Circumstances 27

This was the first time with someone else for both of us.  What I mean to say by that is, we didn’t do all the things I’ve read about on the Internet.  Just kissing, being new and with someone I liked, was almost too much for me, and while I didn’t really think I’d have been happy just stopping after we did that, I’d like to think I could have accepted it.

But I was gay, and realized I was starting to fall in love with Gary, and so I think I was much more emotionally into what we were doing than Gary was.  There was a different dimension to it for me than there was for him, and so what I was feeling was more intense.  Gary was into it, emotionally involved I mean, but it was the physical part he was most into.  I could have been happy stopping, going to bed and just reliving the kissing, with visions of more to come tomorrow dancing in my head.  Gary wanted more right then.  That’s not to say I didn’t, too.

We undressed, and saw each other fully hard—he was incredibly beautiful—and then he hugged me, and we kissed some more.  I was lying on him, and he was lying on me, and we were squirming around, so it isn’t surprising we never even got to playing with each other’s equipment.  We both were too excited for that.  I think that was more true for me than Gary.  I know I finished first.  Not by all that much, though.  We both really liked it.

We lay there together, our hips touching, breathing hard, and I learned what that word I keep reading in romance novels means—yeah, I don’t only read classical literature like I’m supposed to.  The word I mean is ‘afterglow.’  It always seemed a corny word before, but I understood what it meant, now.

Finally, he rolled over, propped himself up on his elbow, and asked in a sort of dreamy voice if I was ready to sleep.  I nodded at him, smiling.  We were already undressed.  We went into the bathroom together and brushed our teeth, still naked.  Somehow, after what we’d done, that felt right.  More than right.

We brushed, and I looked at him in the mirror, and he looked at me, and suddenly we both burst out laughing for no reason at all, spraying toothpaste foam all over the sink and mirror.  I rinsed and spat, and he did too.  I wanted to take his hand, walking back in to the bedroom, but somehow I was afraid he’d think that was too gay.

He turned off the light and we got into bed, still naked.  I’d never done that before, but it too felt right.  “Roll over like last time,” he said, and I did, and he spooned up against me.  I didn’t fall asleep immediately this time.  I lay there feeling how right this was, right for me at least.  I liked the feel of his muscular bare chest against my back, his legs pressing against mine, his arms around me, and his parts up against my butt.  I liked that a lot.

I woke up in the morning hard as a rock, but there was more than the usual reason for it this time.  I was still on my side, he was still spooning me, but his hand was wrapped around my boner, and he was very gently moving the skin up and down, up and down.  I had no idea how long he’d been doing that, but I woke up just about ready to explode.  And then did about ten seconds later.

“You awake?” he whispered.

“I am now,” I giggled.  Then he rolled over and I, with the most amazing feeling that this was all somehow normal—wonderful but normal— did the same thing to him. 

We showered together, then got dressed and went downstairs.  His mom was in the kitchen, ready to put French toast in the pan.  I could smell both bacon and sausage, and saw a bottle of real maple syrup on the table.  Yum!

Gary’s mom made enough for everyone, and we ate.  I was starved.  I never got food like this at home, and somehow I seemed hungrier than usual anyway.  Neither Gary nor I said much, but he kept raising his eyes from his plate to look at me, and I was doing the same thing to him.

“OK, what’s going on with you two?”

I looked up, and his mom was peering at us over the rim of her coffee cup.  She didn’t look mad or suspicious, just curious, and maybe a little amused.

“What do you mean?” Gary asked, all innocence.

“Something’s going on.  Last night you were both acting squirrelly, and now this morning… well, something’s different.”

Gary looked at me, turning his head to do so, which meant his mother couldn’t see his face.  He looked at me, and winked!

It was all I could do to keep a straight face.  But I managed.  Fear played a role in that, I’m sure.

He turned back to his mother and said, “What are you talking about?”

She shook her head, then grinned at him.  “Don’t worry, you don’t have to tell me.  I’ll figure it out.”

I hated it when it came time to go home.  I really wanted to stay another night, and not just because of what I knew we’d do.  Being at the Jenks’ house gave me a feeling I’d never had before.  I was treated like a son who was loved and respected, something I never got at home.  I saw the relationship Gary had with his parents, and it made me sad.  I was a nice kid.  I wasn’t rebellious or a troublemaker.  I did what I was told to do.  How come there was always so much tension and shouting and anger and judgment in my house, and no love at all?  Why couldn’t I have what Gary had?

I thanked Gary’s mom with probably more emotion than she was ready for when she was dropping me off at home.  She looked at me, reading my face, then reached out and gave me one of her smothering hugs, and held it a while.  While hugging me, she said in my ear, “You’re welcome at our house any time, Keith.  You’re quiet as a church mouse, you’re polite, and I think Gary is learning manners by watching you.  I like having you there.  You’re good for Gary, he’s happier since he’s gotten to know you, and you’re good for me, too.  I like you because of who you are, Keith.  I’m really glad you’re Gary’s friend.  Come anytime you want.  Don’t wait for an invitation.”  Tears came to my eyes, and I had to disengage and hurry into my house so she wouldn't see them.

I walked in to find my mother waiting for me, an anxious expression on her face.  She had something to tell me, and I could tell she expected me not to like it.