old phrase, it’s now or never.  But, I was still me.  How could I possibly do this?