Jared’s room was what I’d expect for a jock. Posters of football players, none of whom I recognized. One in a San Francisco 49er’s uniform, one in an Oakland Raider’s uniform, and one in what I assumed was a San Diego State uniform. There were trophies in a large bookcase against one wall, and a set of shoulder pads and several footballs and Oak Ridge High helmets stacked in one corner.

Jared closed the door. I was alone with him, in his room. Suddenly I was nervous again. He pointed to a couple of armchairs that were in a corner of his room. “Let’s sit down. I know you must be nervous, man. Having Linda out you couldn’t have been a fun time. I know, she did it to me. I was her first. You’re her seventh.”

“What? She’d done this with others?”

“Yeah. Didn’t she tell you?”

“No. Who?”

“I can only tell you about me and one other. The other four, well, it’s private and personal, right? I’m not about to out anyone else at your school. It’s their choice to out themselves or not.”

“She’s done this with that many other guys at Oak Ridge High? That’s hard to believe!”

“She’s good, man. She’s got this gaydar thing that spots guys who are gay and closeted and miserable, and she zeros right in on ‘em. So far, it’s turned out great for all of us. I say ‘us’ because I’ve become friends with each of the other guys. They don’t know about each other, but I know all four of them. I’ve done this ‘gay brother’ talk with each of them. Individually, of course.”

“Uhh, you said something about you being able to tell me about one other guy and that you’d tell me who he is.”

“Yeah. He’s my boyfriend, Aaron Deering. He plays for the Aztecs, too. First string guard on offense and tackle on defense. I kid him that he goes both ways.” Jared started laughing. I sat there looking confused.

“Hey, you don’t know what that means?”

I shook my head. “I don’t pay any attention to football. Tennis is my game.”

“Okay, first, in football going both ways means someone who plays both offense and defense. Second, it also means guys who like to have sex with both girls and guys. Saying it to a guy who’s one hundred percent gay, it’s a joke.” He grinned and looked at me, and I just looked at him and smiled. I guess it was funny, but I was so nervous that the world’s funniest joke wouldn’t have made me laugh out loud.

Jared took a deep breath and let it out. “Well, I guess that’s one of those you-had-to-be-there deals. So, let’s start by me talking about my boyfriend. I met Aaron when we went out for the frosh team at San Diego State, and we became friends. He’s from Maine, so when I’d come home for weekends and holidays I’d bring Aaron along with me. He became sort of part of our family. Mom said we were attached at the hip. I’d fallen for him, big time, by the time fall football camp was over, but I was absolutely sure that he was straight. Especially when school started and he began going out with some of the hottest girls in school.

“It all came to a head during second semester. We were home during spring break. Linda asked me if Aaron and I were boyfriends yet. I told her she was crazy, that Aaron wasn’t gay. She just gave me that ‘look’ of hers, and said ‘yeah, sure.’ Later she chatted with Aaron while I was helping Dad grill some steaks. When they were finished talking, Linda winked at me, and I almost pissed my pants. Aaron was looking at me. He smiled, nodded, and gave me a thumbs-up. Oh, shit, that was so fantastic! Turns out he’d thought I was straight. We didn’t say anything to each other until that night when we went up to my room. I closed the door, and before I could even turn around Aaron had his arms around me in a hug and we started kissing. We’ve been together ever since.”

“Are you out at school? Does the team know you guys are gay? And boyfriends?”

“Yes, yes, and yes. We’re in college and it’s no big deal. I know, I know, looking at it from high school, it seems freaky as hell, but people are pretty accepting and pretty much don’t care if you’re straight or gay or bi or whatever when you get to college.”

“How about your folks?”

“Yes, they know that I’m gay and that Aaron is gay and that we’re boyfriends and we’re living together.”

I looked at Jared. “But that all happened since you’ve been in college. What about high school? I don’t know if the kids at Oak Ridge will be as accepting if I came out as gay. What about when you were in high school?”

“I was totally in the closet. When I was in high school kids weren’t very accepting of gay kids who’d come out, not like they are now. There wasn’t a lot of tolerance in high school back then. Everyone was trying to fit the same mold, and if you were different, like a geek, or goth, or gay, you were targeted. It sucked, but that’s pretty much the way it was. At least at Oak Ridge High. Linda says it’s a lot different now, but you’ll have to talk to her about that.” Jared shook his head. “Anyway, when I got to San Diego State I should have figured since it’s so huge, like 34,000 students, that diversity is the way things are there. Gay kids are treated like straight kids and vice-versa. What you do in high school is your decision. But, again, talk to Linda about that.”

“I think I should stay in the closet. I’m focusing on getting top grades so I can get into Cal. I’m going to be a computer science major.”

“It’s up to you, but if you have any concerns, my recommendation would be stay in the closet. In the fall you’ll be in college and it’s going to be a hell of a lot easier for you to come out. And that’s true of Cal or San Diego State or Stanford or almost any non-religious school in the state.”

“Damn. That’ll make it tough to find someone while I’m in high school… well, like you found Aaron… of course, you were in college.”

“Looking for a boyfriend for the few months you have left in high school could be a distraction. When you pick your college, what are the chances your high school boyfriend would end up at the same school? Probably not high. You should just stick to Mr. Right for sex.” He waved his right hand.

That was funny and I laughed, even if it was an old joke. “Yeah, I can see that.”

“I’m glad I waited.” Jared got an expression on his face that made me think he was looking back to those days, and his voice became nostalgic. “I got the grades I needed to make it into a good school, and I qualified for a scholarship. An academic scholarship. Football’s a fun thing that I did in high school and that I’m doing at San Diego State. What counts is that I’m going for a Sports Management degree then an MBA in marketing. College is what counts, Kevin. Good grades in high school are an absolute necessity to make that happen.”

I thought about that. Jared was making sense. I told him that, and we continued to talk for another hour. We talked about lots of things, like web sites where I could find out more about being gay, and some good gay porn sites. I gave him my email address and watched as he sent me an email with links to about a dozen sites. I felt a lot better after we finished, and I was convinced that keeping the fact that I was gay private was the way to go. That way there would only be two people at Oak Ridge who know that I was gay, me and Linda. It also meant I didn’t have to confide in my parents yet; I simply wasn’t ready to do that and didn’t think I would be until I was actually in college.

I thanked Jared for his advice, and we went downstairs. Linda, of course, wanted to know everything. I grinned at her, and shook my head. “That was a private conversation between me and Jared, Linda. Thanks for setting it up for me. You’ll be glad to know that I feel a lot better now, and I’m getting comfortable with who I am.”

She looked at Jared, who put his hands in front of him palms out, and shook his head. I could tell she was frustrated. I thought it was funny, and actually laughed at her. It was fun seeing her like that.

So, that was supposed to be the rest of my senior year in high school.

But then I met Dennis and I started to question my decision to stay in the closet.

I was on the “Buddy” team at Oak Ridge High. The job of a buddy was to help incoming students. Almost all of our buddy jobs were acclimating freshmen and other incoming students at the beginning of the school year. But because Los Robles is a rapidly growing city, we’d occasionally have to buddy an incoming transfer student later in the school year.

It was the seventh of April, more than halfway through the last semester of my senior year, a Monday morning. I was handed a note from the office by my homeroom teacher. It said I was to be the buddy for an incoming student who was also senior. He would arrive the next morning.

When I woke up Tuesday morning I had that strange feeling again. First day blues. What the hell was that about? I wasn’t starting a new school year; the only thing different was that I was going to show some new kid around on his first day at Oak Ridge High School. Bizarre. I tried to shake it off, but it stuck with me like like a burrito from the cafeteria on the third day in a row they were serving them; most of us knew not to pick them after the first day!

I got to school a little early and went to the office. I stood at the counter and Ms. Adams looked up. “Good morning, Kevin. I assume that you’re here to be the buddy for our new student. Is that correct?”

I handed her the note. “Yes, the note says his name is Dennis Liu.”

“Dennis arrived a few minutes ago, and he’s in with Mr. Frobisher going over his schedule. Have a seat; they should be finished soon.”

I sat down and waited. Unlike a doctor’s or dentist’s office, school administration offices don’t have stacks of out-of-date magazines to distract those waiting. They don’t have any magazines at all. All they provided for my reading enjoyment was a stack of measly “Welcome to Oak Ridge High School!” flyers. And the textbooks in my backpack. I closed my eyes and tried to think about my AP Calculus class. There was going to be a quiz this morning, and while I was ready I was a little nervous. I really wanted an A on the quiz to guarantee my A for the year. My AP Calculus class was the equivalent of the first year of Calculus at Cal. I’d have to take the College Board AP Calculus exam at the beginning of May. That was the big one, the grade that would be sent to Cal, and it would be the tipping point whether I could go right into Differential Equations or whether I’d have to take Calculus all over again at Cal. So, that AP exam was important.

I was thinking about all that when I heard a door open, and I looked up. An Asian guy walked out of one of the offices followed by Mr. Frobisher, the head of the counseling staff.

Oh, my god, this guy was drop-dead gorgeous! I mean, if you’re a guy you never think that about another guy. If you’re gay maybe you think a guy is cute. But in this case ‘gorgeous’ was the only way to describe him, the only word that really did him justice. My first thought was that he was a movie star or a model. His hair was bleached to a surfer-dude mix of mostly blond with brown and black tips and highlights and was spiked to a length of about an inch and a half. His features were absolutely perfect: small ears, a small nose, pouty lips framing a smile that showed dazzling white teeth, dimples — oh, my god, dimples! — and a perfect tan on totally unblemished skin. The most amazing thing was his eyes. They weren’t brown like most of the Asian guys at school, but an unbelievable, brilliant sky blue, framed at the top by blond eyebrows. Fantastic, blue, Asian, almond-shaped eyes. I fell in lust as I watched him walk toward me. It was like time had slowed down so I could stare at this Dennis Liu guy and memorize everything about him. He was breathtaking.

“Dennis, this is Kevin Powell, he’ll be your buddy for your first few days here at Oak Ridge. Kevin, say hello to Dennis Liu. Here’s his schedule. You two will be together in most of your classes.”

I stood up, Mr. Frobisher handed me Dennis’s class schedule, and I quickly glanced at it. I looked at Dennis, smiled, and held out my hand. Dennis shook hands with me, and I felt a tingle as our hands touched. I realized that I was staring at him. I saw Mr. Frobisher returning to his office, and I was still holding Dennis’s hand. I let go of his hand and blushed, and Dennis laughed. It was like a combination of a laugh with some sort of deep sound like Tibetan wind chimes blended in.

“Hi, Kevin.” Again that laugh. “You okay, man? You seem a little, uhh, flustered, or something.” His voice was normal, a bit on the light side, but sexy, and with just a trace of an accent.

“Jeez, I’m sorry. You just look like some movie star or model or someone I’ve seen on TV. Like that guy who’s in… um… I just saw the trailer… it’s not out yet…. Oh, yeah, Pacific Rim: Uprising.”

“I think you mean Mackenyu. Thanks, but no, that’s not me. I’m just plain Dennis Liu. No movie contract, I’m afraid.” He smiled. “I guess I do look a little different, what with the hair and eyebrows. I was in a play before I left my last school, and I had to have blond hair for the part. I liked it, and won the argument with my mom about keeping it or not.”

I looked at his hair. “Man, it’s great. I’ve never seen anyone with hair like yours, and never on the Asian guys I know.”

He smiled and… and just like in some cheap gay romance story on the internet, the room lit up. Man, I had to get control of myself! To keep him from seeing how flustered I was, I looked back at his schedule. Just as Mr. Frobisher had said, Dennis had all the same classes as me, with two exceptions. He’d be taking AP Sociology 6th period when I was in my Journalism and Publications class and Theatre Arts 7th period when I was taking Robotics.

The bell sounded, and I looked up. “Time for homeroom. Mr. Dimmitz, or as we like to call him when he can’t hear us, Mr. Dimwits. He’s pretty much clueless, but all he has to do is take role and let us listen to the announcements. Soon as that’s over, we can sit and chat until the bell. Or try to finish our homework. Or take a very short nap.”

“Sweet. I’m pretty much out of it in the morning anyway. I’m a night person. How ‘bout you?”

I laughed. “Oh, ditto, for sure. If Mom didn’t drag my sorry ass out of bed every morning I’d arrive at school somewhere around noon.”

We walked out of the office into the crowds in the hall. “Shit, man, where’d all these peeps come from? Looks like an L.A. freeway.”

I laughed, nodding. “Dennis, welcome to Oak Ridge High School morning rush hour. And get used to it. Four thousand six hundred students in 9th through 12th grades plus some hundreds of teachers and administrators will be filling the halls and walkways here before and after school and between classes. And wait until you see the cafeteria and the snack shop. The lines go on forever. I usually bring my lunch so I don’t have to waste my time in the lines.”

“Whoa, this is amazing. Greyson, in San Antonio — that’s in Texas and was the high school I went to — had about seventeen hundred students. You guys are like three times as big. Jeez, you must have great teams with that many students to pick from.”

“Yeah, we’re pretty good in most sports. We won our league and the division title in football this year, but lost the first championship game by 17 points. That sucked. Our basketball team finished third in our league. Baseball team’s doing great; they should win league and maybe more. We’ll probably be number one in the state track and field championships again this year. We’re always at the top in swimming and water polo, too.”

“Sweet. Greyson was the arts magnet school for our district, so we didn’t do so great in sports. Except tennis; we actually won the state title last year.”

“Must suck having to move this close to the end of your senior year. Not to be able to graduate with all your friends.”

Dennis’s expression made him look sad, and I figured that he was. “Yeah, it really sucks having to move. Not much I could do about it. My folks got divorced, and it was really messy. My mom has relatives all over Southern California, so she picked Los Robles because she could get a condo with three bedrooms here that she could afford. I left a lot of friends, especially in the drama department.” He smiled. “I love acting! I’m just glad that I was able to finish our big play — we put one on every year, and being a senior, this time I had a lead role. A couple of the students in the drama department actually wrote the play themselves, and it was so fantastic, so good when our class and our teacher read it, we decided to put it on. Then it was so popular we had to extend the run by an extra week, nine more performances including two on Saturday.” Dennis looked at me and smiled. “I think you would have liked it. It was funny as hell, and it got great write-ups in the San Antonio papers.”

“Cool. Sounds like you had fun. You said three bedrooms; do you have brothers or sisters?”

“Nah, just me and Mom. She works from home, so the extra room is her work space. She designs swimsuits for an internet outlet.”

I grinned at him. “Speedos?”

He grinned back. “I wish. Nah, women’s, the kind that are sort of the opposite of bikinis. She’s got this way where she can design them so they look really good but still cover up all of the parts that more modest women want to hide.”

“Are you sorry you’re going to miss your senior prom?”

“Yeah. I finally got up the nerve to ask this girl, and she said ‘yes’, and then Mom dropped the ‘we’re going to move, get packed’ bomb on me. Barbie was sad, but she understood.”

I looked at Dennis and laughed. “Your date’s name was Barbie? Like the Barbie doll?”

Dennis grinned back at me and nodded. “Yup. And that’s her real name, Barbie. It’s not a nickname. I don’t know why parents do shit like that, naming their kids something that’s gonna make them embarrassed all through school. She’s really a nice girl. Thing is, she actually likes the name Barbie. Weird. Anyway, when I asked her she said she’d go to the prom with me, and was so sweet, and she didn’t even care that….” Dennis stopped talking for a couple seconds. “It was like three days after she told me ‘yes’ that I told her I couldn’t take her to the prom. Before I could explain why, she said she’d change her name if that’s what was bothering me. Then I told her it was because we were moving. Anyway, that’s water under the bridge. Have you had your senior prom yet?”

“Nope. It’s next month, on the 23rd of May. Hey, we should be able to get you a date and you can come to the Oak Ridge Senior Ball. It should be amazing. It’s going to be held at the Del Coronado Hotel in San Diego. Wait’ll you see that place! Only problem will be to get you tickets; they aren’t on sale any more, but I’m sure….”

Dennis grinned, put his hands out palm forward, and interrupted me. “Hey, hey, slow down there, kemosabe! This is my first day at this school, you’re the only student I’ve met, and you’re already hooking me up with some girl for the prom. Ain’t gonna happen. No girl’s gonna want to go to her senior prom with someone who just showed up and who she doesn’t even know, and who’s only going to be around for a couple months.”

“It’s called the Senior Ball, not the prom, and as soon as the girls around here get one look at you, you’re going to be very popular. You are a very sexy looking dude, Dennis.” I started laughing, and he joined me.

“If you say so, Kevin. But I’m not going to get all excited about it if and until it happens.”

“You just watch. This is our homeroom. Room C112. Prepare to be amazed and bored out of your skull. I’ll bet old man Dimwits doesn’t even introduce you.”