Seasons for the Boy

Chapter One

"Get the hell out of this city," Pat's doctor ordered. "Your body seems to be allergic to just about everything you eat and breathe here. Get a country place, grow some healthy vegetables, and for God's sake, get yourself some sun."

Okay, the geek lifestyle had been a disaster to his health. Too many hours at a keyboard in darkened rooms with artificial light and air…yeah, he needed a change. Pat had made a good living while making himself ill and he figured it was time to spend a few of those dollars on recovery.

He'd been feeling poorly for several years and never chalked it up to city living. His sinuses had been bothering him, his stomach always seemed to be upset and then the coughing had started. The doctor was blunt; he was killing himself for no damn good reason. A change was in order and it needed to happen now.

The big question was could he just up and leave the city? New York was the center of his universe, the source of life from the time his mother had brought him home from the hospital. He'd been nurtured here, learned about life on these streets and now he was forced to abandon it all. The doctor had implied it was a quality of life matter, and as he grew older he would suffer the consequences, if he managed to get there at all.

Like most people he tried to figure a way out, something a little less drastic. He was only twenty pounds overweight by the chart in the doctor's office. Thank God he'd been blessed with a high metabolism. But it seems the weight wasn't the big issue, his allergies were.

Pat was lactose intolerant, so he didn't drink cow's milk. His system couldn't handle soy products either and from the tests there was a whole list of other irritants. He'd tried being vegetarian for a while but he missed eating meat and all that green stuff created other issues. Damn, maybe the doctor was right…he had to move.

Pat reviewed his short list of friends and decided they would all survive without him. Most of them were part of his business world and they could still work with him online. The beauty of the internet was that it had no boundaries. He could be in Upper Mongolia and still maintain his career, but he was probably allergic to yak milk as well.

As for relationships, that page had been blank for several years. Not that he hadn't found himself a few companions on occasion, he just felt too old to be hanging out in bars trying to pick up some fuck puppy.

Yeah, Pat felt old at the tender age of thirty-two, something that would have sent his father into uncontrollable fits of laughter. Well, maybe he would have laughed but they hadn't spoken since Pat was sixteen. Not since he spoiled the family Christmas with the big announcement. You know, 'Hey everybody, I'm gay.' And he'd thought the season was supposed to be filled with good cheer, bah humbug.

So he'd finished school pretty much on his own and moved out of the house. College was fun and a lot of hard work, but he'd fixed his mind on a goal. Computers had always been a passion, now it became his career. He was very good at thinking things through so he became a software designer. Over time he developed a reputation and his services became marketable.

So he would move…but where? If there was a choice then he wanted to live in a sparsely populated area, one where people weren't constantly in your face. Pat enjoyed the change of seasons and yet he enjoyed the ocean as well. North seemed to be the best choice and so he packed for a short scouting expedition.

He took the train north through Connecticut and Massachusetts in search of his own little wilderness. Feeling like a pioneer, he poured over a map of New Hampshire and put a finger down on the page. The town he chose was aptly named New Bridge, nestled in the foothills of the White Mountains.

Mountains…Pat was stunned by the beauty and majesty that lay beyond the town as he walked through the streets amidst a swirl of autumn leaves. The tiny real estate office was beside a drugstore and across the street from the public library. A small brass bell tinkled as he opened the door and it made him smile.

Four hours later Pat was signing on the dotted line for a two bedroom cottage, a cozy place, barely three miles from the center of town. The agent could hardly believe he could be so easily persuaded. He laughed and told her she should spend some time in the city and then maybe she'd understand.

The house came with an attached garage, a snug little storage building and five acres of land covered in trees. There would be plenty of room to spare for the years of accumulated debris. And with a grin Pat headed back to the city. It was time to pack.

He moved in right after Thanksgiving, just in time for the first serious snowfall of the season. The house seemed to sit amidst a wonderland of soft white snowflakes unblemished by the hand of man. Pat went to sleep listening to the quiet hiss of the wind swirling the snow through the eaves and awoke to almost two feet of powder blocking his driveway.

Pat was just sitting down to coffee when the sound of a powerful engine got his attention as it approached the house. He heard a knock, opened the door and was immediately blinded by the sun’s glare off the snow cover. The wind whirled icy particles in a bitterly cold tornado just outside his door, but there was an odd looking fellow standing on the doorstep.

The guy was clad in fur from head to toe, giving the impression that he was either part muskrat or the Eskimo had invaded New Hampshire. The smell of whiskey and wet fur made Pat gasp, but he reluctantly invited the man inside so he could close the door.

"Barry Tolliver," The man said by way of greeting. "You must be the man from New York City. Howd'ja like our first snow?"

"Impressive," Pat replied, shaking the man’s hand. "Is that a snowplow you're driving?"

"Yep, sure is. First plow of the year is free, after that two hundred dollars a month and I'll keep your drive open down to the county road. Do we have a deal?"

"It actually sounds pretty good," Pat agreed. "My name is Patrick Stevens, I'm glad you stopped by Mr. Tolliver."

"You wouldn't have a wee drop of spirits in the house, would ya?" Tolliver asked.

"Sorry, I sure don't. But I'll get something as soon as I can, just in case it snows again."

"Again? Hell, son, it ain't gonna stop snowing 'til spring. I'll be over here three times a week, I bet'cha."

With that comment, Tolliver turned on his heel and opened the door, stepping back into the maelstrom. Across the snow covered yard Pat could see his ancient plow idling in the drive. The engine rumbled and the plow blade dropped down as the truck creaked and groaned back down the drive opening a path before it. Pat closed the door and was just about to sip his coffee when there was a knock once again.

Now what? He opened the door and smiled at the junior sized version of Tolliver that stood on his doorstep. At least the smaller bundle didn't smell of whiskey, in fact he smelled pretty good. Warm brown eyes stared out from under a snow covered cap.

"And who might you be?" Pat asked.

"Mike Tolliver…I'll shovel your walkway for two dollars."

"Two dollars, that seems reasonable enough," Pat said. "Step inside, aren't you cold?"

"Cold? It's mighty warm out today, almost twenty-five degrees. Just you wait until mid-winter, gonna be lots of days below zero this year."

This was the second Tolliver to give him a dire prediction about the winter ahead. But Mike didn't seem to be in a hurry to start shoveling so Pat decided they needed to get acquainted. He offered a coffee and the boy readily accepted.

The wet fur came off revealing the lad to be wearing only a t-shirt and shorts underneath.

"See I told you it was warm outside," Mike laughed.

Okay, the young man had a sense of humor. Pat could admire the muscular young body, but Mike’s age was indeterminate. High school, perhaps a junior?

"How old are you Mike, do you mind if I ask?"

"Seventeen…how about you?"

"Thirty-two."

Mike was small for his age, but Pat wasn’t about to mention that, it was probably a sensitive issue. The face was open and innocent, cheeks ruddy from exposure to the cold and the hair a dark mop of wet tangles from wearing that fur hat. Pat handed the boy a clean dishtowel.

"I’ll keep your walkways clear," Mike said as he rubbed the moisture from his hair. "I do yard work during the warm months. I figure you'll need my help come spring."

"And why's that?"

"You have twenty or so fruit trees and they take constant care. Your blackberry bushes on the south end will give off about twenty gallons of berries come August. My ma cans her’s. I also noticed you'll have to cut down some of the deadwood just the other side of the house. Wouldn't do to have branches falling on the roof and tearing down your gutters."

The kid knew his stuff. Pat hadn't noticed any of these things when he bought the house. But it wouldn't matter since he would have hired someone to take care of the yard work once it became necessary. It remained to be seen if Mike was all talk or if he could really handle that type of job. Either way, he would delight in having such a handsome creature about the place.

"Then I guess we'll have to make some kind of a deal," Pat said.

"Figured you'd say that," Mike said. "Lot of work to keep a place like this looking good. What'cha do for a job?"

"Computers, I design programs for the security industry."

"Hacker, huh? I don't know too much about programming. I just play games on mine."

"Well, then I'll have to teach you," Pat said.

Mike spent an hour shoveling the walk that day and after every snowfall for the next month. Pat continued to chat with the boy and their friendship slowly developed as Christmas passed on by.

Pat enjoyed the youthful enthusiasm and the companionship helped him weather the early winter storms. The thought of Mike sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot chocolate would often make Pat smile. The boy was a fountain of information about life in a small town.

Winter had settled in and just as Mike predicted it was promising to be quite dramatic. His shorts gave way to heavy wool pants and Pat was disappointed at losing the view of those shapely legs. It seemed like it would be spring before that pleasure returned, but he was wrong.

The blizzard that struck in late December spoiled Pat's plans for spending the New Year down in the city with some friends. It would have been his first return trip since moving to New Bridge and he had been looking forward to sharing his thoughts about the quaint little town and its people.

But the Nor'easter which blew in dumped over forty inches of snow during the last three days of the month, with the wind pushing the drifting snow into monstrous piles across the roads. Pat was trapped like a bear in his cave, but it didn’t seem depressing.

He had plenty of food and a good supply of diesel fuel for the emergency generator should it come to that. The phone lines went down but the power stayed on and so the house was toasty warm for the moment. He decided to open a good book and wait out the storm. But it came as a surprise when he heard a knock at the door. It had to be Mike.

With snowshoes on his feet the boy had walked the three miles to Pat's doorstep, and he seemed relieved the minute the door opened.

"What the hell are you doing out in this storm?" Pat yelled above a howling wind that blew swirls of snowflakes across the tile floor.

Mike kicked the contraptions off his feet and gave Pat a frozen grin. "Phones are out. I figured you might get worried about being trapped in here all alone."

Pat knew bullshit when he heard it, something was up. "I don't believe your folks let you go out in this weather, you look half frozen."

"They aren't home. They went down to Boston to visit my grandmother yesterday, she's been sick. I'm sure they won't be able to get back for a few days so I can stay here."

Pat realized the boy was the one scared by the storm. How sweet, he'd come here for protection. His coat was soaking wet and Pat could see the gleam of sweat starting to form on Mike's face. The kid was burning up under all that fur.

"You're soaking wet, did you bring any dry clothes?"

Mike reached in his pocket and pulled out his toothbrush. "It's all I've got, sorry."

Pat led him into the laundry room and hung the coat over the sink to drip. Mike's wool shirt and pants came off next but even his long johns were soaked. "I'll have to get you some of my clothes to wear until yours are dry," Pat said.

"Sure, thanks," Mike replied. "Got any shorts?"

Pat pointed him towards the bathroom and gave him a fresh towel. Mike would feel like a new man after a hot shower. He just hoped the boy didn't get sick from running around out there in the cold.

In the spare bedroom, Pat dug in his storage trunk for a pair of shorts that might fit Mike's slender waist. What he found was a pair of his old boxers, a sweatshirt and a pair of gym shorts. They would all be a bit large, but was that a bad thing?

Pat didn’t know anything about Mike’s sexual development. That was a topic which had never come up between them. The boy was old enough to have a girlfriend, but he had never mentioned one. That didn’t mean anything since there were probably a lot of things Pat wouldn’t know unless Mike told him.

Mike came wandering into the bedroom with the towel around his waist. "You're still wet and dripping on my carpet," Pat said.

"Oops, sorry," Mike grinned. He removed the towel from his waist and began rubbing it across his head. Pat almost groaned, he didn't need to see everything but the boy didn't seem to mind.

Mike's head was still buried in the towel as he slowly turned, giving Pat a view of his tight little butt. Nothing he saw said that Mike was anything but a well-developed young man. Of course not, and Pat smiled when he realized Mike had put himself on display like this to make sure that was understood.

"Are you still a virgin?" Pat asked out of the blue.

"What?" Mike stammered. A blush began to spread across his face.

"You know…a sexually inexperienced person. Virgin doesn't just apply to women, you know."

"Oh." The boy's face was completely red.

"Nothing to be worried about, Mike. You seem to have all the right equipment so it's only a matter of time."

They both looked down at the same time and Mike hurriedly covered his rising erection. "See, it does work," Pat laughed.

"That wasn't fair," Mike said, but he was smiling. "You made me do that."

"Me? I did nothing," Pat replied. "Why don't you put some clothes on?"

They ate an early supper and watched the news on television. The storm had closed all the major north-south highways so the Tollivers were definitely stuck in Boston. Mike started to yawn around ten o'clock and fell asleep on the couch a short time later. Pat didn't want to move the boy and instead covered him up and took himself off to bed.

He awoke very early with the feeling that something was wrong. He glanced over at the alarm clock and realized the numbers weren't lit. The power had gone out and it was getting colder in the house. Pat groaned, and then dressed for a trip outside to the generator shed. Kick it over and flip the switch, it would have enough power for lights, appliances and the heater fans. Thank God, the propane tanks for the heating system were topped off.

The shed was only twenty feet behind the house but the trip was quite an experience. The strong winds pushed against him and the whirling snow felt like sandpaper against his skin. Fortunately, the generator started on the second crank and purred like a kitten. The engine would run for twelve hours before he would have to refill the tank. Pat threw the switch to the house and watched the porch light come back on.

Returning to the house, he could hear the furnace running once again, which was good news. A glance at the couch showed him that Mike had disappeared. Pat found him a moment later sound asleep in his bed under the comforter. It didn't seem to matter, they both needed to stay warm. Pat crawled in beside the boy and snuggled up close before going back to sleep.

Dawn woke him, or maybe it was the warmth of the boy nestled in his arms. He didn't want Mike to feel uncomfortable, but his arm was draped over the boy and they were touching. Pat did the only thing he could think of, he rolled over and faced the wall.

The minute he let go, Mike sat up. "Pat…are you awake?"

"Hmm…what?" Pat replied, pretending he had just awakened. "Is something wrong?"

"No…I didn't know you were awake."

"Oh… yeah. I had to go crank up the generator, it got cold in here," Pat said.

"Yeah, that woke me up…um…that's why I crawled in your bed. Is it okay, can I stay here?"

"Yeah, its fine, Mike. I don't let just any boy sleep in my bed, but you'll do."

There was silence for a while and then Mike settled back down, their bodies coming in contact. Pat didn't know what to think, this was all something very new. Maybe the boy was feeling lonely? How should he respond?

But they were both sleeping in their underwear and Pat knew the boy was awake. Mike ended the stalemate in a most unexpected way. He rolled over and laid an arm over Pat's body. This meant they were close, so close that he could feel the boy's breath on his back.

"Mike…?"

"Pat…when did you know you were gay?"

Pat wouldn't have felt more stunned if the roof had caved in at that moment.

"Uh…Mike? Who said anything about my being gay?"

"Pa says you are, he told me to watch out for you and that's what I’ve been doin…watchin you. Can we have sex?"

"Mike Tolliver, I never…what makes you think I want to have sex with you?"

"I was just hoping. I like guys, but I never felt like doing anything until I met you."

Pat rolled over to face the boy. "You think you're gay?" Pat ran a hand across Mike's face, brushing the hair back from his eyes. "Does anyone know?" He asked.

"Oh God no, I would get my ass kicked ten ways from Sunday. Pa thinks a lot of the New Yorkers come up here are gay."

"Oh…I don't think I said anything to make him think that," Pat said.

"It don't matter, he likes you. Fact is…he thinks he'll make lots of money off you year round. Says New Yorkers don't know anything about country living."

Pat laughed. "Well he's right. I'm a total city dude. Fortunately I have this wonderful young person who plans to help me out around the yard."

Mike grinned. "I'd do it for free if we…" He began to blush and Pat thought about the naughty little things going through his mind.

"Mike…I am gay, does that make you feel better about yourself?"

The boy grinned. "Sure does, you wanna fuck me now?"

"Mike…slow down, nothing is going to happen between us this very second. You're too young and I would get in a lot of trouble."

"I know. Not like I'm plannin to tell anybody. We're gonna do it someday I figure. What's it feel like to get fucked?"

"I think we need to stop this conversation. Let me catch my breath at least, you shocked me with that one. Are you hungry?"

Mike smiled. "Always."

"Then let me make some breakfast. Then I suppose I better go top off the generator, no telling how long it will be until the power comes back on."

"Pa says you got enough diesel fuel to last a week so that might work out," Mike said. "But then you have that lean-to full of firewood, we could hold out for a couple weeks."

"Oh God, don't tell me it takes the power company that long to get things fixed. I can't even use the oven."

"That's why you got a gas range and the generator, we'll be fine."

Look who was exuding confidence now. Mike had known all along that Pat was prepared to weather this storm. The boy was a lot more aware of things than he had thought. And then he just had to know one more thing.

"So when did you decide we were going to have sex?" Pat asked, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice.

Mike shrugged. "I was hoping we might right off, I sure wanted to. I saw the way you looked at me that first day we met…I've been thinking about you a lot."

Pat smiled. "Honestly? I've been thinking about you too, but I don't know why. Now breakfast."

The one thing a lonely gay man learns how to do is cook. Pat had never felt like eating out all the time, especially in the hustle and bustle of the city. So he had learned to cook a few things well and there were enough provisions here to last a week. The store was only a three mile slog through the snow if they ran out of something. Mike's father would be along in a few days to plow them out and until then…Oh God…he was trapped with a teenage sex maniac. Now why didn't that bother him more?

With breakfast done, they cleaned up and threw on winter gear for the trip out to the shed. The generator was humming along and Pat cranked on the fuel pump for a few minutes to top it off. On the way back they filled their arms with firewood.

Somehow Pat had acquired this vision of Mike laid out naked on a bear skin rug in front of the fireplace. What an inspiration, especially since the boy would be more than willing. He had a decision to make because indulging the boy would have consequences.

If they ever had a falling out then life here in tiny little New Bridge would be over. But if someone ever found out…that was the real issue, wasn't it? Mike could be his lover for a while and then probably move on to someone his own age. It happened all the time just like that. Once Mike had the experience he would be confident enough to seek a boy more to his liking…a peer.

If he let the boy cross that line then there would be hours of glorious sex…but why had the boy chosen him? Was this luck or a curse? Either way Mike needed an answer, his eyes were begging to know something.

Pat sat them down with a coffee to warm up. "I want to know what makes you feel gay, Mike. Are guys what you think about when sex comes to mind?"

"No, I don't know any gay boys here," Mike said. "Before you came all I saw were pictures in some magazines my dad has. You know, guys doin it with girls…but all I ever looked at were the guys."

"So you masturbated looking at the guys, do you still do that?" Pat asked.

"No…I don't have those pictures anymore." Mike became silent looking across the table, unsure what to say. "I…I think about you now, okay?" He was blushing and Pat wanted to hug him…did he dare?

"Hmm, well I'm flattered. I don't think I can compare to those magazine guys."

"Oh yes, you're real Pat…you're the most real guy I know."

"Do you think all gay men want teenage lovers or just me?"

Mike shook his head. "I don't know what you like…don't you like me?"

Pat couldn't make the boy any more miserable. "I like you very much. I think you’re a very sexy creature. Does that make you happy?"

"Yeah. Does that mean we can have sex?"

"We'll explore the possibilities. You have a lot to learn about being gay and sex isn’t the first thing on the list."

"Teach me, Pat….make me your lover."

"Perhaps I will, but not at eight o’clock in the morning," Pat said.

The snow had stopped falling as the weather system blew away to the north-east. The wind stayed with them most of the day and Mike said that would make the snow drift and keep the roads from being plowed. Pat resigned himself to being trapped in the house for several days.

Without the phone lines there was no internet. Pat promised himself that come spring he would investigate a satellite connection, but even that had issues in bad weather. No, they would now be stuck watching old movies on television or DVD, unless…

Pat dug in the trunks he had stored in the spare bedroom and pulled out his ancient Monopoly game. He hadn’t played this since college when they had all night marathon games that sometimes made the players miss a lecture. He turned around to find Mike staring at the other things stored in the room

"Wow…you’re a pack rat," Mike laughed.

"This? I only brought a few things with me, there’s a bunch more back in the city."

"What was it like in the city? Do you have a lot of gay friends down there?"

"I didn’t have a boyfriend if that’s what you’re asking," Pat said, and then he sighed. "I was too involved in work for a relationship. I have gay friends but a lot of them are just acquaintances. It takes effort to develop a relationship and I didn’t put much energy into something like that. "

Ain’t that the truth, Pat thought. Sure, there had been the occasional sexual encounter, but in this day and age of AIDS paranoia they were far from satisfying. He couldn’t tell Mike all that. If the kid was gay then he would have to be carefully taught that having sex was a personal responsibility.

Fortunately Mike was still young enough to learn and when he turned eighteen sometime in the year ahead…New Year…yikes, that was tomorrow.

"Hey, this is New Year’s Eve…I almost forgot all about it, " Pat said.

Mike grinned. "Looks like you’re stuck with me."

"I could never be stuck with you. We’ll have to celebrate, and I think there’s even a bottle of champagne…somewhere. So, do you know how to play Monopoly?"

Mike shook his head. They could be stuck here for a week, plenty of time to show Mike why buying Boardwalk could be a nightmare if you didn’t have the assets to back it up. They spent New Year’s Eve on generator power and drank champagne to toast the change in the calendar.

There was no denying that they would sleep in the same bed tonight…uh, this morning, but Pat was looking forward to a snuggle and little else. He couldn’t deny that it was delightful to watch Mike undress, but the boy was giggling and then sat down on the bed in laughter. Too much bubbly?

"Are you drunk, young man?" Pat asked.

"Oh hell no, that stuff isn’t very strong."

The laughter continued as Mike removed his boxers and stood naked. For a short person, since Mike was all of five foot five inches tall, naked looked very sexy to Pat’s eyes.

"Then what are you laughing at?" Pat asked.

Mike reached over to the dresser and grabbed his wallet. He produced his driver’s license and handed it to Pat who had no idea what was afoot. Okay, Michael Andrew Tolliver, the post box number and then Pat froze while his mouth dropped open.

That was enough of a reaction to make Mike laugh even harder as Pat stared down that the birthdate printed on the license.

"Jesus, Mikey…today is your birthday…why didn’t you tell me?"

"We don’t do birthdays well in my family. I usually don’t tell anyone I was born on the first day of the year."

Pat reached out and pulled Mike into an embrace. "You told me and that means we have to celebrate. We’ll bake a cake tomorrow and…"

Mike leaned up and kissed Pat on the cheek. It was undeniably sweet, and Pat looked down at the warmth in Mike’s eyes.

"So can we have sex now? I’m legal."

It took three days for the state to clear the roads, long enough for Pat to realize he was hopelessly falling in love with Mike. It wasn't just the sex, although they had shared almost everything. The boy was just so interesting to be around.

All those years of repressed feelings had made the boy tender, a gentle lover. Pat couldn’t imagine how lonely it had been growing up the only gay boy around. On top of that, Mike had started school a year late and turned seven in first grade because of his birth date. He had been teased about that and his size ever since. It made Pat protective…and then Mike's parents came home. The moment was announced by the roar of a snow plow coming up the driveway.

Two minutes later there was a knock on the door and Mike went to answer it.

"Jesus, Mike, we were worried about you. Your mother freaked out because you weren’t home, but I knew you’d be here. Hello Pat, hope the boy hasn't been a bother," Barry said.

"Nope, helped me keep the tanks topped off and plays a mean game of Monopoly, too," Pat said.

"Yeah, well, didn't mean for him to get stuck like that, thanks for looking out," Barry said. "Come on boy, we got some snow to move."

"Thank you, Pat," Mike said, holding his hand out for a shake. An hour ago his tongue was down Pat's throat, now they were play acting for his dad.

"Sure thing, squirt. Remember, you get stuck with that math homework come look me up, okay?" Pat said.

"Sure thing," Mike said. And then turning to his father. "Pat says I can do the math, I just been thinkin about it wrong."

"You teach?" Barry asked.

"Nope, it's just that math is all a part of my business. I'll be glad to help him if he needs it. Education is really important and so are his grades," Pat said.

Barry looked astonished, so much for the fag image. "Uh, you help Mike with his homework and I plow your driveway free…I mean that," He said.

"Okay, kid…sounds like you got yourself a tutor," Pat said.

Mike smiled; it had all gone according to plan. They left and Mike looked back with a wink. Yeah, that's my boy, Pat thought.

Pat kept his little Subaru in low gear all the way into town, he needed groceries. Cooking for Mike had been a pleasure, but Lord the boy could eat. It was probably his fault, sex made him hungry as well.

He pushed the shopping cart down the aisle. 'I have a boyfriend,' he wanted to yell. It felt so good, he hadn't been this happy in years. But not like he could tell anyone, who would he tell?

Last summer he had gone to the dance bars with Leo and Jack, he danced just to wear himself out. The gay scene wasn't his, it was theirs, but he had known them for years. Consummate lovers going on ten years, the lucky bastards.

The boys in the bars had looked tired, as if maintaining that forever youthful image wore them out, and perhaps it did. The nineteen-something's were still cute and he'd even been passionate with a twenty-five year old. But to Pat it wasn't the age that attracted him, it was the body. He just liked smaller men and Mike was picture perfect.

The part about nurturing them was true, how many wayward boys had sponged off of him over the years? A dozen…? It started off as nurturing but quickly became an abuse of his kindness, and shortly thereafter he showed them the door. Mike was years away from being in a position to abuse the relationship, and for some reason he knew the boy just wouldn't.

Mike was in love with him, the look in his eyes said as much. But he was a smart kid, he wasn't about to blurt that out and spoil the moment. The boy was waiting…waiting for Pat to give him some kind of indication that love was okay and that the feeling was mutual. It was this patience that had Pat hooked, Mike wanted this to last…and Pat was ready to fall in love.

The weeks rolled by, and snow kept on falling. Mike was over promptly every Saturday morning and they did homework, something to show his father. But the kid was bright, the help was marginal…the sex sure wasn't.

The final snow of winter turned into rain and two weeks later they had bulbs springing up in the garden. Now Mike showed Pat where the plants needed care, where the first buds would appear on the fruit trees and where his talents would best serve the needs of Pat's yard. They decided to plant a vegetable garden when the frost threat was gone.

Of course Barry encouraged his son to work and Pat made sure the boy went home with money in his pocket, adding to his family's income. The grass finally turned green in early May, the flowers bursting forth into a glorious riot of spring color and they tilled the land. Winter was just a memory and this one Pat would never forget.

The vegetables were planted in neat rows and promised to bring them pounds of fresh produce. Pat figured his doctor would be happy, this was healthy living. Mike promised to show Pat how to cook and can the excess, quickly proving the boy was just full of surprises.

School let out and Mike spent more time working in the yard. In the second week of June Pat arose early to await Mike's appearance. The sharp thorny blackberry bushes were in bloom and the fruit trees all had signs of offering a good harvest as well. Today they were going to check out the trees for signs of infestation and spray if necessary, but by nine o’clock the boy was still a no show.

Pat went out to inspect the trees himself. How hard could it be? Bugs were little crawly things on the branches and leaves, right? Just as he reached the trees a strange car pulled into the driveway and there was Mike.

"Hey, Pat…sorry I'm late." Mike said as he slid out of the passenger's seat. Then he looked over at the other boy who walked up, the driver. "Pat, this is Neil…Neil, my good friend, Pat."

"Hello Neil," Pat said.

"Hi," The boy said. His demeanor said shy, his face said gorgeous. Mike was dark featured and Neil was fair, as fair as the sun shining brightly in the sky above.

"Neil's family just moved in up at the Old Brownlow estate," Mike said.

The Brownlow estate had been the grandest home in the area, now a bit of a fixer upper. But still, it denoted a wealthy family, way out of Pat's league. Was Mike impressed with the money or the boy? Pat would guess the boy.

"You seemed to latch onto that information pretty fast," Pat laughed.

"Oh hell yeah, Dad always wants to know these things…business you know," Mike said with a wink. "Besides, Lorraine at the real estate office is my godmother…sorta family you know."

"So Neil…what brings your family to town?" Pat asked.

"I dunno, Dad just said we were moving here, so we did."

"And where do you come from?" Pat asked. God this was like pulling teeth.

"Michigan…Lansing," Neil finally said.

"Good, at least you'll be used to the long winters. Mike is an expert on that subject," Pat said.

And then Neil looked over at Mike…and Pat knew…there were three gay people in town now. He wondered if Mike knew. Neil was not only a beauty, his entire being spoke of a certain softness, he was Mike's opposite and that was what told Pat he was gay.

That one look said that Neil found his new friend attractive; Pat had seen it all before. And with that knowledge his heart sank. Mike could have his peer experience…it was standing right before his very eyes.

The fact that Mike had professed love never quite sunk in. To Pat it had only been based upon desire and never on reality. If Mike began a relationship with Neil then Pat knew he would have to support it. It would be best for all concerned, even if it did leave him lonely in the end. The worst part was that Mike now knew just about everything he could learn from a gay man.

Pat thought he really ought to see the humor in all this. He had been preparing Mike to assume a role in their relationship because it seemed to be what the boy wanted. And here stood Neil, a definite gay boy if he'd ever met one and the new kid in town. How was this going to work?

Neil also looked to be a little younger than Mike and less assertive. Of course it would take a lot for someone to be as precocious or assertive as a Tolliver. Mike had almost seemed to go against his very nature when he melted into Pat's arms. Tollivers were used to being the top dogs, only Pat knew that Mike was different once the bedroom door was shut.

"I told Neil all about you," Mike said, giving Pat a wink. "He knows I've been working real hard on your place."

"Yes you have, maybe Neil will be in some of your classes?" Pat said.

"I'm going to be in eleventh grade," Neil said. Pat already knew Mike was going to be a senior. "At least I will if those assholes send my transcripts over here."

"You didn't come from a good school?" Pat asked.

"No…They kicked me out," Neil said. "I…I was glad to get out of there."

Mike looked on curiously, quite ready to let Pat find out everything about this boy he could. He found Neil attractive, that wasn't hard to see. Mike just wasn't sure what to make of it. Do I have to do everything, Pat thought?

"You guys eat breakfast yet? I probably shouldn't even bother to ask, Mike eats at the drop of a hat. Let's go inside," Pat said.

He made waffles as the boys sat at the table and drank juice. Once the food was on the table Pat sat down and the need for discovery became real.

"New Bridge is a quiet little town, accent on the little part," Pat said. "That means kids come to the high school from all over the county. Do you think you'll have hard time getting along here, Neil?"

"Nope…maybe. Mike said you came here from New York. I bet you've seen a lot of things in your life, met all kinds of people," Neil said.

"I have," Pat said. "My friends were chosen for their diversity, everyone brings something different to the table." How subtle could he get? Neil seemed to understand.

"I…I'm…" And then he looked right over at Mike. "I'm gay," Neil said.

Mike chewed a bit of waffle and nodded. "Pat and I are too," he responded as if it were no big deal.

Neil's eyes showed the surprise, looking from Mike to Pat and back. "You are?"

Pat nodded as well. "Yes, it just doesn't pay to advertise. Is that what got you in trouble at school?"

"Oh My God…yes, it was awful. I got picked on, beat up and even raped…well almost, he didn't quite get there when the principal showed up. They blamed me, can you imagine that? My parents sure didn't know how to deal with it, that's why we're here."

Mike put a hand over Neil's and smiled. "That won't happen here, you just have to stay cool, and no one needs to know. Somebody fucks with you just tell me, I seem to scare a lot of people, it works for me."

Neil got tears in his eyes and Pat reached over and handed him a paper napkin. "You listen to Mike and he'll take care of you."

Neil nodded. "I…I didn't think there would be any gay people here, are…are you guys like lovers?"

Pat looked over at Mike and saw the expectant look in the boy's eyes. He could only tell the truth. "Mike and I have explored the possibilities, but there haven't been any commitments. We both had needs and I think what we found was something we both could share. I expect you'll get time to know each other better."

The look of shock on Mike's face said it all; he wasn't expecting to receive Pat's blessing like that. It was the right thing to do, the best for them both. If he tried to defend what he had with Mike at the moment they would both become miserable.

Now it was Mike who had tears in his eyes and Pat reached out to console him.

"Baby, it's a big bad world out there, don't you think its best if we keep our little piece of heaven intact? I told you the day might come, maybe it has. This is probably the only place you can be totally safe with your feelings, you already know that."

Mike and Neil stared at one another across the table and all Pat could think of was…maybe, they were such opposites it might just work. They had the rest of the summer to find out.

They worked amidst the trees that day. Mike on the ladder in the upper branches as Neil stood at the bottom to steady it. Pat picked up the clippings Mike made in cutting out several spots of infestation, and then he carried them over to the barrel for burning. He wouldn't allow the boys to spray and didn't feel comfortable doing it himself so he called in a tree service for the following day.

But this wasn't about the work they'd accomplished, it was about the boys getting to know one another in the light of the feelings that seemed so obvious. Being gay in a rural setting was hard, at least until you met someone just like you. Pat had felt that when Mike first appeared, now he watched the boy go through that with Neil.

By four they had to leave since Neil needed to get his mother's car home. Pat had hoped Mike might stay, but he seemed inclined to leave the way he'd arrived, with Neil. Pat gave Neil a hug and the boy sweetly kissed him on the cheek. Mike hugged and held on for dear life, his way of being thankful. They kissed on the lips, and then he was gone.

Pat sat a chair out on the front lawn after it got dark and watched the stars come out. A clear night, just the bare glimmer of lights from the town off in the distance, and there overhead lay the universe. It always made him feel small, insignificant…and even more so this evening.

He couldn't deny Mike’s needs, but now it seemed he just didn’t know what they were. Being with Neil was more right than anything they had done together. Mike needed the chance to understand what love really meant, he just hoped he hadn't spoiled the thrill of that discovery.

Up there in the universe worlds might collide and they would never know it, down here it was much more personal. Neil seemed like a nice boy but he had endured far too much in his life already. No, he had made the right choice in stepping out of the way. Pat just hoped they would be careful.

He had offered his home without even thinking of the consequences. Two boys in the throes of passion behind his bedroom door might be a lot to handle. Now he realized he had done it so that Mike would succeed, what did that say? He loved the boy…that would never go away…the only thing they had lost was the sex.

Pat walked around the back of the house and looked at the garden they had planted. Tomatoes and beans, corn and…it didn’t matter. None of it would matter if Mike wasn’t around to share it with him.

He went through the back door and dug under the kitchen sink. Yes, there it was, and he pulled out the jar labeled rat poison. Setting it gently on the table he unscrewed the lid and dumped out the slender pipe and that tiny bag of pot he'd brought up from New York, a farewell gift from Leo and Jack. Mike never knew it existed and he had no need to know.

Sitting in the front yard once again Pat proceeded to smoke himself into oblivion, something he hadn't done in ten years or more. It would make the thoughts go away, it would bring on a dreamless sleep, and perhaps he would find peace.

It was early, maybe ten or eleven o'clock and Pat felt no pain…in fact his face felt numb which made him giggle. His mouth was dry as a cotton ball but he couldn't move…he was royally stoned. The stars seemed brighter now, the night darker around him. He almost freaked when a shape came hurdling at him up the driveway and landed at his feet. He looked down into Mike's eyes.

"Pat…Oh Pat…Jeez, are you stoned?" Mike asked, sniffing the air.

"Yes…I am," Pat said, his voice sounding like it came from a million miles away. "What…What are you doing here?"

Mike crawled up Pat's body and pressed their lips together. Then he pulled back.

"Jeez, you reek of weed. Come on, let me take you inside," Mike said.

He pulled Pat to his feet and they stumbled through the front door. Mike virtually carried Pat on his broad shoulders, sliding him into the kitchen and onto a chair at the table.

"Water," Pat said. And Mike went to get him a glass.

Pat managed to drink some, spilling a lot more. The weed had a stronger effect than he'd bargained for. Mike cupped his chin and stared into Pat's eyes.

"Why did you get so fucked up…was it because of me?"

Pat nodded and then Mike kissed him again before kneeling at his feet and looking up.

"Can I tell you something, will you understand?" Mike asked.

"Yes, I'm stoned not crazy," Pat replied. "What are you doing here?"

"I came…I came back to say I love you."

Pat reached down and ran his fingers through Mike's hair. "That's so sweet. Neil is a very lucky boy."

Mike shook his head. "No…I love you not him…I will never love him."

Pat frowned, what was the boy saying? "Mike…love takes time to develop. He's a beautiful boy and…"

"No, you don't get it. He's too gay, or I'm not gay enough…I don't know…it just won't happen with him. I don't want him, I want you."

"What happened…this afternoon I thought…"

"Yeah, but that was all wrong. I can be his friend but nothing else. We stopped down by the river and he began to tell me about how much fun we could have being friends. I don’t know…he just doesn't appeal to me, Pat. I know what we both thought, but it was all wrong."

Mike was upset, that was obvious. Pat pulled the boy into his lap and they cuddled. It felt so good, it always had.

Mike sniffled, on the verge of tears. "I thought meeting another gay boy would be wonderful, I didn't know Neil would be so different from me that I couldn't handle it. It's hard being gay and now seeing how different we are…"

Mike sobbed and Pat placed a hand on the back of the boy's head.

"Oh baby, everyone is different, we're all individuals. Just being gay doesn't mean every other gay person will be someone you like. You're such a strong and handsome boy…I like the masculine side of you…it's a wonderful part of your character."

Mike sat up and Pat saw the tears on his cheeks. "You…you still love me don't you?"

Pat's lips compressed and he fought back the emotions. "Mikey, I never loved you more."

Mike wiped away the tears and a smile crept onto his face. "I was afraid…I didn't know what you were thinking, it was like you gave me to him this afternoon."

Pat nodded. "I would have if that's what you needed. If you love someone and they need to be set free then you have to do it to preserve that love. It's getting late…won't your daddy wonder where you are?"

"No, I told him I was staying here tonight so we could meet the tree service in the morning, he was half drunk, and he doesn't care."

"So you came back…I never would have become so stoned if I'd known," Pat said.

"I didn't know you smoked…was it because you were sad?"

"Yes, I haven't done this in ten years…Look, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I don't do anything but cry when I get sad," Mike said.

"This didn't help me feel any better, but seeing you sure did."

"Then let's go lay down and love each other," Mike said.

It was late, so late in fact that the only thing left in the night sky was the stars. After sharing love, they had come outside with a blanket and lay in the grass under the stars.

"I couldn't see the stars when I lived in the city, too many lights," Pat said.

"I've been looking at stars my whole life, even when I was a little kid," Mike said. "But somehow they look different tonight."

"Through the eyes of love the stars shine brighter and hearts beat faster,

For true love is divine, the source of all life delivered by our master…"

"I can't remember the rest of it." Pat said.

"Is that a famous quote by somebody?" Mike asked.

"Yes, that somebody is me. I wrote poetry when I was in college."

"That was very good…you could understand the stars even if you couldn't see them from where you were," Mike said.

"Clever boy, that was it exactly. Seeing is not always believing and faith often takes its place. I don't have to see love to know what's in your heart."

"Yes, it's there and it's all yours," Mike said. "I think Neil is gonna be disappointed, you think he'll get mad?"

"No, we were together before he got here. I think he already knows we're in love."

"I don't think he'll do too well at school, he's gonna have problems."

"I thought you were going to take care of that," Pat said. "Having second thoughts?"

"It's gonna be hard, there are some real assholes at my school…I mean our school. There's no way he can hide what he is."

"Don't suppose giving him manly lessons will work, will it?" Pat asked.

"Not hardly, you saw him…he ought to be at Bradford."

"What's Bradford?"

Mike laughed. "Like only the snobbiest prep school in the state, it's over in Littleton. All the rich kids go there…cute rich kids."

"Does Neil know about it? Maybe he ought to find out before anything bad happens," Pat said.

"Yeah, now that would be a real act of friendship, wouldn't it?" Mike laughed.

"Now don't be mean, he'll still be living here…we ought to be friendly to him," Pat said.

"I guess…I haven't even met his parents."

"Maybe we ought to…"

"Oh yeah, Dad would like that too…good idea."

"Another good idea would be to get back inside, the dew is starting to fall and we're gonna get soaked," Pat said.

The tree service awoke them a few hours later when they roared up the driveway. A pleasant fellow who admired what they had already done. They agreed on a price and then the man proceeded to spray the trees with something foul smelling. Pat was two hundred dollars poorer and a lot wiser for the experience.

After lunch they drove over to the Brownlow estate to see Neil. Pat had only driven past the gates last fall, now he drove through them and up to the house. The property might be huge but the house wasn't a mansion, it seemed to need a lot of repair on the outside.

Neil opened the door at their knock and seemed pleased to see them which left Pat figuring Mike had not let the axe fall on the relationship just yet. Mrs. Dennison seemed like a nice lady and was only too glad to meet someone else who was not quite a local. They introduced one another as the boys went off to look around while Pat sat with her in the living room.

"I've never seen the inside of this house before, it's quite lovely," He said.

"Thanks, but it's still just a mess. I asked Clayton to find me some help," Nora said.

"For the outside you could probably get Mike and his dad to do some work. Mike tends my yard quite a bit…his father is a different sort," Pat said.

"Oh? Mike seems like a nice boy."

"Yes…um, he has a more worldly view of things. The father is still pretty much a local character with some odd habits. I've been tutoring Mike all winter to improve his math skills," Pat said.

"Oh, you tutor, is that your profession?" Nora asked.

"No, not really. I'm a software designer, the security industry mostly. I left New York for health reasons but I still consult to some degree. What brings you folks to New Bridge besides the view?"

"Clayton spent summers near here as a child so I suppose he never got that out of his system. Neil needed a better place to grow up because he had some issues back in Lansing. I'm so glad he found a friend in Mike, Neil has a hard time making friends."

"He seems like an easy going boy, they ought to get along just fine," Pat said.

So how was he going to broach the subject of school, he wasn't even sure Nora knew of her son's sexual preferences.

"I imagine you're a bit more aware of life's issues than most around here, New York has all kinds of people. But Neil has…well, he isn't like most boys," Nora said.

So she did know. "I understand…he's gay, and that must cause you a lot of concern," Pat said.

Nora smiled. "Yes, any mother would worry…how did you know?"

"I'm gay as well, and Mike doesn't seem to care about what I am so I assume he won't worry about Neil either. I take it Neil will be at the public school this fall?" Pat asked.

"Yes…do you see that as a problem?"

"I don't…but Mike does. He thinks Neil won't be able to hide his feelings. It's a sign of concern for their friendship that he expressed that feeling to me last night," Pat said.

"Oh…Neil had a pretty bad time last year. Now what am I going to do?" Nora said.

"There's always the Bradford Academy over in Littleton, a private school and I don't know much about it. But Mike seems to think that Neil might find them a little more accommodating."

"Mike seems to know an awful lot," Nora said.

"Bright kid…he probably ought to be at Bradford himself except his family can't afford it," Pat said. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to presume anything about your financial situation, it's just this house and all…"

Nora smiled. "It's fine and I know what it looks like. My husband is in the financial industry and he's been doing quite well. I suppose we ought to look into Bradford, I don't think Neil could face another year of rejection at school. Thank you for the suggestion."

Pat smiled. "I think it's sweet that Mike is looking out for your son, I hope their friendship continues. It will do both of them a lot of good."

"So what is Mike's father like?" Nora asked.

They shared a cup of tea and talked for over an hour before Mike and Neil came downstairs to find them. One look told him that Mike had ended any thoughts of a romantic entanglement, Neil looked positively sad.

"I suppose we ought to be going," Pat said. "Thank you for your hospitality."

"You're both welcome anytime, and Mike, I hope to be seeing more of you in the future," Nora said.

"You will, Mrs. Dennison," Mike replied.

"I'll walk them out," Neil said.

"I'm sorry, Neil…Mike still wants to be your friend," Pat said once they were outside.

"I know…it’s never easy is it?" Neil replied.

"No, but I think you might like what I suggested to your mother. Mike and I both think you would be better off in a private school. Bradford is just up the road and I'm pretty sure you'll find a close friend or two over there," Pat said.

"Yeah…Bradford, Mike told me. Thanks for telling my mom about it, I don't need another bad year with a bunch of assholes."

"I think Mike is just looking out for you. We have to keep our secret little family safe and sound."

"Thanks Pat…and you too Mike. I wish you guys the best of luck."

"Don't be a stranger, even if you do end up in a school full of cute boys, come see us, okay?" Pat said.

"We're gonna do the Fourth of July together," Mike said.

"Yeah, that ought to be fun," Neil said.

"Come by this weekend, Mike plays a mean game of Monopoly and I hope you can smash him, I sure can't," Pat said.

"Aw, you just let me win, I'm not that good," Mike said.

"Okay, maybe I'm just terrible," Pat laughed. "Oh, and Neil…I told your mother I was gay but I said nothing about Mike, maybe we ought to keep that our secret."

"Yeah, I will…bye guys," Neil replied.

"Bye, Neil." And they both gave the boy a hug.

"That went pretty well," Mike said as they hit the end of the driveway.

"I think you're a pretty special guy, Mr. Tolliver…you handled that very well."

"Thank you, Mr. Stevens…can we go do some more of that homework? You tutored me pretty damn good last night, but I need another lesson."

Pat laughed. "Yes…you seem to be a very good student."

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